KVN
PERFORMANCE
TEAM
BREAKING
The hour has come, the clock has struck
And KVN has already begun
Team"Tryam - environmentalists"
Greetings to you all, friends!!!
And why "Tryam"?
Because we are creative, hard-working, clairvoyant (puts her hands up to her eyes like binoculars), youth.
BREAKING
Two planets meet, one another and says:
- Hey, girlfriend, something sucks for me lately.
- And what happened, everything seemed to be fine?
- Yes, you know, people got on me, I’ll probably die.
- Come on ... I had it out - nothing, I survived
BREAKING
STAGE in nature
They go out with backpacks, garbage is scattered on the floor
Oh look what a nightmare! That's how you treat nature! Let's take it all away
Clean up trash
And I'm so hungry, horror, let's organize a picnic!
They take food out of backpacks, eat, throw garbage on the floor
Yes, how much can you clean here!
BREAKING
From the latest biology textbook:
"Plants are very useful - they give off oxygen, which is vital for the combustion of fuel in a car."
BREAKING
Proof. Scientists have proven that the Earth is not round. According to their findings, she's dirty and gritting her teeth...
BREAKING
Almost the entire periodic table was discovered by ecologists in the Kiya River below school No. 12. The table was restored, dried and returned to the school.
BREAKING
Why is it impossible to pick mushrooms in Chernobyl?
They scatter...
BREAKING
The GRINPIS detachment came out against the logging workers, who felled hundreds of hectares of taiga forest with the help of the Druzhba saw. As a result of a short conflict, Friendship won.
BREAKING
One pike asks another:
What kind of gobies do you like - in oil or in tomato?
In oil.
Then we sail to the motor depot !!!
SONG
We came to KVN
To resolve the issue
Which one of us will win
Who will hang his nose.
But in other way
In such cases
We play KVN
Oh, save me, Allah!
Chorus:We want very much
For us to be lucky
But until victory
Still far
We're scared, we're scared
play in KVN
We want to win
Not to lose.
Hey buddy, don't be shy, ask a question
Answer quickly, and do not hang your nose!
Chorus: the same
HOMEWORK
2 grandmas come out to the song
1 b: Hello, Kolyanovna! Where was yesterday?
2 b: I went to a disco.
1 b: What's new to tell?
2 b: Yes, a new trick appeared at the disco: a DJ comes and starts telling a fairy tale, like about a bun, but the meaning is ecological. It is now, they say, relevant, cool that is!
1 b: Well, if it's cool, then tell me!
2 b: It happened today, in a local village that stands between a distillery and an oil depot. Somehow a poisonous cloud rose from them, and even descended on the village. Since then, strange things have appeared in our area, unprecedented, and unheard-of anomalies have begun to occur. Here is one of them:
1. Grandfather and grandmother are sitting on a bench. Grandfather wanted to eat and grandmother goes to cook a bun. He takes it out of the stove, sits down to rest and falls asleep with the grandfather.
Kolobok, taking advantage of this, runs away from home.
2. Gingerbread Man meets a Hare on the way. Seeing him, Kolobok gets scared and faints. The hare gives him first aid. Gingerbread Man thanks him and rolls on.
3. The wolf appears. Threatens Kolobok and takes money from him.
4. A hungry Bear comes out, trying to catch Kolobok. He turns around and runs away. The bear leaves with nothing.
5. Looking around, the Fox appears on the scene. Kolobok liked her at first sight. The fox rejects his advances and proudly walks away.
6. Upset Kolobok goes home. Grandfather and grandmother meet him and calm him down. (Everyone dances with the kolobok together).
Grandmas come out again:
1 b: Something I did not understand what the fairy tale is about? And what about ecology?
2 b: And this is best explained to you by the ecologists themselves!
Ecologists come out and comment on the fairy tale:
Due to the poor ecological situation in the village, irreparable changes have occurred with the animals, for example, the Hare (leaves).
The poor animal fell into the Kiya River, which is so polluted that he was forever brown and smelling of gasoline.
Now Wolf (exits). Animals have to fight for survival and get food, which is getting scarce in the forests, so they start using all kinds of innovative ways to get food and even engage in racketeering.
