beautiful blonde was sitting next to Borea when I entered the room. Since Borya in appearance (but, unfortunately, not in bed) is not a competitor to me, the first thing I asked him, taking him aside, was he with her and, of course, would he mind ... I was lucky - Borya with he hasn't been to her yet, but he doesn't seem to care, he can wait. I don’t remember how I rejuvenated her, but that same evening we, three couples, lay down in the same room, on different beds. The sleeping quarters were covered with curtains. Vitya was lying with Kenya, Borya with Tanya, I was with the new blonde. The beginning was good - she began to do “miracles” with her tongue, licking me from head to toe. A couple of minutes after we lay down (so that the creaking of beds and different sighs did not hurt the hearing of neighboring couples, music was playing) I made an attempt to "invasion" - first I felt the entrance with my fingers and felt something: I took out someone's full of smelly sperm condom! The excitement vanished. Confused, I raised the condom in front of her nose and asked
- what is this? (and abruptly threw the condom on the floor)
- I don’t know, yesterday I watched the video and fell asleep (and blushed thickly)
I quickly jumped up (I finally realized what I had taken out of there), and dressed, went to the washstand. She got dressed and ran after me. Someone, Borya or Vitya, jokingly shouted - Why are you so fast? I wanted to immediately tell how she stopped me and asked me to be silent and not tell anyone (so I listened to her ... while she was washing, I told everyone everything and asked not to laugh). We went to the washbasin, I washed my hands and led her into the shower. I went into the room, and from a laugh that was hard to contain, she guessed that I had let it slip. No matter what, we slept with her, and in the morning she disappeared.
To Natasha friend arrived. Pretty. I just went to spend the night (usually I slept there with Natasha's neighbor, Tanya, just like that, without full contact) and, seeing my girlfriend lying freely, lay down next to me (without saying hello or name ...). At night, she did not resist for a long time (more precisely, she did not resist at all), and in the morning we finally met - it turned out that her name was Valya, she came to have an abortion. Once an abortion, then an abortion, I said, and as I was leaving I asked Valya to come back when she wants, i.e. when it heals. Strange, it healed up in a couple of days. Apparently I really wanted to. But personally, I was busy, and I lost interest. And my friend, Sasha, immediately agreed. In the morning - everything is in his blood, the whole bed is in blood (and I didn’t tell him that I was with her - why spoil relations and impressions). Long story short, I thought it was a girl. And he was too shy to ask. I told him that she had an abortion two days ago, and probably not the first.
Larisa. I wanted to go to the village to a friend, I was waiting for the bus. She stood beside him and waited. The bus didn't show up, but word by word we went to the hostel... I've never seen such a monster in sex. We did not sleep all night or, on the contrary, slept 7-8 times. In the morning, she said that for the first time she was tired of sex in her life (at 17 years old?). I understand that this is a compliment. During the week spent with her, I finished as many times as in the next 5 years of my life. She told about her life - she began to masturbate at the age of 13, if she doesn’t masturbate at least three times a day, she feels bad, at 15 she was raped by a neighbor, to whom she just went up to drink a cup of coffee, except for sex she is not interested in anything, she never cooked eat, never cleaned. The fact that she does not know how to cook manifested itself immediately - she ruined my scrambled eggs. The mess in her apartment was also surprising - you can only move with long steps, stepping over piles of garbage and unnecessary things ... Once we had a rest visiting Sasha and his girlfriend. Got drunk. Larisa put forward an ultimatum - either I'm leaving or Jeanne (Sasha's friend) will go to the shower with her to make love. Zhanna (a devout girl, a Catholic) was in such a state that she took this news as a joke and we persuaded her to take a shower with Larisa. The girls are gone. After some time, Larisa flies in, out of her mind, to the questions where Zhanna is, she answers that she doesn’t know where this fool is ... she ran away from her, no one knows where ... Larisa falls on the bed and falls asleep. We go to look for Zhanna and find her in one of the corridors of the hostel, all in tears and cowardly, it is not clear why. They listened - Larisa, as soon as they went into the shower (there was a common shower in the hostel, it was lucky that there was no one at the moment when they came in), closed the common shower doors and attacked Zhanna - started tearing her underwear, kissing between her legs, moaning ... and Jeanne, of course, resisted. Here, too, the girls began to knock on the door - why did they close there? Zhanna escaped, opened the door and ran away... Zhanna was calmed down and returned to the room. I went to Larisa, who was sleeping with a show off, and there was “little space” for me - a drunken nymph bit and scratched during sex (it can be seen from anger that Zhanna did not work out) and haunted me all night ...
