It is not uncommon to hear people say that someone has a "bad temper." Someone hears this unflattering epithet in his own address. But what does this definition mean? How to figure out which character is considered bad, and is it bad to be the owner of such a character?
Most people are quite clear about the main differences in temperaments, but clarity disappears as soon as the speech turns to the concept of a person’s character.
The very fact of its presence is considered positive. About a person "with character" they speak respectfully, as about the owner of something valuable. Of a weak-willed, obedient person, we contemptuously refer to "spineless."
Is this statement true? After all, it would be much more logical to call such a person the owner of a soft character. Let's figure it out , what is character, what it is and what to do with it.
The word “character” itself, as well as its related “characteristic”, defines persistent, constantly expressed personality traits, a certain pattern in behavior and relationships with other people. Thus, we come to understand that the source of dissatisfied statements about the character of a person is his behavior and attitude towards other people. It turns out that this issue lies entirely in the sphere of interpersonal relations.
Bad temper: how to understand what it means
Thinking about how to understand a person who believes that you have a bad character, you should first drive away all unnecessary emotions from yourself, free your mind, get rid of the situation and try to look at it from the outside.
Logically, it is not difficult to figure out what exactly irritates the slanderer. These can be both really unsightly features of behavior, and fictitious nit-picking, due to anything: the aroma of toilet water, the color of clothing or the shape of the nose. Therefore, do not rush to correct your behavior to please everyone who is dissatisfied.
Having suppressed indignation, you need to clearly and specifically determine for yourself which, in your opinion, pranks, which are innocent in your opinion, are real shortcomings and require work on yourself, and which of your features show a unique personality.
Consider whether the opinion of others is so important to you, whether the game is worth the candle, and whether you are ready for serious work on yourself for the sake of public opinion.
A lot depends on the specific situation. For example, a tendency to be a little late may be perceived by you as a meaningless habit, and for another person it may seem like a clear sign of disrespect towards him.
Therefore, to the reproach of non-punctuality, the one who has waited an extra five minutes may receive a sharp answer and, quite rightly, consider your character to be bad. The opposite is also true: a despotic boss, accustomed to command, having received a well-founded protest, will also be dissatisfied with you.
On the shaky ground of relationships, it can be difficult to maintain a cold mind. In this case, emotionality is the main hindrance. Don't jump to conclusions about yourself or those around you. Wait until the excitement subsides, take a piece of paper and calmly, judiciously distinguish between the two most important components of communication.
The first part is yourself. How well you know yourself, how clearly you see the boundaries of your inner essence, your real “I”, depends on how easy it will be for you not to allow strangers into the reserved corners of your soul.
Determine the most important values for yourself, something that under no circumstances should be sacrificed to the desires of others. Do not be too strict: like any person, you have the right to change life priorities from time to time.
Put the date on the piece of paper. You will be curious after a year or two to re-read and supplement the resulting portrait.
The second part is your social circle. Here you need to highlight the people most dear to you. People for whom you are ready to make concessions and changes. It's also a good idea to note what kind of steps you expect from these people. You should not allow even the most beloved to exploit your kind attitude.
Only mutual knowledge, respectful cooperation and readiness for mutual concessions will make it possible to create harmonious, good relations with loved ones.
Don't expect quick results. It is possible that you will repeatedly have to rewrite these lists, check internal boundaries and weigh relationships with others. There is good news: this activity is quite exciting and has undoubted benefits both in self-knowledge and in building relationships.
Video on the topic of the article
We are all imperfect and have our flaws. A personal horoscope is able to fully reflect them, because each Zodiac Sign is endowed with not only positive, but also negative characteristics. And according to the Sign of the Zodiac, you can calculate not only love compatibility or a successful business partner, but also a person who is better to bypass.
It is difficult to choose the most unpleasant Sign in communication and in terms of human qualities. After all, what some people consider a virtue, others may consider a terrible disadvantage. Therefore, repulsive traits can be found in almost every zodiac sign - it is only important to understand whether they repel you.
Leo and Taurus are considered predictable in terms of bad surprises by the Signs of the Zodiac. They are quite positive, but, of course, they also have negative sides and features. For example, Taurus is considered to be too interested in the material side of life, simply put - money, the value of gifts and domestic comfort. A lyrically tuned romance may not feel comfortable nearby. And Lions are considered perhaps the most narcissistic Sign of all 12. But do not forget that both of these Constellations endow people born under them with love and devotion to really close and dear people. So everything has a downside.
