Who are the led and leading men?
Leading and led man
What is driven, what is the leading man are first and foremost people who deserve respect and recognition from women.
If a good half of the men in our time have become the followers, and the other smaller part of the men still remain independent bachelors, then here you should not blame only the followers and leading men themselves. The character of any person is formed even in early childhood, it depends not only on upbringing or its absence, but on the environment and the mother's attitude to the child. If you don’t want a man to grow up in you who will not be able to make decisions on his own, or, on the contrary, he will be able to, and he will like this absolute independence, so that he will take all the furrows of government into his own hands. The first one will be completely dependent on the opinions of both those around him, and even more so on the female one, the second - the leader, may not marry for a long time, live a bachelor life and exactly the way he wants. Do not reproach the first on any occasion and without, while the second should not be given complete freedom of action.
Leading and driven man - 50% / 50%, this is the man who will simultaneously solve both the daily tasks of the family and resolve critical or key cases, while listening to his wife and respecting her choice.
To begin with, it is worth deciding on the meaning of the combination slave man. As a rule, the follower is the one who consciously or unconsciously allows himself to be controlled, manipulated. From recent times men began to unknowingly obey women who shouldered the management on their fragile shoulders children And home and relationships in general.
Voting right
The representatives of the weaker sex will rather feel uncomfortable if there is no manipulation of men at all in their behavior. And, what is most interesting, it is the latter who will be upset about this. Despite the fact that few were initially given the art of manipulation, the beautiful half confidently believes that they have all the necessary skills and knowledge to tame the "obstinate".
Female exposure
Some women will have a question about how to make a man a follower for sure. The first and basic rule is as follows: in the process of manipulation, a man should not be aware that he is under the influence of a woman and fulfills the conditions dictated by her. Everything must be carefully thought out by her, then the implementation of the plan will turn into an exciting adventure for both.
There are simple and undeniable truths that are directly related to men. They must be firmly remembered, because it is they who will help you achieve your goals through communication with the stronger sex.
So, the first truth says that all men, both the follower and the leader, do not want to see next to them another likeness of a man. They want to see a woman in a woman. It doesn’t matter what social status you both have, whether he is the boss, and you are just a subordinate, or a work colleague, he still sees a woman in you. Therefore, if a dispute suddenly started, do not try to vehemently convince the man that you are right. Remember that you are a woman. If this awareness has come to you, you can safely use this trump card in your favor.
Appearance
Before talking with the interlocutor, think carefully. This applies not only to words and topics for conversation, but also to clothing. The main thing is not to overdo it with excessive frankness. There is one golden rule that should be followed - a hint of nudity looks much sexier than herself. Men like to fantasize and "finish" the image themselves, so the demonstration of charms is not so advantageous. Do not forget also about well-chosen perfume and makeup, so that the interlocutor does not suffocate from the excessiveness or harshness of the smell and does not focus on the "fighting coloring". If you have already set a goal to make a man a follower, you definitely shouldn’t upset him with unnecessary trifles.
The affectionate cat method
Behavior during the meeting also plays a significant role. Not only the appearance will have a man to himself, since they only meet by clothes. Equal status will allow you to use the so-called tactile impact method. Touches should also not be too frank, stroking the shoulder or arm usually evokes pleasant emotions. Another thing is, if a person is higher than you in position, this method will be perceived by him rather as disrespect.
From this follows the second truth - keep your distance from men and do not encroach on their freedom.
Words and intonation
Surely many are familiar with the phrase: "listen to a woman and do the opposite." This is what a good part of men are guided by. When lovely ladies try to help, give out advice, their gentlemen perceive this as an attempt to turn them into followers, an encroachment on their personal freedom. Do not be surprised if they do you out of spite, so they want to demonstrate their independence and the right to choose. As a rule, all this ends either in quarrels and misunderstandings, or a woman turns everything in her favor through covert manipulation. This is where the unconscious driven state of the stronger sex begins. The technique of hidden control of a man includes the absence of orders in the imperative mood, replacing them with soft requests. In addition, this is the provision of a choice in the form of hints, so that the man allegedly himself came to a decision.
Finally, in order not to be led yourself, be able to resist male manipulation, while trying to avoid quarrels and harsh phrases. Seeing that it is impossible to piss you off so easily, it will be difficult to manipulate you and then the decisive step will be yours.
