Who wrote left-handed shod a flea. Shod flea - Russian miracle

Of all natural and artificial materials from childhood, I fell in love with metals and metal products. Working as a locksmith, and then as a turner at industrial enterprises, he learned all the secrets of metalworking. By some inner instinct, he immediately unmistakably selected the mode of cutting metals by eye.

Nikolay considers the existing "metal technology" to be imperfect. A few years ago, he got the idea to shoe a flea. I wanted to prove that it was not in vain that N. Leskov sang and glorified the Tula Masters to the whole world. I prepared for two years, and then sat down at the microscope. Three months later, when I finished the work, I realized that I had “found myself” in a microminiature. He quit his job and decided to take seriously this very difficult and interesting craft. He believes that a person's achievement of goals in life depends on desire: the higher the goal, the greater the desire should be.

Camel caravan. In the eye of a needle. Height 0.25-0.20 mm. Gold 999.9 tests.

AKM-47 assault rifle. Located across the match. Length - 1.625 mm. Consists of 34 parts. Material - gold 585 and 999.9 samples. Production time - 6 months.

Tank T34/85. It is located on a longitudinal section of apple grain. Case length - 2 mm. Number of parts - 257. Material - 999.9 gold.

Tula samovar. On the needle. Nearby is a grain of sugar. Height - 1.2 mm. Made from 12 parts.

Shod flea. With saddle and stirrups.

Bike. Located on a sewing needle. Length - 2 mm.

Ostankino Tower. Located on apple grain. Height - 6.3 mm. Material - 999.9 gold.

Russian ruble. Diameter - 0.88 mm. Material - 999.9 gold.

A.S. Pushkin. Portrait on a grain of rice.

L.N. Tolstoy, also on rice grain

N.V. Gogol in the same place

(The tale of the Tula oblique left-hander and the steel flea)

Chapter first

When Emperor Alexander Pavlovich graduated from the Vienna Council, he wanted to travel around Europe and see miracles in different states. He traveled all over the countries and everywhere, through his affectionateness, he always had the most internecine conversations with all sorts of people, and everyone surprised him with something and wanted to bend to their side, but with him was the Don Cossack Platov, who did not like this inclination and, missing his own housekeeping, all the sovereign beckoned home. And as soon as Platov notices that the sovereign is very interested in something foreign, then all the escorts are silent, and Platov will now say: so and so, and we have our own at home just as well, and he will take something away. The British knew this, and before the sovereign's arrival, they invented various tricks to captivate him with his foreignness and distract him from the Russians, and in many cases they achieved this, especially in large meetings where Platov could not speak French completely; but he was little interested in this, because he was a married man and considered all French conversations to be trifles that are not worth imagining. And when the British began to call the sovereign to all their zeihaus, weapons and soap and saw factories, in order to show their superiority over us in all things and be famous for that, Platov said to himself: - Well, here's the coven. So far, I have endured, but no longer. Whether I can speak or not, I won't betray my people. And as soon as he said such a word to himself, the sovereign said to him: - So and so, tomorrow you and I are going to see their weapons cabinet of curiosities. There,” he says, “there are such natures of perfection that, as soon as you look, you will no longer argue that we Russians are worthless with our significance. Platov did not answer the sovereign, he only dipped his rough nose into a shaggy cloak, but came to his apartment, ordered the batman to bring a flask of Caucasian sour vodka from the cellar, rattled a good glass, prayed to God on the road fold, covered himself with a cloak and snored so that in the whole house, the British, no one was allowed to sleep. I thought: the morning is wiser than the night.

Lefty is a Russian miracle, a great master, the hero of the eponymous story by the 19th century writer Nikolai Leskov. This plot was used in many works of art: by artists, composers, and other writers. At the end of the 20th century, the composer Rodion Shchedrin's opera "Flea" based on the same plot was staged at the Mariinsky Theater.

Fiction and truth

Leskov's story, published in 1881, has the full title "The Tale of the Tula Oblique Lefty and the Steel Flea." The main event of the story is the Tula craftsman, nicknamed Lefty, shoeing a toy flea made by English craftsmen. England sends a "robot" as a gift to the Russian Tsar, a tiny metal flea that can dance when wound up. And Lefty makes the work even smaller, shoeing this very flea. Now the flea no longer dances... but the superiority of Russian miniature masters over foreign ones has been proven.

In reality, such a historical fact as the gift of a toy by England and its shoeing did not exist, more precisely, it was not documented. However, over the course of centuries, master imitators of the literary hero did indeed appear in Russia.

Lefty prototype - Tula master

It is interesting, however, that there was a Russian master gunsmith from Tula named Surnin. He traveled to England "for training" like Lefty, but like the hero, he quickly showed his own skills. Surnin was taken as an assistant to the owner of the plant, Henry Knock. Surnin was in England a hundred years before the creation of "Lefty", what many forest experts consider to be his prototype of Lefty. Fortunately, although the fate of Surnin was happier than the fate of Lefty. A. M. Surnin returned to his native Tula, had a high position at the local arms factory and died in 1811 in honor and respect, having done a lot of good for the Russian arms industry, and introducing a number of English developments that played a big role in Russia's victory in World War II 1812.

Nikolai Aldunin is a modern Russian Lefty

However, only in the 20th century did a person appear who really managed to shoe a flea. This is our contemporary Nikolai Sergeevich Aldunin, who died in 2009 and managed to create a whole museum "Russian Lefty". He shoed a real euthanized flea, cutting off its claws on tiny paws (after all, a flea is very uncomfortable and, so to speak, is not intended for shoeing). The horseshoes were gold, the nails on the horseshoes too, but it was all microscopic! From a gram of gold, you can make 20 million of these horseshoes, the master once shared in an interview.

Museum of microminiatures

Aldunin also created many more miniatures. Today he has followers. Of course, he worked, in contrast to the literary character, and using a microscope (Leskovsky Lefty said that he had "a shot eye"). But how great is the diverse heritage of the master! This is a T-34 tank on an apple family, and a caravan of camels in the eye of a needle, and a rose in the hair ... All of them are exhibited in the mobile museum of microminiatures "Russian Lefty".
Aldunin's followers are miniaturists A. Rykovanov (Petersburg), A. Konenko (Kazan), Vl. Aniskin (Omsk). Their works have traveled half the world, won international competitions.
Today, shod fleas are in the collection of the President of Russia, and in a number of museums around the world, and in the main museum of Tula - the "Old Tula Pharmacy".

Who is the master

Today, needlework, master classes, creativity training are very common. The ability to do something with your own hands is one of the ways to yourself! Also, a series of trainings will help you to know yourself faster. It is recommended to do them once a week.

It can be assumed that creativity, even at the simplest level, contributes to self-knowledge. But also at the professional level, the one who, knowing himself and loving his work, develops in it, becomes a master.

First exercise: "Your bag"

• Take a sheet, a pencil and whatever bag you have. Lay out its contents on the table.
• Now select three things that can reveal you as a person: those that reflect your character, human qualities - and state in writing what these things say about you (if something is missing, take another thing from the office, from the apartment ). Now read the text and think about what you just learned and what you knew before. Try to complete the exercise in 15 minutes, and then reflect on it later, throughout the day.

Second exercise: "Fictional hero"

This is also a small fifteen-minute exercise.

• Come up with or remember a movie hero, book, cartoon character that will look like you today.
• Now write what you have in common with this hero. These are character traits, appearance, life situations, and maybe a profession, personal life, family. Complete them with differences.
• Would you like to meet such a hero in reality - and why? Write it down.
• Now imagine a character you would like to imitate. Also write down the similarities and differences.
• Now think about how you can use the features of your sample? Can you get close to them by changing yourself for the better?

Third exercise: "Your feelings"

• Remain in silence and solitude. Listen to yourself and try to write down your feelings.
• Try to describe your emotional state in three sentences. Three more are physical sensations, perhaps tension, pain, or fatigue. Could it be related to your feelings? Or psychological state?
• Do you want to get started now? Do something, like hug or hit someone?
• Your task during the implementation of this technique will be to learn how to describe in detail the state at the emotional, psychological and physical levels - that is, at the level of body, soul and spirit.

So you can better deal with your feelings, be able to express yourself, develop creative thinking.
Often people realize in the course of such trainings that they are afraid of death, tense in the face of anxiety, unable to find their bearings.

How to find your profession by becoming a master of your craft

Work takes up about a third of our lives and, accordingly, plays a large role in it. It does not matter for what and where you work - only for the sake of money, for self-realization or experience. Getting a job that you would like and at the same time bring income is real happiness. And this is where God's help is needed.

