American men are what they are husbands and family men. Psychology of American men

17.05.2019

American mentality. If we talk about Americans as a nation, then we should immediately discard the ethnic factor determining the concept of nationality. There is no such ethnic concept as American nationality. The nationality of an American is de jure determined by the presence of US citizenship.

What we usually think of as nationality is what Americans call ethnicity. Hence such purely American concepts as African American, Hispanic, Asian American, Hindu, Russian, etc. are possible. Therefore, the words "nationality", "national" are translated into Russian as "citizenship", "citizen", and in a literal translation from Russian into English, the word "nationality" will mean "ethnicity" - "Ethnicity".

De facto, we understand who we are talking about when we talk about an American. The melting pot of the North American continent created the nation of Americans. The basis of American society and the first settlers are still considered white immigrants from Great Britain, ethnic British and Irish. Other ethnic elements of American society largely keep to themselves, retaining their ethnic features both in terms of everyday life and in terms of mentality. They assimilated into the nation exclusively de jure.

Considering the peculiarities of the American mentality, one should keep in mind only de facto Americans. That is, those US citizens who represent the social, cultural and political "core" of American society.

Over several centuries, European Americans have changed significantly and now do not even remotely resemble their European ancestors. This new national symbiosis is characterized by a completely non-European mentality. The new American mentality of the former Europeans is unparalleled. If in Europe you can not immediately determine whether your interlocutor is a German or a Frenchman, a Swede or a Swiss, then an American can be unmistakably guessed in an American.

The first and main feature of US citizens is patriotism. For an American, this is not political propaganda. They really consider their country the best, their democracy the most democratic, their cars the best, and so on. Almost every American considers it his duty to decorate his house with the national flag.

Europe, and even more so Asia, is somewhere very far away for the average American and is of little concern to him. Cultural and educated Americans have adopted European values, but are quite condescending towards the Old World, not wanting to be identified with the inhabitants of modern Europe.

According to some sociologists, the reason for American patriotism is that the first settlers in the United States were people quite desperate and adventuristically bold. They went through a difficult path of exploration of the New World. They got rid of British domination and mastered the vast expanses of their new homeland. They revived it from a tribal to a powerful state.

The remoteness of the United States from the Old World allowed the Americans to build their country without regard to European models. It was this passionarity of the young nation that laid the roots of today's arrogant patriotism. Wherever an American lives and no matter how long an American lives on earth, he considers himself an American and remains an American. The same passionarity of the young man also developed another feature of the American mentality - efficiency, enterprise, business aggressiveness.
Americans are very businesslike. They tend to work hard, and therefore earn a lot. The average American, predominantly a resident of the metropolis, strives to make a good career and earn as much money as possible. He is fast and punctual. The time he has is the equivalent of money.
But all this does not mean at all that the American is a joyless workaholic making money. This is a person who knows for sure how to relax and have fun after a working day. He understands leisure and at the same time knows how to manage money, accumulate it or risky investing in new projects. An American knows how to insure himself against anything, but he risks money like no one else in the world.

It is not customary for Americans to ask for a loan - they prefer to take loans only from a bank, and regularly pays off their debts for life. To ask for a loan from an American means to seriously affect his business feelings.
Americans really appreciate home comfort and comfort in the circle of their family. However, even among relatives it is not customary to make phone calls after 10 pm. It is also not customary to come to the house without an invitation; Americans do not like uninvited calls and visits.

Americans do not accept pessimism. An American always shows himself to be a healthy and successful person. "How are you?" - "The best". An American tries to always smile, regardless of whether he likes a person or not. All Americans strive to maintain an optimistic society and a general positive atmosphere in society. Also, Americans love and appreciate humor. However, American humor is rather primitive.

Despite the huge number of obese people in the United States, Americans tend to devote a lot of time to sports. In the US, sport is indeed a national culture and way of life. Americans are very fond of baseball and hockey, which, in fact, are the national sports in the United States.

