In each new team, the presence of people who are both friendly and negative is possible. The desire to find a common language with colleagues is an important and difficult task for a newly arrived employee. In order to painlessly join the team and not get into the “sharp language” of intriguers and brawlers, it is better to prepare a little psychologically in advance. The first rule for adapting to a new territory is that it is very important to know what to talk about with colleagues at a new job.
How to find a common language with new employees?
When starting your duties at a new job, there is always an anxious feeling of how much you will be able to join a new team, which has its own established rules. Not everyone immediately manages to be part of a close-knit team without problems, which is not always ready to accept a stranger into its ranks. In order to avoid negative shocks, it is better to tune in in advance to a positive outcome of the acquaintance and be patient and have the necessary information.
It would be useful to take a closer look at the environment
Taking a closer look at who is who would be the most reasonable decision for a beginner. At first, it is better to look around than immediately engage in lively conversations and bold statements. At first glance, it is certainly easier to assess what moods are hovering in the team, what kind of atmosphere. It will not be superfluous to listen to what tones the conversations take place in, what jokes the employees make. It is worth first finding out the rules for eating, whether it is possible to dine in the company or employees have a snack strictly in order.
Not only the manner of behavior, but also the style of clothing can say a lot about a person. Therefore, it is important to be able to dress accordingly, since special efforts to dress up in a new team can lead, to put it mildly, to the disapproval of colleagues. If the company has its own requirements for appearance, then this simplifies the task, the dress code does not allow you to get out of the big picture. Compliance with general rules is usually supported by the team. If it is not possible to find an approach to colleagues, it would be nice to pay attention to the leader among them and try to find contact with this person respected by the team.
Don't be in a hurry to make friends.
From the moment you arrive in a new environment, it is better not to limit yourself to the goal, to merge into the environment. At first, the main task was and is to perform professional functions, and only then to establish friendly contacts. Keeping a distance for some time, you can understand who among those present deserves attention and it is worth “building bridges” with him, and it is better to abstract from someone. Of course, during this time, the observation of colleagues from the outside will bear fruit, and the elders themselves will begin to be interested in the newly arrived employee. And looking at professional abilities, diligence and perseverance, they will awaken respect for a new colleague.
But corporate events should not be ignored. At events of this format, in an informal setting, you can learn a lot about new employees. However, you yourself will have to be subject to close scrutiny by colleagues. Already after some time, having worked in the new organization, part of the staff. Surely they will be able to appreciate the professional and personal qualities of a beginner and accept him as one of their associates. Now it is not difficult to choose friends by interests with whom it will be pleasant to be in the same workspace for many hours.
Basic principles of proper communication in a team
Discomfort, uncertainty at a new workplace, under the critical eye of senior management and employees - all this is already in the past. The first stage of infusion into the new team has already been completed, it remains to find a common wave so that communication with colleagues can easily and impartially proceed.
Turning to someone for help - this tactic will allow you to disarm any "enemy", recognition of high professionalism will be pleasant to everyone who surrounds you at work. Being interested in an activity, asking for advice or help is an easy way to start a conversation first. Do not forget about moderation, for example, to fulfill someone's request is good, but helpfulness causes negativity and disgust.
Addressing a colleague with a smile will show a friendly attitude towards him. Do not be shy about your true attitude and charm, there is a desire to smile, give a smile to an employee. If you want to impress the staff with your culinary skills, you can bring some kind of treat made by yourself, for sure they will appreciate it.
If you decide to stay at a new job for a long time, then you will have to get along with the new rules in the new team. Just do not try to please everyone without exception, this is simply impossible. The desire to adjust will be akin to falsehood, and will not give a positive result. It is not necessary to break yourself for the sake of someone, it is better to be able to show yourself as you really are, then the respect of colleagues will be more real than feigned.
