Female adultery is a very common phenomenon. In our society, it is generally accepted that wives cheat much less often than husbands. But, let's not forget that men tend to exaggerate their victories, and women - to underestimate.
Many women, having cheated on their soul mates, carefully hide this fact, since they do not at all intend to get divorced and destroy the family. In order to understand why the wife cheats, but does not leave the family, it is necessary to find out the reasons for such behavior. And only having determined the “root of the problem”, you can begin to solve it and normalize family relations.
The main reasons for female infidelity
The nature of female adultery is quite multifaceted. It is more complex and radically different from the male. Here, “instincts” play a very insignificant role, and the lack of self-realization, attention, dissatisfaction with moral and physical desires is of paramount importance. In most cases, the reason for this behavior of a woman is her husband.
There are a number of reasons why a wife cheats, but does not leave the family
Indifference.
Over time, women become offended that their husbands do not pay them due attention. The fact is that a man is a hunter by nature. It is important for him to win the girl, to catch her in his nets and seek favor. But, after marriage, most often, children appear. And at this moment, the man begins to look at his wife with different eyes. Often he loses interest in her and ceases to notice his wife. The wife gets the feeling that she is no longer interesting to her husband, and from a once sexy and attractive girl, she has become for her husband - just the mother of his child. A woman feels indifference very well. And at that moment, another man appears on the horizon, who finds common topics for conversation, shows interest in her family problems, listens attentively to her plans for life. Here is the first reason why wives cheat on their husbands - women need an emotional connection with a man.
Why doesn't she leave? The reason is the same: children, family, husband as such. Often this is explained by the phrase: "Well, where will I leave him." And really, where? It is possible that she still loves him, is glad to see him, even plans a joint future, but with one caveat - she still needs emotions and attention, and it doesn’t matter where she gets them.
Advice for husbands: often show small signs of attention to your soul mates. Stop living according to the scheme: "Flowers - for March 8, perfume - for a birthday, a certificate - for the new year." Listen to her, pamper her, spend time together.
Family problems.
Women, agreeing to get married, assume that their husbands will solve financial and domestic issues. But in reality, the situation develops in a completely different way, which leads to a constant, protracted conflict. Do not blame all the sins of men. If there are problems in the family, then the fault lies with both spouses. But the husband is mostly to blame. He becomes the head of the family and must take on many difficult tasks. In real life, it is women's shoulders that are responsible for solving all domestic problems. And if a man cannot or does not want to cope with his duties, the woman begins to look for a replacement for him. This is another reason why wives cheat on their husbands.
What is the point of keeping the family together in this case? The cheating wife decides to remain a wife, because she is already accustomed to such a model of life, she knows how to “carry everything on herself”, sometimes she even feels sorry for her husband or feels her duty to stay with him, being afraid to leave him at a difficult moment in life.
Advice for husbands: the phrase: “Your problems, solve it yourself” can lead to disastrous consequences. Some of the options that a woman chooses to solve her problems will not please men. Therefore, never refuse to help your wives and support them in every possible way. And if you cannot solve some problem at the moment, then you need to tell your wife in detail about your experiences and ask her to wait a bit. At the very least, show your spouse that you are interested and willing to help.
Dissatisfaction with sexual life.
The notion that sex is only for men is deeply mistaken. Intimate intimacy with your partner is just as necessary for women as for their soul mates. In women after 30 years, the period of greatest sexual activity begins, therefore, on the basis of intimacy, once every few months, a woman's desire to cheat on her husband is strengthened (and often realized).
The decision to stay with her husband is most often due to love and. There is a clear internal distinction between family and sexual life. Sometimes, flirting, women begin to deny the fact of infidelity, explaining this by physical needs that the husband cannot satisfy.
Advice for husbands: not only women should look for options on how to satisfy their men, diversify their sex life, what to bring in something new. Men should also think about how they can make a woman happier and intimate relationships more interesting.
Unfounded jealousy.
