Portfolio of copywriters on TextSale.ru -
"Never!" - every second person will reasonably say, not burdened with the study of etiquette rules from school, most likely for reasons of losing their own dignity in the eyes of both colleagues present in the office and the boss himself. In fact, it is with such behavior that he loses this very dignity. Because it’s a no brainer that when the boss appears in front of your clear eyes, getting up is not only a tribute to politeness and courtesy towards the boss, but also the first necessity, showing how well you are brought up. And it doesn't matter if you're older than your boss or younger. Although, in the first case, exceptions to the rules are possible, first of all, made by the boss himself, that is, at his gracious discretion, you sit or stand. I don't think anyone will judge him for that.
And how often have you had to, entering a solid office for urgent matters, to see a secretary standing up to meet you, with a sweet smile on her face, and with the chief busy, kindly suggesting you wait a certain number of minutes? It is clear that for the secretary you are not the boss, but here, too, the rules of etiquette suggest that a nice girl, when she sees you enter the reception room, must definitely get up.
It's nice to see educated people around you, but it's even nicer to see yourself on top of Olympus called "Etiquette". Only in this case you will be treated the way you not only want it, but also deserve it. Is not it?
Every morning, when we wake up, we choose our mood ourselves, just like clothes. Dress in happiness, it is always in fashion.
Many successful people practice getting up early and recommend it to others. Is it really such a necessary habit that everyone needs to instill? Or is it possible to get up late and still be successful?
Much has been written about the technique of getting up early, for example, in the book The Magic of the Morning by Hal Elrod. Hal writes about how getting up early can be life-changing:
- Improve overall health, lose weight (if necessary);
- Reduce stress levels;
- Wake up every morning with a boost of energy;
- Earn more;
- Find your calling and follow it;
- Increase productivity and learn to focus on key tasks.
- Silence (5 minutes).
- Affirmations (5 minutes).
- Visualization (5 minutes).
- Physical exercise (20 minutes).
- Reading (20 minutes).
- Letter (5 minutes).
This hour is your personal time that you devote to yourself. This is a transformation that will give you a boost of energy, improve your mood and move you far ahead!
Want to incorporate the early rise method into your life? Before you do this, answer one question: are you a lark or an owl?
Early risers will find it easier to practice the early rise technique and wake up at 5am. Here, rather, it will be necessary to work on psychological barriers, such as procrastination, laziness, fear of change.
You can try doing the following:
- Write down motivating goals that will help you wake up and immediately start working on yourself.
- The next day will be beautiful - wake up with this thought!
- Review your diet - it greatly affects how you sleep and, accordingly, whether you want to wake up at 5 in the morning.
- Write down your individual self-development program that you want to do at 5 am (if the above does not suit you)
- Start with some physical activity and a nice shower. This will improve your mood and give you motivation.
- Work with a coach. This will help you identify the reasons why you are unable to get up early and outline a plan of action for effectively waking up at 5 am. For example, it can be such a request: I can get up at 5 in the morning, but I do nothing or I do it sluggishly.
And remember that if you decide to get up at 5 in the morning, then you need to do it constantly, without interruptions. It is very important!
Since our body gets used to a measured schedule. And when you knock down the rhythm, then this is a very big stress for the whole organism.
By the way, do not forget that the optimal duration of sleep is approximately 7-8 hours. (average value) Even if you are a morning person, you will not be able to stay up late and wake up at 5 in the morning. You will simply burn out very quickly and abandon this business, as you will not get enough sleep.
Organize your day like this so that you have time to do all your business and go to bed before 21:00 (until 22:00). This will help you sleep well and wake up easily. And then you will really spend 1 hour of the morning time with benefit and pleasure.
If you are an owl, then things are more complicated. Waking up at 5am is definitely not for you!
If you try to get up at 5 am, it will only stress and torment your body. Getting up early won't be as effective, and you'll likely be "nodding off" for the rest of the day.
