What to do if you fell in love with a theater actor. Why do we "fall in love" with celebrities

13.06.2019

Who in his youth did not fall in love with famous actors, musicians, TV stars and other celebrities. Where can you meet them and how to fall in love with yourself. First of all, remember that celebrities are people too, therefore, the methods of falling in love are the same as for ordinary guys and girls with some features. The main problem is where to meet this celebrity. 20 ways to fall in love with a celebrity.

Method Navigator

Method 1. Regulars of club concerts

Usually, musicians performing at club parties invite their friends. Seeing familiar faces in the hall, try to naturally approach them, taking a place nearby.

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Try to strike up an unobtrusive, non-committal conversation with him. At the same time, in no case do not show stormy admiration for meeting with him. Just relax and do not interfere with the person doing it. If you manage to seem to him an interesting unusual interlocutor, you will have a chance to continue the relationship.

Method 2. Castings

By visiting auditions, you can get acquainted with both famous jury members, their invited colleagues, and with novice artists. Perhaps you will meet your true love in the face of an unknown participant in the show. Try to get an autograph from celebrities. You have to be remembered for something, to stand out from the crowd.

Method 3. Page on social networks

Often, celebrities have their own pages on social networks. Try to get through to them this way. But do not forget that many have already tried to do this before you. If you manage to become something special for a celebrity, hook his soul strings, you will have a chance. If you did not succeed, perhaps this is for the best, perhaps this is not your person.

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Method 4. Imitation of an interview

If you are desperate and determined, try to get an interview with the subject of your dreams. The easiest way to do this is through the same social networks. True, in order to interest a person, you will have to prepare thoroughly. Trivial questions will not work. We'll have to try and find something that can hook the interlocutor, as they say, to the quick.

Method 5. Hotel bar

If you really want to meet a star, find out in advance the address of the bar where his fans gather. As a rule, after concerts, the stars pay attention to them. Try to get to the celebrity and be remembered.

Method 6. Airport

The life of celebrities is characterized by frequent tours. Usually, in order to save time, they fly by plane. We'll have to do preliminary work, knowing the time of departure. In the airport hall there are many reasons to casually meet a bored celebrity.

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Method 7. Autographs

The distribution of autographs has not yet been canceled. The easiest way to approach a celebrity is after a concert, performance, show, filming for an autograph. This is not only a tradition, but also a pleasant experience for a celebrity, no matter what they say about it. After all, if they do not want to take an autograph, there is no popularity.

If your daughter is in love with an actor, for starters, instead of being nervous and worried, analyze the situation and determine all the pros and cons.

Manifestation of love

So, what is the love for the actor? Often it looks like buying posters, watching all the movies or series with him in a circle, searching for any information. The girl seems to fixate on this person. But we behave the same way when we fall in love with someone real: we want to constantly see this person and know everything about him. So your child's behavior can hardly be called inadequate. It's just that when all emotions are directed not at the boy who sits at the next desk, but at a person living at a distance of hundreds or even thousands of kilometers, it seems strange to adults.

The influence of the actor on the girl

Now let's talk about whether an actor or a character (because it often happens that falling in love with an actor is more like falling in love with the character he plays) is positive or negative. Moreover, even if it is, for example, a vampire, you should not immediately write it down in the category of villains. After all, perhaps, according to the development of the plot, he manifests himself as a noble knight, changes for the better and shows himself as a hero who is ready to do anything for the sake of a loved one. So, first of all, figure out who your daughter is in love with. And in no case do not criticize him, especially if you really have little understanding of what an actor or his character is. It is quite possible that thanks to such falling in love, the girl learns some kind of life wisdom. Therefore, it would be useful to read an interview with this person, to find out what thoughts he promotes. If you see that this person says the right things and promotes kindness, honesty, respect, the desire to achieve something with their work, and so on, then you definitely don’t have to worry. After all, since for your child he is currently the standard, the daughter will listen to the words of her favorite actor and do as he says.

