WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? IN THE MORNING! IN THE COOP!
Feedback about the "Ordinary Miracle" reached the Celestial Empire
X o z i y k a. What did you do this morning in the chicken coop?
H o z i i n (laughs). So this is what I love!
X o z i y k a. Thank you for such love. I open the chicken coop, and suddenly - hello! All my chickens have four legs...
X o z i and n. Well, what's wrong with that?
X o z i y k a. And the chicken has a mustache like a soldier. Who promised to improve? Who promised to live like everyone else?
Eugene Schwartz. "Ordinary Miracle"
And this is what I read today, the latest information.
According to some media reports, KFC restaurants in China serve dishes made from genetically modified chickens that have three pairs of wings and four pairs of legs.
Well, what is this, if not an "ordinary miracle"?! Rumors are growing fast. And people are gullible. And journalists are susceptible to all sorts of sensations. As soon as one of them visited the premiere of "An Ordinary Miracle" at the Volkov Theatre, where it is impossible not to fall under the spell of our Wizard, Vladimir Meisinger, the four paws in Schwartz's play quickly grew into four pairs of legs and three pairs of chicken wings. Of course, not without the influence of the recent premiere of The Ordinary Miracle, a play by Vasily Senin and playwright Yevgeny Schwartz...
"The Wall Street Journal" writes that KFC, which is not up to humor and magical transformations, sued and demanded from each of the authors of false messages compensation in the amount of 1.5 million yuan (approximately $ 245 thousand), an apology and an end to unfair practices .
In Schwartz's play, genetically modified hens regularly wear mustaches, lay eggs, from which genetically modified chickens hatch. Schwartz looks right into our time! And there is a catering point in the play. But different. It's called the tavern "Emilia". Thank God they don't serve chicken there: it's quite a vegetarian tavern. And in the play - all vegetarians. Only honey (in replicas), wine and milk.
In fact, the dialogue between the Wizard and the Mistress is about the main thing, about poetically crazy thinking, about great love that gives new wings to inspiration, about how important it is not to rush to conclusions. The experiments of the Wizard are fantastic, reflect tragedy, but they do not need a straightforward interpretation.
ROMANCE WITH A BEAR.
Dream.
The second act of The Ordinary Miracle ends with a well-known paradox about love.
The Wizard reproaches the Bear: "How dare you not kiss her? You didn't love the girl!"
Bear. Not true!
X o z i and n. Did not love, otherwise the magical power of recklessness would have seized you. Who dares to reason or predict when high feelings take possession of a person? Beggars, unarmed people throw kings off the throne out of love for their neighbor. Out of love for the motherland, the soldiers trample on death with their feet, and she runs without looking back. Wise men ascend to heaven and dive into hell itself - out of love for the truth. The earth is being rebuilt for the love of
beautiful. What did you do out of love for a girl?
Bear. I gave it up.
Yes, he gave it up. He left, ran away, disappeared. But did he betray his feelings?
To understand the action of the Bear, it is important to comprehend the counterfeitings and counteractions both in the play and in the performance. Lovers do not act as they wish, but exactly the opposite. They crave rapprochement - and evade each other, enter into battle, into a battle, into a brawl ... But all attempts to get closer fail. Then the Bear runs away, then the Princess. Cries, sobs, but runs away.
How strange and how incomprehensibly fate plays with man! The wizard projects his plan, but the heroes run away from his script! They act in their own way, boldly, willfully, resolutely. They get to the point that they are ready to admit that they hate each other. This sharpening of the senses is the truth of the passions. The more interesting it is to take root in the action and rush into its depths.
Then, closer to the finale, we learn that the Princess, having retired, read a hundred books about bears, about their characters and habits ... The King, the Princess's father, even agreed to the Bear groom, saying that he would teach him various kinds of somersaults. But the Princess resolutely rejected the servant bear.
She believed that the predicted could come true, and the Bear from a man would again become a bear as soon as she kissed him.
Both in the play and in the performance we are talking about the Incarnation, about the desire to incarnate completely and completely. This is a sacred, divine plan:
Oh I want to live crazy
Everything that exists - perpetuate,
Impersonal - incarnate,
Unfulfilled - to embody ...
The Dream of the Miracle is about the mystery of the Incarnation, the acquisition of the Human form, soul, heart. This is the incarnation. Most of all here is the spirit, we are not talking about the flesh at all. Although the Bear loves the Princess madly....
Irina Naumkina - Princess - leads the artificial Bear, his copy, his image on stage, like a friend, almost by the hand, i.e. for the paw! She talks to him, enters into a secret agreement with him. And here the Genius as Eros enters imperiously into the performance - and Eros as Genius... (Plato's aphorism is known: "Genius is Eros").
The limits of the greatest pleasure arise on the other side of desires. Not bodily and not carnal is true love. Art, creativity and Eros are close and merged. One of the definitions of love is the ability to enjoy what you want. So the Princess is trying to get the Bear, this is her great sacrifice. The lover is capable of feats in the name of the beloved. And in this strange beast, which is impossible, the language will not turn around, call it a "stuffed animal", so amazingly discovered by the Princess in inanimateness - the Soul.
Running away from the object of love is braking in heaven. There is a curbing of passion, sublimation of Eros, great poetry. The Princess has a “melody of Love”, her Love is a melody, and the degree of feeling is such that we cling to this healing source of poetic imagination without feeling the slightest awkwardness when the heroine finds herself in these “powerful, tender” bear paws. When she caresses him, when she suddenly finds inside the Bear - the Wizard himself, and is not at all surprised, because all this is Magic, a wonderful Dream ...
That's why the third act of "Ordinary Miracle" begins with an episode of the meeting between the Princess and the Bear...
The "miracle" of this performance was the first to be seen by Vladimir Alexandrovich Meisinger - like a Magician who sees farthest without any spyglass. He saw our young theatrical troupe, young actors both in age and in soul. He saw what had only recently been fledglings. They sing solo and in chorus in such a way that it seems to the audience that they are not singing at all, but voices from heaven ... But the voices from "heaven" - pour from here, from the stage of our theater. They are flexible and plastic, dancing in the spotlight, in the light of day and in the dark. They are just as flexible and plastic in the transfer of genres, in the disclosure of characters ... They seem to play the retinue of the King, the king - a caricature, satirical ...
But they also open up another hypostasis. All of them in the performance - the Chorus, sympathizing with the Princess, the Bear. A choir that suffers just like the main characters, a choir that can fall into despair and grief and convey joy and happiness ... And drive the worthless ministers-administrators from the forefront, expressing their contempt to them ...
Here it is - the Young Guard of our Volkovsky.
"An ordinary miracle" is still far from being understood and comprehended by all viewers ... And the performance itself is still being improved, it has just been born ... But really, what good children have grown up! ..
Which
Good
The children have grown!
They have amazingly clear faces!
It must be easier for them to live in the world,
It is easier for them to break through, it is easier for them to achieve.
Let's say they say it's harder:
Exams, all these competitions.
Perhaps it is true. They, the children, know better.
But the children grew up very well.
Of course, these guys are perky,
And yet, judging by the multitude of signs,
We used to be the same,
And it was not humility that brought us to the people.
STARRY SKY OVERHEAD
What does the Bear say to the Princess when they find each other in the finale?
"Zwei Dinge erfüllen das Gemüt mit immer neuer und zunehmender Bewunderung und Ehrfurcht, je öfter und anhaltender sich das Nachdenken damit beschäftigt: der bestirnte Himmel über mir und das moralische Gesetz in mir"
Bestirnte Himmel über mir!
And no moralische!
This zodiac map of the Starry Sky appears in the play "An Ordinary Miracle" staged by Vasily Senin (scenography - Igor Kapitanov) on the Volkovskaya Stage. The star map occupies the entire mirror of the scene. And this magical sky is spinning! Just like the Clock of Time beats its course without stopping even for a second…
Yes, my wonderful friends who watched the performance and wrote to me that they want to put this star map in a frame and hang it at home. You know that in the performance such a picture, among others, exists. And the heroes of the play, sorting through the pictures in frames, choose this particular one and look at it for a long time ... Like the heroes of Tarkovsky's "Solaris" or Lars von Trier's "Melancholia" look at Brueghel's "Hunters in the Snow"...
And of course, we would like the Starry Sky above us to always and forever remain “up there”, above us - and nothing more ...
When the movement of this Firmament determines everything - in life, in art; when the eternal deep questions of our being arise before you, then the main thing becomes what happens in the soul, inside you, us, in the heart - this is the main law ...
