If the child is sick. Psychological assistance to seriously ill children and their families

The need for love and emotional closeness is one of the basic human needs. Arising from the moment of birth, receiving initial satisfaction in the communication of the baby with the mother, who merge into one in the first months of life, it grows into a desire to have friends, fall in love, create a family.

It is the family that becomes the safe place where the human need for emotional intimacy is most fully satisfied. Numerous studies confirm that married people feel happier than those who are single (not married), divorced, and, most importantly, maintain a higher level of life satisfaction even in difficult crisis periods of life. The family brings the greatest satisfaction of the need for belonging to a group, leaving community belonging, friendship or communication with colleagues far behind. The help and emotional support received from a spouse is much higher than that received from blood relatives and colleagues.

A neurological study by Jim Coan at the University of Virginia found that happy family relationships reduce a person's response to stress and literally "calm down" the brain. At the same time, the reaction of the brain is different for those who consider themselves a married couple, and those who position themselves as just living together.

The study involved spouses and couples living together, and the duration and satisfaction of the relationship was the same in both groups. In the experiment, one of the pair was subjected to a safe electric shock to the ankle area, while the magnetic resonance imaging scanner recorded the brain's reaction to what was happening. When the shock occurred alone, the subject felt significant pain, and the activity of the area of ​​the brain responsible for the body's response to stress (the hypothalamus) was extremely strong. When a stranger held the subject's hand at the time of the electric shock, the reaction of the brain and subjective sensations were somewhat smoothed out. Meanwhile, when the spouse held the subject's hand during the experiment, the reaction of the brain and the sensation of pain were sharply reduced in those who called their relationship a family and considered them satisfactory. This effect did not occur in couples who simply lived together. Thus, the brain clearly discerned the degree of intimacy, trust and emotional security in a relationship, and the touch of a loved one relieved stress.

Unfortunately, it is trust and emotional closeness that are becoming scarce in the modern world. Many young people strive for pseudo-freedom, independence, trying, it seems, to hide behind this inability to love, to give warmth, to postpone the satisfaction of selfish needs. For them, family and children become an unbearable mental burden. The inner emptiness is filled with material consumption, social networking, promiscuity, alcohol, and drugs.

There are also slippery pseudo-scientific articles about the benefits of single life. A person finds himself in a trap of loneliness and illusions, from which he himself cannot escape. He looks at the family as something complicated and unattainable, and is in a hurry to devalue it, as in the famous fable about the Fox and the grapes. He destroys himself, denying his spiritual needs for emotional intimacy, experiences constant stress ... And there is no one to take his hand.

After university, Kiselev got a job at the USSR State Television and Radio Broadcasting. There he met his fourth wife, Elena. This time, the first-born son Gleb was born in the marriage. But the child did not keep Dmitry in the family, a year later he married Natalya for the fifth time.

The career of a TV presenter “went uphill”, he became very popular on TV. Worked on all foreign TV channels. In Russia, he led the programs “Rush Hour” and “Window to Europe”.

In 1995, Dmitry had an accident, his car overturned from the bridge into the river. He was diagnosed with a compressor fracture of the spine. A year later, in the suburbs, the TV presenter started a stable with horses. in 1998, Kiselev married his sixth wife, a foreigner, Kelly Richdale.

His life did not work out with a foreigner either. Less than a year later, the TV presenter married for the seventh time - Olga. In this marriage, he built a house in the Crimea.

In 2005, there was a fateful meeting with a Muscovite Masha. She already had a son Fedya from her first marriage. But this did not stop Dmitry from making an offer to Mary and going to the registry office for the eighth time.

“I just moored the boat to the shore - I have a rubber boat there. And Masha stood at that time on the shore, like Assol. In general, we reproduced a combination from Alexander Green with her, ”says Kiselev about meeting his wife.

In 2007, the couple had a son, Kostya, and three years later, a daughter, Varya. Now the whole family lives in the suburbs. The TV presenter built his house according to his own project, which took him many years.

The TV presenter's wife is a geography teacher in one specialty, and a psychologist in the second. She even practiced psychiatry for a while. Once, in an interview, Kiselev said that his second profession is his wife helping him in his work. “My wife is an active psychologist, she was engaged in psychiatry, and I picked up some things from her,” the TV presenter once admitted.