In winter, more and more bears-rods are found in the forests. This is due to the fact that some of them wake up from hunger, while others are awakened by hunters.
Foxes run around the village, looking for food in the garbage, and they are carriers of a dangerous disease - rabies! Foxes appear very similar in habits to dogs, but are they interspecific hybrids? Maybe fox dogs or dog foxes are already running in our village and forests? Who will show up tomorrow?
And, finally, Kolobok: chemically dangerous dough, runs, jumps, behaves inappropriately. And all why?
And all this is due to violations in nature! All this happens if a person is not attentive to nature, does not protect it. Remember, this will someday turn against all people on Earth.
We want to dedicate today's Friday post to eco-humor.
Ecology is most often spoken of in a negative tone: the problems are too serious, there is less and less time to solve them - where can we joke? But humor has a wonderful property - to penetrate into all spheres of life, including the most serious ones.
We want to say that despite the complexity of environmental problems, we will only benefit if we remain optimistic and positive. We are inspired to act kindly and environmentally friendly by love and care - and these feelings, by definition, have a plus sign.
So, for your attention - a small portion of humor on the topic of nature, ecology, outdoor activities, Greenpeace everyday life - and so on.
***
The fauna of Polissya is very rich. There are up to 16 thousand species of animals here. Some mosquitoes, for example, 15 and a half thousand species.
***
The whale swims around the female and reproachfully says:
- How many countries, hundreds of environmental organizations, prominent political leaders, millions of people - they are all fighting for our species to survive. And you tell me - my head hurts ...
***
Broke the climber's rope. He flies down and prays: “Lord, help me! Save me! Don't let me die in my prime! I promise that if I stay alive, I will never, never climb the wall again, I will forget about the ropes forever! The Lord sees - the guy seems to be not bad. I decided to help and gently landed him on a thick bush - not a single scratch. The climber got up, brushed himself off and went to tie new ropes. He walks and thinks: “Well, what a misfortune, and in the morning all sorts of nonsense climbs into my head. From the heat, or what?
***
A Greenpeace man comes into a room with an artificial carpet and angrily asks the owner: “Do you know how many teddy bears were killed so that you could lay this carpet in your place?”.
***
Hello, is this the Society for the Protection of Animals?
- Yes. You have problems?
- A postman sits on a tree in our yard and insults my dog with his last words.
***
The UN conducted a global survey on the theme: "Please be honest about your opinion on how to solve the problem of food shortages in other countries." The poll failed. In Africa, people didn't know what "food" was. In Eastern Europe - what is "honestly". In Western - what is "lack". In China - what is "opinion". In the Middle East - what is a "solution". In South America - what is "please". In the States - what is "in other countries."
***
Ecologists estimate that water in the Moscow River will cost $100 per barrel in the near future.
***
From the latest textbook: "Plants are very useful - they give off oxygen, which is vital for the combustion of fuel in a car."
***
Lesson in the summer ecological school. Teacher:
- So what does Pushkin's tale "About the Fisherman and the Fish" teach us?
Little girl gets up:
- This fairy tale teaches us that the irrepressible growth of consumption in the modern world will inevitably lead humanity to an ecological and humanitarian catastrophe!
***
In Paris, a man applies to the patent office. He says that he invented a motor for cars that runs not on gasoline, but on water. Checked - it really works. They began to draw up an invention, they told him:
- We can offer you two alternative options - either to issue as one invention, or as two - a motor on water and water as fuel. Are you a fuel specialist?
- Yes, I worked with oil in Saudi Arabia for many years. There, by the way, he came up with his invention.
Why didn't you patent it?
- I have tried. But when I described my invention to them, they also offered me two alternatives: hanging or quartering.
***
Three crocodiles are talking:
- Remember, before the nuclear explosion, we seemed to be green?
- Yes, and it seems that they knew how to swim ...
- Finish the market, flew for nectar.
Well, and a good old and thoroughly bearded joke in which laughter is mixed with bitterness.
Two planets meet, one says to the other:
- Hey, girlfriend, something is not good for me lately.
What happened, was everything okay?
