Why is it that one person in any situation is able to remain calm and confident, while another in the same circumstances is subject to the full range of manifestations of anxiety and anxiety? This can be seen all the time - it even happens that brothers and sisters growing up in the same conditions show completely different reactions.
In many ways, our reaction to circumstances is determined not only by experience, but also by innate data. However, regardless of the initial genetic data, experience and other factors, each of us sometimes needs to be able to remain calm in any conditions. How can this be done if nature, instead of an impenetrable character, on the contrary, endowed it with increased sensitivity to the events of the surrounding world?
First, you need to be able to live your emotions and accept them.
It is not necessary, especially in a critical situation, to try to abstract from fear or anxiety. By suppressing our reactions, we can only increase them. Of course, in order to have the proper degree of effective self-control, one cannot do without preliminary preparation. Regular practice of meditation can be a good help in this matter. But it may happen that you do not feel sufficiently prepared to, like detached yogis, calmly observe everything that happens from the side.
In this case, it is better not to suppress your feelings, but to accept them. Try using a method from the field of emotional-image therapy. Briefly, this method is as follows. It is necessary to imagine your experience, endowing it with some physical appearance. It can be any image - a gray spot, a red button. For some, fear personified even takes the form of a melted rubber tire. Then you need to ask this image a question: what does it need? Maybe he wants you to send him some warmth or positive energy.
Imagine gentle rays of acceptance and kindness moving towards your fear. This will help not to fight the emotion, but to accept it as part of yourself.
- At the next stage, when the feelings of anxiety and anxiety have already lost their sharpness a little, you can try the method of distraction. Since staying calm in any situation can be required at any moment, you need to determine in advance which method of distraction will suit you best. First, it's always good to use your imagination. To do this, you need to imagine yourself in a good, pleasant place, far from the current worries and worries. It can be memories of a vacation or a visit to relatives. Most importantly, the pictures in your imagination should be detailed and bright, with the maximum amount of detail - smells, sounds, interior details or landscapes.
- Good music can serve as another way to get distracted. Some of those who suffer from high anxiety often keep a list of their favorite uplifting tunes ready with them. They help to gather in time and give strength of mind - as well as temporarily disconnect from a stressful situation.
- Another good way is to count. You can count buses that have arrived at a stop under the window, or cars of a certain color; or, for example, add or multiply two-digit numbers in your mind. Thus, you will switch the focus of excitation of the cerebral cortex to the area that is responsible for logical perception, thereby reducing anxiety.
Take a break from the situation.
When you are under pressure, you must immediately pause and take a step to the side. After all, it is in the most tense moments that we most need space for maneuver and time in order to consider further actions. After detaching from the situation physically and emotionally, try to clarify for yourself why these circumstances are stressing you. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Why did I suddenly feel restless?
- Was there any trigger that had provoked me earlier to these feelings?
- Is my current view of the situation adequate? Am I interpreting events correctly?
Always be careful.
During a stressful situation, it is very important to maintain attention to detail. It is in them that most often the answers to many questions are hidden, as well as the possibility of solving problems. Attention to detail also helps to control yourself. Look at your behavior, the behavior of other people, the events of the outside world that are happening around you. In a state of anxiety, all events are mixed into one big lump, consisting of questions and unresolved tasks. By paying attention to the little things, you will be able to gradually divide reality into small parts again, which will also help fight anxiety.
Use uplifting statements.
It is critically important in a stressful environment to try to maintain a positive outlook, since it is impossible to be calm in any situation if the mind is filled with negative thoughts and attitudes. To do this, you need to properly build your internal dialogue. The way you address yourself in tense circumstances can both calm you down and further fuel fear and panic.
Anxiety, stress, imbalance have become frequent companions of modern man. A huge flow of negative information leads to such states, the sources of which are primarily television and the Internet. In addition, household and work troubles disturb the state of balance. All these factors negatively affect the psyche. and balanced, how to deal with stressful situations? We will talk about effective ways that will help you learn to control emotions.
Signs of a disturbance
How does such a state manifest itself? Here are the main signs:
- frequent mood swings for no reason;
- unreasonable irritability;
- manifestation of aggression;
- decreased attention, perseverance;
- headache;
- weakness;
- insomnia.
Have you noticed any symptom or several at once? Calm, only calm: our tips will help you deal with them.