Now the 63-year-old TV presenter looks happy and satisfied with his family life. But who knows…

Photo from the site: novostivmire.com

Olympic champion in synchronized swimming - about children's sports, two daughters and New Year's performance on the water "Land of Dreams"

Maria Kiseleva, three-time Olympic champion in synchronized swimming (together with Olga Brusnikina), three-time world champion, nine-time European champion, is preparing for the upcoming Olympics in earnest, but already as a press secretary of the Olympic Committee. “In recent months, I have been to Sochi more often than in my entire life,” the athlete laughs. We talk with Maria in her office about choosing a sport for a child, early training - and raising daughters: 8-year-old Dasha and almost 4-year-old Sasha.

- Sochi is work, but where do you like to relax?

- It depends on the possibilities, the wishes of the children. The last time the girls and I went to Disneyland Paris - we got a few days off, we lived right in a hotel with access to the park. The eldest is not the first time, she really likes it. And the youngest was for the first time and was satisfied: she even swept on the hills, she was not afraid. We took pictures with Snow White, the Little Mermaid, of course - this is a must.

We also go to the sea, but there are no special places. The main thing is to be comfortable, clean, interesting - and have something and with whom to do. Most often, my daughters go to summer camps with my Synchronized Swimming School: at the same time they train and relax. Here is the youngest this summer and just learned to swim. They lived, of course, with their grandparents, but the eldest did everything together with everyone, with morning jogs, exercises.

- Not whimpering? Or don't you whimper at the mother-champion?

- Well, it's different. Endures.

- And what do you answer when you are naughty? In the fall, many parents sent their children to sports clubs, but the charm of novelty has passed ...

- We need to find out the nature of these whims: what they are connected with. Or the child does not like to work hard, or maybe there are some problems in the relationship. Maybe, indeed, not the kind of sport that the child needs - you need to analyze it. The main thing is that there is a combination of several factors, so that there is interest and a desire to engage in - then any difficulties can be handled. Even pain during stretch marks or even with some exercises, the child overcomes calmly. And if this is all under duress, and there is no data for this sport, and there is no desire, then it turns out to be a complete negative. This is a big psychological problem: parents need to take a closer look at the child, communicate with the coach and other specialists. But, of course, you need to understand that in any case, sport is work, and nothing will work without some effort.

While the children are small, everything should be in the form of a game: you need to somehow captivate the child. Our coaches have a complex approach: it happens, and they behave strictly, there are concessions.

- Did you always want to go to training as a child?

- I was a very addicted child: and in the section there are new friends, a new circle of interests. The first shift at the sports summer camp ended with the coach saying to the parents: "And your girl went to the south to rest." But then everything somehow changed - I just fell ill with synchronized swimming. There were no questions: when the training was scheduled, then I go, it hurts - and it hurts, it's hard - and it's hard. It happens, of course, that it is difficult to force yourself to go to training even for an adult. But you understand what it is for and why it is. But when I first started, it was different.

- You started training late by sports standards - at the age of 10.

- Yes, now everything starts much earlier, in synchronized swimming - from 5-6 years old.

- Sports often demanded sacrifices from study?

- I had a question about the transition to a sports school in the 7th grade (according to the new system, this is the 8th grade). And then it was not exactly a sports school, but a school with an in-depth study of music and choreography No. 1113. This allowed me to come to study after a morning workout, and then go to the evening.

- How to keep a capable teenager who is eager to quit sports because other interests appear?

- Here the moment of the child's enthusiasm is important, whether his eyes are burning, whether there is a prospect, the support of his parents - but again, understanding for what. It is worse when, on the contrary, the child has a desire, and the parents do not support him - then an imbalance arises. It is important for parents to understand the true aspirations of the child, to talk with professionals. And, of course, the coaching position is very important.

My parents also had a big dilemma - whether to transfer me from a regular school, where I was an excellent student, to one with double training. I really wanted to. They talked with the coach, and with the class teacher, the teachers at the school supported everything. When we won our first gold in Sydney in 2000, the class teacher called me and said that at that time, talking to her parents, she was sure that transferring to a sports school was the right decision.

- And the parents certainly do not repent of him?