- Yes, you know, people got on me, I’ll probably die.
- Come on ... I had it - nothing, I survived.
 |  |  |
 |  |
Scenario "Environmental"
About ecology - in jest and seriously.
(song to the motive of "The Bremen Town Musicians")
The whole world is in our hands, it is controlled by people.
We want to know now what will happen to the world tomorrow.
We came to you for an hour. Hello. Bonjour, hello.
Everything we tell you now worries us for a long time.
Well, all together. Hang your ears.
We need to listen carefully.
Let me introduce myself: the environmental team of _______________ high school.
"Ekos" (turn the letters)
The Ekos propaganda team presents a modern super-blockbuster based on the fairy tale "Gingerbread Man" - "About ecology - in jest and seriously."
They fly away like a swarm of bees.
Music X-Files
The screen is moving.
it's time for lunch
No meat, no bread
No porridge with milk
grandma:
There is only water and flour
Together:
let's bake - like a kolobok.
But note that at the same time
What is water from the river
the one in which last summer
crayfish and fry died.
grandmother:
Because next to the river
The chemical plant flourished
And poisoned the water with poison
Throwing up capital.
And in flour a terrible secret -
grandmother-
There was a tangle of nitrates in it
Together:
Ugly and dangerous
It turned out to be a bun.
Kolobok:
And pitying grandfather and grandmother
At night I'm baking tears
And rushed off without looking back
Into the dark dark
Scary forest. (background music)
On the run swallowing tears
He ran down the path
Under the gnarled birch
He met an oblique.
The hare was a miserable mutant
And had twelve legs
He was all shabby, three-horned
Hare:
This age, alas, is cruel.
Kolobok:
Eat me soon buddy
Hare: God! with poison pie!
(Runs away)
A wolf and a bun run out.
Kolobok:
Eat me top soon
Look, I'm a bun
Wolf:
If I eat from diarrhea
I will die later my friend
I have so little left
Live in a ruined forest
Don't waste your time
And roll - look for the fox.
After all, as the fairy tale says
The fox should eat you.
I don't envy her
Hurt by people.
Kolobok:
Only at the end of the night
I found a fox in the forest
Scared very very
Seeing her beauty
Very sad girl
In a cucumber coat
The fox wept bitterly
Waiting for the end
And peace that is forever.
Fox:
must eat you, of course
but I can hardly
no teeth and no appetite
trouble with the environment
and almost killed
all natural environment...
you roll home sick
come back bun
albeit bitter but useful
people will learn a lesson.
loss. Well, you're terrible. Everyone runs behind the screen and hides behind it.
Everyone Comes Out: Song "Forgive the Earth"
People of the Earth!
What future do we choose for ourselves?
The disappearance of civilizations
Extermination of plants and animals
We choose
pure nature
Nation health
peaceful sky
Laughter and joy
And suddenly he sighed, as if alive!
And the continents whisper to me:
“You take care of us, take care!”
In the anxiety of groves and forests,
Dew on the grass, like a tear.
And the springs quietly ask:
“You take care of us, take care!”
The deep river is sad
“You take care of us, take care!”
The deer stopped his run:
“Be human, human!
We believe in you, don't lie
You take care of us, take care!”
I look at the globe - the globe of the earth,
So beautiful and dear
And lips whisper: “I won’t lie,
I will save you, I will save you!”
1. We told you a lot,
What is going on in our land.
The birds in the park became frightened,
Squirrels hide from people.
But we want to remind you again
That we have one path for all:
"We are human"! This means -
Let's save the planet Earth!
2. And let the birds sing everywhere,
Spring streams murmur
May there be many berries in the forests.
And there will be schools of fish in the rivers.
May the planet on which we live with you not know grief.
We are human. This means -
Let's save the planet Earth.
We are people. This means -
Let's save the planet Earth.
(song "Blue Bird")
EVERYTHING I HAVE
Music: V. Dobrynina
The world is not easy
not at all simple
You can't hide in it.
from storms and thunderstorms
You can't hide in it.
from winter storms
And from parting
from bitter separation
But apart from troubles
unwelcome troubles
There are stars in the world
and sunshine
There is a noise of foliage
and the warmth of the fire
people have
Forgive the earth
Look, here again black smoke floats in the sky over the taiga
Day and night, under the roar of cars, we crush our earth,
Like we're on a foreign planet
The explosion reared the rock, suddenly the water from the stream left.
