The rector of the church in honor of the Exaltation of the Precious and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord in the city of Volsk, Archpriest Mikhail Vorobyov, answers questions about godparents
Is it possible to refuse participation in Baptism? They say that if you refuse to be a godfather, then you refuse the cross.
Of course, it is not worth refusing the cross, which the Lord gives to each person to strengthen his spiritual strength. Yes, this is impossible, because, refusing one cross, a person immediately receives a new one, which most often turns out to be heavier than the previous one. However, the duties of godparents can hardly be considered a moral test, which it is a sin to refuse.
The very name "godparents" (in the order of the sacrament of Baptism they are called more neutrally - godparents) shows that their duties are very serious. They consist in taking care of the proper spiritual development of the godchild, in his upbringing in accordance with the moral principles of the Orthodox faith. Godparents vouch before God that their godson or daughter will grow up to be a decent, worthy, believing person, that he or she will feel the need to live a full church life. In addition, godparents are obliged to help their godchildren in ordinary everyday needs, to provide them with not only spiritual, but also material assistance.
If some circumstances do not allow you to confidently take on such responsibility, if there is no sincere love for the prospective godson in your heart, it is better to refuse an honorary offer to become a godfather.
Two years ago, my relatives asked me to be their godmother. Now they demand gifts from me, tell me where and what to buy, without asking about my current financial situation, what I can or cannot buy. How to be?
Probably, one should remind the godfathers of the Russian proverb: "Stretch your legs according to your clothes." Having become a godmother, you, first of all, accepted the obligation to educate your godson in the spirit of Christian values. Among them, by the way, is moderation in meeting material needs. Try to conscientiously fulfill this basic duty: accustom your child to prayer, read the Gospel with him, explaining its meaning, attend divine services. Gifts, especially those that bring spiritual benefit and delight the child, of course, are also a good thing. But you did not undertake any obligations to fully replace the natural parents. In addition, another proverb is true: “No, and there is no trial.”
Can my sister, whose son I baptized, become a godmother to my child?
Maybe. There are no canonical barriers to this.
My husband and I are not married. But we became the godparents of our relative, who was baptized as an adult. I did not immediately delve into the rite, and then I found out that it was impossible. And now our marriage is falling apart. What to do?!
The circumstance you are talking about can by no means be grounds for divorce. On the contrary, try to save your marriage. If this fails, continue to diligently fulfill the duties of godparents together with your ex-husband.
What should the parents of a child do if his godfather has forgotten about the godson and does not fulfill his duties? How to proceed?
If the godfather is a relative or close friend of the family, it is worth reminding him of the responsibility that he bears before God for the correct Christian upbringing of his godson. If the godfather turned out to be an accidental, and even not a church person at all, one should only blame oneself for a frivolous attitude to the choice of a successor.
In this case, the parents themselves must diligently do what the godfather is obliged to do: educate the child in the spirit of Christian piety, accustom him to participate in worship, and introduce him to the cultural wealth of the Orthodox Church.
Can I adopt my godson's child?
Can; There are no canonical obstacles to the adoption of a godchild.
We decided to take relatives as godfathers: the uncle and cousin of our baby, between themselves they are father and daughter. Please clarify if this is allowed? Let me explain that the choice was made consciously, and it is these people, in my opinion, that can be spiritual mentors for our child.
Your choice is perfectly acceptable if the intended godmother is not a minor child. After all, the recipients take on adult responsibility, they are obliged to educate the godson in the spirit of Christian values, which means that they themselves must know what these values are, love the Church, worship, live the church life.
Is it possible, being already the godfather of the eldest child in the family, to also become the godfather of the youngest?
If the godfather responsibly and conscientiously fulfills his duties in relation to the godson, then he may well become the godfather for his younger brother ( Bulgakov S.V. Table book of the clergyman. M., 1913. S. 994).
Please tell me if siblings can be godparents. And one more thing: can a girl who is 12 years old be a godmother?
Siblings can be godparents of the same child. A twelve-year-old girl can also become a godmother only if she was brought up in the Orthodox tradition, has a firm faith, knows the dogma of the Church and understands the godfather's responsibility for the fate of her godson.