Why control emotions?
Let's think about how often each of us utters such phrases: "I acted in such a rush", "I could not restrain my emotions" and the like? In fact, people tend to justify their own actions by the inability to control their behavior. But such incontinence leads to the destruction of a person’s social contacts, in particular, it negatively affects family relationships, hinders professional realization and career growth, as well as personal development. Therefore, one of the secrets of a successful person can be called calmness - only calmness will help you find the right solution in critical situations and confidently take the necessary measures.
How can you develop this quality in yourself? Where to begin? Below we will tell
Psychology considers the concept of balance as the ability to respond to external stimuli. Thus, having learned to correctly perceive factors of various types and strengths, it is possible to achieve the ability to control one's own emotions. How to stop taking the troubles that arise in life too close to your heart? Below we offer several effective ways to solve this problem.
Complete rest
How a modern person rests after a heavy one. Most often, he devotes no more than 5-6 hours to sleep, while at least 8 hours are needed for health. In addition, the noise of the bustle of the city, highways does not allow you to fully recuperate, and pressing problems do not allow you to relax and fall into a deep sound sleep. In recent years, there has been a significant increase in various disorders of the nervous system - people more often began to suffer from insomnia, insomia, postsomic disorders (a feeling of weakness and fatigue after rest). Of course, the lack of proper rest contributes to the development of irritability, excessive emotionality. How to become calm and balanced if you are worried about sleep problems? Here are some effective tips:
- do not watch TV or "hang" on the Internet just before going to bed, it is better to read a book;
- drink tea with mint and honey - this is a tasty and healthy drink, which also helps to cope with irritation, nervousness;
- take a hot bath with herbs of sage, lemon balm, oregano, chamomile - such a pleasant procedure will not only relieve fatigue, but also calm the nervous system, set the body for the upcoming rest;
- it is recommended to exclude the use of strong tea and coffee;
- do not forget about a daily walk in the park - fresh air will refresh you, and the picturesque landscape will calm you down.
Is it worth holding back emotions?
A leisurely walk along a picturesque alley or relaxing in a comfortable chair with a cup of fragrant herbal tea is, of course, a pastime that is useful for calming the nervous system. But is it worth suppressing emotions when the situation encourages their active manifestation? According to psychologists, such containment of negativity within oneself only aggravates the mental state of a person. Experts recommend dealing with accumulated emotions with the help of a hobby. Each person chooses an occupation according to his interests, but psychologists consider art therapy, sports (including extreme sports), various dance styles to be the most effective hobbies.
Diary of self-control
Experts recommend to patients who complain of incontinence, imbalance, a method such as psychological control. Its essence lies in observing the reactions that arise in a person to any external stimuli. To do this, psychologists suggest keeping a diary in which it is recommended to note various conflict situations and the reaction of the subject to them. After that, the records, together with a specialist, must be analyzed, identified and, if possible, eliminated the root cause of incontinence.
In addition to keeping a diary, there are other ways of self-control. For example, such as meditation, breathing exercises and others. In addition, the inability to control emotions can be hidden under the guise of humor and a positive attitude towards others.
Introspection
Systematic introspection will also help you learn to control the manifestation of negative emotions. Experts recommend devoting a few minutes every day to thinking, understanding the actions and reactions of others to them. It is important that nothing interferes around - introspection should be carried out in silence and comfortable conditions for a person. Psychologists recommend considering oneself from the outside - only in this case it is possible to achieve an objective assessment, after which it is possible to draw the right conclusions. It is recommended to write down the most significant judgments for a person that were formulated as a result of introspection - this will increase the effectiveness of introspection as a way to achieve balance.
In addition to what has already been said, we will share simple but effective tips on how to become calm and balanced:
- Create comfort around you. When a person is uncomfortable to be in any room, there is irritation, aggressiveness. Therefore, it is so important to properly create an interior not only at home, but also at work. You should be guided by the principle: "You need not what is expensive, but what you like."
- Minimize communication with people who have a negative attitude towards the world around them, often complain about life.
- Set your own priorities and set a clear goal.
- Practice time management - time control will reduce the likelihood of critical situations and streamline daily affairs.
- Don't leave unfinished business.
If you do not know how to become calm and balanced, you should seek professional help from specialists, in particular a psychologist and a neurologist.
