Many people throughout their lives seek false ways to increase their self-esteem by hiding behind expensive things, striving for the perfect figure. If you think for a second and remember some famous and successful personalities who were seen in simple clothes and hardly looked like they were successful, more like “hipsters”. It is unlikely that they suffer from low self-esteem, because their bank account says otherwise.
Everything comes from our consciousness and subconsciousness, from how and what we think and what feelings we experience at this moment.
Of course, our physical health also plays an important role. The way we eat, whether we exercise. After all, if we feel unwell, we are unlikely to be sure of everything.
1. Fear.
Often, before making a decision, we experience fear. Fear protects our body from danger, leaving us in a comfort zone, as a result of which we do not dare to change something. Everyone dreams of something they can't start doing, someone has always wanted to learn how to snowboard or open their own cooking, and maybe even have a baby. But at the stage of thinking about it, we already experience fear, although we have not even taken a step to implement the plan.
One of the first goals on the path to self-esteem is to get rid of fear.
Sit at home in a quiet room, relax and think about your fear. Think of it like a picture in a frame. Then imagine how this picture moves away from you and becomes less and less noticeable, eventually turning into a dot that disappears altogether.
The next way to get rid of fear is to feel the insignificance of fear, as well as the fact that it does not deserve your worries. And then erase this picture with your hand, as if you were rubbing your hand on a misted window.
2. Flexibility of character.
Develop the flexibility of your character. Everyone has probably noticed a sharp reaction to a minor event - for example, friends decide to cancel a meeting at the last minute. Scientists believe that this comes from our childhood. To begin with, clearly define in what cases you begin to overreact. Are the circumstances so terrible that they would react in such a way? Is this situation worth it to react so sharply? If these questions make you feel defensive, then you are indeed overreacting to the situation. The first step towards overcoming such reactions is to recognize their nature and understand what in your past caused them. Another way is to intentionally, consciously change your habits. Ask yourself how attached you are to your usual plans. Can you take a different route from work? Or go to the store on Wednesday instead of Thursday as usual? Can you change your plans without disorienting yourself? This is your chance to become more flexible. Flexibility in one area makes it possible to develop flexibility in other areas.
3. Set goals for yourself and solve them.
Set realistic goals and achieve them. Choose the most important of everyday things and solve them. You will experience a feeling of satisfaction and ease if you start with the most difficult tasks and gradually move towards the easier ones. Perhaps success will not always be, but this should not oppress you, on the contrary, remember the tasks that you have already completed. Feel confident that you can achieve everything (“the foundation was poured, the walls were installed, the ceiling remained, but there are not enough resources. It’s okay. But how quickly the foundation was poured and how well everything else was done”). Always think about what you are good at. If something works out, then you deserve it. Self-confidence will come when you realize that the tasks are completed, even if they were small and simple.
How to learn to appreciate yourself?
Each of us is a unique personality, each has a certain set of personal qualities, skills, achievements. Everyone perceives the world in their own way. In order to notice your uniqueness and enjoy it every day, write down on a piece of paper everything that you consider to be the best in yourself. These can be beautiful eyes or certain professional achievements (“I have a lot of experience in a certain field”), as well as character traits (“responsive”, “I can listen”). If you think of something you don't like, don't write it down. Do not limit yourself to one day, constantly re-read and add to the list.
You can also ask your relatives and relatives about how and under what situation they could turn to you as a specialist, a person with experience. Write it down and read it periodically. This will give you self-confidence as well as the peace of mind that there are people to turn to for support.
4. Find something that gives you strength and confidence.
Perhaps this is yoga or a walk along the embankment, or maybe these are minutes spent reading your favorite book, or just pleasant memories that fill you with a sense of satisfaction, after which you feel a surge of strength and joy.
Fill your life with colors. Do not leave the gilded service for the holidays, take it out and use it every day, enjoying its beauty.