Obsessive thoughts materialize. This applies to any area of human life. For example, if a husband constantly unreasonably suspects his wife of cheating, most likely she will cheat on him over time. This will happen because of resentment and offended dignity. Then you can search for a long time for an answer to the question of why your beloved wife cheated, or vice versa, with annoying glee to admit that he was right (“I knew it”). Only, perhaps, the man is involved in the betrayal of his wife in this case?
Women don't cheat out of spite. But you can push her to change. Often, after cheating, for this reason, a woman remains in the family because of an elementary unwillingness to change something in life. There is a husband, there is a lover - everything suits her. And the fact that the husband is aware of the betrayals - he wanted it so much!
Advice for husbands: try to trust your soulmate and respect her personal life. Even if she is constantly surrounded by men, this does not mean at all that she will certainly begin to cheat with them. Whether a wife will change or not, does not depend on whether her husband will be jealous of her and check his every step. It is important to understand here: if she wants to, she will change, no matter how targeted control she is.
Monotony can destroy even the strongest relationship.
At the beginning of a relationship, men beautifully look after their chosen ones. They come up with a lot of entertainment to surprise a companion, to win her over. But after the wedding, men calm down, and signs of attention become monotonous and predictable. Days smoothly flow into monotonous and boring years. As a result, women begin to think about how to make their lives more interesting. And if there are no initiatives from the husband, then why not accept an offer from an interesting gentleman?
There are two reasons to stay in the family in this case: love and a habit formed over the years. Such a woman lives with former warm memories and common family plans for the future. In the present, she “just gets new emotions.”Advice to men: if you think why your wife is cheating, but does not leave you, analyze your life together. Bring some unpredictability into your relationship. Try coming home from work with flowers, or suggest not cooking dinner today, but going to a restaurant. Do not turn your life into a dull swamp.
No matter how strong and self-sufficient a woman is, she will subconsciously expect attention, care and support from a man. And if you are also romantic and unpredictable, she will not even think about changing. Because... why?
How do women interpret cheating?
Many wives cheat on their husbands, but are completely unprepared to divorce them. They simply succumb to momentary weakness, which is a breath of fresh air for them. To the question why a cheating wife does not leave her husband, several answers can be given:
- She still loves her husband.
- The family has children or joint property that binds the couple.
In any case, a man who has learned about his wife's infidelity must first of all calm down, find the reasons for female infidelity and try to understand why the cheating wife does not leave him. If the reason is love, then it makes sense to try to forgive such a spouse. If the reason is only in children or in an apartment (joint mortgage, public opinion, material and moral convenience), then it makes no sense to save the marriage.
Why did your beloved wife cheat, if you did everything for her, you can during a frank conversation with your soulmate. Try not only to listen to what she tells you, but also to understand her words (without psychos, outright accusations, condemnations, and especially assault). Some logical conclusions about the cause of infidelity can be drawn from non-verbal signs. Look at how she behaves, watch her gestures, facial expressions, posture during a conversation. All decisions made regarding divorce or the preservation of the family must be carefully considered. After talking with the cheater, take a few days to think and distance yourself from her. Such behavior will allow both partners to adequately get out of an unpleasant situation.
The man went to another - a banal story in which he looks guilty. Is that so? What is the real reason for the discord? Why do men leave after so many years of marriage and leave their wives and children behind? Older people say: “A wise woman has a strong family,” and since men seek happiness on the side, they do not get it at home. Let's try to figure out what is the reason for such actions.
A man leaves his wife: reasons
From what wives and why do men leave?
Psychologists have identified the reasons that make a man think about divorce. Some reasons can only be at the everyday level, others relate to relationships at a higher level. But all together they can be fatal.
Cheating wife
Even if the guilty person repents of his act and vows not to do this, trust in him is lost forever, he is replaced by jealousy, resentment, constant suspicion. Will a loving man leave in such a situation? Most likely, over time, the family will break up, because, justifying and even forgiving betrayal, it is impossible to forget what happened.