What should owls do? Everyone has their own productive time during the day. Those. the time when you are ready to move mountains, the energy overflows, the sensations are just wonderful!
Find this time! For example, it can be a lunch break or late evening, when everyone (especially children) went to bed. The main thing is that no one distracts you. And you can devote this 1 hour completely to yourself using the above self-development techniques. At the same time, you will get enough sleep and develop effectively.
And one more thing about owls, more precisely, "pseudos". Some people mistakenly identify themselves as owls and try to live according to their "schedule". Moreover, they experience some discomfort, but they are already accustomed to this lifestyle and consider it the norm.
To identify as accurately as possible who you are - an owl or a lark, take the Horn-Ostberg psychological test. This is a fairly accurate test to identify your chronotype.
And in conclusion, I want to note that your life depends only on you.. Try to bring a “wonderful morning” (or “wonderful evening”) into it, and then you will become the sorceress who can work miracles.
Be the best version of yourself!
And my professional support will help you with this!
Such rules include a number of trifles and conventions, but it is they that constitute the elementary norms of behavior of colleagues at work. Let's start in order. The first official situation: the boss and several of his subordinates, including several women, approached the door at the same time.
The question arises, who should open the door? In this situation, the door must be opened by the one who is closest to the door. If a woman stands at the door, she opens it. But a real gentleman will surely seize the initiative and say: “Come in, please.” It's even better when the boss does it himself. Why? Yes, because subordinates are always in a hurry, afraid of being late. And if a lot of people have gathered at the door, the boss with this gesture can help his subordinates not to be late and at the same time express his respectful attitude towards them, which will help create the image of a well-mannered and very benevolent person.
And so you entered the building where you work. If there is security or a pass system at the entrance or in the corridor, you should definitely say hello to the person who is standing at the door or checking passes. In the locker room, you also need to say hello to the cloakroom attendant.
Upon entering the room, you should greet the colleagues you meet. If you shake hands with one of them, you should definitely extend your hand to everyone else. When there are a lot of people in the room, you can not say hello to each employee individually. It is enough to say “Hello” to everyone and smile affably.
As is known from the general rules of etiquette, if a woman enters a room where men are sitting, they get up (only the very elderly or people with physical disabilities are allowed not to get up). But in a business environment, this rule does not apply. Here, when a woman of lower rank enters, the men do not stand up.
Entering the room, the boss greets the subordinates he meets. It is not necessary to give a hand, but you should say “hello” to both the security guard and the cleaner who finishes cleaning the premises, and all other employees who work in the service sector and are currently in the eyes of the boss. When the boss walks down the corridor, he may meet an employee whom he wants to ask a business question (not so serious as to invite him to his office). In this situation, the boss can stop the employee and, after saying hello, start a conversation on the merits.
If during this conversation another employee walks down the corridor and sees his boss, he should, if he is sure that he was not noticed, quietly pass by. Saying hello to reinsurance from the back of the boss is not accepted, because it always looks comical.
But if the employee nevertheless said hello and the boss noticed this, then in this situation I have two options for the behavior of the boss. The first option: if the conversation is not very responsible, then the boss apologizes to his interlocutor and, turning around, greets the one who greeted him. The second option: if the topic under discussion is so serious that it is impolite to interrupt the conversation at this moment, the boss does not respond to the greeting of the passing employee, and he will most likely understand this. Saying hello over the shoulder will be more impolite than just pretending that he did not notice anyone. However, during the day, the boss still needs to find an opportunity to greet this employee.
Creating a businesslike atmosphere largely depends on how you behave in the reception area and the boss's office. Consider the possible cases in this situation.
Case one. The boss has a prima. where is the secretary. It is she who regulates the flow of visitors. Therefore, before entering the boss, you must ask permission from the secretary. Second case. The chief does not have a reception room, and he does not have a secretary. The first question that arises in a subordinate when he wants to enter the boss's office: is it necessary to knock? The answer is unequivocal - it is not necessary. You just need to open the door and ask, for example, like this: “Can I come to you?” If at this moment the boss is talking on the phone and making an inviting gesture with his hand, then you need to enter the office and stop not far from the door.