Mother Earth, hour after hour, shaking us in her arms,
How could you know where your trouble is
Sorry Earth! We're still growing.
Forgive your children for everything, for everything.
Believe Earth, people will find ways
Save you, save yourself.
Look for at least two thousand years, fly to the farthest star,
And in an unthinkable distance, we are another such Earth
We will never find it anywhere.
The earth is now in the grass, then in the snow The earth, where the dawn is half the sky,
Every day and every hour We are indebted to you,
Forgive the foolish children, Earth
Chorus 3 times
I am talking about the fact that the whole earth is our common home.
I’m also talking about the fact that they want to set fire to this house,
They want trouble to come to us, so that life disappears forever.
The earth does not sleep, and every day
Looking into the eyes of her children
Looks into the eyes of you and me
And you and I can't be silent.
I am talking about the fact that this house is dear to all of us,
Our kind house, spacious house, we all live in it from birth.
I’m also talking about the fact that we must save our house,
Let's prove that it is not in vain that the earth hopes for us.
The theme of ecology occupies, in our opinion, an insufficiently large place in KVN - but still more than in the official Russian media, especially television. Environmental topics are presented in the Russian press more than poorly. As monitoring of publications on environmental issues in the federal media has shown, the state-owned Rossiyskaya Gazeta writes not about the problems and “sick” topics of the country's ecology, but about various international events with environmental issues. The same can be said about federal TV channels. Only the opposition media and the semi-“yellow” “MK” and “KP” periodically try to stir up public opinion and influence the situation in this area, which is objectively very unfavorable.
And here - for comparison - one of the first jokes of the KVN revived at the time of glasnost: - Epigraph: “Oh, how rich Russian nature is in the quantity and quality of waste”(MCTI). Joke from the early 1990s: - Novosibirsk has bad ecology... but it's not Novosibirsk's fault that it is surrounded by Russia on all sides!("June 31" (Novokuznetsk)). In the 1990s, they generally joke about the environmental problems of individual regions: chemical and metallurgical production, in particular, plants in Chelyabinsk, Cherepovets, the production of Naberezhnye Chelny, etc. and how their activities affect the environment.
Since the early 2000s, jokes about the poor state of the environment have begun to take on a local "Moscow" character: KVN players from all regions of Russia prefer to tell the Moscow public - the audience and the jury - about what they think is close to this public: about the state ecology of Moscow and Moscow region.
Particularly enjoyed:
a) Khimki: It just so happened in Khimki that schoolchildren do not study chemistry, it is absorbed from childhood, with mother's milk ...("Own people" (Khimki)); Song about Khimki: I’ll get off at the far station - mushrooms to the waist!(ROSNOU (Moscow)); - Dolgoruky? Yes, Pyotr Alekseevich. - Hello, Yuri Mikhailovich. I want to build a city in the swamps and call it by my own name: St. Petersburg! - Stop. Let's be more modest. Name Byvshebolotinsk, Oknovevropyevsk, Podyadsfinlyandyevsk, finally... Is there evaporation from swamps? - Eat. - Name Khimki!" (“Ungold Youth” (Moscow));
b) Moscow River: Three-eyed perch and carp with a leg, Winged carp and hairy bream... Moskva River, take me with you...(TGNGU (Tyumen)); Yesterday, a cigarette butt thrown into the Moscow River burned 7,000 cubic meters of water.("STEPiCo" (Novosibirsk)); - And what a river we have! Here my grandson became interested in photography - this is how he develops the film right in this river. Beauty!!!(ROSNOU (Moscow)); Yesterday, an experienced fisherman Vasily caught a carp from the Moscow River. Moreover, the fact that this is exactly a crucian, Vasily realized only after the crucian himself introduced himself("STEPiKO" (Novosibirsk));
c) certain districts of Moscow and the Moscow region: Garbage wind, smoke from the chimney, The cry of nature, the laughter of Satan - And all because we are shooting Khrushchev together in the Kapotny area(“Ordinary People” (Moscow)).