Video on the topic of the article.
anonymously
Irina, hello! I have a situation that, probably, many have encountered, but personally I can’t figure it out. I am 21 years old, I am a 4th year student, studying in absentia. 4 months ago I got a good and interesting job - a specialist in the corporate department. The work is connected with the organization of conferences, seminars, symposiums, corporate holidays. But despite the fact that the work is interesting and very developing, I go to work like a catarrh. There is absolutely no relationship in the team. There are 4 people in our department and all women, I am the youngest of them. Every day I listen to the fact that I can’t do anything at all, that it’s even scary to leave me alone in the office, and that I’m generally a worthless employee. By nature, I myself am a very closed person, I can’t answer such “jokes”, I hold it in myself, and then I come home and splash everything out on my husband. As a result, I became completely nervous, brought myself to the point that I did not sleep well at night. I do my job well and it seems that there are no complaints from the boss, but at the same time she (the boss) supports me in every possible way. There is no one to ask for advice, because everyone says out loud that I am still young and I need to endure this. But when you endure a month or two - it's not scary, but when it lasts 4 months, it starts to bother. How can I deal with this situation? How to learn to ignore such attitude towards yourself? How to behave properly in it?
Hello, I already answered you last week, didn't I? I remember that I suggested that you write to me which of your colleagues bothers you the most, and from whom you still feel both sympathy and support. Try to somehow differentiate the attitude of these people towards you - and your attitude towards these people. Who do you like there, who causes tension and disgust?
anonymously
Hello! There was a situation when we had one person on sick leave and the three of us worked, we had lunch at different times, that is, with a colleague from 12.00 to 13.00, and for me from 13.00 to 14.00. When it was time for lunch at a colleague’s, the boss was about to leave with her, then my colleague began to be wildly indignant that you see how I would stay here alone, because I don’t know anything and can’t. I tried to explain that I could handle it, but she continued to say that I just couldn’t be left alone in the office, I would definitely ruin everything. This girl is very friendly with our boss, so she listened to her, and put a person from another department with me to work with clients. Another colleague, Natalya, loves to talk about the fact that I don’t know how to communicate with clients at all and that I always say something is not right (they don’t let me go to meetings alone, although I already work decently), so I always go with someone When we go with Natalya, she does not allow me to insert even a word, because she believes that I do not know how to correctly express my thoughts and formulate answers to questions. Natalya also loves to somehow comprehend my appearance, I'm not terrible, I just have my own personal complexes and apparently she felt them. I don't want to say that I'm the smartest in the department, but I'm the only one who gets a higher education, since one is a former waitress, and the second is someone's protégé. The boss basically does not pay attention to me, nor any encouragement. It seems that he doesn’t scold, but most likely he doesn’t scold, because I can say that I don’t work, I just sit out the time. I just feel superfluous in the department, and it seems that I don’t want to change my job, but I don’t have the slightest desire to go to it ... How to deal with this situation? And learn to put a person in his place?
I sympathize, the way you write about relationships with colleagues is really painful ... And it’s a shame that like this, completely without trust in you .... You write that you are completely not allowed to show yourself in this work, which doubt your abilities, but at the same time you write about it. that you want to stay in this job. Then it looks like there is something in this job that you like? What do you - despite the difficulties in relations with colleagues - still hold on to7 And then what is it? Will you tell me?
anonymously
This work itself is very interesting, organization of various conferences, corporate events, communication with customers of various social levels. When I first came to the interview, I immediately liked this position and the salary is not bad. But when I got a job, I hoped that I would work as I was told, but it turns out that I don’t do anything from what was told to me ... In general, sometimes it seems to me that I am not a specialist in the department, but the secretary of his boss - "bring it, give it, leave, don't interfere!". Every time in the morning it’s like hard labor, although at first I was always in a hurry to go to work, it was interesting ... Now I often think about changing jobs, I just don’t want to “cut off my shoulder”, so I decided to contact you. It is useless to talk to the boss, as she always says that she has no time. And soon my session will also begin, they already told me that it would be better for me to hand over everything in advance, since there is no way to let me go, but to be honest, it’s not clear why, because I still don’t do anything. Do I need to change something in myself? Or is it better to look for a new job?
