Words for a civil memorial service for a young guy. What they say at the wake

A funeral is a place where the spirit of the deceased is present, where the living and the afterlife come into contact. At the funeral, you should be extremely circumspect and careful. No wonder they say that pregnant women should not go to funerals. It is easy to drag an unborn soul into the afterlife.

Funeral.
According to Christian rules, the deceased should be buried in a coffin. In it, he will rest (be stored) until the next resurrection. The grave of the deceased must be kept clean, respectful and tidy. After all, even the Mother of God was placed in a coffin, and the coffin was left in the grave until the day when the Lord called His Mother to Himself.

The clothes in which a person died should not be given to one's own or to strangers. Basically they burn it. If relatives are against this and want to wash clothes and lay them down, then this is their right. But it should be remembered that these clothes are by no means worn for 40 days.

WARNING: FUNERAL...

The cemetery is one of the dangerous places, this place is often damaged.

And often it happens unconsciously.
Magicians recommend keeping in mind a few practical tips and warnings, then you will be reliably protected

• A woman came to a healer and said that after she threw out the bed of the deceased (sister) on the advice of a neighbor, serious problems began in her family. She shouldn't have done that.

• If you see the deceased in a coffin, do not automatically touch your body - tumors may appear that will be difficult to cure.

• If you meet someone you know at a funeral, greet them with a nod of your head, not a touch or a handshake.

• While there is a dead person in the house, you should not wash the floors and sweep them, you can thus call trouble on the whole family.

• Some recommend putting needles crosswise on his lips to save the body of the deceased. It won't help save the body. But these needles can fall into bad hands and will be used to induce damage. It is better to put a bunch of sage grass in the coffin.

• For candles, you need to use any new candlesticks. It is especially not recommended to use the dishes from which you eat, even used empty canning jars, for funeral candles. It is better to buy new ones, and after using them, get rid of them.

• Never put photographs in the coffin. If you follow the advice, “so that he himself is not” and bury a photo of the whole family with the deceased, then soon all the captured relatives run the risk of following the deceased.

source

FUNERAL SIGNS AND RITUALS.

Many beliefs and rituals are associated with the death and subsequent burial of the dead. Some of them have survived to this day. But do we suspect their true meaning?
According to Christian custom, the dead man should lie in the grave with his head to the west and his feet to the east. So, according to legend, the body of Christ was buried.
Even in relatively recent times, there was the concept of a "Christian" death. It meant obligatory repentance before death. In addition, cemeteries were arranged at church parishes. That is, only members of this parish could be buried in such a churchyard.

If a person died "without repentance" - say, took his own life, became a victim of murder or an accident, or simply did not belong to a particular parish, then a special burial procedure was often established for such deceased. For example, in large cities they were buried twice a year, on the feast of the Intercession of the Virgin and on the seventh Thursday after Easter. Special places called Wretched Houses, pitiful, buffaloes, pustules or skulnitsy . There they set up a barn and arranged a huge common grave in it. The bodies of those who died a sudden or violent death were brought here - of course, provided that there was no one who could take care of their burial. And at that time, when there was no telephone, telegraph and other means of communication, the death of a person on the road could mean that relatives would never hear about him again. As for the wanderers, the beggars, the executed, they automatically fell into the category of "clients" of the Wretched Houses. Suicides and robbers were also sent here.
During the reign of Peter the Great, anatomized corpses from hospitals began to be brought to skudelnitsa. By the way, both illegitimate and orphans from the shelters kept at the Wretched Houses were buried there - such was the practice then ... The guard guarded the dead, called "Holy man" .
In Moscow, there were several similar "depositories": for example, at the Church of John the Warrior, on the street, which was called Bozhedomkoy , at the Church of the Assumption of the Mother of God on Mogiltsy and at the Intercession Monastery on Wretched Houses. On the appointed days, a religious procession with a memorial service was held here. The burial of "those who died without repentance" was funded by donations from pilgrims.
Such a nightmarish practice was stopped only at the end of the 18th century, after Moscow was subjected to a plague epidemic and there was a danger of infection spreading through unburied corpses ... Cemeteries appeared in the cities, and the burial order at church parishes was abolished. There were also many customs, signs and rituals, concerning the farewell of the deceased on his last journey. Among the Russian peasants, the deceased was laid on a bench, with his head in "red corner" where the icons hung, they covered it with a white canvas (shroud), folded their hands on their chest, while the dead man had to “hold” a white handkerchief in his right hand. All this was done so that he could appear before God in a proper form. It was believed that if the dead man's eyes remain open, then supposedly this is for the imminent death of one of his relatives. Therefore, they always tried to close the eyes of the dead - in the old days, copper nickels were placed on them for this.
While the body was in the house, a knife was thrown into a tub of water - this allegedly prevented the spirit of the deceased from entering the room. Until the very funeral, they did not lend anything to anyone - not even salt. Windows and doors were kept tightly closed. While the dead man was in the house, pregnant women could not cross his threshold - this could have a bad effect on the child ... It was customary to close the mirrors in the house so that the dead man would not be reflected in them ...
It was supposed to put underwear, a belt, a hat, bast shoes and small coins in the coffin. It was believed that things could be useful to the deceased in the next world, and the money would serve as payment for transportation to the kingdom of the dead ... True, at the beginning of the 19th century. this custom took on a different meaning. If during the funeral they accidentally dug up a coffin with previously buried remains, then it was supposed to throw money into the grave - a “contribution” for a new “neighbor”. If a child died, they always put a belt on him so that he could collect fruits in his bosom in the Garden of Eden ...
When the coffin was taken out, it was supposed to touch the threshold of the hut and the hallway three times in order to receive a blessing from the deceased. At the same time, some old woman showered the coffin and those accompanying with grains. If the head of the family - the owner or mistress - died, then all the gates and doors in the house were tied with a red thread - so that the household would not leave after the owner.