The American believes that everyone should mind their own business. He will not lie under a broken car for days on end. That's what a car service is for. He will not bake pizza himself - there is a pizzeria for this. More and more Americans are even eating breakfast out of the house. Everyone has coffee makers at home, but on the way to work, an American will definitely stop by a local cafe or fast food restaurant.

If an American has done something with his own hands, then you can be sure that this is only what he can do professionally. Otherwise, he prefers to earn money to pay for the performance of this work by a specialist.

Mention should be made of the specific sex ratio in the United States. An American does not perceive a woman as a weak creature. First of all, a woman is a competitor for him. An American man does not marry quickly just because he is in love. He will marry when he has established a base for the family. Even more likely not for the family of the two of them, namely the base for the unborn child. Americans consider it normal to pay for oneself in a restaurant, even if it involves meeting a loved one in a restaurant. American women from an early age get used to independence and self-sufficiency. Dependence on a husband is considered bad manners by American women.

If a young couple lives together in a rented apartment, then they pay rent and utilities in half, each for himself. Also, as a rule, they agree to take turns paying for purchases of food, household trifles, or simply create a joint expense item for this.

Moreover, practice shows that an American woman has much more rights in the family than her average American husband. The growing influence of women in contemporary American society is in line with a similar trend in developed European countries.

Nia tells how to behave in a serious relationship with American men by her own example. Very l.

Nai's story

Usually I do not discuss my personal life on forums or on the Internet, but here I just get curiosity (sorry for my jargon), I want to discuss it.

I started a relationship with an American in November. We met in the States when I was in his city. In general, there are a lot of lyrics in this story, fate simply turned us in an incredible way towards each other. 3 failed relationship attempts didn't make me any more realistic. But, I still remain dreamy and naive: I dreamed about him in a new place even before I met him, and on the first day when we met, a spark flared up between us.

He himself is from a small town, served in the army, but at the same time an incredibly sensitive, attentive, gentle and responsible person. I was only 3 days in his city, we kissed on the second evening, and could hardly restrain ourselves not to go further, because. the circumstances were not the best.

On the third evening, these circumstances did not change, but I really, really wanted to be in bed with him. I hinted at it, but he said that "I deserve to have the first night in the right place at the right time, under the right circumstances." This phrase struck me to the core, because the guy really meant it! Yes, I don’t have much experience in life, but I’m already so used to cynical Moscow men that from such a phrase I already began to believe in something bright. And as it turned out, not in vain.

We decided to try a relationship at a distance, besides, even then I began to feel that he was becoming an impulse for me to move to the States (I won the GC last year, all the deadlines were met, just the last push was not enough). And I told him this, he also began to tune in to it.

Every day we talked (and continue) on Skype, for 2-3 hours a day. Very quivering, interesting and remarkably everything developed. For Christmas, I was supposed to go to friends in Europe, and my mother said: “why don’t you meet in Europe and celebrate the New Year together?”

The idea was wonderful, I was inspired immensely, and decided to offer it to my dear. He was shocked by the offer, he thought for a day, but the next day he said: “Yes, I will come!”. To cut a long story short, the week was just incredible - I really saw in him qualities of a man that I thought I would never see again.

After this trip, I made a final decision: in March I'm moving to Chicago, he lives only 1.5 hours away from him. I'm going to Chicago because he's still studying and doesn't work, even though he has savings. And I need to think about my self-realization.

And finally, I got to the topic that I wanted to discuss - once a month ago, my friend, who lived for a whole year in the States, said this phrase: “as soon as you study, he owes you, he is on your hook "(She is a sociologist, not cynical and not bitchy, if anything!) I am not one of those people who use a man for their own purposes, I have my own values, I want a normal and healthy relationship. But the phrase is relevant.

So, the situation: for a week now, the beloved has not said anything about his trip to Chicago for reconnaissance, although he was going to do it for a long time. He promised that he would look after apartments, districts, so that later he would tell me everything (I will pay for the apartment myself, although I know that he will even help). I am a well-mannered girl, I didn’t remind him, I didn’t want to put pressure, so I waited for him to mature. But everything did not mature.

And then I finally decided to ask, but I started from afar. I had to gather all my will into a fist to finally ask him (here I should probably add that I grew up in the land of the rising sun, and I have an increased sense of shame).

