In Finland, a father was sentenced to 3 years in prison for attempting to kill his one and a half year old son to annoy his wife.
The wife informed Mr. Ali Abdulkadir Omer of her intention to divorce. Ali Omar (41 years old) took the child and dropped it on the floor with the back of his head!
The child lost consciousness. The mother rushed to the child, the husband rushed to bite her back (he went berserk, zhyyvotnae), beat and kicked. The woman dodged and ran out onto the landing, escaping from the offended husband armed with a knife.
The son was hospitalized for 10 days, but he and his mother were lucky, they survived.
Our compatriot in Egypt was not lucky - she lost her property, and then her life
The woman died under mysterious circumstances on February 19, and the investigation is still dragging on with analyzes, examinations, “loses” interrogation protocols, is not going to detain the suspected Arab “husband” and generally persuades to bury the body as soon as possible
The friends of the Russian woman who died in Egypt claim: “The Arab gigolo “divorced” Lena for 4,000,000 rubles and killed her!”
Forty-seven-year-old Elena Lobanova left for Hurghada for a late, long-awaited love. She was going to buy an apartment. Enter a profitable "leather" business, give birth to a child and by all means become happy. She died on February 19 in the early morning to the religious "sobbing" of the muezzins, in the first rays of the resort sun so adored by her, which barely melted the glassy sea horizon ... How exactly - still remains a mystery.
An international call from Lenin's Egyptian number broke into her son's apartment near Moscow only at eight in the evening:
Brother, your mother's heart - stop! - with a terrible accent croaked the handset. I took her to the hospital! Already cold. Sorry brother! My home is your home! I loved Lena so much, brother...
It was Karim, the 24-year-old Arab lover of his mother. Of course, he could only call 22-year-old Artem "brother" ...
Artyom simply did not understand the further gibberish, since Karim spoke the “national Hurghada” - a “curly-haired” mixture of Arabic, Russian and English. In addition, his mother would snatch out the phone every now and then, lamenting in Arabic ...
But Tom wasn't listening. He tried in vain to realize that his mother was no more. Mom, who was about to return home, with whom they had spoken on the phone yesterday, to whom he was finally able to send money for a ticket as soon as the banks opened.
She really wanted to leave. In the last SMS messages received by the girlfriends, there is despair: “Everything is bad ... Artem cannot send money - Western Union does not work ... I can’t buy a ticket.” But while Russian tourists fled en masse from the revolution that broke out in Egypt, Lena was much more afraid of something else ... What exactly - she almost did not tell. Not a son - how can you worry even an adult, but a child. Not to her friends, apparently ashamed to show herself, always strong and lucky, from the weak and stupid side ... She hid behind the neutral-steel "I'm fine." And only occasionally, obviously by accident, uncontrollably, as if screaming in pain, she would drop: “I’m in captivity, I don’t go out for two weeks - he locks me up”, or “he forbids me to call, took away my passport”, or “Everything is very bad, but I can't write. I will explain later when I arrive ... ".
One can only guess what her last days really were. According to the corpse, emaciated to a skeletal state, identified in the morgue, according to a swollen face with bruises and drips from the mouth and nose. By the fact that in her bank accounts, where back in November 2010 there were almost four million for the sale of an apartment and land, only 400 rubles remained.
“You are together ... You don’t understand me”
Muscovite Elena could not be attributed to the category of unfortunate and unclaimed "magpies" living in series about "Cinderellas". No women's curls on the head, shapeless colorful hoodies and "anti-stress" cakes, lying with extra folds at the waist! Educated, always fit, secured. The chief accountant of a large store, and then the famous cardiovascular center "Bakulevka", she was always in good shape, inherent in a woman leader. She earned good money, dressed with taste, was proud of her two-meter student son. That's just with personal life did not grow together.
She and Valerka divorced in 2002 - says Galya, Lena's best friend. He's a good man, but he drank. It was encoded, kept for two or three years, and then traditionally went into a binge for three months. It pissed her off. Then, in 2002, she and I returned from vacation, and Valerik just went into another “corkscrew”. Well, Lena could not stand it - she drove him. She said: “How much can you? I’m 38 years old, I’m still young, I’ll live at least a little calmly for myself. ” Divorce was very hard for everyone. They had been together for 13 years before. The husband was terribly worried. The son got out. But Lena always had a character - flint. Couldn't forgive.