Saint Nicholas the Wonderworker is perhaps the most revered saint in the entire Orthodox world. Being illiterate, many peasants even called him as part of the Holy Trinity. In his life, the saint was a true father to all the inhabitants of the city of Myra Lycian, of which he was archbishop. Both during his life and after his death, he became famous for many wondrous deeds, showing the power of God's grace: through his prayers, the sick were healed, justice was restored, the poor righteous received a reward - wealth.

They pray to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker about all the difficulties associated with work:

• in employment, search for vacancies,
• before the interview
• before important matters and decision-making,
• with difficulties at work,
• about risk management,
• about business development,
• on timely salary
• if it is necessary to make a decision on dismissal or further labor activity in the company.

It is difficult to believe in the power of prayer, but many people from all over the world testify to the signs of God at the request of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker: people facing a serious choice make it right; those who want to change jobs and professions wonderfully connect it with the Church and find the happiness of their favorite work among good people.

Prayer to Saint Nicholas, who during his lifetime performed miracles of saving slandered and ruined people, is an important means of support, including psychological support. You can pray not only for finding a job that will give you material security, but also for finding your professional path.

Prayer for job search

A strong prayer for the work of the Matrona of Moscow can be read in all the difficulties associated with professional activities:

• difficulties in finding a job
• quarrels and problems in the team,
• inability to cope with work
• pressure from superiors or colleagues,
• intrigues and threatening dismissal,
• problems with the payment of salaries or low wages for your work.

Prayers for well-being in work and money are read only about honest deeds. It's not that unrighteous earnings - fraud, debauchery, casino activities, and so on - cannot be prayed for. It’s just that these deeds are sinful, in principle, it’s not worth doing them: do not multiply evil on earth, do not prepare yourself for punishment by misfortune. The Lord will bless you for good, for sure you have a talent that you can earn in a good job. Pray and ask God and the holy Matronushka to point it out to you.

Prayer to the Matrona of Moscow - an appeal for help to her, as if she were alive. After all, the saints are our intercessors before God. Each person needs the support of loved ones, but it is known that in a state of stress, people with their irritability create conflicts in the family. It's time to turn for help to the Heavenly Family - to God Almighty, the good Father to all of us, the Mother of God, who adopted the human race, and our spiritual brothers and sisters - the saints.

May God keep you!

I have no doubt that many have read the story of the remarkable Russian writer Nikolai Semyonovich Leskov "Lefty". Even more of those who have heard about this story, i.e., without reading the story, know the essence: “Is this about the fact that a flea was shod? How have you heard…” But it seems that the largest number of those who know the expression "shoe a flea", which means very fine workmanship, but do not know where such an expression comes from. Now - attention! - a question to all who read and did not read the story "Lefty": what was the name of the left-hander? Dude, don't look at the book. What is the name and patronymic of the master famous throughout Russia? The question is a little provocative, but in the end you will understand the essence.

Let me remind you of some of the plot lines of the story. The Russian tsar, who is in England and is interested in all sorts of foreign curiosities, is shown a metal flea, a kind of small speck that cannot be grasped by rough male fingers, unless tender girlish fingers are invited for this purpose; and if you also wind a flea with a key “through the belly”, then it will begin to “dance” dance.

That's such a miracle! What magicians these English masters are! The king wanted to buy a flea. The insolent English with a blue eye asked for a million for her, but in silver! They sold it! Cossack Platov, who was with the king, turned white with annoyance - a million for a minute of fun, ugh! Dissuades the tsar, says that Russian masters can do no less miracles in Rus'.
Don't spoil politics for me! - the king answers Platov and rolls off the British a million.
It's in Russian!

The British gave away the flea, and asked for another five thousand for the case. It's already in English. Skvalygi! Platov began to argue, they say, the case was put for the thing, but the tsar paid. Then Platov, out of resentment, imperceptibly pried a small scope (microscope), (at least a tuft of wool from a black sheep) in order to look at the flea enlarged - it seems that the small scope is included in the kit for the flea.

In Russia, the flea was safely forgotten for many years, this is also in Russian, and only the new tsar, sorting through his father's things, discovered a strange box, the meaning of which no one understood. They found Platov, who was already retired at that time, and he explained that in the case there was a steel flea that could dance if it was wound with a key through the "bubble". The new tsar marveled at the art of the English masters, and Platov says that the Russian masters can still make not that surprise. So let them do it, says the tsar, and orders Platov to do it.

Platov found masters in the glorious city of Tula, who promised to create a miracle and, praying to God, set to work. Two weeks later, the Tula masters shod this flea, so small that you couldn’t pick it up with your fingers! And shod each paw. And without any microscope - "... we have shot the eye like that." Yes, not just a shoe, but on each smallest shoe the name of the master was engraved, which can be seen only in the smallest small scope. And the left-hander forged carnations for horseshoes, which are much smaller than the horseshoes themselves.
These are the magicians Russian masters!

The king, when he found out what the Tula people had done, was both surprised and proud of his subjects. I sent the flea back to England so that the British could see the skill of the Russians and not turn up their nose too much. And at the same time he sent a left-hander there to explain to the English what was happening.

The British marveled at the skill of the Russian masters and kept asking the left-hander what sciences the Russian masters were studying. And the left-hander says: “Our science is simple: according to the Psalter and according to the Half-Dream Book, but we don’t know arithmetic at all ... We have it so everywhere.”
Also in Russian!

The British liked the left-hander so much that they began to persuade him to stay in England, they promised a lot of money, they promised the most honorable position and an economic Englishwoman to boot. But the left-hander - in any! And your faith is not like that, he says to the English, and you don’t know how to marry, and your English women don’t dress like that ... But our faith is fuller, and our gospel is thicker, and idolized icons, and coffin heads and relics ... At home everything is their own native, habitual. And our women "everyone in their lace."
“We,” he says, “are committed to our homeland, and my aunt is already an old man, and my parent is an old woman and used to going to church when she comes ...
How is it in Russian!

Nothing is nice in a foreign land! Everything is wrong, everything is rough. Even sweet English tea is not sweet, and tea with a bite is tastier in our way. Home, home! In a word, “the British could not bring him down with anything so that he would be seduced by their life,” as the author writes.

These pieces of text, which describe the desire of the left-hander to his homeland, you read with mute delight; you understand the master, you approve - you yourself would do it - and you love him, simple-hearted, intelligent, your own, Russian.

Out of respect for the master, the British show the left-hander both machines, and mechanisms, and all sorts of devices, and he looks at all this, understands and pays attention to the guns, puts his finger in the muzzle. And then he understands one secret, very important in military affairs, and that's it! He hurried home, rather, rather, there was nothing to hold him back! The secret must be conveyed to your own!

They sent him by steamer from England to St. Petersburg, but the left-hander did not even go down to the cabin - he sat on the upper deck and looked towards his homeland. For this, his English half-skipper respected him and offered him a drink. Then he offered a bet - to drink on an equal footing ... They drank, competed ... In short, two fools, a half-skipper and a left-hander, got drunk, to hell, only one has a red-haired devil, and the other is gray. It's our way!

And in St. Petersburg, the honey-sucking legend ends and leaden Russian everyday life begins. If a drunken Englishman in St. Petersburg was taken to the embassy's house and in two days the doctors put him on his feet, then the left-hander was thrown to the floor in the quarter, i.e. in a police monkey house, if in a modern way, where the policemen (sovereign people) robbed him, took away all the money, took away his watch, took off his good coat and then, unconscious and half-naked, they drove him around the city in the cold, trying to attach him to the hospital. But in hospitals, Lefty was not accepted, because. he did not have a “tugament” (passport) - “until the very morning they dragged him along all the remote crooked paths and transplanted everything so that he was beaten all over” and the back of his head “was (strongly) split”. In short, in the homeland, where he so aspired, left-handed, hearty, tortured, tortured alive. And not even out of spite. More on gouging, indifference and stupidity.
How is it in Russian!

Before his death, the master managed to tell the doctor the secret that he understood in England:
- Tell the sovereign that the British do not clean their guns with bricks: let them not clean ours either, otherwise, God forbid, they are not suitable for shooting.
And it's in Russian! The left-hander until the last thinks about the homeland, about business, in spite of any abominations.

The doctor transmitted this information from the left-hander to the official, but due to bureaucratic stupidity and cowardice, which is equal to meanness, the information never reached the king. Such are the eternal morals of the Russian bureaucracy. And then they lost the Crimean War. The guns were cleaned with bricks.