He understood how difficult it was for me to do this, and even jokingly said: “Naya, repeat after me - when-you-get-to-go-to-Chicago-to-learn-about-everything.” I repeated after him, he was at a loss: “I actually kissed your feet, and you are embarrassed to tell me what I should do?”

And then this phrase of my girlfriend surfaced in my head. To be honest, my beloved is now opening America to me with his attitude to a woman, to relationships themselves and to life. I kind of travel around the world, talked a lot, but somehow ... even scary! I can't just relax and fully trust, because past experiences have been deplorable, and I have almost stopped believing in such miracles. What do you think?

A few comments

Olga: In any case, the decision is yours! The mentality is different, but in any case, you decide what you want! Love and be happy, no one can give you good advice! A tiny piece of advice from me: remember about realism, at least sometimes.

Sofia: Yes, these Americans are strange: another planet!

Naya: Thank you very much, there was a moment of weakness and excessive anxiety about everything in the world. I will try to just live this day, enjoy and appreciate what life gives. Thank you very much for your attention and comments.

What do you think of this story? Is Naya doing everything right? Will there be a happy ending or will everything end in disappointment for her again?

The American mentality is the first thing that catches the eye of people who come to the United States as a guest (and that is why some of them stay here). So what makes people stay in the US, why is this country so attractive for immigration?

The American mentality is in simplicity

Americans are simple people and communicate with each other, as a rule, informally. The official form of address (for service personnel) is sir (for men) and ma "am (for women). When you are treated like that, it's nice. You feel like a lady! 🙂

They dress simply too. Unlike Moscow, you will not meet girls in heels almost anywhere, everyone walks in flip flops or sneakers, jeans or shorts, T-shirts or T-shirts. Muted tones, nothing bright. Only in nightclubs young ladies "come off to the fullest" allowing themselves a celebration of color and silhouette.

In buses, subways, you can sit, take any position you like, you can even lie down. It's all accepted here. In high school, tables are separate for each person, and you can put your legs on top of this table right during the lesson. Nobody will tell you either. You can also safely go to school in pajamas if you do not have time to change. This is also not allowed. I already wrote about this in the article. 🙂

Americans like to tease each other and, as they say, talk shit (this is a slightly aggressive way of teasing, usually such conversations are only between close acquaintances).

In general, the frames here are more erased. You can say to the person in the elevator, “How dare you buy lasagna and tease everyone around you?” Therefore, my American tried, out of habit, to talk to everyone in our Moscow metro (I wrote more about his trip to Russia). No one is offended by such phrases, people will support the conversation and laugh together.

The American mentality is in good nature

Almost all Americans greet strangers. They say "Hi", "Hi, how are you?" or "good morning", while usually smiling, sometimes with a full mouth. 🙂 Sometimes they just show you the five of their hand as a sign of greeting.

If you have already met with a person more than once, in order to smooth out an awkward moment, people begin to talk. What can they talk about? For example, about the weather. If you run or ride a bike - they ask how many circles you do, they say how many they do. This is what they call small talk.

Some people do not say hello at all, which already seems rude to me (usually Mexicans or African Americans).

In some establishments, there is such a friendly atmosphere, as if you have known these people for a thousand years. This is great!

Last Saturday we went to a communication salon, we sit, we wait in line. Someone's children, not coming off, play in the phones provided for sale. One girl lay down on the floor and plays a tablet. Nobody takes any notice of her. When the turn came to us, we approached the seller and began to talk about the topic of our visit. When the topic was exhausted, the guys decided to talk about sports. At this time, people are waiting. And the seller talks about sports with the buyer! 🙂

American mentality & Google translator

I often noticed that the meaning of words, as if translated by Google translator, is not at all what they really are. That is, like those, but by 20 percent. For example:

  1. dork - "moron". Actually this word is good, for those who are a little crazy;
  2. silly - "stupid". In fact, this is more similar to our "stupid" (not to be confused with stupid);
  3. dumb - "stupid". Actually the meaning is softened, for those who are a little dumb. 🙂
  4. hot is something between sexy and beautiful. It's slang, but you can even use it when talking to your parents about your new boyfriend. Or say to the person's face that he/she is so hot! 🙂 Not allowed to be used in a formal setting.
  5. ugly - ugly, ugly. This word is rarely used in Russian, because it is considered sooo rude. In English, the word does not have such a strong meaning, you can easily say that about someone. But not in the face.