And he cannot be born by order, call, slogan...
This is the Ordinary Miracle, which even old Immanuel could not dream of...
EMIL AND EMILIA
In the performance (and in the play by Evgeny Schwartz) "An Ordinary Miracle" - Emil and Emilia once loved each other madly. But they parted because of a pure misunderstanding, someone had to go on principle ...
20 years have passed, and now they met again, in the mountains, in a hotel covered with snow up to the roof. Emil became an innkeeper, and he called the inn, his cafe "Emilia". He cannot forget his beloved ... She appeared swiftly: he attracted her with his divination.
In the performance, this travesty couple ironically reflects the relationship between the Princess and the Bear, the Mistress and the Wizard. The scene of the explanation of the met former lovers fascinates with a manifestation of sincere feelings, although new trials await this couple. But Emilia (the magnificent work of Elena Meisinger - with her cheerfulness and "drums-trumpets", her eccentricity, and Emil - with her hidden irony and lyricism, are ready to overcome all obstacles ...
A play and two films: one filmed in the 60s by Garin Erast, the second by Mark Zakharov in 82. In the first - an exalted enthusiastic Master, caricature heroes, fabulous main characters brought to cloying - a princess and a bear. The director took the word "fairy tale" too literally.
And like a bomb movie 82 years old. With the Master - a magician, writer, author, creator. With what sadness and disappointment he says: “I will no longer help you. I'm not interested in you." Yes... There is no greater sin than fear, cowardice... so the Boss understood the hesitation... what? Weak? If you didn't kiss, it means you don't love... The bear has become too human in 7 years. A person can refuse love, worrying about his beloved ...
Schwartz is a genius, but why in the 60s his genius turned out to be as if veiled, why the magician Garina and the Wizard Zakharova say the same words in completely different ways: “Sleep, my dear ... I just took people, mixed them up and they became live in such a way that you would laugh and cry. Some played better, others worse ... well, do not cross them out for this? Not words - people! (sorry for the cuts). The whole play is filled with love. Out of love for his wife, the Boss stirred up this whole story, out of love, the bear remained a man.
What a wonderful discovery: people are born from love...
Score: 10
Score: 9
Movie Zakharov watched recently. And I didn't like it. Of course, there are wonderful actors and getting into the characters of Simonova, Vasilyeva and Solomin, but the “authorship”, as it seemed to me, crushed the text. The static scenery and the image created by Jankowski create a heavy atmosphere. At one point it seemed to me that the Boss was just communicating with his dead wife, and there was no one else around at all, only an octopus magician with his house.
However, already during the viewing, the impression arose that Zakharov was pressing, so I wanted to touch the original source. The result was exactly what I expected: the words were stunted and withdrawn. In general, surprisingly, the play seemed much less theatrical than the director's vision. The owner does seem to be a bit of a sad jovial fellow. The hostess is a real hostess. Although, perhaps, I'm being a little cunning here: at the same time, I did watch The Ordinary Miracle in Garin's version. The film 1964 is much more traditional and does not have the status of a cult, but IMHO there are much more hits in the images. For example, Mironov flashed the phrase: “You are attractive, I am damn attractive,” but I believed Georgiou with his impulsiveness and hysteria much more.
The play itself is a beautiful kind tale about the power of love and the responsibility of the creator. It seems to me that it makes no sense to tear it apart into the simplest elements, especially since everyone can form their own vision from reading and viewing. For example, while reading, I simply heard the voices of the actors who fell into the role for me. Most often these were actors selected by Garin and that's it.
Total: In my opinion, this is the case when the well-known production did not benefit the play. The play itself is sweet and kind, devoid of the desolation and dust of the old theater, although Zakharov's heavy atmosphere intensified the conflict. That is my opinion.
Score: 8
Unlike many, I first read the play, and then only found out about the film - it was a long time ago, even at the time of my not quite youth, but not my childhood anymore. I remember that I didn’t like the Wizard at all - who and what right gave him the right to manage the life of a bear, but this is a living creature! - I thought ... The Minister-Administrator was completely annoying - how can such a rare bastard live in the world ... And the Hunter did not cause anything positive in me at all. Then I watched the film - in detail and carefully, and the attitude towards different characters became completely different. I fell in love with the Wizard, hated the Administrator even more, and the rest of the characters became simply noticeable to me - they somehow got lost in the play ... In general, I am glad that the film and the book have now become inseparable, it only helps to understand and accept many the things they describe.
Score: 10
First I saw the version of M. Zakharov with Abdulov and Simonova in the lead roles, a very romantic couple: a courageous, cowboy-like Bear and a fragile, tender, vulnerable, but strong Princess. But, to be honest, I remember most of all the King performed by E. Leonov. The film impressed me so much that I also reviewed the old version with the amazing, perhaps really Hollywood beauty actor O. Vidov.
And then it was time for reading. Well? The play is wonderful, beautiful and correct: Love conquers all obstacles, drives away death and reigns forever, even if our earthly life is short.
I really liked the way the characters of the fairy tale invented by the Wizard (all writers are a little magicians) break out of the framework of the work and begin to live in their own way. So, do not be afraid: "everything will be right, the world is built on this"!
Score: 10
Manor in the Carpathian mountains. Here, having married and decided to settle down and take care of the household, a certain magician settled. He is in love with his wife and promises her to live “like everyone else”, but the soul asks for something magical, and the owner of the estate is unable to resist “pranks”. And now the Mistress guesses that her husband has started new miracles. It turns out that difficult guests are about to arrive at the house.
The young man appears first. When asked by the Mistress what his name is, he answers: Bear. The magician, having informed his wife that it was because of the young man that amazing events would begin, admits that seven years ago he turned a young bear he met in the forest into a man. The hostess cannot stand it when “for the sake of their own fun they torture animals,” and begs her husband to make the young man a bear again and set him free. It turns out that this is possible, but only if some princess falls in love with a young man and kisses him, the Mistress feels sorry for the unknown girl, she is frightened by the dangerous game that her husband started.
Meanwhile, the sound of a trumpet is heard announcing the arrival of new guests. It was the King passing by who suddenly wanted to turn into the estate. The owner warns that now they will see a rude and outrageous. However, the King who entered is at first polite and amiable. True, he soon breaks out a confession that he is a despot, vindictive and capricious. But twelve generations of ancestors are to blame for this (“all the monsters, one to one!”), Because of them, he, by nature, a good-natured and clever man, sometimes does things that even cry!
After an unsuccessful attempt to treat the hosts with poisoned wine, the King, declaring the late uncle responsible for his trick, says that the Princess, his daughter, did not inherit the villainous family tendencies, she is kind and even softens his own cruel disposition. The host escorts the guest to the rooms designated for him.
The Princess enters the house and runs into the Bear at the door. Sympathy immediately arises between young people. The princess is not accustomed to simple and cordial treatment, she likes to talk to the Bear.
The sound of trumpets is heard - the royal retinue is approaching. The boy and girl run away holding hands. “Well, a hurricane has come, love has come!” - says the Hostess, who heard their conversation.
Courtiers appear. All of them: the First Minister, the First Cavalier Lady, and the maids of honor are scared to shiver by the Minister-Administrator, who, being able to please the King in everything, completely subjugated him, and keeps his retinue in a black body. Entered Administrator, looking into the notebook, calculates income. Having winked at the Mistress, he, without any preamble, appoints her a love date, but, having learned that her husband is a magician and can turn him into a rat, he apologizes, and takes out his anger on the courtiers who have appeared.
Meanwhile, first the King and the Master enter the room, then the Princess and the Bear. Noticing the joy on his daughter's face, the King understands that the reason for this is a new acquaintance. He is ready to welcome the title to the young man and take him on a journey. The princess admits that the young man has become her best friend, she is ready to kiss him. But, realizing who she is, the Bear runs away in horror and despair. The princess is confused. She leaves the room. The king is going to execute the courtiers if none of them can give him advice on how to help the Princess. The executioner is already ready. Suddenly the door swings open, the Princess appears in the doorway in a man's dress, with a sword and pistols. She orders to saddle the horse, says goodbye to her father and disappears. The sound of a horse is heard. The king rushes after him, ordering his retinue to follow him. "Well, are you satisfied?" - the Mistress asks her husband. "Very!" he answers.
