Not all girls have self-confidence, which often turns into difficulties for them in their careers and personal lives. Is there a way to acquire this quality if it has not been instilled since childhood?
Signs of an insecure person
- Rapid, chaotic, or slurred speech. You are embarrassed to express your opinion, and if this happens, it is clear that you are uncomfortable. The doubtful intonation in the voice of a shy person and interlocutors makes one doubt her words. Distracted look. You rarely make eye contact and are generally uncomfortable with being looked at and afraid of eye contact. However, please note that when you look into the eyes of the interlocutor, then he has no choice, he also looks into your eyes. If you constantly look away, then the person has more opportunities in the meantime to explore all the shortcomings (fictitious or real) that give you self-doubt. Clumsiness. When talking, you do not know where to put your hands, how best to sit down and the like. Because of your chaotic movements, some objects can often fall, you touch the interlocutor with your hands or stumble out of the blue. Closure. Girls who feel insecure most often prefer to lead a secluded lifestyle. If this is your case, then it means that you are trying to avoid the company of unfamiliar people, and other people's attention, first of all, does not flatter you, but makes you tense. Too inconspicuous or provocative clothes. Most often, girls who would do well to gain more self-confidence prefer to wear things that do not attract much attention - they do not seek to emphasize sexuality or femininity, being afraid to look ridiculous. In more rare cases, there may be another extreme - the girl puts on defiant things, thereby trying to hide her complexes.
How to learn to be more confident
1. You should find a hobby or occupation in which you can achieve good results. Think about what you have a predisposition to, and get on with it. Perhaps as a child you were good at drawing, sewing or dancing. Get back to this activity! A person who is successful in some area of life (hobby or work) is more confident in himself. 2. Do not ignore problems that you could have solved long ago if not for your insecurities. It would not hurt you to go to the dentist for a long time, but you are embarrassed, starting the problem more and more? You need to definitely talk to some unpleasant person, but you are trying in every possible way to delay this moment? There can be many such examples. Until you solve the problem that has arisen, it will remain in your thoughts, and, therefore, in your life. Get over your fear and the problem will remain in the gap. Many difficulties are solved in minutes, and instead you spend weeks and months worrying. 3. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. Others may treat you differently than you expect, solely because they are unaware of your sincere expectations. Feel free to speak out loud information about what you want from other people. Pre-formulate the thought in your head, say it to yourself several times, and then confidently and calmly voice it. 4. Deal with adversity with dignity. Having survived the betrayal of a loved one, faced with an illness or some kind of resentment, do not give up, but try to analyze the situation. Such shocks are not an occasion for depression, but for becoming stronger in the face of life's adversities. 5. Forget self-pity. You should love yourself, but don't be sorry. This feeling does nothing to improve self-esteem. If any trouble happened to you, you do not need to lament over your difficult fate, climbing even deeper under your “shell”. Sometimes resentment and anger at the fact that you are so ridiculously put in a similar situation can be much more useful and productive. 6. Take care of your appearance. It has long been no secret to anyone that the better a woman looks, the more confident she feels. Probably, you have noticed more than once that, having made a successful hairstyle or buying a new thing that suits you, you feel differently. If such successful innovations in your appearance will occur regularly, then this will undoubtedly have a positive effect on your self-esteem. 7. Circle of friends. Note that the wider your social circle, the better for you. Frequent communication with the opposite sex will positively affect your personal life. Regularly in many cities, and perhaps in yours, there are events where you can meet other people - exciting excursions, trainings and master classes.
How to become a more determined and calm woman
A calm and self-confident woman often causes only respect and admiration. Is it easy to become such a woman? Fighting negativity. You must not give in to negative emotions. Suppress the habit of criticizing other people and becoming annoyed because of their attitude towards you. Think about what makes the offenders do this or that, what deep motives they actually pursue. Talk openly and calmly with the person who is causing you a negative reaction - find out exactly what he is trying to achieve. If possible, keep your meetings to a minimum. Stop being offended. Perhaps resentment is one of the most unconstructive feelings that are characteristic of children, but very strange for adults. In response to some act that offended you, you should not withdraw into yourself and move away from the person - explain to him that his act hurt you. Argument this. Learn to build a dialogue, conveying your desires through it. Control emotions. If you feel that you are on the limit, and you are having a hard time coping with your emotions, mentally collect your thoughts. If appropriate, just walk out of the conflict zone by telling the person calmly and without offense, “Let's get back to this conversation later. I have to go now". If we are talking about a brewing quarrel with a stranger, then also try to turn off the conversation as soon as possible. Be calm. Even if there are millions of thoughts, doubts or indignation inside you, try not to show it outwardly. Breathe evenly using your diaphragm. Inhale slowly and exhale for a few minutes. Step aside and take a few deep breaths. Concentrate not on negative emotions, but on your breath.Take a break. If something upsets or angers you, then find an opportunity to distract yourself from it. Take the example of Jane Eyre, and tell yourself what you will think about it tomorrow, or at least a little later. In the meantime, do something more pleasant for yourself - call a loved one with whom you enjoy talking, watch a good movie, go to a concert, etc. Do some sports. Many women and men who play sports are much better than others in dealing with their negative emotions. This is not surprising, since during training on simulators, wrestling, swimming or fitness, stress is significantly relieved.