These are just five examples, of course, I don’t urge you to say whatever you want in general, so you can get punched in the face. But the understanding of words here is softer than in Russian, where you would definitely get in the face!

American mentality is positive

People around you should think that everything is wonderful with you. You cannot discuss your money problems if there are people nearby. You are in abundance, happy and have no problems a priori.

I like the American mentality with its friendly attitude and freedom to behave in some situations as the soul wanted (I wrote about other freedoms in the USA)

Money Relationships

Americans pay money for the slightest service rendered to them. For example, when my MCH went to Russia to visit me, he paid his father $200 for a week of his absence. The duties of the father included: to come once a day to his house, feed the dog and clean up after it. And also his father takes money for what babysitting her granddaughters sometimes! They are accepted and in the order of things. They pay their friends when they come and start your car (we had battery problems at one time), and for many, many other things. It's just their way of expressing gratitude. 🙂

How do Americans solve problems?

To solve problems, they resort to very amusing tricks. 🙂 Maybe we can learn something from them?

  1. To solve the problem of long waiting times for baggage at Houston Airport, the management decided (attention!) to increase the time for passengers to travel from the plane to the baggage claim hall by 6 times. Passengers no longer complained about luggage delays.
  2. To solve the problem with the long wait for the elevator in high-rise buildings, it was decided to hang mirrors next to them so that those waiting could “spy” on people standing next to them or admire their loved ones.
  3. To solve the problem of long queues at the Disneyland park, the administration decided to hang electronic displays near the attractions with (attention!) Deliberately increased waiting times. Visitors now knew what they were getting into when standing in line and were always very happy when they passed before the specified time.
  4. We all know small items at the checkouts (chewing gum, candies, chocolates, etc.) appeared there because people did not like to stand in line for a long time. And now they are still shopping while waiting their turn. By the way, in connection with this, supermarkets began to earn $5 billion more a year. Cheeky, isn't it? 🙂

I hope the article was interesting! If so, then I propose to subscribe, because further it will be even more interesting! 😉 Bye bye!

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Recently, there has been much more talk about how different worldviews Russians and Americans have. The mentality is really different, but is it fundamentally different?

The whole world is enemies

The mystery of the Russian soul is not really understood by outsiders. At the moment, if you measure this misunderstanding, the device would go off scale. But they did not come up with either a device or a way out of this misunderstanding. Even jokes on the topic of differences in mentality have recently become much larger.

Probably because after decades of the Cold War, perestroika gave us the opportunity to get closer and get to know each other better. Well, we found out. The Russians, who never lost their credulity, came and knocked on the door. And then, according to blogger Olga Tukhanina, the door opened to put a bullet in the forehead of a stranger. Why is that?

History will answer for everything

Such is the reality. Americans, whose mentality is based on confidence in their own strength, and hence the rightness, are quite cruel. In addition, to a strangely high degree sentimental, which, however, is quite inherent in real cruelty. It's all about the origins, so it makes sense to consider the history of the two states. Both Russians and Americans knew wars quite well.

The mentality, however, has not ceased to be different. This is because the Russians defended and won, while the Americans attacked and also sometimes won. America does not have a single song about the enemies who burned their own hut and killed all their relatives. They do not know real suffering, and therefore there is no real compassion in them. That is why the features of the mentality of Americans differ from Russians. Russia knows what it is to defend its own land.

Impunity

After the notorious September 11, when not twenty million died, as with the Russians in the Great Patriotic War, but several thousand people, an act was adopted that grossly violated that is, what the Americans were especially proud of. The mentality has been enriched with a new characteristic touch. They are able to give up a little of their freedom for the sake of security. And someone else can be destroyed completely.