Alas, perhaps the same “flint” in the soul did not allow the then young “divorced woman” to establish relations with a new man. Elena was looked after, but she was very picky in relationships and clean to the point of disgust. Of course, she was tormented by loneliness, but for example, it was taboo for her to bring a strange man to the house where her son was growing up. For example, friends recall how she was introduced to a man at some birthday party, whom she really liked. As usual, she discussed it with her friends, rejoiced at the new prospects together ... And then she told how he called her:
I have a gorgeous bouquet of roses and a bottle of champagne for you, I'll come right now - wait!
I don't mind, but only if it's the other way around, not you to me, but I to you, - Lena snapped.
The cavalier was offended and hung up. They didn't communicate anymore.
Lena was proud. And pride, as you know, is the favorite "delicacy" of loneliness. It is on impregnability and rigid principles that this cruel "beast" is fed. And the worst thing is that sooner or later the supply of principles ends, and then the starving loneliness painfully bites into the heart. Usually this happens just when a woman would already be glad, spitting on pride, to rush to any male call, but they don’t call. This happened to Lena as well.
She didn’t go anywhere much, Galya sighs. - I didn’t even like the company, because I didn’t like drinking. And where to meet? The circle closed: home, work, kitchen, where we were chasing tea like a neighbor ... She began to cry often: “You don’t understand me! Everything is fine with you - you have a husband. And I told her: “Yes, where does my husband? We also left the stage of the novel a long time ago - we have been together for twenty years. Everything is the same: home, work…” And she: “Yes, of course… But you are together!”
Business on feelings
Twenty-year-old Karim, a swarthy, hairy-eyed bag merchant in Hurghada, became for Lena the long-awaited “male call”, to which any single woman of Balzac age is psychologically ready to respond.
They met in 2008. It was the last day of vacation, when Lena, tanned and fluttering in her short skirt, was walking around the city in search of souvenirs. She knew that for her age she looked great - few people can boast that they easily carry jeans, from which seventeen-year-old daughters of girlfriends grew up. Therefore, the increased attention of the young and muscular owner of the shop was taken for granted.
It is not the first time that funny local "Mowglis" flirt with her. Another thing is that until now she did not take these boys seriously - as potential men for herself. And then, suddenly, she herself felt that, like a fly in a jam, she was dying and choking sweetly in a thick stream of mutual passion.
And, despite the fact that the next morning the plane of the newly-made Juliet rushed off to cold Moscow, the romance began with a strong sea knot. Moreover, as usual, around the neck of a Russian woman in love, who doesn’t know a damn thing about the culture and mentality of an Arab country, but firmly believes that “her habibi is not like all these professional gigolos that are regularly talked about in the newspaper and on TV.”
From that moment on, the whole history of the novel by Lena and Karim can be safely entered into the anthology of Russian-Arab loves. Classic! Endless sms: “Ay kiss yu”, “ay miss u” ... Moreover, for the most part - from his side. Him something that - new passion pay. But she doesn't know. He looks at the screen of the phone and considers how much this machine-gun burst of “ey-laves” cost him. Then he imagines how a poor Arab youth in love nibbles on a crust of black bread for dinner in order to save his Egyptian pennies for exactly the same “line” tomorrow. And he runs to transfer him a hundred dollars to pay for the phone. She rereads the clumsy, but that makes it even more precious, like handmade soap, texts, and does not even realize that all of them, however, like the phones of some Russian girls, were stuffed into a shabby Siemens even before he bought the device was owned by the elder, who had already taken the first steps on the "career ladder" of a friend's gigolo. And now a new journey towards love. And in the suitcase, an expensive smartphone is a gift to him. He will immediately sell his "Siemens" to the next growing "colleague" who needs a complete base of SMS in all languages. And 2 heavy artillery will go into battle.
Week of love, departure again. Then - a touching request to help pay for the treatment of my mother. Then - SMS about the dream to come to visit his beloved. Sent to him for a ticket, a visa and a warm jacket 5,000 dollars. Excuses that he cannot come yet because he needs to feed all his sisters, since his uncle was forced to leave to work in Italy. Scandal due to the fact that "I had to send 5,000 dollars to my uncle, because he had terrible problems, but" I will definitely give it back, don't be angry! Her attempts to erase him from life. His cunning tactic is to wait until he calms down and gets bored, and then suddenly reappears with a plea for love: "I have many girls, but they are not worth you."