Young accelerator. A girl of 16 years old came to a mutual friend, her height and weight are higher than usual ... She is pretty, she is studying to be a cook at a school ... We drank together and Borya arranged a separate room for me to spend the night with her. Everything would be fine, but the girl seemed to fall in love and after the first night she wanted a second, third ... But I had to go on a business trip for a few days, so we broke up. In a few days I arrive, she is waiting for me like (as if in love). None of my friends says anything to me, but I, naive, think that everything is in order and spend the night with her as usual ... The next day she leaves home, says that she will arrive soon, but I already feel something is wrong ... Something else came through three days, when the “faucet dripped” and the underpants began to get dirty. I had gonorrhea for the first time, I cured it on my own, consulting with friends. I learned that during the period of my departure, there was a queue for the “supposedly in love accelerator” - Borya, Sasha “Borzoy”, Armenians and others (I don’t know others) Everyone, except Borya, fell ill. They fell ill from one of the people on the waiting list (like from the Armenian, who was also infected by someone and did not recover). She, of course, never came back.
Lily. The masculine character, beautiful, strong, “kept” almost the entire hostel at bay. We drank together a couple of times, but the opportunity to get to know each other better came when she quarreled with her friend - she herself called me to her place. I didn’t have to hint for a long time - if I liked the girl, then I showed activity myself. The marathon, which she demanded for complete satisfaction, I could not stand, so in bed we did not fit each other. Once again, she made peace with her friend (alfonso, a drunkard, was in her care) and we remained good friends. Subsequently, she married my classmate, a roommate in an institute hostel. She had a beautiful friend, I don’t remember her name, but according to her stories, she loved men very much. In absentia, she introduced us a long time ago. One evening, she brings this friend, and I bring my friend (who later married Lila) and we have no choice but to lie in pairs in the same room to the sounds of Dr. Alban (popular music at that time). Yes, men in the life of that friend occupy not the last place ... Not even a few seconds had passed after we lay down, as we had already begun the “jumps” - waiting until the neighboring couple fell asleep, the girlfriend would not have had the patience ... It’s a pity that the case, not brought me together with this friend again - perhaps in a separate room I would be more liberated ...
Nurse. Borya met them on the street, during a city holiday (Kyiv Day). He introduced me to a nurse, my name is Irina. We walked, agreed to meet in a couple of days near the metro. I drove up on a motorcycle (I had Java then). She had just finished her daily duty and really wanted to sleep. With the condition not to pester, I took her to my dorm to rest (sleep). I did not fulfill the condition - the resistance was active and I remember the fact that the resistance activity turned into an active offensive as soon as I touched the clitoris with my finger. Like I pressed a button! After the first contact, she changed her mind just to rest, smoked, told me a story that I was her second (and why do girls tell this? I never ask, but I listen to these revelations from every second - they probably justify not virginity) Then we again fell asleep and broke up. Oddly, she didn't leave an address or phone number... and never showed up again.
Vika. This girl loves to fuck, knows how to fuck, literally her whole life is to fuck! She “made” me in the bathroom, then in bed, then in the country ... We made love under the covers, while she was smoking and talking with friends who came in at the wrong time, through the open door! They didn’t even notice - we thought we were just lying (I pretended to be sleeping) We didn’t agree on the time of the process - she needs a marathon, at least two hours and right away, in the very first episode! In the first series, I can’t even take five minutes, and I’m reluctant to go to the second or third with an already “former” girlfriend.
Youngsters. I was lying in a room with three girls, i.e. I lay with one, the other two lay on adjacent beds. It was about one in the morning. Borya came in and asked me to help unload the car, which allegedly came with some kind of goods and urgently needed to be unloaded ... It turned out that this was just a false excuse to get me out of the hostel - on the street he said that two underage girls were waiting for us at his friend's apartment . With the one that will be with me, no one has yet been (-clean, he checked it himself-, to himself, Borya probably thought then). We went to the apartment, the girls (14 years old) were lying and watching porn videos. I silently lay down with mine (without saying a word - I already had such an experience once), having settled down behind, did my job (under the covers) and fell asleep. In the morning I woke up before everyone else, and after saying goodbye to Borey, he went about his business. I never saw those girls again, but I remember this incident because I caught the gonorrhea again. This time the treatment was more painful - without testing, I recovered on my own, but as it turned out, I simply healed the disease. A few months later, for no apparent reason (I didn’t sleep with anyone at that time without a condom), I started to leak again. He passed the tests, received a prescription and was cured with more potent antibiotics ... Borya was ill with gonorrhea (and not only) chronically, so these diseases did not cling to him ...