Leading man
The head of the family, an economic and responsible man, a real earner, has the right to the role of dominant in the family. Undoubtedly, a person with such qualities is an example to follow for his own children, especially his son.
And who is leading man? What features should it have? After all, is it true that any woman wants her husband to be a real family man? It's the real one. He must have a firm life position, certain principles. The leading man morally, as well as physically, will be stronger than the woman. This is a reliable person, with strong motivation, always ready to help, protect his family from troubles. A woman will want to go through life for such a man who keeps his promises. Of course, in the family there should be care from the stronger sex. A generous successful man is a winner who can lead anyone. The strong qualities of a leading person are also the following: intelligence, sense of humor, generosity, beauty (grooming, accuracy).
A strong man has his own opinion, and if he is the true head of the family, he has a right to it.
His opinion will never change under the influence of others. If a woman ever hears from him a phrase like “I can’t change it, I can’t influence him,” a man can safely go home. With such a lady, you will not want to linger for a long time. A real man makes decisions confidently, is able to take full responsibility. With his woman, he is frank and direct, does not give in to her whims and provocations. The leading man, having set a task for himself, will fulfill it under any conditions. To become such a person, you first need to understand yourself. Success lies in becoming interesting and attractive. The components of a successful person are appearance, external manifestations of character and mood.
Perfect family man
Clear life goals and independence distinguish the leading person from the follower. To be a leader is to be active and decisive. These are the hallmarks of a true leader. Such a person is not too conservative, ready to take risks, quickly adapts to everything, is better adapted to the prevailing circumstances. Dependence on others does not prevent him from acting, he does not need anyone's approval. He takes full responsibility for his own steps.
Be a wise woman who is sure to be loved by a leading man...
Today, many people strive for self-reliance and independence. Against the background of this trend, a logical question arises: "What is a guided person?" Not every strong personality can boast that he always and independently makes decisions in everything, not everyone has the inner courage to do what he really wants, to say what he thinks. People, whether they like it or not, are subject to the laws of society and the norms and rules adopted in it. So what is a driven person? Let's try to figure it out.
The essence of the concept
Most do not want to be called submissive and weak-willed. After all, this recognition is tantamount to signing your own weakness. A guided person is, first of all, one who allows another, stronger one, to lead him. In fact, there is nothing wrong with this concept or anything to be ashamed of. Not everyone is given to be leaders, not everyone wants to take on such a big responsibility. It is important to understand: if you are not a leader by nature, but a subordinate, you need to choose a really wise and self-sufficient person as your mentors, under whose guidance your own essence would be revealed in all its fullness and diversity.
A guided person is an excellent "plasticine" for working out important social tasks. Such people perfectly adapt in society, accept the existing rules, laws and orders and never oppose all these attitudes. It’s just that they are comfortable being a little in the shadows, showing their skills and abilities under the guidance of more courageous and self-confident figures.
Failure to have an opinion
From childhood, such people get used to being no different from others and not to show themselves too brightly so as not to contradict the opinion of the majority. These individuals cannot lead others, but they perfectly follow the leader who is most sympathetic to them. Here it is important not to go down the wrong path, not to be deceived yourself, not to become dependent on other people's beliefs.
The inability to have one's own opinion is expressed in the way a guided person behaves, who is weighed down by any experiences. He is unlikely to be able to achieve his goal when it is not consistent with social norms. Most likely, he will silently hope and wait for the situation to improve by itself, rather than take active steps. One cannot blame a person only for the fact that such is his individual essence. It is much more important to learn to live in harmony with your inner nature and aspirations.
susceptibility to manipulation
Unfortunately, it is the driven people who often succumb to various outside influences. This happens for the reason that their mind is too open and unprotected before any influences. A guided person is one who rarely analyzes, tries on certain conditions of reality and the actions of other people.
He is ready to step over himself and submit to the opinion of the majority, even without a fight to give up his own positions and abandon his plans. Exposure to manipulation makes this person weak and weak-willed, it is usually easy to control. Sometimes such people do not even realize that they are not living their own life, losing themselves as an individual, playing social roles that have actually bored them for a long time.
Unwillingness to take responsibility
In everything to which our independent efforts are directed, we must bear individual responsibility. This applies to both work and internal regulations. The important decisions we make in life always, in all cases, have consequences. So, a driven person is a person who is afraid to look into the future and make grandiose plans. She is so unsure of the possibilities that she does not even try to establish her own rules, does not dare to live contrary to social guidelines.