On a bad winter evening, the owner of the Emilia tavern sadly recalls the girl he once loved and after whom he named his establishment. He still dreams of meeting her. There is a knock on the door. The innkeeper lets in the travelers covered with snow - this is the King and his retinue looking for his daughter.
Meanwhile, the Princess is in this house. Disguised as a boy, she became an apprentice to a hunter who lives here.
While the Innkeeper arranges for his guests to rest, the Bear appears. A little later, he meets the Princess, but does not recognize her in a man's suit. He says that he ran away from love for a girl who is very similar to a new acquaintance and, as it seems to him, is also in love with him. The princess makes fun of the Bear. The outbreak of the dispute ends with a sword fight. Making a lunge, the young man knocks off his opponent's hat - braids fall, the masquerade is over. The girl is offended by the Bear and is ready to die, but to prove to him that he is indifferent to her. The bear wants to run again. But the house is covered with snow up to the very roof, it is impossible to get out.
Meanwhile, the Innkeeper discovers that the First Cavalier Lady is the Emilia he had lost. There is an explanation and reconciliation. The king is happy that his daughter was found, but when he sees her sad, he demands that one of the courtiers go to comfort her. The lot falls to the Administrator, who is terribly afraid that the Princess will simply shoot him. However, he returns alive and, in addition, with unexpected news - the royal daughter has decided to marry him! Furious Bear immediately proposes to two ladies-in-waiting at once. The Princess appears in her wedding dress: the wedding is in an hour! The young man seeks permission to talk to her alone and reveals his secret to her: by the will of the wizard, he will turn into a bear as soon as he kisses her - this is the reason for his flight. The princess leaves in despair.
Suddenly, music is heard, the windows swing open, behind them is not snow, but flowering meadows. The merry Boss bursts in, but his joy quickly fades: the expected miracle did not happen. “How dare you not kiss her?! he asks the Bear. "You didn't love the girl!"
The owner leaves. Snow outside again. Completely depressed, the Bear turns to the hunter who entered with a question if he has a desire to kill the hundredth bear (he boasted that he had 99 killed bears on his account), because he would still find the Princess, kiss her and turn into a beast. After hesitating, the hunter agrees to take advantage of the "courtesy" of the young man.
A year has passed. The innkeeper married his beloved Emilia. The bear disappeared no one knows where: the magician's spell does not let him go to the Princess. And the girl, because of unhappy love, fell ill and is about to die. All the courtiers are in deep sadness. Only the Administrator, although his wedding did not take place, became even richer and more impudent, and does not believe in death from love.
The princess wants to say goodbye to her friends and asks to brighten up her last moments. Among those present and the Host with the Hostess. Footsteps are heard in the depths of the garden - the Bear still got here! The princess is glad and confesses that she loves and forgives him, let him turn into a bear, so long as he does not leave. She hugs and kisses the young man. (“Glory to the brave who dare to love, knowing that all this will come to an end,” the wizard said a little earlier.) There is a clap of thunder, darkness reigns for a moment, then the light flashes, and everyone sees that the Bear has remained a man. The magician is delighted: a miracle has happened! To celebrate, he turns the annoying Administrator into a rat and is ready to perform new miracles, "so as not to burst from excess strength."
Evgeny Schwartz
Ordinary miracle
Ekaterina Ivanovna Schwartz
Characters
Master.
hostess.
Bear.
King.
Princess.
Minister-Administrator.
First Minister.
court lady.
Orinthia.
Amanda.
Innkeeper.
Hunter.
hunter's apprentice.
Executioner.
Before the curtain appears Human, who says to the audience quietly and thoughtfully:
“Ordinary miracle”—what a strange name! If it's a miracle, then it's extraordinary! And if ordinary - therefore, not a miracle.
The answer is that we are talking about love. A boy and a girl fall in love with each other - which is common. Quarreling - which is also not uncommon. Almost die of love. And finally, the strength of their feelings reaches such a height that it begins to work real miracles - which is both surprising and usual.
You can talk about love and sing songs, and we will tell a fairy tale about it.
In a fairy tale, the ordinary and the miraculous are very conveniently placed side by side and are easily understood if one looks at a fairy tale as a fairy tale. As in childhood. Do not look for hidden meaning in it. A fairy tale is told not in order to hide, but in order to reveal, to say with all its might, with all its might, what you think.
Among the characters in our fairy tale, closer to the "ordinary", you will recognize people who you have to meet quite often. For example, the king. You can easily guess in him an ordinary apartment despot, a frail tyrant who deftly knows how to explain his excesses by considerations of principle. Or dystrophy of the heart muscle. Or psychasthenia. And also heredity. In the tale, he is made a king so that his character traits reach their natural limit. You will also recognize the minister-administrator, a dashing supplier. And the honored worker of hunting. And some others.
But the heroes of the tale, closer to the "miracle", are deprived household shit today. Such are the wizard, and his wife, and the princess, and the bear.
How do such different people get along in one fairy tale? And it's very simple. As in life.
And our fairy tale begins simply. One wizard got married, settled down and took up farming. But no matter how you feed the wizard, everything draws him to miracles, transformations and amazing adventures. And so he got involved in the love story of those very young people about whom I spoke at the beginning. And everything became tangled, tangled - and finally unraveled so unexpectedly that the magician himself, accustomed to miracles, threw up his hands in surprise.
It all ended in grief for lovers or happiness - you will find out at the very end of the tale. (Disappears.)
Act one
Manor in the Carpathian mountains. Large room, sparkling clean. On the hearth is a dazzling copper coffee pot. A bearded man, huge, broad-shouldered, sweeps the room and talks to himself at the top of his voice. This the owner of the estate.
Master. Like this! That's nice! I work and work, as befits a master, everyone will look and praise, everything is with me like with people. I don’t sing, I don’t dance, I don’t tumble like a wild beast. It is impossible for the owner of an excellent estate in the mountains to roar like a bison, no, no! I work without any liberties ... Ah! (Listens, covers face with hands.) She goes! She! She! Her steps ... I've been married for fifteen years, and I'm still in love with my wife, like a boy, honestly so! Goes! She! (Chuckles shyly.) Here are some trifles, the heart beats so that it even hurts ... Hello, wife!
Included hostess, still a young, very attractive woman.
Hello wife, hello! How long have we parted, just an hour ago, but I'm glad for you, as if we hadn't seen each other for a year, that's how much I love you ... (Scared.) What happened to you? Who dared to offend you?
hostess. You.
Master. Are you kidding! Oh I'm rude! The poor woman, standing so sad, shaking her head ... That's the trouble! What the hell have I done?
hostess. Think.
Master. Yes, where is there to think ... Speak, do not talk ...
hostess. What did you do this morning in the chicken coop?
Master (laughs). So this is what I love!
hostess. Thank you for such love. I open the chicken coop, and suddenly - hello! All my chickens have four legs...
Master. Well, what's wrong with that?
hostess. And the chicken has a mustache like a soldier.
Master. Ha ha ha!
hostess. Who promised to improve? Who promised to live like everyone else?
Master. Well, dear, well, dear, well, forgive me! What can you do ... After all, I'm a magician!
hostess. You never know!
Master. It was a cheerful morning, the sky was clear, there was nowhere to put my strength, it was so good. Wanted to fool around...
hostess. Well, I would do something useful for the economy. Vaughn brought the sand to sprinkle the paths. I would take it and turn it into sugar.
Master. Well, what a prank!
hostess. Or those stones that are stacked near the barn, he would turn into cheese.
Master. Not funny!
hostess. Well, what should I do with you? I fight, I fight, and you are still the same wild hunter, mountain wizard, crazy bearded man!
Master. I'm trying!
hostess. So everything is going nicely, like with people, and suddenly - bang! - thunder, lightning, miracles, transformations, fairy tales, all sorts of legends ... Poor thing ... (Kisses him.) Well, go, dear!
Master. Where?
hostess. To the chicken coop.
Master. For what?
hostess. Fix what you did there.
Master. I can not!
hostess. Oh please!
Master. I can not. You yourself know how things are in the world. Sometimes you fool around - and then you fix everything. And sometimes click - and there is no turning back! I beat these chickens with a magic wand, and curled them with a whirlwind, and struck them seven times with lightning - all in vain! So, you can't fix what's been done here.
hostess. Well, there's nothing to be done ... Every day I will shave a chicken, and turn away from chickens. Well, now let's move on to the most important thing. Who are you waiting for?
Master. Nobody.
hostess. Look into my eyes.