Sexual dissatisfaction
Sex is an important part of a relationship. If the spouses do not match in temperament and preferences, over time the husband will pay attention to other women who are ready to give him what he so passionately desires, but does not receive from his wife. In the family, a man is able to keep love, tender feelings for his wife and children, a sense of duty, until the lover is active and makes him take a decisive step.
Negative family environment
Constant quarrels and scandals, demands and claims will infuriate anyone. Even the most patient husband will one day decide that enough is enough and leave, slamming the door, the woman's fault in this situation is not obvious. The main claims are lack of money and lack of attention, and the culprit is a man who has not coped with the role of the main earner in the family and an attentive husband. Often the cause of scandals lies deeper and lies in sexual dissatisfaction, but women intuitively look for other reasons to express dissatisfaction. As a result, the man leaves his wife, tired of pressure, accusations, screaming and tears. He is looking for silence, peace and understanding and finds it in a relationship with another.
Lack of attention
Few women know that men need attention and care no less than they do. No matter how strong he is, he wants to feel loved and needed, lacks tenderness and reverent relationships. Care at the household level is not enough. Ironed shirts and a delicious dinner will not replace caresses, hugs and declarations of love. How often women expect this from a man, not trying to give the same in return.
Wife's ugly face
A man spends a lot of time in the service surrounded by well-groomed and stylish women. Arriving home, he sees a plump wife wrapped up in everyday life in an old tracksuit or bathrobe, with a ridiculous bun or ponytail, who has forgotten what manicure, makeup and heels are. Watching this every day, any man will go to the former or start an affair on the side.
A woman forced to stay at home with a child and run the household finds excuses for herself. She does not have enough time for herself, she does not have money for beauty salons and fitness, she has no one to dress up for, because her husband does not pay attention to her and does not bring her out into the light.
By doing this, the wife closes a vicious circle, not understanding what provokes her husband's betrayal and leaving home.
Wife's inability to cook and create comfort
This is one of the rare reasons for a husband to leave the family. If the wife suits the rest of the criteria, he can put up with the mess for a long time and eat semi-finished products. He will find a compromise and spend more time outside the home, eat with his mother, in a restaurant, or start cooking and cleaning himself.
But that doesn't mean the problem has gone away. If difficulties arise in other areas of married life, she will remind of herself and become the last straw. The result - a man goes to his ex-wife, mother or new lover.
It is worth mentioning other slightly less common reasons for a husband to leave:
- the high status of the wife and the size of her salary in comparison with the position of the spouse;
- regular whining, tears and complaints about life;
- invasion of personal space, bans on meeting friends and hobbies;
- contemptuous attitude and comparison with other men;
- discussion with friends and parents of the details of family and intimate life.
The man went to the former: an analysis of the situation
Why does a man leave his wife? We draw a conclusion!
So, it’s safe to say that a loving man will not leave the family if he and his wife have an excellent relationship, they suit and satisfy each other in bed, there are no lies, betrayal and betrayal in their lives, they have an honest, trusting and tender relationship . It is important to understand that men go to the former or seek to create a new family only when the situation seems hopeless to them.
They no longer believe that everything will change, peace and tranquility will come at home, and the wife will become different. Often in such cases, the active actions of another woman become the catalyst for the breakup of the family. But no matter how we blame the homeowner, the wife is responsible for leaving the husband from the family.
What to do so that the husband does not leave for another?
Every woman needs to remain attractive and interesting to her husband. This means that it is important to take care of yourself, be active in sex, and not provoke quarrels and scandals. It is better to share bad mood and personal problems with friends and parents, and not with your husband. But do not discuss family life with them. Leave your husband personal space or become his friend by sharing hobbies and hobbies. If the relationship deteriorates and the husband has cooled off, urgently look for the cause of the discord. Do not hesitate, this is not a midlife crisis, not a young attractive employee or problems at work, the reason is you and she is near you at home.