If the boss invites you, you need to enter the office, say hello and go to the table assigned to the head of the table and stop here.
If the boss is silent, then you can not enter.
In the case when you brought office papers to the boss’s office, and he, taking them from you, says: “thank you”, without inviting you to sit down, you should turn around and quietly exit.
Such behavior of the boss should not be considered as bad manners or impoliteness. It's just that he is not obliged to invite everyone who came to him to sit down, even if a woman came to him.
In the event that you make a visit to a major official or conduct official negotiations, the distance between the interlocutors should be approximately 3.5-4 meters. If during a conversation you approach the interlocutor at a specified distance, then most likely, position him towards you. At closer distances, the effect may be reversed.
As for all other cases, you should not start a business conversation from a distance of more than 4 meters. Establishing a good contact in this case is almost impossible, and setting the interlocutor against yourself is very easy. But a smile, even at such a distance, is a universal means of getting in touch.
It is better to say the first phrases by approaching a distance of 1.5-2 meters (depending on the closeness of the relationship with the interlocutor). At such a distance, news is usually exchanged or just going to chat. More often
interlocutors, when it comes to personal problems or something particularly important or confidential, prefer to communicate at a closer distance (0.5-1.5 meters). Since such a distance is most characteristic of close acquaintances and friends, the interlocutors subconsciously tune in to sympathy and help. Due to this distance, we are perceived much “closer”.
There is an even closer communication distance (usually less than 40-50 cm), which implies complete trust and spiritual closeness, but it is usually not used in business practice and is typical only for parents, children and lovers.
A woman in the service must remember that she is a subordinate and therefore all the rules of official etiquette apply to her. She should not pretend that the boss paid special attention to her. In passing, we note that a woman, as a subordinate employee, does not first give her hand to her boss (although in all other cases she gives a hand to a man first).
The boss is not obliged to give a hand to all his subordinates. He can simply greet them with a nod of his head, saying "hello".
Do women need to get up when the boss enters the room where they work? If he entered in order to get acquainted with the staff, then you need to get up. If the boss entered for the first time, it is also advisable to get up. But if it is a normal working day, and / the boss enters and leaves the room many times, then, of course, you do not need to get up. ^
In passing, we note one more convention. When a woman (an employee or an outside visitor) enters the boss's office, he must get up, button his jacket and leave the table. Unfortunately, our male leaders very often forget to button up their jackets. And it looks very impolite, speaks of bad manners of such people.
You need to fasten your jacket in other cases. For example, when a man is sitting at the presidium table, he can unbutton his jacket, but if he was given the floor, then he must fasten his jacket when standing up. The same thing is at a party, at a reception or in a restaurant: if a man has to say a toast, he should first of all button up.
It happens. that his boss enters the office of a subordinate. And immediately the question arises: who should be the first to lend a hand? The rule here is this: no matter how high the boss enters the office of his subordinate, the owner of the office extends his hand, regardless of age and gender. Just don’t stretch your hand across the table - it’s impolite, although we do this quite often. It is also not necessary for the owner of the office to meet the boss who entered with an outstretched hand.
The correct behavior in this situation will be that you calmly approach the boss who has entered and extend your hand to him, then politely greet him and invite him to sit down. Where? Certainly out of place. And not at a large conference table, but a table attached to the table of the owner of the office. At the same time, the person who entered should be offered a place at this table facing the window, and he himself should sit with his back to the window, but facing the door.
In the case when the guest is a woman, she can sit with her back to the window (sometimes women are not sure if they look good and therefore do not want to sit facing the light, especially in bright sunshine). This means that the woman herself chooses the place. Even if the boss has already pointed to the chair, she has the right to say: "If you don't mind, I'll sit here."