Faced with a negative manifestation of character, do not rush to draw conclusions. Zodiac signs do not always correspond to a person one hundred percent. We are all individual and do not resemble each other despite the typical zodiacal similarities. There are no two identical people, and who knows, maybe this unbearable Scorpio will become your best friend and deeply lyrical person in the soul in the future. Remember the deceitfulness of the first impression, be open to people and the world and don't forget to press the buttons and
19.11.2015 01:00
Each zodiac sign has both positive and negative sides. One of the negative...
bad character
Alternative descriptionsSame as character
Character
Custom, way of life
Character with kookies
. "The wolf changes its skin, but not..."
. "The wife does not beat, but under her ... leads"
. "Substitute" character
. "And a wondrous look, and meek ..." (songs)
. "The nose is crooked, and ... wrong" (last)
. "Characteristic" synonym
. "A hot-tempered one... can't be cunning" (last)
Brykasty character
Violent at the brawler
Hot-tempered... can't be cunning
mentality
Gentle...
Meek at the Quiet
Tough or meek
Cool character
M. in general, one half or one of the two main properties of the human spirit: Mind and disposition together form the Spirit (soul, in the highest meaning); to character are treated as the concept of submission: will, love, mercy, passions, etc., and to the mind: reason, reason, memory, etc. The consonant union of character and mind, heart and thought, forms harmony, perfection of the spirit; the discord of these beginnings leads to decline. there can be no such discord in an animal: there the temper and the mind, the will and the mind, are merged inseparably into one in wake-up calls (instinct); and a person must achieve the same unity, but in a higher way: by persuasion, curbing passions and cleverness, consciousness of duty. The general expression of the properties of a person, the constant aspirations of his will; character; disposition is quiet, meek, violent, steep, etc. this means. human disposition: natural, inborn, natural, since everyone is born with certain inclinations, disposition; and developed, conscious and revived, as far as a person has managed to harmonize his heart and thought. The same property of an entire people, population, tribe, not so much dependent on the personality of each, but on a conditionally accepted one; worldly rules, habits, customs; Bol. dialect morals. As long as the Koran is the basis of the entire life of Muslims, until then their bestial customs remain unchanged. Animal manners, wake-up lifestyle. Good in temper, but worthless in stubbornness, one-sided stubbornness; here temper is taken in general meaning. his own, and tempers, the same word, in private and bad. He came to me or came to my liking, according to custom, according to taste, according to desire. There is no need for temperament, there are different customs. Everyone works to their liking. You won’t please the female disposition (you won’t lose it). girl's temper obliquely closed. As if everyone liked (the bride), so the kingdom of heaven would not be necessary. Like, pertaining to temperament. Equal difference, moral. What you like, what you liked, pleasant, pleasing, desirable. An equal cause is not a dispute; there is no dispute about tastes. Do you like the groom? common question for a bride. What anyone likes, then it's funny (and then it's nice). Not what is good is good, but what is good. Wayward, skittish, stubborn, bizarre, headstrong, hard to please. Goodness. the property or state of being liked. To like someone, to love, to find yourself to your liking, to your taste, to take a fancy to. He liked her, found her in his thoughts. Like, please, love, please; come to your liking, to your taste and desire; to fall in love with someone, to seem. I liked this cloth, I like it, I liked it. The mare liked the belt whip. Moral, opposite. bodily, carnal: spiritual, mental. The moral life of a person is more important than the material life. Relating to one half of the spiritual life, the opposite sex. mental, but constituting a common spiritual principle with it: truth and falsehood belong to the mental; to moral good and evil. good-natured, virtuous, good-natured; consonant with conscience, with the laws of truth, with the dignity of a person, with the duty of an honest and pure-hearted citizen. This is a moral person, pure, without reproachful morality. Any self-sacrifice is an act of morality, good morality, valor. The Christian faith contains the rules of the highest morality. The morality of our faith is higher than civil morality: the first requires only strict observance of laws, while the second puts conscience and God as a judge. The spelling cf. description of mores, customs, way of life, kind of life of the people; ethnography. Narrative, ethnographic. The moral writer m. the moral writer f. a person who describes the life and life of the people. moralizing cf. the doctrine of morality; moral philosophy; any honest teaching, instruction for good, especially as a conclusion, a conclusion from any case, story. Dry