Are there any dogmatic or canonical obstacles to the nepotism of spouses; in other words, can my wife and I be godparents to our friends' child? And can godfather and godfather, who were not married at the time of Baptism, subsequently become husband and wife? I heard that there is no consensus in the Church on this matter.
Article 211 of the Nomocanon forbids a husband and wife to be sponsors of the same child. However, some decisions of the highest ecclesiastical authority of the Russian Orthodox Church (see about this: Bulgakov S.V. Table book of the clergyman. M., 1913. S. 994) cancel the said requirement of the Nomocanon. In the current situation, in my opinion, one should adhere to a more ancient tradition, especially since in the Russian Orthodox Church it has long been considered the only correct one. In the case when the parents of the child certainly want to have his spouses as his godparents, you should apply with a corresponding request to the Ruling Bishop of the diocese in which the sacrament of Baptism is supposed to be performed.
The recipients of the same child, who were not married at the time of Baptism, are not considered to be in spiritual relationship. Therefore, in the future, they can enter into legal marriage without any obstacles ( Bulgakov S.V. Table book of the clergyman. M., 1913. S. 1184).
In fairness, it should be noted that there is an opposite opinion on this matter, which was held, for example, by St. Philaret of Moscow. If the priest refuses to marry the godparents of the same child, one should also contact the Ruling Bishop of the diocese where the marriage is supposed to take place.
Can the godfather have other godchildren?
It is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, when inviting a godfather for your child, you should think about whether he can adequately fulfill his duties, whether he has enough love, mental strength and material resources for the proper Christian upbringing of his godson.
My cousin's son was born 10 years ago with a congenital heart defect. The doctors said that the situation was bad, and the sister decided to baptize him right in the hospital. She lay in a special box, where, except for doctors, no one was allowed. Only a priest was allowed in to baptize the child. It was only later that I was told that I was registered as a godfather. Later, in Moscow, the child underwent an operation, he got to his feet, thank God. And in January, my friend's son was born, and he offered me to become a godfather. Can I be a godfather?
I repeat, it is allowed to have any number of godchildren. However, it should be remembered that the duties of godparents are very serious. Baptism is an ecclesiastical sacrament in which Divine grace itself operates. Therefore, you were not just “written down” as godparents, perhaps without your knowledge, but they made you responsible for the correct Christian upbringing of your godson. Having multiple godchildren is hard enough. But, if you feel love for these children, the Lord will give you spiritual strength and opportunities to become a worthy godfather for them.
Newspaper "Orthodox Faith" No. 7 (459), 2012
Godparents: Who Can Become a Godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? Answers in the article!
Briefly:
- The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main duty godfather - to help the child grow up in the Orthodox faith.
- The godfather must be church man, ready to regularly take the godson to the temple and monitor his Christian upbringing.
- After the baptism is done, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed a lot for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
- Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents for both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
- Godparents cannot be the father and mother of the child, as well as a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
Many of us were baptized as infants and no longer remember what happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or maybe even happier - our own child is born. Then we think again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents for someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.
Replies Prot. Maxim Kozlov to questions about the duties of godparents from the site “Tatiana's Day“.
- I was invited to become a godfather. What will I have to do?
– Being a godfather is both an honor and a responsibility.
The godmother and father, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Of course, a godfather should become a person who also has some experience in church life and will help parents raise a baby in faith, piety and purity.
During the performance of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.
The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help those received from the font grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity to the fact of Baptism alone. According to the teachings of the Church, for how we have taken care of the fulfillment of these duties, we will be asked the same on the day of the last judgment, as well as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very big.
- And what to give to the godson?
- Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, no matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross should be of the traditional form adopted in the Orthodox Church.
In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - this is a silver spoon, which was called a "gift for a tooth", it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he started eating from a spoon.
How do I choose godparents for my child?
– Firstly, the godparents must be baptized, churched Orthodox Christians.
The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of a godfather or godmother should be whether this person can subsequently help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not only in practical circumstances. And, of course, the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship should be an important criterion. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child's church educators or not.
Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?
- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.
- If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to perform the ceremony without him, but write him down as a godparent?
- Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godfathers, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand ducal mercy, agreed to be considered godparents of one or another baby. If it's a similar situation, do it, and if not, it's probably best to go with common practice.
