Director of the Vladimir dating agency "Me and You", family psychologist, consultant on interpersonal relations Elena Kuznetsova named phrases that will not leave any man indifferent.
According to the specialist, "kneading" should be done immediately on - "lower" and "upper".
1. "You're the best because"...
Any phrase in superlative form that begins with the words: "You are the best" or "You are the best" will have the desired effect. It is important, however, to remember that abstract praise is a road to nowhere. "just like that", you risk. The partner will stop responding both to you and to your requests. So the advice to women is to praise your beloved, but for the cause.
“Everyone likes to be praised. When pleasant words are said just like that, you get used to the fact that you are the best, and this is a priori. Praise in this case is meaningless. So, in order to stimulate the partner for further exploits, ”says Kuznetsova.
The examples are simple. A woman might say, “Thank you for buying me this dress. You are the best man! ”, Or“, did not skimp on a fur coat for me! ”, Or:“ You cook so tasty - you are the best! ”,“ How great you are doing housework - you have golden hands. You are the best!".
Hearing such words, expressed in excellent form and with admiration, a man really feels like "the very best." And when, in addition, they explain to him why he is so wonderful, the representative of the stronger sex, maintain the status of the best and. It sounds a little harsh, but action-oriented praise develops a Pavlovian dog reflex in a man, forcing him to perform new feats in the name of a beautiful lady. The lady, in turn, is important not only to stimulate her beloved to these accomplishments, but also from the end result: “I am a happy woman, because I have you, and you are taking me to the sea.”
Another nuance that is important in this case. Praising a man, a woman needs from time to time at the end of the tirade to carefully translate “arrows on herself”, to say something like:.
“It is important that a man does not get fed up with compliments and does not move to the stage: “I am a star!”. Focus on exactly what: . A beautiful woman needs a beautiful kokoshnik, and you are the same hero who made this kokoshnik for me, because I am beautiful with you, ”explains the psychologist.
2. "You are my protector"
Phrases like: “You are my helper”, “You are my protector”, “You are my amulet” and so on demonstrate the importance of a man in the eyes of a woman and. A man in this case feels, firstly, a “male”. Secondly, he has the thought that a woman will disappear without him, and that his partner needs him, because without him she is a weak and useless creature.
“Hooks must be done, you need to“ anchor ”your man:“ I am your wife (girlfriend), and I think about you, ”explains a specialist in interpersonal relations.
At the same time, Kuznetsova notes that it is not necessary to constantly write the same phrase. With the variability of the text, the meaning should, however, remain unchanged: “I miss you”, “I think about you”, “May you have the best day”.
These SMS, sent at regular intervals, are a kind of reminder of yourself and that a man is important to you. A partner can, but he will definitely smile when reading them.
4. "You are the best lover"
Here it is impossible not to recall Freud's statement that. For this reason, the “lower chakra” is either nothing, or good, very good. The latter is preferable. Praise your partner before sex, during sex and after sex: "I feel very good with you",. “Too much” in this case does not happen, because at such moments yours. And I am grateful to the woman for the fact that she appreciates this “masculinity” of his.
5. Curtseys towards relatives and friends
When communicating with a man, a woman should know his interests and preferences, ranging from favorite things in the wardrobe, hobbies and ending with people he values. So that a lady should sometimes, and his clothes, and friends, and relatives - mother, first of all. A man will be grateful to you for the fact that you respect his microcosm and the environment that enters into it.
If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the email address of the AiF-Vladimir editorial office: [email protected] .
? The fair sex often asks this question.The 10 most common complaints men have about their beloved women are presented to your attention, and this is not about sex at all. Based on previous observations of psychologists and based on public surveys, you can make a hit parade of ten points that will help you find out: what are the most common claims that men make to women.
Of course, any observations and surveys, and even such tops, all the more so, are only a small part of the real state of affairs on the eternal fronts of the war, which is called the “War of the Sexes” and which has been going on for more than one century.
But there is hope that
this hit parade will help a little to make mutual understanding between the sexes easier and bring together at least a small percentage of men and women who are destined for each other by fate.
1. And so, we begin! In the first place of the claims made by all men without exception is female infidelity.
And betrayal in any of its manifestations. Even if it didn’t reach the bed, then, according to the man, the matter has a place to be and it could still come, no matter what the woman would say in her defense. Moreover, such claims are in no way connected with the attitude of a man to his own betrayal.