But in cases where the child’s pet leads a clearly wrong lifestyle and, with its behavior, promotes, roughly speaking, “sex, drugs and rock and roll,” you need to be wary. Just do not rush to tear down all the posters and accuse this person of mortal sins. Remember that your daughter is a teenager. At this age, we all hyperbolize and perceive everything “with hostility”. Therefore, instead of forbidding the child, so to speak, to love the actor, just talk to her, find out how she relates to addictions and so on. If the girl herself condemns it, then there is nothing to worry about. But in the case when she takes his side and tells you that it’s cool to live like that, try to calmly convince her. But be that as it may, in any case, never put pressure on the girl and do not show your sharply negative attitude towards her idol.

talent development

If your daughter is in love with a truly talented and adequate person, then such feelings can become an impetus for the development of a creative streak in a child. It often happens that, having been carried away by some actor, the girls begin to draw his portraits, compose poems and stories, and write songs. But this is wonderful, because thanks to such a hobby, a girl can really discover a creative beginning in herself, which she had no idea about, turning out to be a talented poetess or a wonderful singer. So, noticing that your daughter writes some poetry or comes up with a new melody, in no case do not laugh at her and do not say that this is a whim. Let it develop itself. Then the love for the actor will pass, but the desire to create will remain forever. But when parents begin to laugh at the hobbies of their children, often girls simply give up any hobbies and hobbies, they begin to consider themselves stupid primitive, unable to do something interesting and special. So, before you say something to your daughter, think carefully. After all, if this may seem like an innocent joke to you, then for a child such words will turn out to be very offensive and hurt to the very heart.

"Safe" love

When mothers begin to worry about their daughter falling in love, they rarely think that this form of love is the safest. Of course, if the girl does not seriously run away from home and is not eager to look for her beloved and marry him. But since most teenagers are in love with foreign actors, this scenario is the least likely. If your girl just sits at home and writes love letters "to the table", then you are, in fact, very lucky. Indeed, in this case, no one will break your daughter's heart and offend. If she was so selflessly in love with a real guy, especially an older one, then everything could end badly. And so, having no real access to a person, a girl simply learns to love, while not losing anything. Of course, it seems to her that she is suffering and her feelings are very strong, but in fact, years will pass and your daughter will understand that it was this love that was the purest, brightest and most painless. After all, she loved the invented person, whom she endowed with special, ideal qualities for herself. And he couldn't disappoint her. Such idealization of images is inherent in almost all female representatives, but if the person is real, then he, most likely, in the end simply breaks all dreams and hopes. But the actor on the poster will always remain the way the girl sees him. He will not offend, will not offend, will not humiliate and laugh at her feelings.

Every fan secretly dreams of marrying their idol, and every fan is ready to sell their soul to the devil for a night with their favorite star. But this happens, to put it mildly, quite rarely, almost never. And yet miracles happen, and the impossible becomes quite real. Today we will tell you about those to whom fate presented a gift and fulfilled their appreciable dream - they were lucky to become the second halves of their idols.

Elvis and Priscilla Presley

March 1963 Priscilla(70) was only 14 years old when she met Elvis Presley(1935−1977). Later, she got to a party at the house of the king of rock and roll, the Graceland estate, where their romance began. Under pressure from the girl's parents, Presley married 17-year-old Priscilla in 1967, and in 1968 they had a daughter, Lisa-Marie. But the stormy romance ended six years later, and in 1973 the couple divorced.

And Kelly Preston


This is probably one of the most fabulous love stories that happened between a star and a mere mortal. An ordinary girl Kelly Preston(53) was the most devoted fan of the actor's work John Travolta(61) ever since I saw him in Grease. Kelly, who later became an actress, admitted that from the age of 16 she believed that she would meet him, since she had a lead in which she and John were together. And so, in 1989, they met on the set of the film "Experts" and fell in love. They have three children (eldest son Jett tragically passed away in 2009), and they are still together. Travolta sometimes plays pranks on his fan wife.

and Alice Kim

Alice Kim was a simple waitress in an ordinary Korean restaurant in Los Angeles. One day Nicolas Cage(51) went there and, seeing her, immediately fell in love. But the naive actor could not even imagine that the girl had long been in love with him and knew all his films. In 2004, they married on a ranch in Northern California, and in 2005 the couple had a son, whom Cage named Kal-El.