They buried on the third day, when the soul had to finally fly away from the body. This custom has been preserved even now, as well as the one that orders all those present to throw a handful of earth on the coffin lowered into the grave. The earth is a symbol of purification, in ancient times it was believed that it accepts all the filth that a person has accumulated in his life. In addition, among the pagans, this rite restored the connection of the newly deceased with the whole family.
In Rus', it has long been believed that if it rains during the funeral, the soul of the deceased will fly safely to heaven. Like, if the rain cries for the dead, then he was a good person ...
Modern commemoration was once called a feast. It was a special ritual designed to facilitate the transition to another world. For the feast, special funeral dishes were prepared. Kutya, which is a steeply boiled rice with raisins. Kutia is supposed to be treated at the cemetery immediately after burial. Russian commemoration also cannot do without pancakes - pagan symbols of the Sun.
And today, during the commemoration, they put on the table a glass of vodka, covered with a crust of bread - for the deceased. There is also a belief: if some food fell from the table at the commemoration, then it cannot be picked up - this is a sin.
On the forties, honey and water were placed in front of the icons - so that the life of the deceased in the next world would be sweeter. Sometimes a arshin-long staircase was baked from wheat flour - to help the deceased ascend to heaven ... Alas, now this custom is no longer observed.

The world is changing, and so are we. Many return to the Christian faith for consolation and hope. It has become customary to celebrate Christian holidays.
Christmas, Epiphany, Holy Trinity, Parental Days... However, either through ignorance or for other reasons, old traditions are often replaced by new ones.

Unfortunately, today there are no issues more shrouded in all sorts of conjectures and prejudices than issues related to the burial of the dead and their commemoration.
What will the omniscient old women not say!

But there is the corresponding Orthodox literature, which is not difficult to acquire. For example, in all Orthodox parishes of our city,
brochure "Orthodox commemoration of the dead", in which you can find answers to many questions.
The main thing that we SHOULD understand is that deceased loved ones first of all need
in prayers for them. Thank God, in our time there is a place to pray. In each district,
Orthodox parishes were opened, new churches were being built.

Here is what is said about the memorial meal in the brochure "Orthodox commemoration
deceased:

In the Orthodox tradition, eating food is a continuation of worship. Since early Christian times, relatives and acquaintances of the deceased have gathered together on special days of commemoration in order to ask the Lord in joint prayer for a better fate for the soul of the deceased in the afterlife.

After visiting the church and the cemetery, the relatives of the deceased arranged a memorial meal, to which not only relatives were invited, but mainly the needy: the poor and the needy.
That is, a commemoration is a kind of almsgiving for those who have gathered.

The first course is kutya - boiled wheat grains with honey or boiled rice with raisins, which are consecrated at a memorial service in the temple

There should be no alcohol on the memorial table. The custom of drinking alcohol is an echo of pagan feasts.
Firstly, Orthodox commemoration is not only (and not the main thing) food, but also prayer, and prayer and a drunken mind are incompatible things.
Secondly, on the days of commemoration, we intercede before the Lord for the improvement of the afterlife of the deceased, for the forgiveness of his earthly sins. But will the Chief Justice listen to the words of drunk intercessors?
Thirdly, "drinking is the joy of the soul." And after drinking a glass, our mind dissipates, switches to other topics, grief for the deceased leaves our hearts, and quite often it happens that by the end of the commemoration, many people forget why they have gathered - the commemoration ends with the usual feast with a discussion of everyday problems and political news, and sometimes worldly songs.

And at this time, the languishing soul of the deceased waits in vain for prayer support from their loved ones, And for this sin of mercilessness towards the deceased, the Lord will exact from them at His judgment. What, in comparison with this, is the condemnation from the neighbors for the lack of alcohol on the memorial table?

Instead of the common atheistic phrase "Let the earth rest in peace to him," pray briefly:
“God rest, Lord, the soul of Your newly-departed servant (name), and forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant him the Kingdom of Heaven.”
This prayer must be performed before proceeding to the next dish.

There is no need to remove the forks from the table - there is no point in this.

There is no need to put a cutlery in honor of the deceased, or even worse - to put vodka in a glass with a piece of bread in front of the portrait. All this is the sin of paganism.

Especially a lot of gossip is caused by the curtain of mirrors, supposedly in order to avoid the reflection of the coffin with the deceased in them and thereby protect themselves from the appearance of another deceased in the house. The absurdity of this opinion is that the coffin can be reflected in any shiny object, but you cannot cover everything in the house.

But the main thing is that our life and death does not depend on any signs, but is in the hands of God.

If the commemoration is performed on fast days, then the food should be fast.

If the commemoration fell on the time of Great Lent, then there are no commemorations on weekdays. They are transferred to the next (forward) Saturday or Sunday ...
If the memorial days fell on the 1st, 4th and 7th weeks of Great Lent (the strictest weeks), then the closest relatives are invited to the commemoration.

Memorial days that fell on Bright Week (the first week after Easter) and on Monday of the second Easter week are transferred to Radonitsa - Tuesday of the second week after Easter (Parents' Day).

Commemorations of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days are arranged for relatives, relatives, friends and acquaintances of the deceased. At such a commemoration, in order to honor the deceased, you can come without an invitation. On other days of commemoration, only the closest relatives gather.
It is useful these days to distribute alms to the poor and needy.

