On the site "Beautiful and Successful" today we will talk about how to hold back tears and not cry at the most inopportune moment. Any situation can lead to tears, especially during the period of the female “hormonal storm”. But it is not always appropriate to let them go.
There are women who skillfully manipulate tears, getting indulgences at work or attention in their personal lives.
But what if you don't want anyone to see how upset you are?
Any psychologist will tell you that if you want to cry, then you don’t need to restrain yourself. - This is the body's reaction to stress, emotional discharge, which quickly relieves nervous tension.
Unfortunately, the place, time, and often the pride of the “victim” herself do not always allow this. Just remember how a sobbing sobbing lonely girl looks on the street. It makes passers-by pity and a desire to help. This is at best.
Many people prefer to just stare or even shy away from such a spectacle. Crying in the street is not accepted. It is believed that a person who does not know how to hold back tears from resentment is weak; that there must be a reasonable reason to shed "tears on people."
Holding back tears means staying in shape, with normal makeup, complexion and eye size, coming out of the situation as a winner.
Crying at work means giving rise to gossip. Some recruiters prefer to conduct interviews in a tough style to check whether the applicant is able to work in stressful situations or under pressure (we talked about the so-called).
So, information on how to learn to hold back tears in cold blood can come in handy in the modern world.
trick the brain
There are several ways to force the brain to focus on other sensations and “forget” about emotions:
- Pinch yourself in a sensitive place, such as the inside of your thigh or arm, bite your lip. So the body will focus on physical sensations, and emotions will recede into the background.
- Hold your breath and try to hold out as long as possible, the body will set aside minor matters in order to prepare for a possible emergency.
How to hold back tears when talking - ambulance
In a situation where you have been unfairly offended, and a lump rises to the throat, the site recommends using several techniques to restrain sobs:
- Inhale slowly, fully focusing on the process of inhalation and exit.
- Switch your attention to something else, there must be many small details. For example, remember the multiplication table or mentally recite your favorite poem, remember the phone number of a colleague or count the leaves on a flower branch.
- Drink water - slowly, in small sips, concentrating on the process.
- Your task is to reduce the intensity of stress at the moment when tears come to the throat. You can effectively relieve tension with a few sharp movements. Walk around the room, open the window, move the chair.
- If possible, try to immediately leave the room where the conflict occurred. During stress, any word of sympathy or pity from a “third” side is not a way to hold back tears from a sudden offense, but a password that opens “heavenly abysses”.
- Go to the ladies' room and soak your whiskey, forehead, arms to the elbows, neck with cold water. This will help fight stress.
- Keep your eyes open as wide as possible and try not to blink.
- Try to look distantly past people's faces, preferably into the distance.
- Raise your eyebrows high and hold until the emotions subside.
- Raise your eyes up without raising your head.
- Relax the jaw muscles, open and close your mouth wide several times.
How to learn to hold back tears
If the cause of the tears is the person who offended you, for example, an evil boss, then everything must be done so that your resentment against him is firmly replaced by another, no less strong emotion, preferably the opposite.
Imagine how his wife saws him for the Christmas tree that was not taken out in May, how he was teased at school, or how he is afraid of spiders. Resentment will immediately decrease, and you will become more cheerful.
Since it is difficult to hold back tears during an emotional conversation, it is better to do “work on the mistakes” when emotions subside. Think about whether this situation will excite you in six months or a year? No? So there was no point in crying about her.
“Turn on” this question in your head every time you begin to choke sobs. Remember which word or expression caused you negative emotions and emotions? Why did you react like that? Perhaps you didn't like the raised tone? What would your more stress-resistant friend or girlfriend in the sedative commercial do in this situation?
If you get upset and cry too often, then most likely you are not getting enough sleep. Inadequate sleep is a 100% guarantee that at the decisive moment you will not be able to hold back your tears and burst into tears.
It will not be superfluous to also slightly strengthen the nervous system, for example, drink a course of vitamins or supplements with Omega-3 acids.
