Initially, this date had nothing to do with students and was celebrated in the Orthodox calendar exclusively as the day of memory of the holy martyr Tatyana. But in 1755, everything changed: literally on the eve of the church holiday, by decree of Empress Elizaveta Petrovna, Moscow University was established, which very quickly became a stronghold of Russian progressive thought.
Heroes of the Soviet Union, students of Moscow State University. Moscow. 1947
MSU students play hockey. 1959
Soon the leadership of the higher educational institution decided to take one of the university outbuildings under the house church of the martyr Tatyana. The saint herself was recognized as the patroness and protector of the domestic students.
Students of St. Petersburg State University with Professor N. A. Menshutkin in the Large Chemical Auditorium. 1900
Professor P. F. Lesgaft with a group of students. 1909
Students of Moscow State University in front of the building of the educational building. 1968
In pre-revolutionary Russia, this double holiday was celebrated on a grand scale. Large-scale street festivities were attended by those who had long ceased to be students, and those who had never crossed the threshold of spacious university classrooms. The Moscow restaurateur Lucien Olivier (yes, the author of the famous salad), who owned the Hermitage tavern on Trubnaya Square, in honor of such a significant event, set aside an entire hall of his establishment for student revelry. Of course, the celebration was not complete without drinking. However, on Tatyana's day, the gendarmes, having stumbled upon an intoxicated student on the street, did not arrest him, but offered all possible assistance.
Walk of Moscow students
Moscow State University students on a tour of the Moscow region. 1955
Students of the Pedagogical School. Vologda. 1929- 1933.
Anton Pavlovich Chekhov wrote this about the celebration of the main student day: “This year we drank everything except the Moskva River, and this was due to the fact that it was frozen ... The pianos and grand pianos crackled, the orchestras did not stop, they fried Gaudeamus, their throats were tearing and wheezing ... It was so fun that one student, out of an excess of feelings, bathed in a tank where sterlets swim.
Drawing by N. Ya. Chekhov in the magazine "Alarm Clock". 1882 A. P. Chekhov is depicted in the upper left corner with a glass in his hand
Announcement at the walls of MADI
Exams are when you suddenly start to believe in God, omens, luck, fate and talismans.
***
Question to a student in an anatomy exam:
Where are the leg muscles located?
Student, without hesitation:
- On hands!
***
GM Fikhtengolts "Course of integral and differential calculus".
And although this book is not about love at all, it made more than one girl cry ...
***
Tell me, student Petrova, what is the hardest part of the body in the human body?
- Male member!
- Sit down, Petrova, two! Hold on to your boyfriend!!!
***
Oh girls! He kisses me, says he loves me...
- Lyusya, he is the rector of our institute - we must agree ...
***
Tell me, did your son find a suitable room for him to start studying at the university?
- He thinks so. His place is a two-minute walk from a pub, three minutes from his girlfriend, and an hour from the university.
***
lecture at the medical school.
The professor goes to the audience and says:
- Before the lecture, I will tell you a story. I had a friend when I was young. We liked the same girl. We both wanted to marry her. She chose him: I was left with a nose, and my friend - without ...
So, the topic of our today's lecture is syphilis and its consequences.
***
Offset. The teacher gradually removes students with spurs.
Dean comes in
- Oooh ... and there are probably a lot of lovers of peeing ...
Teacher:
- No, the amateurs have already left, only the professionals are left!
***
Exam, the student falls irrevocably. There is a crowd behind the door and thinks how to help her out. Finally, a guy bursts into the audience and shouts:
- Ivanova, your son was born!
The teacher, of course, congratulates her, puts an assessment, signs.
***
At the test at the medical institute, the teacher asks the student:
- What is impotence?
Student:
- Impotence is a phenomenon in which the force of gravity exceeds the force of attraction to the opposite sex.
***
Once at the Faculty of Medicine, one of the inquisitive students asked the teacher a question:
- Professor, tell me, please, how to distinguish a girl from a woman?
- You understand, young man, the girl is sitting with her legs shifted, because ...
The answer swallowed up the sound of shifting feet...
***
Lecture at the Agricultural Institute. Professor says:
With these words, the student Ivanova looks maliciously at the student Petrov and asks:
- Professor, I heard correctly: up to 12?
- Yes.
- Please, repeat this for student Petrov!
Professor:
- A bull-producer can make up to 12 copulations per day.
Student Petrov asks:
- Tell me, professor, does he perform these copulations with one cow or with twelve?
- Of course, with twelve.
- Please, repeat this for the student Ivanova!
***
The porridge in the student's head on the exam miraculously turns into noodles on the teacher's ears.
