How to forget redundant information. How to forget a bad memory

Sometimes we experience events or situations that we later want to forget or at least not remember. Erase painful, unpleasant and unwanted memories is not so difficult if you fill your life with new emotions and learn to suppress memories from the past. The following instructions will help you start living a fulfilling life, freed from the heavy burden of memories.

Steps

Repression of memories

1. Choose the memory you want to forget. Before you suppress a memory, you need to determine which memory is causing you discomfort. Perhaps this memory hurts you emotionally, for example, if it is related to the death of a loved one or a particular moment of separation from a partner, which makes you sad. Remember the following details of the memory:

   • The people who were present
   • Furnishings of remembrance
   • Feelings you are experiencing at that moment
   • Emotional feelings associated with the memory

2. Determine what is the memory that has had such an impact on you. Remember specific details that you would like to forget.

   • You may not be able to forget about the existence of your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend, but you can forget specific dates, events, and sensual memories. Smelling a particular perfume, mentioning a place or a TV show that your partner liked can all provoke unpleasant associations. Write down specific details on a piece of paper.
   • If you experienced certain traumatic events in high school, make a list of people who made fun of your name, specific places that make you sad, or other sensual details such as the smell of the cafeteria, locker room, or gym, for example.

3. Think about these specific details while doing something enjoyable. You can take classic steps to improve your own physical condition and start associating bad memories with something good. Create a pleasure stimulus by thinking about how you were made fun of in school days, or about the emotional discomfort you felt when you broke up with your loved one, listening to soothing music, taking a bath with scented candles, or drinking champagne and orange juice on your doorstep in summer time.

   • Your task is to make painful memories less bitter. For example, you may refuse to eat pumpkin pie because your parents separated on Thanksgiving, but you can't deal with painful memories unless you learn to associate them with something relaxing, enjoyable, and rewarding.
   • In addition, some experts recommend listening to white noise at high volumes to drown out memories instead of associating them with something pleasant. Turn on a jammed blank radio or other white noise generators and mentally immerse yourself in painful memories.

4. Erase the memory. Special rituals also help deal with memories. Rituals help change our understanding of things and cope with experiences. Mentally imagine a memorable action that "destroys" the memory. You can think of a particular memory as a snapshot that you set on fire. Imagine this picture in full detail: the edges of the picture curl from the fire and turn black, after which they crumble, and the flame moves towards the middle of the picture until it is all reduced to ashes.

   • This sounds like a cheap trick, but it is actually a symbolic action that will help you mentally get rid of the memory if you begin to treat it as something that was, but passed away, burned down.
   • Try to present everything in a different way. Imagine a bully making fun of you in the form of a car sinking in a pond, or a freight train falling into a narrow deep gorge.

5. Go to hypnosis. If you are easily hypnotized, then this tool will help you in the fight against unwanted memories. Hypnosis induces a very relaxed state in which people are more receptive to suggestion. Unfortunately, not everyone can be hypnotized, and even people who are susceptible to hypnosis have only a short-term effect. If you would like to try this remedy, find a professional hypnotist in your area. But be prepared for the fact that this is far from a quick solution to the problem, and you will not be able to permanently erase unpleasant memories from your memory.

   Replacement of memories

   1. Find a fun activity. The simplest and wisest way to get rid of past memories involves experiencing new emotions. Even if you don't do things that are directly related to bad memories, forming new memories will help you put the past out of your mind.

      • Start a new hobby
      • Read a lot of new books and watch a lot of new movies
      • Look for a new job
      • Consider moving to a new apartment or house

   2. Get rid of "annoying factors". Studies have shown that certain objects or photographs have a stimulating effect on memory. Therefore, it is in your best interest to keep away such objects and photographs, which will help you in the fight against unpleasant memories. To remove objects from view, you need to completely transform your home or even move to another city and start a new life.

      • Throw away your ex-boyfriend's belongings, including photos, clothes, and even furniture. Get rid of the gifts he gave you. Even if you have positive feelings about an object or photo, in your mind they are intertwined with memories that you are trying to forget.