If you, literally from every little thing, then perhaps you should consult a specialist about the functioning of the thyroid gland. Crying is a way of self-regulation of the body, which will save your spine and pancreas. Therefore, having mastered the technique of how to hold back tears, do not forget to cry well when you are alone so that restrained emotions do not harm you.
Very few people can boast of the ability to cry at the right time. And in order to learn how to cry on purpose and quickly, you must, first of all, study yourself, learn to control your mood. Tears, being an indicator of our state of mind, can be caused by diametrically opposite feelings - sorrow and joy, despair and relief, a nervous breakdown ...
If we consider crying from the point of view of science, then it is, in fact, physiological response to some emotional stimulus. Of course, we all start our lives with crying, but only in adulthood this process can be controlled and acquires an emotional connotation.
How to make yourself cry?
As a rule, tears well up in the eyes because of the desire to receive something. Here they are a means to an end. However, due to the fact that this physiological process is extremely complex, certain efforts are required for its implementation.
On a note! Not always a person cries when tears are so needed. However, you should not be upset - everything in this life is possible! You can learn to cry when you need it, just by learning a few tricks.
You can, for example, find past grievances, sad memories in your memory. Nevertheless, experts assure that training is very important in this matter, which can be confirmed by theater actresses who practice theatrical crying for a long time before going on stage. Besides, it is necessary to remember both the realism of crying and its aesthetics. Indeed, a red nose and streaks of mascara on the cheeks can lead to the opposite effect.
Easiest Ways to Cry Quickly
Let's start with the basics - with onion. The effectiveness of this method is undeniable, but it is not appropriate in all cases. First of all, the onion itself is not always at hand, and its specific smell can give out a “simulant” with a head. But this will not affect the dramatic image in any way!
Also, the eyes can be made watery with irritation. The best incentive is yawn- it can be provoked by straining the muscles of the throat. But from the outside, these efforts will look, to put it mildly, unaesthetic.
You can still for a long time look at one point without blinking. Tears, as you know, are intended to moisten the eyeball, and therefore, if it does not receive moisture in the required amount, tears may come out by themselves. Finally, for quick tears, you can pull out a few hairs from your eyebrow or pinch yourself on the tip of your nose.
Note! A good way to make yourself cry is to use . So you moisten the organs of vision, and shed tears at the required moment.
Table. The trick for theater actors is hot peppers.
| Steps, photo | Description of actions |
|---|---|
| You will need some kind of hot pepper - chili, for example, or jalapeno. |
| Before filming begins (or backstage if performing in a theater), put the prepared pepper in your palm or pocket. |
| Right during the scene - about half a minute before you need to cry - put the pepper in your mouth without anyone noticing. |
| Chew it. You can take very hot peppers for this, but on condition that you tolerate the use of hot foods well. |
| After that, the eyes should start to water. It is better to close them so that tears flow down your cheeks, and then sob. |
| Ready. If everything was done correctly, consider that you played the “tearful” scene believably! |
Advice! Obviously, if you need to say lines during a crying scene, you should not chew during them.
I can't cry, but I really want to. What to do?
In some cases, the mood is such that it would seem that there are no weighty reasons for tears, but they (the reasons) need to be made obvious. Simply put, throw out a "whole sea" of tears. But for this you must understand exactly how you can provoke this process. After all, it often happens that a person, faced with some kind of problem, simply cannot express his inner state with tears.
So psychologists say that crying is an instinctive action, a kind of tool to relieve tension in the body. That is why people say that if you cry, it will become easier. Tears bring not only emotional but also physical relief.
Important information! When a person wants to cry, but cannot do it, he experiences a kind of internal tension that does not allow him to give up. At least that's what psychologists think. Moreover, they assure that, at an unconscious level, he considers the expression of feelings with tears unprofitable or even dangerous.
But such a state is unacceptable, because crying is a natural way to express your feelings. Curiously, the source of these feelings does not have to be negative (remember at least tears of joy), so the absence of tears is already an emotional disturbance, a problem that requires the help of a specialist.
