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Odessa slang (jargon, dialect)
Let's talk about Odessa? In films about Odessa and Odessans, Odessa slang is the most touching. "Oil painting" or the expression "What do you want from under me?" - sure to bring a smile.
Repeat what we say in Odessa, “Talk for here” - try to duplicate Odessa slang. I have something to tell you...
27 bright phrases of Odessa slang
- Are you leaving, thank God? Or stay, God forbid?
- I will make you a scandal and you will have fun.
- You're stopping me from being impressed!
- Schaub I forgot you as much as I remember you!
- Your foot has become across my throat.
- Don't hit so hard! You will sweat!
- On you, throw it away! Took and died in the midst of full health!
- What do you want from my life?
- Don't ask questions.
- Don't run so fast, or you'll catch up with your heart attack!
- Are you brainwashed?
- Smile! Tomorrow will be even worse.
- Get your mind off your face!
- You will buy? Or should I forget about you forever?
- Man, why are you leaning ahead of me?
- What a wonderful hip arrangement! (compliment to the lady)
- The place where the back ends its noble name.
- Here you are telling this in all seriousness, without risking anything.
- I'm definitely starting to like you!
- The man got married. Well, sorry for him, of course.
- How many seven will be eight depends on whether we are selling or buying.
- If you think you are not late, then I will tell you, yes.
- Do not persuade me, otherwise I will agree.
- Bikitzer, this bodega has good wine.
- They attacked with all the gammus.
- Take a break from this thought!
- So this is a completely different matter! Two big differences!
Only a few samples of Odessa slang need to be explained, and only because they go in the text without reference to action. That is, there is a need to explain when there is no visibility. And where there is a scene with characters, Odessa slang is completely and absolutely understandable.
- Finish these things for me!
- Listen!
- What is it? (What exactly is the point?)
- Breathe through your nose! (don't be nervous and keep quiet)
- I am ready to listen to your request.
- You were not here.
- Let the parachute go. (let go)
- Are you in a hurry faster than us?!
- Briefs for swimming. (Swimming trunks)
- And won't you feel nauseous? (Do you take on too much?)
- I respect you, although I already forgot why!
- I'm wildly sorry! (polite insolence)
- Does this guy have something to say to me?
- I cannot hear you because I cannot see you.
- Get off the wheel! (Don't point me)
- Shut your mouth, the fillings will fly out!
- All those who are hot in the head, unite!
- Fima, don't comb my nerves!
- Scared the cat with a sausage.
- Do not mine these details!
- Get your goat out from under my window!
“Does she graze badly there?” - I'm not interested in walking with you along the same Odessa!
- You are a figure there, but in Odessa you are nobody.
- Why are you yelling so hard in the middle of the street?
- Otho Cement Carrier. (There is a police car there)
- mentality. (police department)
- Some arrogant touched me with all his hands for here!
- And where are these hands now with him?
- It's already gone. - Speak for the benefit of the poor. (blank chatter)
- Where is the foreign body in the house from? (about an uninvited guest)
- I didn't understand! And what are you suggesting?
- Arrogant, like a traffic cop from a prestigious intersection.
- Don't mess around!
- Get killed with a broom! (Who do I see!)
- Do I know? (I doubt)
- Don't make mine a pregnant head!
- Can you still be adopted?
- Shchaz, ran away! (I do not want)
- I know myself, and you think to yourself.
- You will laugh, but our country has suffered a heavy loss! (about the magnificent funeral of the national leader)
- Well, look at this patriot at my expense!
- And you will have a gesheft. (luck)
- How are you? (how do you feel)
- I didn't understand something! I need it? (extreme confusion)
- What do you fumble in sausage scraps? (A hint of your complete incompetence)
Odessa joke on Odessa slang
The Bundes is full of tsimes! First, I receive three benefits: as an unemployed person, as a refugee, and as a descendant of Holocaust victims. Schaub you so lived! Secondly, there is a good climate, beautiful shiksy and tasty, although not kosher, food. Thirdly, mit compote, I have a wonderful job - I work in a crematorium. Naumchik, we are burning the Germans! And yesterday I watched a program - the countries of Beni Lux. This Odessa Jew managed to buy up half of Europe!