moralizing bothers children. moral teacher m. moral teacher f. giving teachings, instructions. Instructive, instructive, instructive. compelling interjection, urging: go, go; don't be silly, take it easy. Yes, come on, come on! Well, falcons, uphill! All well, yes well, but there is no one to pruknut. Well, why are you silent? That's enough, leave me alone, step back, get rid of it, don't hush it up. well, you, they say! Well, it doesn’t go, the bird is out of luck. You, well, I, well, but there is nothing to leave. Well, yes, well, but he himself is out of place! Fuck it, no. Interjection. threats, challenges. Oh well! strike if you dare... well, more! well, come on! Well, get down! Well, I'm you, wait! Interjection. scolding, cursing. Well, you, get off, get lost. Well, to hell with all of you! Interjection. astonishment. Well, brother, you threw out the thing! Well, this is a horse, so a horse! Well, how tired I am! Well? full, right? Union close in meaning. with interjection. let's start, let's start. Here he is, well, beat him! new friends well cuddle, Krylov. Sib. eh, what, what, what do you need? call response. The union of persuasion, encouragement, etc. Well, it’s enough for you to be stubborn. Well, please, for me. Union of consent or concession: perhaps, yes, so, okay, good, I’m listening to the sowing. and east. Come tomorrow; "Well". Bow to yours! "Oh well!" Sometimes particles are added: in, se, so-and-so, etc. Well, well, all right; well, go ahead, perhaps. Well then, look, remember. Well, well, how angry, oh-oh! Well, well, well, a challenge to what; you, the current ones, come on! Griboyedov. Come on, come here! Well, what to do with him, let him. In many cases, well can be taken both for a union and for an interjection, for example. Well, no matter how I ripen, the trouble would be! Well, tell me, I'll listen, sometimes, well, it only strengthens, confirms: Well, look, don't miss it! Well, of course; well of course; well, here's more! Like a shout to the horses: well, go, go, or: do not be naughty! Ptru, ss, stop; this s-with the opposite. urging whistle and smacking. Bullocks are driven: gay; right or handy sob, left or furrowed sabe, and stop with a smack, compelling for horses. Come on, come on, come on, but in many ways. nute, nutet-ka, nute, well, come on, take it, do it, well, whatever. Come on, get down to business. Nutet-ka, take it buddy. Well, come on, come on! Well, people are threshing, and we are well, pounding castles! nukat, nukat, nukik, urge, compel, force, drive, rush, drive, encourage shouting well! Knock on him that he is exactly sleepy! We poked, poked each other. There is nothing to nukat, and you will bring it yourself (do not rush). What you nuknesh, then you leave. Nukat nukay, but you wouldn’t have to ptruk. You don't nuknesh, and you don't leave. They nukali, nukali, but they began to pruble, hurrying, they spoiled the matter. You can't force a trot out of this horse. Donukalis to what they have become. Hooked up again. They got tired of driving, they got tired of urging. They exhausted the horses, and exhausted themselves. We are still enjoying ourselves. Goad him more often, goad him instead. They urged, and they began. They blew the whole race. Vish, got divorced! Nukanie cf. action verbally, urging. Nukalshchik m. nuklshchitsa f. nutnik, nutnitsa (nudnik?); nukala about. urged, urged, urged, who encourages or urges, urges, urges. Our mistress is such a nutcase that the seamstresses have no rest from her; and the master, the storyteller, has a nukala assigned to him so that he does not doze off. Nutnik, yarosl. lower and other cattle driver, cattle driver. You can't save yourself from nutnik cases
human nature
nature, character
Not the best character
unimportant character
An undertrained steed who is ready to take on his tricks
custom, way of life
Custom, way of life
Animal habit
Behavior
natural character
Warehouse of the soul
obstinate character
The sum of spiritual qualities
Same as character
The same character
Heavy character
Way of life
Common way. life
way of public life
Obsolete character
Obsolete1 synonym for character
Obsolete synonym for character
Character
Character (obsolete)
Character in Russian
Character with quirks
Character with kookies
Person's character
human nature
. "there are no such herbs to recognize someone else's ..." (last)
Detectives have a gloomy look and gloomy ... - what word did V. Vysotsky mean
The nature of touching the keys when playing the piano
Character, a set of spiritual qualities
. "The wife of her husband does not beat, but under her ... leads" (last)
. "The wolf changes its skin, but not ..." (last)
Obnoxious character
The nature of the shrew
custom, custom
On the female ... you will not please
Lifestyle
. "and forgiving ... my absurd, bequeathed a black ring"
Way of the soul
The innocence of a child
. "her meek... was known to all"
. "His exuberant... was known to everyone"
Behavior
soulful image
. "Her meek... was known to everyone"
. "There are no such herbs to recognize someone else's..." (last)
The detectives have a gloomy look and gloomy ... - what word did V. Vysotsky mean?