The ending of the story about the left-hander is impossible to read without an internal shudder. An ardent hatred for the soullessness of the Russian state arises! Judge for yourself: the master was not seduced abroad, he strives for his own, for his homeland, and not just strives, but carries the most important military secret, and in his homeland the police (sovereign people) rob him, torture him and actually kill him. So you can see how the left-hander is being dragged by the legs up the stairs, and his head is beating on the steps. To the brutality of the police is added the gloomy indifference of the bureaucracy, when without some kind of crappy piece of paper it is impossible to save a person and take a dying person to the hospital. Cynicism and heartlessness.

Nothing has fundamentally changed in the Russian state over the past hundred and fifty years. All around is the same indifference of bureaucrats. None of the bosses need anything but their own self-interest. Bureaucratic greed, laziness and cowardice.
And human life is worth nothing.
You are nobody and there is no way to call you.
The lefty has no name.
No, and never has been.

The Tale of the Tula Oblique Lefty and the Steel Flea

Chapter first

When Emperor Alexander Pavlovich graduated from the Vienna Council, he wanted to travel around Europe and see miracles in different states. He traveled all over the countries and everywhere, through his affectionateness, he always had the most internecine conversations with all sorts of people, and everyone surprised him with something and wanted to bend to their side, but with him was the Don Cossack Platov, who did not like this inclination and, missing his own housekeeping, all the sovereign beckoned home. And as soon as Platov notices that the sovereign is very interested in something foreign, then all the escorts are silent, and Platov will now say: “so and so, and we have our own food no worse at home,” and he will take something away.

The British knew this, and before the sovereign's arrival, they invented various tricks to captivate him with his foreignness and distract him from the Russians, and in many cases they achieved this, especially in large meetings where Platov could not speak French completely; but he was little interested in this, because he was a married man and considered all French conversations to be trifles that are not worth imagining. And when the British began to call the sovereign to all their zeihaus, weapons and soap and saw factories, in order to show their superiority over us in all things and be famous for that, Platov said to himself:

- Well, here's the coven. So far, I have endured, but no longer. Whether I can speak or not, I won't betray my people.

And as soon as he said such a word to himself, the sovereign said to him:

- So and so, tomorrow you and I are going to see their weapons cabinet of curiosities. There,” he says, “there are such natures of perfection that, as soon as you look, you will no longer argue that we Russians are no good with our significance.

Platov did not answer the sovereign, only dipped his rough nose into a shaggy cloak, and came to his apartment, ordered the batman to bring a flask of Caucasian vodka from the cellar [Kizlyarki - Approx. author], rattled a good glass, prayed to God on the travel fold, covered himself with a cloak and snored so that no one in the whole house could sleep for the British.

I thought: the morning is wiser than the night.

Chapter Two

The next day the sovereign went with Platov to the Kunstkammers. The sovereign did not take any more of the Russians with him, because they were given a carriage with two seats.

They come to a large building - an indescribable entrance, corridors ad infinitum, and rooms one to one, and, finally, in the main hall itself there are various huge busters, and in the middle under the Baldakhin stands Abolon polvedersky.

The sovereign looks back at Platov: is he very surprised and what is he looking at; and he walks with his eyes lowered, as if he sees nothing, - only rings come out of his mustache.

The British immediately began to show various surprises and explain what they had adapted to for military circumstances: sea wind meters, merblue mantons of foot regiments, and tar waterproof cables for cavalry. The emperor rejoices at all this, everything seems very good to him, but Platov keeps his anticipation that everything means nothing to him.

The Sovereign says:

“How is that possible—why are you so insensitive?” Is there anything that surprises you here? And Platov answers:

- It’s one thing that’s surprising to me here that my fellow Don people fought without all this and drove out the language for twelve.

The Sovereign says:

- It's reckless.

Platov says:

- I don’t know what to attribute it to, but I don’t dare to argue and I must remain silent.

And the English, seeing such a quarrel between the sovereign, now brought him to Abolon himself of half a vedere and take from him Mortimer's gun from one hand, and a pistol from the other.

- Here, - they say, - what kind of productivity we have, - and they give a gun.

The emperor calmly looked at Mortimer's gun, because he has such in Tsarskoye Selo, and then they give him a pistol and say:

- This is a pistol of unknown, inimitable skill - our admiral at the robber chieftain in Candelabria pulled it out from his belt.

The sovereign looked at the pistol and could not get enough of it.

Went terribly.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he says, “how is it so ... how can it even be done so subtly!” - And he turns to Platov in Russian and says: - Now, if I had at least one such master in Russia, I would be very happy and proud of it, and I would immediately make that master noble.

And Platov, at these words, at the same moment lowered his right hand into his big trousers and dragged a rifle screwdriver from there. The English say: "It does not open," and he, not paying attention, well, pick the lock. Turned once, turned twice - the lock and pulled out. Platov shows the sovereign a dog, and there, on the very bend, a Russian inscription is made: "Ivan Moskvin in the city of Tula."

The English are surprised and push each other:

- Oh, de, we gave a blunder!

And the emperor sadly says to Platov:

“Why did you make them very embarrassed, I feel very sorry for them now. Let's go.

They sat down again in the same two-seater carriage and drove off, and the sovereign was at the ball that day, and Platov blew out an even larger glass of sour drink and slept soundly like a Cossack.

He was also happy that he embarrassed the British, and put the Tula master on the point of view, but it was also annoying: why did the sovereign regret the English under such a case!

“Through what is this sovereign upset? - thought Platov, - I don’t understand it at all, ”and in this reasoning he got up twice, crossed himself and drank vodka, until he forced himself into a sound sleep.

And the British, at that very time, also did not sleep, because they too were spinning. While the sovereign was having fun at the ball, they set up such a new surprise for him that they took away all of Platov's imagination.

Chapter Three

The next day, as Platov appeared to the sovereign with good morning, he said to him:

“Let them lay down a two-seater carriage now, and we’ll go to the new cabinets of curiosities to look.”

Platov even dared to report that it’s not enough, they say, to look at foreign products and isn’t it better to gather in Russia, but the sovereign says:

- No, I still want to see other news: they praised me how they make the first grade sugar.

The Englishmen show everything to the sovereign: what different first grades they have, and Platov looked, looked, and suddenly said:

– Can you show us your sugar factories?

And the British don't even know what a rumor is. They whisper, wink, repeat to each other: “Rumor, rumor,” but they cannot understand that we are making such sugar, and they must admit that they have all the sugar, but there is no “rumor”.

Platov says:

Well, there's nothing to brag about. Come to us, we will give you tea with the real rumor of the Bobrinsky plant.

And the emperor pulled his sleeve and said quietly:

“Please don’t spoil politics for me.

Then the British called the sovereign to the very last cabinet of curiosities, where they collected mineral stones and nymphosoria from all over the world, starting from the largest Egyptian ceramide to a skin flea that cannot be seen by the eyes, and its bite is between the skin and the body.

The Emperor has gone.

They examined the ceramides and all sorts of stuffed animals and went out, and Platov thought to himself:

“Here, thank God, everything is all right: the sovereign is not surprised at anything.”

But as soon as they came to the very last room, and here their workers in laced vests and aprons were standing and holding a tray on which there was nothing.

The sovereign was suddenly surprised that an empty tray was being served to him.

– What does this mean? - asks; and the English masters answer:

“This is our humble offering to Your Majesty.

- What is this?

“But,” they say, “would you like to see a mote?”

The emperor looked and saw: for sure, the tiniest mote lies on a silver tray.

Workers say:

- If you please, lick your finger and take it in your palm.

- What do I need this speck for?

- This, - they answer, - is not a mote, but a nymphosoria.

- Is she alive?

“Not at all,” they answer, “not alive, but from pure English steel in the image of a flea we forged, and in the middle there is a winding and a spring in it. If you please turn the key: she will now begin to dance.

The sovereign became curious and asked:

- Where is the key?

And the English say:

“Here is the key before your eyes.

- Why, - the sovereign says, - I do not see him?

- Because, - they answer, - that it is necessary in a small scope.

They gave me a small scope, and the emperor saw that there really was a key on the tray near the flea.

“Excuse me,” they say, “take her in the palm of your hand - she has a clockwork hole in her tummy, and the key has seven turns, and then she will dance ...

Forcibly, the sovereign grabbed this key and could hardly hold it in a pinch, and he took a flea in another pinch and only inserted the key, when he felt that she was starting to drive with her antennae, then she began to touch her legs, and finally suddenly jumped and on the same flight a straight dance and two one side, then the other, and so in three versions she danced the whole cavrill.

The sovereign immediately ordered the British to give a million, with whatever money they themselves want - they want in silver nickels, they want in small banknotes.

The English asked to be released in silver, because they don't know much about paperwork; and then now they showed their other trick: they gave the flea as a gift, but they didn’t bring a case for it: without a case, neither it nor the key can be kept, because they will get lost and thrown into the rubbish. And their case for it is made of a solid diamond walnut - and a place in the middle is squeezed out for it. They did not submit this, because the cases, they say, are state-owned, and they are strict about state-owned ones, although for the sovereign - you can’t donate.