No, of course not (laughs). But it was difficult for them: I always studied so well, and here is sports ... Although my parents are athletic themselves. Dad still rides three times a week in the morning, to play volleyball before work - all the time, no matter what happens, in any weather.

Weird dance in heels

Sports career - from 3 years to ... Where to start and how to finish?

- How can parents of a small child understand which sport to choose? What to look for?

- There are two factors: the desire of the child and the opinion of a specialist. The child should be attracted to something, carried away in a certain sport, and the coach should look and say his decision. Initially, by and large, you can do anything, but still has its own specifics - in rhythmic gymnastics, in wrestling, in power sports. For synchronized swimming, musicality, stretching, ligaments, coordination, and the head to work well are important.

- And all this can be seen in 3 years?

- Parents have different goals: someone leads for health, so that the child develops harmoniously, and someone immediately aims for a career, for big sport. But at this age it is impossible to say whether a champion will grow out of a child. Despite all the data, the main thing is hard work, hard work, hard work. And character. When you need to go, sometimes "on the teeth", endure. A lot should come together in one child, or rather, in the whole team: the coaching staff, parents - all together.

- Sometimes the coaches look at the child without enthusiasm, but the parents do not back down: they will bring him there, and they will show him here. It happens that a persistent mother pushes an average child to the podium?

Of course, the role of parents is very important. From them, and natural data in the first place, but, probably, in sports, the mother is the rear of the child: she will always caress, snuggle, accept, support, spur - if necessary. But the coach leads you along this sports path, and you need to trust him. A good coach is a good psychologist, he looks for an approach to each student. You need to find your key - and then the person will open. That's the coach grow stars.

A lot depends on the first coach, he instills a love for this sport - or vice versa. If the relationship does not work out, then that's it, the soul of the child does not already lie. And it happens that you understand that everything is thanks to the first coach, who made the first steps with you, opened this new world. And then there are professionals who hone, hone your skills - and lead to some kind of peak.

- But there are also broken destinies - when the champion never grew up, although high hopes were placed.

- The most difficult moment for an athlete is when he ends his career and plunges into a "worldly", ordinary life. The world opens - 360 degrees view. What to do? Where to go? For me, the most difficult thing was to learn how to make a decision - you are led by a coach: you know that you have so many training camps in a year, so many competitions. And then you finished - go wherever you want, go there, whatever goal you want - set that one. I left the sport twice, and the second time was, of course, easier - there was already an established path, I knew what to do.

Previously, rarely any of the athletes thought what would happen next. Different kinds of sports "end" at different times: in artistic and rhythmic gymnastics, girls end their careers very early, very young. And football, hockey are played until they are quite mature, in equestrian sports, in general, you can “stay on horseback” for a long time.

And when you are already an older athlete, and half your life has passed, and you need to start all over again - it's hard psychologically. But now almost all athletes - there is a lot of talk about this, and all sorts of help is being provided - are thinking about what they will do after the end of their careers. Someone studies in parallel with training, someone gets a profession, tries to try himself somewhere. From this now there are fewer tragedies. After all, a sports career can end at the most unexpected moment - and there must be some kind of "airbag".

- You went to get a journalistic education.

- Prompted by synchronized swimming. I was very offended that our species is not very popular, little has been written about it, little has been told in our country. And I decided: maybe I can somehow tell people? This is how synchronized swimming led me to the Faculty of Journalism of Moscow State University. I studied in absentia, of course: when there are fees for 11 months a year, to study in some other way is to deceive yourself and others.

Children's leisure: sports, theater, museums - and "Christmas Trees on the Water"

- Who helps you with the children?

- We have a nanny, we found Nadia through friends. In general, of course, grandparents help a lot: someone with the older one, someone with the younger one, fed him, drove him. My parents are almost living with us now – I don’t know how we would have coped without them. I quickly went to work with both daughters: with the eldest - when she was six months old, I went to the Olympics in Turin to work, and with the youngest - at 4 months old.

What are your daughters interested in?

Dasha is now in the third grade. Since we live outside the city, she goes to a private school. She studies the language every day, she really likes it: she chats, tells tongue twisters. She is also fond of batik - she draws on silk, such interesting works come out. As I said, she is engaged in synchronized swimming, she has the data, but it is difficult for me to set any goals. I want my daughter to take everything possible from sports: willpower, character, the ability to achieve some goal, the ability to give up the secondary for the sake of the main thing.