. "the nose is crooked, and ... wrong" (last)
. “The wife of her husband does not beat, but under her ... leads” (last)
. "substitute" character
. "hot-tempered ... there is no cunning" (last)
. "The wolf changes its skin, but not ..." (last)
. "characteristic" synonym
. "The wolf changes its skin, but not..."
. “and a wondrous look, and meek ...” (songs)
. “the wife does not beat, but under her ... leads”
. "and forgiving ... my absurd, bequeathed a black ring"
. "her meek... was known to all"
. "his exuberant ... was known to everyone"
Very often a person realizes that he has a bad character, but he cannot help himself. Only at first glance, it seems that it is not difficult to re-educate yourself. In fact, it is necessary to make considerable efforts to cope with those character traits that do not like and irritate not only oneself, but also others. Many give themselves the installation to start a new life from a certain date, but they cannot restrain themselves and “break down”, all attempts to change themselves end in complete failure.
Ways to deal with yourself
1.
Set specific goals for yourself. For example, you want to get rid of excessive temper by the beginning of summer. Do auto-training, read special literature, give yourself small gifts for achieving certain results. The main thing is to clearly understand what you want to achieve from yourself. Do not overestimate the bar, the goal should be achievable, only in this case you will be able to slowly but surely move towards it.
2. You can’t force yourself to be kind and caring in an instant. And if you haven’t called your relatives for several months, it’s not worth suddenly annoying them with your attention every day for a week. It will quickly bother them and you. Everything must be done gradually. For example, in the first month, you communicate once a week for 5 minutes, then more. You will not even notice how you will enjoy finding common ground and topics for communication with people.
3. Reward yourself. If you have overcome a problem, try to mark this moment by going to the movies, cafes, shopping for sweets, etc. Nothing is more encouraging than your own success and the reward for it.
4. You should not "break" yourself completely. Each person is an individual, with their own good and bad sides of character. Sometimes it seems to us that everyone should be perfect, but, alas, this is impossible. Leave yourself some zest in memory of a past life, learn to use it for good.
5. Try to understand the reasons for your bad temper. Perhaps you do not like your environment, uninteresting tedious work is annoying, colleagues are annoying. In this case, you need to change not yourself, but the environment in which you are.
6. Engage in an analysis of your own and other people's actions. Such self-digging and comparing your behavior with the behavior of others usually gives good results. As a result, you will conclude that “Yes, I’m not as bad as I thought, there are people much worse than me” or “Yes, my actions are not very good, daily work on myself is necessary.”
7. Sign up for yoga classes. This philosophy will help you understand yourself, understand your character, realize whether there is a need to change or is it just your speculation. In addition, yoga is very relaxing and calms the nervous system.
8. Try to attend group classes, where you inevitably have to communicate with a large number of people. In order not to become a "white crow", you will have to change something in yourself. In such a situation, it happens intuitively and painlessly.
9. Perhaps the problem is age, and your condition is associated with changes occurring in the body. Then you can seek help from specialists who can help you by prescribing corrective treatment.
10. If all else fails, accept yourself for who you really are and stop worrying about this question.
Most of the time, we create our own problem. In fact, there is no need to do anything and change. People cannot be the same, each of us has the right to our own opinion and mistakes. The main thing is that your bad character does not cause a headache for the people around you.
"He got angry and didn't want to come in"
Anyone who had the opportunity to study the paintings of the artist Pepton could notice that one of the reasons for their special beauty is a special technique of art: next to the beautiful, put something disgusting. For example: in the picture you see wonderful flowers, birds, knights and ladies, winged fairies and children of angelic beauty, and suddenly somewhere in the corner, or right under their feet, some ugly form of a toad, lizard or sticky slug is drawn. The purpose of such a connection - according to the law of contrast - is to give even more beauty to the beautiful by comparison with the ugly. In ancient architecture, this law of comparison was also applied. Some kind of vulture or dragon (fabulous animal) on the pediment of the temple, surrounded by angelic faces, gives a special beauty to the pleasant architectural and sculptural forms surrounding them.