When you need to be bold or self-confident
Of course, it’s great if you become a calm and reasonable girl, but often this is not enough for self-confidence. Sometimes it is necessary to demonstrate to others that you are capable of insolence. Do not confuse with hysteria! So when is it appropriate? 1 - Insult. If someone is clearly trying to hurt you more, then you need to make it clear to the offender that you do not intend to tolerate this. Learn to take a hit, and respond to outright rudeness in the same vein. Of course, you should not slide down to “bazaar showdowns”, it is advisable to be able to put a person in his place with one or two phrases, like: “It's none of your business”, “Your behavior is tactless” and the like. 2 - Disrespect. When a salesperson is deliberately ignoring you, when friends or relatives are obviously taking advantage of you, or when other similar situations of disrespect occur to you, you may well be insolent - once calmly and firmly stated what you think about the person. If this does not bring results, start avoiding communication with him. 3 - Game. Insolence and self-confidence can be used in completely harmless forms. It can be a playful conversation with a lover - and you and he understand that this is just flirtatiousness, and both of you like it.What is the difference between arrogance and confidence
What can be called arrogance? Perhaps this is a violation of established norms of behavior, for the sake of obtaining one's own benefit. Let's define the signs by which you can distinguish arrogant behavior from confident.The behavior of arrogant people
Ignoring established standards of conduct. An example would be climbing to the checkout window without a queue, borrowing some things without demand from their owner, and the like. Absence of shame. An arrogant person doesn't care what anyone else thinks of him. He does what is beneficial to him, without regard to the opinions of others. Tactlessness. Insolent persons almost always have their own opinion on a particular situation, which they are ready to express even against the will of other people. Own interests at any cost. If they need something, they will do everything to achieve it, while having “nothing sacred”. They may ignore the fact that their actions cause significant harm to other people, even if they are children or the elderly.I will be bolder - I will become strong
In fact, by resorting to brazen behavior, you can quickly get some benefit, but later it can turn against you. The reputation of an impudent person does not paint anyone - such people cause irritation and a repulsive impression. Insolence has nothing to do with self-confidence, because the second is usually based on self-esteem, which is unnatural for arrogance.What psychologists say
- Most often, self-doubt can go back to childhood. Perhaps someone instilled this quality in you in your youth or junior school years - teachers, peers, or even relatives. It is important to realize that now you are an adult, and all those situations are in the past. It is much worse if there are people in your life who develop certain complexes in you. You need to avoid communicating with such personalities in every possible way, and if possible, completely exclude contacts with them (unless we are talking about a family member). Try to communicate more often with those who inspire confidence and self-confidence in you. Notice which people your mood rises in the company of, and initiate contact with them more often. Pamper yourself more often and give yourself gifts. Very often, self-doubt begins with appearance, and it is up to you to improve it. Head to the salon for new beauty treatments, massages. Pay attention to your hair, take care of your skin. Surround yourself with good quality things. It is better to buy things less often, but more expensive. You should feel confident in your clothes - no worn, untidy, irrelevant size. Things should increase your self-esteem, and not make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Open new horizons for yourself - take on interesting hobbies, travel to other countries or cities. If you constantly develop in any direction, then your self-esteem will inevitably grow. Learn to express your thoughts clearly and confidently. Practice in front of a camera or a mirror, watching how you look from the side. The camera is sometimes even more useful, you will not be able to keep yourself under control like in front of a mirror, and you will be able to understand how others see you. An insecure person is often betrayed by posture and gait. If you understand that you also have problems with this, but you should work hard on these points. Constantly control your posture until it becomes a habit. Ask someone to film your walk. Study it, and when you see the shortcomings, try to correct it until you bring it to the ideal. Do not forget, while walking, look not at your feet, but straight ahead. Your movements should be calm, smooth and confident. Try to start looking like a confident girl, and over time you will become one.
Let's start with the wording. The explanation given by psychologists is rather complex and confusing, and goes something like this: a confident person makes demands, interacts with others in achieving his goals and achieves them. He also allows himself to have these requests, allows himself to express feelings, has sufficient skills to achieve goals.
Pretty tricky, but generally understandable.
For those who are constantly struggling with the question: How to be yourself?”, the characteristics of the basic qualities of a self-confident person will also be useful. Let's take a look at them.
1. Self-confident person distinguishes open emotional speech. He does not hesitate to express feelings, does not speak in hints, does not try his statements.
2. Confident man expresses emotions according to feelings. Joy or shock does not try, does not whisper or mumble.
3. Self-confident personality is not afraid of confrontation and boldly goes on the attack. This does not mean that you should lash out at the interlocutor. Everything is much simpler: have the courage to express your opinion without thinking about how others will perceive it.
4. Confident person speaks specifically and definitely, is not afraid to say "I" and take responsibility.
5. Self-confident person such actions as underestimation of one's own capabilities, underestimation of oneself and one's knowledge, lack of confidence in one's abilities, as well as business and personal qualities, are not inherent. Also, a confident person with dignity endures criticism and listens to praise with pleasure.
6. Confident man able to improvise. He is not afraid to show emotions that have suddenly arisen, to show affection or antipathy.
The most common question is: How to be self-confident?» busy people with a certain number of complexes. For such cases, there are special trainings and advice from psychologists. We can talk about complexes endlessly, but we will consider the main situations when this question may arise. And also learn about some tricks that help solve the issue, how to be confident.
How to be confident at work?
Studies show that uncertainty about one's professional qualities in the process of work can arise during goal setting, at the stage of drawing up an action plan, in the course of work, as well as in the correctness and evaluation of the result of work.
Everything is simple here. Try to formulate the goal as clearly as possible and do not undertake to do the impossible. Always have a well thought out plan of action. Know how to take into account past actions and, as you go, change current plans and actions in accordance with this. Do not be afraid to take responsibility, take the initiative, and then the question how to be confident will fall off by itself.
Don't allow yourself wrong thoughts like, "I can't do it." On the contrary, repeat to yourself more often: “I am successful in everything I undertake”, “I succeed in everything”.