However, there are many jokes about such "sick" - especially polluted - places of the Russian Federation, such as, Lake Baikal: - The problem of environmental pollution is being successfully solved: the Katun, the Ob Sea, Baikal - these are the stages of the difficult journey!(NSU), Volga river: - Mosfilm "Volga-Volga" painted. - That's news to me too. In Samara, a pulp and paper mill has been painting the Volga for 20 years, the catfish has already left the river, and with its own feet("SOK", Samara); industrial production and its waste in Cherepovets: Green Party activists took the director of the Cherepovets chemical plant by the gills("Sportivnaya Station" (Moscow).
On environmental topics, like Russian ones, KVN players from other countries, for example, Ukraine, also joke: - Summer is vacation time. For those wishing to relax on the Black Sea, the Ministry of Health will offer a new model of bathing suits with built-in treatment facilities(DGU).
More global problems of mankind - power generation at nuclear power plants, storage and processing of nuclear waste- also reflected in KVN games, although not enough, in our opinion: It is planned to earn $ 30 billion from the storage of nuclear waste, but other, more advanced creatures will rejoice at this money. (BGU (Minsk)); From a meeting with a diver: - The most amazing fauna in the Kursk Sea. - Where? - In the Kursk Sea. Well, that's what the local population calls the artificial reservoir that cools the third reactor of the nuclear power plant.("PriMa" (Kursk)).
The global threat of an environmental catastrophe did not go unnoticed by KVNshchikov: Scientists managed to decipher the message of aliens to earthlings. Earthlings, you are in great danger, do not pollute the Earth: we still have to live on it! (" ChP" (Minsk)).
Food- their quality, composition, degree of naturalness and, in accordance with this - environmental friendliness- KVN workers also did not leave aside.
a) food quality. Leading here McDonald's, which, on the one hand, officially in Russia it is impossible to criticize, because it makes a profit and is lobbied by the world's financial tycoons, and on the other hand, it is the epitome of unhealthy eating. Again, KVN turns out to be the only platform on federal TV channels where you can publicly criticize the quality of the food offered at McDonald's: Advertising: fun and an ulcer - at McDonald's!(Team of the CIS-2003); - Sacrifice, pagan rites, the challenge of Satan. Typical weeks at McDonald's(Team of the Interuniversity League (Nizhny Novgorod)). They joke in KVN about the consequences of food in this “restaurant” for the figure: McDonald's ruined the career of a window thief.("Blender", Arkhangelsk).
Next comes another product of the fast food system - shawarma. While doctors and sanitary epidemiologists are sounding the alarm about the dubious quality and origin of meat in shawarma, as well as its carcinogenicity, journalists either openly ignore these facts, or pass off this culinary product as an essential element of the modern city dweller's diet and an attribute of the modern catering system. KVN is one of the few sources where you can hear critical reviews about shawarma: Attention! Song! Tra-ta-ta, tra-ta-ta, we bring with us a cat, a siskin, a dog, Petka-buffoon, a monkey, a parrot, that's the company ... has become a culinary guide for shawarma sellers. ("Purga" (Khimki))
Belyash and chebureks also get regularly from Moscow railway stations: - For conducting experiments on living people, the Hague Tribunal demanded the closure of the cheburechnaya at the Kursk bus station("PriMa" (Kursk)).
There are whole scenes about unsanitary conditions in the preparation of this specific “fast food”, for example, in the team “Astana. Kz”, but due to the indescribable humor, we will confine ourselves to retelling in words: in the program “Culinary duel”, a shawarma seller from the Kazansky railway station answered the host’s question: “What do you have here?” chases a cockroach running through the product, kills it and says: "It's nothing!".
Next in frequency is the criticism by KVN workers of the quality of food in general, in particular, they ridicule composition of products, including harmful additives: - Hear, men! Help with Fanta! That's it: sodium sulfide, cyclopendranpenhydropenandrene and sodium carbonate, right? With whom is it more fun, with whom exactly?("County town" (Chelyabinsk-Magnitogorsk)); I am a lilac, ripe, garden plum /…/ and I… (a long list of chemicals follows) -marks - together we are NATURAL JUICE!(“Ungold Youth” (Moscow)).