It is believed that such internal "prohibitions" on crying have their own basis, since childhood. To get specific recommendations, it is better to contact a psychotherapist - a specialist will help you identify the source of the problem and successfully eliminate it. But first, you can talk to someone you trust - with your mother, a friend. Or, as an option, use "tearful" songs, films.
Crying for no reason is not just for actors. Below are simple guidelines to help you learn how to do this.
- First of all, focus on the inner state. Stand in front of a mirror, try to relax completely, and then make faces - depict certain emotions on your face. First, depict sadness, then anger, joy, and so on. You can start with any emotion - it's not so important. Act slowly, calmly, be sure to monitor the work of facial muscles. Also, watch what your body wants to do at this moment - lower your head, clench your fists, and the like.
- Focus on sad emotions, because you want to be able to cry for no reason. What causes sadness? Immerse yourself in memories, find those that provoke a sad mood and make you cry. It is recommended to repeat such exercises every day for at least half an hour - so you can feel the interaction of the body and emotions.
- Know how to control your state of mind. You can, as an option, study the facial expressions of a crying person (for example, scroll through the appropriate frame of the film 2-3 times). Then try to reproduce all this on your own face. To make it as natural as possible, remember the state in which you were crying.
- There are additional methods that will help induce tears, but do not affect the internal state.. For example, do not blink for a long time, rub the lower eyelid with menthol oil, use the same bow. Or the simplest - a handkerchief that is soaked in ammonia.
What can cause tears
In addition to the methods described above, there are other effective means. Let's get acquainted with them.
"Tearful" films
There are a lot of films that can make you cry - there are even those, when watching which the sensual mood rolls over the representatives of the strong half of humanity. Such films awaken sincerity, tenderness, empathy in the most unemotional individuals. If the actors play realistically, then you will live every moment of the life of the main characters. And, of course, not without tears.
It can be, for example, the tape "White Bim, black ear." The picture is old, but even if you look at it only once, its touching moments will remain in your memory for a long time.
There is also a more modern film - "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas". He tells about the naive and gratuitous friendship of the son of a concentration camp commandant with a Jewish boy. Do not forget about such film masterpieces as "The Dawns Here Are Quiet", "War", "Cuckoo", etc.
love pictures
The best option if you just want to cry is melodramatic tapes about love. There are many of these too, but the undisputed leader is, of course, the Titanic. We also recommend paying attention to "Hurry to love", "Three meters above the sky" ... You can list for a long time, but each of you probably has personal preferences. In short, choose the right movie, relax and start watching - so you can cry without any serious effort.
Suitable songs
Music also greatly affects our inner state. Favorite songs evoke feelings associated with the specific situation in which they were heard. Even a cheerful composition can be associated with sad moments of life, which means it can make you cry.
If songs like this don't come to mind, look to movie soundtracks to tap into associative memory. A vivid example is the song "My heart will go on", the main soundtrack of the aforementioned movie "Titanic".
On a note! Not only the song, but also its words can make you cry. They are as important as the music itself.
standing books
The printed word awakens the strongest feelings, makes you cry and rejoice, experience happiness and universal sorrow. In a word, a great emotional shake-up. A classic example is Three Comrades. Or, alternatively, "Jane Eyre", the famous work of Charlotte Brontë.
Heartbreaking photos
They allow you to feel someone else's grief, hopelessness. A great option is pictures of homeless animals, children from an orphanage.
As you can see, there are many ways to cry quickly. If you want, you can achieve great heights in the "wet" case and learn how to manage your emotions. It just takes persistence and a bit of patience. But psychologists assure that it is better to achieve this by other methods based on positive emotions.
Video - How to learn to cry
All people cry from time to time. However, there are times when you can and should cry, and there are times when you need to be able to hold back your tears, but you still cry.
If you are wondering how to contain such emotions, this information is just for you. But at the same time, remember that the old stereotypes that tears are a purely female emotional reaction are all in the past. Everyone is crying these days. In fact, it is sometimes helpful as crying balances your emotions and relieves stress.