Consider now the norms of etiquette that should be observed at office meetings. Let's start with the behavior of the leader.
Opening the meeting, the boss addresses the audience. Previously, he addressed them with the word "comrades." Now quite a lot of people (especially young people) are skeptical about this word. Therefore, when addressing those gathered at official meetings, the word "gentlemen" should be used. In normal meetings, you can use a neutral address, such as "dear colleagues."
So, you turned to those present, announced the agenda, after which you propose
three options for providing the word: 1)
offer to speak to those who wish; 2) give the floor to those sitting clockwise to their left; 3) first of all give the floor to the senior in rank or age. Of these options, in our time, the first is the most preferable, since it is the most democratic. In addition, someone is always ready to speak before others.
The boss leading the meeting should not impose his point of view. The audience should be free to express their own opinion. The leader of the meeting needs to keep cool, not get excited and not attack dissidents. If, in the heat of debate, some of the participants in the meeting are rude, it is the duty of the moderator to intervene and protect those to whom they are directed. Calling for order, the boss should ask the speakers to speak to the point. In cursing such undisciplined participants, as well as those who like to start from Adam, the meeting leader usually suggests staying closer to the topic.
The leader himself should be able to single out the main thing, not allow himself to be drowned in trifles, speak about the matter clearly, accurately and clearly. The brevity of the meeting is an indicator of the quality of the leader's work. To do this, we must strive to ensure that all participants in the meeting are prepared in advance for a productive discussion of the issue in order to collectively find means to solve it.
Consider now the norms of business etiquette, which must be followed by the employees themselves invited to the meeting.
First of all, don't be late for the meeting. Latecomers prove a careless attitude to their official duties, as well as disrespect for those who came to the meeting earlier.
During the meeting, it is not customary to talk to each other. Separate remarks are quite acceptable, but this topic should not be discussed among themselves. Indeed, at this moment, the boss may think that you are discussing yesterday's football match or something else that is not related to the issues under discussion.
You should also avoid looking at your watch while speaking, as you may be misunderstood as being bored or in a hurry to get somewhere.
When you know before the meeting that you will have to leave for some reason, you need to warn the meeting leader about this in advance.
In the event that you did not have the opportunity to warn the boss leading the meeting in advance, you need to carefully, calmly and without noise get up, open the door quietly and go out.
Greetings, dear readers! Elena Nikandrova is with you. Now almost everywhere we hear that you need to get up as early as possible, preferably before sunrise, that this is how ancient people got up and thereby extended their lives. Everywhere we are taught how to learn to get up early. There is also an opinion that we are all born "larks", and "owls" are already becoming in the process of life.
After listening to these and many other sayings, I decided that I wanted to learn how to get up early in order to do more and be healthier. Now I will tell you in what ways you can learn to wake up earlier, and then I will share my results from this experiment.
Ways to get up earlier
- The very first thing I recommend doing is to determine what morning hours are most comfortable for you to get up. I tried to wake up at 8 and 9 in the morning, but I felt overwhelmed. The ideal time for me was 6 am. You must set your own time.
- To wake up early, you need to go to bed earlier, it is advisable to do this before 12 o'clock at night, optimally at 22 o'clock.
- It is very difficult to force yourself to go to bed at 10 pm, because it is at this time that there are many interesting things to do, the energy literally begins to seethe and you want to do as much as possible, and then you need to go to bed. To make it easy to do, you must be tired during the day - go in for sports, give yourself physical activity and by the evening the body itself will want to put you to bed early.
- Also, be sure to create some kind of goal that will wake you up early in the morning every day. But remember, the motivation must be strong enough, otherwise all the work will be in vain.
- It is necessary to create comfortable conditions for early awakening. For example, if the apartment is cold and it is dark outside, then you will not want to get out from under the covers. Therefore, put a warm, soft bathrobe or blanket, cozy fluffy slippers or socks by the bed so that you can wrap yourself in it immediately after waking up. Also immediately turn on the light in the bedroom and preferably the top one.