Vladimir Levkin and Marina Ichetovkina


This story has already made its way around the Internet. Popular singer, former member of the group "Na-na" Vladimir Levkin(48) married a provincial girl Marina Ichetovkina who came to conquer Moscow. He met his future, third wife at a ... fan meeting. Marina Ichetovkina has been in love with her idol for 16 years, but by the time they met she had already become a successful lady. At that time, she was going to marry someone else, but she decided to leave him for the sake of her dream. Today, Vladimir and Marina are happy together, and they have a three-year-old daughter, Nika.

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise


Katie Holmes(36) much younger Tom Cruise(53). When she was still very young, she watched his films and was head over heels in love with the actor. But could Katie then imagine that, having matured, she herself would become a successful actress and marry her idol? Holmes has repeatedly admitted in interviews that she dreamed of marrying Tom long before she met him. Katy and Tom got married in 2006, and their wonderful daughter Suri was born the same year. But six years later, this fairy tale ended - the couple divorced.

and Luciana Barroso


Actor Matt Damon(45) became another happy exception to the list of celebrities who communicate only with their own kind. Matt met his future wife Luciana Barroso(39) not on the red carpet, but in a restaurant in Miami where she worked as a waitress. They started dating in 2003 and got married in 2005. The couple had three daughters, in addition, Lucyana's daughter from her first marriage lives with them.

Patrick Dempsey and Gillian Fink


Actor Patrick Dempsey(49) once decided to book a haircut. Nothing foreshadowed trouble, but on that day his fan worked in the salon Gillian Fink, who did not miss the chance to charm her idol. As a result, in 1999 they got married, and they had three children: a daughter and twin sons.

Anne Hathaway and Adam Shulman


One can hardly imagine that the long-legged beauty Ann Hataway(32), who was surrounded by the attention of billionaires and handsome men, will fall in love with an inconspicuous, short and modest guy - a little-known actor and jeweler Adam Shulman. They met on the set in 2008 and in 2011 announced their engagement, and in 2012 they got married, combining Christian and Jewish traditions.

and Danny Moder


While the richest and most famous men on the planet were ready to give their hearts to the famous actress Julia Roberts(47), she preferred to give her simple guy - the operator Danny Moderu, whom she met on the set of the movie The Mexican in 2000. Four years later, the couple had twin girls, and in 2007 a son. The couple lead a modest lifestyle, and Julia is actively involved in charity work.

And Jackie Titon


Once upon a time a little-known actress Jackie Titon(41) fell in love with a comedy star Adam Sandler(49) and for his sake even adopted Judaism. Three years after they met, in 2003, they got married and to this day live happily married, the couple has two daughters.

And Cash Warren


These hearts met on the set of the Fantastic Four movie in 2004, where Cash Warren(36) worked as an assistant producer. Probably the guy did not expect such a star girl as Jessica Alba(34), will turn his gaze to him, but, according to the actress, a spark immediately ran between them. Soon they began to meet, in 2008 they got married, and they had two children, and Jessica devoted herself entirely to caring for the family.

Fergie and Josh Duhamel


In October 2004, the actor and model Josh Duhamel(42) admitted in one of his interviews that he often sees the singer Stacy Ferguson(40), better known as Fergie, is in a dream and has long been her biggest fan. And at that time the guy met with Christy Pierce. He later met Fergie on the set of Las Vegas. There she asked him how good those dreams were. They started dating and got married in 2009.

Star of the popular evening show Conan O'Brien(52) fell in love with his future wife at first sight. In 2000, on one of the episodes of his show Lisa Powell sat in the hall, where he noticed her. In 2002 they got married. The couple have a son and a daughter.