In many gospel descriptions, such a contrast is especially visible: here are the twelve Apostles, but one of them is the devil; The Lord Jesus on the cross is regal and pure, and on the sides are thieves; in the fifteenth chapter of Luke, from which our text is taken, is one of the strongest descriptions of the death and restoration of the prodigal son. Whose heart has not been moved to tears by this simple story? And suddenly, as if at the feet of this picture, a black thundercloud is placed - the bad character of the eldest son, the brother of the returned prodigal son. Read again Luke 15:11-32.
Considering sin not in its theological meaning, but in the way it is encountered every day, we see that it is of two kinds: a sin of the flesh and a sin of the mood; or, in other words, sins of lusts of every kind and form, as well as self-love, and sins of character. The younger son is an example of the sin of lust, while the older son is the sin of character.
At first glance, it seems that the black cloud in this parable is the youngest, the prodigal son. It was he, after all, who trampled on all the virtues and covered himself and his parental home with disgrace. More than once this fugitive from the parental home, in contrast to his brother, who remained at home, has already been pointed out as the embodiment of all the worst that can be in a person's character. It is possible that such an opinion is erroneous. It is possible that the older son is worse than the younger. We judge sins, like most things in this world, by their appearance. We weigh the vices of our neighbors with the scales that the society surrounding us has established for this; We put the grossest sins at the foundation, then we put the less disgusting ones higher, then the even less obvious ones higher; by some strange process, the scales are effaced and, finally, seem to disappear completely, leaving a mass of sins without definition, without weight, without a name, and without any indication of their danger. But we humans do not have weights for weighing sins. Some we call heavy, others light, but these are all our words, not God's. It is very possible that the so-called minor sins are the most serious. The very fact that the world sees gross sins so clearly makes one doubt that they are the worst. The subtle and invisible sin, which is closest to the spiritual life, should be considered the most humiliating. Meanwhile, society does not even have a name for such sins, they seem unimportant to it. The sin of the elder brother is, in the opinion of many, something ordinary; he just got a little angry, it's not worth talking about it much. He was just in a bad mood for a while.
Let's see what a manifestation of mood is. It is important enough for the Lord to talk about it. The elder brother, hard-working, patient, diligent in everything that concerns duty - let's say all the good things we can about him - returned home after a long work in the field. For many years now he had returned from the field every evening with a tired body, but with a light heart, because he had done his duty every day, and his forehead was covered with the sweat of an honest life. How often a man is able to imagine that his responsibility for his character ends when he honestly does his work. But a man usually falls into temptation when he least expects it, and this temptation easily reveals his whole true nature. That evening, when the older brother was returning home, he heard joyful noise and singing. Such jubilation is something new on such a lonely farm. "Your brother has come," says the servant, "and for this they slaughtered a fattened calf."
His brother! Here is happiness! How long they all mourned for him! How a father should rejoice, because so many prayers were offered up for him in his house! Thank God, He heard the prayers and returned the lost one to his native roof.
But no, there is no joy on his face. It all turned into a threatening cloud. “Yes, brother,” he complains, “a tramp! You say that they slaughtered a fattened calf for him? This is more than they have ever done for me. I will show them what I think about this jubilation. virtue! Here I lived all this time, did not leave, and they did not pay attention to me, they did not show honor, and this boy came running from the pig trough - and for his sake they convene the whole district!
"He got angry and didn't want to come in."
"Ah, child!" - I would like to exclaim, looking at him. But there is much more to this breakthrough of character than just a momentary mood. That which had long nestled under the cover of his virtues and, perhaps, had been there all his life, broke through in the form of a thundercloud. Thundercloud! The refined gases of many sins gathered together at the moment of such a mood and now scourged his soul with feelings of indignation and malice. Envy, anger, anger, cruelty, pride, lack of love, pouting, resentment, discontent, self-righteousness, bad mood, irritability at every word, stubbornness - all this, mixed into one, makes up a bad character. This is a fair analysis. But how often do they even laugh at it. "What about him?" - "Yes, just like that, in a bad mood, - they answer, - he got a little excited. Nothing, it will pass, just found a cloud." But after all, a cloud is made up of drops, drops make up an ocean - self-willed, causing much harm when it suddenly breaks through the fence. In life, this is also an ocean, but it is made up of drops of envy, anger, pride, disfavor, cruelty, self-righteousness, puffiness, resentment, grouchiness, discontent and perseverance, which are hardly noticeable in themselves. When these drops merge, they turn into a formidable destructive force.