From the dictionary of Odessa slang
- Shiksa - blonde
- The very Tsimes of the situation (Gist; in principle can mean any thing)
- Potz (bad boy, fool)
- Bikitzer (in short)
- Gamuz (crowd)
- Bodega (basement inn)
Ah, Odessa
For a wonderful dictionary - thanks to Ela Myers (I don’t know who the author is, but I found it from her)
So yes!(as a statement), Yes, yes, yes!(as negation) - a universal phrase, the meaning depends on the intonation of pronunciation
Let me pass! — Let the parachute go!
(by the way, a well-known trick to pass through the crowd hysterically squealing: “carefully boiling water” or something like that
Not the same - Two big differences
Look out! — Legs!!!
Note! — Moment!
Take it please - Here you go!
sad expression - Lemon muzzle
drunk - gassed
Knife - Rezhik)) (I like it the most)
Well, you lowered the price! — And you won't get tired?
For free - On the ball
Expression of surprise - Hello to you!
Don't take me for a fool Don't take me for a fraer!
Shut up! — Breathe through your nose!
Disagree - "Why yes?"
Stop doing that! — Finish these things for me!!!
You weren't in line! — You were not here!
Stop pointing me out! — Get off the wheel!!!
I am a member of the orange revolution - I was on the Maidan
What do I have to do with it?! — There is no need to beat questions to the mine!
I won't even move! — Right now, I’ll just stroke the laces on my slippers !!!
You bored me a little - I'm just starting to like you!
Stop talking! — Shut your mouth, the fillings will fly out!
I'm sorry! — I'm wildly sorry!
Taxi - Farah
Zaporozhets - Charlick
Client - Patient
Listen - Listen here!
Problem - Gembel
What is the price - How much money?
I do not understand! — Shoot me in the head!
Microphone - Matyugalnik
Are you the smartest to climb ahead of everyone?! — Make way, the sea, the shit is floating
What's the real deal? — What is it?
Holy simplicity - blue naive
A is the first letter of the alphabet, which often becomes the last in Odessa ...
Bora, get out of the sea! (meaning from the sea)
In addition, the letter<<А>> often begins phrases with a negative connotation.
Ah, the weather! (bad)
WHAT IS HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO poor? —<<Больше ты ничего не хочешь?>>
A SHO IS - the most convincing argument in the dispute.
ADIYOT - idiot, short form - ADYA.
And ITSIN TRACTOR - I imagined.
ANTON (aka APPARAT) is the male reproductive organ.
ARTEL<<НАПРАСНЫЙ ТРУД>> - the work performed by the Sisyphus team.
BANANA (same as Anton see)
BANANA WAM - a delicate form of expression<<Банан тебе в грызло>>
PREGNANT HEAD - swollen from unnecessary conversations.
TAKE AN EXAMPLE ON ME - instruction.
BLADKI - not what you thought, but 1) a dance evening; 2) date.
YOU WERE NOT HERE - a polite warning about a possible conflict.
SEA VIEW AND BACK - depends on intonation: either bad or good.
VITAMIN DE - money
VITAMIN CE - products: salce, beer, wine, meat, etc.
TAKE EYES INTO HANDS - look carefully.
TO GIVE EVERYONE - THE BED WILL BREAK - a saying, like<<самому мало>>.
Ripped YEARS - chores.
GAVRIK - subordinate.
GAZ-URAGAN - the strongest intoxication.
GELEMTER THE GOOD GUY is a clumsy, whose hands do not grow from there ...
GESHEFT - deal, business. GESHEFTMAKHER is a businessman.
NAKED VASSER (VASYA) - it's useless.
HEC is a hot-tempered person.
YES - with an Odessa intonation, rather no.
TWO FUCKERS IN THREE ROWS - a pair of morons who have no equal in idiocy
find.
TWO RUBLES? YOU WANT WELL! - dispute in the market.
TO MAKE SOMEONE FUN - to cause trouble.
DOLPHIN - a corpse found in the sea.
TO THE FUCK KARI OCHI - complete indifference.
JEWISH HAPPINESS is happiness in reverse.
EZh, SAME F - same.
TO RIDE - the traditional willingness of the inhabitants of Odessa.
FOR YOUR COFFIN FROM THE 100-YEAR-OLD OAK THAT WE WILL PLANT TOMORROW - for your health.
ZAY A MENTH -<<будь человеком>> (Spanish -<<будьте любезны>>, <<прошу Вас>>)
SHUT YOUR MOUTH - stop talking.
TAKE - borrow.