Mandavoshki and scabies. Half of the dorms itched, at first it was scabies, then the lice began to find ... It's nonsense that mandavoshki are transmitted only sexually - my friend Sasha and I picked them up then for no "apparent reason" - we didn’t sleep with anyone (this sometimes happened, there were no suitable girls), and pubic lice were picked up ... I also transferred scabies to my student hostel, infecting all my neighbors and friends. Everyone was satisfied - firstly, they gained experience, secondly, a two-hour hour before bedtime very much calmed the nerves and distracted from insomnia. They were treated for scabies with sulfuric ointment. From mandavoshki - shaving on the head and kerosene.
Borya. Walking sex, but no brains. A person of Caucasian nationality (like me). Sleeps with everything that moves - with beautiful girls, with ugly girls, with beautiful and ugly boys (blue). From the age of 15 in prison, diagnosed with kleptomania, car theft. At 30 he was released and ended up in Kyiv, to his brother. In the same place, in Kyiv, I accidentally “stumbled upon” this hostel of the Kyiv shoe factory. And pulled me...
I have a friend, a retired colonel.
And he tells funny stories at times.
I'm not the author. For what I bought, for that I told.
This terrible story happened last year. It was a beautiful day, and we celebrated the next birthday of our friend and, as usual with good people, got drunk in zyuzyu. And, of course, who, where was in what position, remained there. :*)
The hero of the occasion himself was lying on an armchair in a state of blissfully contemplating the ceiling, with his legs slightly apart (sorry).
In the morning, after a partial awakening of some of the participants in yesterday's feast, one of our acquaintances wandered around the kitchen in search of something so ... cool and liquid. :)
And found. Nearly.
In the refrigerator, somehow not very cold, I must tell you, and not very liquid CHICKEN was preserved.
There was nothing else there, and a thirsty friend decided to give another gift to the hero of the occasion and at the same time for the next holiday on April 1. :)
After some manipulations with the chicken, it turned out to be: 1 - the temperature of the human body and the same color with a bluish tint. 2 - without a body. That is one head.
After these operations, he quietly entered the room with the hero of the occasion, ti-i-i-iho unbuttoned his fly (lieutenant, how dare you?!?) and a-a-carefully placed this head so that it, kh-kh , replaced, so to speak, to him his manhood.
It should be noted that the neck of this head looked almost perfect right up to the very head, in general, the view turned out amazing - futuristic!
Satisfied with his joke, the comrade left to continue looking for something. Cold.
Some time passed, part of the people already laughed at our friend's joke and peacefully drank mineral water with him in the kitchen.
And then there was just an INHUMAN shriek! Choking on mineral water, the people briskly ran into the room where the hero of the occasion was sleeping.
And now the oil painting: just ... EATING hero of the occasion, continuing to lie in the same position, only with his head looking THERE, and the whole crowd at the door is watching the local BLACK cat eat ... well, in general, sitting on knees of his master. And the head itself is no longer visible ...
Imagine the feelings of a person after a heavy drinking bout, who DOES NOT FEEL how he is chewing the most expensive .... :)))
***
It was in the winter of 1994 or 1995, I don't remember exactly.
My friend from the new Russians of the middle hand sent his wife and children to Greece for a couple of months, but he, of course, broke away from the soul, began to take women home, did not disdain and tangles, in general, he didn’t spend time sickly.
Well, he was protected, of course, one misfortune of the prezery, without hesitation, he threw it out the window.
In short, the wife returned and so in April, when the snow melted, she planted flowers under the window and found a cemetery of condoms.
I must say that they lived on the third floor of a five-story building, the first two were occupied by his own office, and elderly couples lived on the 4th and 5th.
The saving thought came suddenly - he squinted at the homeless from the attic, who, of course, were not in sight there due to his own efforts.
In general, he had to hire homeless people - a homeless person and a homeless woman. Behind Bukhalovo, they climbed into the attic every day and threw condoms from there, and so for a whole month.
Well, as a result, the wife shavala, although a bum with a condom, you yourself understand this, approximately like a nun in a brothel.
***
Somehow our whole company gathered about the arrival of one of the guys from abroad. business trips. I must say in advance that he was abroad for the first time and brought several sex toys as a souvenir, which he demonstrated to us. One of these toys was an artificial penis, well, very reminiscent of a real one.
Well, then, as expected, everyone got drunk to death. And at night, when our ranks began to line up, we decided to play a trick on the business trip. And looking around, they found the same member, orphanedly thrown on the table. The guys unzipped the businessman's fly and put this work of art in there. Ten minutes later, our friend woke up and went to the toilet, and a minute later there was a heart-rending scream.