Also, psychologists advise to develop what gives you strength and confidence. If you are not given foreign languages (and you have already signed up for foreign language courses) and at the same time you are in a depressed state, the success of others can only aggravate your condition. Instead, focus on what works best for you. Awareness of your own mastery enhances self-confidence due to the positive emotions that you experience (pride, joy, lightness of mind).
5. Keep and emphasize your uniqueness.
No need to drown in the problems of her husband and in caring for children. You can love a person, perform various “feats” for him and enjoy it, but you cannot live for him, and he cannot live for you. Your loved one fell in love with you for who you are, do not lose your uniqueness and individuality.
Now you know how to raise a woman's self-esteem! If you have your own ways, then share them in the comments!
Video by a professional psychologist on how to increase self-esteem. Where do legs grow from and how to deal with it?
The way a person treats himself “programs” him for further accomplishments. Self-perception plays a big role in everyone's life, so it should not be overlooked. Basic knowledge about this will not harm anyone, and, most likely, will even benefit. They will help to identify problematic points and, if possible, correct them. The article talks about the concept of self-esteem, its formation, the possibility of change, the identified types and levels.
What is self-esteem
Self-esteem is the level of self-acceptance, the ability to critically analyze one's own capabilities. It is inextricably linked with self-love. A person with a lot of complexes will not be able to experience this feeling until he gets rid of them. Self-esteem affects how easy it is for an individual to communicate with others, achieve goals, and develop. Those who have it underestimated experience serious difficulties in all areas.
The problem with low self-esteem is that its owners refuse to change. Often they are sure that such an attitude towards themselves persists for life. This is an erroneous opinion, because many factors influence self-perception; it cannot be the same throughout life.
How self-esteem is formed
Its foundations are laid in childhood. After infancy, the child begins to realize the essence of comparisons, self-esteem appears in his system of concepts. Parents should be careful with statements addressed to their son or daughter. Phrases like “Alina studies better in all subjects” or “but Dima is already learning a second language by his fourteen” do not motivate children. Rather, such expressions make them hate both Alina and Dima, and sometimes their parents, who strike at self-esteem. The child/adolescent should not feel that they need to earn the love of loved ones or try to overtake their peers in a far-fetched race. He needs first of all support and faith. On the contrary, praise also does not lead to the formation of an adequate assessment.
Adults who inspire the child that he is the most talented, and the rest are no match for him, do a disservice. Raised on praise, even out of puberty incapable of self-criticism. This prevents them from developing, eradicating their own shortcomings. Some of those who at one time received an “overdose” of compliments and flattery become downtrodden and unsociable in adulthood. This pattern of behavior is the result of a combination of parental actions and harsh reality. Understanding that he is not unique in his own uniqueness leads a person to depression and other mental disorders.
In addition, a number of other factors affect self-esteem, including environment(classmates, classmates, work colleagues, relatives), financial situation, education. Many complexes come from the school. Victims of bullying cope with fears for a long time, and are subject to phobias for the rest of their lives. The comparison of one's own financial situation with the income of more successful people hits hard on self-esteem. But self-evaluation is not static; it changes throughout life, the level depends, among other things, on the efforts of its owner.
Types of self-assessment
There are three main types. Their names are used not only in psychology, but also in everyday life. You can often hear phrases like "he has inadequate self-esteem." Classification helps to understand how individuals evaluate themselves, how close their opinion is to objectivity.
Adequate self-esteem- a species characteristic, unfortunately, for a minority of people. Its owners know how to treat their abilities sensibly, do not deny shortcomings, trying to get rid of them. In addition, the emphasis is on strengths that are actively developed. Few are capable of adequate self-criticism. Often you can observe two extremes - either bust with self-flagellation, or inflated conceit.
Radical qualities are signs of the second type of self-esteem, which is commonly called distorted(inadequate). Its formation is almost always the result of complexes, explicit or hidden. Often behind inflated self-esteem lies insecurity, attempts to appear better in the eyes of others. Understated differs in that its owner directly broadcasts his own complexes - he talks about them to others, behaves accordingly (stiffness, stiffness, difficulties in communication).