   3. Fill your mind with memories that have a similar effect on you. Research has shown that it is possible to remove memories from memory by replacing them with new ones. Use the opportunity to experience new feelings that are similar to those that you experienced before, but want to forget. Your mind will begin to weave and associate these memories, and you will not be able to accurately recall the past, because you will replace the memories of the past with completely new, albeit similar experiences. For example:

      • If you want to forget that bad trip to San Francisco, try a similar trip. Visit San Jose, Oakland, Palo Alto, Los Angeles or Santa Cruz. Buy new T-shirts, take photos on the beach, and visit new restaurants in these cities to get rid of the memories of San Francisco.
      • If you can't forget your ex-boyfriend's cologne, head to the perfume shop. Smell all men's colognes, filling your mind with new sensations and smells.
      • Go on dates. Connecting with new people will help create new memories and forget the past.
   • To get rid of intrusive thoughts, you need to replace them with other thoughts and start thinking about something else that will help you feel better.
   • Try to close your eyes and start meditating, imagining everything that happened to you from a different angle. For example, if you want to forget a memory in which you felt shame, during meditation you need to imagine that you are in your memory, but behave differently, as you should have behaved at that moment.
   • Meditate while listening to soothing music. Just focus on the memory. It will most likely be difficult for you to remain calm if the memory hurts you, but the most important thing here is to calm down and not get angry. After half an hour or so, you will feel that this memory no longer disturbs you. It doesn't mean anything to you anymore.
   • Listening to audiobooks and actively concentrating on the events described helps in the fight against memories. Choose something unobtrusive, but interesting and able to distract you. This method is simple but very effective.
   • Be patient. Each method will take a certain amount of time and require repeating the process to be successful. Don't get discouraged if you don't succeed the first time, keep trying. If necessary, seek help from a specialist.

Every person in his life has such moments that he wants to forget and never return to the memories of them. Unfortunately, the human structure is very complicated, and throwing out all negative memories from consciousness is not as easy as we would like. Memories continue to haunt us, whether we like it or not, and can flood at the most unexpected and inopportune moment, making it difficult to perceive the real world in which everything is fine with us, which is filled with positive and there are no prerequisites for feeling bad. Instead of living a full life, we return to memories over and over again and experience those moments in which we were hurt and bad.

Whether it is possible to correct a situation somehow. If yes, then poisoning our lives?

Human thoughts and memories are stored in the human mind in the form of a kind of "vinaigrette", mixed and does not have a clear structure. They are not something specific, like separate blocks and segments of information. So maybe something can be done in order to structure the memory, and then remove all the burden of negative memories from it? Actually it is possible. Moreover, this can be done without resorting to complex techniques, alcohol or even drugs. All that is required of you is to devote a few minutes daily to special exercises, and very soon you will be able to make sure that there is no trace of your bad memories.

Exercise 1.

Sit comfortably in a chair or bed. Any particular posture is of no importance. The main thing is that you feel comfortable and that nothing distracts your attention for several minutes. You can close your eyes, you can keep them open, it doesn't matter either. Take a few deep breaths and completely relax the muscles of your face, shoulders, and chest. Exercise completed.

Exercise 2.

Try to present your problem in the form of a certain collective image. Concentrate on what exactly you want to permanently throw out of yours and try to imagine it in the form of some kind of image. Do not try to strain in order to get the most clear picture of perfect quality. It is quite enough that you will understand what exactly you see. You can understand how well you coped with the task assigned to you in a simple way - if you did everything right, the image created by your efforts will cause you strong negative ones.

Take a close look at your picture, "attach" a control knob to it, such as on receivers or televisions, and try to mentally stretch your hand towards it. When you succeed, start rotating an imaginary knob, smoothly reduce the sound of the image you created to zero. Then do that de manipulation with the contrast of the image, and then with it, making it become a noiseless black spot. No need to hurry. On the contrary, do everything as smoothly as possible, and when the picture you created disappears, try to get rid of even the background on which it was located. When you succeed, you can consider that the exercise is over.

Exercise 3

Another way to how to forget bad memories is to place the visualization you created in some room in which many lamps and lamps are lit. Start gradually and without haste to turn them off one by one until complete. The main thing in this exercise, as in the previous one, is not to rush, fixing each step in your mind.

As you can see for yourself, there is nothing complicated in the proposed exercises and their implementation is feasible for everyone. Do them for several days for 15-20 minutes, and very soon you will notice that your bad memories have become dull and no longer cause you the same as before. They will practically cease to disturb you, and if they return from time to time, then you will no longer react so violently to them.