She somehow even changed her number so that he could not find her - Galya smiles sadly. - I went to rest not in Egypt, but in Turkey. He was gone for six months. And then I look, Lenka is scribbling text messages again. Found it!
In April 2010, "Carthage" was destroyed - Karim introduced Lena to his family and, returning to Moscow, she called her friend Alena with a question about how to privatize the apartment, so that she could later sell it and leave for permanent residence in Egypt.
“I will be loved ... But no, I will commit suicide!”
Everyone answered. Even at work, Lena quarreled with friends who opposed her Egyptian happiness with a friendly “demonstration”. Girlfriend Galya buzzed her ears with lectures. The only conclusion that Lena made was to be less frank with those who press too hard. That is why, apparently, no one except Alena's friend knew Karim's terrible secret, which Lena herself found out by accident ...
It was in August 2010, when Lena had already put the apartment up for sale and went to Hurghada for a couple of weeks not even to a hotel, but to visit Karim, - says Alena. - It was like a "shooting", a test of life together. And then one day she discovered that money was missing from her wallet. A small amount - a couple of hundred dollars, but the fact itself ...
Moreover, the apartment was locked, the key was hidden, and the "habibi" himself was lying in the bathroom with an empty syringe in a deep "high". Lenka then told how, sobbing, she instantly packed her suitcase and went down the sheets from the window. She ran to a friend who was just relaxing in one of the hotels. But two days later, Karim found her, fell to his knees, begged for forgiveness, said that he would die without her. He told a “terrible story” about how lonely he was when she left him, and his uncle put him on a needle to “unwind.” Moreover, he brought with him his mother, who sobbed in the background and nodded, confirming that the son’s heartfelt longing for her and an unscrupulous relative were to blame for everything. Lenka forgave. She didn’t tell anyone but me about this, apparently because of the fear that they would condemn her even more. I could not blame her, I sympathized very much, but I also repeated that going to live with a drug addict is crazy! But she was adamant: “I am to blame for his misfortune! I finished it and now I have to help to cope.”
In November, she sold her Moscow apartment. I bought Artem a one-room apartment in the region. I collected all my things, put the money on the card and gave my girlfriends a "dump".
She flew away on wings - recalls Galya. - She made plans ... He promised her a joint business. Before leaving, Lenka gave him 18 thousand euros so that he would invest “her share” in the store. She dreamed: "I will buy an apartment, I will go with him to the store in the morning to work, and in the evenings - to the sea." And how joyfully she waved the extract from Bakulevka, which showed that she was healthy and could still give birth! She said: “Before meeting with Karim, I had not seen men at all for five years. I don’t want to do this anymore ... That’s how much is released, I’ll live as much, but humanly, loving and being loved. If it doesn’t work, I’ll lay hands on myself.”
What was it? Prediction? Or maybe the idea that she inadvertently gave to the young quick-witted gigolo? After all, the first thing he did after Lena's death was to bring to the police a piece of paper covered in English letters. Allegedly, Lena's suicide note, in which she asked to forgive her. It's just that the handwriting doesn't look the same. And she didn't know how to write in English...
“Understood that it was used, but did not want to believe”
Who would have known that that cheerful, hopeful evening, like the legendary (separating the afterlife and real worlds) river Styx, would become for Lena a frontier, beyond which a long, painful death would begin.
She disappeared gradually - recalls Galya. - At first, we endlessly corresponded with sms and talked on Skype. She was even happy. She wrote that, at the request of Karim, her mother taught her how to cook Egyptian dishes. Not so cheerful anymore, but still chuckled at the fact that Karim had rejected almost all of her summer clothes, as too open and she had to go around in nightmarish local clothes. And it’s already quite sad that, despite her investments, only his mother trades in the store, and Lena sits locked at home. Then Lena began to disappear. She explained this by the fact that Karim does not like it when she spends money on chatting on the phone.
Most of all, her friends were surprised that she was clearly moving away from talking about buying an apartment. It was impossible to pull out anything other than “we draw up documents”. Already by the New Year, after a long silence, Galya unexpectedly called:
We urgently need three thousand euros to buy a very nice apartment! The one that I was counting on before is not suitable ... In general, please go out on loan.