Lots of jokes about Chinese instant noodles and its constituent components: - The third task is the original design of the dish. - I laid out the picture "Mona Lisa" with fruits on the cake. - We also have a picture. This is "Ivan the Terrible kills his son." - But this is Doshirak. - The key word here is kill.("Ordinary people" (MPEI, Moscow))
Another twist on the theme of the ecology of the daily existence of Russians is the quality of drinking water: - Hello, the program "Test Purchase" is on the air. Let me remind you that we do not cooperate with any manufacturer. Today we will test tap water taken from different parts of Moscow. We sent samples for examination, numbering, without naming the area where we took it from. Let's hear what the experts have to say. - All gasoline of very high quality, and under numbers 5 and 7, a very high octane number, can be poured into the reactor.(Team GUU (Moscow))
News Battle!
1. At a drawing lesson, the teacher invited the children to draw a picture on the topic of an ecological disaster.
(a slide with a strange little animal appears)
One girl drew and signed the drawing like this_
The queen gave birth in the night
Not a son, not a daughter;
Not a mouse, not a frog,
And an unknown little animal.
2. In a zoo, a rabbit was thrown into a cage for a lion to be eaten. What happened, no one understood, but the lion never experienced such a shame.
3. When Petya had a pigtail of a classmate in his hands, he realized that the ecology in the city was bad.
4. At a literature lesson, the teacher suggested that the children remake the fairy tale in an ecological way. Here's what came out of it, I'll read out a short passage:
Fairy tale kolobok (print in another document)
5. Everyone avoided people from the village that stood next to the chemical plant, there were rumors that they had leopard colors, after the arrival of the doctors, the mysticism turned out to be an allergy.
6. People who come to us from the city say:
What a good environment you have in your village!
And I answer them:
This is ecology in your city, and we have nature here!
Preview:
Captains Contest!
Shurik comes out to the same music!
Shurik:
When I created the time machine, I was interested to see what happens in the future, what kind of fairy tales are told to children, it personally shocked me (wipes my glasses), I’d better not tell you, but I’ll show you everything and so for 3000 the brother tells a fairy tale to his sister.
(video jumble turns on)
At 1.02 second, the video is set to stop.
Shurik says: now imagine what kind of ecological situation surrounds the poor little red riding hood if she sees such a grandmother (unfolds a poster with a painted wolf grandmother) and does not immediately understand that she is in front of a wolf, she is not embarrassed not by a woolen cover, not by the shape of her face, okay at least I asked about the eyes, hands and ears, everything shows on the poster, the drawing should be funny. Let's look further.
We stop for 1 min 22 sec. Shurik: Well, how can you not worry when you see such a grandmother in front of you, At least you need to connect Greenpeace and achieve the closure of the chemical plant next to the grandmother's house. We watch the video. Shurik: And the girl is still right, so wolves in the year 3000 run through the forest without teeth and swallow food like boas, in general, some kind of boa-wolf.
I can tell you that we are very lucky, and we still have a chance to change the future of mankind, so that children in the future would know that the gray wolf has a click of teeth, and not a toothless wolf with the habits of a python, and that there is a kind, sweet grandmother, and not a victim of an environmental disaster) )) Thank you all for your attention!!!
Preview:
Preview:
Business card (greeting)
Only today and only on this stage will you see the heroes who will save this world from an ecological catastrophe. Meet the team "Operation Y, or Shurik's other adventures" in Maslyanino!!!
Music is playing (last exam)
It turns out that Shurik reads a book after him, as in a film a girl walks and reads the same thing. He approaches and buys a bun without looking. (He holds a book with one hand, she turns the pages). He took a bun and holds it in his hand, a passer-by bites a bun (he understandably does not notice) pulls a bun into his mouth (and it is bitten off) he breaks away from the book
A passer-by tells him: the song is a lullaby operation (Shurik shrugged his shoulders after the words and went on reading) go behind the screen.