Platov was very angry, because he says:

Why is this a scam! They made a gift and received a million for it, and still not enough! The case, he says, always belongs to every thing.

But the Emperor says:

- Leave it, please, it's none of your business - do not spoil my politics. They have their own custom. - And he asks: - How much is that nut worth, in which the flea fits?

The British put another five thousand for it.

Sovereign Alexander Pavlovich said: “Pay,” and he himself dropped the flea into this nut, and with it the key, and in order not to lose the nut itself, he dropped it into his golden snuff box, and ordered the snuff box to be put in his travel box, which is all lined with prelamut and, fish bone. The emperor honorably released the English masters and told them: “You are the first masters in the whole world, and my people cannot do anything against you.”

They were very pleased with this, but Platov could not utter anything against the words of the sovereign. He just took the melkoscope and, without saying anything, slipped it into his pocket, because “it belongs here,” he says, “and you already took a lot of money from us.”

Sovereign, he did not know this until his arrival in Russia, but they left soon, because the sovereign became melancholy from military affairs and he wanted to have a spiritual confession in Taganrog with priest Fedot ["Pop Fedot" was not taken out of the wind: Emperor Alexander Pavlovich before On his death in Taganrog, he confessed to the priest Alexei Fedotov-Chekhovsky, who after that was called "His Majesty's confessor", and liked to make this completely accidental circumstance appear to everyone. It is this Fedotov-Chekhovskiy, obviously, who is the legendary "priest Fedot". (Author's note.)]. On the way, they had very little pleasant conversation with Platov, because they became completely different thoughts: the sovereign thought that the British had no equal in art, and Platov argued that ours would look at anything - they could do everything, but only they had no useful teaching . And he imagined the sovereign that the English masters had completely different rules for life, science and food, and each person had all the absolute circumstances in front of him, and because of that he had a completely different meaning.

The sovereign did not want to listen to this for a long time, and Platov, seeing this, did not intensify. So they rode in silence, only Platov would come out at each station and, out of vexation, drink a glass of leavened vodka, eat a salted lamb, light his root pipe, which immediately included a whole pound of Zhukov’s tobacco, and then sit down and sit next to the tsar in the carriage in silence. The sovereign looks in one direction, and Platov sticks out the chibouk through the other window and smokes into the wind. So they reached St. Petersburg, and the emperor Platov did not take him at all to the priest Fedot.

“You,” he says, “are intemperate in spiritual conversation and smoke so much that your smoke makes my head soot.

Platov remained offended and lay down at home on an annoying couch, and so he lay there and smoked tobacco without ceasing Zhukov.

Chapter Four

The amazing flea made of English blued steel remained with Alexander Pavlovich in a casket under a fishbone until he died in Taganrog, giving it to priest Fedot, so that he would hand it over later, to the Empress, when she calmed down. The Empress Elisaveta Alekseevna looked at the flea beliefs and grinned, but did not bother with it.

“Mine,” she says, “now it’s a widow’s business, and no amusements are seductive to me,” and when she returned to Petersburg, she handed over this curiosity with all other jewelry as a legacy to the new sovereign.

Emperor Nikolai Pavlovich at first also did not pay any attention to the flea, because at sunrise there was confusion, but then once he began to review the box he had inherited from his brother and took out a snuff box from it, and a diamond nut from the snuff box, and found a steel flea in it, which had not been wound up for a long time and therefore did not act, but lay quietly, as if numb.

The emperor looked and was surprised.

- What kind of trifle is this and why does my brother have it here in such preservation!

The courtiers wanted to throw it away, but the sovereign says:

No, it means something.

They called a chemist from Anichkin Bridge from a disgusting pharmacy, who weighed poisons on the smallest scales, and they showed him, and he now took a flea, put it on his tongue and said: “I feel cold, like from strong metal.” And then he slightly crushed it with his tooth and announced:

- As you wish, but this is not a real flea, but a nymphosoria, and it is made of metal, and this work is not ours, not Russian.

The emperor ordered to find out now: where did this come from and what does it mean?

They rushed to look at the deeds and the lists, but nothing was recorded in the deeds. They began to ask one another, - no one knows anything. But, fortunately, the Don Cossack Platov was still alive and was even still lying on his annoying couch and smoking his pipe. As soon as he heard that there was such unrest in the palace, he now got up from the couch, threw down his pipe and appeared before the sovereign in all orders. The Sovereign says:

“What do you want from me, brave old man?”

And Platov answers:

“Your Majesty, I don’t need anything for myself, since I drink and eat what I want and am satisfied with everything, and I,” he says, “came to report about this nymphosoria that they found: this,” he says, “so and so it was , and this is how it happened before my eyes in England - and here she has a key with her, and I have their own small scope, through which you can see it, and with this key you can wind this nymphosoria through the belly, and it will jump in any space and to the side of the belief to do.

They started it, and she went to jump, and Platov says:

“This,” he says, “your Majesty, it’s for sure that the work is very delicate and interesting, but only we shouldn’t be surprised at this with one delight of feelings, but we should subject it to Russian revisions in Tula or in Sesterbek,” then Sestroretsk was called Sesterbek , - can not our masters surpass this, so that the British do not exalt themselves over the Russians.

Sovereign Nikolai Pavlovich was very confident in his Russian people and did not like to yield to any foreigner, and he answered Platov:

- It's you, a courageous old man, you speak well, and I instruct you to believe this business. I don’t care about this box now with my troubles, but you take it with you and don’t lie down on your annoying couch anymore, but go to the quiet Don and have internecine conversations there with my Don people about their life and devotion and what they like. And when you go through Tula, show my Tula masters this nymphosoria, and let them think about it. Tell them from me that my brother was surprised at this thing and praised strangers who made nymphosoria the most, and I hope on my own that they are no worse than anyone. They will not utter my word and will do something.

Chapter Five

Platov took a steel flea, and as he went through Tula to the Don, he showed it to the Tula gunsmiths and conveyed the words of the sovereign to them, and then asked:

– How should we be now, Orthodox?

Gunsmiths answer:

- We, father, feel the gracious word of the sovereign and we can never forget it because he hopes for his people, but how we should be in the present case, we cannot say in one minute, because the English nation is also not stupid, but rather cunning, and art in it with great meaning. Against her, they say, one must take thought and with God's blessing. And you, if your grace, like our sovereign, has confidence in us, go to your quiet Don, and leave this flea for us, as it is, in a case and in a golden royal snuffbox. Walk along the Don and heal the wounds that you mistook for your fatherland, and when you go back through Tula, stop and send for us: by that time, God willing, we’ll think of something.

Platov was not entirely satisfied that the Tula people were demanding so much time and, moreover, they did not say clearly what exactly they hoped to arrange. He asked them in one way or another, and in every way he spoke to them slyly in Don; but the Tula people did not in the least yield to him in cunning, because they immediately had such a plan, according to which they did not even hope that Platov would believe them, but wanted to fulfill their bold imagination directly, and then give it away.

“We ourselves do not yet know what we will do, but we will only hope in God, and perhaps the word of the king for our sake will not be put to shame.

So Platov wags his mind, and Tula too.

Platov wobbled and wobbled, but he saw that he couldn’t twist the tula, handed them a snuffbox with nymphosoria and said:

- Well, there is nothing to do, let, - he says, - be your way; I know what you are, well, alone, there is nothing to do - I believe you, but just look, so as not to replace the diamond and do not spoil the English fine work, but don’t bother for long, because I travel a lot: two weeks won’t pass, how I’ll turn back from the quiet Don to Petersburg - then I’ll certainly have something to show the sovereign.

The gunsmiths completely reassured him:

“We won’t do fine work,” they say, “we won’t damage it and we won’t exchange the diamond, but two weeks is enough time for us, and by the time you return back, you will have something worthy to present to the sovereign splendor.

What exactly, they didn't say.

Chapter Six

Platov left Tula, and the gunsmiths, three people, the most skillful of them, one oblique left-hander, a birthmark on his cheek, and the hair on his temples was torn out during training, said goodbye to his comrades and to their family, yes, without saying anything to anyone, took their bags, put there what you need to eat and disappeared from the city.

They only noticed that they did not go to the Moscow outpost, but to the opposite, Kiev side, and thought that they went to Kiev to bow to the reposed saints or to advise there with one of the living holy men who always stay in Kiev in abundance .