- At first, you will have to use an alarm clock to wake up early, but do not put it near the bed so that you can easily reach it. Place it far away so that you have to get out of bed to turn off the alarm.
- Wake up at the same time, so your body will soon begin to wake up without an alarm clock. And you need to wake up early in the morning not only on weekdays, but also on weekends, during vacations and holidays.
From my own experience I can say that all these methods are effective and work, so if you want to learn how to get up early, you can safely use them.
Do I have to get up early?
Now let's talk about whether it is really necessary to break yourself and get up early. I want to warn you right away that this is purely my opinion, based on my repeated experience, yours may be different.
I came to the conclusion that personally, getting up early did not bring me anything good. All the days you feel "not at ease", your favorite things have ceased to bring joy and satisfaction. Then there was always no mood, I became irritable, the work was done through force, you feel complete dissatisfaction with life.
I don’t argue that getting up early can be a joy for someone and will bring great results in a career, in business and in other areas of life, but for me personally it was torture.
Although it should be noted that many influential people get up early in the morning to achieve great results. So it's up to you and the choice is yours.
And I am of the opinion that whenever we wake up, the main thing is to feel harmony and satisfaction with life, to experience joy from every minute we live.
Yours faithfully, Elena Nikandrova
Question: Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh! May God Almighty bless you, amen.
How do scholars interpret the hadiths about getting up when meeting with the words of greeting (peace)? Do I need to get up when meeting or stay in a sitting position? Also, please comment on the following hadith:
- Anas bin Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said that there was no person more beloved to them than the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and when they saw him, they did not get up, knowing that he did not love This. (Tirmizi. Sunan)
- The story of Kaab ibn Malik is transmitted in Sahih by Imam Bukhari and Muslim, when Allah accepted the repentance of him and his two companions. When Ka'b entered the mosque, Talha ibn Ubaydullah stood up and ran towards him to greet him and congratulate him on the forgiveness of Allah, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not condemn this act.
- When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered his daughter Fatima, she stood up, took his hand and put him in her place. And when she came to him, he took her hand and put her in his place. (Tirmidhi, sahih hadith)
and etc. (Russia, Kaliningrad region, Svetly)
Answer:
In the name of the All-Merciful and Merciful Allah!
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh!
Your question is about whether it is possible and necessary to get up to greet the person who has entered with salam.
If we talk about whether it is generally possible to greet a person while standing, then yes, you can, there is nothing wrong with that. This is one of the possible types of salam greetings. Now consider a situation where one or more people are sitting in a room, and at this time another person enters: is it possible to get up, or does everyone need to remain in their places? Sheikh Badruddin Aini (may Allah have mercy on him) considered this case and gave four different answers depending on the circumstances:
A) It is forbidden to get up if it is known that the person entering, due to arrogance and arrogance, is waiting for others to get up for him.
القيام على أربعة أوجه الأول محظور وهو أن يقع لمن يريد أن يقام إليه تكبرا وتعاظما على القائمين إليه
b) It is disapproved (makruh) to get up if there is a feeling that the person entering will become proud that people got up for him.
والثاني مكروه وهو أن يقع لمن لا يتكبر ولا يتعاظم على القائمين ولكن يخشى أن يدخل نفسه بسبب ذلك ما يحذر ولما فيه من التشبه بالجبابرة
C) It is permissible to stand up for a good or educated person out of respect for him, if it is seen that he does not expect others to stand up for him.
والثالث جائز وهو أن يقع على سبيل البر والإكرام لمن لا يريد ذلك ويؤمن معه التشبه بالجبابرة
D) It is recommended to get up to greet someone who has returned from a trip or received good news in order to wish him well and share his happiness. It is also recommended to stand up to greet a person who has been struck by this or that misfortune.