Most of the male representatives interviewed honestly admitted that they do not consider their betrayal so important if it is temporary, random and does not follow any serious continuation.
What men say about women?
Is there any other opinion on this issue?
Another large (but still smaller than the first) part of the respondents of the stronger sex spoke more categorically.
They are ready to give up intimate relationships on the side, but only if they are sure that their girlfriend is also faithful to them.
The smallest number of men consider it normal to have complete freedom in relationships on their part, but for some reason this does not apply to a partner.
2. In second place were the greed and commercialism of the female.
According to most men, a woman who builds her relationship solely out of selfish motives is flawed by definition.
Most of the men surveyed (including people with medium and high incomes) honestly admitted: "It's ridiculous to take such women seriously! They can only be used."
3. Third place is female quarrelsomeness. The desire to constantly argue and prove one's case, with anyone, at any time and no matter what.
The inability to get out of conflict diplomatically annoys almost all men.
4. In fourth place is female stupidity. And to be more precise, the lack of desire to think, which is so inherent in some women. And there is some ambiguity in this complaint.
Almost all men prefer to deal with smart women, but at the same time they always add: “But, of course, not smarter than me!” or “A man should be smarter by definition, but a woman should not be stupid either!”.
5. The fifth place is revenge. Especially long. Although this disadvantage was only in fifth place, it was named by all men, regardless of age and status.
6. In sixth place was disrespect for the husband's relatives.
Especially mothers-in-law. Most men perceive even the most innocent "pranks" of their girlfriends in relation to their own mothers very painfully.
Moreover, the higher the status and financial independence of a man, the more relevant claims of this kind are for him.
7. Seventh place out of that what men say about women, occupy betrayal and deceit.
It is the betrayal of a woman, as a friend, as a loved one. Moreover, this claim was expressed more by those men whose social and financial status is below the average.
8. In eighth place was excessive guardianship, as well as the desire to constantly teach.
It should be noted that the men expressed this claim with obvious reluctance. However, she rightfully took her eighth place in our ranking. Many men called this claim not as one of the first, but almost all representatives of the stronger sex voiced it anyway.
9. In ninth place, we have settled intolerance towards other representatives of the weaker sex.
The eternal question: Can a woman just be a friend?' is discussed very often.
However, it seems that women for themselves have long answered this question. At least in relation to their men and their girlfriends. Or so think many of the men surveyed.
10. In last place were complaints that can be summarized as follows - the inability to properly manage the household.
This included comments about "oversalted food" and complaints about poorly done cleaning.
And the inability to adequately meet her husband after a long day at work, and the inability to meet guests as it should be (at least, according to the man).
But the claims relating to the intimate sphere, the men almost did not voice. It is difficult to say whether they have become more secretive over the past year, or indeed, every respondent in this area is doing just fine.
Here we have found out what men say about women most often.
Brazenly stolen by me, where I will not say. In short - that's what aunts wrote on one forum about the bad habits of their men. If anyone has something to add - wellcome
Mine sneezes loudly too! But at the same time, he also screams and stomps his feet :) The people around him are very scared and jump straight away from him. How many times did I make comments to him, but he likes it, damn it. He also sits in the toilet for 40 minutes. Take your laptop with you and you won't get it. I'm already dancing under the toilet door. And he somehow fell asleep in the toilet !!! Can you imagine a picture? I was very tired at work, and then I drank a little. I woke up in the middle of the night - he's gone! I went around all the rooms - no! I was even scared. And then I hear snoring from the toilet :) That's chuchundra :)
And he also pokes toilet paper everywhere, as if there is a shortage in the city, and in the car, and in the pocket of a down jacket. I can't shop!