In the event of serious conflict situations, such a person often hides, does not express his opinion, because he is afraid of being misunderstood, ridiculed. He will not reveal his point of view just to be heard. Much more important for him is peace of mind and well-being, not affected by any shocks. He understands responsibility in being as useful to other people as possible and often serves some abstract ideal.
Instead of a conclusion
Man is so arranged that he avoids big risks. That's what a lot of people do. Only a few, capable of leading entire cities, can actually confidently step into the future without fear of losing status or social position. Leaders never give up on themselves, and led personalities are ready to bend under certain limits, even if they feel in them how painful and cramped they are to remain in such an uncomfortable position. A submissive person, one way or another, suffers inconvenience, and his essence suffers.
And led. in meaning "famous, familiar" follower. only he knows the forest paths. in meaning "the one that follows the leader" the follower. driven aircraft. driven wheel... Dictionary of pronunciation and stress difficulties in modern Russian
Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov
1. LEAD, driven, driven; known, known, known (obsolete). Known, familiar (now used only with negation, see unknown). This is a matter known to all. 2. LEAD, driven, driven; led, led, known (book obsolete). 1. incl. suffering nast… Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov
I led by m. The one who follows the leader [leader I 1.]. II slave adj. Next to the leader [leader II 1.] (usually about an airplane). III in edoma adj. Known, familiar... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language Efremova
I led by m. The one who follows the leader [leader I 1.]. II slave adj. Next to the leader [leader II 1.] (usually about an airplane). III in edoma adj. Known, familiar... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language Efremova
LEAD, oh, oh; ohm (obsolete). Known (in 1 and 2 meanings), familiar. Everyone knows (in the meaning of a tale). The hero knows no fear (high). II. LEAD, oh, oh (special). One that goes under the command of the leader (in 2 values). V. plane. Ordered to the slave ... ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov
slave- managed executive subordinate - [L.G. Sumenko. English Russian Dictionary of Information Technologies. M .: GP TsNIIS, 2003.] Topics information technology in general Synonyms controlled executive slave EN slave ... Technical Translator's Handbook
1) driven oh, oh; house, oh 1. outdated. Famous. [Basmanov:] He lies in front of the cathedral. Shamelessly lying! He is a master liar! A. Ostrovsky, Dmitry Pretender and Vasily Shuisky. | in meaning say, to whom. Everyone knows that I have never offended anyone in my life ... Small Academic Dictionary
Books
- , D. G. Anuchin. The book is a reprint edition of 1912 (publishing house `printing house` Electro-type. N. Ya. Stoikovoy ``). Despite the fact that serious work has been done to restore ...
- Berlin Congress of 1878. Diary kept on the spot by Dmitry Gavrilovich Anuchin, D. G. Anuchin. This book will be produced in accordance with your order using Print-on-Demand technology. The book is a reprint edition of 1912 (publishing house "typography" Electro-type. N. Ya. ...
And led. in meaning "famous, familiar" follower. only he knows the forest paths. in meaning "the one that follows the leader" the follower. driven aircraft. driven wheel... Dictionary of pronunciation and stress difficulties in modern Russian
Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov
1. LEAD, driven, driven; known, known, known (obsolete). Known, familiar (now used only with negation, see unknown). This is a matter known to all. 2. LEAD, driven, driven; led, led, known (book obsolete). 1. incl. suffering nast… Explanatory Dictionary of Ushakov
I led by m. The one who follows the leader [leader I 1.]. II slave adj. Next to the leader [leader II 1.] (usually about an airplane). III in edoma adj. Known, familiar... Modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language Efremova
Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov
LEAD, oh, oh; ohm (obsolete). Known (in 1 and 2 meanings), familiar. Everyone knows (in the meaning of a tale). The hero knows no fear (high). II. LEAD, oh, oh (special). One that goes under the command of the leader (in 2 values). V. plane. Ordered to the slave ... ... Explanatory dictionary of Ozhegov
slave- managed executive subordinate - [L.G. Sumenko. English Russian Dictionary of Information Technologies. M .: GP TsNIIS, 2003.] Topics information technology in general Synonyms controlled executive slave EN slave ... Technical Translator's Handbook
1) driven oh, oh; house, oh 1. outdated. Famous. [Basmanov:] He lies in front of the cathedral. Shamelessly lying! He is a master liar! A. Ostrovsky, Dmitry Pretender and Vasily Shuisky. | in meaning say, to whom. Everyone knows that I have never offended anyone in my life ... Small Academic Dictionary
Books
- , D. G. Anuchin. The book is a reprint edition of 1912 (publishing house `printing house` Electro-type. N. Ya. Stoikovoy ``). Despite the fact that serious work has been done to restore ...