Of course, there are moments in life when you do not want someone to see your tears. Fair. You decide when, where and for how long you do it, right? But if you do not know how to control your tears, then sometimes everyone sees them when you do not want them at all.
If you want to know how not to cry in the most inopportune situations, here are 13 tips to help you hold back your tears.
Breathe
Everything is exactly the same as in the movies. Just breathe deeply. Now it's our turn to tell you about it! Focus on your breathing, take long, deep breaths. If you have trouble concentrating and you can hardly breathe because of excitement, try to focus on someone else's breathing.
pinch yourself
Crying is always very difficult to control because it is a psychological response to a given situation. So you can control him by using physical force to divert attention. If you want to know how to stop crying, pinch yourself. Surprisingly, this will distract you and focus on the physical pain instead. However, be careful not to overdo it with your efforts. All you need is one solid nail prick or pinch.
Tighten your muscles
If you want to control your tears, try tensing your muscles. When people cry, it means they feel passive and helpless. Therefore, you must do the opposite. When you tense your muscles, you will feel more confident and thus won't cry.
Drink something cold
This is kind of weird advice when it comes to not crying at inopportune moments, but it really works. Your tears are stimulated by the facial nerve. So all that needs to be done is to stimulate the facial nerve with another sensation.
You need to pour yourself a glass of cold water and drink as if you were dying of thirst. This will stimulate the endings of the facial nerve and at the same time divert your attention from the unpleasant news that is about to make you cry.
Step back
Obviously, there is something in your environment that upsets you. So, if you can, try to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. Try to avoid moments that will trigger these emotions, at least for a while, until you calm down. It's not worth it.
Pay attention to your thoughts
What makes you cry? Why do you cry when you see someone cheating on someone or when your dog licks your face? Perhaps some childhood memories evoke these emotions? Ask yourself these questions so you can figure out what's upsetting you so much. That way, the next time the situation is the same, you will recognize the triggers.
Take your eyes off to the side
It may sound and look a bit odd, but if it works, why not? Look away, switch your attention to someone else. It can actually help you hold back your tears. Of course, people around you may throw strange looks in your direction, but keep looking around until you calm down. Do whatever you can to help keep you from crying.
physical movements
Don't sit in your chair - that will only make things worse. You need to get up and move around, for example, you can clean the room or go for a coffee break. Keep moving, because that's the only way you can distract yourself. Your main goal is to run away from bad thoughts.
Try to push the lump out of your throat
You know what it's about. This com is causing all the problems. When you are about to cry, you may feel it build up in your throat. You need to get rid of this barrier as soon as possible if you do not want to burst into tears. So, take a couple of sips of water, hold a little in your mouth and sip slowly.
Don't listen to happy music
You probably thought that positive music would not be on this list, but often it is such melodies that bring tears. It is best to listen to sad music. This will help you sort out your emotions and calm down.
Think about the future
Perhaps you just broke up with your partner or lost your job. If you can't stop crying at this moment, think about the future and tell yourself that everything will be fine. You may worry deep down, but it will help you look to the future, not the current situation.
Talk
It may seem a little strange, but when you feel like you're about to cry, just talk to yourself. Yes, it probably looks weird, but it really helps to calm down, especially if you have no one else to talk to. If you have friends, talk to them about how you feel. Verbal release of emotions can prevent tears from flowing from the eyes.
Let it all out
Over time, you will learn to hold back your tears, but at some point you will need to let out everything that has boiled up, everything that you have been hiding inside for so long. It makes no sense to keep these negative feelings inside. Find a place where you feel comfortable crying.
Take a warm bath or watch a sad movie. It doesn't matter how you want it to turn out, just do it. In the morning you will feel much better.
While it's important to get rid of these emotions, sometimes you just don't want to or shouldn't. So, try some of these tips for not crying the next time you feel like tears are about to come out.