How to be confident in relationships with people?
Let's say that everything is in order at work, but you don't know how to present yourself in an unfamiliar company. You try to be quiet and inconspicuous, hiding in the corner, because you are not sure that someone might be interested in you. You grow old to talk less because you are not sure that you will be listened to at all.
In such cases, it would be good to take the advice of psychologists and engage in the development of confidence every day.
Start with the simplest - greetings. Practice at home in a relaxed environment to say greetings confidently and clearly.
Learn to speak loudly
Practice unhurried measured speech with pauses that are sure to attract attention. Do this mentally - just lying down with your eyes closed. Then practice in front of a mirror by speaking out loud.
If you have absolutely no idea how to be confident and manifest it outwardly, watch those who have this quality. Choose the one you like and like or appreciate the actions of your favorite movie character. See how he walks, talks, gesticulates.
Learn to look the other person in the eye. This can also be done in front of a mirror, or find a friendly partner who is privy to your problems and work on it.
Everything that you have learned, at first it is better to work out among familiar pleasant people and familiar surroundings, and only then go out with it to strangers.
If you ever managed to notice that you behaved confidently, try to remember this moment as best as possible. Keep it in your memory to the smallest detail and mentally repeat it. What did you say? What did you feel about it? How were you holding up? What gestures and facial expressions did you use?
When you get bored, try to try on the same feelings and external manifestations of confidence in another situation.
Exercise regularly, imagining yourself as a fully confident person, playing different situations, including unpleasant ones. After all, most of the time we think how to be confident precisely after failures in difficult or ridiculous situations.
Imagine how you answer the interlocutor's questions, ask your own (think about what you could ask so as not to faint from fear), tell an interesting story - imagine mentally how you do it, how people behave. At the same time, watch your voice, intonations, body position, gestures.
Such exercises are best done every day several times. Half an hour is enough for one lesson - otherwise you will get too tired. Remember that this is not a game, but rather hard work and the first results may appear only after a few weeks.
How to be confident in difficult life situations?
It is no secret that as a result of an illness or some difficult life circumstance, a person who was quite prosperous up to that moment may lose confidence in himself, in his future. In such cases, the professional help of a psychologist, group training for people with a similar situation is more suitable.
But you can also do something yourself.
Remember that what happened to you is just a change in life.. A person changes, as do the circumstances around him. No matter how bad the change is, accept it, don't be afraid of it, try to benefit from it.
Reassure yourself that everything is going well and life is on your side.. It really is. If something bad happened, it is most often impossible. Attempts to fight postpone the moment of understanding the situation and accepting new conditions, make it difficult to understand the situation and quickly adapt to a new life.
Whatever happens, do not blame yourself, approve of your actions. Accept and love yourself, tell yourself that you did everything you could in this situation.
Consider the circumstances, put it on the shelves and answer the question, what scares you the most? Formulate positive affirmations yourself that will help you deal with fear and insecurity.
If the question is: How to be confident? has been tormenting you for a long time, you most likely will not spare the time and effort to work on yourself. But do not try to achieve everything at once and do not start applying the acquired skills in life too early. For a while, you will only be a confident person at home in front of a mirror, or by exercising in a relaxed pose on the couch. And surrounded by people, everyone will also be busy with the question of how to be self-confident.
Alexandra Panyutina
Women's magazine JustLady
Mark Twain
There is no such person who would not want to be self-confident, because confidence plays a very important role in our life, it depends on what our life will be - successful or unsuccessful. You know this very well, and I know it, therefore, despite the articles already on this site on this issue, I return to it again and plan to return in the future until all my materials help you, dear readers, gain confidence in yourself. Together we will achieve success with you in this business! You will definitely become a very self-confident person, and then many doors will open before you, you will begin to live a full life, you will be able to realize many of your dreams and desires, you will fully realize yourself and become a happy person.
There are many ways to become a confident person that I wrote about earlier and not only me. All of them in one way or another need attention to themselves, they all need to be worked out. But there are ways that more than others have a positive impact on a person’s self-confidence, and in this article we will talk about one of these ways. We will talk about perhaps the most important way to increase self-confidence - about our victories and successes, which each of us should strive for. A successful person, a winner, will always be confident in himself, because he will feel his strength, thanks to his successes and victories. And success and victory, in turn, will depend on confidence, thanks to which a person can achieve his goals in spite of any difficulties. In general, friends, you and I need to understand all these relationships so that you know exactly what and why you need to do in order to gain confidence.
First of all, a person needs to learn how to properly relate to his failures, defeats, mistakes, mistakes, he needs to learn to understand them. His ability to achieve success in various matters will depend on this. After all, it is through failures, defeats and mistakes that the path to success lies. And in order to overcome this path, you need to be able to withstand the blows of fate and not give up. Then success is inevitable. But it is difficult, especially for people with a weak character. If a person constantly fails in various things, his self-confidence will fall. This is natural, natural and quite normal, since any failure shows a person his weakness and inability to live, therefore he cannot rely on himself, cannot believe in himself, in himself and in his strength. But he must understand that if he does not give up and continues to fight, then his perseverance and perseverance will sooner or later be crowned with success, it is they who will allow him to win and come to success. Therefore, difficulties must either be overcome, if there is strength for it, or, if it is not possible to overcome them, then you need to bypass and go around them, and for this you need to be smart enough, flexible, prudent, cunning person. So it is quite possible to compensate for a weakness of character with a mass of other qualities, but first these qualities need to be developed in oneself. This whole thing is acquired, you can make a winner out of any person, I am absolutely sure of this. The main thing is to find an approach to each person. Remember that winners are not born, they are made. And self-confidence is not a gift from God, but a consequence of the correct development of a person. It is important to understand that never and under no circumstances should one give in to difficulties, one must fight, one must look for opportunities, one must endure until at least an insignificant positive result is achieved, which instills in a person hope and faith in ultimate success. Therefore, learning the ability to overcome difficulties and achieve your goals - you need to start with small victories, but at the same time, it is desirable to ensure that they are regular, then the degree of confidence in a person will slowly but surely grow.