At work there is an emergency, the situation gets out of control, the signing of an important contract fails, and the boss allows himself rude remarks? In a difficult environment, many fail to resist the feeling of anxiety that overcomes them. In turn, this makes it difficult to think logically and make the right decisions. How to keep calm so that even in stressful situations you don’t say or do something that you later have to regret?
Staying calm in a critical situation does not mean "tolerating". Ordinary patience will not help resolve a conflict or find a way out of a difficult situation. Rather, on the contrary, the accumulated tension will one day provoke a strong explosion of emotions with unpredictable consequences. Therefore, it is important to learn to understand the causes of what is happening and keep emotions under control.
- Identify the factors that disturb your inner balance. To minimize the possibility of stressful situations, try to identify what exactly makes you lose control of your emotions. It can be office noise, a high degree of workload, or endless conversations of an annoying colleague. Do not forget, if you know your irritants “by sight”, it will be easier for you to protect yourself from them.
- Do not thicken the colors. No matter how difficult the situation, try not to dramatize the events. Don't exaggerate the negative! Don't even think that "this always happens to me." On the contrary, take a deep breath / exhale and say: “Nothing terrible happened. I can handle it!” This will help you overcome the panic mood and look at the situation with fresh eyes.
- Think good. Of course, in a stressful situation it is difficult to switch your mind to the positive. But even through “I can’t,” force yourself to remember at least one positive event that happened to you during the day. With some effort, you will see that even not on “your day” something good can happen to you.
- Don't imagine what would happen if... The more actively you sort out options for further development of events, the less time you have left for real action. Truly successful people don't agonize over "What if?" They understand that the answer will not give them peace of mind and will not help solve the problem.
- Do not rush to connect the "Help a friend" option. When you are on the verge of despair, do not rush to talk about your problem on social networks. First, think and analyze the situation yourself. Even if you do not manage to find a way out quickly, a short pause will allow you to collect your thoughts and calm down a little. After all, to show their participation, friends begin to sympathize with you. Often this "help" only makes things worse, and you can become even more upset.
- Create an atmosphere in which you feel as comfortable as possible. What personally calms you down and helps you cope with stress faster? Perhaps calm instrumental music, soft candle fire, a warm bath with fragrant foam, lavender oil in an aroma lamp, or stills from your favorite movie? Use whatever helps you restore your peace of mind. When you cross the threshold of your house in the evening, try to find a few minutes so that your brain can calm down and smoothly switch to family affairs. Turn off the lights and sit quietly for a few minutes. Surprisingly, such simple actions are extremely effective. They help to calm down and quickly switch to other activities.
- Take a break. Instead of rethinking what is happening over and over again, do something interesting, and if possible even funny. Watch a comedy or read a book that will make you laugh. When you feel positive - you feel a surge of energy, so it's easier for you to resist stress.
- Go offline. If your work phone is open 24/7 and you check your mailbox regularly, you yourself provoke stress. Stop constantly thinking about work, periodically go offline. If you're worried about missing an important call, start small. For example, when you leave the office, turn off your phone or allow yourself to be "out of range" on weekend mornings. Be sure to separate your personal life and work!
- Get enough sleep. During a full sleep, the brain reboots, it protects you from the experiences of the past day. Therefore, you start a new day with fresh energy. In turn, sleep deprivation contributes to an increase in cortisol levels. And if you add to this a tense atmosphere at work and emotional burnout, you are guaranteed. If you want to be productive, get enough sleep!
In stressful situations, a person can not restrain himself and do a bunch of unnecessary things. You need to learn to control your emotions, always understand what you are doing and whether it is right.
Many psychologists recommend work on your self-esteem and not dramatize what is happening. You need to convince yourself that you are a very strong and strong person who cannot be broken. Also, do not wind yourself up in stressful situations - this will only complicate everything.
How to keep calm and composure?
1. Something positive. In any situation that is unpleasant for you, look for something positive. This will help you get distracted and understand that you have not made any blunders.
2 . Don't let doubt into your life. Instead of constantly scolding yourself, escalating the situation, tell yourself a couple of kind words. Search various sources for iconic phrases that have helped many great people cope with crises. In fact, there are a great many such expressions and aphorisms, everyone can find the most suitable for themselves. Remember, for sure, you have already had to be in difficult situations when you were just as desperately looking into the future. You did it then, so today, you can do it now. Remember exactly what helped you to survive, to go through past hardships, learn from your past experience.