When words come in the music, bye bye, the screen moves apart, he sits on a chair and books (or a book on his face to sleep, you can play it no matter how, for example, smiles in a dream or vice versa, the movement of the legs in a dream.)
The Postman from the heavenly office enters the stage (I think that he should be with wings, or boots with wings, interestingly dressed and trying to wake up Shurik to the music (funny about playing)). Finally he wakes up (the music stops), he straightens, wipes his glasses.
Postman: In a loud, clear, slightly intimidating voice, he says: Are you a citizen, Shurik?
Shurik: timidly looking around: No!
Postman: It's strange that we don't make mistakes, but then who are you?
Shurik: Song chocolate hare. () Jumps shows ears on his head
Postman: Looks grinning, then says seriously: Enough, I have a lot to do, accept the telegram
Shurik: where from?
Postman: From there (points to the sky) Shurik looks after him.
Postman: opens the letter, reads: Dear Citizen Shurik, you have the great honor of being chosen to save humanity from a growing ecological catastrophe. Code name "Operation Y". Sincerely, the heavenly office.
Shurik: But I can't do it alone
Postman: In this case, you have already prepared a team
Points at herself and says (Komsomol athlete and just a beauty)
Shurik and that's all?
Postman: well, three more heroes (the screen moves apart) stand three holding hands like in a Caucasian captive (vitsin in the middle).
Shurik: Wow team, they need to protect themselves from themselves.
Postman: Retreat is not where someone should do it.
Stand in a row and sing a song:
In the dark blue forest
Where aspens tremble
Where from oaks-sorcerers
foliage flies,
Grass in the meadow
Hares carried garbage
And while they sang
Strange words:
Chorus:
We don't care
We don't care
Ecology
We will save.
So that not this time -
It's a terrible time
We must always
Protect the earth!
Preview:
Homework
Shurik goes out to the same music to sit on a chair in his hands, the remote control from the TV (a TV is drawn on the screen) turns it on.
A long time ago, when there were no jet planes and helicopters, diving suits and submarines, there were no TVs and even electric pots and kettles, people dreamed that a person could rise into the air and sink to the bottom of the sea, so that the water itself would come home , and the pot cooked porridge without fire. (Soon watch in the cinema, the real bestseller "Russian Folk Tales")
Shurik: switches the channel, can scratch his head, can yawn (there is sound when switching channels)
On air news (music of the news of the first channel)
According to a poll conducted by a correspondent of our program, students are assisted in preparing homework by: grandmothers 51%, grandfathers 29%, mothers 18%, neighbors 1%, fathers 1%. Our correspondent visited the Vasechkin family in the evening.
Dad and son
Dad, what are ozone holes?
Who knows.
Dad, what harm do chem. factory?
Who knows.
Why does it say non-GMO on the food?
Who knows?!
Dad, maybe you're tired of answering?
No, no, son, ask! Who else, besides your father, will explain everything to you? (Shurik grins at this time)
Shurik switches the channel
You can imagine how the grandfather and grandmother lived in their youth from the tale of the fisherman and the goldfish
There is a girl depicting that she washes a frying pan and says: Dear, what do we have for breakfast today?
He is a fish
The girl is a little more serious intonation, and for lunch:
He is a fish
Girl (annoyed already) and for dinner?:
He: fish (affirmative)
The girl screams: Why????
He: yes, because (music is playing, I'm a sailor, you're a sailor, a fish…..)
Shurik laughs, switches the channel:
And we have a fairy tale in a new way Sleeping Beauty wakes up in 3040:
Her: Oh, how sorry everyone in this world is (Coughs, sneezes) What happened here? addresses the prince
He: Oh, my love, you all overslept, the man played a cruel joke on himself because of the environmental disaster, this world has changed a lot, even people have changed
Her: What happened to them?
Him: They mutated
She: how?
Music is playing (Ninja Turtles) (here they can dance a little, depicting how to deal with the garbage of the world, try to play) they appear, she faints.
They run away, the prince brings her to her senses
She: And that the whole world is now inhabited by such creatures
He: there are only a small number of people left, we call them that
Him: X-Men