- Who can't be a godfather?
- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on, cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends of the child's parents and no matter how pleasant people they are in communication.
An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are sure of the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian confession: Catholic or Protestant.
According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become sponsors.
- And which of the relatives can be a godfather?
– An aunt or an uncle, a grandmother or a grandfather can become the godparents of their little relatives. It should only be remembered that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it is worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child, help us raise him. In this case, do we not deprive the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important at a time when the child is looking for authority outside the family. The godfather at this time, in no way opposing himself to his parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his relatives.
Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or to baptize a child for the purpose of a normal upbringing in the faith?
- In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either the godparents, or his relatives, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.
As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, godlessness, a blatantly impious way of life - in fact, they say that that a man has failed in his duty as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered terminated by the godmother or godmother, and you can ask another churched pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to bear the care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.
- I was invited to be the godmother of a girl, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first. Is it so?
- The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by in any way.
- They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?
– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who takes a girl from the font will either not marry herself, or it will impose on her fate some imprint.
On the other hand, in this opinion one can also see a certain kind of sobriety, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) are chosen as godparents for the baby, who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, who have something to share with the baby's physical parents. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.
Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?
– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, will you have time to take care of him, for advice to the parents of the baby, in order to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, and in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting off once.
About godparents
Natalia Sukhinina
“Recently, I got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even argued with her. She argued that godparents, like biological father and mother, are obliged to educate their godson. But I do not agree: a mother is a mother, to whom she will allow to interfere in the upbringing of a child. I also once had a godson in my youth, but our paths diverged a long time ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? Something is unbelievable…”
(From a letter from a reader)
It so happened, and my life paths turned in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. Even their names could not be retained by memory, they baptized me long ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they don’t remember themselves, they shrug their shoulders, they say that people lived in the neighborhood at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.
And where are they now, what to call them, to magnify, do you remember?
To be honest, for me this circumstance has never been a flaw, I grew up and grew up, without godparents. No, she was cunning, it was once, envied. A school friend was getting married and received a gold chain as thin as a gossamer as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it, she boasted to us, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I envied it. If I had a godmother, maybe I would ...
Now, of course, having lived and thought, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who don’t even keep in mind that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler in the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. To hold us responsible for the godchildren and goddaughters scattered from their parental nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.
Who doesn't know this picture?
Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, he is passed from hand to hand, they go outside with him, they distract him so that he does not cry. Waiting for christening. They look at the clock, nervous.
Godmother and father can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially concentrated and important. They rush to get a wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle bags of christening clothes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, goggles his eyes at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him”, among which the face of the godfather is one of many. But the father invites - it's time. They fussed, got agitated, the godparents are trying their best to maintain importance - it doesn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s exit to God’s temple is a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, it’s still easy to determine from awkwardness and tension that godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the vaults of the church. Father will ask questions:
- Do you carry a cross?
Do you read prayers?
- Do you read the Gospel?
Do you honor church holidays?
And the godparents will begin to mutter something indistinct, to lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly conscience, remind of the duty of godfathers and mothers, in general, of Christian duty. Hastily and willingly, their godparents will nod their heads, humbly accept the denunciation of sin, and whether from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into their hearts the main father's thought: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now, and forever. And whoever remembers is likely to misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to invest in the well-being of the godson a feasible contribution.
The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp solid banknote - for a tooth. Then for birthdays, as the child grows - a chic set of children's dowry, an expensive toy, a fashionable satchel, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold, to the envy of the poor, chains for the wedding.
We know very little. And it’s not a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the church as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us with, how it is more worthy to prepare for it.
Godfather - in Slavic godfather. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest passes the baby from his hands into the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By perception, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission to lead the godson along the path of ascent to the Heavenly heritage. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember, in the Gospel of John: "Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God."
In serious words - "guardians of faith and piety" - the Church calls the recipients. But to keep, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who, together with the baptized baby, first got into the temple. The godparents should know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again ...”, they must know the “Symbol of Faith”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, to wear a cross, to be able to be baptized.
One priest said: they came to baptize the child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on a cross, but he can’t, unbaptized. It's just a joke, but it's the real truth.
Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But one cannot demand faith and repentance from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called, having faith and repentance, to pass them on, to teach them to their godparents. That is why, instead of babies, they pronounce the words of the "Creed" and the words of renunciation of Satan.
Do you deny Satan and all his works? the priest asks.
“I deny it,” the recipient answers instead of the baby.
The priest is wearing a bright festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, which means spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, all those standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby three times into the font and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, a servant of God, will be handed over to the godparents. And he will be dressed in white clothes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a light robe, put on light, like a robe ...” Accept your child, godparents. From now on, your life will be filled with a special meaning, you have taken on the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you now have to answer to God.
At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become godparents for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl only needs a godmother, a boy only needs a godfather. But life, as it often happens, has made its own adjustments here. According to the ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. It, of course, will not spoil the porridge with oil. But even here it is necessary to know quite certain rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as the parents of a child cannot be godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.
... Behind the baptism of the baby. He has a great life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to those who gave birth to his father and mother. Ahead is our work, our constant striving to prepare the godson for the ascent to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the smallest. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked down from the worries that have fallen on them. They are, as they say, nothing. Now is the time to lend them a helping hand.
Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in the temple, order prayers, constantly, like your own blood children, commemorate in prayers at home. Of course, you don’t have to do it instructively, they say, you are mired in fuss, but I’m all spiritual - I think about the high, I strive for the high, I feed your child, so that you do without me ... In general, the spiritual upbringing of the baby is possible only in if the godfather in the house is his own person, desirable, tactful. It is not necessary, of course, to shift all the worries onto yourself. The duties of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this one cannot be justified before the Lord.
This is a really difficult cross. And, perhaps, you need to think carefully before you lay it on yourself. Can I? Will I have enough health, patience, spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering into life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for an honorary post. Who among them can become a truly good helper in education, who will be able to give your child true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but not at all necessary.
If there is trouble in the house, then there are other criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers, unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. As old as the world, such stories are banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the baptismal font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can turn mountains. Doing good is also good. It is not in our power to drive away a fool-man from half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter or to sing “make peace, make peace, make peace” to two frowning halves. But it is in our power to take away to our dacha for a day at the dacha a boy weary of affection, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there, and to pray. Prayer feat is at the forefront of godparents of all times and peoples.
The priests are well aware of the severity of the feat of the recipients and do not bless to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.
But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are just from there, from childhood loneliness, childish sadness. From a big child's misfortune.
This man's name is Alexander Gennadyevich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children's Rehabilitation Center, or, more simply, in an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, digs through funds for equipping classes, selects cadres from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his wards from the police, collects them in the basements.
Like a godfather, he takes them to church, tells them about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. Pray a lot, a lot. In Optina Hermitage, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveevsky Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He is very tired, this man, sometimes he almost collapses from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, realizing this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in business say about him. Godfather from God - is it possible to say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.
For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and villages, his ministry to children is an example of true Christian ministry. I think that many of us cannot reach its heights, but if we do life with someone, then just with those who understand their title of “grandparent” as a serious, and not an accidental matter in life.
One can, of course, say: I am a weak, busy person, not so hot a church person, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It's more honest and easier, right? Easier - yes. But more honest...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly come to stop, look around, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I owe nothing to my own child. We are indebted to everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them away. Children have grown up and do without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents got old. But conscience - the voice of God - itches and itches.
Conscience requires a splash, and not in words, but in deeds. Can it not be such a thing to carry the duties of the cross?
It is a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of the daughter of my childhood friend was a great and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. Sat down, poured wine, waiting for a toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the parents of the bride skip ahead with the speeches of the groom's parents, they are vice versa. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He got up in a very businesslike way. He raised his glass:
“I mean, as the godfather of the bride…”
Everyone quieted down. Everyone listened to the words about young people living long, together, having many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulia, and from under the luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.
Thank you godfather, I thought. Thank you for carrying the love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding. Thank you for reminding us all of something we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How many - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.
You were invited to be godparents. This is a great honor and a great responsibility. What are the duties of the godfather and godmother, what should be done during and after baptism?