Master. I'm watching.
hostess. Tell the truth, what will happen? What kind of guests should we receive today? Of people? Or will the ghosts come and play dice with you? Don't be afraid, speak up. If we have the ghost of a young nun, then I will even be glad. She promised to capture from the other world a pattern of a blouse with wide sleeves, which was worn three hundred years ago. This style is back in fashion. Is the nun coming?
common room in the tavern "Emilia" | late evening | blazing fire in fireplace | light | cozy | walls tremble from desperate gusts of wind | behind the counter - innkeeper | This is a small, fast, slender, graceful person in movements.
Innkeeper
Well, the weather! Blizzard, storm, avalanches, avalanches! Even wild goats got scared and ran to my yard to ask for help. How many years have I lived here, on a mountain peak, among the eternal snows, but I don’t remember such a hurricane. It is good that my tavern is built securely, like a good castle, the pantries are full, the fire is burning. Tavern "Emilia"! Emilia Tavern... Emilia... Yes, yes... Hunters pass by, lumberjacks drive by, mast pines are dragged by, wanderers wander about no one knows where, no one knows where, and they all ring the bell, knock on the door, come in to rest, talk, laugh, complain. And every time, like a fool, I hope that by some miracle she will suddenly enter here. She's gray now, I guess. Gray-haired. I have been married for a long time ... And yet - I dream of at least hearing her voice. Emilia, Emilia...
the bell is ringing
My God!
knock on the door | the innkeeper rushes to open
Sign in! Please come in!
includes king, ministers, courtiers | they are all wrapped up from head to toe, covered with snow
To the fire, gentlemen, to the fire! Don't cry, ladies, please! I understand that it’s hard not to be offended when they hit you in the face, put snow up your collar, push you into a snowdrift, but the storm does this without any malice, by accident. The storm just broke out - and that's it. Let me help you. Like this. Hot wine, please. Like this!
Minister
What a wonderful wine!
Innkeeper
Thank you! I myself grew the vine, I myself crushed the grapes, I myself aged the wine in my cellars and serve it to people with my own hands. I do everything myself. When I was young, I hated people, but it's so boring! After all, then you don’t want to do anything and you are overcome by fruitless, sad thoughts. And so I began to serve people and gradually became attached to them. Hot milk, ladies! Yes, I serve people and I'm proud of it! I believe that the innkeeper is higher than Alexander the Great. He killed people, and I feed them, amuse them, hide them from bad weather. Of course, I charge money for this, but Macedonian did not work for free either. More wine please! With whom do I have the honor of speaking? However, as you wish. I'm used to strangers hiding their names.
King
Innkeeper, I am the king.
Innkeeper
Good evening, Your Majesty!
King
Good evening. I'm very unhappy, innkeeper!
Innkeeper
It happens, your majesty.
King
You're lying, I'm incredibly unhappy! During this damned storm, I felt better. And now I warmed up, came to life and all my anxieties and sorrows came to life with me. What a disgrace! Give me more wine!
Innkeeper
Do me a favor!
King
My daughter is missing!
Innkeeper
Ah ah ah!
King
These loafers, these parasites left the child unattended. The daughter fell in love, quarreled, dressed as a boy and disappeared. She didn't visit you?
Innkeeper
Alas, no, my lord!
King
Who lives in the tavern?
Innkeeper
The famous hunter with two students.
King
Hunter? Call him! He could meet my daughter. After all, hunters hunt everywhere!
Innkeeper
Alas, my lord, this hunter does not hunt at all now.
King
And what does he do?
Innkeeper
Fighting for his glory. He has already obtained fifty diplomas confirming that he is famous, and has shot sixty detractors of his talent.
King
And what is he doing here?
Innkeeper
Resting! Fight for your glory - what could be more tiring?
King
Well, then to hell with it. Hey, you there, sentenced to death! Let's hit the road!
Innkeeper
Where are you, sir? Think! You are heading for certain death!
King
What about you? It’s easier for me where they beat snow on my face and push me in the neck. Get up!
the courtiers rise
Innkeeper
Wait, your majesty! No need to be capricious, no need to climb in spite of fate to the very devil's paws. I understand that when trouble comes, it's hard to sit still...
King
Impossible!
Innkeeper
And sometimes you have to! On such a night, you will not find anyone, but only you yourself will go missing.
King
Well, let!
Innkeeper
You can't just think about yourself. Not a boy, thank God, the father of the family. Well well well! No need to grimace, clench your fists, grind your teeth. You listen to me! I'm talking! My hotel is equipped with everything that can benefit guests. Have you heard that people have now learned to transmit thoughts over a distance?
King
The court scholar tried to tell me something about this, but I fell asleep.
Innkeeper
And in vain! Now I will ask the neighbors about the poor princess without leaving this room.
King
Honestly?
Innkeeper
See. A five-hour drive from us is a monastery where my best friend works as housekeeper. This is the most curious monk in the world. He knows everything that is going on a hundred miles around. Now I will give him everything that is required, and in a few seconds I will receive an answer. Hush hush, Friends my, do not move, do not sigh so heavily: I need to concentrate. So. I transmit thoughts over a distance. “Ay! Ay! Hop-hop! Monastery for men, cell nine, father steward. Economy Father! Hop-hop! Ay! Mountains got lost young woman men's dress. Tell me where she is. Kiss. Innkeeper". That's all. Ma'am, don't cry. I tune in to the reception, and women's tears upset me. Like this. Thank you. Quiet. I'm going to the reception. Tavern "Emilia". Innkeeper. I don't know unfortunately. Came to the monastery two carcasses of black goats. All clear! The father-keeper, unfortunately, does not know where the princess is, and asks to send for the monastery meal ...
King
To hell with the meal! Ask other neighbors!
Innkeeper
Alas, sir, if the father of the economy knows nothing, then all the others even more so.
King
I'm going to swallow a bag of gunpowder, hit myself in the stomach and tear myself to shreds!
Innkeeper
These home remedies never help anything.
takes a bunch of keys
I will give you the largest room, my lord!
King
What will I do there?
Innkeeper
Walk from corner to corner. And at dawn we will go together in search. I speak true. Here's the key. And you, gentlemen, get the keys to your rooms. This is the smartest thing you can do today. Rest, my friends! Gather strength! Take candles. Like this. Please follow me!
leaves, accompanied by the king and courtiers | immediately the apprentice of the famous hunter enters the room | looking around cautiously, he calls quail | he is answered by the chirping of a starling, and a hunter peeks into the room
Student
Go boldly! There is no one here!
Hunter
If it's the hunters who came here, then I'll shoot you like a hare.
Student
Yes, what am I doing here? God!
Hunter
Be quiet! Wherever I go to rest, cursed hunters huddle everywhere. I hate! Yes, even here the hunting wives discuss hunting matters at random! Ugh! You are an idiot!
Student
God! Yes, what am I doing here?
Hunter
Get it right on your nose: if these visitors are hunters, then we are leaving immediately. Blockhead! It's not enough to kill you!
Student
What is it? But why are you torturing me, boss! Yes I…
Hunter
Be quiet! Shut up when the elders get angry! What do you want? So that I, a real hunter, waste charges for nothing? No, brother! That's why I keep students, so that my scolding will offend at least someone. I have no family, be patient. Did you send letters?
Student
Carried before the storm. And when I went back...
Hunter
Shut up! Sent everything? And what's in the big envelope? Head of the hunt?
Student
Everything, everything! And when I went back, I saw footprints. Both hare and fox.
Hunter
Damn the footprints! There is time for me to do stupid things when there are fools and envious people digging a hole for me down there.
Student
Maybe they don't dig?
Hunter
They dig, I know them!
Student
Well, let. And we would have shot a whole mountain of game - that's when they would be afraid of us ... They are a hole for us, and we are their prey, well, it turned out that we are great, and they are scoundrels. Would shoot...
Hunter
Donkey! If I could shoot... When they start discussing my every shot down there, you'll go crazy! The fox, they say, he killed, as last year, did not bring anything new to the hunting business. And if, what good, you miss! I, who hit so far without a miss? Be quiet! I will kill!
very soft
Where is my new student?
Student
Cleans the gun.
Hunter
Well done!
Student
Certainly! Whoever is new to you is well done.
Hunter
So what? First, I do not know him and can expect any miracles from him. Secondly, he does not know me and therefore respects me without any reservations and reasoning. Not like you!
the bell is ringing
My fathers! Someone has arrived! In such weather! Honestly, it's some kind of hunter. I deliberately climbed out into a storm so that later I could brag ...
knock on the door
Open up you fool! That would have killed you!
