Today, social networks are a universal way to connect with relatives and friends who are far away. Also, networks have become an excellent platform for earning money, and various crowdfunding platforms allow you to collect initial capital to start your business. In a word, the Internet is a new employer, giving a lot of opportunities for earning. And, of course, this is a huge library, a real storehouse of knowledge, which is open to every person who has access to the network.
But not all people feel the boundary where ostentatiousness, posturing and exposing their personal lives for show ends and begins.
Our list will be opened by young mothers who post photos of their children several times a day. Especially surprising are the ladies who cover children's faces with various stickers so that no one sees how the child looks or “does not jinx it”. Why even post pictures at all?
Then comments begin, where the mother, forgetting about herself, begins to write “we” everywhere: we ate for the first time, we pooped for the first time. Why do they lose their identity and turn into "we"? It is not necessary to blame everything only on the fact that the mother lives for the sake of the child. She still has a husband, an environment and, in the end, her own personality, which needs to be developed. When you see posts every day where crazy moms put up photos like this, over time there is nothing left but antagonism.
The next group is the couples who put up. There is nothing wrong with posting a photo with your loved one, but sometimes it turns into complete insanity. Day after day, they try to convince all subscribers that they are an exemplary couple, and if they became participants in the disaster on the Titanic, they would not choose who to stay on the raft: they would go to the bottom, holding hands. Constant declarations of love, comments satiated with smileys with hearts, and tons of pink snot.
How stupid it all looks after a while, when these people part. And everything gets even worse: each new post and photo is a message to the former or former about “how everything is fine with me, but the past relationship was a mistake.” Only there is one but: your suffering is of no interest to anyone, do not litter our tapes.
Next come vinishko-chan (in the past - TP). These dim-witted girls constantly post monotonous photos of their faces, legs, chihuahuas, nails, sometimes full-length photos from a club or a hookah bar. The worst thing is when such a lady, under the influence of the growing moon, discovers in herself the makings of a philosopher and teacher. And under the photo with pouted lips appear pseudo-smart comments about the meaning of life, relationships and quantum physics. There is a doubt that the advice of a girl whose life is limited to “eyelashes” and club parties can help someone.
But it's not the epic yet. There are instagrams of girls, where the hostesses demonstrate all the charms of their own bodies. They do not hide this much and in this way win subscribers, and then receive money for advertising.
But our chicks go further: under the photo of his ass, the chan begins to talk about deep relationships based on spiritual connection. And she doesn’t understand why all the men want from her only sex, sex and only sex. How can you take seriously a lady who allows herself this?
We could not ignore sites where anonymous users ask questions. By creating a page on these resources, they are looking for popularity, because in life they clearly lack attention to their person. Why waste time answering stupid questions about your personal life, diet, when you last went to the toilet? This is a waste of time, aimed only at satisfying one's own ego. You can understand when schoolchildren do such things, but what drives an adult remains a mystery.
The use of such a site is very appropriate for singers, actors, writers, deputies - people usually have a lot of questions about these people.
Let's finish with those people who simply expose their entire . This person sat down to eat - photo in insta. New clothes - photo in insta. I ended up in the hospital - how can I not post a photo with a dropper ?! Every day, every purchase and more or less significant event - everything should be put on display, and the importance will be evaluated in likes and reposts.
Share your joy, your talents, earn money through social networks, but do not transfer your entire life to a digital format. Leave room for the personal and the sacred.
More recently, people loved to visit and exchanged news in person, took an interest in each other's affairs, and discussed various events from their personal lives. With the development of the Internet and social networks, this need has practically disappeared. Personal communication is no longer a necessity.
It is enough to go to the personal page of your friend or acquaintance located on the network, for example, "Vkontakte", to find out everything about his personal life, thanks to the numerous photos and messages posted there.
Most people in VKontakte post detailed pictures for everyone to see. And from them you can learn not only about the significant events taking place in their lives, but even how a person spends his day, literally by the hour.
Why do some flaunt their lives, why do people post photos in contact, what is the psychology of this? Let's discuss:
Psychologist's point of view
Why post photos online?