If a person succeeds in life, if he wins, his self-confidence grows, he trusts himself, he sees his strength, sees his possibilities, sees his adaptability to life, and even sees and feels his superiority over other people. It's important for us too, that's who we are. So in order to become a self-confident person, you need to learn how to win, you need to begin to achieve success in various matters, primarily related to the satisfaction of a person's natural needs. This is a very important point that must be taken into account - I mean the importance of a person's satisfaction of his natural needs. The fact is that you can be a successful person, a winner, in some matters of little importance for real life, but these small victories, this dubious success, will not make a person truly self-confident. Of course, he will gain some self-confidence from minor successes, especially if he attaches great importance to them, but the further these successes are from real life, from the real needs of a person, the weaker this confidence will be.
For example, a person, let it be a man, can be a very good chess player who constantly beats everyone at chess, and he can be considered a successful person, a winner, but only in the game of chess. Of course, success in this game will give this man self-confidence, but if at the same time he has serious problems with money, if he does not have a beloved woman, if other men whom he could consider his friends do not communicate with him - he will feel extremely insecure, and in especially difficult cases - a complete loser. The thing is that failures in more important matters for life and the inability of a person to satisfy his natural needs, as a rule, have a much stronger effect on his psyche than success, even if very large, in less important matters. However, there are exceptions that only confirm this rule. Therefore, friends, you need victories like air, but in such matters that are related to real, and not to virtual, imaginary life. Of course, you should start with small victories, with small successes in small but important things for life, gradually striving for bigger and bigger peaks. And you should always remember that life does not consist of victories alone, there is a place in it for defeats, failures, mistakes, which sometimes happen very often. And if you do not treat them with understanding, you will never come to success, in vain avoiding defeats and failures leading to it. This means that you will not be able to gain confidence in yourself.
How to learn to win important victories for life in order to increase self-confidence with their help, and how not to be afraid of failures, mistakes, mistakes, defeats that stand in the way of success? This task, in fact, is not easy, as it requires an individual approach to each specific person who needs to be taught to win in order to instill in him a taste for victories, for success. For its implementation, it is necessary to take into account the personal characteristics of a person and the history of his life. After all, different people are capable of different tasks, someone needs to start with small victories, someone can do more difficult things, and someone can immediately aim at great achievements. Everyone has their own possibilities.
When I help people gain self-confidence, I study their lives and themselves very carefully, starting from childhood. This allows me to develop for each person an individual recipe for success, guided by which they are guaranteed to win in matters that are truly significant for their lives, taking into account their desires and needs. If a person is poor, I help him improve his financial situation; if he is lonely, I help him find friends and a soul mate, and so on. In general, I help a person win where he needs to win. At the same time, we start the path to success with him from the very first steps that he can take, from the smallest, but very important victories. Thanks to small victories, which later grow into big victories, people gradually grow in self-confidence, and therefore they themselves, without anyone's help, achieve success in a variety of things, thereby increasing their confidence.
So, to put it simply, you need victories to increase your self-confidence, and not in some unimportant matters for life, but in serious, important matters that are directly related to your basic needs, and only then to all your desires. But to come to these victories is sometimes not easy if there is no clear action plan that takes into account the current capabilities of a person. It is not so easy to succeed in a business in which you need to be able to show your strongest qualities and get around other people who also want to be the first, want to be the best, want to be winners. Therefore, an individual program for achieving success is needed, and in those cases in which it is easier for each individual person to succeed at the first stage. Self-confidence should grow gradually, by overcoming a person of various difficulties and obstacles that he is able to overcome. But the big and quick successes that some people are able to achieve mainly only due to a fortunate combination of circumstances, most often make them overly self-confident and inadequately evaluating themselves and their capabilities by people, and then, for a short time, since external circumstances are constantly changing, and along with them, the self-confidence of those who depend on these circumstances and rely on them also changes. Therefore, you need to learn to go to success yourself, and not wait for it to come to you.
An important role in the issue of self-confidence is also played by a person’s attitude to the victories and successes already existing and previously in his life, which must be able to recognize and highlight against the background of everything else. People usually remember the bad better than the good, they remember their failures, they remember insults, they remember the evil that was in their life. But good things are often forgotten by them, successes, especially if there were few of them, are also forgotten, but at the same time, our self-confidence is based precisely on them - on our successes and victories. Let you make a hundred mistakes, but you will succeed the hundred and first time - it is this one hundred and first time that you should add to your asset, it is about it that you need to remember all your life, it is it that you need to use as a moral support in solving your current and future tasks and problems, and while overcoming various difficulties. If you know that you can, that you are capable, that you can solve any problems and succeed in any business, because you have already managed to do this before, then you will definitely solve your problems, you will definitely succeed and your self-confidence will inevitably increase. . Our past victories and achievements are our strength. We do not need to pump our psyche with all sorts of nonsense, because of which a person imagines himself to be a kind of superman who is capable of anything, we just need to be aware of our strength and focus our attention on it.