Student
Lord, why am I here?
unlocks the door | bear enters, covered in snow, stunned | shakes off, looks around
Bear
Where did it take me?
Hunter
Go to the fire, get warm.
Bear
Thank you. Is this a hotel?
Hunter
Yes. The owner is about to leave. Are you a hunter?
Bear
What do you! What do you!
Hunter
Why do you speak with such horror about this?
Bear
I don't I love hunters.
Hunter
Do you know them, young man?
Bear
Yes, we met.
Hunter
Hunters are the most worthy people on earth! These are all honest, simple guys. They love their job. They get stuck in swamps, climb mountain peaks, wander through such a bowl, where even the beast has a terrible time. And they do it all out of love for gain, not out of ambition, no, no! They are driven by a noble passion! Understood?
Bear
No, I didn't understand. But I beg you, let's not argue! I didn't know you liked hunters so much!
Hunter
Who am I? I just can't stand being scolded by strangers.
Bear
Okay, I won't scold them. I am busy.
Hunter
I'm a hunter myself! Famous!
Bear
I'm really sorry.
Hunter
Apart from small game, I have shot five hundred deer, five hundred goats, four hundred wolves, and ninety-nine bears in my lifetime.
bear jumps up
Why did you jump?
Bear
Killing bears is like killing children!
Hunter
Good kids! Have you seen their claws?
Bear
Yes. They are much shorter than hunting daggers.
Hunter
And the bear's saw?
Bear
There was no need to tease the beast.
Hunter
I am so indignant that there are simply no words, I will have to shoot.
screaming
Hey! Little boy! Bring the gun here! Alive! Now I will kill you, young man.
Bear
I don't care.
Hunter
Where are you, little one? Gun, gun for me.
princess runs in | in her hands a gun | Bear jumps up | princess
Look, student, and learn. This insolent and ignorant person will now be killed. Don't feel sorry for him. He is not a man, because he does not understand anything in art. Give me the gun, boy. What are you holding him to you like a small child?
the innkeeper runs in
Innkeeper
What's happened? Ah, I understand. Give him a gun, boy, don't be afraid. While the famous hunter was resting after dinner, I poured out the powder from all the charges. I know the habits of my venerable guest!
Hunter
Damn!
Innkeeper
Not a curse at all, dear friend. You are old brawlers, deep down you are pleased when your hands are grabbed.
Hunter
Innkeeper
OK OK! Better eat a double portion of hunting sausages.
Hunter
Come on, to hell with you. And a double shot of hunting tincture.
Innkeeper
That's better.
Hunter (students)
Sit down, little ones. Tomorrow, when the weather clears up, we'll go hunting.
Student
Hunter
In the hassle and bustle, I forgot what a lofty, beautiful art it is. This idiot pissed me off.
Innkeeper
Hush you!
takes the bear to the far corner, sits him down at the table
Please sit down, sir. What's wrong with you? Are you unwell? Now I will heal you. I have an excellent first-aid kit for those passing by… Do you have a fever?
Bear
Don't know…
in a whisper
Who's that girl?
Innkeeper
Everything is clear ... You go crazy with unhappy love. Here, unfortunately, drugs are powerless.
Bear
Who's that girl?
Innkeeper
She's not here, poor thing!
Bear
Well, why not! There she is whispering with the hunter.
Innkeeper
It all makes you wonder! It's not her at all, it's him. It's just a student of the famous hunter. Do you understand me?
Bear
Thank you. Yes.
Hunter
What are you whispering about me?
Innkeeper
And not about you at all.
Hunter
Doesn't matter! I can't stand it when people stare at me. Take dinner to my room. Students follow me!
innkeeper carries a tray with dinner | hunter with apprentice and princess follow | bear rushes after them | suddenly the door swings open before the bear can reach it | on the threshold of the princess | for a while the princess and the Bear silently look at each other | but now the princess goes around the bear, goes to the table at which she was sitting, takes the handkerchief forgotten there and heads for the exit without looking at the bear
Bear
Excuse me... You don't have a sister?
the princess shakes her head
Sit with me for a while. Please! The fact is that you are remarkably similar to the girl that I need to forget as soon as possible. Where are you?
Princess
I don't want to remind you of what needs to be forgotten.
Princess
You are delirious.
Bear
It may very well be. I'm in a fog.
Princess
Bear
I drove and drove for three days, without rest, without a road. I would have gone further, but my horse cried like a child when I wanted to pass this hotel.
Princess
Have you killed anyone?
Bear
No you!
Princess
From whom did you run like a criminal?
Bear
From love.
Princess
What a funny story!
Bear
Do not laugh. I know young people are cruel people. After all, they haven't experienced anything yet. I was like that only three days ago. But since then he has mellowed. Have you ever been in love?
Princess
I don't believe in this nonsense.
Bear
I didn't believe it either. And then fell in love.
Princess
Who is this, may I ask?
Bear
The same girl who looks just like you.
Princess
See please.
Bear
I beg you, don't smile! I'm seriously in love!
Princess
Yes, you can’t run away from an easy hobby so far.
Bear
Oh, you don't understand... I fell in love and was happy. Not for long, but like never before in my life. And then…
Princess
Bear
Then I suddenly learned something about this girl that turned everything upside down at once. And to top it off, I suddenly saw clearly that she, too, had fallen in love with me.
Princess
What a blow for a lover!
Bear
In this case, a terrible blow! And even scarier, scarier than anything, I felt when she said she would kiss me.
Princess
Stupid girl!
Bear
Princess
Contemptible fool!
Bear
Don't you dare talk about her like that!
Princess
She's worth it.
Bear
Don't judge! This is a beautiful girl. Simple and trusting, like... like... like me!
Princess
You? You are a sly, braggart and talker.
Bear
Princess
Yes! With thinly hidden triumph, you tell the first person you meet about your victories.
Bear
So that's how you got me?
Princess
Yes exactly! She is stupid...
Bear
Please speak respectfully of her!
Princess
She's stupid, stupid, stupid!
Bear
Enough! Daring puppies are punished!
draws his sword
Protect yourself!
Princess
At your service!
fighting fiercely
Twice already I could have killed you.
Bear
And I, little boy, am looking for death!
Princess
Why didn't you die unaided?
Bear
Health does not allow.
makes a lunge | knocks the hat off the head of the princess | her heavy braids fall almost to the ground | bear drops sword
Princess! Here is happiness! Here's the trouble! It is you! You! Why are you here?
Princess
For three days I have been chasing you. Only in a storm I lost your trail, met a hunter and went to be his student.
Bear
Have you been chasing me for three days?
Princess
Yes! To say how much I care about you. Know that you are all the same to me ... all the same as a grandmother, and even a stranger! And I'm not going to kiss you! And I didn't mean to fall in love with you at all. Farewell!
leaves | returns
You have offended me so much that I will still take revenge on you! I'll show you how much I care about you. I'll die, but I'll prove it!
leaves
Bear
Run, run faster! She got angry and scolded me, but I saw only her lips and thought, thought of one thing: now I will kiss her! Cursed bear! Run, run! Or maybe one more time, just to look at her once. Her eyes are so clear! And she is here, here, next to me, behind the wall. Take a few steps and...
laughs
Just think - she is in the same house with me! Here is happiness! What am I doing! I will destroy her and myself! Hey you beast! Get out of here! Let's hit the road!
the innkeeper enters
I'd like to check out!
Innkeeper
This is impossible.
Bear
I'm not afraid of a hurricane.
Innkeeper
Of course of course! But can't you hear how quiet it is?
Bear
Right. Why is this?
Innkeeper
I tried now to go out into the yard to see if the roof of the new barn had been blown off, and I couldn't.
Bear
Could not?
Innkeeper
We are buried under the snow. In the last half hour, not flakes, but whole snowdrifts fell from the sky. My old friend, the mountain wizard, got married and settled down, otherwise I would have thought it was his pranks.
Bear
If you can't leave, then lock me up!
Innkeeper
Lock up?
Bear
Yes, yes, on the key?
Innkeeper
Bear
I can't date her! I love her!
Innkeeper
Bear
Princess!
Innkeeper
She is here?
Bear
Here. She changed into a man's dress. I immediately recognized her, but you did not believe me.
Innkeeper
So it really was her?
Bear
She! My God... Only now, when I don't see her, I begin to understand how she insulted me!