3. Breath. When you feel intense fear, you will need to take a few deep breaths. This will help relieve excitement, tension and tune in to a normal rhythm.
4. Do yoga, meditation and exercise. These are the best ways to relieve stress and be calm all day long. It will be enough to devote 20-30 minutes a day to maintain composure in any situation.
5. Favorite hero. Surely you have a favorite hero who brilliantly coped with his difficulties, and you always turn to him for help. If there is no hero, then find him. Let him be your advisor. See how he copes with difficulties, what helps him, what leads him. Remember what phrases he says that make your body goosebumps (this, by the way, is a sure sign that these words will help you the most right now). It will be even better if this adviser is from your inner circle. Then a real person will give even more strength, since he is not from the cinema, but sits here and shares his experience.
6. The right words. In nervous situations, it is recommended to use such words: “I am strong”, “I can handle it”, “Nothing terrible happened”, “I am much stronger than this”, etc. Such verbal formulations can help you overcome fear and also give you strong confidence.
7. Aspiration. Your desire to solve difficult situations will help you. Treat anything difficult as just another math problem to be solved. You have a sheet of paper and a pen in your hands, and what you write or which path you choose depends only on you. The most interesting thing is that you can always try several ways until you find exactly what you need.
Panic attacks
In many cases, a strong fear is felt, caused by some particular place or situation. It could well be an elevator, an airport, a school. Anything. Basically, in the representatives of the weaker sex, the peak of panic attacks lasts 10-20 minutes. But there are times when they last up to an hour or more.
You may feel as if you are about to die. But you try to remember how many times this has already happened. It may seem to you that you will now stop breathing, but of course this will not happen, although shortness of breath can be observed. All of these warning signs are false. Feeling out of control is also a false alarm. In short, when you know your symptoms well, the easier it will be for you to overcome these attacks.
How to stay calm - video
On the planet - a Buddhist who firmly believes in karma. He never fusses, and when others begin to openly pester him, he simply stocks up on popcorn and prepares to watch an action-packed thriller called “How Life Will Revenge You.” We are not Buddhists and it is difficult for us to achieve this level of composure. But everyone can learn to remain calm.
Mad Rhythm
A person now lives in such a crazy rhythm that only by keeping calm can he make the right decisions. According to the latest statistics, the number of people who are under stress is increasing every year. Study, work, household, financial and family problems - all this negatively affects the nervous system. At some point, a person simply breaks down due to fatigue and accumulated problems.
So how do you learn to stay calm? First you need to understand what it means to be truly calm. Not indifferent and not contemptuous, namely calm.
The ability to remain calm is understood as the ability to be calm in any situation. A calm person never loses patience and optimism, even in cases where it seems to us (constantly fussing) that it is impossible to control what is happening.
Due to an excess of stress and constant nervousness, a person can even feel physically unwell, so it will be useful for everyone to master the techniques of maintaining calmness.
The problem of control and suppression
Quite often, people are faced with the problem of not understanding the difference between suppression of emotions and control. It's far from the same. Usually, a person begins to suppress emotions after they have taken possession of his body. That is, they are simply not shown, but hidden somewhere in the depths of themselves from the external environment. In this case, negative energy does not go anywhere, but poisons the body, causing various diseases.
Emotional control is something else. A person learns not to fall under the power of stress, to resist it and does not allow even the slightest hesitation to drive himself into a corner. The impact of negative emotions is somewhat like a snowball: you just have to relax for a moment, as they will swallow you up.
Therefore, the ability to remain calm in any situation will be most welcome if you need to improve your life in all aspects. Surely each of us has noticed more than once that if you experience excitement before an important event, then everything starts to literally fall out of your hands, and a person gets annoyed for any reason. This negativity is capable of quickly as a result - it will be extremely difficult for a person to act and make the right decisions.
Therefore, in order to build a successful and happy life, you need to know how to remain calm in any situation. Of course, at first you will have to make efforts to train stress resistance, but then efforts will become a habit.