But that was only close to the truth, not the truth itself. Neither time nor distance allowed the Tula craftsmen to go on foot to Kyiv in three weeks, and even then to have time to do work that was shameful for the English nation. It would be better if they could go to pray in Moscow, which is only “two ninety miles away”, and there are many saints resting there. And in the other direction, to Orel, the same "two ninety", but beyond Orel to Kyiv again a good five hundred miles. You won’t make such a path soon, and having done it, you won’t rest soon - for a long time your legs will be glazed and your hands will shake.

Others even thought that the craftsmen had boasted in front of Platov, and then, after thinking it over, they got cold feet and now completely fled, taking with them both the royal gold snuffbox, and the diamond, and the English steel flea in a case that caused them trouble.

However, such an assumption was also completely unfounded and unworthy of skillful people, on whom the hope of the nation now rested.

Chapter Seven

Tulyaks, smart people and knowledgeable in metal work, are also known as the first experts in religion. In this respect, their native land is full of glory, and even Saint Athos: they are not only masters of singing with the Babylonians, but they know how the picture “evening bells” is written, and if one of them devotes himself to greater service and goes to monasticism, then such are reputed to be the best monastic stewards, and they make the most able collectors. On Holy Athos they know that the Tula people are the most profitable people, and if not for them, then the dark corners of Russia would probably not have seen very many saints of the distant East, and Athos would have lost many useful gifts from Russian generosity and piety. Now the "Athos Tula" carry saints throughout our homeland and skillfully collect fees even where there is nothing to take. Tulyak is full of church piety and a great practitioner of this work, and therefore those three masters who undertook to support Platov and all of Russia with him did not make the mistake of heading not to Moscow, but to the south. They did not go to Kyiv at all, but to Mtsensk, to the county town of the Oryol province, in which there is an ancient “stone-cut” icon of St. Nicholas; sailed here in the most ancient times on a large stone cross along the Zusha River. This icon is of the “terrible and terrible” type - the saint of Mir-Lycian is depicted on it “in full growth”, all dressed in silver-plated clothes, and his face is dark and holds a temple on one hand, and in the other a sword - “military overpowering”. It was in this “overcoming” that the meaning of the thing lay: St. Nikolai is generally the patron of trade and military affairs, and the “Mtsensk Nikola” in particular, and the Tula people went to bow to him. They served a prayer service at the very icon, then at the stone cross, and finally returned home “at night” and, without telling anyone anything, set to work in a terrible secret. All three of them came together in one house to the left-hander, locked the doors, closed the shutters in the windows, lit the icon lamp in front of Nikolai's image and began to work.

For a day, two, three, they sit and do not go anywhere, everyone taps with hammers. They forge something like that, but what they forge is unknown.

Everyone is curious, but no one can find out anything, because the workers do not say anything and do not show themselves outside. Different people went to the house, knocked on the doors under different forms to ask for fire or salt, but the three artisans do not open up to any demand, and even what they eat is unknown. They tried to frighten them, as if a house was on fire in the neighborhood - would they jump out in a fright and then show up what they had forged, but nothing took these cunning craftsmen; once only the left-hander leaned up to his shoulders and shouted:

- Burn yourself, but we have no time, - and again he hid his plucked head, slammed the shutter, and set to work.

Only through small slits could one see how a light gleamed inside the house, and one could hear that thin hammers were pounding on ringing anvils.

In a word, the whole business was conducted in such a terrible secret that nothing could be found out, and, moreover, it continued until the very return of the Cossack Platov from the quiet Don to the sovereign, and during all this time the masters did not see anyone and did not talk.

Chapter Eight

Platov rode very hastily and with ceremony: he himself sat in a carriage, and on the goats two whistling Cossacks with whips on both sides of the driver sat down and watered him without mercy so that he galloped. And if a Cossack dozes off, Platov himself will kick him out of the carriage, and they will rush even more angrily. These measures of inducement worked so successfully that nowhere could the horses be held at any station, and always a hundred gallops jumped past the stopping place. Then again the Cossack will act back on the coachman, and they will return to the entrance.

So they rolled into Tula - they also flew at first a hundred jumps beyond the Moscow outpost, and then the Cossack acted on the coachman with a whip in the opposite direction, and they began to harness new horses at the porch. Platov did not get out of the carriage, but only ordered the whistler to bring the artisans to him as soon as possible, to whom he had left a flea.

One whistler ran so that they would go as soon as possible and carry him the work that should have put the British to shame, and a little more this whistler ran away, when Platov sent new ones after him over and over again, so that as soon as possible.

He dispersed all the whistlers and began to send simple people from the curious public, and even he himself, out of impatience, puts his legs out of the carriage and wants to run out of impatience, but he grinds his teeth - everything is still not shown to him soon.

So at that time everything was required very neatly and quickly, so that not a single minute of Russian usefulness would be wasted.

Chapter Nine

The Tula masters, who did an amazing job, at that time were just finishing their work. The whistlers ran up to them out of breath, and ordinary people from the curious public did not run at all, because, out of habit, their legs scattered and fell down along the way, and then out of fear, so as not to look at Platov, they hit home and hid anywhere.

The whistlers, however, jumped in, now screamed, and as they saw that they did not unlock, now, without ceremony, they pulled the bolts at the shutters, but the bolts were so strong that they did not give in the least, they pulled the doors, and the doors were locked on the inside with an oak bolt. Then the whistle-blowers took a log from the street, poked it in a fireman's manner under the roofing bolt and the entire roof from the small house at once and turned it off. But they took off the roof, and they themselves fell down now, because the masters in their close mansion from breathless work in the air became such a sweaty spiral that an unaccustomed person from a fresh fad and once could not breathe.

The ambassadors shouted:

- What are you, such and such, bastards, doing, and even dare to make mistakes with such a spiral! Or in you after that there is no god!

And they answer:

- We are now hammering in the last carnation and, as soon as we score, then we will carry out our work.

And the ambassadors say:

“He will eat us alive before that hour and will not leave us for a trace of the soul.

But the masters answer:

“It won’t have time to swallow you up, because while you were talking here, we already have this last nail driven in.” Run and say what we are carrying now.

The whistlers ran, but not with assurance: they thought that the masters would deceive them; and therefore they run, run and look back; but the craftsmen followed them and hurried so very quickly that they were not even quite properly dressed for appearing to an important person, and on the go they fasten the hooks in their caftans. Two of them had nothing in their hands, and the third, a left-hander, had a royal casket with an English steel flea in a green case.

Chapter Ten

The whistlers ran up to Platov and said:

- Here they are!

Platov now to the masters:

– Is it ready?

- Everything, - they answer, - it's ready.

- Give it here.

And the carriage is already harnessed, and the coachman and the postilion are in place. The Cossacks immediately sat down next to the coachman and raised their whips over him and waved them like that and hold on.

Platov tore off the green cover, opened the box, took out a golden snuffbox from the cotton wool, and a diamond nut out of the snuffbox - he sees: the English flea lies there as it was, and there is nothing else besides it.

Platov says:

– What is this? And where is your work, with which you wanted to console the sovereign?

The gunsmiths replied:

- This is our work.

Platov asks:

- What does she mean by herself?

And the gunsmiths answer:

Why explain it? Everything here is in your mind - and provide.

Platov shrugged his shoulders and shouted:

- Where is the key to the flea?

- And right there, - they answer, - Where there is a flea, there is a key, in one nut.

Platov wanted to take the key, but his fingers were bony: he caught, he caught, he could not grasp either the flea or the key to its abdominal plant, and suddenly he became angry and began to swear words in the Cossack manner.

- Why didn't you scoundrels do anything, and even, perhaps, ruined the whole thing! I'll take your head off!

And the Tula people answered him:

- In vain you offend us like that - we from you, as from the sovereign's ambassador, must endure all insults, but only because you doubted us and thought that we were even similar to deceive the sovereign's name - we now do not tell you the secret of our work let's say, but if you please, take us to the sovereign - he will see what kind of people we are with him and whether he has any shame for us.

And Platov shouted:

“Well, you’re lying, you scoundrels, I won’t part with you like that, but one of you will go to Petersburg with me, and I will try to find out what your tricks are there.

And with that, he stretched out his hand, grabbed the left-handed left-hander by the collar with his short fingers, so that all the hooks from the Cossack flew off, and threw him into the carriage at his feet.

“Sit down,” he says, “here, all the way to St. Petersburg, like a pubel, you will answer me for everyone.” And you, - he says to the whistlers, - are now a guide! Do not yawn, so that the day after tomorrow I will be in St. Petersburg with the sovereign.

The masters only dared to say to him for a comrade that how, they say, are you taking him away from us without a tugament? he can't be followed back! And Platov, instead of answering, showed them his fist - so terrible, bumpy and all chopped up, somehow fused - and, threatening, says: “Here is a tugament for you!” And he says to the Cossacks:

- Guys, guys!