When wondering why men leave and how to prevent this, look at yourself in the mirror, analyze your behavior and family relationships over the past years or months. It is much easier to prevent problems or eliminate them at an early stage. Show sensitivity and attention, but do not become suspicious. The only thing that can help you fix the situation and get the relationship back on track is a calm, honest and frank conversation with your spouse, not a scandal. Talk to each other more often, do not withdraw into yourself, make it a rule to jointly look for solutions to problems, without bringing them to a critical point.
Remember: you are a single whole and must act together
Our expert talks about the strange trend of recent years and persuades women not to break old relationships for the sake of new sensations.
Why do women leave good husbands? Photo: Lori.ru.
“Of course, your husband has his shortcomings! If he were a saint, he would never marry you,” Dale Carnegie once said. I really like this Carnegie saying, because women who are unhappy in marriage most often put all the blame for it on a man and very rarely see their shortcomings. But if you, dear ladies, at least once, at least mentally, change roles with your half, I assure you, many words and actions of your husbands will become absolutely clear to you.
This article prompted me to write an amazing fact. Recently, wives who have good husbands began to come to see me: caring, loving, patient, but ... it became terribly boring with them. Sex is familiar, relationships are even, but there is not enough sharpness, zest, passion, and then He turns up. Young or not, with or without an apartment, educated or hard-working, it doesn't matter. Most importantly, it's NEW! Like a dress, a bag, shoes… He dresses differently, speaks differently, smells… And sex with him is also unusual, bright, incomparable to marital… And how noble, honest, etc. he is - the list is endless . Every woman in love will always find something to admire.
One of my clients, describing the character of her lover, said with pleasure: “My God, how harmful he is! He does everything to spite me! He does the opposite! And at the same time I listened and wondered, what are you waiting for next? If now, at the forefront of relationships, he is like that, what will he be like later, when the novelty of feelings passes, life gets stuck, problems appear? But in a fit of our feelings, we do not think about it! It seems to us that true love has finally come, which means it will be eternal, and ahead is only joy and happiness. And in pursuit of this, we destroy everything on the way, without hesitation, we step over the family, children, parents. And then what?
I can't help but remember one amazing incident. A 38 year old woman came to see me. Quite interesting, self-confident, but at the same time with a completely shattered psyche. Answering any question, she immediately began to cry. In the end, the following picture emerged. She has a husband. Good, reliable, loving. But at work, she met another man, 15 years younger. A stormy romance ensued. My client was ready to destroy the family and go to her lover. But then the unexpected happened. The young man lost his speech due to nervousness. She began to take him to doctors, buy medicines, pay for treatment. But doctors did not give consoling forecasts. It was in a state of complete confusion, fear and uncertainty that this woman came to me. She was ready to leave her husband and become a nurse for a man 15 years younger than herself, with no education, no job, no home. What do you think is the development of this novel? You can, of course, assume that love works wonders. The young man was cured, graduated from the institute, found a job and was forever grateful to his savior and loved her for the rest of his life ... But it could be completely different. We considered different options, but the choice still remained with my client, and I sincerely wish her not to make a fatal mistake.
In our country, about 70% of divorces occur at the initiative of women. However, not everyone remarries. Of course, if the husband is a drug addict, a sadist or an alcoholic, then the question of divorce is not even worth it. It must be a firm and unambiguous decision. Otherwise, your life will turn into a series of nightmarish events that always end tragically. And the opinion of women in love that it is they who will save their beloved from some kind of addictions is deeply erroneous. You will either acquire the same habits, or in the eternal struggle you will waste your strength, youth, health. Isn't the pay too high? Therefore, today we are talking about why women leave good husbands, not wanting to save their marriage.
According to statistics, educated women with good jobs and salaries are most often filed for divorce. But in order to have a good job and a high salary, such a woman must tirelessly build her career, often to the detriment of her family. And good husbands, for the sake of their spouses, put up with this, either by shouldering all the household chores and raising children, or by hiring nannies and housekeepers. Family roles are shifting. The wife becomes the earner, taking on all the commanding functions, and the husband is slowly losing ground and ... finally losing his beloved. In her eyes, he is a weakling, a loser and a dead man. But didn’t the woman herself create such a family model with her own hands?