Express Methods
For those who are caught off guard by stress, express methods that will restore peace of mind will help to keep calm. If you feel that you are starting to get stressed and irritated while doing something, pause and distract yourself with something else. This will help restore balance. Otherwise, the tension will increase, and with it the likelihood of a nervous breakdown will increase.
Also, do not immediately share your experiences with friends or relatives. First you need to understand the situation yourself, analyzing the possible causes of stress. For yourself, you need to note all the manifestations of nervousness that manifest themselves at the level of the body. For example, a person turns red, his fingers begin to tremble, or his heart rate quickens. Noting these features, a person in the future will be able to understand how tense he is, and pull himself together.
Breathing, landscape, acceptance
So how do you stay calm in stressful situations? It is important to be able to concentrate on breathing. When the body is under stress, adrenaline is actively produced, this process disrupts the rhythm of breathing. To fix it again, you need to use breathing techniques. The simplest of them is three deep breaths and exhalations. This exercise can be done both during periods of stress and in a calm environment to relax.
Fresh air helps to restore stress resistance, because oxygen saturation of the brain helps to calm down. It also helps to control emotions by accepting and understanding them. If a person feels tension, he should voice his feelings, articulate and acknowledge negative emotions. For example, say "I'm furious" or "I'm worried."
Suspiciousness, visualization, idol
While stress is in its "embryo" state, it must be taken under control - this is the first rule of stress resistance. How to keep calm? Do not allow the situation to unfold to a large scale. Some people are especially suspicious, it doesn’t cost them anything to inflate a fly to the size of an elephant and suffer from it. Therefore, as soon as you feel tension, you need to immediately determine its source and, if possible, get rid of it.
Visualization will also help restore calmness. For example, you can imagine that you pack the problem and all the negativity in a box and throw it into the sea. True, this technique is suitable only for people with a good imagination.
You can also remember some character or real person who can be called the embodiment of calmness, and try to imagine how he would act in a similar situation.
The first step is to apply an objective analysis of the situation. You need to look at the situation from the side, as if it concerns some other person. By ceasing to be emotionally involved in events, we are able to make sound and intelligent decisions. If emotions are too high, you need to talk to someone about what is happening. It will be easier for an outsider to look at the circumstances calmly and see the right way out.
Nutrition
Oddly enough, a healthy diet helps to train stress resistance and remain calm in any situation. It has long been proven that food affects not only the body, but also the mood. It is a mistake to assume that coffee, a cigarette or large doses of flour and sweets will help to calm down. On the contrary, coffee (like any other drink containing caffeine) will make a person even more irritable. Sugar is a source of glucose, and it, in turn, is responsible for vigor and energy. Therefore, eating large quantities of sweets during a period of stress, a person becomes more excited, impulsive and loses the ability to reason. When stressed, eating dark chocolate and foods rich in vitamin C is beneficial, as they lower cortisol levels. If, with neurosis, a person literally cannot help but eat, he can use chewing gum without sugar.
Work
The third recommendation is not to avoid physical labor. A walk, outdoor activities, etc. will help to “disconnect” from problems. It is not so important what exactly a person will do, the main thing is that he releases the accumulated energy, and does not sit locked up alone with his thoughts.
Physical activity helps the body produce endorphins - hormones of happiness, and they, like nothing else, help to cope with stressful situations.
humor, forgiveness, oblivion
Sometimes a person may face a situation in which he will feel guilty and worry about it. To remain calm, you need to realize the gravity of your mistake and ... forgive yourself for it. There is no person who does not make mistakes, thanks to them we can accumulate life experience. Didn't do it right? Give yourself a chance to fix it. It is worth looking at every situation from the positive side, because everything that is done is for the better.
Increasing stress resistance, or How to stay calm and efficient: advice for everyone
Perhaps someone noticed that confident people with high self-esteem are less worried about trifles. They know they can handle the situation. If a person is satisfied with himself and feels calm, regardless of what is happening around.
To develop self-confidence, the first step is to accept your appearance. A person should like himself for who he is, so he needs to look in the mirror more often and give himself compliments.
Do not forget about your achievements, situations where you managed to successfully cope with difficulties, etc. It is important to find time to do what you love and never lose a good mood. The more positive a person is, the less he is subject to stress. Therefore, it is worth stocking up on a list of life-affirming phrases and repeating them every day.
Even if everything is boiling inside, you need to at least externally express calmness, this will help restore inner balance.