It is self-affirmation without effort. According to experts, a photograph is not only a reflection, appearance, its imprint. It is also a picture of the inner life of a person, his emotional state. Therefore, most people try to show themselves in the best possible way, in a good mood, so that those who view the picture positively evaluate them.
Hence the number of likes that users put "in contact" to the exposed photos. Thus, users who receive a large number of ratings and positive reviews, without making any effort, increase their own status, feel in the spotlight.
Expressing yourself in the virtual world is much easier than in real life. Agree, in order to be appreciated, praised in real life, you need to do something useful, make an effort. And in social networks, people uploaded photos to their page and nothing else needs to be done at all.
Just post a picture of your loved one against the backdrop of an expensive car, dancing on the table, etc. - success will be guaranteed! Likes, comments, reviews will pour in - everything you need for self-affirmation. So they post their images in Contact.
Look - we are happy!
There are a lot of wedding photos online. Girls especially like to post their photos in a wedding dress, near a beautiful car, photos in the interior of a holiday photo: What is the psychology of this?
Experts explain this by the fact that for every girl her own wedding is one of the most important events in her life. Everyone wants to be the most beautiful and happy in such a significant life. Therefore, from a psychological point of view, their actions are quite understandable.
internet addiction
American experts involved in the psychological nature of the described phenomenon have identified a connection between regular publications of photographs of a loved one on the network and the existing dependence on the Internet.
The psychology of this phenomenon is a kind of psychostimulant that allows you to get more and more strong emotions. This is especially true for those who post photos from their daily life, sometimes quite ridiculous: I eat, I sleep, I undress, I get dressed, etc.
Such people simply cannot live without likes, ratings of their subscribers, their approval. Without the support of unknown, unfamiliar people whom he does not know and is unlikely to ever know, an Internet addict simply cannot live normally. Without likes, reviews and comments, he feels lost, depressed, and may show aggression.
So you have to maintain interest in your own person with rather controversial, often just stupid photos in contact.
vanity factory
If you look at the accounts of most services, you might get the impression that this is a place of communication for happy people who have achieved success in life. On the pages of many users, only photos and descriptions of luxurious holidays, rich interiors, entertainment, delicious food, expensive cars, etc. flaunt.
Such images are most often posted by users living an ordinary ordinary life, with their successes and problems. In this way, they amuse their own vanity, showing their often invented "success" to boring and not so lucky subscribers.
As you know, the world is harmonious and balanced. In addition to the ostentatious, glossy side of life for each of us, there is also a shadow side that not everyone wants to demonstrate.
Showing a stranger, a faceless person, photos of his "chic", successful life, which does not really exist, the netizen himself believes a little in this, thereby raising his life status. He rejoices and is proud of the likes and reviews left, amusing his vanity.
Loneliness and boredom
Very often people post pictures of their supposedly successful life just out of boredom and loneliness.
Psychologists say that an increase in the significance of the outer part of life always indicates a lack of inner. There are users who post a dozen photos every day: She is with perfect makeup, without a single wrinkle, showing her outfits. He - demonstrates a new car, expensive watch, etc.
This often means that they really need to feel their importance, which most likely does not exist in their lives. Such people simply suffer from boredom and, often, from loneliness.
Many engage in narcissism, looking at their own and other people's images for a long time, counting and liking. They get joy from a beautiful picture and dream of a beautiful life. Such people are often internally empty, not busy with anything serious and very lonely.
Have you read the book "Games People Play: The Psychology of Relationships" by Bernard Eric Lennard? If you haven't yet, be sure to read it. Where can I get it? Look on the Internet, in the same social network. It happens that people spread, psychology is of interest to many.
But in reality, you still remain within four walls and look at a dusty screen that displays yours in the form of small pixels. And even if you watch the highest quality photos and videos, it’s still a bunch of not always necessary information, and not a real experience. So you can spend your whole life "online", filled with other people's emotions, other people's impressions and other people's desires.
The main harm of social networks is the creation of a biased attitude towards people.