She is used to earning money, making decisions, being independent. And that means lonely. Because the family is a partnership, it is a team game, and there are no bosses and subordinates in it. But how difficult it is at home for a successful businesswoman to become a loving, caring woman. So people around are surprised: both beautiful, and smart, and rich, but alone. And what else do men need? And men need to be around just a good person. Understanding, sincere, sincere. After all, you do not live with a model, leader or beauty queen, but with a person. But women, in the pursuit of their values, lose the most precious thing - their family. And now a nice colleague has already appeared at work. First glances, smiles, again, as in youth, the heart beats, and when you remember kisses, your head spins and sweetly freezes inside. And now the old husband begins to just enrage. Socks scattered around the apartment, talking loudly on the phone, the habit of not lowering the toilet seat - everything causes irritation and discontent. And the more we get angry at our husband, the more points our new chosen one scores. “I can’t see how he eats, chews, breathes, how he is constantly looking for car keys ...” - I regularly hear these words at receptions. But do you have a guarantee that, having broken your family and left your husband, you will find your happiness? After all, soon everything will be the same. Interest in the beloved object will gradually weaken, his bad habits will also come out, often more nasty than those of the old husband, he will move into your apartment, there will be problems with children ... Then why did the spears break?
There is another option if a woman goes to a richer and more successful than her ex-husband. But she does not even suspect what awaits her. Here, with the distribution of roles, everything is clear. And already he decides where to live, with whom to be friends, where to go on vacation - on the simple basis that he is a man who supports a woman. Is an independent lady ready to change her character so quickly? I am not sure.
Then is it worth ruining everything for the sake of unclear prospects and dubious pleasures? Is the one you married so hopeless? After all, you once loved him, dreamed of a family, hoped for happiness. What has changed? Do not blame your husband for everything, be honest, what did you do wrong, what are your mistakes? And try to save your marriage. At stake is not only your further well-being, peace of mind, confidence in the future, but most importantly - your children, who will be happy all their lives because mom and dad were there in their childhood.
What to do for this? Tips are simple:
1. Think and honestly admit to yourself what you gain by destroying a family, and what you lose. Take a piece of paper and write down all the pros and cons. I assure you, you will understand a lot.
2. Try to start with yourself in rebuilding a relationship with your husband - start with a simple smile. You don't have to do anything - just smile more often and you will see the power of a smile.
3. Make your husband feel like a man again. Let at least something be the way he wants. Try it - sometimes it's nice to be weak.
4. Try not to fix your other half. Occupation is nervous and unpromising.
5. Make a final decision only after you realize that your marriage cannot be saved.
I sincerely hope that maybe this article will help someone save their marriage, and I wish all women not to be lonely and remember: “The family where women grieve quickly dies. The family where they are happy always prospers.
Most of the fair sex put the institution of the family in the first place their life values. Finding a man with whom you would like to spend your whole life, give birth and raise a child from him and create comfort in the house is what many want. In fact, the fair sex is primarily interested in the man himself, because it depends on what the family will be like.
Many believe that it is the husband who should be the head of the family and make all the important decisions himself. And now you have created a strong family, it seemed that everything is fine with you, but suddenly she suddenly leaves, sometimes explaining her decision, and sometimes simply by slamming the doors. For a woman to leave the family, it is important to make enough efforts and disappoint her, although some decide to leave simply of their own free will. Your attention is invited to a thorough analysis of this problem, so that you can understand for yourself why wives leave families.
1. Alcoholism. Sometimes men allow themselves to relax with friends on the day off over a glass of beer, but often this becomes systematic, which can be considered alcoholism. Every normal woman wants to see next to her a person who can be relied upon and who can be trusted. A man who is spaciously in a state of intoxication evokes the only desire - to leave the family.
Often not even an obstacle having common children, his financial condition or love. A woman simply understands that she will not be able to live with him, so she will have to make every effort to start all over again. At first she will talk for a long time about how tired she is of this, she will ask for the good of the family to change her habits, and then she will simply leave. Each representative of the stronger sex must make a choice for himself and understand what is dearer and more important to him.