And I weaned my nose picking, you know how. When I saw that he was doing this, she pretended that I was picking too, and then I wiped it on his sweater :)))) Of course, I didn’t actually wipe anything, it’s a joke of course, but it helped :)))) Because he started screaming, fuuuu what are you doing :)))
And I somehow met a guy (28 years old), came to a restaurant, made an order, and he started talking, he spoke like a man possessed, it even seemed to me that he did not have time to take air into his lungs :) And when they brought food, he interrupted the story and began to eat without raising his head (as if I was not around at all :)), and he diligently stuffed everything into his both cheeks and shook his head like crazy. I watched this picture and, in order to stop myself from laughing, I crawled under the table with clenched teeth. Although, probably, he would not have noticed :)) And I also remember how, because of my joke, he rolled with laughter, and it was a bearish rzhach smoothly flowing into silence, i.e. I see him in front of me with an open mouth and rolling eyes, but the sounds are no longer audible, only something periodically similar to a barely perceptible "gyyyyyaaa-ah-ah-ah" :)))
And mine loves to look into the microwave, especially when the grill is cooking and the food is spinning :) It's a joke, he takes a stool, sits down and looks out the window of the microwave, like a movie is being shown there :))
And mine, just don’t laugh too much, pees at home only while sitting (so as not to describe the toilet), and then wipes his penis with a piece of paper, while as if “squeezing out” it like a tube of paste)))))))))) )) Already 3 years together, but I still find it funny))))))))))))))
And mine, every night, at exactly 1.30 wakes up and goes to terrorize the refrigerator. And he doesn’t even turn on the light, he eats everything that comes to hand and doesn’t even cut anything if it’s a big piece (a stick of sausage or cheese, a piece or a piece of meat), and in the morning I open the refrigerator, and there are only nibbles ... And at the same time he remembers nothing, eats everything with closed eyes, as if in a dream...
Hello everyone! and mine is in general a whole problem! it is placed on pantyhose, it’s just awful, he constantly asks me to wear them, during sex he only lowers them to the knee, while constantly touching them and sometimes even forgive me for wearing them sleeping! it's ok pls help! :)
and mine only sleeps in a hat.
I remembered that even before I start cooking, mine tries raw meat, maybe eat half a kilo, then there’s nothing to cook from, as in a joke-Today we have pilaf without meat ... and without rice). Before, I ate raw dumplings , but I don’t do them now, I wrote about this earlier.
Help!!! My husband never throws away anything! I started to audit here, threw out a lot of things, and then I found a box with transport tickets for the last three years. I wanted to throw it away, but he was offended: he said that these were all the tickets he used to go on dates with me and he would keep them forever! He even saved the empty cake box we ate two years ago as a token of reconciliation after a fight! That's the kind of romantic he is. I love him very, very much, but what should I do with all these boxes and papers ???
) And my evening when he relaxes drinking beer .. The degree of intoxication - looks out - Show me the pussy! Well, show me... ooooh! Passes by, takes off his panties - shakes - "Do you want to show you pussy!!" And so the whole evening .. past me right here in the toilet to piss a beer ... and every time he shows me pussy .. In the morning - "OH I'm sick with a hangover !!! I showed you pussy yesterday? YES? " And in the closet every morning like a sheep! looks at things .. and asks - "Where are my trousers ..? Did you shift again ???" the same for a box of socks! DOES NOT see!
And I have one young single person who still invented a funny way to wash socks. Hot water and a couple of spoons of powder are poured into a bottle of water (6 liters), and then the closed bottle is thrown into the trunk and he rides with it during the day. He says that then it remains only to rinse ...
Strange thing, but in antiquity the cult human body was predominantly a cult of the naked male body. Now it's the other way around. You will only see a photo of a naked man in a gay magazine, but a naked woman is first of all beautiful, and then erotic. Maybe the fact is that in the ancient world the penis had magical powers, so it was regularly shown to the gods in order to increase the yield of vineyards. Or that homosexuality in antiquity was considered normal. By the way, who has more beautiful genitals - a man or a woman? But I digress...
On the one hand, women have won - their body is elevated to a cult in the modern world. On the other hand, they lost. Because they have nothing to look at (except for themselves in the mirror). I don’t believe that all the girls I know will wrinkle their noses at the sight of a photograph of beautiful bathers or a naked man sleeping in a beautiful pose. It is unlikely - they will begin to examine the picture as intently as I examine the bathers. After all, something attracts them to the opposite sex, in addition to the instinct of procreation?