Sooner or later, every person is faced with such events that I would like to just forget about. Luckily, there are healthy ways to help yourself deal with negative memories, ranging from ways to get rid of bad thoughts to ways to deal with the anxiety that comes up when bad memories come up.

Steps

Part 1

Avoid contact with those objects and places that cause you unpleasant memories. Have you ever noticed that unpleasant memories come to you when you visit certain places or are near certain objects? You may not even realize that it is they who provoke your thoughts. For example, a bad memory might be about an incident that happened to you in elementary school, and it pops up every time you walk past the school. But if you choose a new route to work that does not pass by the school you went to, you will be more successful in keeping your mind free from bad thoughts.

• If you manage to completely eliminate the triggers of bad memories, over time the bad event will fade in your memory. You will have less reason to recall past memories, and life will replace them with more important thoughts.
• Of course, not all triggers can be completely eliminated, you may just not want to change your way to work or donate your collection of science fiction books to someone, or stop listening to the songs of your favorite band just because the last time you saw the performers live was the night your ex told you he was leaving. If avoiding triggers is not possible, either because there are too many of them, or because you are unwilling to let the quirks of the mind have such an effect on you, there are other ways to deal with memories.

1. Think about a bad event until the thoughts dissipate by themselves. This step helps a lot. The first few times you remember something bad, the negative memories can take you by surprise and leave you feeling anxious and empty. You will instinctively try to avoid thinking about the event as much as possible, but suppressing the memory can make it even more powerful when it does come to mind. Instead of chasing bad thoughts from your memory, allow yourself to remember what happened. Think about it until the memories stop hurting you. In the end, you will stop thinking about them in the same volume, and when the memories do arise, they will no longer be painful. If the memories put a lot of pressure on you, go for a long walk or do some intense exercise.

   • Try to take into account the fact that the event that is the root cause of the memories has long passed. Whatever happened to you (whether you were ridiculed to your embarrassment or you got into a dangerous situation) is a thing of the past.
   • In some cases, brooding over bad memories can become an obsessive habit. Analyze your own emotions that arise when you have bad memories. If you find that even after thinking about the events for a long time, the memories continue to hurt you, try other methods of getting rid of them.

2. Try the method of changing memories. Every time you remember something, the memories change a little. The brain tries to fill small gaps in memories with fictitious information. You can take advantage of this feature of the brain and replace the bad elements of memories with other information. Eventually, an altered version of the memories will begin to surface in memory.

   • As an example, let's say that you have a childhood memory of riding a speedboat called "Dream" with your father across the lake. You remember how your father stood at the stern in red shorts and sunglasses, how he screamed when you leaned too far over the railing and fell overboard into the water. Are you sure that you know all this, but years later, looking at a photograph of that day, you find that the father was in jeans, and the name of the boat was actually "Kingfisher". As you can see, memories are never completely accurate and can change.
   • Try to change the part of the memory that upsets you. Based on the example above, if you remember your fear and loneliness when you fell into the lake, try redrawing the memory in your mind so that all attention is focused on how amazing it was to be rescued by your father.
   • Each time the memory resurfaces, it will change slightly. If at the same time you always begin to focus on good feelings instead of bad ones, then the memory will begin to change accordingly. You may not be able to transform it from bad to amazingly good, but in this way you can deprive the memory of its former pain.

3. Focus on happy memories. Sometimes the brain begins to dig into bad memories so deeply that it becomes difficult to get out of it. If you catch yourself thinking too much about the bad, try to learn to switch to the good memories. Don't give bad thoughts time to ruin your mood or make you worry. Instead, when a bad memory pops up again, forcefully switch to a happier memory. Keep practicing positive thinking until you are no longer automatically swamped by bad memories.

   • Try to match a bad memory with a good match. For example, if you can't stop remembering the time you gave your presentation incoherently in front of the class and everyone laughed at you, complement that memory with another memory when you gave a good presentation and deserved praise. Every time you have a bad memory, shift your thoughts to its positive pair. Having a positive memory prepared in advance will save you from having to panic search for something good in your memory when you feel uneasy.

4. Learn to live in the present. The practice of paying more attention to the current moment in time is called present moment awareness. It involves focusing on what is happening here and now, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Self-awareness is a great way to relieve stress and get more out of life. Instead of wasting time and energy on worrying about what cannot be changed, you can take this burden off your shoulders and just live in the present.