Every person on this earth has the two most important events in life - this is birth and death. Between these two events is life.

For one person it is long, for another it is short, but in their lives people tend to drive away the thought of death, thinking that they will live forever. But then death comes, and with it the inevitable bitter chores about the burial of a person dear to you.

Not often, but it happens that a person thinks about his future death and prepares his coffin in advance. Such a product is usually stored in attics. But here there is a small, but very significant "but": the coffin is empty, and since it is made according to the standards of a person, he begins to "pull" him into himself. And a person, as a rule, passes away faster. Previously, to prevent this from happening, sawdust, shavings, grain were poured into an empty coffin. After the death of a person, sawdust, shavings, and grain were also buried in a pit. After all, if you feed a bird with such grain, it will get sick.

When a person has died and a measure is taken from him to make a coffin, in no case should the measure be placed on the bed. It is best to take it out of the house, and put it in a coffin during the funeral.

Be sure to remove all silver items from the deceased: after all, this is exactly the metal that is used to fight "the unclean." Therefore, the latter can "disturb" the body of the deceased.

If there is a dead person in the house, do not start washing. This must be done after the funeral.

When a coffin is made, relatives and friends are forbidden to participate in this. The shavings formed during the manufacture of the coffin are best buried in the ground, in extreme cases, thrown into the water.

The bed on which a person died should not be thrown away, as many do. Take her and take her to the chicken coop, let her lie there for three nights, so that, as the legend says, the rooster will sing her three times.

When the time comes to put the deceased in the coffin, then the body of the deceased and his coffin are sprinkled with holy water outside and inside. You can also sprinkle with incense. Then the body is transferred to the coffin. A whisk is placed on the forehead of the deceased. It is given in the church when the deceased is brought to the funeral service. The mouth of the deceased must be closed, eyes closed, arms folded crosswise on the chest, right over left. The head of a Christian is covered with a large scarf that completely covers her hair, and its ends can not be tied, but simply folded crosswise. A tie should not be worn on a deceased Orthodox Christian. An icon or cross is placed in the left hand of the deceased; for men - the image of the savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God. And you can do this: in the left hand - a cross, and on the chest of the deceased - a Holy image. A pillow, which is usually made of cotton wool, is placed under the feet and head of the deceased. The body is covered with a sheet. The coffin is placed in the middle of the room in front of the icons, turning the face of the deceased with his head towards the icons.

When you see a dead person in a coffin, do not automatically touch your torso with your hands. This is due to the fact that in the place where you took it with your hand, various skin growths in the form of a tumor can grow.

If there is a dead person in the house, then, meeting your acquaintance or relatives there, you should greet with a bow of your head, and not with your voice.

While the deceased is in the house, the floor should not be swept. If you do not follow this advice, then members of your family may soon fall ill, or worse will happen.

During the funeral, you can not visit the graves of relatives and friends located in the same cemetery.

The ritual must be completed to the end for one person.

Do not listen to those people who advise to keep the body of the deceased from decomposition by putting two needles crosswise on his lips. This will not save the body of the deceased, but the needles that were on his lips will surely disappear, they are used to induce damage.

In order to prevent a heavy smell from the deceased, you can put a bunch of sage in his head, the people call it "cornflowers". It also serves another purpose - to drive away "evil spirits". For the same purposes, you can use willow branches, which are sanctified on Palm Sunday and are kept behind the images. These branches can be placed under the deceased.

A man died, his body was put in a coffin, and the bed on which he died has not yet been taken out. Friends or strangers may come up to you with a request to lie on this bed. The argument put forward is the following: so that their back and bones do not hurt. Don't listen to them. Don't harm yourself.

Do not put fresh flowers in the coffin of the dead. For this purpose, use artificial or, in extreme cases, dried.

A candle is lit near the coffin as a sign that the deceased has passed into the realm of light - a better afterlife.

A lamp or a candle is lit in the house, which burns as long as the dead person is in the house.

Instead of a candlestick for candles, glasses are often used, into which wheat is poured. Some people sprinkle others with this wheat and thereby cause damage. This wheat should also not be used for poultry or livestock feed.

Make sure that someone else's things are not placed under the deceased. If you notice this, then you need to pull them out of the coffin and burn them somewhere far away.

It happens when, out of ignorance, some compassionate mothers put photographs of their children in the coffin of their grandparents. After that, the child began to get sick, and if help was not provided in time, a fatal outcome could occur.

You can not give your things to dress the dead. The deceased is buried, and the one who gave his things begins to get sick.

A coffin with a dead person is taken out of the house, and someone is standing near the door and begins to tie knots on rags. He explains this operation to people by tying knots so that no more coffins are taken out of this house. Although the mind of such a person is completely different ...

If a pregnant woman goes to a funeral, she will do harm to herself. A sick child may be born. Therefore, try to stay at home at this time, and you need to say goodbye to your loved one in advance - before the funeral.

When a dead person is carried to a cemetery, in no case should you cross his path, as various tumors may form on your body. If this happened, then you should take the hand of the deceased, always the right one, and run all your fingers over the tumor and read “Our Father”. This must be done three times, after each time spitting over the left shoulder.

When a dead person is carried down the street in a coffin, try not to look out the window of your apartment or house.

The ties that bind the hands and feet of the deceased must be untied and placed in the coffin with the deceased. Otherwise, as a rule, they are used to induce damage.

If you say goodbye to the deceased, try not to step on the towel that is placed in the cemetery near the coffin, so as not to incur damage to yourself.

If you are afraid of the dead, take hold of the legs of the deceased and hold on. This can be done before being placed in the grave.