***
The student learned all the tickets in philosophy, but did not go to the exam, because life has no meaning and all people are pawns in it.
***
The applicant takes the entrance exams to the Literary Institute.
Selection committee:
- Young man, read us something Pushkin, for example, from "Eugene Onegin."
- My uncle is the rector of the institute...
- Thank you very much, that's enough, you're accepted.
***
A student takes an exam in the history of the CPSU. He is asked:
Who was Karl Marx?
Karl Marx is dead! Let's honor his memory with a moment of silence.
The commission is up. Honored.
And who was Lenin?
Lenin is dead, but his cause lives on. Let's honor the memory of the great leader with a moment of silence!
We got up. Honored. The professor whispers to the committee members:
Give him a three, otherwise he will make him sing the international, and I only know the first verse.
***
Lecture on Philology. The old professor says:
- In some languages of the world, double negation means agreement. In others, the double negation is still a negation, but there is not a single language in the world in which double agreement means negation.
Voice from the back:
- Well, yeah, of course!
***
The exam, the student filled up all the questions, the teacher for his edification:
- Here is a fellow student, imagine that you found two bags - one with the mind and the other with money. Which one would you take?
- Of course with money!
- See! And if I were you, I would take the bag wisely ...
- That's right, everyone takes what he lacks!
***
The student from the hangover can't remember anything, the professor is trying his best to pull him to the top three:
- Okay, last, very simple question.
How many boobs does a cow have? the student wrinkles his forehead:
- I do not remember. But the milkmaid has exactly two!
****
Morning. Dorm. The alarm clock is ringing. Students of 1-5 courses wake up.
Freshman:
- Guys, can we go to study?
Sophomore:
- No, we'd better sleep.
Third year student:
- How about a beer?
Fourth year student:
- And maybe vodka?
Fifth year student:
- Guys, let's flip a coin. If the eagle falls, then we'll drink a beer, if tails - then vodka. If it falls edge-on, we’ll sleep, but if it hangs in the air, then let’s go to study ...
***
Students are very much like cows:
when they try to devote more time to their personal lives, they develop tails
when they try to spend more time studying, they get horns
and when they try to do both, they drop their hooves!
***
The medical student carefully lifted the edge of the ticket and found in it this question: "Give five advantages of mother's milk over cow's."
- Firstly, - the student began uncertainly, - it is always fresh, secondly, it is cleaner, thirdly, it is more useful,
fourthly, a woman always has it with her. And, finally, the fifth, - the student thought, - it is contained in such a lovely vessel!
The commission unanimously gave him a five.
***
The student, worried at the exam, asks the teacher: - A pislo chislat? - Well, scratch it, if it helps you ...
***
You know, our teacher talks to himself...
- Ours too. But he doesn't realize it. He thinks we are listening to him.
***
The student takes time off from the professor's lecture:
- Professor, I have a sore throat.
After the lecture, the professor returns home and sees that the student who has taken time off is walking with an amazing lady. The professor calls the student back and says:
- Dear, with SUCH ANGINA, you only need to lie in bed.
***
Two teachers are talking near the dean's office:
- Now, if I put at least one four on the exam, a whole group will carry me in my arms!
- And if I put at least one C on the exam, then a whole group will carry me in their arms!
The dean passes by. Joining the conversation:
- And if I fire you both, then the whole faculty will carry me in their arms!
***
A joyful student jumps out from behind the table and runs to the exit.
- Passed!
- Wait! - shouts the professor, pointing to the record book. - It should be noted.
Let's celebrate tonight! - comes from behind the door.
***
After visiting the museum, the students share their impressions:
“Did you notice how huge the penis was on that Greek statue?”
- Yeah. And so cold.
***
At the exam ... a student is sitting, she doesn’t know anything, the teacher notices this and comes up:
- Girl, do you have a free night?
She was embarrassed, but finally decided:
- Yes...
- Well, here, and spend it on studying the subject !!!
***
On the exam. Students are sitting in the audience, waiting for the teacher who will take the exam, they are worried. The teacher comes in and closes the door tightly.
Opens a porthole. Turning to students:
- Guess what I did?
Do not know?
Students:
- We don't know...
- Let the freebie in! Let's take notes.
The students leave completely freaked out...
The next day, another group had an exam. The people, of course, drank vodka all night, did not prepare ...
The teacher comes in. Opens a porthole.
Turns around.
- Guess what I did? Students with joy: - Freebie let in!!!
The teacher, smiling slyly:
- No, guys, the freebie just flew away ...
***
At an anatomy exam, a professor asks a student a backfilling question:
- Which human organ is a symbol of love?