Hello, I have a problem that I can’t get rid of, although I would really like to. I fell in love with a singer, I don’t know what to do now. Recently, I experienced my first unrequited love, I suffered and suffered, and now I fell in love so much that the person to whom I had feelings faded into the background, although I feel that I still like him ... I absolutely cannot control myself and do not understand what is happening, I think about him all the time, and when I am visited by thoughts that nothing ever will, my hands drop and I don’t want to do anything ... He has a girlfriend, but even if it’s stupid, I’m waiting for them to part. When I see them together, tears drip themselves ... When I went to a concert and saw I caught myself thinking that it would be better if I didn’t see him, because this made it even harder. I didn’t communicate with him and I don’t know what kind of person he really is, I can’t look into his soul. But what is available to people , it amazes me. He is perfect for me. I know that there are no ideal people, but he has those qualities that I have never seen in any guy that I am looking for and that I need, in addition to his character, he is insanely handsome, never I have never seen anyone more beautiful. He is talented, handsome and has a rich inner world ... and this is just a devilish composition for me ... This is what hooked me in him, and I don’t know how to get rid of it, this has never happened to me

Psychologists Answers

Hello Nastya! In the life of young girls - it often happens we all fell in love with artists, singers, etc. This is a world of fantasy and imagination. Return to reality, consider young people who are directly next to you and not an inaccessible fortress. Your singer has a girlfriend and most likely not one, the stars idolize themselves and they don’t even consider ordinary people to be people. Do you need to suffer? Of course not, so look at your young man who, as you say, you still like. You don’t know this singer closely, how can you argue about his qualities if you haven’t communicated with him. Return to real life and forget everything, then you will also laugh.

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Hello Nastya.

Falling in love with a singer is not a problem. This is part of our life. Many people go through this.

Surviving unrequited love is also not a problem. This is part of our life. When we begin to realize - it happens in different ways. And we learn to cope with the fact that our love is not noticed and just rejoice at the fact that an opportunity has appeared in life - to love at least like that.

But when these "not problems" begin to interfere with building relationships with others, feeling confident, enjoying life, developing - this is already a problem - when all this starts to slow down and causes the thought that happiness does not shine for you.

“I didn’t communicate with him and I don’t know what kind of person he really is, I can’t look into his soul. But what is available to people amazes me. He is perfect for me.” are your words. And I think one of the clues to the problem is in the first part.

You didn't communicate. So, your whole impression is based only on the perception of the stage image and on the perception of how this person looks (behaves) next to someone.

It is clear that when crossing the threshold of an apartment, plunging into everyday life, each of us shows a lot of everything that is not shown on the stage. And every actor, singer, musician, in everyday life behaves differently than on stage. And, although the main character traits remain, all this is perceived differently.

Nobody knows - you will marry a musician or an economist or a representative of another profession. But for sure - you can fall in love with such a person who really concentrates in himself those qualities that are very important to you. And the more these qualities are important to you, the more difficult your relationship will be - your dependence on this person-quality.

Or - from their self-esteem, which almost always falls next to such an ideal. Sometimes they fall in love precisely in order to feel their shortcomings and their weaknesses. But why? And what to do?

I think the answer is obvious - the more confident you are, the more professional, independent - the easier it will be for you to survive parting, meetings, and most importantly - the more likely you will be able to meet and fall in love with another confident and reliable, worthy kind person who can and will be your partner in family relationships.

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“In our society, celebrities have become like drugs,” says American psychologist James Houran. “They are right next to us. Now obsessing over them is as easy as shelling pears.”

Remember how even ten years ago the walls of the room of every second schoolgirl were hung with posters of Bill Kaulitz, and the boys at breaks drooled over the poster with Alice Milano? Now these boys and girls have grown up, someone has already got their own families, but the star idol has not gone away, he just transformed. Bill Kaulitz turned into Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston, instead of Alice Milano now Scarlett Johansson and Emilia Clarke, and dreams from the desire to be near and hug under the starry sky grew into desires not so innocent. Stop denying it, each of us has the same (or the same) screen image that makes the room hotter, and you want to unbutton at least one extra button.