- But now children have more temptations - that which draws attention away from the main thing.

- No, it seems so. We also wanted to play, take a walk, play tricks. Sport, in my opinion, tempers this quality - the ability to give up what hinders you. It helps a lot later in life, in any profession, in any business.

Even Dasha at school goes to theater classes - for the third year, they go with performances to various competitions. She succeeds. And in our New Year's performances "Christmas Trees on the Water" my daughter plays one of the main roles: both this year and this year. She is looking forward to it!

This year we started going to museums on weekends for lectures: the Tretyakov Gallery, Pushkin. I went by myself and I loved it. She writes everything in a notebook, listens carefully.

The youngest started drawing this year - and she draws some crazy pictures, we didn’t even hang them on the wall of the house. I can't draw like that at 39! And she goes to tennis with us. And it happened by accident. The tennis coach saw her and said: come on, show the girl, she is just an electric broom! (Laughs). She really is so funny - and now both are happy: both the coach and the child.

Where are you going for New Years?

- In recent years, I have not gone anywhere - we have performances. This year in three cities: Moscow, St. Petersburg and Kazan. In St. Petersburg we will take "Through the Looking Glass" that was shown in Moscow last New Year, in Kazan there will be "The Little Mermaid" - in the Palace of Water Sports, which opened for the Universiade. In Moscow, a new play "Land of Dreams" is a journey through the dreams that we see in childhood.

The youngest daughter went to the show twice last year: at the premiere, she gave flowers to her sister and the closure sat from beginning to end, with her mouth open. But she was very small, she was only 3 years old then.

Mom and daughter backstage

- How much do you take part in the production of the show?

— I delve into everything. It so happened that we discuss the idea with our permanent director Alexei Malykhin, then the costume designer, decorator, author of poems, composer and many others join in.

Everything that I did in my life - sports, television, filming, and performances - gave me pleasure. This is important: do what you really like. And when you just sit out the prescribed hours or work off: swim, jump and go home - this is immediately visible, and there will be no result. We don't have a long life to waste it like that. At our performances, the artists work with pleasure - and this is transmitted to the audience!

Discussion

And why not a word about her husband? She is one?

When I see and read about such families it is very joyful!!! It's so good that at least someone gets it right. I really like Maria Kiseleva both as an athlete and as a woman.

Comment on the article "Maria Kiseleva:" "Sport teaches the ability to give up what hinders you"""

Discussion

The government personally stole a million rubles from me. Pension * 12 months * 5 years = one million rubles. Why? They just blatantly stole it. I would use it. Find a place to put it. To work or not to work after 55 is my own business. I may not work now. The government also stole a million rubles from my husband. And maybe even life. Everything else is lyrics and distraction from the main thing.

Yes, it is unpleasant, but, unfortunately, there are no other options.

Maria Kiseleva: "We do not hide anything from our children." Maria Kiseleva, three-time Olympic champion in synchronized swimming, one of the most popular TV presenters...

Discussion

Center South, metro station Nakhimovsky pr.

Center "Education in Development" metro station "Krasnopresnenskaya". 2 years ago we visited the neuropsychologist Maria Shapiro. The consultation lasted 2 hours - 1 hour with the child and an hour with me. Before that, a questionnaire for the child is sent by e-mail, which must be filled out. And also bring notebooks (if a student).
Based on the results of the consultation, recommendations are given and, if necessary, they sign up for classes with their specialists. We were told what to do next.
We were brought to this center by the mother of a classmate. They worked with a psychologist there for 2 years before school (the child had attention deficit disorder). They helped a lot.

Psychologist (Moscow). Psychological and pedagogical aspects. Adoption. Discussion of adoption issues, forms of placement of children in families, raising foster children, interaction with ...