   Part 2

   Creating a positive attitude towards life

   1. Think about what you learned from an unpleasant moment in the past. Even the worst experience has something to teach you. It may take you a long time to understand what you have learned, especially if the event happened recently. But if you look back at it from the present and see how much wiser you have become since then, your bad memory may lose some of its painfulness. Think about whether there is something positive in that event that you did not notice before?

      • Remember that negative experiences are an inevitable part of life. Difficulties make a person stronger and help him to appreciate the pleasant moments more. If there were no bad events, it would simply be impossible to fully enjoy the good moments.
      • Try to count all the things you are grateful for in life. Whatever your loss, expressed as a bad memory, make a list of things for which you are currently grateful for life.

   2. Create new happy memories. Over time, the bad memory will gradually begin to fade in your memory. But this process can be accelerated if you start living life to the fullest and create new good memories that occupy your mind. Do what you enjoy and hang out with people who bring you joy. In the long run, the more positive recent memories are, the less significant past negative thoughts will become in their background.

      • It will be helpful to visit places you have never been before, so that you have a new experience that is not affected in any way by your past. Buy yourself a ticket and travel to a new city for yourself, or become a tourist in your own city, visiting places where you usually do not appear.
      • If travel isn't your forte, change up your routine in some other way. Visit a cafe you've never been to, cook some elaborate meal, or invite all your friends over for a dinner party.

   3. Lead a busy lifestyle. Keep your schedule busy and try to stimulate your brain to be productive so you have less time to think about the bad things. If you tend to spend a lot of time on your own, try to start seeing friends or visiting relatives more often. Distract yourself by reading a good book or pick up a new hobby. The more time you spend sitting and doing nothing, the more likely you are to sink into negative memories. Below are a few distractions to keep you occupied.

      Avoid alcohol and drugs. The use of mind-distorting substances can only make things worse, especially if the bad memory makes you depressed and anxious. Alcohol can increase depression, irritability, and anxiety, especially in people who already experience similar symptoms without it. In order to maintain a positive morale, it is better to completely refuse or limit the use of alcohol and drugs.

      Make your health a priority. When you're immersed in your own negative thoughts, it can sometimes be hard to remember to take care of yourself. But taking care of your own health has a lot to do with the way you think. Eating wholesome and nutritious foods, getting enough sleep at night, and exercising several times a week will lay a good foundation for keeping bad memories out of the way. In addition to meeting the basic needs of the body, take the time to indulge yourself to help relieve symptoms of anxiety associated with your bad memories.

   Part 3

   Overcoming a traumatic experience

   Try to burn the memory. Acknowledge the negative memory and the negative emotions associated with it. It may seem like a counterproductive move, but psychocatharsis (expressing your disturbing emotions) is a key ingredient in healing mental wounds. Suppressing bad memories will only cause them to resurface a little later and possibly become more intense. Allow yourself to feel angry, sad, embarrassed, or hurt. If you feel the need to cry or scream, do so. In the end, you will be able to move to the other side of your feelings, which will be easier to come to terms with than when you ignore your own pain.

   • Consider attending a psychological support group. Try to find a local support group that is related to the problem you are experiencing. For example, there are quite a few support groups for divorce, relationship endings, chronic illness, and so on.
   • If you feel uncomfortable sharing your own story with someone else, write it down in your own diary and keep it in a safe place where no one can find the entries.
   • Symptoms of PTSD include vivid flashbacks of a past event, nightmares, and frightening thoughts.
   • The person may feel emotionally drained, depressed, or constantly anxious due to the fact that he always feels like on pins and needles.

   1. Seek specialized medical treatment. If you feel trapped by your own memories of a traumatic event, there are medical treatments that can help you. These methods are usually used in conjunction with psychotherapy for best results. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss whether medical treatment can help you get rid of bad memories that are negatively affecting your quality of life.

   • Renaming a memory can trick the brain into forgetting it more quickly. For example, instead of calling a memory "bad," call it a "past memory." Mentally repeating the word "bad" will make you feel bad.
   • Don't linger too long in the grief phase. Some period of sadness is quite normal after an upsetting event, but you need to understand when it's time to forget about grief and start living a normal life again.
   • No matter how terrible your memory is, it is in the past. Don't let it affect your present and future, as you can't change the past unless you can travel through time, so leave the past in the past and cheer up!
   • Think joyful. No matter how bad your memories are, focus on the future.