There is another type inherent in the majority - mixed. It means that at certain moments of life a person treats himself differently. He is able to adequately evaluate actions / deeds, devote time to excessive self-criticism, while sometimes overestimating his own skills. Alas, the majority fails to maintain a balance, and such “fluctuations” are fraught with mental problems.
Levels of self-esteem
There are three main levels, as well as types. They demonstrate a degree of self-love, the ability to see both positive and negative traits, and closeness to balance. Levels are associated with species, but there are still differences, which will be discussed further.
Low
The first, the most disliked by all. They try to get rid of low self-esteem by all available means. There are thousands of techniques that tell how to deal with complexes, and some of them are effective. Level refers to distorted perception; it is characterized by an inability to praise oneself, an underestimation of one's merits, a high level of anxiety, constant comparisons with others who are more successful. Those who have problems with self-esteem are easy to offend - just play a joke on them or hint at a lack of appearance / knowledge. Low self-esteem creates a lot of inconvenience. She really is worth fighting for.
Normal
One of the indicators that a person does not have serious mental health problems. He knows how to listen to the inner voice, analyzes his own mistakes, is able to make jokes about himself. At the same time, such a person will not allow her to be insulted, forced to do useless tedious work, and her rights are ignored. It is worth striving for this level, because it is recognized as optimal.
high
The third level is inherent in those who focus on their strengths, losing sight of their shortcomings. It is no less dangerous than the low one. This type of self-perception is not adequate. Those with high self-esteem easily ignore constructive criticism. It is hard for them to get out of their comfort zone, they resist it with all their might. Ossification of beliefs, rejection of others is a big problem. Its danger also lies in the difficulty of recognition. It is believed that vehemently defending his position is strong, confident, reliable. But there is also the other side of the coin: unshakable convictions hinder development, do not give the opportunity to learn, try something new.
As a result- self-esteem directly depends on living conditions, upbringing and environment. However, unfavorable factors are not a reason to give up on yourself. With a strong desire, the attitude towards oneself can be successfully corrected, and there are many examples when downtrodden, indecisive men and women turned into liberated, strong personalities. It all starts with the awareness of problems, the desire to change for the better and, of course, efforts.
In this article, we will consider the following questions:
- 1. What is self-esteem?
- 2. Why is having high self-esteem so important?
- 3. Reasons for low self-esteem.
WHAT IS SELF-ASSESSMENT?
Self-esteem- this is your attitude towards yourself, that is, how you see yourself, what you think about yourself and who you consider yourself to be. All of these self-images are formed from a list of self-beliefs. This list contains both good qualities and bad ones. Self-esteem is not how you really are or how people around you see you. Self-esteem is what WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF. People don't always think of you the way you think they do. Your level of self-esteem is your SUBJECTIVE look at yourself. This quality is formed from the very beginning of your life and is done gradually and can be consciously or unconsciously changed.
In most cases, an unconscious change in self-esteem leads to its low level. Why? It's just that people are arranged in such a way that they notice only the bad in a person, they are always looking for flaws in him, and for some reason all the good is filtered out. Positive qualities are taken for granted. And since more attention is focused on everything bad, of course, it takes root much better and faster in the subconscious, which accordingly affects the attitude towards oneself. carried out with the help of thoughts and actions in different situations. The formation of high self-esteem is very important for a modern person. Without high self-esteem, a person is unlikely to achieve anything significant.
Self-esteem is the very starting point from which it begins. If you don't love yourself, then how will others love you? High self-esteem is extremely important, because all your actions will directly depend on it. When the level of your self-esteem increases, then the level of your return in all areas of your life increases. High self-esteem leads to confident actions and good decisions. Low self-esteem leads to timidity, doubts and, as a result, to uncertainty at the moment of making a decision. I comment on this process point by point.
- You yourself participate in the formation of your own self-esteem.
- Thoughts and behavior are in line with your self-image.