Cossacks, coachmen and horses all worked at once and drove off the left-hander without a tugament, and a day later, as Platov ordered, they rolled him up to the sovereign's palace and even, galloping properly, drove past the columns.

Platov got up, picked up the orders and went to the sovereign, and ordered the oblique left-hander to watch the whistling Cossacks at the entrance.

Chapter Eleven

Platov was afraid to appear in front of the sovereign, because Nikolai Pavlovich was terribly wonderful and memorable - he did not forget anything. Platov knew that he would certainly ask him about the flea. And so, at least he was not afraid of any enemy in the light, but then he chickened out: he entered the palace with a casket and quietly placed it in the hall behind the stove. Having hidden the casket, Platov appeared in the sovereign's office and quickly began to report on the internecine conversations among the Cossacks on the quiet Don. He thought like this: in order to occupy the sovereign with this, and then, if the sovereign himself remembers and speaks about the flea, he must file and answer, and if he does not speak, then remain silent; order the cabinet valet to hide the box, and to put the Tula left-hander in the fortress cell without a time limit, so that he could sit there until the time, if necessary.

But Emperor Nikolai Pavlovich did not forget anything, and as soon as Platov had finished talking about internecine conversations, he immediately asked him:

- And what, how did my Tula masters justify themselves against the English nymphosoria?

Platov answered in the way that seemed to him.

“Nymphosoria,” he says, “your majesty, everything is in the same space, and I brought it back, but the Tula masters could not do anything more amazing.

The emperor replied:

“You are a courageous old man, and this, what you are reporting to me, cannot be.

Platov began to assure him and told how the whole thing had happened, and how he went so far as to say that the Tula people asked him to show his flea to the sovereign, Nikolai Pavlovich clapped him on the shoulder and said:

- Give it here. I know that mine cannot deceive me. Something beyond the concept is done here.

Chapter Twelve

They took out a box from behind the stove, removed the cloth cover from it, opened a golden snuffbox and a diamond nut - and in it lies a flea, which it was before and how it lay.

The emperor looked and said:

- What a hell of a thing! - But he did not diminish his faith in Russian masters, but ordered to call his beloved daughter Alexandra Nikolaevna and ordered her:

- You have thin fingers on your hands - take a small key and start the abdominal machine in this nymphosoria as soon as possible.

The princess began to turn the little key, and the flea now moved its antennae, but did not touch its legs. Alexandra Nikolaevna pulled the whole factory, but the nymphosoria still doesn’t dance and doesn’t throw out a single version, as before.

Platov turned green all over and shouted:

- Oh, they are dog rogues! Now I understand why they didn't want to tell me anything there. It's good that I took one of their fools with me.

With these words, he ran out to the entrance, caught the left-hander by the hair and began to pull back and forth so that shreds flew. And when Platov stopped beating him, he recovered and said:

- I already had all my hair torn out during my studies, but now I don’t know why I need such a repetition?

- This is because, - says Platov, - that I hoped for you and enlisted, and you spoiled a rare thing.

Lefty says:

- We are very pleased that you vouched for us, but we didn’t spoil anything: take it, look into the strongest small scope.

Platov ran back to talk about the smallscope, but the left-hander only threatened:

- I'll give you, - he says, - such-and-such-such, I'll ask you more.

And he ordered the whistlers to twist their elbows back even more tightly to the left-hander, and he himself climbs the steps, out of breath and reads a prayer: “Good king, good mother, pure and pure,” and further, as necessary. And the courtiers, who are standing on the steps, all turn away from him, they think: Platov has been caught and now they will chase him out of the palace - that's why they could not stand him for his courage.

Chapter Thirteen

As Platov brought Levshina's words to the sovereign, he now happily says:

“I know that my Russian people will not deceive me.” And he ordered me to bring a melkoscope on a pillow.

At that very moment, the melkoscope was brought in, and the sovereign took the flea and put it under the glass, first with its back up, then sideways, then with its belly - in a word, they turned it on all sides, but there was nothing to see. But the sovereign did not lose his faith even here, but only said:

“Bring this gunsmith down here to me now.

Platov reports:

- He should be dressed up - he was taken in what, and now he is in a very evil form.

And the Emperor replies:

- Nothing - enter it as it is.

Platov says:

- Now go yourself, such and such, answer before the eyes of the sovereign.

And the lefty says:

- Well, I'll go and answer.

He wears what he was: in shawls, one leg is in a boot, the other is dangled, and the ozyamchik is old, the hooks do not fasten, they are lost, and the collar is torn; but nothing, do not be embarrassed.

“What is it? - thinks. - If the sovereign wants to see me, I must go; and if I don’t have a tugament, then I didn’t cause it and I’ll tell you why it happened like that.

As the left-hander ascended and bowed, the sovereign now says to him:

- What is it, brother, does it mean that we looked this way and that, and put it under a small scope, but we don’t see anything remarkable?

And the lefty says:

“So, your majesty, did you deign to look?”

The nobles nod to him: they say, you don’t say so! but he does not understand how it should be in a courtly manner, with flattery or cunning, but speaks simply.

The Sovereign says:

- Leave him to be wiser - let him answer as he can.

And now he explained:

“We,” he says, “that's how they laid it,” And he put the flea under the small scope. “Look,” he says, “you can’t see anything yourself.”

Lefty says:

“So, Your Majesty, it’s impossible to see anything, because our work against this size is much more secret.

The Emperor asked:

– How should it be?

“It is necessary,” she says, “just to bring one of her legs in detail under the entire melkoscope and look separately at every heel with which she steps.

Have mercy, tell me, - says the sovereign, - this is already very small!

“But what can we do,” the left-hander replies, “if only in this way our work can be noticed: then everything and surprise will turn out.

They put it down, as the left-hander said, and the sovereign, as soon as he looked into the upper glass, beamed all over - he took the left-hander, which he was untidy and dusty, unwashed, hugged him and kissed him, and then turned to all the courtiers and said:

“You see, I knew better than anyone that my Russians would not deceive me. Look, please: after all, they, rogues, have shod an English flea on horseshoes!

Chapter Fourteen

Everyone began to come up and look: the flea really was shod on all legs with real horseshoes, and the left-hander reported that this was not all amazing.

- If, - he says, - there was a better smallscope, which magnifies it at five million, then you would deign, - he says, - to see that on each horseshoe the master's name is displayed: which Russian master made that horseshoe.

- And your name is here? the sovereign asked.

“Not at all,” the left-hander replies, “I don’t have one.

Why not?

“Because,” he says, “I worked smaller than these horseshoes: I forged carnations with which the horseshoes were clogged, no small scope can take it anymore.

The Emperor asked:

“Where is your melkoscope with which you could produce this surprise?”

The lefty replied:

- We are poor people and because of our poverty we do not have a small scope, but we have shot our eyes like that.

Then the other courtiers, seeing that the left-handed business had burned out, began to kiss him, and Platov gave him a hundred rubles and said:

- Forgive me, brother, that I tore you by the hair.

Lefty says:

- God will forgive - this is not the first time such snow on our heads.

And he didn’t talk anymore, and he didn’t have time to talk to anyone, because the sovereign ordered this savvy nymphosoria to be put down immediately and sent back to England - like a gift, so that they would understand that we were not surprised. And the sovereign ordered that a special courier, who was learned in all languages, carried the flea, and that he was also left-handed and that he himself could show the British the work and what kind of masters we have in Tula.

Platov baptized him.

“Let,” he says, “a blessing be upon you, and on the road I will send you my own sour. Don't drink a little, don't drink a lot, but drink sparingly.

And so he did - sent.

And Count Kiselvrode ordered that the left-hander be washed in the Tulyakovo national baths, cut off at the barbershop and dressed in a ceremonial caftan from the court chorister, in order to make it look like he had some kind of rank on him.

How they molded him in such a manner, gave him tea with Platov's sour on the road, tightened his belt as tightly as possible so that his intestines did not shake, and took him to London. From here, with the left-hander, foreign views went.

Chapter fifteen

The courier with the left-hander drove very quickly, so that from Petersburg to London they did not stop anywhere to rest, but only at each station the belts were already tightened by one badge so that the intestines and lungs would not get mixed up; but as a left-hander, after being presented to the sovereign, by Platov’s order, a portion of wine was relied on from the treasury to his heart's content, he, not having eaten, supported himself with this alone and sang Russian songs throughout Europe, only did the chorus in a foreign way: “Ay lyuli - se tre zhuli ".

As soon as the courier brought him to London, he appeared to the right person and gave the casket, and put the left-hander in a hotel room, but he soon became bored here, and even wanted to eat. He knocked on the door and pointed to the mouth of the attendant, who now led him into the catering room.