Well done such! - half-jokingly indignant girlfriend. - For weeks you are silent, like a fish, but as soon as the money was needed, she immediately called. How are you?
Fine…
What else, besides this, could the unfortunate woman say, who, apparently, already understood that she was taken advantage of, but did not want to believe it?
These are also a couple of classic Alphonse scenarios ... Speaking about the general business, he “forgets” to say that you cannot open anything without him. At least in the role of Pound from the "Golden Calf", but the local should be among the founders of any business in Egypt.
In the same way, it is not easy to buy an apartment here without the help of a man and generally turn any deal. But the worst thing is that if your money falls into the hands of a man, he has every right to kick you at any time, and not a single court will force him to return anything to you. The probability that Lena fell into such a trap is 99.9%. Having taken all the money, including the “apartment”, he began to slowly press her. He reacted angrily to her mentions of the apartment: “Our business is falling apart, and you stuck with your apartment!”
And in order to squeeze it to the maximum, at some point he began to lie that he still looked after the apartment, but it is a little more expensive. So, you need to urgently call your friends with a request to send more money. And when they send it, of course, give it to him.
First, Galya sent money, then Artem, and again, and again ... But, as it turns out, Lena did not even buy an apartment. For the New Year and for birthdays, she threw mean congratulatory sms to her friends.
It doesn’t look like her at all,” Galya sighs. - Previously, Lena was such a "lighter"! All congratulations - in verse, she composed herself. I think, maybe he put her on some kind of pills or drugs, so that she would gradually become a “vegetable” and already lay claim to nothing?
A big baby with a dead mother in her arms...
Last week, Artyom arrived at a sunny resort with the hardest mission - "to identify the corpse of my mother." Thanks to Lenin's friend Alena, who volunteered to support Artyom and went with him.
Recently they were at Karim's. They found out that not a single thing of Lenin's was preserved in the house. That is, he took the documents to the police. And things - "attached".
Where is the computer?
Broken.
What about the camera?
Lena gave it to someone ...
What about gold jewelry? She had a whole box...
I sold them.
What right did you have?
And she bequeathed them to my sister in her suicide note.
And where is the money for the apartment that Lena wanted to buy?
I have no idea.
And where is the last 500 euros that Artem sent to Lena for the ticket?
Spent on a police bribe to let me go...
Simplicity is worse than theft! Artyom Karim returned only a gold pendant in which Lena wore a tiny filial photograph.
And if before leaving, Theme was wondering if Karim was to blame for the death of his mother, but now he is sure of it.
But the worst thing is that now the boy cannot forgive himself for not stopping his mother:
I watched how she suffers, goes out, suffers ... She started a terrier and talks to him ... I decided that since she was drawn to this guy, then she would be happier with him. It seemed to me that I sacrificed my interests for the sake of my mother. And it turned out that I donated it. But all I wanted was for her to be happy. Before leaving, my mother dreamed about me. Calm. I asked, "So what happened?" And she: “It happened so ...” She didn’t even tell in a dream. Also, do you know why it hurts? It's like I'm leaving her here. The transportation of the body is very expensive, and there is no crematorium here. I will never have a mother again. There won't even be a grave.
…Help him not go crazy!
Until now, neither a graphological examination of the handwriting in the "suicide" note, nor a biochemical analysis of the blood of the deceased has been carried out.
The doctors told me from the start it was murder! says Ahmed, an interpreter who helps Elena's son communicate with Egyptian officials. - But at the consulate, information was already taken from somewhere that “an autopsy was carried out, no violent injuries were found on the body, the internal organs are in order.”
"You can bury!" - solemnly announced Yusup Abakarov, an employee of the consular department of the Russian embassy in Cairo.
But there are still too many questions in this case! A 47-year-old woman, whose health, according to doctors, even allowed her to give birth, cannot die just like that. And if you also take into account that for some reason she was bleeding from her nose and ears, and some potent drugs were found next to her, which Elena herself never took and, given the “house arrest” arranged for her, she could not buy anywhere …
We performed the autopsy without the permission of a relative because there is every reason to believe that this is a murder, we were told in the Hurghada prosecutor's office.