FROM -<<из>> but maybe<<с>>…
OR - and then!
HAD TO HAVE - a delicate form of the mat.
YOKALAMENE - among cultured people is used when you want to say
specific words, but you have to be content with only individual letters.
KABYZDOKH is a popular nickname for pets.
EVERYONE - EVERYONE - anyone.
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT - what do you say to that?
JUST THAT CASE - you will wait a long time.
WHAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ON THE FACE - a compliment.
SAUSAGE CUTTINGS - a reproach for professional unsuitability.
ROUND-RUN - in the end.
TWIST THE BUTTON - be self-willed.
BUY YOUR COCK AND TWIST HIM EGGS - leave me alone!
LEMON Muzzle - sour mine.
CATCH WOOF - yawn.
PEOPLE! - the cry of the soul, designed for everyone.
MAMA BENINA is a hospitable woman who is able to accept and warm everyone who
sent to her.
DEAD BJOLI DO NOT HOOM - equiv.<<тяжелое алкогольное опьянение 3-й тяжести>>
TO MY ENEMIES SUCH A LIFE WITH THAT MELIKHA -<<хорошо>> lives in our
state.
YOUNG PERSON - an appeal to a man aged 18 to 70 years.
ON MEDICINES - a threat.
FOR A MINUTE -<<ничего себе!>>
OUR MAN is a Jew.
DON'T PUT YOUR EYEBROWS ON THE FOREHEAD! - do not be surprised.
DO NOT SEE ON TICKETS! - pay the fare.
DO NOT STS IN COMPOTE - TOMATOES WILL turn sour - do not dig a hole for another, you yourself will fail.
WELL! —<<и вы мне еще об этом рассказываете?>>
ABOUT! - one of the most Odessa words, can include almost any
feeling and experience.
WHAT WE SEE ABOUT - the result of life observations.
OYTS is a tragedy in life.
HALF IS NOW LEFT FROM MANI, AND WHAT SHE HAS BEEN! — discussion
appearance.
OTSYM-POTSYM (OTSN-POTSN) - out of place, all of a sudden. An expression indicating
extreme irritation.
OTSYM-POTSYM, TWENTY EIGHT - the next, stronger degree of otsym-potsym.
STOP SAYING - and don't speak; don't talk nonsense.
UNDER HIM THE FLOOR RISES UP - he can barely keep on his feet.
LOOK AT DUKE FROM THE HATCH - go to….
LOST (AYA) - a rude curse.
WORKING FOR A TOILET is a job that only pays for food.
SMOOTH PORRIDGE - talk a lot in vain.
Crayfish - shrimp.
ROGOMET - a native of the village.
SAM is one.
FREE EARS - a grateful listener.
SIT-RIDE - approx.<<расслабься, и не мешай серьезным людям заниматься
deed!>>
BOOBS AND PUSKY - Meat pies or pasties, for the manufacture of which
minced beef was used for this purpose.
DRAIN THE WATER! Stop unnecessary conversation.
SPECIALIST - porter.
A QUESTION IS ASKED - a question arises.
AMONG HERE - in this place. Opposite — AMONG THERE.
SO ON SO - for no reason.
TAKI is an amplifying particle.
GOODS TO THE HOMELAND - return things.
VOKE ON NERVES - to pronounce.
THIRD TOAST - traditional.<<за тех, кто в море>>.
KILL WITH A BROOM! - a pleasant surprise.
ALREADY OR MORE - a traditional question in the market, means: you have already dropped the price,
it is taken into account that the day ends, or the goods cost the same as
in the morning.
FITS MONEY - spend in vain.
A POUND OF RAISINS is a unique measure.
HA - you will tell me.
COLD PHOTOGRAPHER - taking pictures on the street.
WELL LITERAL - nimble, businesslike.
GOOD TO WANT - to wish too much.
CENTRAL LAUNDRY - you can send any complaint there, bypassing the authorities
structures, the result is the same.
The CIRCUS is funny on the one hand, and sad on the other.
THROUGH WHY - because of what?
WHAT WILL I GET FROM THIS? is the fundamental question of philosophy.
FOR YOU TO KNOW - cut yourself on the nose.
MAKE YOU DIE - a universal Odessa wish.
TO YES, SO NO - not quite so.
THAT I SEE THIS THROUGH MY EYES - an oath.
SHA! - quiet!