The left-hander sat down at the table and sits, but he doesn’t know how to ask something in English. But then he guessed: again he would simply tap on the table with his finger and show himself in his mouth - the British guess and serve, only not always what is needed, but he does not accept what is not suitable for him. They served him hot studing on fire prepared by them, - he says: “I don’t know that you can eat this,” and did not eat it; they changed it for him and gave him another dish. Also, I didn’t drink their vodka, because it’s green - it seems like it’s seasoned with vitriol, but I chose what’s most natural and waits for the courier in the cool for an eggplant.

And those persons to whom the courier handed over the nymphosoria, this very minute examined it in the most powerful small scope and now a description in the public statements, so that tomorrow the slander will be released to the general public.

- And this master himself, - they say, - we now want to see.

The courier escorted them to the room, and from there to the food reception hall, where our left-hander was already fairly reddened, and said: “Here he is!”

The British left-handers are now clap-clap on the shoulder and, as an even person, by the hands. “Comrade,” they say, “comrade is a good master, “we will talk with you later, and now we will drink to your well-being.”

They asked for a lot of wine, and the left-hander the first glass, but he politely did not drink the first: he thinks, maybe you want to poison him out of annoyance.

- No, - he says, - this is not order: there is no longer a master in Poland - eat ahead yourself.

The English tried all the wines in front of him and then they began to pour him. He stood up, crossed himself with his left hand and drank to their health.

They noticed that he was crossing himself with his left hand, and asked the courier:

Is he a Lutheran or a Protestant?

The courier says:

– No, he is not a Lutheran or a Protestant, but of the Russian faith.

Why does he cross himself with his left hand?

The courier said:

He is left-handed and does everything with his left hand.

The British began to be even more surprised - and they began to fill both the left-hander and the courier with wine, and so they managed for three whole days, and then they say: "Now that's enough." According to the symphony of water with an erfix, they accepted and, completely refreshed, began to ask the left-hander: where did he study and what did he study and how long does he know arithmetic?

Lefty says:

- Our science is simple: according to the Psalter and according to the Poluson, but we do not know arithmetic at all.

The English looked at each other and said:

- It is amazing.

And Lefty answers them:

“We have it all over the place.

- And what is this, - they ask, - for the book in Russia "Sleep Book"?

“This,” he says, “is a book referring to the fact that if in the Psalter King David did not clearly reveal anything about fortune-telling, then in the Half-Dream Book they guess the addition.

They say:

- It's a pity, it would be better if you knew at least four rules of addition from arithmetic, then it would be much more useful for you than the whole Polusonnik. Then you could realize that in every machine there is a force calculation; otherwise you are very skillful in your hands, and you didn’t realize that such a small machine, as in a nymphosoria, is designed for the most accurate accuracy and cannot carry its horseshoes. Through this, now nymphosoria does not jump and dance does not dance.

Lefty agreed.

- About this, - he says, - there is no doubt that we have not gone into the sciences, but only faithfully devoted to our fatherland.

And the English say to him:

- Stay with us, we will give you a great education, and you will become an amazing master.

But the left-hander did not agree to this.

“I have,” he says, “I have parents at home.

The British called themselves to send money to his parents, but the left-hander did not take it.

“We,” he says, “are committed to our homeland, and my aunt is already an old man, and my parent is an old woman and used to going to church in her parish, and it will be very boring for me here alone, because I’m still in the bachelor rank.

“You,” they say, “get used to it, accept our law, and we will marry you.”

“That,” the left-hander replied, “can never be.

- Why is that?

“Because,” he answers, “our Russian faith is the most correct, and as our right-wingers believed, so must descendants believe as well.”

“You,” say the English, “do not know our faith: we contain the same Christian law and the same gospel.

“The gospel,” answers the left-hander, “indeed, everyone has one, but only our books are thicker than yours, and our faith is fuller.

Why can you judge it like that?

“We have that,” he answers, “there is all the obvious evidence.

- And such, - he says, - that we have both idolized icons and coffin heads and relics, but you have nothing, and even, except for one Sunday, there are no emergency holidays, and for the second reason - me and an Englishwoman, although having married in law, it will be embarrassing to live.

- Why is it so? - they ask. - Do not neglect: ours also dress very cleanly and housekeeping.

The lefty says:

- I do not know them.

The English answer:

- It doesn’t matter the essence - you can find out: we will make you a grand devout.

Lefty was ashamed.

“Why,” he says, “it’s useless to fool the girls.” And he denied it.

The British were curious:

- And if, - they say, - without a grande deux, then how do you act in such cases in order to make a pleasant choice?

The left-hander explained our position to them.

“With us,” he says, “when a man wants to discover a detailed intention about a girl, he sends a conversational woman, and as she makes an excuse, then they politely go into the house together and look at the girl without hiding, but with all their kinship.

They understood, but answered that they did not have colloquial women and that such a habit was not common, and the left-hander said:

- This is all the more pleasant, because if you do such a thing, then you need to do it with a detailed intention, but since I don’t feel this towards a foreign nation, then why fool the girls?

The British liked him in these judgments of his, so they again went over his shoulders and knees with a pleasant clapping with their hands, and they themselves ask:

“We would,” they say, “only through curiosity would like to know: what vicious signs have you noticed in our girls and why are you running around them?”

Here the left-hander answered them frankly:

- I don’t defame them, but I just don’t like that the clothes are somehow waving on them, and you can’t make out what they are wearing and for what purpose; here is one thing, and below it another is pinned, and on the hands are some kind of legs. Quite accurately, the sapage monkey is a plush talma.

The English laughed and said:

What is the obstacle in this for you?

“There are no obstacles,” the left-hander replies, “but I’m only afraid that it will be a shame to watch and wait for her to figure it all out.

- Is it really, - they say, - your style is better?

“Our style,” he answers, “in Tula is simple: everyone in their laces, and even big ladies wear our laces.

They also showed him to their ladies, and there they poured tea for him and asked:

- Why are you grimacing?

He answered that we, he says, are not accustomed very sweetly.

Then he was given a bite in Russian.

It is shown to them that it seems to be worse, and he says:

- For our taste, it tastes better.

The British could not bring him down with anything so that he would be seduced by their life, but only persuaded him to stay for a short time, and at that time they would take him to different factories and show all their art.

- And then, - they say, - we will bring him on our ship and deliver him alive to Petersburg.

To this he agreed.

Chapter Sixteen

The British took the lefty in their hands, and sent the Russian courier back to Russia. Although the courier had a rank and was trained in various languages, they were not interested in him, but were interested in the left-hander, and they went to drive the left-hander and show him everything. He looked at all their production: both metal factories and soap and sawmills, and all their economic arrangements, he liked him very much, especially with regard to the working content. Every worker they have is constantly full, dressed not in scraps, but on everyone a capable tunic waistcoat, shod in thick anklets with iron knobs, so that they don’t cut their feet anywhere; does not work with a boilie, but with training and has a clue. In front of each one hangs a multiplication block in plain sight, and an erasable tablet is at hand: everything that the master does, he looks at the block and checks with the concept, and then writes one thing on the tablet, erases the other and neatly reduces: what is written on the tsifirs, then and actually comes out. And the holiday will come, they will gather in a couple, take a stick in their hands and go for a walk decorously and nobly, as they should.

The left-hander had seen enough of all their life and all their work, but most of all he paid attention to such a subject that the British were very surprised. He was not so interested in how new guns were made, but in what form the old ones were. Everything goes around and praises, and says:

– This is what we can do.

And when he gets to the old gun, he puts his finger in the barrel, moves along the walls and sighs:

- This, - he says, - against ours is not an example of the most excellent.

The English could not guess what the left-hander notices, and he asks:

“Can’t,” he says, “I know that our generals have ever looked at this or not?” They tell him:

Those who were here must have been watching.

- And how, - he says, - were they with a glove or without a glove?

“Your generals,” they say, “are parade, they always wear gloves; so it was here too.

Lefty didn't say anything. But suddenly he began to get bored restlessly. He yearned and yearned and said to the English:

- Thank you humbly at all the treats, and I am very pleased with everything with you and I have already seen everything that I needed to see, and now I want to go home sooner.

They couldn't hold him any longer. You can’t let him go by land, because he didn’t know how to speak all languages, but it wasn’t good to swim on water, because it was autumn, stormy time, but he stuck: let him go.

“We looked at the storm meter,” they say, “there will be a storm, you can drown; it's not that you have the Gulf of Finland, but here is the real Solid Earth Sea.

- It's all the same, - he answers, - where to die, - everything is unique, the will of God, but I want to return to my native place, because otherwise I can get a kind of insanity.