That's why a bad temper is so important. Its significance is not in what it is in itself, but in what it reveals. If this, the latter, did not exist, it would not be necessary to pay so much attention to a bad character. This is a bursting fever, which indicates a continuous illness within. This is an occasional bubble popping up on the surface of the water, indicating rotting below the surface of the water. A breakthrough of character is like the fruit of the inner life, which comes out unexpectedly when we are temporarily awake; there, inside, it is full of such fruits. In a word, this breakthrough testifies to the accumulation within many vile sins that should not have a place in Christianity.
Leaving the definition of a bad character, consider the character itself. The first thing we notice, to our great surprise, is that HE LIVES INTO A PERSON WITH IMPROPER BEHAVIOR IN GENERAL. The older brother was undoubtedly a man who was guided by high principles of life. Some time ago, when my father divided his estate between them, he also had the opportunity to live his part as he liked. He, as the eldest son, got most of it. It seemed that the time had come for him to see the world, to enjoy life and at least for a while to have fun after the monotony of home. But he chose the life of a man who understands his duty to his father. His native hearth will be his home, the same old people - his society. He will be, as it were, the right hand of his father and will delight and encourage him in his advanced years. In this way he became a model of industriousness for servants, an example of thrift and fidelity for neighbors, an indicator for the whole country of what a young man should be. Such decency stood out especially in comparison with the behavior of his vagrant brother.
All this makes one doubt whether everything is virtue that is considered and called it? We do not have the ability to accurately determine the spiritual weight of someone who figures as a model of all virtues. It all depends on what motive guides a person. Virtues may be true or only apparent, just as vices may appear but not be. Some people, though corrupted within, are kept from giving in to evil only by cowardice. They do not even have the power to become outside what they consciously remain inside. After all, this also requires courage, and they do not have it. Then they decide to secretly live one life, and the other openly, for the sake of people. Therefore, it often happens that very low people outwardly retain the appearance of virtuous ones. Conversely, souls of amazing inner beauty are often found among the fallen. There is no doubt that it is much more pleasant to meet the prodigal son and spend an hour in conversation with him than with his pure brother. We have met more than once with those over whom the society has already delivered its final guilty verdict, and, to our surprise, we found an amazing sensitivity and nobility of motives. If someone considers this unimportant, it only shows that it has not yet been revealed to him what sin is. To evaluate those who have sunk completely to the bottom, it is necessary to look not only at the external, but also at the motives; sometimes in such cases it is absolutely necessary for evaluation.
Not infrequently those who "sow to the flesh" regard their sins as nothing compared to the inconsistency and shortcomings of those who say they "live according to the Spirit", as, for example, one who does not consider it a special crime to get drunk, despises himself for some ungenerous act. or an ugly word. One sins high in his spiritual state, the other sins at the very bottom of his low spiritual state. How does the Lord view such sins? Here is His answer: "Truly I say to you," He said to the chief priests and elders, "that publicans and harlots are going into the Kingdom of God ahead of you" (Matt. 21:31).
There are two kinds of sin: the sin of lust and the sin of character. Few give themselves to both, but many suffer from one of them ... This explains how it is possible for a seemingly virtuous life to be combined with such a strong bad mood. It is this combination that makes the sins of a bad character seem so harmless. "It is unlikely that much evil can dwell in this person, if there is so much good in him," we reason. Talking and gossiping people are often said to be the epitome of kindness once you get to know them better. It is often claimed, in order to justify someone's nasty outburst, that he or she is capable of showing amazing tenderness when in a normal mood. And by this they try to justify the accumulation of evil in the recesses of the heart. It is this justification of evil that makes curing bad temper so difficult. We justify the bad display of our character at times by the fact that we; in general, good. "Whoever is so kind, it will not hurt him if he sometimes acts badly" - such is our pernicious philosophy. Correct judgment would draw a different conclusion: kindness can only get better. "Dead flies spoil and make fetid fragrant suit of myrrh" (Eccl. 10:1). Let this fly be small, but why have even a small fly in the fragrant suit of new life?
Bad temper is the vice of the pious. The Lord's word about the eldest son refers to the righteous, and it is not said to make the bad good, but to make the good even better.
Moving on from describing these particular sins and their relationship to spiritual life, let us now describe the influence of sins of a bad nature. This influence is twofold: on reason and on the moral or religious nature of man.