Yes, it’s very, very sad when the work is interesting, but the team - namely the relationship - develops so uncomfortable ... To leave - well, yes, but it completely kills the opportunity to change at least something ... Tell me, how do you feel What could you really do well? Here is some small, but completely independent task from your functionality - in what way can you be sure that you would do such a task well? Will you write to me about it? And about "change in yourself" - according to my feelings from our correspondence, you are only doing this - that you are trying to somehow "attach" yourself to the patterns of behavior imposed on you - isn't it? Or do you vocally - at least sometimes - resist what is being said about you and what you are being forced to do?
anonymously
Of course, it is difficult to evaluate myself from the outside, but it seems to me that, in principle, I have no difficulty in doing any work ... At least in terms of my feelings and capabilities ... I always take work seriously, if I have been assigned a task, then I must do it well so that there are no complaints, I generally try to do it so that they don’t tell me any comments later, because otherwise it will be another reason in the team to talk about me ... They will say make a booklet for the mailing list, I can do it for several days , but I’ll make sure that I don’t have to change anything after that ... They will tell me to send out a newsletter to former customers, I will sit and do it carefully so as not to miss anyone ... Most often they give me such work to do ... When I was put on events , I tried to ensure that there were no delays, so that everything went according to the scheduled time, without a hitch ... And it seems that the boss praises the words, and then the higher bosses call in and scold that they say I just sit out the place, this after all, they don’t take it from the ceiling either, so someone walks around and complains ... But about whether I can stand up for myself out loud, then no ... As if at that moment all the words are forgotten, like a sponge I sit and absorb ... Just brought up so that you should not enter into conflicts with people, it is better to remain silent ... You will look smarter ... How to properly respond to calls to superiors? Is it worth getting into arguments with colleagues?
People communicate in order to reach mutual understanding. But this doesn't always work out. It takes some effort to find a common language. Why is it easier to communicate with some people, and almost impossible with others? The answer is simple - it is the presence of common ground. If there is something in common with a person, then the process of communication and mutual understanding is easier. In order to eliminate disagreements, it is necessary to find the reasons that gave rise to them. Only when they are discovered is it possible to achieve mutual understanding.
Without common sense, all moral rules are unreliable.
Nikolay Ivanovich Pirogov
Important in the art of communication is the ability to listen and understand what the interlocutor is talking about. After all, it often happens that a person listens, but does not hear and, accordingly, does not understand what they are talking about.
In order to make it easier to understand you, it is necessary to explain your intentions, your views and desires, and sometimes explain how this opinion came about. Such openness will help avoid misunderstandings and conflict situations. Honesty is the right choice during a conversation. But honesty should not serve as a weapon to humiliate an opponent. It shows that you respect his position while explaining yours.
Factors that can hinder or help communication
Very often the cause of disagreement is political, religious or moral views. Often, extraneous circumstances can influence the conversation: an unfavorable moment, character, mood, and so on. Listening while speaking is an important skill. If you show the interlocutor that you are listening carefully, you can win him over and thereby demonstrate education and the ability to conduct a conversation, understand and help him express his thoughts. In addition, depending on the type of communication, you need to choose the right manner of communication: tone, words and gestures.
There are two types of communication: formal and informal:
- Formal- this is communication with people who are either completely unfamiliar to you, or known superficially.
- informal It's talking to people you know.
Often during communication, slang words, nicknames, offensive things and abbreviations are used. All this can negatively affect the outcome of the conversation. It is correct to use a polite manner of communication.
There are many simple words that leave a lasting impression and build interpersonal connections. "Good afternoon", "thank you", "please", "excuse me" should be in the lexicon of any cultured person. Their use should take place not only in a circle of unfamiliar people, but also at home.
Properly chosen words, showing attention to other people's opinions are components of a culture of communication.
Simple Rules
There are simple rules for finding a common language with any person.
Why is it difficult to find a common language with a colleague? You have probably heard the saying "Two boots - a pair." These words contain the answer. Indeed, it is much easier for people with common interests to find a common language than for those whose principles and views are of a polar nature.
Remember your student years: excellent students are busy with their scientific affairs, and guys who are less worried about a score in a diploma hang out in clubs and discos.
Of course, they are all people, and probably both types of students had fun celebrating the holidays and sitting up to night reading textbooks. But still, the priorities are different on both sides and it is very difficult to find a couple of good friends, whose representatives would be like from different “student segments of the population”. It is the same in the team - everyone is grouped into "circles of interest."