SHAMIL CATCH - drink up to the squirrel.
SHANETS - a chance, but a small one.
WHAT IS IT? — what's the noise, but no fight?
WASHED NECK - readiness No.1.
GRIND EARS - lie.
SHOB I KNEW AS I DON'T KNOW - I have no idea.
NOW! —<<разбежался!>>…
Y is a letter that many Odessans cannot pronounce.
EXPRESSIONISM is an express train Odessa-Moscow, on which<<сионисты>> went to
the capital of Russia to fly from there to Israel.
THIS IS YOU AT Kyiv GROYSE HUKHEM, AND IN ODESSA - BARRELLY POTs - this is you in Kyiv
a big man, but in Odessa...
I BEG YOU - 1) do not worry; 2) there would be something to talk about (iron.)
I CALCULATED YOU - I found out everything about you
I KNOW? - I find it difficult to answer.
Or will you tell me for Madame Perelman? Is this an elderly person? Laugh twice! This is any ass plug! She is a hundred years old on Saturday, and pioneer bonfires are burning in her ass! Does she not see well? But he hears well. Or did you not see her eyes? So I'll tell you, even her pupils have long taken the form of keyholes.
Everyone knows that in Odessa they like to answer a question with a question. A real conversation between two fishermen on the concrete slabs of the Arcadia beach. — Will you give me a worm? - Do you need a worm?
Two old women met by chance on the street. One another:
- And sho, how do you have your health?
- Oh .. how it has me!
Dialogue on Privoz:
- Mila, are the tomatoes already good, or will they be cheaper later?
An acquaintance, she was supposed to go somewhere by train. My aunt says:
- Wear nice underwear.
— ??? For what?
- Well, what if a person happens ...
Haika the hostess sewed a t-shirt out of shorts!
A phrase to a dissatisfied buyer: "I had that nail on which your grandfather's portrait hung."
Why not when yes?
I saw you walking down Deribasovskaya...
Schaub you vsralys, and water ne bulo!
A very good answer to the phrase: "We don't have money for this."
- This is not the money that you do not have.
Well, why are you sitting like Dunka on a samovar ?!
Neighbor across the fence - to mom:
- Zoya?!
- Ah?!
- Are you home?!
An old Odessa rhyme that Borya and Styopa are actually the same name:
Borya is Borukhis
Borukhis is Tuchis
Toohis is an ass
And the ass is Styopa
Let's visit each other: you visit us for a name day, and we visit you for a funeral!
In Odessa, you would be barely a pots!
- “If you agree that I fry an egg in your fat,
I will let you boil your meat in my soup…”
“Oh, I don’t care, as long as YES…
Shaw I do not like for your intentions. Do you want to become cooler than Yashka Oblique here? Consider local contrasts - download rights - you are not here ...
A friend at work had a colleague named Keniksberg. He was called to the phone only as: "Comrade Kaliningrad, you are on the phone."
At the Odessa Polytechnic University, students called Albert Einstein Alik Odnokamushkin among themselves.
At the shoemaker:
When do you need these shoes?
- On already!
- Well, I won’t do it for you yesterday - come tomorrow after five.
One shoemaker I knew warned customers: “According to the old shoe tradition, shoes that are not taken away until the evening are drunk on drink at night!”
House of life, in his closet sat an old, old Jew. One day, his mother (according to her stories, she was about 20 years old) brought him shoes, he had to glue them on, there was nothing to take to the collective farm ... So the uncle looked carefully over his glasses at the shoes, picked the sole and said: “Madame, it’s time to sell them!”
Since then, in our family, about the thing that it’s time to throw away a long time ago, we say “It’s time to sell it” ...
(An Odessan about a very healthy guy) - Yes, he could easily hold a loaf of bread in his fist and ask others to guess what was hidden in his hand.
Hello, tell me how you are!
“I don’t want to upset you, but I’m fine.
- Here it's time to decide: either you are a Man, or - Girl Natasha!
- Shitty food - dick and mustard. Like meat, but you don't want to eat.
I am sitting at the pier, I watch two fishermen go, I ask:
- And what did you catch?
In response, from one I immediately teach the answer:
- Whale for eggs!
I continue
- And How??
- The bastard left, only mandavoshki remained, but a full bucket! (pointing to a bucket full of gobies)
A neighbor's grandmother spoke of a man who bored her: “Oh, he keeps me in Odessa!”