- The influence of self-esteem directly depends on how others perceive you.
- Your self-esteem changes positively or negatively after realizing how other people perceive you.
- We return to point 2.
FORMATION OF HIGH SELF-ESTIMATION DIRECTLY AFFECTS ALL YOUR ACTIONS, AND YOUR FURTHER LIFE WILL DEPEND ON YOUR ACTIONS.
As Henry Ford said: “If you think you can or cannot do it, you are right in both cases”.
REASONS FOR LOW SELF-ESTIMATION
1. We are surrounded by negative people and very often we deal with a negative society.
There are far fewer successful people, but they were able to break through this wall of mediocrity. Why is it so difficult? All because it is necessary to get out of the usual ideas of the masses and trust yourself, and start your movement at the call of the soul. And it's not very easy. They lie in wait for you at every step, and in addition they indicate to you that you are not going where you need to go. Those people who cannot withstand such tension choose a simpler path - to merge with the crowd and forget about their own. Most of these people, society simply takes them away from them.
2. A person's abilities and capabilities, appearance and intellectual potential were repeatedly ridiculed or questioned by teachers, parents, friends and many other people when a good opportunity turned up.
No matter how badly or well you did the task, there will always be people who will criticize you. They will criticize either for what you have done or for what you have not done. The main purpose of any criticism is to increase the feeling of one's worth. When you step forward, you leave a lot of people behind you, and then they try to put you down with words. Remember: the level of your self-esteem will determine the level of your success.
3. Giving too much importance to some event in which you failed.
4. Self-promotion
Self-promotion is a small text, descriptive. This text should describe you and your qualities from the best side. Works very effectively in conjunction with reception number 1 - "mirror". You take a blank piece of paper and write:
“Ivan Ivanovich, meet Ivan Ivanovich, a respectable and influential businessman. He has business in 35 countries around the world. He is in the top 1% of the most influential and wealthy people from all over the world. True leader. Ivan has grandiose dreams, he is fluent in self-hypnosis techniques. He has a powerful faith in God, in his business and especially in himself. His love is inexhaustible. He loves his job. He loves difficulties, because he sincerely believes that the more difficulties he encounters along the way, the greater the reward awaits him in the future. He dresses awesome, looks stunning. He has a very high self-esteem due to the fact that he knows perfectly well who he really is and what kind of business is in his hands. Every day his business is flourishing, and Ivan is becoming more and more perfect, more confident in himself, in God and in his goals. He can achieve absolutely any goals, because with God nothing is impossible. God leads him by the hand."
After you write the text, read it every day and preferably in front of a mirror.
On this article how to raise self-esteem came to an end. I wish you success in raising your self-esteem.
how to improve self esteem what is self esteem
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The level of self-esteem affects all the actions of a person. Most often, a person's self-esteem is underestimated, that is, a person's real capabilities are higher than a person's ideas about their capabilities. This is usually due to the fact that the formation of self-esteem occurs mainly in childhood, when a person's capabilities are poorly developed. In addition, a negative environment has a serious impact. Of course, there are cases when a person has high self-esteem, but, in my opinion, this is typical only for very young people.
And for adults, the reverse situation is typical - low self-esteem, which is quite understandable. Personality is formed in childhood and early youth, when a person's capabilities, for obvious reasons, are seriously limited.
It is quite possible to increase self-esteem, although this is often a rather slow process. However, conscious attempts at building self-esteem can be beneficial to just about anyone.
How to increase self-esteem and self-confidence? Here are 12 tips to help you do just that:
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. There will always be people who have more of something than you, and there are people who have less than you. If you make comparisons, you will always have too many opponents or opponents in front of you that you cannot surpass.
2. Stop scolding and blaming yourself. You will not be able to develop a high level of self-esteem if you repeat negative statements about yourself and your abilities. Whether you're talking about your appearance, your career, relationships, financial status, or any other aspect of your life, avoid self-deprecating comments. Self-esteem correction is directly related to your statements about yourself.