Instruction

The reason for the obsession of memories of a significant person for us is the incompleteness of the action. You communicated in the past and experienced pleasant moments, but for certain reasons your life paths diverged. But the emotional attachment to the person remained, and therefore thoughts regularly arise about the possibility of resuming relations. You can stop returning past events to memory by completing the action.

Write this person a letter. Let it not reach the addressee. It is important that you be as honest as possible about your feelings in the letter. Write down all your thoughts about how dear this person was to you, how you felt next to him. Tell him in a letter how your life is going now and how it has changed since the breakup. This letter must be written down on paper. During the recording process, you work on your feelings. For a long time they accumulated inside you, but did not find a way out. Now you have set them free.

We tend to idealize people from the past. Grievances and negative character traits are gradually forgotten. Only pleasant moments of communication arise in memory. To destroy the ideal, try to find out about this person through acquaintances or through social networks. It is likely that, having collected information about the object of memories, you will realize that it is far from your ideas. Life goes on and it changes people. Now we are noticeably different from those who were 5-10 years ago. Sometimes it happens that the people with whom we enjoyed talking in our youth become completely uninteresting to us in adulthood.

Focus on your present. The past should not weigh you down, as it has already happened and cannot be returned. Let it be left behind. You are here and now. This attitude is the key to a successful life. The ability to discard the burden of the past days in time gives space for action.

Free your material world from oppressive memories. Get rid of all things that remind you of a person. If you still have his personal belongings, photos, gifts and postcards, collect them in a box and hide them away or send them to the trash. Let the things of the past not disturb your soul.

If the breakup happened recently, try a change of scenery. The first weeks are the hardest to get through. Ask to visit your parents or friends. Take a vacation and go on a little trip. Let new pleasant experiences enter your life. Take a new breath, because life is just beginning. A breakup always opens up new possibilities. It returns to reflections on the meaning of life and development prospects. There is a reason to do a general cleaning in the most inaccessible corners of your personality and get out of there long-forgotten resources.

Any person has a past, and often it gives him pain or unpleasant memories. I want to forget them quickly. It often seems that this is impossible. Well, how to forget the past, if it constantly reminds of itself and does not want to leave today's life? If a person lives yesterday, then the "door" to the future will be closed for him. But there are methods, and even several.

Things and memories

For example, you can get rid of those things that constantly remind you of what you want to forget. Or from those who are connected with this past. You can give them away, donate them, or just throw them away. The main thing is that they do not catch your eye and do not evoke memories. Things are easier, but there are cities, places that remind of something. In this case, you should avoid visiting those places, or even move to another city. Even if it's temporary, until the past is behind you. Then when you return it will no longer matter. The same can be said about people. If you need to forget a person, you must avoid meetings and communication.

Time

You can wait for time to heal. Any emotions gradually change to others, there is no constancy here. You just need to wait for time, and then the past will no longer disturb. It's not easy, it takes patience. It will be difficult, but you need to try to distract yourself with something while time heals. To work, friends, some hobbies. The main thing while it heals is not to withdraw into yourself.

Rethinking

A more difficult option is rethinking. Any negative situation always brings positive consequences. The world is harmonious, therefore, taking something away, it gives back more or better. If you lost your job, it means you will find a better job, or you can even start working for yourself and earn much more. In addition, it will be possible to travel the world, in the end, sleep and relax. To understand what was gained in exchange for what was lost, you need to take a pen and a piece of paper, and then describe in detail all the positive aspects of your current situation.

A change of scenery

Change of scenery is another effective way. Change everything you want to forget, change it. You can just go on vacation, live in a tent on the shore, settle in a country house, and if you want to forget a person, start a new relationship. A change of scenery is not necessarily an escape. Moreover, not everyone has such an opportunity. But you can make repairs, change the interior.

Goals

Another way to forget the past is to keep yourself busy. You need to set a goal for yourself. And even if it is difficult, so much the better. For example, organize your own successful business, albeit a small one. Or start a family. This will take a lot of time and effort, and therefore there will simply be no time to think about the past.