The inscription on the fence in the private sector: "CURSE FOR GARBAGE!"
Girls from Moscow approach a booth in the center of Odessa where cigarettes are sold.
- Please give me 2 packs of LM.
Window seller:
“The bluish ones are over, only the blushed ones remain, if you want, I can give you this pleasure ...
Chaotically remembered Odessa words:
“Thin as Itzkova’s bitch.
- It's not a beetle that sneezed on the tablecloth!
- so that I don't get to where I was going
- Stupid, like three elephant ass covered with a tarpaulin.
“Dumb as a hundred majors.
- Wus trapylas?
— Bekitzer
— Where are you going?
- Ketsik (piece)
- Sour in a forelock, sour in borscht
- Listen here, listen here
— Fulyugan
- cold in the head
- These are two big differences.
- And what do you know? He/she does...
- "WEYZ WORLD" - similar to our "Oh my God!"
- Do not make me virvany years !!!
— Where are you going?
Do you play this music? (applies to all instruments)
These words don't come out of my mouth!
- Mudebeitsal - eggs (and far from chicken and ostrich ...)
Reaction to the well-known verdict: - EVERYTHING!
“Everything” is when the feet are cold!
In Odessa they don't say: "Scrimp on the market." We say: Make a bazaar!
An Odessa woman made a bazaar and, standing in the center of the courtyard, shares her thoughts with a neighbor:
- I beat it on Privoz, I bought two kilos of blue ones, I’ll make stew ... A kilo of whips: I’ll fry the older ones, and I’ll boil the younger ones for a little one ...
Odessa woman says.
- I once visited Orenburg. We sit and talk nicely. There is a question for me, the answer to which I do not know. Can you guess what I answered? That's right, without even thinking too much, in Odessa I answer the question with a question: “Do I know?”.
Pause. To my surprise, I notice that my interlocutors are patiently waiting for the continuation of the phrase - What is it that I still know?
There was a cafe in Odessa without a name, but the inhabitants of Odessa called it "Chernobyl". It was located under the Kyiv restaurant, hence the apt folk name.
Another nameless institution was located at the intersection of Karl Marx and Karl Liebknecht streets. The people steadfastly called - "Two Charles".
Photo from the Internet
Yes, that's right, this "language" grew out of a legend. Here's what she says. It turns out that the foundations of the "Odessa language" were laid by the son of the Spanish grandee Frenchman Deribas, who arrived from Naples. He is also considered by many to be the first inhabitant of Odessa. According to this legend, Deribas learned the Russian language from the Ukrainian Cossacks. At first, what he learned from the Cossacks, the Frenchman, out of his naivety, sincerely mistook for the real Russian language.
True, as the historians of Odessa write, Deribas was always embarrassed by one fact: many Cossack expressions were often accompanied by the Russian phrase "vigorous mother." What this application meant, the Frenchman did not really understand. However, he probably guessed that it was about some kind of “mother”.
So, based solely on this knowledge, Deribas translated the legendary “Letter of the Cossacks to the Turkish Sultan” into most European languages. Moreover, through his efforts, this masterpiece was brought to the attention of many European monarchs. And it must be admitted that the mournful work of Deribas was not in vain. After civilized Europe got acquainted with the "Letter ...", she immediately saw in the Zaporizhzhya Cossacks the true defenders of Christianity.
However, as follows from the same sources, in the bosom of Deribas's literary and translation activities there were not only roses, but also thorns. He repeatedly received warnings from St. Petersburg that if he did not stop calling European monarchs by mother, he would be immediately expelled from Odessa and sent to his native Naples to his father.
It is very likely that this is how the so-called Odessa jargon originated. Or, if you like, talk. And why, in fact, not? Indeed, let's take, for example, five different languages, and mix them thoroughly. Then we will bring the verbal "solution" to the consistency of wit, and even better, a witty anecdote. Here is a unique Odessa speech for you!
The brilliant Russian linguist V. Dal once, having visited Odessa, said that Odessans, without any doubt, are cheerful people, but they don’t know how to speak Russian correctly. True, he immediately added that Russians don’t speak Odessa either. In short, a draw. In those years, Russians had no advantages over Odessans in terms of language. However, it is also fair to say the opposite.