Yulia Sonina, editor, 35 years old
In my next life, I would like to be born a man. To finally master the preference, the urinal, drink four times my current dose without suffering a hangover the next morning, and have a penis. Obviously there is something to it. I personally do not know a single man who would like to become a woman. Even if he thinks it would be nice to have a penis a couple of centimeters longer or thicker, he will never give up what he has. Even if the sex ended as soon as it began, and you are up to orgasm, as before the cluster of galaxies Able 2218 (located at a distance of two billion light years from the Earth), he is well done, a hero, he got up. In my opinion, the first glimpses of love for one's neighbor, which are expressed in pleasing a woman, appear in men by the age of thirty. At this age, they stop thinking in one place and accidentally notice that sometimes it is just as pleasant to wake up with a woman as it is to fall asleep. Before that, men have to spend all the potential of love, cunning and sociability on building relationships with their dignity. And I understand them. If we are embarrassed at a tender age by growing breasts, then what stress should they experience at first, watching morning after morning the process of turning a limp lump of flesh of a strange configuration into a solid uncontrollable structure. True, in this form, this body really arouses sympathy and interest. The penis, which has become a phallus, completes the figure of a man. Now everything in it is functional, perfect and, excluding slippers, corresponds to the idea of nature. The man is the aggressor. Of course, there are more than enough aggressive women today, but female aggression from the point of view of anatomy is not supported by anything.
Maria Evseeva, photo editor, 27 years old
I love men for their simplicity. With men, in general, everything is easier - it is easier to communicate, easier to make friends, easier to understand their motives and thoughts. And even when it comes to the beauty of the body, men are much simpler. Think for yourself - a woman, in order to be considered beautiful, needs to work on a whole bunch of parameters: elastic breasts, a thin waist, slender legs, rounded hips, graceful arms, slightly tanned skin ... The list can be continued for a very long time. Men are different! Have you ever seen a man who would be concerned about the fact that he has ugly knees? Thank God I didn't come across them. The only part of the body that all men really care about is their penis. But after all, everything is much simpler with him than with the numerous components of female beauty and sexuality. Because when it comes to sex, most men use the standard scheme: eyes see, hands touch - a man is turned on. All! Imagine how easy it is! A man will never refuse sex just because he is wearing the “wrong” underpants or there is no epilation. And he will not think during sex about whether his hips look profitable in this position. He will just enjoy the process. That is why I love men so much - their body and their physiology in general.
Anush Khanum, doctor, 38
The male member is not such a simpleton as it might seem at first glance. His talent is revealed in the farce genre, which requires a huge amount of self-irony. The penis resembles Gogol's character (it wasn't a nose, oh, not a nose!), who from time to time begins to live a life separate from his master and, moreover, to subordinate his life to himself. From many men I have heard complaints of uncontrolled erections. How they were ready to collapse from shame, standing at the blackboard in the classroom, making a presentation at a conference or daydreaming on the beach. Others, on the contrary, accused their pet of laziness and inaction. At Dovlatov, a woman reproachfully throws to her lover: “Not only did he not stand. He didn't even lie with you. He rolled." And, mind you, they are talking about him as a separate person. This cute object, with the tenacity of a snake-tempter, begins to push immature minds to all sorts of sexual adventures: not noticing anything around, from the time of the first erection to the tomb (whoever is lucky), the man tries to attach the object under any pretext. Here the tail is wagging the dog. And what kind of male power can we talk about when a kick from the foot in the inguinal region can knock out even the most aggressive bighead? Why do they need this turned inside out and absolutely defenseless parody of the female reproductive system?
Unable to withstand the test of two principles of architecture - convenience and strength - it can only participate in the "beauty" nomination. I don't know about you, but it makes me happy. By the way, several of my novels nearly burned out at the initial stage, when looking at the subject I had a wild hysteria. I am amused by the variety - no, not even the sizes - but the forms. Trunk, pointer "To you, citizen, to the left", invocative sign "Kom tsu peace". As well as all kinds of eggplants, carrots, zucchini, petit gherkins and other agricultural products. How can you not laugh? But do you know why I still fall in love? Because, as a rule, a good person with a sense of humor is attached to him.