Sometimes a colleague who, as you think, comes from a completely different galaxy, easily finds a common language with another person, and with you he has a mutual misunderstanding. And it often happens that it is difficult for a difficult colleague to find a common language even with the whole team.
The reason lies in different views on life, work, ways of thinking, sometimes erroneous opinions about each other. But you need to adapt.
How to deal with a "difficult colleague"?
First, you need to understand that "difficult colleagues" are different. Some are overly aggressive, while others, on the contrary, cannot be pulled out at gunpoint, the rest generally spread gossip.
First you need to understand what exactly is the root of the problem, what is the difference. In the phrase of the usual greeting “Hello! - Good afternoon!" Obviously there is no problem, but what happens next? Surely the conversation is about a topic on which you and your colleague have different views. Notice where the thread of trust breaks. It is on these words that your paths diverge.
Avoid this stumbling block, bypass it with such accuracy with which hundreds of years ago ships bypassed the treacherous rocks. If discussions cannot be avoided, then develop a calm attitude towards any words of a colleague.
He is also entitled to his opinion!
If you internally convince yourself that you do not care about his views, then your verbal reaction will be different. You will not defiantly cross your arms over your chest, there will be no smirk on your face, your voice will sound even and calm. All these details are noticed on a subconscious level and only turn a difficult colleague away from you even more.
Remember, you should not be offended by people just because they think differently than you. Find positive qualities in your colleague and focus only on them.
If you can't find a contact, choose one of the strategies.
- Neutrality - keep your interactions to a minimum, but don't put your colleague on the "outcast" list. He is the same employee as the others, you just communicate with him less.
- Mutual concessions - let a colleague involuntarily understand that you are ready to sign a "world" and agree with his beliefs in exchange for his favor for your opinion.
- Open competition - if things don’t go well at all and you are openly “pressed on”, then be ready to answer, but just always act politely and openly. Do not see each other at provocations and do not be the first to enter into a conflict. And most importantly - do not pay attention. If you can get this person out of your head, then in reality he will impress you no more than meeting a stranger on the street: remember for the first second, forget for the second.
What if the “difficult person” is the boss?
50% of success and career growth depends on your relationship with your boss. Of course, you can always quit, but not the fact that the new boss will be more accessible in communication. In most cases, you can find a common language even with the most difficult boss. Just be sure to be patient. Without it, nowhere.
- Ignore comments. Of course, listening to criticism in your address is always unpleasant. But if the boss constantly makes unfounded claims, then one can only feel sorry for him, because inside he is a deeply unhappy, insecure person who is just as sharply dissatisfied with the quality of his life as with your work.
Remember the bosses who always go to meet the needs of employees and are easy to communicate with. After all, a smile always shines on their face, he is in a good mood - which means they are happy. Now imagine your boss. He rarely smiles, does he? Rather, on the contrary, he is always dissatisfied with something. Realize the above written and feel sympathy for the boss. His words are just a way to assert himself. We listen to them with the left ear, and through the right we release them into free swimming.
- Follow the golden mean. Don't try to build rapport by talking too much, but also don't be afraid to engage in conversation with your boss. Feel confident talking to him. Be bold enough, but also restrained at the same time. Otherwise, you risk getting bored.
- observation. Surely the boss has periods when he is in a good mood, as well as times when it is better not to approach. Try to logically connect the circumstances with the possible shades of his behavior. This can be achieved by regularly observing the habits and actions of the boss.
And what to do with the "difficult subordinate"?
The type of employees “and this is not part of my duties” or “gossip behind my back” is also a common occurrence. The solution to this problem is the simplest of all cases - you can fire the employee. But if this is not within your competence or you still don’t want to lose a qualified employee, then you need to “fix” his shortcomings.
As a rule, everything is decided by financial motivation. If you really load a person with work that is not part of his duties, then think about whether you are the hero of the article “How to correctly refuse an annoying boss?” Although there are times when an employee could insure the team and help in some way, the main thing is that such instructions should not be a system from the boss.