And now a little philology. A great many beautiful and useful things were given to the Odessa dialect by the Ukrainian language. First of all, I would name suggestions. This is from my own observations. And I often visited Odessa. And even for a long time I found it in the "Pearl by the Sea" and its environs. See. So, as they say in those parts, I have something to say. And here's what I want to say. Sorry for the tautology. During the time spent, I came to a firm conviction: the people of Odessa, for the most part, are busy people.
This is probably why they don’t have much time to look for different prepositions and other interjections. Here are the guys, they don’t think hard about what excuse to adapt to this or that word, just to talk, quarrel or tell something on the subject of marriage.
A real Odessa citizen, as far as I could figure out, uses prepositions wherever possible. However, more often - exactly where it is completely impossible from the point of view of a more or less literate Russian-speaking person.
And here's another feature of the "Odessa dialect". Odessans for some reason always choose the most inappropriate of the two pretexts. Let me back this up with a couple of examples. In this cheerful city, they laugh not “at someone”, but “from someone”, they turn not to “someone”, but “to someone”.
There is always something to miss here. Spectators "behind the theatre", sellers "behind the buyer", wives "behind their husbands", etc. But what often baffled me is that in Odessa they speak not “about someone”, but “for someone”.
For clarity, a small typical Odessa dialogue on the topic of marriage, which is relevant at all times.
Comes, say, in Odessa, the groom to woo:
Bendersky, let's talk about your daughter, I want to marry her.
Have you asked before your wife?
Yes, but I like my daughter better!
Indeed, what is there to talk about!
Linguists say that in German it is best to swear, in French - to declare love, in English - to conduct scientific discussions. But I, having visited Privoz, a chic Odessa bazaar, can confidently say that it is most convenient to bargain in Odessa.
But on Privoz, trade is not a primitive process of exchanging goods for money. Here all the pleasures are in one vessel: at the same time swearing, and a declaration of love, and even a scientific discussion. It is here that I consider it my duty to note the invaluable contribution to the Odessa folk hubbub of the colorful Jewish language.
Yiddish unimaginably brightens the inimitable skill of Odessa trade. And mainly thanks to his original art of oaths and curses.
Of the oaths, as the simplest and most universal, I would first of all name this one: “Schaub I lived like that!”. In the arsenal of Odessans, of course, there are others. True, they are, at least from my point of view, more risky. Well, take at least this one: “Schaub I can’t reach where I’m going!” Or another no less dangerous: “I swear by my terrible beauty!”.
But what struck me the most. Occasionally, after the seller and the buyer finally shook hands, that is, made a deal, their relationship abruptly moved into the next phase. I would call her unfriendly. That's what sometimes happened to hear in the end of the trading process.
Well, sort of like, on the road: “So that I see you on one leg, and you see me with one eye!” And once even this: “So that all your teeth fall out and be left alone for the pain!” It must have been cursed by the dentist. But what a scoundrel! He also did not forget his self-interest.
Another, after oaths and curses, the most popular genre of the Odessa spoken language, according to my observations, is the scandal. Speaking in Odessa, this is something special! In Russian, I will say more: this, without any doubt, is the most beautiful and poetic thing that has been created so far in Odessa folklore, unique in terms of humor.
And what unexpected epithets are used by the inhabitants of Odessa?! How vividly and figuratively they adorn speech! How do you like this episode:
A former citizen of Switzerland comes to Odessa from prosperous Switzerland. Of course, at the set table in the circle of relatives and friends, he immediately begins to praise his life there. However, his tirade is interrupted by a remark:
I apologize, dear Chaim, for taking so long to speak to me for Switzerland. I'd better tell you for Odessa: so, it's you in Geneva - a smart girl, and here in Odessa - barely an idiot! Our standard of living is the highest in the world. Which of your Swiss sharks of capitalism can afford to carry two hundred grams of gold teeth in its mouth? And I beg you, do not make such a lemon face at me.
And further. I have repeatedly happened to attend "banquets" in Odessa courtyards. How considerate and considerate these simple people are at table! Well, at least this phrase, which inadvertently overheard:
I apologize, why did the tsevi fall asleep with their faces right in the cold, lie down in Olivier. And then get cold!
The Odessa language is relatively young. For this reason, there are no epics, legends and other various epics in it. All the most beautiful, bright and holy among Odessans is embodied in a scandal. It is so familiar and ordinary to the mentality of an Odessa citizen that a rare child in Odessa can fall asleep without a scandal. They even say that little Odessans sometimes literally ask before going to bed: “Mom, the scandal is finally with Aunt Sima, I can’t fall asleep!”.