Your self-confidence, friends, is your shield from any difficulties and hardships, and also, this is your energy needed to achieve success in life. Therefore, you need to build it piece by piece, or even grains of sand, depending on the characteristics of your life. Victories lead a person to self-confidence, and self-confidence leads him to even greater victories, thus multiplying himself. Learn to win, learn to bypass and overcome all kinds of obstacles, depending on your capabilities, learn to see yourself as a strong person whom you can trust. And do not try to let yourself down - if you have given yourself a word to do something - do it, and always be sure to bring all your affairs to the end. Otherwise, you will not be able to trust yourself, which means you will not be able to believe in yourself.
NATA CARLINIn order for success to accompany you in all your endeavors, you need to become a self-confident person. This important feeling should be instilled by parents in their children. However, many of us do not have self-confidence, so prepare for change - learn to be. Believe in yourself and everything will definitely work out!
How to become self-confident - the procedure
Love your flaws.
After all, do you love people close to you or friends? They also have flaws that you take for granted. So why do you think you are?
The first thing that breeds insecurity is a lack of self-love.
Think about it, what was the impetus for the fact that you decided to become a self-confident person? We lived with this feeling for so many years, and then suddenly everything changed? Some factor has become critical. So decide what you want to achieve with your changes. It is better if you write a list, mentioning the smallest details of the blessings that await you in the future. Hang it in a conspicuous place and read it whenever you can. Awaken in yourself the same feelings that owned you at the time of its compilation.
I can, because I already did.
Have you ever felt confident in your life? Can't be! Think back to a time when you were a confident person. What caused this feeling, what feelings did you have at that moment? Try to remember this moment as often as possible and experience those emotions. Remember in great detail how you did it and how others reacted.
It is worth deciphering some positions.
Don't wear too bright colors. Everything should be in moderation. A woman who only emphasizes facial features looks much more attractive than a painted monkey. Read the recommendations of cosmetologists on the Internet about which oils and traditional medicines to use to look fresh and attract admiring glances.
Are you sure that your new shoes bought at the sale are not fashionable and look cheap? Answer 3 questions:
Do you like them?
Who knows their true value?
Are you comfortable in them?
If you are comfortable in them and think the shoes are cute, never tell anyone that you bought them on sale. Don't answer this question.
If a person feels that his appearance is in order, he is comfortable and comfortable, this is 50% self-confidence.
Straighten your back.
Remember the person who needs to convince the audience that he is right. The first thing you pay attention to is posture. If a person stoops and hunches his back, it is unlikely that he himself believes in what he says. Why should people believe him? Work on your posture. Spread your shoulders back, straighten your back and lift your chin. Walk forward with the look of a man. Not preoccupied, wandering and dragging his feet, but confidently striding towards his goal.
Angrily compressed lips and furrowed eyebrows are not the kind of facial expression that should accompany a confident person. To calm the nervous system and relieve tension from those around you, give a smile to people. No need to bare your teeth every time and show 32 teeth. A fleeting, light smile with the tips of the lips, which looks sincere, is enough.
Don't hide your eyes.
Be sure that a person who looks into the eyes of the interlocutor evokes only pleasant emotions:
Therefore, by showing people your mirror of the soul, you show interest in them and true feelings. And sincerity is something that is valued in a modern person worth its weight in gold.
Language of the body.
Imagine the situation - you are having fun at a party of friends where everyone is having fun, in the corner there is a gloomy guy who crawls his finger on the phone screen with the look of a person who is locked in this terrible place. Do you have a desire to approach this person? Therefore, try to make even your body express the desire to communicate. Do not cross your legs and arms in the company of those people whom you are glad to see. This is taken as a sign that you do not have time for them.
If you think that one in the world is so insecure, you are mistaken! Try to look into the eyes of the person in front of you with a closer look. Averted your eyes? Of course, he's embarrassed. Psychologists recommend such training in transport or on the street. Look people in the eye and wait for them to look away. This is one of those trainings that help a person understand that he is not the only insecure person in the world.
The best in yourself - make a list.
Focus on what you think is best about you:
Intelligence;
Talent for drawing or dancing;
, hair, radiant smile, etc.
Think of all the good things you've heard from people:
Compliments about your appearance;
Admiration for your achievements in work or sports;
Reassurance that you are kind and.
You can really be proud of this and develop your talents further. By working on yourself and improving yourself, you become a self-confident person.
Obstacles.
What is stopping you from becoming a confident person? Find out the reasons and overcome the obstacle. What are the reasons for your insecurity?
If this is a sloppy look, fix the situation, it's good that it's simple.
If inexpensive and unfashionable clothes, learn to look stylish even in simple things. For this, tutorials have been developed on special sites on the Internet.
Do you work in a team where everyone thinks he is a great smart guy, and you are a gray mouse against their background? Be patient, many of these literate people only create the appearance of competence and omniscience.
All people are the same.
It is unlikely that there are people in the world who are always and in everything confident in themselves. Here are some examples that you are not alone in your feeling:
Most likely, you attach too much importance to the fact that they pay a lot of attention to you. Most people are concerned about how they themselves look in the eyes of others. They are simply not up to you;
You are no worse than the rest. Don't aim for. Don't follow everything that others tell you. Don't compete with anyone, be yourself. If you want to win, set realistic goals for yourself and achieve them. This will be your triumph.
One victory is not a victory!
It is not true that you will gain self-confidence overnight, and this will be a one-time victory that will consolidate success once and for all. This is a long, or rather continuous process that requires constant monitoring and work on oneself. Praise yourself for every feat, this stimulates further victories.
Are you sociable today and attracted interest by talking to others? This is victory!
Did you manage to get the admiring glances of your employees? Great!
Walk towards your goal with small steps and the road will become wider and more colorful.
Congenital or acquired?