Innkeeper
Bear
How not? Did you hear what she said to me here?
Innkeeper
Didn't hear it, but it's all the same. I've been through so much that I understand everything.
Bear
With an open mind, in a friendly way, I complained to her about my bitter fate, and she overheard me like a traitor.
Innkeeper
I don't understand. Did she overhear you complaining to her?
Bear
Ah, I thought then that I was talking to a young man who looked like her! So understand me! Everything is over! I won't say a word to her again! This cannot be forgiven! When the path is clear, I will just once silently look at her and leave. Lock me up, lock me up!
Innkeeper
Here's the key. Go. There is your room. No, no, I won't lock you up. There's a brand new lock on the door, and I'll be sorry if you break it. Good night. Go, go!
Bear
Good night.
leaves
Innkeeper
Good night. Just don't find it for you, you can't find peace anywhere. Lock yourself in a monastery - loneliness will remind you of her. Open a tavern by the road - every knock on the door will remind you of it.
the lady of the court enters
Lady
Excuse me, but the candle in my room goes out all the time.
Innkeeper
Emilia! After all, is this true? Is your name Emilia?
Lady
Yes, that's my name. But sir...
Innkeeper
Lady
Damn me!
Innkeeper
Do you recognize me?
Lady
Innkeeper
That was the name of the young man whom the cruel girl forced to flee to distant lands, to the mountains, to the eternal snows.
Lady
Don't look at me. The face brightened up. However, to hell with everything. See. That's what I am. Funny?
Innkeeper
I see you the same as twenty-five years ago.
Lady
A curse!
Innkeeper
At the most crowded masquerades, I recognized you under any mask.
Lady
Innkeeper
What do I care about the mask that time has put on you!
Lady
But you didn't recognize me right away!
Innkeeper
You were so wrapped up. Do not laugh!
Lady
I have learned to cry. You recognize me, but you don't know me. I became vicious. Especially lately. No tubes?
Innkeeper
Lady
I smoke lately. Secretly. Sailor tobacco. Hell Potion. From this tobacco the candle went out all the time in my room. I also tried drinking. Did not like. Here's what I've become now.
Innkeeper
You have always been like this.
Lady
Innkeeper
Yes. You have always had a stubborn and proud disposition. Now it affects in a new way - that's the whole difference. Were you married?
Lady
Innkeeper
Lady
You didn't know him.
Innkeeper
He is here?
Lady
Innkeeper
And I thought that this young page became your husband.
Lady
He also died.
Innkeeper
Here's how? From what?
Lady
He drowned, going in search of his youngest son, whom the storm swept into the sea. The young man was picked up by a merchant ship, and his father drowned.
Innkeeper
So. So, the young page...
Lady
He became a gray-haired scientist and died, and you are all angry with him.
Innkeeper
You kissed him on the balcony!
Lady
And you danced with the general's daughter.
Innkeeper
Dance well!
Lady
Damn it! You were whispering something in her ear all the time!
Innkeeper
I whispered to her: one, two, three! One two Three! One two Three! She was out of step all the time.
Lady
Innkeeper
Terribly funny! To tears.
Lady
What makes you think that we would be happy if we got married?
Innkeeper
Do you doubt it? Yes? Why are you silent!
Lady
There is no eternal love.
Innkeeper
At the tavern counter, I hadn't heard much about love. And you shouldn't say that. You have always been intelligent and observant.
Lady
OK. Well, forgive me, damned, for kissing this boy. Give me your hand.
Emil and Emilia shake hands
OK it's all over Now. You can't start life from the beginning.
Innkeeper
Doesn't matter. I'm happy to see you.
Lady
Me too. The more stupid. OK. I have learned to cry now. Just laugh or scold. Let's talk about something else, if you don't want me to swear like a coachman or neigh like a horse.
Innkeeper
Yes Yes. We have something to talk about. In my house, two children in love could die without our help.
Lady
Who are these poor people?
Innkeeper
The princess and that young man, because of whom she ran away from home. He came here after you.
Lady
They met?
Innkeeper
Yes. And they got into a fight.
Lady
Beat the drums!
Innkeeper
What are you saying?
Lady
Blow the pipes!
Innkeeper
Which pipes?
Lady
Never mind. Palace habit. This is how we command in case of fire, flood, hurricane. Guard, in the gun! Something must be done immediately. I'll go report to the king. Children are dying! Swords out! Prepare for battle! With bayonets!
runs away
Innkeeper
I understood everything ... Emilia was married to the palace commandant. Blow the pipes! Beat the drums! Swords out! Smokes. Cursing. Poor, proud, tender Emilia! Did he understand to whom he was married, damned rude, the kingdom of heaven to him!
the king, the first minister, the minister-administrator, the ladies-in-waiting, the lady of the court run in
King
Have you seen her?
Innkeeper
King
Pale, thin, barely able to stand?
Innkeeper
Tanned, eats well, runs like a boy.
King
Ha ha ha! Well done.
Innkeeper
Thank you.
King
Not you well done, she is well done. Anyway, use it anyway. And is he here?
Innkeeper
King
In love?
Innkeeper
King
Ha ha ha! That's it! Know ours. Suffering?
Innkeeper
King
It serves him right! Ha ha ha! He is suffering, but she is alive, healthy, calm, cheerful ...
a hunter enters, accompanied by a student
Hunter
Give me a drop!
Innkeeper
Hunter
How much do I know? My student is bored.
Innkeeper
Student
What more! I'll die - he won't even notice.
Hunter
My new one is bored, does not eat, does not drink, answers inappropriately.
King
Princess?
Hunter
Who, who?
Innkeeper
Your new one is a princess in disguise.
Student
The wolf will bite you! And I almost hit her on the neck!
Hunter (student)
Scoundrel! Blockhead! You can't tell a boy from a girl!
Student
You didn't distinguish either.
Hunter
I have time to deal with such trifles!
King
Shut up! Where is the princess?
Hunter
But, but, but, don't yell, my dear! I have a delicate, nervous job. I can't stand yelling. I'll kill you and I won't answer!
Innkeeper
This is the king!
Hunter
bows low
Excuse me, your majesty.
King
Where is my daughter?
Hunter
Their Highnesses would like to sit by the hearth in our room. They sit and look at the coals.
King
Take me to her!
Hunter
Happy to serve, Your Majesty! This way, please, Your Majesty. I will accompany you, and you give me a diploma. Say, he taught the royal daughter the noble art of hunting.
King
Okay, then.
Hunter
Thank you, your majesty.
go away | manager shuts up
Administrator
Now, now we will hear the firing!
Innkeeper
Administrator
The princess gave her word that she would shoot anyone who followed her.
Lady
She won't shoot her own father.
Administrator
I know people! To be honest, they will not spare their father either.
Innkeeper
I didn't think to unload the students' pistols.
Lady
Let's run there! Let's persuade her!
Minister
Quiet! The emperor returns. He is angry!
Administrator
Will start executing again! And I'm so cold! There is no more harmful court work.
enter the king and the hunter
King (soft and simple)
I am in terrible grief. She sits there by the fire, quiet, miserable. One - do you hear? One! She left home, she left my worries. And if I bring an entire army and put all the royal power into her hands, this will not help her. How is it so? What should I do? I raised her, took care of her, and now suddenly I can’t help her. She is distant lands from me. Fall towards her. Question her. Maybe we can help her after all? Get up!
Administrator
She will shoot, your majesty!
King
so what? You are still condemned to death. My God! Why does everything change so much in your world? Where is my little daughter? A passionate, offended girl sits by the fire. Yes, yes, offended. I see. You never know I insulted them in my lifetime. Ask what he did to her? How should I deal with him? Execute? This I can. Talk to him? I take it! Well! Get up!
Innkeeper
Let me speak to the princess, king.
King
It is forbidden! Let one of your own go to your daughter.
Innkeeper
It is their lovers who seem especially strangers. Everything has changed, but theirs remained the same.
King
I didn't think about it. You are absolutely right. However, I will not cancel my order.
Innkeeper
King
Why, why... Tyrant because. In me, my dear aunt woke up, an incorrigible fool. hat to me!
the minister gives the king a hat
Papers for me.
the innkeeper gives paper to the king
Let's draw lots. So. Yes, it's done. The one who takes out a piece of paper with a cross will go to the princess.
Lady
Let me talk to the princess without any crosses, your majesty. I have something to say to her.