The reason for the scandal can be anything. Well, at least this one:
Rose, how do you like my new dress?
- Sorry, Sarah, I'm in a hurry, I'm not in the mood for scandals now!
Odessa speech is indescribably rich and varied. After all, Odessans have never been embarrassed by some grammar rules: declensions, conjugations, agreements and other cases. Well, I want to highlight the cases in particular. With them in these parts they always acted to the primitive simply. However, you can say and brilliant.
For example, if an Odessa citizen is not sure which of the two cases is more suitable for his catchy phrase, he will not hesitate. Drops both. Well, what's next? That's right, he will act in Odessa, i.e. pick up the third case, probably the most-most inappropriate. But, surprisingly, anyone can understand such a phrase. And what is even more surprising - it will not even require any explanations or, I will say in a scientist, comments.
During the fitting of a suit, the tailor is having a typical Odessa conversation with the customer, a theater actor:
Do you think, young man, the main thing on the stage is the actor? So I'll tell you, no. The main thing on a good stage is a suit. Of course, of course, and you are into it, i.e. more precisely - in it. Because without my style, you, Schaub, were healthy to me, as you were the devil, and you will remain him, that is, him!
And yet I do not want to accuse the inhabitants of Odessa of illiteracy. Especially Odessa women. Or, to be more precise, those of them who were lucky enough to receive a higher education in the humanities. Of course, an example:
Here, for example, on Aleksandrovsky Prospekt, opposite the elite gymnasium No. 1, my mother is sitting on a bench. Son next. By all indications, not a round excellent student. But the boy is round. An Odessan would say: "Look how pink the boy's cheeks are! You can even add a little pale look to them."
It is clear from the remarks that there is a conversation about the Russian language.
Mother! How should I write in the essay: “flycon” or “flacon”?
Mommy, a magnificent Odessa woman with a first-class bust, a graduate of the Odessa philological faculty, instantly reacts:
Well, what do they teach in your first gymnasium?! By the way, for mine, I swear by my mother-in-law, quite good pennies. In short, it was correct to write "pizarek". I don’t know how our professor wrote there, but he always spoke like that.
By the way, a woman in Odessa folklore has always occupied a place of honor. I would even call it significant. But not so much in the sense of significance, as literally in terms of the area occupied by the place. And again an example:
She thinks she has a figure. So I will tell you that yes, but no: she has Fegura. Can you tell her that if the lady does not stop eating breakfast at night, you can then see what she will have in six months - FE or FI? In the meantime, admire so much female beauty at once!
Odessans are simply obsessed with the sanctity of the right to private property. This is probably why the most common word they have is the word "to have." In Odessa they have everything, everything, everyone, and constantly in large numbers. Here is just a tiny selection: “I don’t have time”, “what do you have for me?”, “I had to go to you”, etc. etc. And here is the Odessa dialogue, corresponding to the topic:
David, I had a dream about your wife today.
And what did she have to say?
I don't remember exactly, but it seems nothing.
Then it certainly wasn't my wife. My Rose always has something to say.
Or like this:
Oh, Yashenka! Ours to you with a brush! How are you? They say you are happily married?
Who introduced you to your wife?
No, no, Schaub you were healthy for me, I don’t blame anyone ...
Now a few words about the Odessa issues. As is well known, the rhetorical question has long been considered the pinnacle of wisdom. Remember, this question does not require an answer. From my point of view, the Odessa question is much wiser and incomparably deeper in meaning. He doesn't need an answer either.
But guess what, it's an unanswered question! Today, such questions hanging in the air cannot be counted in Russia alone. But Odessans ask a question in such a way that you can’t answer it in any other way, as soon as in Jewish, i.e. counter question. Here are a few typical Odessa dialogues, consisting of some questions:
Aunt, why don't you get married?
Does anyone take me?
What have you already asked everyone?
A conversation between two fishermen on a concrete breakwater of one of the Odessa beaches:
Will you give me a worm?
Do you need a worm?
Do you have it in excess?
Do I know?
Mr. Kharchevsky, do you know what Kuptsevich threw out?
And what did he throw out that is impossible to find?
Took and died in the midst of full health! Are you going to his funeral?
Who do you take me for? Shaw I quarreled with brains? Is he
Will it come to mine?