When you were born into this world, you did not think about what others think of you, how stylish you look and did not worry about feeling useless. All your complexes and tightness are the result of the influence of the social environment. You were forced to live like this and imposed an opinion about what is right and how not. You didn't know what was good and what was bad. At the time of birth, you could not even imagine that stiletto heels are not in trend this season, it is better to wear a platform. It came with time, with the opinion of others. You have been taught that society can judge if someone is too different from the gray mass.
Distance yourself from all those who are trying to influence you. They have no right to impose an opinion on you and evaluate your life. Remember that your opinion and emotions are deeply individual. Something that even those who are close to you should not let in. You are a person who wants to be happy and will definitely come to this.
February 8, 2014, 10:16 amInstruction
Remember that self-doubt is determined by the fears lurking in the mind. At the same time, the main one is the fear of how others will perceive your words, actions, appearance, what they will think about you, etc. and so on. Knowing the cause of uncertainty, you can deal with it.
You need to do something, and you are unsure of yourself. Imagine that the worst thing that can happen in this situation has already happened. Accept it internally, accept it as a fact. For example, a guy wants to get acquainted with (or vice versa), but is afraid to take the first step - to approach, to say something. Fears: they will laugh at him, he will be denied reciprocity, he will look very stupid.
When you find yourself in this situation, evaluate your fears and accept that all this can happen. Moreover, accept the negative outcome as already accomplished, feel it. Everything has already happened, you have nothing to fear anymore. Therefore, nothing prevents you from approaching and saying the first words.
Use the tactics of small accomplishments. Find small daily challenges for yourself and overcome them. They can be outwardly quite insignificant - to ask someone about something, to do something in front of others. Overcoming your insecurities in small things, you will gradually begin to notice that it is getting easier for you to communicate with people.
If you have a big task ahead of you, break it down into a series of small actions, and then focus on completing them one at a time. This approach gives good results - you stop seeing a big complex task, instead of it there is a large number of small actions, each of which individually does not look so intimidating.
Always remember that the vast majority of people don't care about you. They don't care how you look, what you say, how you behave, etc. and so on. If you are walking down the street, looking down and blushing at the mere thought that others are looking at you and might think something negative, relax - they are interested in their own problems and worries, but not you.
Learn to smile. Smiling is a great way to relieve stress. Smile, even if you are in a completely inappropriate mood for this, and you will immediately feel how fears and stiffness go away. The effectiveness of a smile as a means of dealing with uncertainty, stiffness, and stress is explained purely physiologically: people smile when they feel good and comfortable. Smiling in a situation where you don’t feel like smiling triggers a feedback mechanism that allows you to relax, feel more confident.
Choose the image of a totem animal, which, in your opinion, is associated with strength, dexterity, and confidence. Then try to feel like him. For example, while walking down the street, imagine yourself as a lion. The lion is the king of the jungle, no one and nothing can resist him. Feel in yourself its strength, calm grace, a certain laziness caused by a sense of your own power. Get into character and you will see that insecurity is gone, it is much easier for you to cope with what causes fear in you.
Self-confidence and self-confidence is not only an active life position, but also the key to success in any area of life. Self-confident women reach the top of the career ladder, subjugate men and arouse admiration from others. There are several ways to develop a sense of self-confidence.
Instruction
The first thing you need to pay attention to is your demeanor. Strong natures move with confident steps, have impeccable posture and "royal" manners. A woman with all her appearance should command respect and admiration. Do not confuse self-confidence and. Pride and indifference to the opinions of others is not a sign of confidence. In this case, we mean a firm life position and focus on achieving your goals.
The second point is the appearance. Many may assume that a confident woman should definitely wear business suits and use a minimum amount of makeup. On the one hand, such traits may indicate confidence, but they are not its main features. A mischievous girl in jeans and a simple hairstyle can look much stronger than a strict lady in a pantsuit. The main thing is to present the image to others. If you decide to do an exotic make-up - show with your whole appearance that it is beautiful.
The third point is the attitude towards oneself. Never engage in self-flagellation and self-criticism. Criticizing your appearance and behavior, you only aggravate the situation. Smile at yourself in the mirror, compliment yourself, admire yourself. If you love yourself, then others will change their attitude towards you.
In conversations with others, never hesitate to express your opinion, even if it differs from the point of view of the majority. Play situations in front of a mirror and think about what arguments you can use to convince. Speak to the public more often, do not refuse the opportunity to speak in front of a large audience.
Justify yourself to others as little as possible. Even if you make a mistake, don't turn it into a lifelong problem. It is likely that success awaits you in a new business or in a completely different field of activity.
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Often insecure people try to hide their fear behind a mask of indifference or unruffled calmness. Here are some tips and tricks that will help you feel comfortable in any environment.
Instruction
The simplest things affect our lives. One of these things is a smile. Even if you are in a bad mood, try to smile and your mood will immediately rise. A smiling and smiling person looks happy, open, attractive to people and, of course, self-confident.
Fussiness is the first sign of discomfort. To boost your self-confidence, calm down and find a comfortable, relaxed posture. As you learn to express calmness on the outside, you will gradually become calmer on the inside as well.
Fear of direct eye contact betrays an indecisive and insecure person. Therefore, to show your confidence, look the person in the eye when talking, do not try to hide your eyes. This will let him know that he is heard and understood.
Many people start to giggle when nervous, which has nothing to do with healthy laughter. To prevent this from happening, avoid awkward situations. An open smile and laughter will say much more about you than inappropriate nervous laughter.
Talk more so you don't feel embarrassed. If you have nothing to say, then ask intelligent questions that can show your attentiveness and professionalism. And these are the qualities of a self-confident person.