Imagine:
There is a girl Lena, she has twins and an ordinary husband who works in the office. Constantly sitting at home with the children, the mother of two daughters was completely bored and registered on Instagram. Lena does not throw off her boring and monotonous life in the tape - she takes photos of only the best moments: in a restaurant (which she last visited a few months ago), on a walk, in a theater, in shops. This is about 15% of her life - the rest can hardly be called fun.
What is the result?
Lena's friends and subscribers, watching her cheerful photos, pictures from boutiques and restaurants, shots with a business husband in a suit, imagine that this is a rich, successful and driving person.
What will be the disappointment of these people when they meet the usual Lenka, a mother of twins with an average husband. As a result, the subscriber and the owner of the page are unlikely to find a common language - there is an abyss between them, dug by prejudices and false images.
- Hi, how are you? Has the cat recovered? It’s a pity that you broke up with Vanka, he was a cool guy.
- Hi who are you?
- And I read your statuses.
A fictional story, but so similar to what we see today on social networks. If you go to the page of some people and look at the history of their statuses and albums with photos, you can literally write down everything that happened in their life every day. Where did they rest, who did they meet, who did they break up with, who betrayed them, who did they delete from their lives and why.
Such people, with some inexplicable fanaticism, post everything that happens in their lives on the net. Even everything that, it would seem, is somehow not convenient to tell even to people I know. But in social networks, everyone who wishes has access to other people's pages, in this case, to someone else's life.
What it is? Modern trend? Wanting to draw attention to yourself? Lack of close friends, and the resulting lack of communication?
We will answer all these questions from the position of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology.
Who likes to live for show?
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows that such behavior may be characteristic of some people with a visual vector.
The viewer is a natural psychotherapist. He knows how to create an emotional connection with any person. You can feel special comfort next to him, he wants to trust and pour out his soul, feeling relief after that. It is the girls in the class who tell the audience all their secrets and secrets, unfortunate women who are cheated on by their husbands, men who are not satisfied with something in their personal lives.
But, not every viewer has this ability. Only the one who was able to develop these properties in himself. Then, when the spectator does not develop them for certain reasons, he, instead of empathizing with others, enjoys demonstrating himself. He enthusiastically talks exclusively about his life situations, problems, experiences, happiness and suffering. Depending on his condition and additional vectors, he can do this to a limited circle of people - close friends, relatives, or even barely known people.
Previously, only those in whose environment they found themselves knew about such people. Their behavior was surprising, but everything was written off as “human oddities”.
Today, with the advent of social networks and, associated with this, the multiple expansion of the circle of people we encounter, each of us sees such people every day. Their life in front of others is annoying. This is how a person works, we do not like other people because they are not like us. We do not understand them and begin to build our guesses. Think from the position of your vector set “what would have pushed me to this”? So theories are put forward that such people lack communication. That they just want to show off. And so on, so on, so on...
But in fact, it is not the lack of a sufficient social circle or the desire to show off that pushes these people to lay out all the details of their lives for everyone to see, but the peculiarities of their psyche.
The visual vector, however, like any other, is multifaceted, depending on its states, each property and desire of the viewer can manifest itself in different ways. So, the viewer can expose his soul, as lovers of life do for show, or his body, as nudists and exhibitionists do.
And today there are much more lovers of life for show than a few years ago for one more reason. Seeing others expose their lives in front of the entire Internet community, those viewers who could still restrain themselves, stop doing it. So every year more and more details of the lives of various people appear on social networks. Which, perhaps, have only one thing in common - the state of their visual vector. Before they saw it from another person, they didn't think it was normal. They, perhaps, were even ashamed of their desire to expose their souls to a large number of people, an infinitely large number.
Through exposing the details of their lives, these spectators in this way, in a peculiar way, remove their shortcomings, getting a sense of satisfaction.