Further from the words of the victim. He went into the toilet, unzipped his fly, took out the device and began to relieve himself, but the catch is that nothing flows from there, but something warm runs down his legs ?! Well, he decided to shake his friend a little and he ended up in his hand. And at that moment, his drunken consciousness painted a heartbreaking picture: as if he had torn off his dignity, and the warm thing that runs down his legs is blood! This is where he screamed. Well, we all ended up rushing to help, but when we saw a friend with a dick in his hand and wet pants, with a look of horror on his face, we just fell to the floor from laughter.
Yes, to the honor of our friend, it must be said that he was not offended by us. I was very glad that I didn’t tear anything off and everything was intact. Here is such a story.
***
The beginning of the story is, in fact, traditional: we DRINK. Slowly they sipped the daily holiday norm until the weakest in spirit began to butt the table in a fit of irrepressible drowsiness. The rest famously dealt with the remnants of booze and snacks, cleared the table and began to arrange bainki. A friend who fell asleep prematurely was "rewarded" with the fact that instead of a bed he got a table - cleared of dishes, swill and food (well, maybe not completely cleaned :-). The poor fellow was laid on it.
The rest dispersed to their rooms, and the feast subsided, as expected, until the morning. But it wasn’t there: in the middle of the night, a terrible scream wakes us up from the bed, in which there was so much horror, hopelessness and (most importantly) decibels that no one managed to make a peacefully sleeping look. Well, having opened the slits of our eyes and with someone's mother we stomp on the source of a nightmare, turn on the light ... And we see our Kostya, who is sitting in the center of the table, curled up in a ball and obviously trying to occupy the smallest possible area on the table. His complexion did not look alive even against the background of a snow-white (almost) tablecloth.
Looking at such an elf, few people, the stump is clear, will believe that it was he who yelled SO much a minute ago that he raised five, if not dead, but drunk to an almost half-dead state of people in the middle of the night. Well, anyway, such a rampage requires an explanation, so we were not too lazy to ask Kostya in detail.
And Kostya, it turns out, froze at night (which is not surprising, after all, they blurted him out like a dead man on the table, but somehow they didn’t think to cover him with a blanket). Freezing, he began to gradually become aware of himself in time and space and realized that he was lying in absolute darkness on a hard cold FLOOR (how could he know about the table!). Konstantin fumbled on the FLOOR with his hand to move somewhere warmer ... and gropes for FAILURE.
Quickly making sure that the failure surrounds him on all sides and his hand cannot reach the bottom, the night climber began to understand that he was alone on this patch of firmament, and of all the tools he had only a fork. He decided to sacrifice the fork in order to find out how high he was above the surrounding area. The fork thrown down CLUTCHED TO THE TABLECLOTH... And after 7 seconds Kostya heard a soft sound of falling 8-
It was then that a cry was heard that woke us up.
***
I don’t remember where it happened (some small provincial town), but I vouch for its authenticity. So, two friends, having drunk properly in good company, returned home late in the evening. And their path lay past the city park. And now they wanted to ride on the carousel. No sooner said than done. We went into the park, found a carousel (you know, where the chairs are suspended on chains), found the lever that starts this carousel and began to argue who was the first. They argued and argued, finally, one of them came up with a brilliant idea: "Come on, he says, let's tie a rope to this lever, sit on the carousel, pull the rope and go." To their misfortune, they found the rope... What happened next, probably, many have already imagined.
.............
In the morning, a carousel driver who came to work took them off, completely exhausted and without shoes (they tried to get into this very lever on the fly). They also screamed, but no one heard them in the dead of night......
In the rest home, one plain-looking man pestered a luxurious lady for a long time for an intimate relationship. She only mocked him, they say, with your talents ... Then the peasant argued with her that he would be able to fuck her twenty times in a row. The only condition is that everything must take place in complete darkness and after each time he must go to wash. The stake was a car, and the woman agreed. Night fell, and the man set to work... Once, a second, a third... after the seventeenth time, the woman could not stand it and prayed:
- All! I lost! I can't take it anymore, turn on the light!
The light came on, and she saw in front of her a completely unfamiliar hefty man.
- Who are you!? she screamed. - What are you doing here? Where's the little, cuddly one?
- And, this, probably, is that massovik-entertainer? So he sells tickets at the entrance ... We were sitting at a lecture somehow, and one girl came in a knitted
sweater, which, with a very large approximation, looked like
on the dress. Well, of course, the male half is not up to
lecturer ... This continues for almost the entire
couples until this girl is loud-loud (and not fake)
shouts to the whole audience:
- Oh, I forgot to wear a skirt!
This is where the hysteria starts. Lecturer (he's also a man)
I had to stop the couple 15 minutes before the end (of the couple) ...
My friend Andrei has been filming in the series for half a year, but yesterday and today he disrupted the filming for people. Got sick. The doctor said that for another three or four days there could be no question of any filming.