- Berlin Congress of 1878. Diary kept on the spot by Dmitry Gavrilovich Anuchin, D. G. Anuchin. This book will be produced in accordance with your order using Print-on-Demand technology. The book is a reprint edition of 1912 (publishing house "typography" Electro-type. N. Ya. ...
Chapter 28
Relationships are built by the leader
Leader in relationships- this is the one who builds them for himself, leads and directs them. In other words, the leader is the captain, the boss.
The captain picks up his team. The boss hires a valuable specialist. And it is the boss and captain who set the rules that a potential wingman either wants to accept and join the team, or does not want to.
Slave- one who tends to adapt to a partner. The one who accepts the rules set by the captain.
Who is leading on that and responsible for a specific relationship. And if you want to build a truly harmonious, pleasant relationship for both, then you need to understand what kind of relationship you occupy in them.
One should never forget such a simple, and at the same time complex, thing that a woman always wants to be a woman and realize herself as a woman. And a man always wants to be a man, and to be realized as a man. At least on a subconscious level.
Therefore, considering in a relationship, if a woman is the leader, then most likely, sooner or later she will disappear. Therefore, we will proceed from the fact that in order to build a HARMONIOUS relationship, a man should be the leader by default.
It is the man who should build relationships. This is his direct duty and task. With him and demand.
How does a leader and a follower appear in a relationship
Every person has a set of beliefs and values.
In simple terms person's beliefs are logical opinions. That is, when a person “thinks” something at the level of “correct / incorrect”.
A values in life of a person - this is on an emotional level - when you like something. Or don't like it.
As a result, each person gets a kind of metaphorical bag full of beliefs and values.
Beliefs and values ("U" and "C") are
very important (critical) and unimportant. We will conditionally designate them as "U" and "C" from the category "CRIT" - critical, and from the category "POX" - not particularly important.
1. "POX"- These are "U" and "C", which are conditionally not important. Every person has things that he, in principle, almost does not care about. That is not essential.
2. "CRETE"- These are hard positives (something must be so), or negative (something must be wrong). And nothing else.
People live, people act based on their beliefs and values. And when a couple is created, these beliefs and values begin to intersect. And in the process of creating a pair - to be revealed.
Intersection options "U" and "C":
1. Matching "U" and "C". If "U" and "C" are the same, then you don't need to do anything special. You, by your natural behavior, do what the other needs.
2. The intersection of "U" and "C" at the level of "POX" - "POX". When both of them don't care. It is at this point that such a concept as a leader and a follower in a relationship appears.
Therefore, if you encounter FOH on FOX, then if you are the leader, then you need to organize so that you act from your "U" and "C". Theoretically, you can adjust to your partner, but this is a conscious occupation of the position of a follower. Then gradually you will build the kind of relationship that your partner wants, not you.
3. Crossing "CRETE" to "POH". Here, the one for whom this is a critical value should win. It does not matter who is the leader and who is the follower. The leader's task is to yield where his partner has "CRIT", and he himself has "POX".
4. Collision "U" and "C" level "CRIT" - "CRIT". That is a clash of mega-important beliefs and values.
If it goes on the level of trifles, then the leader must change the perception of his partner to one that is critical for the leader. Let's just say, on trifles, theoretically, you can squeeze strength. This is a bad option, but it is still possible.
If we are not talking about quite trifles, then here 2 options:
a) Or you can change the "U" and "C" of the slave.
b) Or after some time there is a high risk of parting.
That is, if you hit the values of the “CRIT” - “CRIT” level, which are basic and change very rapidly and over a long period of time, then such relationships, most likely, will not be possible to make. Because even if one of the partners sags for a while, this value will still hang. Anyway, every moment when it will arise will be unpleasant.
And sooner or later, such a couple will simply be pulled away. Because there is one feature: if some value is not satisfied for a long time, it becomes more and more important.
Theoretically, you can try to build your life in such a way that you don’t get stuck together in situations where such “C”s crawl out. But it is difficult.