In fact, there is nothing bad in this, just like there is nothing good. The very fact of such a kind of exhibitionism speaks of not quite good states of the visual vector. The fact that instead of realizing himself outwardly, for the benefit of society, this spectator is trying to realize himself inwardly, to consume emotions. When we try to realize what is called Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology "inside" - this is always not quite adequate. The internal volume is limited, but our desire is great, and our internal volume is simply not enough to realize our desire. Here we go beyond the reasonable. We lack those people who surround us, we are already going where we are not known, trying, through expanding the circle of people to whom we show our life, to get more pleasure.
The article was written using the materials of the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
We all post photos of everyday little things that are pleasant for us - from our favorite plush toy to a funny ad posted at the entrance. But some go even further and post photos of everything that surrounds them during the day.
We all post photos of everyday little things that are pleasant for us - from our favorite plush toy to a funny ad posted at the entrance.
Ninety photographs, with chronometric accuracy, fixing not so much the events of the day as the interiors in which these events take place. Not very clean bedding or blinds with the bright sun breaking through them, cups, bowls, plates, flowers, fruits, animals, children ... From all these objects, the small Dutch would already have made a dozen metaphorical still lifes about the vanity of existence. But these are not small Dutch people - these are posts by members of the One My Day community, whose task is to tell about their day with the help of photographs with a small amount of text. Photofixation of the smallest details of a lived period of time is not specifically Russian history, there are several dozen English versions of "A day in my life".
Photographic reports on the theme "One of my days" in a greatly simplified form continue the literary tradition of describing one day of the hero, showing through the prism of events the whole life and the whole volume of experiences that fill this person. And just like in literature, community members share either a routine day of their lives, thereby demonstrating its stability and orderliness, or one of the significant dates: the birth of a child, the defense of a project or a wedding.
The community has existed for three years, but it has become noticeable only recently - the number of participants has exceeded 10 thousand. Thus, "One of my days" entered the list of the 50 most popular LiveJournal communities.
Psychoanalyst Mark Sandomiersky believes One My Day can be called an extract of Internet communities: “Of course, in such groups, participants are selected according to common interests, which can be called virtual exhibitionism, flashy demonstrativeness, unbridled desire to flaunt oneself. All these are general patterns of the psychology of social media users, an increased need to draw attention to their own person. This is noticeable in any social networks.
Most often, women from 20 to 35 years old share their day, less often - men. A large proportion of the storytellers are emigrants and citizens of the world: about 60% of all posts are pictures from the “beautiful far away”. Community founder Anna Gahan is proud that she managed to create “an atmosphere of benevolence, openness and the ability to accept the world of another person completely, without conditions, without the requirement to be the same as
yourself." This, of course, is a somewhat polished version of the relationship between the participants: although direct insults and criticism are prohibited by the rules of the community, many commentators no-no yes insert secular hairpins: “Everything, of course, is very good and positive, but somehow without soul and meaning.”
RETOUCHED EXHIBITIONISM
In the One My Day community, people open their personal space to other people's views. Penetration into it is always painful or at least palpable. A person becomes unarmed before assessment, discussion, questions and any actions directed in his direction.
“The reason for such mass, epidemic demonstrativeness is quite objective,” Mark Sandomiersky believes. Research shows that active social media users literally fall into childhood. The brain of an adult in the process of Internet surfing and virtual network communication switches to a childish state, and he begins to behave egocentrically, demanding attention, naively exposing everything to the public. And just as desperately as a small child, in need of praise, categorically does not accept criticism. True, some researchers go further and see the described features of the behavior of Internet users as manifestations of the global trend of human infantilization.
Anna Gahan says that in the flow of photographs, which turns into one light day, the life values of a person are most clearly manifested: “He himself can look at his day from the side and notice that it is too empty, or that he pays too much attention to work, or that he has amazing kids and an absolutely amazing wife/husband/mother-in-law. When I photographed the first day for this community, a lot was revealed about myself.
In the end, it became a kind of therapy - I "bare" in front of society and better understand myself and the people around me.
We close ourselves in the space of our apartment, we hardly talk and know almost nothing about what we think, what we dream about, what we hope for, what our neighbor or colleague is interested in. But man is a social creature, he is lonely and uncomfortable alone. The Internet, on the other hand, allows us not only to show our life exactly as we see it, but also to try on someone else's. Some use the photo report as an opportunity for internal cleansing, while others simply use it to tidy up the apartment.