Baptism of an infant. Photo from the site https://dveri.bg/uap64
The main duties of godparents
During the sacrament of baptism, the godparents are obliged to vouch for the faith of the baby and further educate him in the Orthodox faith. The child himself still does not know anything and cannot profess the faith, therefore, godparents make baptismal vows for him. If your faith is not strong enough, you should seriously think before you agree to take on the duties of a godfather. After all, in the future you will have to answer to God not only for yourself, but also for your godson.
Godparents pray for their godson all their lives. While the child is small, they teach him the Orthodox faith, try to make him visit the church more often, take communion, explain the meaning of worship, talk about the saints, about icons, about Orthodox holidays. When a child becomes a teenager, it is godparents who should especially take care of his moral condition. This explains the choice of godparents - a boy certainly needs a godfather, and a girl needs a godmother, the presence of a second godfather is not mandatory. With the godfather of the same sex, it is easier for a teenager to discuss some personal issues, problems that he, perhaps, does not dare to talk about with his parents.
What should godparents do before the sacrament of baptism
Future godparents, together with the parents of the baby, agree on the place and time of baptism. Before the sacrament, you will need to go through a categorical conversation, or “interview” in the temple where baptism will be performed. There may be several such conversations. They set out the basics of the Orthodox faith, which every Christian needs to know.
Who exactly will buy a baptismal set, a pectoral cross and an icon does not make a fundamental difference. If the godparents want to make a gift to the godson, they can take part of the costs themselves.
Some wealthy people order a measured icon - this is an icon painted to order, on a board, corresponding to the growth of the baby at birth. It depicts a saint whose name is given to the child.
More often they buy an icon in a church shop: for a boy - the Savior, for a girl - the Mother of God. You can choose any icon, based on your desires, tastes and means. But it should be borne in mind that this icon will be with the godson all his life. In the old days, it was customary to bless a grown child for marriage with this icon. Entering into family life, the bride and groom each brought their own icon with them, and they formed the so-called “wedding couple” of icons. Based on this, it is better to buy not the smallest icon (on which you can barely see the image), but a slightly larger one (usually they choose approximately the size of a book) and in a frame. But, I repeat, there are no strict rules here, and if you are very constrained in means, an expensive icon is not at all an end in itself.
When choosing a cross for a child, you should not buy the tiniest one. It seems very suitable for such a baby, but after all, the baby will grow up, and the tiny cross, especially on a man, will look completely different. It is better to buy a medium-sized cross.
A baptismal set, as a rule, can be bought at a church shop at the temple. It includes a diaper with an embroidered cross, a shirt and a scarf for a girl.
The sacrament of baptism. Photo from the website of photographer Nadezhda Smirnova http://www.fotosmirnova.com/kreschenie
Responsibilities of godparents at baptism
Godparents should know by heart Symbol of faith which contains all the main truths of Orthodoxy. It will need to be read during the sacrament of baptism:
I believe in one God the Father, Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, visible to all and invisible. And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Only Begotten, who was born of the Father before all ages; Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, uncreated, consubstantial with the Father, Whom all was. For us for the sake of man and for our sake of salvation, he descended from heaven and became incarnate from the Holy Spirit and Mary the Virgin, and became human. Crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered, and was buried. And resurrected on the third day according to the Scriptures. And ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of the Father. And the packs of the future with glory to judge the living and the dead, His Kingdom will have no end. And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Life-Giving One, who proceeds from the Father, Who with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified, who spoke the prophets. Into one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. I confess one baptism for the remission of sins. I look forward to the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the age to come. Amen.
During the sacrament, the godparents hold the baby in their arms (if the child worries and cries, it is allowed to hold him to his own mother, there is no violation in this). The most important moment is when the godfather takes the godson from the font from the hands of the priest. Therefore godparents are otherwise called godparents. The godfather should take the boy from the font, the godmother should take the girl.
The sacrament of baptism is a great event in the life of every person, and especially for a child. All the obligations that the sponsors take on before God are very serious and responsible. That's why (this is very important) godparents, duties who are in the understanding of this responsibility, must convey to their godfather all the knowledge about the saving Sacraments of the Church, such as Confession and Communion, and also convey knowledge about the meaning of worship. The duties of godparents also include the transfer of knowledge about the meaning of the church calendar, about the miracles of church icons and other shrines.