والرابع مندوب وهو أن يقوم لمن قدم من سفر فرحا بقدومه ليسلم عليه أو إلى من تجددت له نعمة فيهنئه بحصولها أو مصيبة فيعزيه بسببها
(Aini. Tukhfat-ul-ahwazi. - Volume 8, p. 24)
The hadiths you listed should be considered in the light of the above clarification. If properly understood, it will become clear that there are no contradictions between the given narratives. They just have different rules. For your convenience, below is a commentary on each hadeeth:
First hadith:
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
لم يكن شخص أحب إليهم من رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، وكانوا إذا رأوه لم يقوموا لما يعلمون من كراهيته لذلك
“There was no person more beloved to them than the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). When they saw him, they did not get up, knowing that he did not like it."
(Tirmizi. - No. 2754)
In this narration, Mr. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) clearly indicates that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not want people to stand up to greet him. Such was his modesty: despite his highest position among people, he wanted to be treated like the most ordinary person. The Companions wanted to stand up out of respect for him, but did not do so, knowing that this would cause inconvenience to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
Second hadith:
Kaab ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said:
دخلت المسجد، فإذا برسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، فقام إلي طلحة بن عبيد الله يهرول حتى صافحني وهنأني
“I entered the mosque and immediately saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Then Talhah ibn Ubaydullah (may Allah be pleased with him) got up, ran up to me, shook my hand and congratulated me.
(Bukhari. Sahih. - Chapter on shaking hands)
Mr. Talhah ibn Ubaydullah (may Allah be pleased with him) congratulated Mr. Kaaba (may Allah be pleased with him) on the fact that verses were sent down on the acceptance of his repentance. Being his close friend, Mr. Abu Talha stood up to greet Mr. Kaaba and share his joy with him. This situation belongs to the fourth category of cases, which Sheikh Badruddin Aini (may Allah have mercy on him) wrote about.
Third hadith:
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
ما رأيت امرأة أشبه حديثا وكلاما برسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من فاطمة، وكانت إذا دخلت بيته أخذ بيدها فقبلها وأجلسها في مجلسه، وكان إذا دخل عليها، قامت إليه، فقبلته وأخذت بيده
“I have not seen anyone so similar to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as Fatim, in his speech and in the way he sat. When she came to him, he stood up to greet and kiss her. Then he took her by the hand and seated her in his seat. When the Prophet came to her, she stood up to greet him, kissed him and took his hand.”
(Nasai. Sunan kubra. - No. 9193)
This hadith indicates the great love of the father for the daughter and the daughter for the father. It is clear that the Prophet of Allah got up out of love for Fatima, and she did the same out of love for him. Since there was no pride here, and everything was done out of pure love and respect, this situation belongs to the third category of cases considered by Sheikh Badruddin Aini (Allah have mercy on him).
And in the first hadith considered, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not like it when people stood up in his presence, because this was the custom surrounded by arrogant rulers who expected their subordinates to stand up for them.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) abhorred arrogance and therefore did not like it when people stood up for him. This does not mean that standing up to greet a person is completely forbidden under any circumstances, and the third hadeeth about Mrs. Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her) shows that there is no general prohibition on this action. It is forbidden in cases where it can be taken as an expression of arrogance. Therefore, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
من سره أن يتمثل له الرجال قياما فليتبوأ مقعده من النار
"Whoever wants people to stand up for him, let him prepare a place for himself in hell."
(Tirmizi. - No. 2755, narrated by Abu Mijlyaz)
This hadeeth forbids a person to want people to get up for him because of his position. This demonstrates the first and second category of cases that Sheikh Badruddin Aini (may Allah have mercy on him) spoke about.
If people stand up to greet a person out of respect or love for him, then there is nothing wrong with that, if he does not count and hope for it.
And Allah knows best.
Wassalam.
Mufti Suhail Tarmahomed
Department of Fatwas of the Council of Alims (KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa)
Translated by: Timur (Q540)