Discussion

You can sign up for a free appointment with Maria Kapilina (child psychologist).
If you would like to attend a face-to-face consultation, you must first make an appointment by calling 8-985-999-4945.
Maria Kapilina consults on Thursdays and Tuesdays from 14:00 to 20:00, at Leningradsky Prospect, 31 building 3, metro station Dynamo

Discussion

And I support you! I completely agree with your point of view in the dispute with Alex. She herself wanted to express the same thing to him, but she was able to go to the Internet only today. And, as far as I noticed, many support you. So don't worry, you are right. And as for Alex .... I can not stand the manifestations of male chauvinism, which is what emanates from a bunch of messages from this individual (for whom a woman is a chicken or a hare, who is not supposed to know anything, etc.). In general, it would be interesting to understand - but he asked his wife if she likes being a housekeeper, or is she still interested in something in life, except for someone's dirty socks ??? Apparently, he didn’t ask, he washes, and thanks. How else to understand his own topic about "why talk about work." I remember that a friend said in the sense that a wife is like a hare, who, in principle, can also be told about her work, only "does the hare need this?" In general, Alex's wife may be happy, according to Alex's supporter Hal, but in my opinion she herself was not asked this .....

What happened?

panthenol for children with sunburn. Maria Kiseleva is a psychologist.

The wife of the main propagandist Dmitry Kiselev, Maria, is the same psychologist as the propagandist Kiselev is a journalist. It's a pity for the people who work under him at RIA Rossiya Segodnya. However, this is how we do it. To put athletes like Tina Kandelaki in charge of the sports editorial office for special talents and merits. She does not understand the issue at all, and professionals moan from her incompetence and run away from Match TV. Or manage a large-scale production of a philologist. The same story with Dmitry Kiselev and his wife - a typical housewife. Two educations (the person was looking for himself), the first economic, study abroad, return (did not find). Marriage, a second marriage with a short and bald, but wealthy, gentleman.

Maria Kiseleva wrote a heartfelt post, from which it becomes clear that she considers Russians a flock of sheep that need to be guided in this life. And she herself is apparently very smart. Because she is the eighth (!) wife of Kiselev and lives very well in his country mansion in a Scandinavian house. In short, I have been successful in my life. And now he can judge others.

Kiselev stole Maria from a poor and too honest husband, an idealist. He was once found by journalists. Lies do not know how to earn. Unable to make a career. Who needs this? Whether it's Kiselev and his millions.

And so a girl (she is in her early 40s) says: “Raising the retirement age in Russia is “beneficial for everyone.” Oh, how much I have heard in my life. let prices go down. It's to our advantage to drop the ruble. It's to our advantage now to raise pensions. Who benefits? Kiselyov's wife? Other wives?

For a resident of Russia, says Madame, "pension has a deep psychological meaning." "Often this is the right to relieve oneself of responsibility for one's life, and for some - the right to be offended, dissatisfied. A natural question arises:" Offended by what and whom? Few people are ready to admit that a person created the result of his own life by retirement, even fewer people will agree that this result is not final, that there is still time ahead, which means that something can be corrected, even when you… even when you're retired."

In principle, it would be possible not to read further. The psychologist carries a terrible heresy, reporting that the absence of a pension will encourage Russians to maintain their health, and it becomes a pity for her patients.

I really want that Dmitry Kiselev married a young girl for the ninth time. And he said goodbye to Maria Kiseleva. So that she understands why she has such a successful career. Thanks to whom she considers herself successful. And let him live on one pension. It would be nice to have a few more chronic diseases, like most Russians, and who are not to blame for them, in her piggy bank. To spend on medicines, like many of her peers. Sometimes ten a month. Who's lucky. Or rather, no luck. And let's see how she will then talk about pensions, which most Russian men who do not live to 65 do not shine at all.

The psychological studio of Maria Kiseleva offers its clients various programs and techniques that will help overcome crises that arise in life. Maria Kiseleva is a leading specialist of the center, candidate of psychological sciences, author of scientific papers on psychology. She works with patients suffering from particularly severe forms of somatic diseases, requiring the utmost attention and care. It provides comprehensive support to people with oncological, cardiological and endocrine diseases. Helps recover patients who have had a stroke and severe injuries. The center employs only certified specialists who have been trained according to the international standard, with vast experience, able to find a way out of almost any life situation. Meetings with a psychologist are held in an atmosphere of strict confidentiality, conducive to confidential communication. Here we will try to find the root cause of the problem. The center practices an individual approach to absolutely every patient, regardless of age and social status. The center regularly hosts psychological trainings, therapeutic sessions, group and family therapy, and coaching studios.