- A man or a woman? - the student asks.
- My God, - the doctor sighs, - in my time it was just a heart ...
***
At a lecture at a medical institute.
Professor:
- ...also, a man's semen contains a large amount of glucose ...
Student:
- Professor, you mean the same glucose as in sugar?
Professor:
- Quite right!
Student:
"Then why isn't she sweet?" Everyone neighed loudly, the girl blushed, and the teacher calmly said:
“Because, honey, the taste buds responsible for sweet taste are located on the tip of the tongue, not on the tonsils…!”
****
The professor at the lecture asks the audience a question:
- Who can explain to me why spermatozoa have long tails?
Everyone is silent, one girl timidly:
- Probably, to make it easier to get out of your teeth?
***
There is an exam. The student sits down to the professor and says:
- Let's do it, I'm not at all ready for the exam, I'll guess a riddle for you: guess it, put me a deuce and I'm leaving, and if you don't guess it, then, please, five!
- Well, so be it, guess.
- What's happened? Legal but illogical. Logical but illegal. Illegal and illogical. The professor thought for a long time, but didn't get it right. I gave the student an A. The following student sits next to him:
- Are you ready to take the exam?
- Yes
"Let me give you a riddle, shall I?"
You don't even have to say which one, I already know the answer! Look, you have a young wife, it's legal but not logical!
She has a young lover - it's logical but illegal! And now he left you and got a five - this is illegal and illogical !!!
***
Audience Professor:
-You are a construction worker. Before your eyes, a worker falls from the scaffolding and is smashed to death. What are your first steps?
Students:
- Call an ambulance!
- Call the police!
- Notify relatives! and so on.
Professor:
- Put a helmet and safety belt on the corpse, otherwise the police will come for you.
***
A pretty girl talks about Adam Smith without ever mentioning him by name. After listening carefully, the teacher asks:
What was Smith's name?
In response, embarrassed silence.
- Well, don't worry. Remember the name of the first man, - the teacher prompts.
- Valera! The girl answers softly, blushing.
***
A student, defiantly dressed, in a miniskirt, a decollete that reveals her charms as much as possible, sits down to the examiner. Knowing nothing about the subject, she makes seductive gestures, trying in every possible way to awaken the dense instincts in the lecturer.
After some time, the lecturer leans over to the girl, puts his hand on her knee and asks confidentially:
- Are you free tonight? The student pretends to be embarrassed and says in a seductive voice:
- Yeah.
- Then learn chemistry in the evening.
***
There is a lecture at the medical institute.
Professor:
- There are three main postures for sexual intercourse.
A student jumps up and says:
- Professor, not three, but a hundred!
- Young man, do not interfere with the lecture! So there are three main postures for sexual intercourse.
- Yes, not three, but a hundred!
- Young man, get out of the audience!
Nothing to do, the student goes out and listens at the door.
- There are three main positions for intercourse: man on top, man on the bottom and lying on your side.
A student's head pops through the door:
- Excuse me, professor, then one hundred and three!
***
There is a group of students in the desert. Suddenly they see the deputy. dean, buried up to his neck in the sand!
- Yuri Dmitrievich, who are you?!?!?
- Ah, another group passed here before you.
- God! They didn't have enough sand.
***
Call to the hostel - Hello, can Masha from room 101? vahtersha - we can do everything here!
***
A student enters the classroom
-Professor, can a slightly sober student give you an exam now?
-Well, let's.
-Guys put it on, the professor doesn't mind!!!
***
A girl comes to take an exam in literature.
Examiner: Last name, first name?
Girl: If I don't give it up, then Anna Karenina.
***
The two professors are talking animatedly. Runs past
a frivolous student, drops notes. One of his professors
scolds: - Young man, do not forget, you are in the Temple of Science! - Then he lets go and
again turns to the interlocutor: - Colleague, so where did we stop?
Oh, yes: I put her legs on my shoulders!
***
University exam. Teacher enters:
- Question 5 - what is my name? Silence.
- Question for 4 - what do we rent? Silence.
- Question 3 - what color is the textbook?
Voice from the back:
- The bastard is coming down.
***
A student comes to the veterinary academy for a biology exam, but knows nothing but the structure of a flea. He got a ticket about a cow. He comes out and starts:
- A cow is such an animal, on four legs, covered with wool. Fleas are found in the wool ... - And then he tells everything about fleas. The teacher stops him and says:
- Good good. Tell us more about the dog. The student starts again:
- A dog is an animal on four legs, covered with wool, fleas are found in the wool. And then he talks about fleas. The examiner is tired of this, and he says:
- Okay, tell us about the fish.