Tsilya! Why don't you ask how I live?
- So I'll ask you Rosa, how do you live?
- Oh, Tsilya, don't ask!
Is it true that in Odessa they always answer a question with a question?
- Who told you that?
And yet I want to pay tribute to the inhabitants of Odessa. No matter what envious people say about them, this is an extremely cultured people. Indeed, how could you think otherwise. They apologize literally at every turn. True, Odessans do not pronounce the word “sorry” like all other native speakers of the Russian language. It is clear that they do it in their own Odessa manner - "I'm sorry."
And in this approach to the magic word there is a very deep logic. As far as I understand, in Odessa no one excuses anyone. Here people are extremely apologetic. Well, at least this example:
The patient runs to the doctor and immediately apologizes: “Doctor, I am wildly sorry, but they still told me that only you can help. My last name is Katz. I know yours. Here is the detailed answer:
Alas, Katz, but medicine is powerless here. You have known mine for a very long time, I am a cultured person. And he could say to his surprise: apart from you, this news is known to all, without exception, by Modavank and half of Peresyp. Shaw mine in vain to repeat for them. But for you personally, I will still put a couple of minutes into your little education. No, no money is mine until yours is needed.
I’ll earn them for myself later, when you understand everything and don’t wake up walking through the entire Peresyp anymore. Well, let's continue our higher education. My friendship with Khaya z Derebasovskaya was not in vain. You remember her too. She taught at the gymnasium for 30 years. Well, there are all sorts of favors and different string bags, bags. I know what else ... So I will add to you: a brilliant lady!
No, no, dear, see don’t inflate bubbles from your mouth yet, you can very vividly regret your completely uncultured behavior for this. Well, I was a little mistaken, then the Red Bolsheviks called our gymnasiums, wildly sorry, schools. A shame!!! Is it possible to teach Jewish children something from them? Okay, I won't talk about that shame. Here you are, dear Katz, think not with your head, but with your brains.
I'll add a little rudeness: they think with their heads, and all Jews think with their brains. This is not for you to click seeds on Privoz. Yes, and the matter, I will say, is not new at all. The most honest red communist, although a non-Jew, Yeltsin, has been defending himself with them for us Jews for a long time. Sorry, sorry, I always asked you not to make such a sour face at me. If I said I’ll answer your stupid question, then you know it won’t disappear after me. Ask any Odessa citizen.
Like that's what I'll tell you, my dear pops, i.e. wildly sorry - my smarter. And in conclusion of our brief conversation, I will answer: do not be offended by my smart assumption, you can even say in a learned way - thesis. Yes, yes and no. No, I don’t understand: you must have thought that you are taking money from mine. This is a taxi driver's money-time. For Jews, money is money. Therefore, I will only say two words, since you had information that my surname is also not Ivanov, but only Klugerman, so you were dragging along for the whole Peresyp?
One more fact speaks about the fact that the inhabitants of Odessa are an extremely cultured people. They, like no one else, have learned to elegantly dress a strong word in an intelligent form. Of course, an example:
Do not fool mine with the place where the back ends its noble name.
Or an example of a euphemism: "Fix your tie, dear Fima. Lower, lower, even lower. Oh, right here!!!
Much more can be said about the Odessa language. But I personally have long been convinced that it is incomparably more interesting to listen to him. Beautifully expressed, eat. And it's not just a beautiful word. After all, the fragrant, one might say delicious language of Odessans was born in the kitchen, mixing and absorbing all the tastes and aromas that exist in the world.
Born in the hustle and bustle of the Odessa courtyards, it smells of garlic and nutmeg at the same time. This, however, is not quite a literary language; it is not printed. Nevertheless, with its help, even a dry ordinary recipe, say, ordinary borscht, a real Odessa citizen, or even better, an Odessa woman, can easily turn into a big exciting novel. With many chapters, dozens of characters, a prologue, an epilogue and even an obituary, if it comes to the neighbor's borscht.
And it's just some kind of borscht! But you, you well understand that in Odessa there are many things and more important? It is even hard to imagine how many more funny and wise things can be written by Odessa wits. Or at least tell.
Yes, this is certainly a historical fact: Odessa is a pearl by the sea, a rich city with glorious historical traditions. And yet its main asset, at least from my point of view, is its unique language. To understand it, it is enough just to have a sense of humor, but to speak it, you must at least be born in Odessa.