For the United States, this event was the most egregious in the history of the country. Not Indian genocide. Not atomic bombs on Japan. Not the children of Vietnam running in the fire of napalm. No. The Americans sincerely regretted the killed children, paper cranes flew across America in flocks in honor of the Japanese baby who died from radiation sickness. But the Americans did not repent, no. This whole alignment - self-importance and disregard for the rest of the world - has every tendency to persist in the future: Yugoslavia, Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Syria ... Where they want, they bomb there. And how much they want. Are they so brave or do they have no one to fear?

Dead end

In Europe, the war is remembered, in Russia even more so. And in the USA they know nothing about it, although they are constantly at war. Thousands of kilometers from home, why not fight? Most often, in front of the monitor, it’s like they are playing a game, like they are watching a Hollywood action movie.

"Wow!" - Hillary Clinton enthusiastically exclaimed when she was shown footage of the terrible death of Muammar Gaddafi. And she clapped her hands. Isn't that the majority of the rest of America? Hence the difference in Americans, Indians and British. If most people in a country enjoy killing foreigners, then that country is a danger to the rest of the world.

Dialog?

The Kremlin is unusually active right now. This, by the way, is a feature of a purely Russian mentality - to finally wake up, look around and be amazed: wow, what have they done without me! Many steps of our foreign policy - in the same Syria - clearly show that the need for a tough dialogue between Russia and the United States is ripe. Is it really possible to negotiate peacefully with those who like to kill everyone and who are used to doing it? And an indisputable fact - they will also try to kill us, and not at all agree, the mentality of the Americans does not suggest anything else.

We have already tried talking. Gorbachev not so long ago threw down his weapon and held out both hands. And then: him - in handcuffs, and the country - a bullet in the forehead. We are strangers to them. And they are the masters of the whole earth. We missed a bit that time, we made a mistake. And the second case of dialogue, if it happens, is unlikely to give America another opportunity to fire. The only thing Russians should be afraid of is a knife in the back.

Elections

To understand how the mentality of Americans differs from Russians, it is worth comparing the situation in the elections in both countries and the attitude towards them. Since the Parliament and the State Duma are held almost simultaneously, the pictures are easy to sort and classify. The mentality of the Americans and Russians is especially clearly visible in fresh footsteps. The difference is that in America, the same Hillary Clinton is shouting that she will return hegemony to the United States and destroy Putin and Russia.

In Russia, they do not know such a purely American trend as the infrastructure of influence on the whole world: the Russians did not invent a world currency that enslaved and also do not differ in their military presence around the world. It is also worth looking at the map for confirmation: covered the entire planet, concentrating around Russia. And even with such an external threat, the Russian mentality is invincible: in the recent elections, more than half of the population relied on chance and did not attend the vote.

From the point of view of modern psychology

Despite the fact that Russians and Americans have the same physiologically organism, many psychologists believe that these are completely different types of people. And their differences are almost entirely in the subconscious, that is, actions are performed absolutely automatically. In the perception of oneself and others, the mentality of Americans and Russians is even impossible to compare, because there are practically no points of contact from which one could begin a comparison. The American relies only on himself, does not see any obstacles to achieving the goal, and simply sweeps away those that come across on the way. This breeds unjustified self-confidence.

I want to grow long fingers like Chopin's, and I will! Oh, they didn't grow up. So, I wanted somehow weakly, I didn’t try. These are the main features of the American mentality. I want to be the strongest - I will weaken the rest. And the Russians mostly look around and do nothing most of the time, relying on circumstances. I wanted to do something, but historically it did not work out, the weather failed, the government interfered. That is, in the Russian mentality there is an apparent and unreasonable self-doubt. But everything is going well historically, the weather does not interfere, the government will help if the people face a single task. Sobornost - that's what is important for the Russian. And this is the difference between the mentality of Americans and Russians.