Responsibilities of godparents - how to do it right and what to do?
As soon as the child plunges into the font, from that moment on, the responsibility passes to the recipients. Now the "second" parents will have to attend church and worship with the baby, teach 
keep the church rules. But the main thing is to pray for your godson both in joy and in sorrow. Always be there for you in difficult times. What are the main responsibilities of godparents at baptism? Even from the font, they must convey to them or help them find a new life path. The godfather must buy a cross. The chain, as a rule, is not bought, since according to customs, the baby wears a cross on a string or ribbon. Just like every conscious believer, the recipients need to know the following prayers: "Our Father", "Symbol of Faith", "Our Lady of the Virgin"!
Parents, as well as the godson, must be ready for the sacrament of baptism. Recipients must know the basics of Orthodox teaching, as well as piously treat the rules of Christian piety. Such important events as Fasting, Confession and Communion for godparents are not strictly obligatory, but the believer must adhere to them. All this must be correctly conveyed to the godson. If he is a baby, then love for the church will be instilled from a conscious age. A very good sign will be the reading of the prayer of the Creed by one of the recipients. For the godson, the prayer is read by gender: for the girl - the godmother, for the boy - the father.
Before Baptism, it is advisable to confess, because it is important that not only thoughts are pure, but also the soul. There must be consecrated crosses on the body. Those invited must bring donations to the church. This is not necessary, but you should not neglect the customs.
Godparents should be aware of such responsibilities!
From this day on, the godchildren must protect the godson from all sorts of temptations and temptations. This is the most dangerous for children and adolescents. In the future, the godparent can help with choosing a profession. important 
will be advice when choosing a life partner. The Russian Church teaches that it is the chosen godparents who prepare the wedding for the godson. It is worth noting that even in case of physical suffering, godparents should provide assistance and this is done first of all, and brothers, sisters, grandparents help only later! A spiritual connection is stronger than a physical one!
The duties of godparents for a girl are no different from those for a boy. However, girls are given a little more attention, as they are taught humility and faith, which leads directly to submission. For a girl, the chosen godmother is the second closest person, because she can replace the physical mother. It is the responsibility of the mother to buy a kryzhma or rizka - this is a special towel in which the baby is wrapped after the font.
If godparents treat their duties lightly, then this becomes a grave sin of the soul. This is what will pass on the fate of the chosen godson. Do not become a godchild, if you cannot take such a big responsibility on yourself, you should not accept an invitation to a second godson. Physical parents should also not take rejection as a snub or insult. After all godparents duties must perform fully and with a pure soul.
Note that all people must be churched, otherwise: how can a godson go to church with a godfather? All major 
the positions that should be instilled in the godchild are love, humility, condescension, patience and continuous work in the spiritual upbringing of your baby - all this is the main duties of godparents! All this is also the main proof of the truth of Orthodoxy for the godson and for the godparents.
You can find out in advance how to behave correctly in the temple during the Sacrament of Baptism. Most importantly, you need to buy the right baptismal kit. If it is bought by one of the parents, then this will not be considered a mistake. Only the meaning of the reception itself is important, it is important to be present during the performance of the Sacrament. Of course, both parents must give their consent. Without godparents, baptism is performed only in special cases, for example, if the child's life could be in serious danger.
More about godparents
The sacrament of baptism relates a person to the One Apostolic Church. Orthodox teaching has its own specific doctrinal principles, from which it is impossible to deviate. That is why only people of the same faith can become guarantors of the godson. Recipients assume the responsibility to educate only the Orthodox faith. A person with other religions simply cannot do this.
As soon as the baptism takes place, the parents and the baby will become spiritually closer, become related. This is mandatory, godparents fulfill their duties to the fullest. And such spiritual kinship belongs to the first degree and is fully recognized by the church and its canons!
It is worth noting that such kinship becomes stronger than biological. Between themselves, these two concepts become practically incompatible. An important point is that parents who have adopted a child cannot become godparents for him. This is explained by the fact that they will acquire the closest relationship between themselves and will not be able to continue marital cohabitation.
Christ.