Well, wait, they're not going anywhere.
Andrei, although a couple of years younger than me, has recently begun to actively go gray and worry a lot about this, as a result - a pronounced midlife crisis, and the crisis must somehow be dealt with.
Andrey's way of fighting is simple: the more women he "spuds" per unit of time, the stronger his aging male bunker will be.
Andryukha went into all serious trouble: today one, tomorrow another, plus yesterday's one, plus acquaintance with the fourth - a potential day after tomorrow ...
He himself is already sausage from this loading and unloading logistics, but what to do? "Gray in a beard - do not say that it is not hefty."
Fortunately, at least many people recognize him, otherwise he looks like a maniac - a computer scientist who lives with his mother and cooks stew out of people ... (if only he didn’t read this ...)
“But even D'Artagnan has a hole in it ...”
Yesterday, our Andrey ran to visit one languid forty-year-old beauty: condoms in her hands, and expensive champagne in the pocket of her trousers (maybe vice versa, I personally don’t know how it happens, I’m married ...) Light frost, mood pre-start, and at the entrance are two cool girls - 18 years old, but one of those who already have a huge gap with tenth graders ...
Andrei turned on the face in which he could be more easily recognized and recognized.
He met, especially with Alla, treated him to cigarettes, gave him a lighter,
wrote down Allin's phone and entered the entrance, it's a pity that an hour and a half is not rubber, otherwise he would have chatted with the girls.
On that day, Andrei had an ideal husband, that is, the husband of that sultry woman, was ideal for Andrei, because he worked as a bus driver, which reaches Rostov.
Well, isn't it ideal?
I rang the doorbell, opened it, a sultry beauty, and Andrei from the threshold theatrically wailed:
- My God, what a beauty, I missed you so much, forgive the asshole, I couldn’t do it yesterday !!!
Everything happened suddenly. Suddenly, a bass sounded from the bath:
- What the hell!!!? Who is that!!!?
Suddenly, some basins rattled and the bathroom door opened. The bass growl became much closer to the corridor and louder.
Andrei did not wait for their eyes to meet like a cowboy with a sheriff, but rushed down the stairs.
The husband in one towel, also rushed in pursuit, his backlog from the leader was shrinking and there were no more than two spans.
Andrey understood that if the husband breaks out of the entrance to the operational space, then there is no escape from him.
It was necessary for the bunny to confuse the trail and outwit the fox.
Andrey jumped out of the door to the street, stumbled upon Alla who gasped and quickly spoke: Alla, help me out, it's a matter of life and death!
With these words, he hugged her and began to kiss her passionately ... Just like
D'Artagnan beauty Kat.
At the same moment, Cardinal's guard jumped out of the iron doors of the entrance.
- husband, but without a towel.
Andrei continued to kiss the girl, he knew that the naked bus driver did not have time to see him during the chase.
It only remained to say as calmly as possible: “If you are for a peasant, then he ran for the house ...”
But suddenly Alla pushed off from Andrey and the last thing my friend heard before turning off the light in the body were the words of the girl:
- Dad, I see this guy for the first time in my life!!!
There was trouble with the jaw, it was removed from the hinges, and the nose got it, but it would seem - just one blow.
It’s good that dad was naked, froze and dragged his daughter into the porch, without fully figuring out what was what, otherwise the second blow would have been implied there no worse than the first ...
Well, thank God, everything worked out, so another three or four days and you can
shoot further.
lust, a bitten lip and drops of sweat testified to passion,
boiling somewhere under the clothes. She clasped him with both arms, strong
fingers groped for that, the only position. He lay softly in her palms,
arching and trembling. She caught the right moment and started moving
speeding up and adjusting to his rhythm, but not letting him slip out of
hands, controlling and confidently directing his intentions. With every moment
approaching climax, her face became more and more determined: "Yes, yes,
Well, one more time, one more time..." And at that one, right moment, she managed to
cope with it - with a confident movement, directing it to the intended
his place. He, engulfed by strong arms, securely fixed himself and,
Yielding elastically, he took over her soaring, arching body. Both
for a fraction of a moment froze at the highest point of the trajectory of their joint
flight. And she, having used it, having received everything she could take, let go
him, still tense, not completely finished his movement, but
no longer needed, useless, become a burden. And feeling your
freedom, he straightened up, giving himself to her without a trace, humbly accepted
loneliness that suddenly fell on him, and fell, slowly, but
inevitably.
She, still under his influence, continued to move, but already
relaxing, throwing off the monstrous tension of foreplay and just
ended with him intercourse. In this state, her body took a bed, and
everything in it spoke of the greatest pleasure from what had happened.