Elena Tol, sales manager, 35 years old
I really like the male body, the male smell. I love harmoniously built men: straight legs (crooked - do not excite!), broad (but moderately!) Shoulders, developed (but not too!) muscles, large and not short arms, a regular head and neck ... But if I have to choose between a perfectly built man and a man with a belly, I will choose the second one without hesitation. Men with a tummy (small, neat, like my husband's) are my weakness. The tummy is, in my opinion, so touching! Material proof that in front of me is a living person. With their little flaws. It is possible, for example, that he works a lot, and therefore he does not have time to play sports. It is also possible that he likes to eat and maybe also drink. In general, you can live with such a man. And you can have offspring. He will not take a steam bath because of his appearance, disappear in the evenings in a fitness club and forever assert himself. We will cook delicious food and drink together. He will love me.
I do not like very thin men, they make me suspicious. Is he not eating well because he is unwell or too nervous? Or does he not have enough money for food? Be that as it may, I would hardly want to have sex and give birth to a child to such a man. I am not drawn to large individuals with a pile of muscles either - it seems to me that such a man will ... crush me like a truck, literally and figuratively. Suppress my identity, not protect. And full men cause me friendly sympathy, but no more. There is a fat friend in my life, he once actively courted me. A very kind and wonderful person - a soft toy, warm and fluffy. But grown girls don't go to bed with teddy bears.
Svetlana Kolchik, Deputy editor-in-chief, 33 years old
I've always liked hairy men. The hairier the better. In all places. And unshaven. Ideally three days. Hairless (especially on the chest, arms and legs) men seem sterile and inanimate to me. Like a Ken doll, the male version of Barbie. And our life is already too sterile. Shower morning and evening. Antiperspirants, deodorants, condoms, antibacterial wipes. Brazilian epilation. Man in a case. We think, analyze, plan too much. Touching a hairy man is for me almost a return to a cave, to prehistoric times, when people lived by instinct. And the females chose the male not by the make of the car, but by the smell and hairiness. The mane on the body is testosterone. It is strength, basic instinct. But, to be honest, I also like successful men. I find incredibly sexy a man in an expensive, well-fitting business suit, no tie, the first button of his shirt is undone, and from there... Exactly! Dark hair coming out. They signal to me that in front of me is not only a man in a case, but also a man, a male. And I immediately want to unbutton the next button, and the next ... The only thing I do not agree with is the mustache. Kissing a mustachioed man is like kissing a hedgehog. The mustache is some kind of masquerade, a disgrace to Santa Claus. And I love real men.
Ekaterina Chumerina, correspondent, 27 years old
At the age of 13, from the advice of a more sexually experienced friend Masha, I learned that the main thing in a man is not that the suit fits, but that he has ... curved legs. If like a cavalryman, then very well. This means that he is a passionate lover, loves spontaneous sex, can finish a huge number of times during the night and is always ready, like a pioneer. For many years I considered this rule an axiom and did not take straight-legged men for men at all. Confirmed the theory of my first man. His legs were crooked enough for me to agree to lose my virginity with him. Everything converged - Mexican passions, sleepless nights ... Then there were several more bow-legged, but here with varying success: one "wheeled" to its fullest, the other only on holidays and without extreme sports. So I stopped being a hostage to crooked legs, and my attention switched to noses and priests. Everything can be fine in a man, but if the butt is flat, hanging or like a saddle, then he immediately loses 50 percent of his charm. Butt should be like a tough nut to crack! And here even my most eloquent fans will not convince me. By the noses, they say, you can determine the length and shape of the penis (and even the head) of a man. And rightly so - I never missed. Miniature noses, very thin and snub noses have crumbs in their pants. Long, wide, fleshy (within reason, of course) - everything is in good shape there. It’s more difficult with aquiline noses - I don’t know, they didn’t fly. In general, look down and up and you may find a lot in common.