Dianetics

You can also use another method. This is Dianetics. The essence of this method is that you need to find free time, get comfortable, relax, and mentally constantly scroll through what torments you. And so several times. At least ten. At the same time, it is necessary to remember and experience exactly what needs to be forgotten. And will be forgotten. Just because you get tired of thinking about the same thing.

How to forgive the past

How to forget and forgive the past, if it is constantly remembered, and resentment seems to eat from the inside. Perhaps it was the person or situation that caused the pain, but in any case, the first step is to find the time and carefully reconstruct the events. Reflect on what caused the conflict. Discuss the situation, if this is not possible, talk to a psychologist. Try to look at the situation from a different angle, as if to "get into the skin" from the other side. Try to understand the motives if it was a person. It is quite possible that you yourself are involved in this, maybe by inadvertently offending someone, and caused that negativity.

You can just throw out your resentment, but not on people and work. For example, sports are great. Or you can selflessly help someone who is in trouble. And remember that by forgiving someone, you first of all help yourself, as you free your future life from negative attachment to the past.

How to forget love

It often happens that a person does not know how to forget past love, well, it doesn’t work out. It is clear that in one moment she is not forgotten, otherwise it was not love.

Past Relationships

Often the question arises: "How to forget past relationships?" First of all, you can not be alone with your feelings. But attempts to constantly blame the other half for the breakup will not lead to good either, since negative feelings are evoked. It's best to just reflect on the mistakes you've made in the relationship. And accept the gap, henceforth not allowing this.

How to forget a past ex love? What to do?

You can not suppress your feelings, this is not an option. You can recognize and experience them, but not resist. The latter will only increase the heartache and will be accompanied by constant memories. After a breakup, anger and anger often ensue. If you leave them in yourself, do not let them come out, then there is a high probability that the relationship will not be forgotten for a long time. Therefore, you need to find a way to throw them out, but not on others.

New attitudes and views

The ideal way to forget the past is to start another relationship. Feelings are constantly updated, fresh ones will be superimposed on the old ones. At the same time, new relationships are different, already pleasant experiences, they will also be updated, and gradually the old relationships will be forgotten. The main thing is not to look back and not try to strive to return what has already passed, since you cannot glue a broken glass, and if you glue it together, then it will definitely not be without flaws.

It happens that the question often arises of how to forget the past life. Everyone who strives for this has their own reasons. But you should always remember that you need to live in the present, life goes on, and events, people, values ​​are constantly changing, new desires and needs appear. It's good when there is something to remember, everyone has their own story. Just don't overuse it. From the past life, it is worth doing only work on the mistakes. And look back only to not make them again. The new cannot be built on the old foundation.

Find a compromise

You can't forget the past, you can only let it go. The difficulty often lies in the fact that a person does not want to change anything. Some people are afraid to start a new life. Initially, you need to decide what exactly is missing for happiness. If you need positive emotions, you can create them yourself for yourself. Buy your favorite book, watch a new movie, finally go on a long-awaited tour, move, change jobs, just come up with a small but pleasant holiday.

How to forget the past? There is a wonderful rule: "here and now." It is easy to decipher. Here is the right place to live. Now is the time to do it. We need to concentrate on what is happening now, as this is much more important at the moment. The past - it will not return, and nothing can be changed there. But the future can be laid out now, brick by brick. But the past will not distract either, since right now there is just a lot of work to build a new one.

What can the past give

It must be remembered that every minute of life is an additional opportunity to do something useful. And if you do not use it, perhaps someday it will not be enough. You need to live for today. What can the past give? Nothing, you can only look into it. Like a bag from which you can take something. For example, a good lesson.

Remembering the past, a person steals from himself not only the future, but even the present. And he does not notice that in life there is so much new and unknown, beautiful. Our century is generally short, every passing day cannot be returned. It is deposited in the past, which, like a piggy bank, simply collects memories. Therefore, it is better to fill this piggy bank with pleasant memories than to push sadness and tears into it.

It happens that girls in love often wonder how to forget a guy's past. First of all, you need to learn to respect both your past and what the other person had before meeting you. If it is the past, then it has already passed, it does not exist. But the person who is nearby is the real one. And possibly the future. You don’t need to cling to the past, it doesn’t exist, you need to learn from it, and it’s better to live today.