The women's pole vault record was broken.
Links
I am 22 years old, work, girl, appearance is all right. One evening I took a bath in the shower. Suddenly, I felt a rattle and rustle under my feet, looked under my feet and almost fainted - a hefty gray RAT fell into the bath! As it turned out, there was a hole in the floor under the bathroom, and I live on the 1st floor, and this creature climbed out of the basement. I started flying out of the bath with screams, tore off the curtain with a stick and flew upside down to the floor, a head injury, loss of consciousness. I woke up in the hospital, my parents took me. As a result, I have psychological disorders, constant headaches, nightmares, because of which I do not get enough sleep, a phobia of rats, I am afraid to go into the bathroom, not to mention washing in the shower and ... impotence ... I'm going crazy, kill!(((
got a job. before the first working day, I decided to quickly go to throw out the garbage, stumbled on the stairs, fell and put my head on the concrete steps. I lay on the stairs for about an hour until the neighbors found me and called an ambulance. hospital, concussion, everything. I lay there almost unconscious for a couple of days, I managed to call work only after 3 days, and they said that I had already been fired, since I didn’t show up when I needed to. I haven't paid for the apartment for several months, at first there was no work, now I had to give the last money to the doctors. the hostess kicks you out - either pay for 4 months at once, or move out. I have nowhere to go, my parents are in another city, and already retired, they cannot help financially. it is inconvenient and pointless to ask acquaintances, even if they help, then only on loan, and when it will turn out to be unknown. while I'm looking for a job, if by the end of the month I don't find it, I'll have to be homeless.
My wife gave birth yesterday. Boy. Healthy. 3700 grams, 56 cm. NEGR.
I would believe in the wonders of genetics if my wife's work, where she constantly "lingered", was not a two-minute walk from the hostel of RUDN University.
I was returning home from my friend's birthday in the evening. I called the young man to meet him (go past the construction site, it's dark and scary there). He said he was watching a movie and refused to go. When I was walking through a wasteland near a construction site, a drunken man attacked me, took my bag and almost raped me. I don't remember how I got off.
She came home, dirty, crying, she could not speak coherently from fear. The young man said that since I got so drunk that I was covered in mud and lost my bag, I can go where I came from and kicked me out of the house. I spent the night at the police station, where I wrote a statement. thanks to the cops - they gave hot tea and tried to calm me down.
Now my m.ch. does not believe that I was attacked and I was in the police. decided that I have a lover. He changed the locks in the apartment, does not give things away. I was actually on the street.
Shoot me please, I don't know what to do
I had three joys in life: my job, my woman and my friend. Today I was fired, I came home early and found my woman with a friend in our bed.
Two years ago: a man, an adult, wrote to me on a dating site. Somehow we got into a conversation, and he offered to "buy" my virginity. I was 17 then, I was disappointed in another jerk and thought: "why not?" We met, slept, I received a rather large sum of money. He tried to meet again, but I was disgusted even to see his name on the phone display and I ignored him.
Now: I've been dating an amazing boy for 4 months - smart, pretty, in love with me, financially secure. It came down to meeting the parents. His dad is the guy I slept with then. Damn, it’s okay to sleep, I also took the money! We sat at the table, and his dad stared blankly at me. Damn, how embarrassing I was ... I haven’t answered this boy’s calls for the second day, because I’m scared to look into his eyes - what if dad told him everything?
My mother is a prostitute. I love her and have learned over the years to accept her choices. That's how life developed, and then it just "was drawn in." Everything was fine at school and college. But when I went to work at the plant, it turned out that many people know my mother "closely" - we have a small town. I would endure the chuckles and sidelong glances of women, but the men pester me. I look like my mother (almost a copy), but I'm not like that! I don’t wear skirts, tights, heels on purpose, I don’t use makeup, I behave very modestly and quietly. But no - every second one makes hints that "he does not mind", and not only hints - to drag him into the back room to cuddle - this is no longer surprising. I fought back, tried to explain calmly, swore, threatened that I would tell my wives. I always hear in response "an apple does not fall far from an apple tree" and "what does it cost you, you are almost like a mother." There is no money to move to another place.
I am 20 years old, I earn 30 thousand a month on a piece of paper, I get 24 thousand at best, of which at least 15-20 are taken by my parents for my accommodation, I work 6 days a week + I work as a freelancer, the income is not big, but at least something if my parents find out 70% take it off, don't eat at home, just sleep and take a shower. I pay for the Internet from my own money (unlim 1000r per month). When my parents are not in Moscow (this often happens), I pay for my grandmother's medicines myself. Institute (40 per year) - herself. I cook, I keep the apartment in order.