Conversations in different languages, although everything is in English

It is very difficult for Russians and Americans to even start a conversation. The Russians are silent for a long time and stubbornly, creating in those around them a false impression of either cowardice or stupidity. In fact, variance calculates how right or wrong they will turn out to be when they speak. Russians don't like to be wrong. Not in vain from everyday life and sayings: "The word is silver, and silence is gold" and "The word is not a sparrow, it will fly out - you won't catch it." Personal opinion is very expensive for a Russian, but he will almost always prefer public opinion.

The Americans are the opposite. They are sure that they have a complete understanding of everything in the world. They are taught at school that it is imperative to express their opinion on any occasion, and therefore they chat and chat non-stop, otherwise it is difficult for them to exist. But this does not mean at all that the American is bolder, stronger or wins in the mind. No. Occupying an unreasonably high position of know-it-alls, even the most prominent American experts cannot understand either the Russians or Russia. Even if our countries start negotiations, both get the impression that they are being conducted in different languages.

"Yes" and "no" do not say ...

Child Game. Such simple words, which are indispensable, can even serve as a pretext for the start of another war, if you do not take into account the mentality of the Americans and Russians. The difference is that among Russians the word "no" has gradations, while among Americans "no" is used in a single meaning - only no, solely and exclusively. They do not like those who use this word, and they themselves almost never use it - only in exceptional cases. With the word "yes" it's exactly the opposite. For the Russian there is no other meaning of this concept, but for the Americans - as much as you like. They even use it instead of "no" so that nothing threatens their private borders, suddenly the interlocutor will get angry at the refusal.

And therefore, cultural communication between two people, companies or countries quite often comes to a standstill. Russians consider hearing "yes" instead of "no" hypocrisy, and "no" is considered something like "well, almost yes." Americans, on the other hand, begin to behave aggressively if they were not understood or accepted: they said the word "no". The Russians, on the other hand, scratch their heads in amazement when the American partner, who clearly and loudly said "yes", suddenly did not fulfill his promises. And since the mentality is almost completely different, it is incredibly difficult for Russians and Americans to agree on anything. Although there were such joyful moments, there were. True, a long time ago. And immediately disappeared for a long time. Let's hope not forever.

Intermediaries

If an insufficiently comfortable situation is created for an American through the fault of others, then he, as a Russian would do, will never sort things out himself, make comments and generally teach how to live. He will appeal to the authorities - to the police, to the court, to any regulatory authorities. Fiscalism is not in honor for the Russian mentality, the Russian will definitely be offended, because he had no idea what was bothering someone, and any "buffer system" is useless so that he stops interfering with others. "Sneak" from early childhood is one of the worst insults. Russian parents teach their offspring: don't complain, figure it out yourself.

In America, it's the other way around. Complaining to a teacher is right and much better than just punching in the face, for example, an offender of girls. For the first, both the teacher and classmates will praise him, for the second he can be expelled from school. In the US, the average American is always scrupulously observant of the laws. In Russia, it’s even scary to think about complaining about the neighbors to the building manager - everyone will condemn it, even the building manager will be surprised. And if there are no cars on the horizon, any Russian will definitely cross the street at a red light. Because he has a different vision of expediency. Conflict is also a form of communication. Showdowns with neighbors from a fight easily turn into a long and true friendship. And this is normal, open and honest relations for Russians. Say what you think. Defend what was said not in litigation, but directly with each other. For Americans, any conflict is good neighborliness. It is especially bad that such a mentality greatly affects international relations.

Communication with Americans is an inevitable stage of socialization of everyone who finds himself in the USA. Even if you just came as a tourist, you can only get a real taste of America when you start interacting with the locals.

I’ll make a reservation right away that it is extremely difficult to understand the phenomenon of the “American mentality” - at least because here, in the country of emigrants, there lives a huge number of different people from all over the world, with different histories, different levels of education and different experience of life in the USA.

America is Chinese students, Indian programmers, Ukrainian businessmen, Japanese artists and even former Russians working for the US Department of Defense. The diversity of nationalities and cultures is what makes this country successful and fascinatingly interesting.

Nevertheless, many emigrants from the post-Soviet space complained that in the first months and even years of their stay in the United States, they encountered certain common features of the “American mentality” that were unusual for our culture.