Let the person know that you are satisfied with his work and want to thank him with a bonus. If you often load an employee with additional work, then make concessions to him: release him from work earlier, give him vacation in the numbers he wants. In other words: act like a human being.
If you notice gossip, you can tell the employees the whole truth yourself. Let them know the official version, then the "yellow information" will lose interest. Hint in a personal conversation that you don’t like talking behind your back and you are severely punished for this.
Or maybe you yourself are a “difficult colleague”?
Do you think there are people in the team who avoid you? If yes, then for them you are also probably a “difficult person”.
For example, shy people often lead others into some kind of deception. In fact, they are very closed and afraid to be the first to speak. But who knows about it? They don't say: I'm shy. And others see only their outer shell: they do not communicate with anyone, avoid everyone, do not support the conversation. What a self-confident guy and probably too proud. That's how!
If you are not very sociable, then think about whether others are not “afraid” of you?
It can also apply to successful people. Colleagues with lower self-esteem have enrolled you as local "celebrities" and may not consider themselves worthy of being your friend.
Show genuine interest in everyone and be open. Take the first steps yourself and see who will follow you.
When you get a job, you find yourself in a team where you have to communicate and interact with different people. It happens that you meet people with whom it is very difficult to find a common language. Sometimes people just behave arrogantly, selfishly, refuse to fulfill the tasks set by their superiors.
Very often, managers do not want to admit their mistake in choosing an employee, so they do not fire such problem people.
Is it easy for your colleagues to work with you?
Perhaps the bosses simply believe in them and expect changes, but the whole team suffers from this: deadlines are missed, conflict situations arise. Such an atmosphere negatively affects the team: it discourages employees, it negatively affects the relationship between colleagues. As a result, the most valuable personnel that make up the backbone of the company prefer to quit and find themselves another, more peaceful place in all respects.
How to behave so that you are loved and respected by colleagues? What should be the ideal employee?
1. The most important thing is the ability to listen. After all, everyone likes it when they listen to you carefully, without interrupting, and only then they voice their point of view. So do other people, they also love it when their words and suggestions are respected.
2. Know how to understand the emotions of a person, because from how your colleague reacts to the situation, you can find out his attitude to the issue under discussion.
3. If you promised something, be sure to keep your word. Thus, you can confirm your reliability in the eyes of others, make it clear that you are a person of action, and at the same time increase self-esteem. Never give advice unless you are asked for it.
4. Never be late for work. Bosses and colleagues value punctuality, since only in this case can one fully rely on a person and not worry that he will not have time to do something or forget.
5. Be polite and calm. Never interrupt the interlocutor, always answer kindly and openly. If you need to refuse, then do it as softly, delicately as possible, without harsh phrases and any offense. Good manners are always appreciated in the team and outside it: in negotiations with partners, on business trips.
6. Don't skimp on praise. If you are in a leadership position, don't skimp on words of gratitude for a job well done. So you show your subordinates that you are interested in them, that every employee is important and valuable to you. Criticize less, try to gently and tactfully point out shortcomings, give advice on how to correct and improve them. Do not brag about your privileges, if any.
7. Always be honest and open with others. You should not gossip behind the backs of others, blame someone for the mistakes you have made, and report all unpleasant situations to your superiors. Do not discuss management with other employees, even during a corporate party when everyone is in an informal setting. Cheating has never worked in anyone's favor. And even if you “sneak your way up the corpses”, then sooner or later you yourself will find yourself a hostage to such a situation. People do not like too arrogant and arrogant.
8. Try to anticipate conflict situations in order to be able to avoid them and not get involved in a dispute.
9. Strive not to sit in one place, improve your skills, constantly improve your knowledge. Submit new projects and proposals to management for consideration. By the way, this way you can also get a promotion.
10. Never separate people on any basis: skin color, gender or social status. Treat everyone equally, because a person can be an excellent employee, regardless of who he is by nationality or religion. Remember the principle - treat others the way you would like to be treated. This is a true rule that has been working for many, many years. Respect the team, observe subordination, and then you will be valued and respected as an ideal employee.
(2 Votes)