So far, the doctors have only learned that Lena died due to a sharp drop in blood pressure. But what caused it, you can find out only with the help of biochemical analysis.
Perhaps it is clonidine poisoning, says Valentina Pulkacheva, a Russian human rights activist living in Egypt, who helps Artyom navigate the situation. - Recently, local criminals often use it. Last fall, there were four such cases.
There is still no biochemical analysis, no handwriting examination regarding the "suicide note", although a week and a half has passed since the day of death. Moreover, the suspect is still at large. He bombards Lena's son with text messages, trying to control the situation under the guise of sympathy and find out what the police and the prosecutor's office already know.
And, by the way, worrying in vain. Apparently, for a bribe, which Karim himself admits, the police “lost” both the medicines that were found on Elena’s body and the protocol of his interrogation ... Is it possible to accidentally lose the most important document - the interrogation of a criminal suspected of murder, who has already changed at least twice your testimony! Either he said that he had found Elena already dead in bed, then that he was taking her to the hospital while still alive ...
Ah, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Russian consulate in Cairo, which I have been trying in vain to get through to for several days! Please help Artem Lobanov figure out who is to blame for the death of his mother! The guy is very hard. He is kind, strong and a little clumsy child. There is no Russian consulate in Hurghada. He is alone in a foreign country, with the corpse of his mother in his arms and absolutely without help. Imagine how scary it is and help!
And we will definitely return to this topic later, and we really hope that by then everything will change for the better.
Oksana Yesenina
Why do Arabs choose Russian wives?
Now this question worries a lot of people. But so far no one has been able to give an exhaustive answer to it. What do the Arabs find in our Russian girls? Why are they ready to turn a blind eye to her “free” past, go against family traditions, and simply love her in spite of the whole world?
What makes the heart of hot Arab men pound more and more at the sight of their Russian "Natasha"? Beauty? Unbridled passion combined with sedate calmness and modesty? Mystery, contrary to incorruptible simplicity and deep sincerity? Or is it a simple tribute to the fashion to have a foreign wife?
In order to somehow clarify and understand the reasons for the significant increase in Russian-Arab marriages, let's try to compare the requirements of an oriental man with the qualities of his potential companion.
What do Arab men expect from marriage?
Like any other man, an Arab expects to get from marriage: a reliable union, warm and trusting relationships, and of course, the high status of a respected married person.
But in addition to all these human desires, the eastern representative of the strong half of humanity, coupled with peace of mind and moral stability, also dreams of finding love, mutual understanding, and just friendly support. Is it not her own, an Arab bride is not able to satisfy at least some of the above requirements?
Arab wives. What are they?
Of course, they are economic, obligatory, submissive and sweet. It would seem, what else is needed for a prosperous family happiness? But after two or three years of living together, all the movements of oriental beauties become so well-developed that even looking at them becomes boring and uninteresting.
It's no secret that Arab women for the most part approach family life with a certain calculation. And the point here is not entirely in premarital ransom or dowry. Her family life is, first of all, a huge physical labor, a kind of payment to her faithful for his kind attitude towards her and material support. In the mornings, she makes breakfast, escorts her husband to work with a sweet smile, does laundry, cleans up, and then, having spoken with her faithful habitual set of standard phrases, ends her working day.
On the face of it, such a relationship seems to be ideal. But every year they begin to grow into a routine more and more, that same romance, the flame of passion, which must be maintained throughout life, disappears. Probably, it's just that many Arab ladies understand the expression a little one-sidedly: "A woman is the keeper of the hearth." In fact, this phrase has a deeper meaning.
The “hearth” is, first of all, that source of heat, which should not only warm the hearts of lovers, but also, with its playful flame, throughout life, help inflame the feelings of the spouses, either pumping up or suppressing this unbridled element of the fire of passion. Therefore, the main task of any woman, regardless of her temperament and nationality, is to learn how to manage this very element at her own discretion.
Who knows? Maybe just a Russian woman is her real tamer.
And what are we - Russian wives?
The Russian woman at all times has been the standard of humility and devotion. But this devotion was manifested not only in relation to her husband, but also to her household, relatives and the entire Russian people.
She will help out of trouble, and give wise advice, but she will take all the hardships and hardships of family life onto her fragile shoulders. Only there would be a worthy male shoulder nearby, on which one could lean in case of illness, or some other adversity.