In any conversation, sooner or later there comes a moment when questions begin to be asked to you. To increase self-confidence, you need to become a full-fledged participant in the conversation. And this implies goodwill and openness to interlocutors.
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How difficult it is sometimes for a teenager to assert himself in a team! Only a few become leaders, the rest are content with the role of “middle peasants”, and some, unfortunately, are outcasts. To help a teenager adapt in a social environment, to position himself correctly in a team, a sense of self-confidence is necessary. A few tips will help you work it out.
Pay no attention to any ridicule! After all, there are a lot of reasons for them - for example, a funny surname, too small or, conversely, too large height, features of the figure and build, poor eyesight, an unusual hobby, etc. and so on. The main thing here is not to enter into a skirmish, no matter how insulting it may be. You need to learn to calmly look into the eyes of the offenders and shrug your shoulders indifferently. All! After two or three attempts, the teasers will lose all desire to continue - after all, they wanted to evoke negative emotions, enjoy the humiliation of the weak. And once the goal, then there is nothing to try.
Don't be afraid to stand out from your peers. An unusual hairstyle, clothes will allow you to be different from everyone else - the main thing is not to overdo it! Non-standard behavior first arouses interest, and then the desire to imitate. It has long been noticed: if, for example, a student at school during a break does not take part in common games, but steps aside and starts doing his own thing - drawing, playing a game, etc. - then soon the West class will gather around him. Worth a try!
Look after yourself! An impeccable appearance is the key to a good relationship with others. But people can be repelled, for example, by bad breath, sniffing, the sight of bitten nails, the smell of sweat from the armpits, etc. All this must be controlled! You can even make a special memo - what you need to check in your appearance, and view it before leaving the house.
Keep your head up high. Do not slouch, proudly straighten your shoulders, raise your chin - this is the image! You should learn to look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor when talking. And a charming smile will complete the “royal” look, disarm even negatively minded opponents.
Nothing in life can be achieved without self-confidence. It is faith in yourself that helps you not to retreat and find the strength to move on. Self-confidence is an acquired character trait, not an innate one. It is rare that someone is so lucky that he does not suffer from complexes and, over time, is not disappointed in himself. Self-confidence is formed due to character, personal qualities and hard work on oneself. Therefore, it is up to you how quickly you develop self-confidence.
You will need
- Willpower and desire.
Instruction
Don't forget your successes. Very often, people focus not on their own achievements, but on what they failed to do. Of course, this is not bad if a person wants to correct the situation and achieve what he wants, but when this leads to a decrease in self-esteem and self-confidence, real problems begin. Therefore, as often as possible, remember those successes that you can rightly be proud of, or even better, write them down on a piece of paper and read it in the morning before the start of the working day and at night before bed.
Don't beat yourself up for failures. If you make a mistake, analyze what happened, correct what you can and move on. There is no point in constantly remembering what happened. What was, is gone. It is more important not to repeat your own mistakes and learn to avoid wrong decisions, but you should not be afraid to take responsibility either. There are no perfect people in the world.
Don't live in the past. Don't expect everything to change tomorrow. Live today, here and now. The future has not yet arrived, and the past has disappeared over the horizon. If you constantly dream or remember how good it was before, you will not notice how life has gone. Nothing is more demoralizing than postponing your plans for tomorrow.
Appreciate what you have. The greatest happiness of a person is always the ability to enjoy what he has. This is not as easy as it might seem at first glance, but it is necessary for a fulfilling life. In addition, this will allow you not to make a mistake in choosing what else you would like to receive from this life. After all, sometimes people are chasing what they absolutely do not need.
Don't let anyone humiliate you. Neither loved ones, nor friends, nor relatives have the right to criticize your personal qualities. You can only criticize the actions of others when they directly affect someone's interests. Therefore, do not confuse the desire to help you with advice and gross interference in your life. Although usually advice should be given only to those who ask for it.
note
When communicating with officials, operate with laws, remember your own rights and their duties. As soon as they try to put pressure on you, to declare that they know better what to do, do not get lost, but immediately remind them of their own rights, the rights of a citizen and a person. It is very important to stop their attempts to suppress you and force you to back down in time. And for this, read the laws, because for a skillful conversation with civil servants it is necessary.
Confidence is what defines our whole life. Depending on the degree of confidence of a person, a circle of his acquaintances, friends, the field of activity where he manifests himself, and many other characteristics are formed. But many of us are not yet fully confident in ourselves, so we have not yet been able to achieve everything that we would really want. This article aims to help people suffering from insecurity syndrome overcome their illness.
1. Always think about yourself.
This does not mean that you have to become selfish. This means that you should not think much about other people with whom you have to talk, get acquainted, meet. All conversations must be spontaneous. Therefore, you should not think much about extraneous phenomena. Just do what you want and need to do, and the rest will come into your life on its own.
2. Never despair.
Mistakes happen to everyone. No one can boast of a perfectly clean reputation. But the fact that mistakes teach is indeed true. Therefore, do not be afraid to try yourself in various roles and fields of activity.
3. Be interested in what is happening around you.
Don't lock yourself in. Attend events and meetings that interest you. And do not think about what will happen there and how other participants will react to you. Enjoy the moments and it doesn't matter what others say.
4. Keep in touch with different people.
Never try to get away from reality for a long time. Yes, it is a fact that sometimes each of us needs time to be alone with ourselves, but when this solitude drags on for weeks, months and even years, then you doom yourself to loneliness.
5. Keep a positive attitude.
Smile at passers-by, say compliments and don't worry about how you will look like, what you will say. Sincerity has always been in fashion, so keep positive energy and give it to others.