They didn’t hold him by force: they fed him, rewarded him with money, gave him a gold watch with a trepeter as a keepsake, and for the coolness of the sea on the late autumn journey they gave him a flannel coat with a wind hood on his head. They dressed very warmly and took the left-hander to the ship that was going to Russia. Here they placed a left-hander in the best possible way, like a real gentleman, but he did not like to sit in the closing room with other gentlemen and was ashamed, but he would go on deck, sit under a present and ask: “Where is our Russia?”

The Englishman whom he asks will point his hand in that direction or wave his head, and he will turn his face there and look impatiently in his native direction.

As soon as they left the buffet in the Solid Earth Sea, his desire for Russia became so intense that it was impossible to calm him down. The water supply has become terrible, but the left-hander does not go down to the cabins - he sits under a present, puts on his hood and looks to the fatherland.

Many times the English came to a warm place to call him down, but in order not to be bothered, he even began to kick.

“No,” he answers, “it’s better for me outside; otherwise a guinea pig will become with me under the roof from swaying.

So all the time I didn’t go until a special occasion, and because of this I really liked one half-skipper, who, to the grief of our left-hander, knew how to speak Russian. This half-skipper could not be surprised that a Russian land man can withstand all the bad weather anyway.

- Well done, - he says, - Russian! Let's drink!

Lefty drank.

And the half-skipper says:

Left-handed and drank some more, and got drunk.

The skipper asks him:

– What secret are you bringing to Russia from our state?

Lefty says:

- It's my business.

“And if so,” answered the half-skipper, “then let’s keep an English parey with you.”

Lefty asks:

- Such that you don’t drink anything alone, but drink everything equally: what one, then certainly the other, and whoever outdrinks whom, that’s a hill.

The left-hander thinks: the sky is clouding, the belly is swelling - the boredom is great, and the Putin is long, and you can’t see your native place behind the wave - it will still be more fun to bet.

“Okay,” he says, “it’s coming!”

- Just to be honest.

“Yes, that’s it,” he says, “don’t worry.

They agreed and shook hands.

Chapter Seventeen

They started betting back in the Solid Earth Sea, and they drank until the Riga Dinaminda, but they all walked on an equal footing and did not concede to each other and were so neatly equal that when one, looking into the sea, saw how the devil was climbing out of the water, so now it’s the same thing happened to the other. Only the half-skipper sees the trait of the redhead, and the left-hander says that he is dark as a murine.

Lefty says:

- Cross yourself and turn away - this is the devil from the abyss.

And the Englishman argues that "this is a sea eye."

“Do you want,” he says, “I will throw you into the sea?” Don't be afraid - he will give you back to me now.

And the lefty says:

- If so, then throw it.

The half-skipper took him by the backs and carried him to the side.

The sailors saw this, stopped them and reported to the captain, and he ordered them both to be locked up downstairs and given rum and wine and cold food so that they could both drink and eat and stand their bet - and they were not to serve hot studing with fire, because they can burn alcohol in their guts.

So they were brought locked up to Petersburg, and not one of them won a bet with each other; and then they laid them out on different wagons and took the Englishman to the messenger's house on the Aglitskaya embankment, and the left-hander - to the quarter.

Hence, their fate began to differ greatly.

Chapter Eighteen

As soon as they brought the Englishman to the embassy's house, they immediately called a doctor and a pharmacist to him. The doctor ordered him to be put into a warm bath with him, and the pharmacist immediately rolled up a gutta-percha pill and put it into his mouth himself, and then both took it together and laid it on a feather bed and covered it with a fur coat on top and left it to sweat, and so that no one would interfere with him, everything the order was given to the embassy so that no one dares to sneeze. The doctor and the pharmacist waited until the half-skipper fell asleep, and then another gutta-percha pill was prepared for him, they put it on the table near his head and left.

And the left-hander was dumped on the floor in the quarter and asked:

- Who is he and where is he from, and do you have a passport or some other document?

And he, from illness, from drinking, and from long squirming, has become so weak that he does not answer a word, but only groans.

Then they immediately searched him, took off his colorful dress and his watch with a trepeter, and took away the money, and the bailiff himself ordered to be sent to the hospital in an oncoming cab free of charge.

The policeman led the left-hander to put on a sled, but for a long time he could not catch a single oncoming one, because the cabbies run from the policemen. And the left-hander lay on the cold paratha all the time; then he caught a police cab driver, only without a warm fox, because they hide a fox in a sleigh under themselves in such a case, so that the policemen's legs get cold sooner. They drove a left-hander so uncovered, but when they start transferring from one cab to another, they drop everything, and they start picking it up - they tear the ears so that it comes to memory.

They brought him to one hospital - they don’t accept him without a tugament, they brought him to another - and there, they don’t accept him, and so on to the third, and to the fourth - until the very morning they dragged him along all the remote crooked paths and transplanted everything, so that he was beaten all over. Then one assistant doctor told the policeman to take him to the common people's Obukhvinsk hospital, where everyone of an unknown class is accepted to die.

Here they ordered to give a receipt, and to put the left-hander on the floor in the corridor until the disassembly.

And the English half-skipper at that very time got up the next day, swallowed another gutta-percha pill in his gut, ate chicken with lynx for a light breakfast, washed it down with erfix and said:

- Where is my Russian comrade? I'll go look for him.

I got dressed and ran.

Chapter Nineteen

In an amazing manner, the half-skipper somehow very soon found the left-hander, only they had not yet laid him on the bed, and he was lying on the floor in the corridor and complaining to the Englishman.

- I would, - he says, - two words to the sovereign must certainly be said.

The Englishman ran to Count Kleinmichel and made a noise:

– Is it possible! He, - he says, - even though he has an Ovechkin coat, has the soul of a man.

The Englishman is now out of there for this reasoning, so as not to dare to commemorate the soul of a little man. And then someone said to him: "You'd better go to the Cossack Platov - he has simple feelings."

The Englishman reached Platov, who was now back on the couch. Platov listened to him and remembered the left-hander.

“Well, brother,” he says, “I know him very briefly, even pulled his hair, but I don’t know how to help him in such an unfortunate time; because I have already served my full service and have received a full puple - now they don’t respect me anymore - and you quickly run to the commandant Skobelev, he is capable and also experienced in this part, he will do something.

The half-skipper also went to Skobelev and told him everything: what illness the left-hander had and why it happened. Skobelev says:

- I understand this disease, only the Germans cannot treat it, and here you need some doctor from the clergy, because they have grown up in these examples and can help; I will now send the Russian doctor Martyn-Solsky there.

But only when Martyn-Solsky arrived, the left-hander was already running out, because the back of his head was split on parat, and he could only clearly pronounce:

- Tell the sovereign that the British do not clean their guns with bricks: even if they don’t clean ours, otherwise, God forbid, they are not good for shooting.

And with this fidelity, the left-hander crossed himself and died. Martin-Solsky immediately went, reported this to Count Chernyshev in order to bring it to the sovereign, and Count Chernyshev shouted at him:

“Know,” he says, “your emetic and laxative, and don’t interfere in your own business: in Russia there are generals for this.

The sovereign was never told, and the purge continued until the very Crimean campaign. At that time, they began to load guns, and the bullets dangle in them, because the barrels were cleared with bricks.

Here Martyn-Solsky reminded Chernyshev about the left-hander, and Count Chernyshev said:

“Go to hell, you placid pipe, don’t interfere in your own business, otherwise I’ll admit that I never heard about this from you, and you’ll get it.”

Martyn-Solsky thought: “He really will open it,” and he remained silent.

And if they brought the left-handed words to the sovereign in due time, in the Crimea, in a war with the enemy, it would have been a completely different turn.

Chapter Twenty

Now all this is already “deeds of bygone days” and “traditions of antiquity”, although not deep, but there is no need to rush to forget these traditions, despite the fabulous warehouse of the legend and the epic character of its protagonist. The left-hander's proper name, like the names of many of the greatest geniuses, is forever lost to posterity; but as a myth personified by folk fantasy, it is interesting, and its adventures can serve as a recollection of an era, the general spirit of which is captured aptly and correctly.

Such masters as the fabulous left-hander, of course, no longer exist in Tula: machines have evened out the inequality of talents and gifts, and genius is not torn in the struggle against diligence and accuracy. Favoring the rise of earnings, the machines do not favor artistic prowess, which sometimes exceeded the measure, inspiring popular fantasy to compose such fabulous legends as the present one.

Workers, of course, know how to appreciate the benefits brought to them by the practical devices of mechanical science, but they remember the former antiquity with pride and love. This is their epic, and, moreover, with a very "human soul."