The question is, why, if I am already on the verge of hysteria, clinging my hands to the last thousand in my wallet, they tell me that I am an ungrateful creature and will not buy a piece of bread for my parents in old age? Why ask if I have a personal life when they themselves see that under such a slave regime I have no time?!
With my money, they have already gone abroad 4 times, and on my 2-week vacation (For the WHOLE year) I am sitting in smoky Moscow
I work for a foreign company. 2 weeks ago, Something came to us. They are called by the name of an incomprehensible gender. For a week, the whole department thought about what gender it was. he looks about 20 years old. and it is not clear whether a feminine guy or a rude girl. walks in sneakers, in the ears of carnations. emo hairstyle.
At a corporate party, under the influence of cocktails, a "brilliant" and "logical" idea came to my mind. kiss It and thus find out. Kissed. Now I don't know what orientation it is. and to everything, now it constantly looks at me and makes eyes, yesterday it dragged a flower in a pot. I am terrified. Employees squint. what a terrible life.
My fiancee found in my mail a correspondence with some girls, which was conducted not by me, but by my friend, when they were drinking at my house ... But she does not believe. Idiot situation.
My girlfriend is 18 years old, she is dancing, I am 19 (I have been boxing since the age of 8) everything is fine with us, but I feel that something is missing in our
relationships.
Decided to have hard sex..
We turned on the video with hard porn in contact, everything started as usual ..
Kisses, took off her clothes, she took off me ..
I have been puffing over her for several minutes and suddenly (!) She asks to hit her, but harder!!
But I refused .. which was followed by a C grade in my e * lo ..
I have worked for years accumulated reflex ..
He is in the hospital with a broken jaw and a concussion.
Her parents forbade me to communicate, they decided that I was dangerous to society.
I am a boy. I shaved my legs a month ago. Now there hair does not grow! AT ALL!! Friends do not believe in it and think that I liked shaving .. and they laugh, like I will soon pluck my eyebrows and ...!
Nooo, it's too early to shoot. I play in KVN at the university and there is my crown number, where I go out in a women's dress with scary HAIRY legs. This is the joke. And now I'm being kicked off the team - either stop shaving or get out.
Shoot, I can't live without furry male brutal legs.
Already traditional: Advice for all squeamish, scrupulous, etc.: it is better to pass by, because the story is funny, but vulgar.
Yesterday I shit right in the center of the city. And this one is not funny, a healthy man put on full pants. And it was like this, I was walking down the street, not touching anyone, and then I wanted to fart. He farted, and when he farted, even then he realized that he farted his own.
I flock and shit right in my pants, and there's nothing I can do about it. Gamno climbs on its own, without even asking me for permission for this process. Ass blunt opened and gamno climbs. Moreover, the ass opened so wide that I got the impression that she, without my consent, was participating in some kind of competition
I shit on my estimates, seriously. I stand, already sweating, the very center of the city, to the house as if to Moscow on my knees. I stand, and I myself try to find a way out in my head, something must be done. Waddling on foot for about three hours, and this is with full panties of the gomna, this thought was immediately cut off. Patom, I figured out the frost on the street, let me think I’ll sit down on a bench, it’ll freeze, and then I’ll go to the subway, and so I’ll get to the house in dashes. I sat down on a bench and sit, it's warm in my ass. And then the thought, if gogno in shorts freezes, the skiff will also pass away to the eggs. I even felt sick at the thought. Got up. People bypass me, it’s clear that they understood what I was thinking. And I stand and I can’t figure out how. Then a brilliant idea came to me. I’ll go into the entrance now, get into the elevator, take off my panties there, wipe my ass with them and go home quickly.
So, I go to the entrance, I call the elevator. I’m standing, but it’s already starting to cool down, the sensations, frankly, are not great. At the entrance I realized one more thing, it really stinks from me like unwashed cattle, and it stinks strongly. The elevator arrived, I go in, I press the button for the fourteenth floor, and with the second hand I unbutton my pants, well, so that there would be enough time until the elevator arrives. The doors began to close and then a cute female creature flies into the elevator. Styts pizdyts.
- Oh, you are on the 14th floor, and I am on the 13th, - she sang
- Well, I'll ride with you, then I'll go down to the floor. Of course we'll drive, I already pressed the button, I thought, buttoning my pants.
The elevator went, and everything was already in my head, there was noise in my head, my back was sweating, and the gogno had already completely cooled down.
And I think that it started to stink in the elevator very strongly, because this creature looked at me somehow strangely. And I got frostbitten, like I didn’t have to shit in the elevator and that’s it.
And fucking ******, where that floor on the 10th elevator made us a big curtsey, said goodbye to us, and the lights went out. I almost screwed up again. The elevator is stuck.