Many people ask themselves the question: "What to do to become confident?". Self-confidence allows you to feel happy and be successful in any field. There are many ways to become self-confident.
1. Always smile. Always find a reason to be happy. A good mood always allows you to win over people and look confident.
2. Learn to respect and love yourself. A confident person always respects himself and is proud of himself. Don't worry about your shortcomings. Pay more attention to your strengths.
3. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Understand that each person is unique and there is no reason to compare yourself to other people. A person who compares himself to other people will always experience feelings of envy and self-doubt.
4. Don't give in to other people's opinions. Never take someone else's opinion seriously. Confident people always have their own opinion and do not depend on the opinions of other people.
5. Don't criticize yourself, praise yourself.. Get rid of the habit of criticizing yourself. Get into the habit of praising yourself all the time. If you begin to praise yourself more often, you will feel self-confidence.
6. Be always calm. People very often turn a small problem into a tragedy. Do not worry too much about some small problem. Understand that any problems can be solved. Look at life easier, and you will feel self-confidence.
7. Choose your environment. You need to have real friends who will support and help you. With real friends, you will feel real self-confidence.
8. Don't be afraid to fail. You don't need to be afraid of mistakes, you need to learn from them. Mistakes teach us valuable lessons. So try to make the most of your mistakes.
Self-improvement is the path to inner harmony and self-confidence. Let's figure out exactly what actions give us this very confidence.
Collect information about yourself
To work on yourself, you need to understand exactly what you are dealing with. The approach in the style of the most charming and attractive, of course, is good, but it still prevents us from seeing shortcomings in ourselves, correcting which, we will become much better. Arm yourself with a pen and a piece of paper and break down your personality into areas of life that are important to you. Maybe you don't know how to listen and because of this you don't develop relationships with people. Maybe you are very impulsive when shopping and therefore cannot get your financial affairs in order. Or maybe you just can’t decide to take life into your own hands and stop living with an eye on the opinions of others, who knows?
There would be a desire
Everything is possible, you just have to want it, including a total struggle with your shortcomings. Of course, the process is difficult and painstaking, requiring a certain amount of willpower, but if you sincerely decide that it's time to change something, no one will force you to turn off the path you have chosen to improve yourself. There will be moments of weakness, of course, but they will not have a significant impact on the final result. If you sincerely want to become better, you will succeed.
Give kindness to the world
Negative emotions in relation to ourselves, people around us and the world can significantly spoil our self-esteem, while a kind attitude raises it to heaven. Be kind to people, do good deeds, even small ones. For example, donating 100 rubles to an animal shelter or paying for an old woman's purchases in a supermarket is not such a big deal, but very, very important.
Make a "list of rules"
Each person should have their own set of principles. This will help you make the right decision in a difficult situation, because such a moral sheet will serve as a road map for your whole life. By putting personal principles and goals ahead of people and circumstances, you will soon gain not only self-confidence, but also respect from others.
Speak slowly
It just so happened that the more calmly you speak, the better the interlocutor perceives the information transmitted to him. Very often, politicians and public figures use this feature of our brain to convey some idea or news to the masses. You can also learn to speak more slowly and calmly, and your communication with others will become much more successful.
Watch your posture
In fact, posture is everything. As soon as you turn your shoulders, straighten your back and lift your chin proudly, your whole look and mood are completely transformed, and you look much more confident and attractive than before. Self-confidence depends primarily not on beauty, but on inner feelings.
Constantly improve your competence
Learn every day, every minute, every second. You can choose any one area or "pick up the tops" from each interesting area, it's not so important. The most important thing is not to stop in your development. The more useful you do for yourself, the more you learn and the better you are, the more confident you are.
Say goodbye to bad habits
If it's too hard for you to stop eating sweets or smoking instantly, start with small steps. For example, get rid of the habit of putting off washing dishes until later. Stop staying up late in front of the TV. Get up every day 5-10 minutes earlier than the day before. These small steps will help you train your willpower and realize that you are, in fact, the only master of your life. This realization gives a great feeling of confidence.
go in for sports
Sport brings up not only strength, but also spirit. Regular exercise will help you get to know yourself and your body, understand "what kind of dough you are made of." Also attending training requires willpower and a certain level of discipline. In addition, they improve the overall appearance, which also increases confidence.
A well-groomed appearance is the result of daily work on oneself. And here the girls are divided into two categories. The first works on himself and his appearance, acquires good habits. The second category of girls envies them. Being stylish is not so difficult, for this it is enough to know a few secrets.
Get ready in the evening. Think over your image in the evening. This will allow you not to waste your morning hours trying to find the right clothes. The main thing here is to find out the weather for the next day.
Choose your underwear carefully. This is exactly what creates your image. Properly selected underwear helps to emphasize the figure and improve the silhouette.
Choose clothes according to the weather. Stylish girls always dress according to the weather, this allows them to feel comfortable and confident.
Choose the style that suits you. Choose clothes that suit your lifestyle and body type.
Add some bright details. The right accessories will help turn ordinary clothes into festive ones. It can be a scarf, an expensive bag, large earrings or a belt. However, remember that there can not be many accessories, otherwise you risk "overloading" the image.
Change at home. As soon as you come home, change your clothes. Thus, your outfits for going out will be able to maintain a presentable look for a long time.
Prepare for Trouble. Carry a needle and thread with you at all times. They will come in handy if you have to sew something up or you rub a corn.
Create your style. Never wear things that don't suit you, even if they are trendy. It is better to choose what betrays you attractiveness.
Shoes for the occasion. Always choose shoes according to style and event. In some cases, shoes may look out of place, in others, ballet flats will look too simple.