2. Violence. There is a category of men who regularly use physical force in relation to their own. Some do it in order to assert themselves, others - to raise an obedient wife. In any case, such actions are illegal, but there are those women who are willing to endure. Domestic violence is a common problem that needs to be addressed.
Hard re-educate a man, but you can leave the family and find your happiness with another person. Sometimes it seems that the situation is hopeless, so many stay with their husband and endure his humiliation and violence. And there are strong women who are sure that the honor and dignity of a person are important values. Therefore, realizing that she cannot change anything in relations with her husband, she simply leaves. Few can tolerate violence, so a man should always remember this before he raises his hand to his beloved wife.
3. Treason. Men part change, it's a fact. There are also two categories of women here: those who are ready to forgive and reconcile and those who leave immediately after learning that their husband has betrayed. Cheating is a decisive factor for many wives, because they want to see a faithful and loving husband next to them, who will be in the family, and not somewhere on the side.
When wife finds out about her husband's infidelity, it is always a shock for her, but someone quickly comes to his senses and takes a decisive step, while someone cannot decide what to do for years. If a man wants to save his family and ensure that his beloved is always with him, you should not even think about betrayal. Sometimes, in an attempt to hide the fact, men do not even realize that even strangers can report cheating. Women value attention and love, so it is very important for them to ensure that their beloved is faithful.
4. Indifference. Every woman loves when a man constantly gives her gifts, shows affection and love, appreciates and adores. All this is for her an integral part of a happy family life. When a woman gets married, she expects that her beloved will always be as affectionate and loving as at the beginning of the relationship, but something changes, and she realizes that this is not the person she needs. A man over time just gets used to it and relaxes, he simply does not understand how important it is for a woman to constantly show attention.
When there is children, then a woman can somehow come to terms with this, because she doesn’t seem to be cheating and earns money, but if the marriage is based solely on relationships, it is likely that she will leave. It is possible that on her way she will meet someone else who shows more affection and love. Making a choice is not so easy, but when she feels the difference, she immediately understands that there is no point in staying with an indifferent husband. Perhaps she will simply change, but most likely, she will begin to search for something that will give her everything that her husband forgets about.
5. His unwillingness to have children. Of course, there are exceptions, but almost all women dream of having a baby. Men are not always ready to firmly say that they want to continue the race right now, so family conflicts arise. So they got married, they have an excellent relationship and perfect mutual understanding, but at some point she announces that she wants to have a baby, but he is not ready.
For some time woman will plead, argue and talk about the happy experience of her friends, but this will not continue for long. If she firmly decided that she wanted to give birth to a child, she would not get this thought out of her head anywhere. Of course, you can spend a lot of time on discussions, thereby delaying the moment, but there is a high probability that one day she will leave. A man must understand that if he decides to get married, then the income will be ready for the birth of a child.
6. His financial failure. Sometimes even the strongest love dies due to problems with. Sometimes a woman understands this very well and tries with all her might to make good money, but what if he does not strive for the best? Many men have forgotten how to earn money, but do not understand how important it is for the family.
If wife will constantly spend her money on food and buying goods for the house, then it is likely that she will not have any left for herself. In the end, she realizes that she needs to look for a more reliable person who wants to fight and work for the happiness of the family. Therefore, the financial insolvency of a man or his unwillingness to grow up is often the reason for his wife to leave the family.
7. Problems with wife's parents. For almost all women, relationships with parents are very important. After the wedding, she begins to actively work to ensure that her husband and her parents become good friends, but something goes wrong and the relationship does not work out. Perhaps these are minor conflicts, that there are often whole quarrels and scandals.
The man rarely shows prudence and steps aside, often he not only focuses on the conflict, but also sets his wife against her own parents. As a result, the woman decides that she has only one parents, and there are many men, so she leaves, choosing her beloved mom and dad.