Alena Isaeva, fashion director, 41 years old
It is the hands - and not the eyes, and not the penis, and not the priest - that are the calling card of a man. Man's hands are the way to my heart and to everything else. Size, shape, color - at the meeting they are evaluated immediately, the verdict is irrevocably pronounced. Small, narrow, white, with fingers like miniature milk sausages... What can be done with the owner of such hands? Once I came to interview, in front of me sat a man with small white hands. His fingers were short and slightly crooked. He did not have time to open his mouth, as I realized that I could not be in the same room with this man for a single minute. I was overcome by an inexplicable feeling that in front of me ... a serial killer! Hands are directly related to the character of a man. Small feminine palms - weak-willed, sluggish, petty nature. Overly manicured nails, perfectly polished, with clear varnish - a narcissistic selfish narcissist. A strong, wide male palm, not necessarily with long aristocratic fingers, is sexy and beautiful. The owner of such hands seems reliable, generous, courageous. He's a man. But no less important is how he uses his hands. My friend fell in love with her future husband when she saw him pick up a camera. Recently I met a man who is very interesting and outwardly attractive. His hands were beautiful, with long well-groomed fingers. He invited me to a restaurant, they brought us wine and bread. My companion half-squeamishly took a piece of bread with two fingers, then in exactly the same way - a glass of wine and a napkin. I almost felt sick. I imagined how he touched me - unmanly, suspiciously, with two fingers ... Terribly asexual. A man's hands are not meant to be touched. They are made to take.
What else is there for women to talk about? Of course, about the most important thing in their lives - about men! You have no idea how much women talk and think about men! There are as many opinions as there are women in the world. Each has its own thoughts, addressed, most often, to one, the most important man. There are several directions of these thoughts, the only way, probably, to name the main topic of conversations about men.
There are no real men
The real men have gone! women think. At this time, she does a variety of things - they carry bags home, repair cabinets, plant tomatoes in the country, twist three-liter cans, even put asphalt on the roads. And at the same time, they, gathering with their friends, discuss how difficult it has become for them to live in the world. How can men be, if women have taken away from men almost everything that was previously inaccessible to the weaker sex. Yes, far from all men know how to make stools, repair plumbing, sing serenades under the window of their beloved and give gifts beautifully. Many cannot earn for all family expenses. And there are individual specimens that succumbed to the green serpent. Here I really want to ask, weren't there such people before, in the 20th, in the 19th centuries? Were there not weak, stingy, stupid, drunkards? There were, of course. But were there a great many noble knights? Yes, just like now, there are only a few of them! So it turns out that the men have not died out, they are the same as always. It's just that women have become smarter and more legible, they have learned to formulate their claims, write books and blogs. So there were more conversations, and men - as always.
They are all thugs
It is also commonly believed that women think about men that they are womanizer. All men breathe unevenly when they see long legs, short skirts, and already on the first date they dream about sex. This is not just a woman's opinion, all girls are taught this by their mothers in order to prevent the worst thing that can happen to their daughters. Well, who told you that they are all like that? There are, of course, men with disabilities, but mostly men are just as shy to pay attention to a girl, they are just as afraid of rejection, like the female sex, they also dream of pure and bright love. It's just that women and men have different ways of expressing their feelings. Men are more stingy with emotions, they are more silent than girls, they are more worried about what is happening in themselves, which is why they get sick more often. And all the glances at skirts and legs are caused by a simple interest in the opposite sex.
They need models
By the way, another myth is that men love long-legged, thin, blondes, with a big ... rich world in front. Huge mistake! All men cannot be the same, and many of them love curvaceous, slender women, but with forms. If a man loves his chosen one, then it does not matter to him at all 60 cm in her waist or 65, her breast size is third or first. And about huge breasts in general very often they speak negatively. A loving man can be fascinated by a woman's smile, eyes, the ability to support and understand. But about the stomach and the path to the soul of a man - the pure truth. If a man is full, then he will be more willing to work around the house. He will never go out to dinner at a restaurant where he might meet his wife's charming competitor who can't cook.
They love fools
And the most disgusting delusion of women is that men love fools in order to appear smart against their background. It is worth remembering the bright women who inspired their men to ingenious creations and discoveries. For example, who would Salvador Dali be if he hadn't met a very smart Russian woman named Gala?
Men's opinion
And no less interesting is what men think about women. They believe that women only need money from them, that they are not understood and are not left alone, inventing more and more new things. But this is also a big misconception! Women have greater vitality than men, the ability to survive. And while men think, women do everything to make the family live better. And if we add here a large vocabulary and the number of words that nature intended for them to speak per day (and this is much more than a man), then everything that men call “she got me completely” will turn out.
In general, it is difficult to list everything that women think about men. Men say all sorts of things about women. But both of them cannot live without each other! After all, we are two halves. And in these contradictions and disputes, love is stronger and passion is stronger!