Why are we so drawn to celebrities we'll never meet?

It is believed that celebrity culture has arrived quite recently, along with the beginning of the era of media content. With such a manifestation of the cult of famous people, humanity really encounters for the first time, but the mechanism that gave rise to it is much older and goes deep into the prehistoric period.

Blame evolution?

Our psyches have been adapting to the environment for thousands of years in order to survive at any cost. From other breeding animals, we adopted a culture of dominance (“the main one who is stronger”), but it did not fully meet our needs. People quickly learned that sometimes not only someone who skillfully turns bags can be useful to society, but also someone who does not differ in physical strength, but, for example, knows what herbs to treat a cold. And they began to respect not only the strong, but also the smart. Honor and respect bring with them the desire to imitate. A respected person becomes not just the savior of the village, but also a role model - they are drawn to him, they strive to be like him. This allowed future generations to learn from the experience of their elders, and not to think of re-inventing the bicycle.

This is how our brains have worked for thousands of years. People used legends about great wars/wizards/wise men so that the younger generations would have role models. In the long run, this helped us survive and come to the society that we have now.

But this played a cruel joke on us. Never before has mankind had such access to constantly updated arrays of information. We no longer listen to stories about the mighty hero from time to time, when a wandering storyteller turns up in the village. Now the hero himself talks about himself in great detail, once again posting a photo of his breakfast on Instagram. We start watching him just out of interest (I want to know how celebrities live), but our brain still obeys the ancient mechanism and cannot just take and give up what has helped humanity survive for centuries. The brain recognizes the authority of this person (which is why we experience meeting them so much). For him, famous means successful, which means revered, and one should strive to imitate him. The brain is ready to collect information, it starts to drag us out, and now we already know everything about the idol that we could get. His work speaks in our hearts, we love everything that our favorite celebrity does. We might even start attending his performances, asking for autographs, and the bravest ones joining in on Facebook (if the idol hasn't got his own manager yet). This brings us pleasure, even if our real life completely satisfies us at first sight. As Houran points out, “the stalker lurks within each of us,” and no one knows exactly when our brains will decide to succumb to the temptation to follow the life of a person who is not part of ours.

Blame the psyche?

And so we come to another reason for our celebrity worship. This time, it is no longer the ancient instincts that are to blame, but a simpler mechanism of the psyche, which, however, also affected our perception of the stars not in the best way. It's about imaginary proximity. Homemade celebrity posts pop up in our news feed mixed with messages from people who are really close to us, and it seems that we know our idol, even though we have never met him. Sometimes we know even more about him than about those who are actually nearby. After all, relatives are not shown on TV, they are not filmed about relatives, they are not interviewed, their movement cannot be tracked by photographs of random passers-by. In a word, it is not possible to collect information about them in the usual way, it must be learned through personal communication. This is harder than just typing a name into a search engine and reading a portion of new gossip. We create his ideal image in our head, assign certain qualities to him, find an excuse for them, if suddenly some actions of a celebrity run counter to our ideas about her. Even if we do not leave comments and somehow contact the star on social networks, we still have the opportunity to follow her life, dream of meeting and imagine ourselves as someone special in his life. Now a famous person is our support and support. It turns out that some stranger, knowing nothing about us, makes us happier with a photo on Instagram than a living person nearby.

Why do people "fall in love" with a celebrity?

Despite the fact that all people are different, and our reactions do not follow exact formulas, it is still possible to identify the main causes. Here is what Stanislav Shuda, a psychologist, hypnologist, researcher of sects, manipulations, cults, says about this.