Sometimes people can throw earth from the grave into their bosoms or by their collars, proving that in this way one can avoid the fear of the dead. Do not believe - this is done to induce damage.

Returning from the funeral, it is imperative to dust off your shoes before entering the house, and also hold your hands over the fire of a lit candle. This is done in order not to bring damage to the home.

The funeral is over, and according to the old Christian custom, water and some food are placed in a glass on the table to treat the soul of the deceased.

Make sure that young children or adults do not inadvertently drink from this glass or eat anything. After such a treat, both adults and children begin to get sick.

During the commemoration, the deceased, according to tradition, is poured a glass of vodka. Do not drink it if someone advises you.

There is a dead person on your street, and you urgently need to plant potatoes. Don't waste your time and effort. If you plant potatoes at a time when the deceased has not yet been buried, do not expect a good harvest.

If you come to the grave of a loved one to tear out grass, paint a fence or plant something, start digging and dig up things that should not be there. In this case, everything that you found must be taken out of the cemetery and burned. When it burns, try not to fall under the smoke, otherwise you can get sick yourself.

Burials on New Year's Eve are a very bad omen: in the coming year, they will bury at least once a month.

The funeral on Sunday predicts three more funerals during the week.

It is dangerous to delay a funeral, for whatever reason. Then one, two or three deaths in the family or in the nearest district will occur within a week or a month.

If the funeral is postponed until next week, then it is certainly unfortunate, because the dead man will try his best to take someone with him.

After the funeral, do not go to any of your friends or relatives to visit.

In the heads of the graves of young men and women, viburnum is planted.

In the first seven days after the death of the deceased, do not take anything out of the house.

Until 40 days, do not distribute the things of the deceased to relatives, friends or acquaintances.

If one of you has died a close or dear person, and you often cry for him, then it is advised to have thistle grass in the house.

When someone dies, try to have only women present.

If the patient is dying hard, then for an easier death, remove a pillow of feathers from under his head. In the villages, the dying person is laid on straw.

To alleviate the death agony of the patient, it is necessary to cover with white material, which will later be used for upholstery of the coffin.

When there is a dead person in the house, in the neighboring houses one should not drink water in the morning, which was in buckets or pots. It must be poured out, and freshly poured.

It is desirable that the washing of the body of the deceased takes place during daylight hours - from sunrise to sunset. Water after ablution must be handled with great care. It is necessary to dig a hole far from the yard, garden and living quarters, where people do not go, and pour everything, to the last drop, into it and cover it with earth. The fact is that very strong damage is done on the water in which the deceased was washed. Therefore, do not give this water to anyone, no matter who turns to you with such a request.

Try not to spill this water around the apartment so that those living in it do not get sick.

Pregnant women should not wash the deceased in order to avoid the illness of the unborn child, as well as women who are menstruating.

As a rule, only elderly women prepare the deceased for their last journey.

The shroud must be sewn on a live thread and always with a needle away from you so that there are no more deaths in the house.

In Rus' in the old days

In the house where the dying man lay, all the keys were taken out of the keyholes and the doors and windows were opened so that the human soul could leave the body without interference. When a person gave his soul to God, he was necessarily washed so that he appeared before the Lord clean in soul and body.

When washing the deceased, strict rules were observed. The deceased was laid with his feet to the stove and washed 2-3 times with warm water and soap from a new clay pot. The water with which the deceased was washed became "dead", and it was poured somewhere far away so that a healthy person would not step on this place, and also so that the sorcerer would not take it for himself to induce damage. They did the same with water, which was used to wash the dishes after the wake and the floors after the removal of the deceased from the house. They also tried to get rid of other attributes of ablution as soon as possible.

In the coffin of the deceased, they put his baptismal pectoral cross, a small icon, a halo on his forehead, candles and a “manuscript” - a written prayer that forgives sins. They give a towel (handkerchief) to the hands so that the deceased can wipe the sweat from his face during the Last Judgment. Who died on Easter - an egg in his hand.

The deceased is usually buried in white clothes, personifying the infantile purity of the Christian soul.

The sign was strictly observed: do not make the coffin larger than the deceased, otherwise there will be another deceased. In the house, as a sign of mourning, they curtain or turn the “face” to the wall of the mirror so that the human soul does not remain locked on the other side of the mirror. They also stop all clocks as a sign that a person's life path is completed. Before the funeral, his friends and relatives come to say goodbye to a person, but 20 minutes before the removal of the body, only the closest relatives should remain with the deceased.

Take out the rubbish in front of the dead person from the house - take everyone out of the house.

In preparation for the removal of the body, first the wreaths and the portrait of the deceased are taken out of the house, then the lid of the coffin (with the narrow part forward), and only at the end the coffin itself (the deceased is carried forward with their feet). At the same time, thresholds and jambs should not be touched, so that the deceased would not be tempted to return home.

“The dead man is one of the houses out,” they say, taking him out and locking the tenants in the house for a while. According to the old tradition, it is impossible to take out the deceased before noon and after sunset, so that the setting sun could “capture” the deceased with it. Relatives should not carry a coffin, so that the deceased does not take a blood relative with him to the grave.

After taking the coffin out of the house, all the floors must be washed (previously, not only the floors, but the whole house were washed with water alone).

The path of the funeral procession to the cemetery is covered with spruce branches, which serve as a talisman, a guarantee that the deceased will not “walk”, will not return in his wake.

At funerals, it is customary to present cakes, sweets, and handkerchiefs to those present. This is nothing more than the distribution of alms, which obliges those who received it to pray for the deceased. At the same time, the worshipers take on some of the sins of the deceased.