As for the first influence, some have even argued that it is beneficial to have such a character. It was assumed that the excitement that creates such a character helps in work and thinking. But is this not an excuse for evil? The eldest son caught fire with jealousy for justice - so he might think, but no one else thinks so. It is very possible that later, when he came to his senses, he condemned his behavior, but the evil had already been done. He said: I will not go into the house. Neither his father's persuasion, nor his, perhaps, his own awareness of the rudeness and stupidity of the act (in spite of everyone standing in the yard) could make him change his mind. Such is the effect of a bad character on the mind: once a decision made and expressed thoughtlessly under the influence of a bad inner impulse makes a person insist on it and come up with all sorts of excuses, because sin does not come alone, but entails a host of other sins. Thus, a bad character destroys the correct activity of our mind.
One of the consequences of such an act, in addition to the harmful effect on the perpetrator himself, is a destructive effect on others. The perniciousness of sins of a bad nature is that they have a particularly bad effect on others. And usually weak and inferior people suffer from this. Outbursts of a bad temper are usually allowed by the elder, and all below him not only must endure their blows to the heart, but must bury their personal understanding and dutifully serve what, in their opinion, is often a whim. Instead of reasonably obeying, they are obliged to prevaricate, just to please the ruler, even at the cost of hypocrisy and servility. The upbringing of children and young people in this way, in particular, becomes distorted from the very beginning. The consequences of this often remain for life. Those who have been corrupted themselves tend to do the same to other subordinates, and the evil continues.
But another depravity of a bad character is manifested in moral and social evil. Reading the Gospel, you are surprised how much the Lord did and taught with one goal - to make a person happy. How many times has the word "blessed" been heard from His lips! He taught that the purpose of our lives should be to serve others for their good. Holiness, of course, is something higher than happiness, but we cannot produce holiness in others. And we can bring joy. There are many directions in Scripture on how to make others happy. For this, God has appointed each of us "to his brother's watchman."
The communication of people among themselves and the organization of society is the desire to make people happy, while a bad character is a tool to destroy this happiness in people.
Look again at the older brother in the parable described by Christ, how he spoiled the joy and happiness of everyone around him with his unjustified irritability, outburst of bad temper and rudeness. Of course, he, firstly, spoiled everything to himself. Maybe later he realized his act and calmed down, but experience showed that something much more needs to be put in order inside a person than just agitated feelings. For example, prayer is delayed: a person cannot pray until bitterness is removed from the heart; he must first forgive the debts of his neighbor, and then ask the Lord to forgive his own.
See also what impression his act made on his father, on the guests, and even on the servants. This scene in the courtyard cast a shadow over the entire joyful assembly. But there was someone in whom such an act of a brother responded with particular poignancy, this is the prodigal son, his lost, repentant brother. You can imagine his experience. With what feelings he went home! HOME! He walked with the consciousness of his guilt, and every sympathy inspired him, and every disgrace struck the most tender strings of his sore heart. Such an attitude, and whom? Brother! Did he make a mistake? After all, he came to find peace at home. If this continues, wouldn't it be better to leave? After all, it is much better to live with calm pigs than with a violent, self-righteous brother.
How often do we drive away those who come to the door of Christ by our attitude towards them! The church is not spiritual enough to win over souls in favor of Christ. How little true love is still among believers! We pay much attention to the development of our faith and hope, but we forget that love is greater than them. Until both home and outsiders can say that each of us "is long-suffering, merciful, does not envy, does not exalt himself, is not proud, does not act outrageously, does not seek his own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things," until then our call to Christ will have little effect on others. One repulsive believer will drive out ten prodigal sons. The love of God for sinners is amazing, but the longsuffering of God for believers with a bad temper is a mystery!
What is especially unfortunate about a bad temper is that it is of no use. Some negative influences sometimes lead to good results, but this character is just grief. Nothing in this world causes so much prolonged, unnecessary and offensive suffering than he. Therefore, the sentence of the Lord is so inexorably strict: "Whoever offends one of these little ones who believe in Me, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and drowned in the depths of the sea." The absence of love is usually tempted by "these little ones." According to Christ, it turns out that it is better for a person not to live than to live and not love.
By its very nature, a bad temper is a sin against love. No matter how obscure it may be, and no matter how hard anyone tries to explain it simply by the weakness of the mood, but it is so that there is no greater sin against love. A sin against love is a sin against God, for God is love. Whoever sins against love sins against God, Who established it as the basic commandment of the new life and Himself manifested it in the Son.