After the baby is immersed in the baptismal font, the godfather takes him from the hands of the priest. Hence the Slavic name - recipient. Thus, for the rest of his life, he takes upon himself the obligation to educate the child in the Orthodox spirit, and the answer for this upbringing will be given at the Last Judgment.
At the Baptism of infants, the recipients pronounce (profess) instead of them the Symbol of Faith, pronounce vows and have care for teaching the faith and morality of those they have accepted ( ; , ).
The custom of having a sponsor at Baptism goes back to ancient Apostolic Tradition.
The presence of two recipients is a Russian tradition. According to the rules of the Church, one godfather is enough: a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. In practice, gender mismatch is allowed.
In the Sacrament of Baptism, the godparents promise God to bring the baby to Him. It's important to remember this.
Who can be godfather
- The godfather (grandparent) must be an Orthodox Christian. The godfather cannot be from the Church (who does not regularly take communion), a representative of another religion or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know and read it at Baptism, but also the spiritual upbringing of the godson in the future, daily prayer for him.
- The godfather must be a churched person, ready to regularly take the godson to the temple and educate him in the Christian faith.
- After the Sacrament of Baptism is performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he is missing or has fallen away from the faith.
- Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.
- The father and mother of the child cannot be godparents, and also the husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child, other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
A person should only have one godparent. According to, only one godparent is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. The presence of a second godfather is an unwritten, albeit ancient, custom of the Church.
– Monks and nuns are not allowed to receive reception.
- The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the full-time presence of the recipients during its commission. In extreme cases, Baptism of infants is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered a godfather.
- Marriages between the baptized and the recipient are forbidden: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter ().
It is reckless to invite a non-church person as a godfather: what can one teach who does not know the subject himself? It's like choosing a guide on a dangerous journey, where the price of the issue is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.
It is just as unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a baby in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but are not going to become churched, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.
If you are invited to be a godparent by parents who are not only not opposed to baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to take a vow from your parents to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for your children, come with them to the temple, try to take communion with them weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechism classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or consider Baptism as a magical rite.
According to an ancient church rule, during the baptism of infants, only one godfather was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Book of Books, ch. 5, “see”). The rule about “being at Baptism to one godfather” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom has become widespread at Baptism to be two godparents: the godfather and the godmother.
Only Orthodox godparents or godparents have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are commemorated in prayers and are included in the baptismal certificates. Receiver " represents the face of the person being baptized and for him vows to God, creates, the Symbol confesses and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither the ignorant in faith nor the infidel can do» (Book on the offices of parish presbyters, 80).
In accordance with the practice of the ancient Church, just as non-Christians are never allowed to receive children, so it is indecent for an Orthodox person to be the recipient of children from non-Christian parents, except in cases where children are baptized into the Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church do not provide for such a case as participation in baptism as a recipient of a person.
The insane, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners and those who came to the temple in a state of intoxication cannot be godparents. For example, those who, due to negligence, have not been at confession and Holy Communion for a long time, cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be godparents, since they are still incapable of teaching and unsteady in understanding the faith and the power of the Sacrament (except in cases where it is absolutely impossible to have an adult godparent).
Ancient Russian did not know such a rule that would eliminate the monks from receiving. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand-ducal and royal children were mostly monks. It was only later that the monks were forbidden to receive, because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Big Trebnik). Parents cannot be godparents from the Baptismal font of their own children. It is inconvenient for a woman who is in the usual cleansing to be a recipient. In such cases, Baptism can be postponed or another hostess can be invited.
Church rules do not forbid a brother and sister, as well as a father with a daughter or a mother with a son, to be godparents of the same baby. At present, priests do not allow a husband and wife to receive the same baby together. In order to prevent violations of the existing rules regarding godparents, the priest usually finds out from the parents in advance who they want to have godparents for their children.
Prayers for godchildren
Prayer for children and for godchildren, father
Sweetest Jesus! God of my heart! You gave me children according to the flesh, they are Yours according to your soul. You have redeemed both my soul and theirs with Your priceless Blood. For the sake of Your Divine Blood, I beg You, my sweetest Savior, by Your grace touch the hearts of my children (names) and my godchildren (names), protect them with Your Divine fear, keep them from bad inclinations and habits, direct them to the bright path of life, truth and of good. Decorate their lives with everything good and saving, arrange their fate as you yourself want and save their souls with their own destinies! Lord God of our fathers! Give my children (names) and godchildren (names) a right heart to keep Your commandments, Your revelations and Your statutes. And do it all! Amen.