Arriving home after the funeral, you need to warm your hands so as not to bring the grave cold into the house. After the commemoration, 40 days of intoxication are not taken into the mouth. At the commemoration, they drink only vodka, and those who come are sure to be fed pancakes and kutya.

For the soul of the deceased, a stack of vodka, covered with a slice of bread, is placed on the table. It must stand for 40 days, while the human soul has not completely left this world.

At the wake, they do not stay long. Six weeks after the funeral, a glass of water should be on the windowsill, and a towel should be hung on the corner of the house, outside by the window, so that the soul could bathe and dry off before the wake. On the fortieth day, the soul of the deceased comes to his house for a whole day and leaves only after the so-called farewell. If they are not arranged, the deceased will suffer. Six weeks after death, "ladders" of dough are baked to help the soul climb to heaven. According to Russian tradition, there are special days in the folk calendar on which the Orthodox commemorate those who have moved to another world.

We must always remember that at a funeral or with the help of funeral paraphernalia, the most severe damage is induced. Therefore, if something incomprehensible happened at the funeral or you suspect something in yourself, contact an experienced

master. In no case should you get rid of such damage on your own or using numerous and useless articles on the Internet.

Farewell speech at a funeral occupies a separate place in the mourning ritual. The custom of giving funeral speeches is relatively new and does not correspond to Orthodox traditions, although it does not contradict them. The Church does not condemn the secular procedure for saying goodbye to the deceased and the civil memorial service. The purpose of the farewell speech is to create an atmosphere of solemn farewell to the deceased, to convey positive information to the assembled relatives of the deceased and close people so that the last imprint in the memory of the person is positive. An Orthodox priest who preaches at a funeral has slightly different goals. Death in the Christian understanding is only the end of the earthly path and the transition to a new life. The priest primarily reflects such a vision. For unbelievers, the interpretation of death as an open road to eternity is unacceptable. A grieving non-Christian wants precisely to say goodbye to a person dear to him, whom he knew and appreciated closely, to express condolences to relatives. A reminder of the good sides of the character of the deceased, outstanding events and deeds will ease his feelings and state of mind.

Who delivers the mourning speech?

Burial has a heavy emotional and psychological impact, the death of a person is most painfully perceived by close relatives. If in the immediate environment there is a person with strong willed qualities and mental stability, who is able to adequately speak to those who have come to say goodbye, he should be entrusted with making a speech. More often, such a duty is assigned to the closest people - spouse, children, parents.

The funeral director should not force anyone to give a farewell speech, the candidate must be selected in advance. If close relatives are depressed or for other reasons are not ready to address the audience, the sad duty should be placed on another relative, close friend or colleague.

When choosing a candidate, it is necessary to take into account the oratorical abilities of a person, his ability to speak in public.

With the last parting words, several people can speak. After the main speech, any of the audience should be given the opportunity to speak, inviting those who wish to say a few words. But it should be just a few words: lengthy statements will unnecessarily drag out the procedure, will have a negative impact on those who came to the burial. Long sermons can cause negative perception in people and not achieve the desired result. Depending on their attitude towards the deceased, those who wish can supplement the speaker with farewell words, briefly talk about his value as an employee or comrade, recall a significant episode or event from life in which they were a participant.

How to build a farewell speech?

The funeral speech at the funeral has a certain structure and must contain mandatory elements. The speaker is advised to prepare a speech in advance or have a clear plan of speech in order to avoid painful pauses and remember to say all the necessary words. At the same time, you should not look for patterns of farewells or adapt to the mourning words spoken at the funeral of public people. The main condition for a successful performance is sincerity and a warm attitude towards the deceased, a close relationship with him. Speech should be individualized and dedicated to the deceased. The deceased needs a bright memory, regardless of whether he was a believer or a secular person. The funeral word should evoke bright emotions in the audience.

In Orthodoxy, it is believed that prayers and kind words make it easier for the soul to stay in the next world, the buried one will soon go the way to God.

The speech should not be long. You should not remember the whole life path of a person, his career and family relationships. It is enough to dwell on the iconic ones and outline the main achievements in family life and at work, public relations. It is imperative to highlight positive character traits, note good relations with people, social status, recognition from the outside. Negative memories or negative statements are unacceptable, the speaker must be sensitive to both the deceased and his relatives. The funeral speech should contain some traditional turns and phrases, which we will give below. The performance does not need to be built in gloomy colors, it is necessary to create an atmosphere of mourning solemnity. When saying goodbye, it is important not only what they say, but also how they do it.

The memorial speech is addressed to all those gathered, so it is necessary to mention not only relatives, but also friends of the deceased. Unfamiliar people from among neighbors or colleagues may be present at the funeral. From the mourning speech, they must learn what a good person the deceased was, understand his main features and characteristics. Speech should ease the worries of relatives and loved ones. The speech is public, so statements can be more pathetic than personal condolences. At the same time, you should not go beyond reasonable limits and engage in frank praise or chanting of the deceased. Among those gathered there are people who closely knew both good and negative traits of a person.

Sample speech plan

There are no strict requirements for the structure of the mourning speech, but more often the speech is built according to the following plan:

• the speaker introduces himself, indicates his attitude towards the deceased (degree of relationship, friend, colleague);
• expresses sorrow in connection with the death of the one who is escorted to the last journey;
• lists in chronological order the most important stages in the personal and professional life of the deceased, outstanding events that were important both for the deceased and his environment;
• reflects personal positive character traits, features of his relationship with other people;
• briefly recalls several joyful events or bright incidents (it is advisable to recall moments affecting relatives and friends of the deceased);
• adds farewell words, a promise from himself and from those gathered to preserve the bright memory of the deceased.