King
I will not let it! I got the reins under my mantle! Am I a king or not a king? Draw, draw! First Minister! You are the first! The minister draws lots, unfolds the paper.
Minister
Alas, my lord!
Administrator
God bless!
Minister
There is no cross on paper!
Administrator
Why did you have to shout “alas”, you idiot!
King
Quiet! Your turn, sir!
Lady
I have to go, my lord.
Administrator
Congratulations from the bottom of my heart! Kingdom of heaven to you!
King
Well, show me the paper, ma'am!
snatches her lot from the hands of a court lady, examines it, shakes her head
You are a liar, ma'am! Here are the stubborn people! So they strive to fool their poor master! Next!
administrator
Draw lots, sir. Where! Where are you going! Open your eyes, dear! Here, here it is, the hat, in front of you.
the administrator draws lots, looks
Administrator
Ha ha ha!
King
What ha ha ha!
Administrator
That is, I wanted to say - alas! Here's my word of honour, I'll fail, I don't see any cross. Ah, ah, ah, what a shame! Next!
King
Give me your lot!
Administrator
Whom?
King
A piece of paper! Alive!
looking at paper
No cross?
Administrator
No!
King
And what's that?
Administrator
What is this cross? It's funny, honestly ... It's more like the letter "x"!
King
No, my dear, this is it! Go!
Administrator
People, people, come to your senses! What are you doing? We dropped our business, forgot our rank and rank, galloped into the mountains along the damn bridges, along the goat paths. What brought us to this?
Lady
Love!
Administrator
Let's be serious, ladies and gentlemen! There is no love in the world!
Innkeeper
Eat!
Administrator
You're ashamed to pretend! You are a commercial person, you have your own business.
Innkeeper
And yet I undertake to prove that Love exists in the world!
Administrator
There is no her! I don't trust people, I know them too well, and I myself have never fallen in love. Therefore, there is no love! Therefore, I am sent to my death because of fiction, prejudice, empty space!
King
Don't delay me, my dear. Don't be selfish.
Administrator
Okay, Your Majesty, I won't, just listen to me. When a smuggler crawls across an abyss on a perch or a merchant sails in a small boat on the Great Ocean - this is respectable, this is understandable. People earn money. And in Name What, excuse me, should I lose my head? What you call love is a little indecent, quite funny and very pleasant. What is it about death?
Lady
Shut up, despicable!
Administrator
Your Majesty, don't tell her to swear! There is nothing, madam, there is nothing to look at me as if you really think what you say. Nothing, nothing! All people are pigs, only some admit it, while others break down. I'm not the contemptible, I'm not the villain, but all these noble sufferers, itinerant preachers, itinerant singers, impoverished musicians, market talkers. I'm all in sight, everyone understands what I want. A little bit of each - and I no longer get angry, I am more cheerful, I calm down, I sit myself and click on the accounts. And these inflaters of feelings, tormentors of human souls - here they are truly villains, murderers not caught. It is they who lie, as if conscience exists in nature, assure that compassion is beautiful, praise fidelity, teach valor and push deceived fools to death! They invented love. There is no her! Believe a solid, wealthy man!
King
Why is the princess suffering?
Administrator
In youth, your majesty!
King
OK. He said the last word of the condemned and that's enough. I still don't care! Go! Not a word! I'll shoot!
administrator walks away staggering
What a devil! And why did I listen to him? He awakened in me an aunt whom anyone could convince of anything. The poor thing was married eighteen times, not counting light hobbies. How is there really no love in the world? Maybe the princess just has a sore throat or bronchitis, and I suffer.
Lady
Your Majesty...
King
Shut up, ma'am! You woman venerable, faithful. Let's ask the youth. Amanda! Do you believe in love?
Amanda
No, your majesty!
King
Here you see! And why?
Amanda
I was in love with one person, and he turned out to be such a monster that I stopped believing in love. I fall in love now with everyone who is not lazy. Doesn't matter!
King
Here you see! What about love, Orinthia?
Orinthia
Anything you want but the truth, your majesty.
King
Why?
Orinthia
To speak the truth about love is so scary and so difficult that I have forgotten how to do it once and for all. I say about love what is expected of me.
King
You tell me only one thing - is there love in the world?
Orinthia
Yes, Your Majesty, if you like. I have fallen in love so many times!
King
Or maybe she doesn't?
Orinthia
There is none, if you like, sir! There is a light, cheerful madness that always ends in trifles.
shot
King
Here's your rubbish!
Hunter
God rest his soul!
Student
Or maybe he ... she ... they - missed?
Hunter
Insolent! My student - and suddenly ...
Student
How long did you study?
Hunter
Who are you talking about! Who are you talking to! Wake up!
King
Hush you! Do not bother me! I rejoice! Ha ha ha! At last, at last, my daughter escaped from that accursed greenhouse in which I, the old fool, raised her. Now she acts like all normal people: she has troubles - and now she shoots at anyone.
sobs
Daughter is growing. Hey, innkeeper! Clean up in the hallway!
enters administrator | in his hands he has a smoking gun
Student
Missed! Ha ha ha!
King
What is it? Why are you alive, dude?
Administrator
Because it was I who shot, sir.
King
You?
Administrator
Yes, just imagine.
King
In whom?
Administrator
To whom, to whom ... To the princess! She's alive, she's alive, don't be scared!
King
Hey there! Block, executioner and a glass of vodka. Vodka for me, the rest for him. Alive!
Administrator
Don't rush, dear!
King
Who are you talking to?
bear enters | stops at the door
Administrator
Dad, I'm telling you. Take your time! The princess is my bride.
court lady
Beat the drums, blow the trumpets, guard, in the gun!
First Minister
Has he lost his mind?
Innkeeper
Oh, if only!
King
Tell me, or I'll kill you!
Administrator
I'll tell you with pleasure. I love talk about things that went well. Yes, you sit down, gentlemen, what is there really, I allow. If you don't want it, whatever you want. Well, that means ... I went, as you insisted, to the girl ... I went, then. Fine. I open the door a little, and I myself think: oh, it will kill ... I want to die, like any of those present. Here you go. And she turned at the creak of the door and jumped up. I gasped, you know. Naturally, he pulled out a pistol from his pocket. And, as any of those present would have done in my place, fired a pistol at the girl. And she didn't notice. She took my hand and said: I thought, thought, sitting here by the fire, and vowed to go out married for the first comer. Haha! You see how lucky I am, how cleverly it turned out that I missed. Hey me!
court lady
Poor child!
Administrator
Do not interrupt! I ask: so I'm yours groom Now? And she replies: what to do if you turned up under the arm. I look - lips tremble, fingers tremble, feelings in the eyes, a vein beats on the neck, this, that, the fifth, the tenth ...
chokes
Oh you, wow!
innkeeper serves vodka to king | the administrator exhausts a glass, drinks in one gulp
Hooray! I hugged her, therefore, kissed her very lips.
Bear
Shut up, I'll kill you!
Administrator
Nothing, nothing. They killed me already today - and what happened? Where did I stop? Oh, yes ... We kissed, so ...
Bear
Shut up!
Administrator
King! Make sure you don't interrupt me! Is it difficult? We kissed, and then she says: go, report everything to dad, and for now I'll change clothes as a girl. And I told her: let me help you fasten this or that, lace it up, tighten it, hehe ... And she, such a coquette, answers me: get out of here! And I told her this: goodbye, your highness, kanatka, hen. Ha ha ha!
King
The devil knows what… Hey, you… Retinue… Look for something in the first-aid kit… I lost consciousness, only feelings remained… Subtle… Barely definable… Whether I want music and flowers, or to kill someone. I feel, I feel vaguely, vaguely - something wrong has happened, but there is nothing to look into the face of reality ...
enters princess | rushes to his father
Princess (desperately)
Dad! Dad!
notices a bear | calmly
Good evening dad. And I'm getting married.
King
For whom, daughter?
Princess (indicates the administrator with a nod of the head)
That's for it. Come here! Give me your hand.
Administrator
With pleasure! Hehe…
Princess
Don't you dare giggle or I'll shoot you!
King
Well done! This is our way!
Princess
I'm having a wedding in an hour.
King
In one hour? Great! A wedding is, in any case, a joyful and cheerful event, but we'll see. Fine! What, in fact ... The daughter was found, everyone is alive, healthy, there is plenty of wine. Unpack your luggage! Dress up for the holidays! Light all the candles! Then we'll figure it out!
Bear
Stop!
King
What's happened? Well well well! Speak now!