- A fish is an animal that lives in the water. The fish does not have wool, but if it had, fleas would be found in it ...
***
At the medical institute - a lecture.
The professor calls a student to the board, points to a skeleton standing nearby and says:
"Name and show the parts of the body when the skeleton was a man."
The student begins: "Here was the brain, here are the eyes, nose, mouth, heart, liver, kidneys, spleen ..."
He reaches a delicate place and says:
"And here was the penis." The professor (an old one) sits, thinking. "Professor, there was a penis here," the student repeats.
“Firstly: I haven’t been,” says the professor, “but I have been.
Second, it's a woman.
***
An applicant comes to take exams at a prestigious university. The chairman of the selection committee asks her:
- Girl, tell me, why did you choose our institute?
"Dad, stop messing around!"
***
Audience, exam in progress...
A first-year student knocks on the door: May I? (very shy)
Teacher: Yes, come in.
Student: May I come in?
Teacher: Yes, yes, come in, pull the ticket.
The student comes in and tries to take the ticket with shaking hands.
Teacher: Well, what are you pulling, pulling.
Student: Somehow he pulls out a ticket and tells the teacher very confusedly.
In the second year:
The student enters without knocking, grabs the ticket, quickly tells what he knows and leaves.
In the third year:
The student knocks out the door with his foot, tumbles into the audience and asks: well, where is the easiest ticket. Turns over several tickets and answers the one he likes.
In the fourth year:
The student, already drunk, falls into the audience and exclaims:
In short, here is my record book waiting for 5 minutes.
On the fifth course:
A timid and quiet knock on the door.
Teacher: Yes, come in.
Again knock.
Teacher: Come on in...
Can...?
Teacher: Yes, I said come in.
A little boy appears, stealthily approaches the teacher, holds out a record book and says: here, dad asked me to pass ...
****
The professor brought a large box to the lecture and put it on the chair.
- Today we will learn by touch to determine the organs of the human body. Student Petrova, put your hands in the box and feel...
- Heart, professor.
- That's right, student Petrova, now you.
- Sausage, professor.
- Don't be shy.
- Sausage, professor.
- Student Petrova, we are doctors!
Student (almost crying):
- Actually sausage, professor.
The professor, looking into the box, mumbles thoughtfully
- Indeed, a sausage, but what did I sour beer with yesterday?
***
The student comes to the exam, well, he doesn’t know anything, and says to the professor:
sorry, I went to bed at about two yesterday!
Professor: next time you will go to bed around one !!!
***
The student enters the women's dormitory.
The watchman asks:
- You to whom?
- Who would you recommend?
***
Question five: what color is the textbook?
- Don't know!
- Question four: what are we renting?
- Don't know!
- Question three: who led the seminars?
- Don't know!
- Well, a leading question: you or me?
A student rises in the back row:
- Let's go, guys, the freebie has not passed ...
***
P repod to students:
- They cut my salary and bonuses. And I have a loan. So knowledge will not help you pass the exam
The author of the song “Wait a locomotive, don’t knock the wheels ...” Nikolai Ivanovsky - “He was a thief, a pickpocket,” he admitted in a single interview given a few years ago to Komsomolskaya Pravda. They paid for this song from the HF "Operation" Y "..." to him "for medicine" recently - his nephew was busy. I have an essay on the Internet “Stop the locomotive, do not knock the wheels. The Secret of the Hit”, there is a photo of Nikolai and details.
The student song “Students live happily from session to session ...” is remembered by many, but the original words are paraphrased (see example below) ... And this is a different song, maybe someone heard it:
DORMITORY*
(Comic student)
The boring giraffe has a long neck, -
It's impossible to sleep with him!
The crocodile has sharp teeth, -
You can't kiss him!
The rhinoceros has dirty paws, -
He messes up the whole bed!
The hippo has no waist, -
I won't be hugged!
And I hit him in the face with a teapot, -
Learned to dance at night!
But the bastard managed to break the bed -
Where can I receive guests?
The hedgehog has sharp needles, -
And they can't play football!
An ant has a mole on its heel, -
He can't be tickled!
The fox has a red tail, -
She has five lovers!
And we are a fox in the face with a teapot
And weaned the bitch to flirt!
And the student does not have a swimsuit, -
At "B..." excellent students despair, -
How to pass the monthly offset!
The giraffe has a long neck;
The hippo has no waist;
The crocodile has sharp teeth;
The rhinoceros has dirty paws;
The hedgehog has long needles;
An ant has a mole on its heel;
The fox has only an aspen waist ...