“You can’t say that I put my life on display. The really important, hidden somewhere inside, remains with me. As for household trifles, I think that from this point of view, the community is an excellent reason to finally put your life in order, to make it so that you are not ashamed to show it to others, ”says Katya
(26) from Kyiv.
The order in the apartment and within themselves, demonstrated by the members of the community, is nothing more than a screen, thanks to which they send updated messages to the world: “I am a hostess”, “I am a decorator” or “I am a highly organized and exalted person”.
PhD in Psychology, author of books on the psychology of Internet users Natalya Chudova notes that on the Internet we try on many different guises, playing with our own identity: “Anonymity is a fundamental property of the Internet that sets the security situation. But Internet technologies not only provide new opportunities for communication, but also give rise to a special cultural space in which the user has at his disposal tools that influence the process of forming the image of the Self.
Evaluation and self-esteem are one of the motivating factors for posting this kind of posts. Demonstrate your own superiority or just the norm. Nobody canceled the provocation either: having shown their lives, the authors are waiting for bright reactions.
Same-sex couples host their own days to protest existing stereotypes. People dissatisfied with the financial condition - deliberately poor and sloppy interiors.
SYNTHETIC LIFE
Someone else's life through the prism of social networks always seems more interesting, richer, brighter and more significant than our own. The desire to spy on the life of other people, to examine it in great detail and compare it with oneself is completely irresistible. Here is what Katya (26), a member of the community, writes: “I always liked to look into the windows of people in the evenings and imagine: how do they live there? It is equally interesting for me to observe the life of a student from Moscow, a worker from Khabarovsk and some millionaire from Tyumen. Anna Gahan bluntly states: "One of my days"
This is an opportunity to try on someone else's life, and many linger in this fitting room indefinitely. Members of the commune admit that viewing the topics of the community has become their main “time waster”.
“It teaches me to find small joys,” says Olesya (27). - Once it seemed that if the day passed without any super-events and poignant moments, it was in vain. But, looking at how other people live, I once again understand that the amazing is nearby, you don’t need to chase after impressions, you just need to look around and find the positive in what surrounds you.”
Contact with someone else's life gives a feeling of involvement. A person has the opportunity to live someone else's life without destroying his own. Get new experiences at a safe distance. Tatyana Kochetova, Associate Professor, Candidate of Psychology at the Faculty of Social Psychology of the Moscow State University of Psychology and Education, believes that the members of these communities have protective mechanisms that work according to the principle (to paraphrase a well-known saying): “Whoever has something hurts, he says that it hurts another”, that is, it’s interesting always something that constitutes its own problem, but due to self-control, this problem is difficult to admit to oneself. “Moreover, looking at such things in the network with constant feedback “I liked it”, “I rate it” is a kind of positive reinforcement of the defense mechanism for the one who posts photos, and the successful operation of the identification mechanism for the one who views them,” adds an expert. An enthusiastic comment by one of the members of the commune can serve as the most striking example confirming this opinion: “While reading the community, I learn to live, I learn from others, I find people interesting to me, I follow their future life, some posts are an incentive for me not to be afraid to take a step to one side or the other. Thanks to everyone and the community for the inspiration and desire to change lives!” - writes Alena (25).
Behind all the motives and motivations of people who publish photos of their day, there is a desire for manipulation and even aggression, albeit in the most hidden form - in most cases, the discussion of one day of a stranger comes down to
to whether there is a meaning in his life or not, is it saturated enough, are his achievements satisfactory, from the point of view of society, are the curtains good, are the cockroaches fat? But since an unspoken taboo has been imposed on the open position of superiority in LiveJournal, everything comes down to a simple, from the point of view of psychology, devaluation of achievements. The expert position in this case is advantageous in all directions: the commentator receives confirmation for himself that his life, compared to this squalor, is just a miracle how good, filled with meaning and spiritual growth.
Natalya Rustamova