It would be advisable for the speaker of the mourning speech to talk about personal experience of relations with the deceased, to report on the help or support received from him, to reflect the role and significance in his life. You can end the speech with a mandate or a motto that guided the deceased, a life statement that he often mentioned. It is allowed to set off the epitaph, including in poetic form, although the abuse of verses over the grave will not look entirely appropriate.

Farewell verses should not exceed 4-6 lines.

It is allowed to read the speech on paper or have a written speech plan. Excessive facial expressions, demonstrative gestures and postures when pronouncing are unacceptable. The speaker must be dressed in accordance with mourning traditions. During speech, it is desirable to restrain emotions - it is not worth crying, lamenting, speaking in a breaking voice. The male speaker at the funeral looks more solemn and appropriate to the situation.

Words of sorrow and memorial phrases

Traditionally, when saying goodbye to a person, some speech turns and phrases are used, inserted both in a funeral speech and in personal condolences. Rare speech does without the following words:

• untimely loss, death (if appropriate);
• bitterness, pain of loss;
• live a decent and fulfilling life;
• forever keep a bright memory;
• rest in peace;
• mourn the loss;
• a worthy person has passed away;
• great loss for all;
• we part forever, say goodbye, etc.

The inclusion of such turns is appropriate and cannot be regarded as hackneyed patterns or worn out phrases. For many centuries, these formulations have been selected as the most accurate and acceptable for expressing grief and condolences.

When listing character traits, even negative points can be reflected in a positive way. Talking about the character of the deceased, you can use the following synonyms:

• grumbling, picky person - critically thinking, demanding;
• fisted, greedy - economical, prudent, rational;
• spending a lot, living beyond his means - had a broad soul, did not spare for friends;
• suspiciousness, suspiciousness - caution, accuracy in actions and decisions;
• not very smart - naive, kind, trusting people;
• arrogant, proud - self-confident, knowing his own worth;
• stubborn, immune to other people's opinions - principled, firm;
• unnecessarily soft, weak character - conflict-free, sociable, going forward.

Words of condolence

Speech at a funeral is not the only way to console the relatives of the deceased.

It is equally important to express a personal attitude to the grief that has occurred, to directly show one's participation. Finding the right words is difficult, especially if death struck in childhood or young age. As an example, here are some phrases that are appropriate for use both in a mourning speech and individually:

• we sincerely condole with the relatives and friends of the untimely deceased ... it is very bitter to lose your loved ones, relatives and friends, and doubly bitter when death takes the young, God rest his soul;
• everyone who knew him is grieving now, such a tragedy left no one indifferent, everyone refuses to believe that this is possible;
• I understand how hard it is for you now, and I sympathize, I will never be able to forget him;
• always contact on any matter, for any help, I will always be ready to help;
• we grieve with you for the untimely departed ..., for all the time that he was known, he always was ...;
• this is a great loss for everyone, we will always miss him, God bless his soul;
• they say they love grandchildren even more than their children, we understand how hard it is for you now, our sincere condolences in grief;
• there is nothing more painful than the loss of a child, there is no greater tragedy, it is impossible to find words of support to ease your pain even a little, we sympathize, we mourn together for your daughter / son.

Close relatives need consolation. Warm participation, sincere regrets will help alleviate the emotional state and survive the loss. A person close to the deceased should feel that he was not left alone with misfortune, friends are ready to help and support him, and will keep a good memory of the deceased.

Memorial speech

A memorial speech at a commemoration differs in its content from a funeral speech. During the burial, the speaker addresses all those gathered, the speech is dedicated to the deceased. At the commemoration, one should focus on the support of relatives, the expression of sympathy for them. In a commemorative speech, it is proposed to honor the memory of the deceased with a minute of silence and commemorate him.

The speaker at the commemoration speaks while standing, the speech should be short.

The head of the family or an older close relative usually speaks first at the wake. In the future, any of those present can take the floor. The person who has taken care of organizing the funeral follows the general conversation and, if necessary, fills in the pauses that arise, regulates the timely change of dishes. Traditionally, funerals are commemorated with alcohol. Some of those present, for various reasons, may be in a state of intoxication and want to speak. The organizer must delicately stop or minimize the performance, avoiding inappropriate statements and actions.

Speech at a commemoration is built similarly to a funeral speech, but should be shorter and less pretentious, should contain words of consolation to relatives and friends. If the speech of a close relative is interrupted by tears, the speaker cannot finish speaking, or begins to experience physical discomfort, the funeral director must be ready to stop the situation with ready-made phrases and actions.

Sad events are confusing, at a crucial moment all words fly out of my head. The speech at the wake can be written in advance to control emotions.

Examples and order of what they say at the wake on the day of the funeral are presented in the table:

Memorial words should come from a pure heart. The built sample only gives hints. Supplement the speech with colorful epithets, enthusiastic words, what a wonderful person the deceased was.

Remember the last parting words spoken to you, what the deceased taught you.

End the mourning speech with words of gratitude, make a promise that you will never forget the deceased, you will keep the memories deep in your heart.

According to Christian custom, you can end the performance with a short joint prayer.

Advice! Do not make long pathetic speeches. Limit yourself to a short, sincere speech.

How to behave and what to say at the wake on the day of the funeral?

Being entangled in such tragic circumstances for the first time, you must know the rules for how to behave at a funeral. In such cases, it is difficult to restrain emotions, you can offend others with your behavior.

A heavy burden falls on the shoulders of the relatives of the deceased: the organization of the funeral and knowledge of the rules of conduct at such events.