« The first thing you should pay attention to is the understanding of the concept of “love” by the person himself. What exactly does that mean for him. The word is one - the content is different. For example, parents yell at a child, but they think they love. And for someone this [behavior] is unacceptable. In our case, a person, growing up with a strange understanding of love, perceives a feeling of inspiration and any vivid emotions for love. It is worth mentioning here that “love” for celebrities will be shown by people with a certain set of character traits, strongly pronounced". People with a pronounced hysteria of character are most susceptible to celebrity worship syndrome - these people fall in love so that they have something to brag to others, to feel part of something larger and exceptional. For them, celebrity worship is another way to draw attention to their person. They will be suspicious. They perceive everything globally, exclusively, therefore, the role of an artist is perceived as something personal. And, of course, these people are overly emotional and very impressionable.

The second reason for feelings for a celebrity Shuda calls the projection mechanism.

« The artist becomes the subject of feelings and states repressed into the subconscious or desired. A strong and self-confident actor in the image causes a desire to project all other positive traits onto him. As if a brave "hero" will always be kind and loving, like, for example, dad - who paid little attention. It gets personal, catchy».

Most often, celebrity worship syndrome affects people who, for some reason, have difficulty communicating with the outside world. Outwardly, sometimes quite prosperous, these people do not always receive from society the emotional support that they need. Relations with a star are one-sided, they do not need to be improved, they do not need to be worked on. Some people are so captivated by this love that they dream not only of meeting an idol, but also of having sex with him.

« In this case, sex is one of the most powerful ways to experience life. I explain. As a child, a person was forbidden to show emotions: “Don’t run! Behave yourself!". Growing up, he gets used to a part of his personality - not to show. It is, in a sense, atrophied. But we feel that there is something in us - and we want to feel it, so as not to be emotionally disabled. You can sensitize yourself by skydiving, drugs, any form of behavior that has become obsessively bulging.

Or by attributing to the actor the traits that we want to admire, we make him the only one capable of awakening the metaphorical “sleeping princess” in us. All the same, sex is always bright, emotional, pleasant - people are looking for it. And here, an overvalued idea is added.

Also, "fictitious" love frees a person from responsibility. In a real relationship, you need to work, but here you can love the way you imagined.

Here is the secondary benefit. A good example is that in the absence of mutual love of an idol, one can enjoy the feeling of doom and sadness. This, for some, is a value. (we all remember grandmothers in the clinic, boasting of their illnesses so that they would be pitied).

Also of interest is this point. Any social formation tends to obey the authorities and adopt uniform forms of behavior for the group, as if identifying with something big and strong. Examples of this are football fans, fans of actors, sects and more. When your own personality is not developed, there are no ideals and self-realization - you want to attach yourself to something that is already recognized by everyone and get from the thought - that, allegedly, you have found yourself».

What to do?

In a mild form, we are all subject to the desire to know more about a famous person. Gossip from the world of stars helps to establish communication between ordinary people. Many fans unite in groups and, discussing their favorite celebrity and her work, they receive not only a dose of gossip, but also acquire new acquaintances. Someone finds friends this way and develops relationships with them already outside the sphere of interests. Celebrities inspire us, looking at them, we ourselves become better. Thanks to the interest in a famous person, we can take off and fly to explore other countries and continents, discover new areas of activity, change our lifestyle.

But often the worship of a celebrity takes the form of an obsession and, instead of development, leads to an escape from reality.

Is it worth doing something if a loved one has fallen into such an addiction?
« I think yes. But do not confront directly. Otherwise it is an attack on ideals, on almost religious experiences. The man will fight. Worth showing alternatives - new types of hobbies, options for self-realization; love a person and give him the warmth that he is trying to find there. Understand the reason. What state does a person experience when “falling in love” with a celebrity? Or what he is avoiding in this way. By understanding this, we can satiate his emotional hunger. And in small steps to point out that any celebrity - an ordinary person, not an ideal, can have a bunch of negative traits».

What to do if you suddenly recognize yourself in this article?

« Noticing obsession is already a big step. Without awareness, we can't. You need to ask yourself the same questions: what state do I experience falling into such an addiction? What else can give me such experiences? What am I avoiding - being in an exalted state, looking at a photo of an idol? Am I implemented? Do I have ideals that I aspire to, for which I get out of bed in the morning?»



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