First, try each of these methods separately, determine the most effective for yourself. And then you can already experiment, combining two methods or more, everything will depend, so to speak, on the complexity of the situation. The main thing is not to cry at the most inopportune moment, and you are striving for this. Learn to control your emotions when needed.
The first thing you can try to do is try not to think about the things that make you cry. The more you think about them, the more you want to cry. Think, for example, about your work or study. Engage yourself in a problem that requires your maximum concentration. For example, try mentally multiplying two or three digit numbers, or just keep count of all the objects around you. However, do not think about things that make you tender. They can lead to tears, which in your case will only worsen the situation.Control yourself
Crying is most often directly related to emotional experiences. Therefore, the natural way to prevent tears is to control yourself. Try to calm down, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly and through your nose. This will help you release the tension that occurs just before crying and stabilize your emotional state. You can try counting to 10 by alternating between inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. This will help you to move away from negative thoughts as much as possible.Physical activity
To prevent crying, you can also distract yourself with physical movements. Some of them block tears naturally. Try, for example, biting your lips, pinching yourself, or clenching your hands as tightly as possible into a fist. Such physical activity will not let you cry. However, do not bring yourself to pain, it can cause the opposite effect. Sometimes it is easier to hold back tears when they are already coming. At this moment, try to open your eyes as much as possible and raise your eyebrows up. It is almost impossible to cry in this position.Try also to go for a short run outdoors or exercise. The tighter they are, the better. Such activity will lead to the release of endorphins by the body, which will cheer you up, give you vigor and thus keep you from crying.
Lump in the throat
If you are in a stressful situation and are very emotional about it, holding back tears can be extremely difficult. The main problem in this case is the sensation of a lump in the throat, which occurs as a result of the expansion of the glottis in your throat. This leads to nervous tension and encourages crying. To get rid of this feeling, drink a glass of water in small sips. This will help relax the muscles and calm the nerves. If you can't drink, take slow, deep breaths. Try swallowing air, sometimes it helps to soothe your throat.Man is an emotional being, he tends to show feelings and respond to psychological stimuli. However, each person perceives reality differently - someone does not know how to hide their emotions and cries for any reason, while someone's eyes remain dry even in the most difficult life situations. Often too sensitive people perceive tears as a sign of weakness, vulnerability and dream of getting rid of this “vice”. Let's talk about how to learn to hold back tears and whether you really need to do it.
Experienced psychologists recommend using some simple tricks that help you distract yourself from the irritating factor, thereby preventing your own emotional upset. So, how to hold back tears in a stressful situation? It is recommended to switch your thoughts to some other minor issue. For example, try to remember lines from famous poems, birthdays of friends and relatives, mentally repeat the multiplication table, count the birds sitting on a branch outside the window, etc.
Everyone knows the popular wisdom that says that the best defense is an attack. Why not stop feeling sorry for yourself, and start responding to help solve the problem of how to get rid of tears. During a quarrel, you should just think about what makes the interlocutor behave this way? Maybe he has problems in his personal life, he is unhappy or suffers from a psychological disorder. You can also mentally imagine the offender in a ridiculous outfit or unnatural appearance - in a clown costume or in the form of a toad, for example.
Too sensitive girls often worry about their born children in the womb, and think about how tears affect pregnancy. Naturally, the baby feels mother's anxiety and her depressed mood, so women in position should especially protect themselves from negative emotions. In this case, psychologists recommend simply avoiding the conflict - in the literal sense, leaving the room in which the irritant is present without any explanation and doing pleasant things - go shopping for children, eat your favorite dessert in a cafe, watch a comedy film.
Before looking for a way to get rid of tears, it is worth considering - is it really necessary? After all, thanks to crying, emotional discharge is made, relief comes. Perhaps it is the offenders who need to think about how to cause tears in themselves so as not to spoil the lives of others? There is no need to engage in self-flagellation, it is better to release the negativity with the help of tears than in other ways. However, if excessive tearfulness prevents you from living and feeling like a full-fledged person, then it is better to consult a psychologist, and also check the health of the nervous and endocrine systems - maybe the whole thing is an excess of hormones?