Below I tried to list some observations of such emigrants, which may be useful to beginners and help to avoid annoying mistakes and high expectations. So, when communicating with Americans, do not forget that:

1. Being praised doesn't mean anything. . Americans are as generous with compliments as they are with smiles, and their compliments often mean the same. People from Russia and post-Soviet countries are accustomed to the fact that praise and professional approval entail some consequences: you will be hired, recommended somewhere, supported by your work, promoted, etc. In the absence of such consequences many emigrants feel that they have been deceived or shamelessly flattered.

However, in America it is worth getting used to the fact that if your work was marked as “extremely necessary, important and very necessary for us”, this may mean absolutely nothing. You should not hope that your interlocutor will try to find material support for his words. And this does not mean also that he is a liar and a flatterer. Praise and expression of approval in America is valuable in itself, it is perceived not only as politeness, but also as support for a person, helping him to believe in himself. The question of where support and encouragement ends and manipulation begins is actually not so simple, since both are widely represented in American everyday culture. But just in case, get ready for what to expect and demand for you is worth only what is enshrined in the relevant contract. Everything else is just words that you should learn to appreciate on their own.

This also includes the expectation of "barter". In Russia or Ukraine, there is an unspoken rule according to which, if you have done something good for a person, you have the right to count on a kind return. In practice, such expectations are by no means always realized in our country either, but the very legitimacy of such hopes is usually not called into question. Complaints of people who did not wait for the expected gratitude, we are accustomed to perceive with sympathy. In America, such expectations, most likely, simply will not be understood. If you were not promised anything specific, it only means that you are not owed anything. If you did something for another person that he himself assessed as necessary and useful, it was the realization of your own desire - this is a free country, isn't it?

2. If they do not argue with you, this does not mean that they agree with you. . American culture is based on tolerance and respect for any opinion. Americans are taught from childhood to be calm about the dissimilarity of one to another. It is difficult for them to understand that many of the beliefs of "our people" are based not only on stubbornness or inflexibility towards the opinions of others.

Often, behind the "radical" views of emigrants from post-Soviet countries, there is a hard experience of pain, wars and repressions, and therefore tolerance for outright evil seems to us an unforgivable luxury. However, Americans without such experience will think first of all about not hurting your feelings, and will listen to you and your opponent with equal patience - no matter how unprincipled you may think.

However, do not rush to reproach the Americans for softness - who knows, maybe someday you yourself will need to be accepted for who you are and condescend to your mistakes - even if you are wrong.

3. Your past doesn't matter to Americans. . This point follows logically from the previous one. In America, it is not customary to reproach a person even for being wrong in the present, and even more so it is not customary to judge him for the past. The opportunity to start a new life with a clean slate is certainly a wonderful thing, even if some begin to abuse it. For example, you can meet former KGB officers and agents in the US who have made a fortune by telling “thrilling stories” from their past. Deprived of our negative experience, Americans do not perceive such a past as sinister or shameful. Rather, for them, it becomes just another "exotic" that attracts curious adventurers.

However, with all the costs, this item carries a lot more positive than negative. This means that you can correct your past mistakes and make a choice again. No one will poison you for something that you already, with all your desire, cannot change.

Americans believe in a second chance - and some, due to their naivety, even in a third.

4. Americans don't always keep their word. . It would seem that optionality is a feature that is considered an attribute of the post-Soviet mentality. However, practice shows that many American promises are about the same value as compliments. As already mentioned, if the obligation to do something for you is not fixed in the contract, and the person with whom you are dealing is not a close friend of yours, his promise to try to do something for you may end up in futile hopes - even though that lying in this country is formally severely condemned. However, promises in the eyes of Americans are still one step lower than just lies. Your expectations are no longer perceived in this case as unreasonable as the hopes from point 1, but that doesn’t make it any easier for you, right?

5. At all costs, Americans are generally good people . Even if sometimes they don't seem like it to you. Just don't expect too much from them, and don't put too much emphasis on the pretty words that are an inevitable part of American culture. Perhaps, over time, this culture will even come to your liking.

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