3. Accept all compliments and congratulations in return "thank you." When you respond to a compliment with something like “yes, nothing special,” you are rejecting the compliment and simultaneously sending yourself the message that you are not worthy of praise, building low self-esteem. Therefore, accept praise without belittling your dignity.
People with high self-esteem are hard to find. After all, even society does not approve of an overly positive view of oneself. We all constantly compare ourselves to supermodels or think about how it would be worth earning more and becoming better. But you can make a difference! Here are twelve steps you can take today.
Pay attention to how you refer to yourself
Do you have any idea how many negative thoughts go through your mind every day? Hardly. Even if it’s something familiar like “My hair is terrible today,” it’s worth paying attention and controlling your mood. Take a notepad and write down all the bad things you think about yourself. After a week, take a look at the resulting list, think it over and write a rebuttal for each item.
Don't compare yourself to others
Your self-esteem drops instantly when you look at Angelina Jolie or your millionaire relative's bank account. But you can change the situation! Stop comparing yourself to others. Think about what you have. You have a roof over your head, food is on the table, you are already lucky. Be grateful for everything you have and don't complain about what you don't have.
Don't live in the past
Even if you have done something in the past that you are ashamed of, it cannot define your personality for the rest of your life. No one can turn back time, so the best thing to do is forgive yourself for the mistake, decide not to repeat it, and move on. Replaying thoughts of failure over and over won't get you anywhere. Or maybe it was better in the past? This is also not a reason to live in bygone days. Everything changes, and life does not stand still, move on with it.
Find a friend to support
Anyone who has ever tried to change their habits knows how difficult it is. Low self-esteem is also a kind of habit, it is the nature of your thoughts that you have chosen. That is why it is important to have a person who would point out to us the appearance of negativity in the mood and help us return to a positive way. Sometimes we just don't realize how much we underestimate ourselves.
Figure out what makes you feel insignificant
Think about the reasons for low self-esteem. Maybe you always had a more successful sister? Were you teased as a child? Everyone has weaknesses, so it's important to deal with them and try not to feel bad about yourself. Everything that caused you negativity is already in the past, you have changed. Don't judge yourself in that context. 
Separate thoughts from real facts
Maybe you think that you are overweight, but in fact everything is completely wrong. Maybe you are just surrounded by thinner girlfriends, and you are medium in size. If you constantly compare yourself to others, your reality will not be objective. Rely only on facts - feelings are very different from them, and they can not always be completely trusted.
Treat yourself like a friend who needs support
We all criticize ourselves much more than our friends. A good friend is always supportive and won't make malicious comments. Be that kind of friend to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Give compliments, praise yourself more often. You don't need anyone to do this, you can handle it yourself.
Believe the people who praise you
Some people just don't know how to take compliments. It sounds strange, but it's true. The reason is that they simply do not believe in kind words. They have a completely different belief in their head that they are wrong and not good. Stop doing that! If someone praises you, believe him! Say "thank you" and smile!
Use visualization
By repeating affirmations and visualizing, you can reprogram your mind. The more you convince yourself that you have a normal self-esteem, or imagine how your life has changed, the more your brain confuses this with reality. Repeat to yourself that you are a good person, that you are worthy of love. Visualize your happiness and feel better.
Take advantage of hypnosis
In order to reprogram consciousness, there are other methods. For example, hypnosis is a very powerful tool. It is enough to get a special disk and listen to it regularly, and your self-esteem can become much higher than before.
List your good qualities and accomplishments
Sometimes we focus too much on our shortcomings, not noticing the positive qualities. Take some time for yourself - sit down and write down your pluses. Whatever it is, write down any advantage, talent, character trait. What have you been able to do successfully in the past? Remember your achievements and understand that you matter to this world.
act
Reading a motivational article can be very interesting, but it won't do you any good if you don't start taking action. Heed all these tips! Start acting! Try something! The path to success begins with one step, so be bold.