"But isn't a bad temper something innate? It's just inherited, it's just inherent in the family and is an integral part of a person, isn't it? Can this be changed?" - so some ask, and many think.
The study of this sin to its very foundation will lead to the path to its HEALING. Christianity professes power to heal everything. The healing process may be slow, the discipline may be strict, even cruel, but the job will be done.
Yes, healing is possible. If there were no remedy for this great disease in living faith, Christianity would not be considered fit to meet the needs of human life.
What did the father do in this parable to appease the bad mood of his eldest son? Note that he did not immediately prove anything to him. To do so is to commit a grave mistake. It is useless for both the warner and the beneficiary. We can be quite sure that all behavior is wrong, but that won't help us one iota to fix it. The mood depends on feelings, and therefore the father first of all turned to them. Reasoning has its place; and the son was given strong evidence of the wrongness of his behavior, as evidenced by the last verses of the parable, but before that they tried to influence him with LOVE.
"My son," said the father, "you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours." Take these words apart and you will see in them what people talk about so much today. They have Liberty, Equality and Fraternity - these precious symbols with which people have tried to organize and protect governments and kingdoms. "Son" - this is freedom; "you are always with me" - this is brotherhood, unity, "all mine is yours" - equality.
If anything is capable of calling a person to cast aside his interests and his self-love, then it is precisely this formula of Christian brotherhood and unity. Let us take, for example, the equality: “all that is mine is yours.” If a person is satisfied with everything that God gives and is ready to give the last to his neighbor, then the temptation to material egoism disappears. God created people equal. He gave us everything, and this should move our hearts to meet all those in need.
Trying to get rid of all evil passions on your own is a waste of time. Who among us has not made up to a thousand decisions to get rid of everything, and then saw how all his good intentions shattered into smithereens at the first temptation? The inner man will not be corrected only by the destruction of all spiritual acids, but the soul must be filled with still new content - the love of Christ. O great love of God.” It produces a great change, as if chemically dissolving everything impure and filling the inner man with a new fragrance. If a person is filled with it, his healing is completed, but if he does not do this, his situation is hopeless.
The New Testament describes a character that is difficult to understand, this is the unmerciful servant in Matt. 18:23-30. For his extravagance, his wife and children were put up for sale in order to pay off a huge debt, and he himself had to go to prison. On his knees, he begged the king for mercy, and all ten thousand talents, a debt huge and impossible to pay, was freely forgiven him. Having just experienced such a great mercy, he goes directly from the king to his friend, who owed him a relatively insignificant amount of one hundred denarii, takes him by the throat, strangles him, and since he cannot immediately pay the debt, drags him to prison, which he himself had just escaped by the grace of another. How can a person, having just been forgiven and freed from the terrible debt of sin, rise from his knees, go directly from the face of God to torment others with cruel words and bad deeds?! It's just incredible. There is no doubt that this slave, by wasting money, also wasted his soul. If there were any soul left in him, his forgiveness would be followed by love.
Being forgiven in many ways, it seemed that he should have loved much, and not out of duty, but simply out of the natural desire of the heart. He SHOULD become more gentle, more humble, more generous, more brotherly. Rooted and affirmed love should grow in him endlessly until it embraces him all. Only then would he be able to understand the meaning of his father's words: "All that is mine is yours." The world is his, but he will not spoil his own.
Such love replaces bad character. Without her, he reigns, no matter how you destroy him. He will not let anyone into heaven, because a person with a bad character cannot be in the presence of a Holy God. No wonder the Lord said that whoever is not born again, from the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, cannot enter the Kingdom of God.
Such a person cannot be in heaven. The sky of friendship is closed to him, because he always spoils it when someone allows him closer to him. Even the heaven of the family hearth is inaccessible to him. He may be married, have children, but there cannot be a heavenly atmosphere at home: his bad character expels her. The same applies to the wife and mother. Even the church is bad for a bad character. Everything is wrong with him: either the preacher is not pleasant, or the method of work in the church is disgusting, or singing is not to his liking. The only favorite pastime is to judge everyone, to suspect.
"I got angry and didn't want to come in." He is the first to be punished. When the prodigal but returned brother rejoices, he remains in the courtyard. All sins spoil the image of God in man. The sin of a bad character spoils the image of God, and the work of God, and the mood of the culprit and all others. May the Lord save us from it!