But, unfortunately, in modern men all the strength of the Russian spirit has been translated. Either they are drawn to clubs, then to alcohol, or even change their orientation in general. So a poor Russian woman goes to seek her happiness in a foreign land, where she will be accepted with pleasure and treated kindly, and then they will call her in marriage.
And so the Russian beauty remains to live on foreign land with her newly-made Arab husband, who, for all her incorruptible devotion and fidelity, will take care and protect her from all evil. And she will become an exemplary mistress for him, she will give birth to children, and she will open her soul of infinite kindness.
And all this without any kalyms and premarital gifts. We don't need material goods for Russian women. Let only the soul rejoice and rejoice from love and a happy life! Well, we will not remain in debt!
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About dating
We met Abdulrahman in England when I was studying at a language school under the “Education first” program. My then-future husband also studied there. We often saw each other at school, but at first I did not pay attention to him. Fate decided for us when I was transferred to his class.
Abdulrahman invited me on dates, called me for a walk, but I refused.
Still, it was difficult to get rid of stereotypes: he is an Arab, I thought that he had a harem and all that.
I was also skeptical about the relationship between Russian and Arab. I will say more, initially he repulsed me: he created the impression of such an arrogant guy with an expensive watch.
Once it began to rain heavily, I ran into a cafe to wait it out, and saw Abdulrahman there. We got to talking, and then I liked him. And now I remember the past and understand that there were really many moments when we accidentally crossed paths, but did not notice each other. After this conversation in a cafe, we began to communicate more and spent a lot of time together. When I left England, he promised that he would come to Russia. Of course, I thought he wasn't serious.
A month later, we still met in Moscow and since then we began to constantly correspond and call each other. A month and a half later, he invited me to England, paying for my course, but my visa expired and I had to return to my homeland. Although I already then realized that the relationship between us is serious and for a long time. A few more times after that we met in Moscow, and then he came to Khanty-Mansiysk to meet my parents. From that moment on, we did not part, and it was then that his Arab adventures in Siberia began!
About life in Khanty-Mansiysk
At first we lived in Khanty-Mansiysk in a rented apartment, and then moved to my parents. He got used to everything for a very long time: he could not, for example, eat Russian food, even rice with lamb was “not the same”. Ignorance of the language also affected, because while I was at the university, he could not even go to the store. The hardest part was in the winter, because he was not used to such conditions! But that didn't stop him. He survived these cold and hard life in Khanty-Mansiysk and achieved his goal - he took me to hot Qatar.
About the wedding
We played Nikah approx. author - in Islamic family law, equal marriage between a man and a woman) in Moscow, secretly from their parents, after some time they got married according to the law of the Russian Federation, then, on the basis of this paper, they received a Qatari marriage certificate, but the wedding itself was no longer played. His parents were pleased that everything went through in stages.
There is even some magic of numbers here - an acquaintance on May 28, 2011, Nikah on January 28, 2012, a wedding in Russia on May 28, 2012, and on April 28, 2013 a daughter was born.
About parents
At first, my family was unhappy with the choice, as they were afraid and worried about me. They said: “He is an Arab, he has a harem, then it will be difficult for you to leave from there, “what if!”. But I was confident in my choice and knew that nothing like this would happen. Prior to his arrival in Khanty-Mansiysk, my family knew little about him. And only when we moved into the house of my parents, they were imbued and loved him like a son. Now, of course, they are on good terms. Abdulrahman loves my family, and my mother has already visited us in Qatar and we are planning another meeting with them soon.
It was more difficult with his family. Initially, they did not support this idea, arguing that if the girl is not a Muslim, then it will be difficult for her to live in new traditions, that sooner or later I will get bored and I will run away back to Russia. Therefore, there could be no talk of any of his trips to Moscow and Khanty-Mansiysk, and even more so about a wedding.
At first I also thought that his family would be unfriendly to me, but in the future it turned out to be quite the opposite.
Abdulrahman, without saying anything to his parents, left for Khanty-Mansiysk. Periodically, they called each other, trying to find out if their prodigal son had changed his mind and if he wanted to return and find a job. But he did not return, and his parents, realizing that he would not change his decision, accepted his choice and said that they would help us with the move. When I finally arrived in Qatar and met them, I immediately became friends. It turned out that his parents are modern Muslims, and they began to help me in everything. His mother is constantly with me, she helped me adapt, takes me to all parties, introduced me to her friends. And dad is not strict, always gives gifts and calls his daughter. They show on TV that life in a Muslim family is unbearable and terrible. However, I want to say that I feel very comfortable, here I have a second family.