On the upbringing of children by good Christians: Prayer of parents to the Lord God
God, our merciful and heavenly Father!
Have mercy on our children (names) and godchildren (names), for whom we humbly pray to You and whom we commit to Your care and protection.
Give them strong faith, teach them to revere You, and make them worthy to love You, our Creator and Savior.
Guide them, O God, on the path of truth and goodness, so that they do everything for the glory of Your name.
Teach them to live piously and virtuously, to be good Christians and useful people.
Give them health of mind and body and success in their labors.
Deliver them from the cunning machinations of the devil, from numerous temptations, from bad passions and from all kinds of wicked and disorderly people.
For the sake of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother and all the saints, bring them to the quiet harbor of Your eternal Kingdom, so that they, with all the righteous, always thank You with Your only begotten Son and Your life-giving Spirit.
Amen.
Prayer to the Lord God, compiled by the reverend
Lord, You are One in all weight, You can do everything and want to be saved by everyone and come to the understanding of Truth. Enlighten my children (names) with the knowledge of Thy truth and Thy Holy will, strengthen them to walk according to Thy commandments and have mercy on me a sinner.
Amen.
Merciful Lord, Jesus Christ, I entrust to You my children whom You have given me, fulfill my prayer.
I ask You, Lord, save them in ways that You Yourself know. Save them from vices, evil, pride, and let nothing that is contrary to You touch their souls. But grant them faith, love and hope for salvation, and may their life path be holy and blameless before God.
Bless them, Lord, that they strive every minute of their lives to fulfill Your Holy will, so that You, Lord, may always be with them by Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, teach them to pray to You, so that prayer would be their support, joy in sorrows and consolation of their lives, and so that we, their parents, would be saved by their prayer.
May your angels always keep them.
May my children be sensitive to the grief of their neighbors, and may they fulfill Your commandment of love. And if they sin, then vouchsafe them, Lord, to bring repentance to You, and You, in Your inexpressible mercy, forgive them.
When their earthly life ends, then take them to Your Heavenly Abodes, where let them bring with them other servants of Your chosen ones.
Through the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary and Your saints (all holy families are listed), Lord, have mercy on us, for you are glorified with Your Beginningless Son and with Your Most Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and forever and ever.
Amen.
Does it really teach about the inadmissibility of marriage between godparents according to the 211th article of the Nomocanon?
Obstacles to marriage and reception at baptism. Grigorovsky S.P. Publishing Council of the Russian Orthodox Church. 2007. With the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. pp. 49-51. Quote from there:
« At present, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [which points out the inadmissibility of marriage between godparents] has no practical significance and should be considered cancelled... in any spiritual relationship and therefore forbid them to marry among themselves».
Prof. Pavlov, in his course on Church Law, comments on the problem of the spiritual kinship of the beneficiary and the gossip of one child and marriage between them:
“... several rules of apocryphal origin and strange content (for example, rule 211, which forbids a husband and wife to be godparents of the same baby, under pain of being separated from marital cohabitation). The Holy Synod, already in the first years of its existence, began to treat such rules with great doubt and often made decisions that were directly opposite to them, especially in matters of marriage.
In December 2017, a document was adopted at the Bishops' Council of the Russian Orthodox Church, which states: " Marriages between godparents can be performed with the blessing of the diocesan bishop (subject to the decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837)".
Can pregnant and unmarried women become godparents?
Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents for both boys and girls; there are no canonical prohibitions on this. All prohibitions refer exclusively to dense popular superstitions and have no force for Christians.
At what age is a godfather not needed?
Persons over 14 years of age.
How to baptize a child if one or more family members are against it?
“You should try to bring such people to a meeting with the priest. The main thing here is to understand what is inside a person, why he refuses to baptize his child. If people are atheists, it can be difficult to convince them and make them give up their views. But it is still possible to convince of the need for a calm and loyal attitude to the fact of the baptism of a child.