And the student does not have a swimsuit,
How will the session be done?
Dreaming of marrying the boss
To wash his socks!
*****
"FROM SESSION TO SESSION STUDENTS LIVE FUN"
In the first minutes God created institutions
Adam was his first student.
He did nothing: courted Eva
And God took away his scholarship.
Adam was not at a loss and leaned into the station
Unloading wagons at the station
Ah Eva Eva Evochka You are a good girl
But God punished me for it
Adam has drama, Adam has drama
They called Adam to God's dean's office.
And Adam was thrown directly to Earth
So go students say
From Eve and Adam came a stubborn people
People who don't get discouraged
Students live happily from session to session
And the session is only twice a year
What kind of prejudice is there three times a day
And lie down in a soft bed.
And we without prejudice eat once a day
And don't care about the rest!
We walked the night, we chatted the day
And then we don't know boom-boom
So let's drink to those who walk, to those who know nothing
For a session of random givers!
*****
The author of the words of this song is not Valery Vlasov -
he is a performer of bard, student,
tourist ("bonfire") song ...
In the 70s and 80s, the lyrics were more elegant and melodic.
(e.g. ending):
We walked all night, we talked all day
And therefore did not know a boom-boom.
So let's drink for those who walk, for those who don't know anything,
For the sessions of random dealers!
From session to session, students live cheerfully,
A session, and a session - only twice a year!
*****
P.S.: * - Song with variations of words successfully
was performed by the author with a guitar in women's
and men's student and worker dormitories
from 1979 to 1986, and then I got married...
This verse was seldom sung:
“And the student does not have a bathing suit, -
Runs to the beach naked to sunbathe!
At "B..." excellent students despair, -
As used….! Submit monthly bills!"
Love romances were also performed:
"Autumn of first love,
Interfered with spring ... "and others ...
*****
There is a saying - "Shiny like a cat's eggs!".
Why do cats eggs shine? Look at the sculpture
mascot cat in pince-nez "bat".
It is believed that if this bronze cat is grabbed or rubbed
for eggs, you will be happy and cheerful all your life! Head on tail
was sawn off in the 17th century! The sign is reliable, valid from
ancient times! In the 20th century, the cat was restored because
the testicles were worn down to an unworthy cat size and they attached him
new. Very decent ladies thought it was enough to kiss
cat in the nose
In every odd year, Gabrovo hosts a festival of satire and
humor and annually "April Fool's Day", which attracts lovers
laughter and funny pranks from all "Russian-speaking" countries.
It's like Odessa in the former USSR. Bulgarian language
Slavic root and Slavs communicate freely ...
*****
Illustration: Cute Egypt Style Sculpture. pixgallarehd.com
File:
From session to session students live fun! ( Song lyrics and lyrics)
Am E Am
In the first minutes God created institutions
A7Dm
Adam was his first student
Dm Am
He didn't do anything cared for Eva
E Am
And God deprived him of his scholarship
1. In the first minutes
God created institutions
And Adam was the first student.
Adam was a brave guy
took care of Eva
And God took away his scholarship.
Adam has drama
Drama at Adam
They called Adam to the dean's office.
And straight to the ground
God sent Adam down
That's what the students are talking about.
2. From Eve and Adam
The stubborn people went
Nowhere discouraged people.
The student is cheerful
From session to session
And the session is only twice a year.
What kind of prejudice
There are three times a day
And lie down in a warm bed?!
We are without prejudice
We eat once a day
And don't care about the rest.
3. We skipped a day,
We missed two
And then they did not know a boom-boom.
So let's drink for the walkers,
Let's drink for those who shook,
Session handed over at random.
2. Translation of the song Valery Vlasov - From session to session, students live happily!
(Translation of the text of the song Valery Vlasov - From session to session, students live happily! into English #english version, in English)1. In the first minutes of the
god created institutions,
And Adam student was the first.
adam was the guy bold,
caring for eve,
And the God of his scholarship deprived.
adam drama,
the drama of Adam,
Caused Adam to the Dean's office.
And on the ground right
God pulled Adam,
Well as on what students have to say.
2. From eve and Adam
The people went away stubborn,
Never desponding people.
The student is cheerful
From session to session
A session only twice a year.
What kind of prejudices
There are three times a day
And to go to the warm bed?!
We are without prejudice
Eat once a day
And the rest don't care.
3. The day we were walking,
Two we squandered
And then I don't know, neither the boom-boom.
So drink to the walkers
Have a drink for the shakers
Session handed over at random.
View popular lyrics and translations by Valery Vlasov:
- Valery Vlasov - From session to session, students live happily!
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