Important!
The leader should have quite a few "U" and "C" of the "POX" level. If he “FSUs” for everything, then the partner may get the impression that the leading “FSUs” for the partner. In addition, the one to whom everything is important, who has more critical "C", will automatically become the leader, and build relationships for himself.
Clarification: the leader is not the one who “kicks” the partner into the position that he likes. The leader is the one who works hard and hard so that the relationship is in a convenient format for HIM.
The role of the leader comes out only in two moments - what to do with equal values: "POX" to "POX", or "CRIT" to "CRIT". Because when they match, everything is perfect. When one “FSU” and the other “CRIT”, it is also clear here - who cares about that and we do it.
Gradually, this model in a pair comes to a certain balance. The couple begins to live most of the time in joint values.
How to be a leader
Being a leader does not mean that in 100% of cases you do what you want.
If there are, for example, 20 options for “POX” on “POX”, then at 15-18 we do as the leader wants, in the rest - as the follower wants. If you, nasty business, got 4 "CRIT" on "CRIT", then you lost one "CRIT", and wrung out 3.
Enough 70-80%. You don't have to be 100% leader. It is harmful. You don't have to worry about every moment. Generally speaking, you don't have to worry too much about relationships. Try to make it so that it was a search for some compromises. Just be aware that when both are "POX", then the host decides. That is a man.
For the host, a normal compromise is a 3:1 win. For a follower, a normal trade-off is a 1:3 win.
Accordingly, for partnerships (when there is no explicit separation), this score is conditionally 2:2. Such couples are quite rare. Usually this is when there are many coinciding values. Because when everything is the same, it is impossible to understand who is the leader and who is the follower.
That is, people approached each other so much from the point of view of coincidence that everything coincided, partners turned out. It happens on the contrary, they are well suited in terms of additions. Well, it’s a sin not to take half from a partner if the partner is clearly to the right in 50% of cases.
The host should love YOURSELF a little more than a partner.
You always prioritize your desires, making sure you don't trample on your partner's critical values and making sure your partner is comfortable too. If there is a real opportunity, then you push your own.
If you love your partner more than yourself, you will have a sincere desire, with any options for equality of values, to act as your partner wants. Therefore, if someone loves a partner more than himself, then this “someone” will be a follower. Exceptions are powerful willpower, self-organization and tracking technical moments.
There is one more thing -
The leader internally morally must be ready to leave.
What is meant? - Option, " fuck you, I'll leave any moment' is a bad option. This undermines both trust and attraction. In short, heresy.
The closest analogy that can explain this is the samurai with their hara-kiri. That is, the samurai does not want to do hara-kiri. He's not an idiot. He wants to live happily ever after. But! If a situation arises that, according to the laws of honor, he must do hara-kiri, then he will do it. He won't like it. Nobody likes to do hara-kiri. And he even dies after that. But we have to.
Here is the position of the leader, it is the same. He is ready to leave in certain situations. Certain situations are those when there were tough confrontations at the level of "CRIT" - "CRIT".
If the values of "CRIT" and "CRIT" intersect, it is very important for both of them. And there the one who is ready to make hara-kiri will win. If you are ready to leave, then you will fight to the last. And you can either convince, or smash, or push through.
Or in the worst case, hara-kiri will have to be done by the host. That is, to announce that the relationship is over - we scatter. Because if you are a leader, then in addition to pleasant things, there are also unpleasant ones.
That is, the leader is ready to go to the end. So that where it is important for him it would be "according to him."
The follower is not ready to go to the end. The follower usually loves his partner more and because of this is not ready to leave. And it does not matter who is leading here - a boy or a girl. In this aspect, they are exactly the same.
Mistakes
Do not step on the throat of your critical values during the period of falling in love. It is important to regard the relationship as infinitely long initially. And do what and HOW you can do indefinitely.
Because if you do something that is uncomfortable during the period of falling in love, then you won’t be able to do it all your life. There will be a recession. And the partner will think that love has passed. After all, the partner does not think that these are the critical values \u200b\u200bof a person that were squeezed during the period of falling in love. He thinks love is gone.
Therefore, INITIALLY do only what you will be comfortable doing all your life. Initially, consider the relationship as a long-term perspective. Then you will immediately have the right values, you will immediately have the right attitude and the right actions. And if you agree somewhere, then you understand - okay, this agreement suits me for life.