1. Black clothes. Women must cover their heads with a scarf before entering the temple, men take off their hats.

   It is customary to wear dark clothes, symbolizing longing for the deceased. Do not dress up, do bright makeup, choose a modest outfit without vulgar cutouts.

2. Organization. For a fee, all events will be planned by a special service.

   Invite relatives, friends, colleagues of the deceased to the wake. If the family does not want to see someone at the funeral, they must inform the unwanted guest about it.

3. Set up a small first aid station. At the funeral, there are many tears and sorrows, fainting is not ruled out.

   Collect a small first aid kit of sedatives and ammonia.

4. Share the feast. After the feast, distribute food to those invited.

Important! Make sure that the wake does not turn into a celebration. Limit or completely eliminate alcohol. Follow the rules of table etiquette.

There are a few more mandatory points that guests need to consider before going to a funeral and commemoration:

• Buy a parting gift. Traditionally, they give a wreath of an even number of flowers with a commemorative inscription: “to a beloved father from a loving son”, “to a friend, you were the best”.

  The inscription can be anything, but not offensive.

• About the deceased, either good or nothing. Even if a neighbor drilled all day long, remember that he always greeted you and treated you with respect.

  Express condolences to the man's family.

• Don't refuse help if asked. The men are asked to carry the lid of the coffin, the women carry flowers and look after the children if necessary.
• Farewell poetry. Poems can be read if they are appropriate, it is better to limit yourself to a short quatrain.
• During the commemoration, close people are the first to speak. Sister, brother better to say goodbye in the middle of the event.

Farewell words at the funeral

Funeral speech in Christian canons is not always pronounced. To give the funeral a secular character, a participant in the ritual can publicly address the guests.

Words pronounces deceased mother's daughter, a close friend of the family. The moment is unfortunate, because after the farewell words, the coffin is lowered into the grave pit.

The purpose of such words is to solemnly say goodbye, let go and wish the kingdom of heaven.

For wires to another world, follow the rules for pronouncing grave words:

1. You don't have to tell everyone. The speech should be told by a close person who was well acquainted with the deceased.
2. Choose a person with a loud voice and good diction, emotionally stable. The daughter-in-law, delivering a speech to her mother-in-law on her last journey, will cry loudly.

   The best funeral speeches are given by men.

3. Choosing the right words is the art of calming. The performance should not injure relatives and friends.
4. Talk about the best qualities of the deceased. Warm words will soothe the soul of the deceased in the afterlife.
5. Don't delay the performance talk for no more than 5 minutes.
6. Use the outline to write your speech. indicated in the table above. Tell me that there was no one closer to your grandmother in your life, remember your character, actions, how important it is that everyone gathered today for the last farewell.

Memorial words for 9 days, 40 days and 1 year

The more time passes, the less the pain of loss. It is customary to gather a family at a common table for 9, 40 days after death, a year later.

At the commemoration, the deceased is remembered with joy and warmth. They tell stories, eat traditional dishes.

Drinking is a trend of the secular world, in Christian customs, it is possible to commemorate the deceased without wine.

Important! At a funeral, poetry is categorically inappropriate. But at the commemoration, touching poetry will come in handy, especially on the 9th, 40th day after death and on the anniversary.

The sincere and best option would be poems of your own composition, addressed to the deceased.

Similar posts

We all mourn deeply. Our souls bleed from untimely loss. The deceased was a support to all of us. He was the first to come to the rescue, did not wait for requests or complaints. His kind heart and broad soul were always wide open. He was a clear light and guide in a complex and dangerous world for all of us, his friends! May the soul of this wonderful man rest in peace! We will always remember him with a feeling of light sadness, mixed with a secret longing!” A few more practical tips From practice, it is known that any words are forgotten when you stand on the graveyard near an open grave. This is the most natural thing. There is nothing shameful in the fact that the excitement and bitterness of loss cloud the brain, confuse words. Therefore, it is worthwhile to rationally approach the preparation for the funeral ceremony. Write the text clearly, but rather print it out, taking care of a convenient font size.

Funeral farewell speech at a funeral: an example

What does it have to do with not only the name, but also the degree of your acquaintance, relationship: “My name is Alexei, (name) and I have been close friends (colleagues) for many (can be specified) years.”

• It would not be superfluous to say a few words about my own experiences, about the pain that the message of death caused.
• The following words characterize the deceased. Here it is important to remember the old Russian proverb, which perfectly indicates what they say at the wake: “About the dead, or good, or nothing”
• In conclusion, they say condolences or standard, but still relevant for this funeral words: “May the earth rest in peace”, “Rest in peace”, and so on.

In general, we note that the speech at the commemoration is different from what is said directly at the funeral.

So, in the moment of farewell, it is customary to speak very briefly.

What speeches are made at funerals?

A couple of phrases imbued with sincerity will be much more pleasant for relatives and friends of the deceased than long, memorized sentences. Actual prices - Our monuments Monument AM2618 25.200 rub.
Buy discount price: -5% - 23.900 rubles. Monument AM4222 12.400 rub. Buy discount price: -5% - 11.700 rubles. Monument AM2402 23.700 rub.

Buy discount price: -5% - 22.500 rubles. Monument AM1526 17.600 rub. Buy discount price: -5% - 16.700 rubles. Monument AM7127 90.900 rub.

Buy discount price: -5% - 86.300 rubles. Monument AM4074 9.300 rub. Buy discount price: -5% - 8.800 rubles. Monument AM7205 RUB 105.000
Buy discount price: -5% - 99.700 rubles. Monument AM3011 11.000 rub. Buy discount price: -5% - 10.400 rubles. Monument AM7035 110.500 rub.