Bear (addresses Orinthia and Amanda, who are standing embracing)
I ask for your hand. Be my wife. Look at me - I'm young, healthy, simple. I am a kind person and will never offend you. Be my wife!
Princess
Don't answer him!
Bear
Ah, that's how! You can, but I can't!
Princess
I vowed to marry the first person I met.
Bear
Me too.
Princess
I ... However, that's enough, that's enough, I don't care!
goes to the exit
Ladies! Behind me! You will help me put on my wedding dress.
King
Cavaliers, follow me! Can you help me book my wedding dinner? Innkeeper, this applies to you too.
Innkeeper
Okay, your majesty, go, I'll catch up with you.
court lady, in a whisper
Under any pretext, make the princess come back here to this room.
court lady
By force I will drag, smash me unclean!
everyone leaves, except for the bear and the ladies-in-waiting, who all stand, embracing, against the wall.
Bear (ladies-in-waiting)
Be my wife!
Amanda
Sir, sir! Which one of us are you proposing to?
Orinthia
After all, there are two of us.
Bear
Sorry, I didn't notice.
the innkeeper runs in
Innkeeper
Get back or you'll die! Getting too close to lovers when they are arguing is deadly! Run before it's too late!
Bear
Do not leave!
Innkeeper
Shut up, I'll contact you! Don't you feel sorry for these poor girls?
Bear
I was not spared, and I do not want to feel sorry for anyone!
Innkeeper
Do you hear? Hurry, hurry away!
Orinthia and Amanda leave, looking back
Listen, you! Fool! Come to your senses, I beg you, be kind! A few reasonable kind words - and now you are happy again. Understood? Tell her: listen, princess, so, they say, and so, it’s my fault, forgive me, don’t ruin it, I won’t do it again, I accidentally. And then take it and kiss her.
Bear
Never!
Innkeeper
Don't be stubborn! Kiss, yes only.
Bear
No!
Innkeeper
Don't waste time! There are only forty-five minutes left before the wedding. You barely have time to reconcile. Quicker. Come to your senses! I hear footsteps, this is Emilia leading the princess here. Come on! Head up!
the door swings open, and a court lady in a luxurious outfit enters the room | she is accompanied by footmen with lit candelabra
court lady
I congratulate you, gentlemen, with great joy!
Innkeeper
Do you hear, son?
court lady
The end of all our sorrows and misadventures has come.
Innkeeper
Well done, Emilia!
court lady
According to the order of the princess, her marriage to the Minister, which was to take place in forty-five minutes ...
Innkeeper
Good girl! Oh well?
court lady
Will take place immediately!
Innkeeper
Emilia! Come to your senses! It's a disaster, and you're smiling!
court lady
That's the order. Don't touch me, I'm on duty, I'll be damned!
beaming
Please, Your Majesty, everything is ready.
innkeeper
Well, what could I do! She is stubborn, as, as ... as we used to be!
enters king in ermine mantle and crown | he leads the princess in her wedding dress by the hand | followed by the Minister-Administrator | diamond rings sparkle on all his fingers | follow him -
courtiers in festive attire
King
Well. Let's get married now.
looks at the bear with hope
Honestly, I'll start now. No kidding. Once! Two! Three!
sighs
I'm starting!
solemnly
As an honorary saint, honorary great martyr, honorary pope of our kingdom, I proceed to perform the sacrament of marriage. Bride and groom! Give each other hands!
Bear
No!
King
What is not? Come on, come on! Speak up, don't be shy!
Bear
Get out of here everyone! I need to talk to her! Go away!
Administrator (coming forward)
Oh, you're cheeky!
the bear pushes him away with such force that the minister-administrator flies through the door
court lady
Hooray! Excuse me your majesty...
King
Please! I'm glad myself. Father anyway.
Bear
Leave, I beg you! Leave us alone!
Innkeeper
Your majesty, your majesty! Let's go! Uncomfortable...
King
Well, here's more! I also want to know how their conversation will end!
court lady
Sovereign!
King
Leave me alone! But anyway, okay. I can eavesdrop at the keyhole.
running on tiptoe
Come, come, gentlemen! Uncomfortable!
everyone runs after him except the princess and the bear
Bear
Princess, now I confess everything. Unfortunately we met, unfortunately we fell in love. I... I... If you kiss me, I will turn into a bear.
princess covering her face with her hands
I'm not happy myself! It's not me, it's a magician ... He would be all naughty, and we, the poor, are so confused. That's why I ran. After all, I swore that I would rather die than offend you. Sorry! It's not me! It's him... sorry!
Princess
You, you - and suddenly turn into a bear?
Bear
Yes.
Princess
As soon as I kiss you?
Bear
Yes.
Princess
You, you will silently wander back and forth through the rooms, as if in a cage? Will you ever talk to me like a human being? And if I really annoy you with my conversations, will you growl at me like a beast? Will all the crazy joys and sorrows of the last days really end so sadly?
Bear
Yes.
Princess
Dad! Dad!
the king rushes in, accompanied by all his retinue
Dad is he...
King
Yes, yes, I overheard. What a pity!
Princess
Let's go, let's go soon!
King
Daughter, daughter ... Something terrible is happening to me ... Something good - such fear! - something good woke up in my soul. Let's think - maybe we shouldn't drive him away. A? Others live - and nothing! Just think - a bear ... Not a ferret after all ... We would comb it, tame it. He would sometimes dance for us ...
Princess
No! I love him too much for that.
the bear takes a step forward and stops with its head down
Farewell, farewell forever!
runs away | everything except the bear follows her | music suddenly starts playing | windows swing open by themselves | the sun rises | there is no snow at all | grass grows on mountain slopes, flowers sway | the owner breaks in with laughter | behind him, smiling, the hostess hurries | she glances at the Bear and immediately stops smiling
Master (yells)
Congratulations! Congratulations! May you live happily ever after!
hostess
Shut up you fool...
Master
Why - fool?
hostess
You don't scream. This is not a wedding, but grief ...
Master
What? How? Can't be! I brought them to this cozy hotel and filled up all the entrances and exits with snowdrifts. I rejoiced at my invention, so rejoiced that the eternal snow melted and the mountain slopes turned green under the sun. You didn't kiss her?
Bear
But…
Master
Coward!
sad music | on green grass, snow falls on flowers | lowering her head, not looking at anyone, the princess passes through the room arm in arm with the king | behind them the whole retinue | all this procession passes outside the windows under the falling snow | innkeeper runs out with a suitcase | he shakes a bunch of keys
Innkeeper
Gentlemen, gentlemen, the hotel is closing. I'm leaving, gentlemen!
Master
OK! Give me the keys, I'll lock everything myself.
Innkeeper
Well, thank you! Hurry up the hunter. He puts his diplomas there.
Master
OK.
Innkeeper (Bear)
Listen, poor boy...
Master
Go, I'll talk to him myself. Hurry, you'll be late, you'll fall behind!
Innkeeper
God deliver!
runs away
Master
You! Keep answer! How dare you not kiss her?
Bear
But you know how it would end!
Master
No, I do not know! You didn't love the girl!
Bear
Not true!
Master
Did not love, otherwise the magical power of recklessness would have seized you. Who dares to reason or predict when high feelings take over a person? Beggars, unarmed people throw kings off the throne out of love for their neighbor. Out of love for the motherland, the soldiers prop up death with their feet, and it runs without looking back. Wise men ascend to heaven and dive into hell itself - out of love for the truth. The earth is being rebuilt out of love for beauty. What did you do out of love for a girl?
Bear
I gave it up.
Master
Magnificent act. And you know that only once in a life falls in love a day when they succeed. And you missed your happiness. Goodbye. I won't help you anymore. No! I'll start bothering you with all my might. What did I bring ... I, a merry fellow and a naughty one, spoke because of you like a preacher. Come, wife, close the shutters.
hostess
Let's go fool...
clatter of closed shutters | enter hunter and his apprentice | they have huge folders in their hands
Bear
Want to kill the 100th bear?
Hunter
Bear? hundredth?
Bear
Yes Yes! Sooner or later - I will find the princess, kiss her and turn into a bear ... And then
Hunter
Understand! New. It's tempting. But it’s really embarrassing for me to take advantage of your courtesy ...
Bear
Nothing, don't be shy.
Hunter
And how will Her Royal Highness look at this?
Bear
Will be happy!
Hunter
Well... Art requires sacrifice.
Bear
Thank you friend! Let's go!
a curtain