- Oh, is the elevator stuck? the girl asked.
- I understand that yes, - I'm pretending to be an intellectual. And I myself think what to do, with my gomno and with my dirty ass. And something needs to be done.
And then this Khivrya, presses some button, and starts talking to someone, giving the address of the house and asking for help. I imagined that fitters would come right now, they would start to take us out of here, asking for help, it stinks so badly, I wanted to shit even more. It's dark in the elevator, gouge out your eyes. And then I realized that while it was dark in the elevator, I had to quickly take off my pants, then take off my shorts and put them in a quiet corner. And when the light is turned on, she will see something out of habit.
I unbutton my pants, rustling things so that even the most scared.
"What are you doing?" She asked, swallowing hard.
- Yes, I'm getting comfortable, it's a long time to wait, - and I'm lowering my pants
"What's that smell?" she asked, frightened. I almost blurted out that it was me who shit on the street and that I stink of gogno sho p-ts, but I give out something else:
- Yes, the bastards are shitting in elevators, I can’t breathe, - and I myself have already completely taken off my pants, I’m standing in the elevator in crap underpants. I thought that right now they would turn on the light, the girl would really give up on what she saw. But there is nothing else to do, I keep working.
The girl began to swallow saliva very loudly, the same crap is visible from fright.
And I rustle things.
I myself think to myself how to contrive and quietly take off my panties. And then the wives imagined what the stink would be.
“Man, you won’t hurt me, I beg you, don’t touch me,” the girl whined in her voice.
- What are you, out of my mind, I'm the father of two children, I'm going to a friend on an important issue, how could you think such a thing about me? Damn, it smells like shit when you piss in your pants. It stinks not like in the toilet, it stinks so that the flies lose consciousness on the approach, then they turn around in the intensive care unit for another week. The girl, the same felt something was wrong, began to whine quietly in the corner.
“Come on, I won’t touch you,” I say. And he has already peeled off his underpants from his ass, and I think how to take them off my feet so as not to get smeared in gogne?
The girl went to my mazgam in general, stupidly sits whining and what she is lamenting, probably reading some thread of prayer. And I have already lowered my panties.
- A man .. yyyyy, Anna roars, - I ask you not to kill, - and then such a stupid whining.
- Yes, I need you in FIG, I say, - you have problems up to your throat, you surrendered to me.
I lowered my underpants a little lower than my knees, and I really understand that I’m full of pipets, my legs are in a gogne, my ass is in a gogne and the stink, my eyes are already watery.
The girl completely fucked up on my smell.
- You, you ... ... she mumbles
- Yes, what are you, stay calm for yourself, you don’t give a shit who she is, I can see I entered, that stinks.
The girl, to my mind, settled on the floor of the elevator. I think I almost lose consciousness from my own smell.
But on the other hand, I understand that it is impossible to delay, either now or never.
In short, I bent down, took off my panties from one leg. On the floor, she blurted out, according to my estimates, it was goblin from shorts. The girl in the corner is just mooing like a cow.
I recovered and took off my panties from the second leg. I already felt better, half the work done. I stand with a shorts in my hand and think in which corner this Khivra is roaring, well, so as not to throw a shorts on her head, and so as not to fall on her own pants. He listened, yeah, he’s sitting on the opposite side, which means you need to aim at the opposite corner.
And then a full p-c crept up imperceptibly. The lights turned on and the elevator moved.
When my eyes got used to it, I realized that something was wrong with the girl. Her eyes are like fifteen-inch monitors, her mouth is open, her hands hang like whips, she does everything with her mouth like a fish, in short, I think everything, the tower was blown away by fright. And then I understood. Painting in the elevator. I stand naked from the waist down, all suko in a gammon, in my hands panties with a gammon and look at the girl. Ana was shorter than another five seconds with her mouth padela and stupidly fell to the floor. Everything, I think, is dead, I still got enough blindness in the elevator.
I decided not to waste time, wiped my ass and legs in my underpants. I put on my pants and stand like an honest citizen waiting for my floor. There is a girl on the floor, probably dead, in her hands panties with a gomne, I don’t know what I was holding them for.
When the elevator arrived, the girl had not yet come to life, and was lying on the floor. I thought it would be wrong to leave her in the elevator in this state, so I pulled her to the floor. Palazhiel neatly put his underpants under his head and ran out of this house.
I can’t understand one thing, why the fuck was she so scared?
After all, when it stinks in the elevator, it means that someone has fucked up, but if it smelled like a dick, this one can be scared here, yes, they will, although I don’t see anything terrible here either.
And besides, I smeared your fur coat a little with gammon, wiped my leg off it