Buy discount price: -5% - 104.900 rubles. Monument AM7029 68.400 rub. Buy discount price: -5% - 64.900 rubles. Monument AM2370 21.200 rub.

Funeral speech - farewell words to the deceased

Childhood and youth (name) passed in the village (name of the settlement) and even then the most striking features of her personality appeared: discipline, an extraordinary mind, perseverance in study and work, focus on results, straightforwardness and worldly acumen. Maria Ivanovna has always won the sympathy of people with her ability to negotiate, understand people and establish long-term, lasting relationships based on mutual trust and benevolence.

Therefore, she always had many friends, business contacts and a strong, friendly family. In addition, she was distinguished by a high internal culture, outstanding moral qualities and personal charm.

Attention

We all knew (name) as an outstanding, intelligent and energetic person. She did a lot for us, she always helped in any way she could, and her personality has always been significant and significant for us, as well as her decisions, opinion, support.

Farewell speech at the funeral

Important

So you show respect for the deceased, you will look more sincere. Start with a call:

• Dear guests/colleagues!
• Dear relatives, friends and relatives of [name of the deceased]!
• Dear brothers (sisters) of our relative / our beloved [name of the deceased]!

At the beginning, a small amount of pathos is acceptable.

• I had the honor to serve with [deceased's name] in the same military unit for over 20 years;
• I am the younger brother of [name of the deceased], who has always been and will be my main example;
• I am the wife of [name of the deceased], who will always be a ray of light illuminating my path;
• [Deceased's name] was my high school teacher.

Here it is permissible to take a short pause and gather your thoughts.

Examples of mourning speeches at a wake

At the same time, you should not look for patterns of farewells or adapt to the mourning words spoken at the funeral of public people. The main condition for a successful performance is sincerity and a warm attitude towards the deceased, a close relationship with him. Speech should be individualized and dedicated to the deceased. The deceased needs a bright memory, regardless of whether he was a believer or a secular person. The funeral word should evoke bright emotions in the audience. In Orthodoxy, it is believed that prayers and kind words make it easier for the soul to stay in the next world, the buried one will soon go the way to God.

The speech should not be long. You should not remember the whole life path of a person, his career and family relationships. It is enough to dwell on the iconic ones and outline the main achievements in family life and at work, public relations.

Speech at the funeral

Death in the Christian understanding is only the end of the earthly path and the transition to a new life. The priest primarily reflects such a vision.

For unbelievers, the interpretation of death as an open road to eternity is unacceptable. A grieving non-Christian wants precisely to say goodbye to a person dear to him, whom he knew and appreciated closely, to express condolences to relatives. A reminder of the good sides of the character of the deceased, outstanding events and deeds will ease his feelings and state of mind. Who delivers the mourning speech? Burial has a heavy emotional and psychological impact, the death of a person is most painfully perceived by close relatives. If in the immediate environment there is a person with strong willed qualities and mental stability, who is able to adequately speak to those who have come to say goodbye, he should be entrusted with making a speech.

How to compose a memorial speech and choose the right words

Many who did not know the deceased person well, learn a lot of new and interesting things about him, thanks to which the understanding comes that the person lived a rich life. All this to some extent helps to come to terms with the loss, calms the hearts of those who mourn. It is also believed that the more warm and pleasant words you speak about the deceased, the easier it becomes for him in that other world.

Prayers and funerals are beneficial. Who gives a farewell speech at a funeral Usually, the speech is trusted to a loved one, but one who has a courageous character and is able to control his emotions. The speech should be carefully prepared and pre-recorded on a sheet.

Memorial words

Therefore, to pronounce important and significant words, a person of the strongest mental warehouse, emotionally stable, with good diction is needed. A person with such data is selected for this purpose from among the closest relatives. The mourning speech is usually given by the son or daughter, brother or sister, wife or husband. The text of the speech is prepared in advance, it is advisable to have it with you in writing. You can, at least, draw up a speech plan, but you should not pronounce a parting word offhand. This may lead to an undesirable effect. To make the speech richer and more intense, you can include memories of other family members or close friends in it. Long and drawn-out speeches are not suitable for a dignified ceremony. The optimal pronunciation time is no more than 5 minutes. What parts does a farewell speech consist of? Each gravestone word has a purely individual structure.

Mourning speeches at the funeral, memorial text and poems

Misfortune usually comes unexpectedly. It destroys the usual life, makes you abandon plans, and most importantly, act according to other, sometimes unfamiliar, norms. You have to learn how to organize a ceremony, write a speech at a funeral, organize a wake, and so on.

This applies not only to the family of the deceased. Friends and colleagues have to participate in the funeral ceremony. From them, the closest of the deceased expect not only sympathy, but also a respectful attitude towards his memory. All this must be subtly and skillfully inserted into the speech at the funeral. Let's briefly review the generally accepted rules for its compilation. A bit of history It is believed that the traditions associated with burial came to us from ancient Rome. That society highly valued oratory. To be honest, sometimes they tried to demonstrate it without taking into account the reason that brought together those present.

And if the speech needs to be more formal, then speak like Vladimir Putin at Primakov's funeral: Step 4. The story or quote of the deceased If appropriate, you can tell a story;

For example: “Anna was so passionate about so many things and instantly passed on this passion to others. She put the disc down and stood by, barefoot and contented, asking over and over again: “Do you feel it? Maybe you just don't feel it? And she played the same tape over and over until you said you felt the music.”

And here is Tom Hanks telling a story from Michael Duncan's life at Michael Duncan's funeral: A funny story can ease the pain of loss, but be careful. You should not tell them if everyone around is crying, and in other speeches they do without stories.