About moving
Moving is not easy. About a year ago, we began to draw up documents: we had to collect a huge package of all kinds of papers, because Qatar is such a country where it is not so easy to get to.
While we were preparing to move, I dreamed of leaving Khanty-Mansiysk as soon as possible, but as soon as we moved, I immediately began to miss home. Everything was different here: clothes, laws, food, traditions… It is very difficult to get used to it, because you are not going on a two-week vacation.
I went there not as a tourist, but as the wife of an Arab husband.
At first we lived with his parents, and after a while they gave us a villa in which we now live.
About Qatar
Life here is not at all the same as in Khanty-Mansiysk. The locals are very rich, and visitors from the Philippines and India work in the service sector. The locals have many indulgences and benefits: they work 4 hours a day, at birth money is transferred to their account, the state pays a fabulous amount for marriage and building a house, and this is all for one reason only - you were born in Qatar.
As a rule, residents of Qatar go to work immediately after school, mostly in high positions. In general, when Abdulrahman told me what country he was from, I didn’t even know where it was. Only a few months later I read on the Internet that this is the richest country in the world.
About religion
In January 2012, I converted to Islam. At first I did not feel any significant changes, but then, as they say, it came.
It was in Moscow, then my future husband suggested that I change my religion, and I agreed. Right after that we played Nikah in one of the Moscow mosques. I deliberately approached this issue, consulted with relatives. As a result, I decided that the husband and wife should not have disagreements in the family, and then there will be peace and harmony. In the future, even children will not doubt what religion they should live in.
I like Islam and I do not regret that I changed religion. I feel confident in my husband that he will not betray me or change me, and I completely trust him. I will say more, Islam completely changed my life, and I understood what I did not understand before. I became more sensitive and sincere, I understood the value of life. By itself? I follow all the rules. Although I was not born a Muslim, I feel like one and I am glad that my daughter was born in Islam. I am sure that, being a Muslim, it will be easier for her to go through life.
About traditions
I'm already used to everything: to the fact that you need to cover your head, and that men are separate from women. In general, here you can get used to everything.
Qatar is a very strict country, it is believed that a man should wear traditional white clothes, and a woman, like his shadow from the sun, should wear a black abaya. Abaya (author's note - a long traditional Arabic women's dress with sleeves, for wearing in public places) shows your status, but when madam or madam turn to you and open the door for you, it’s even nice.
But when I saw a dismembered ram on a plate of rice, it was a shock to me. This is really hard to get used to. Yet everywhere men are separated from women. In schools, in homes (there are separate rooms for men and women), in lines, prayer rooms, at work. Women and men are even forbidden to talk to each other. For example, you can't meet a guy and a girl together in a mall. And if a couple is together, then they are husband and wife. As for polygamy, it is a big responsibility. In Islam, four wives are allowed. If the husband is well off, it shows his status.
However, I know that my husband will never have a second wife, because we have a modern family, and polygamy is something more traditional.
About life
My husband works from morning to afternoon, at which time I usually sleep. He is the president of an Arab sports club and his father gave him one of his restaurants, so he sometimes goes out in the evenings to check on how things are going. While he is not at home, I can do what I want. Usually his mother takes me with her to parties or shopping, I also have a personal car and a driver, so if I want, I can go to the store or cafe myself. I don't do it often, I prefer to stay at home. And then, in the evening, together with my husband we go for a walk.
Another stereotype: "You can't leave the house." Of course you can! Everyone believes that an Arab wife should be at home, cook, look after the children, obey her husband in everything and be, in fact, nobody. It’s not like that with us at all, I respect my husband, he respects me, and if we have a dispute, then we find a compromise. My husband fully provides for me, I myself do not work. He gives me money, gives me gifts, we go somewhere to rest with the whole family. He doesn't hurt me in any way. In our country, it is believed that it is the wife who shows the status of her husband.
Many people think that I'm only with him because of all this luxury, but I would never be able to live with a man for money. No matter what anyone says, family values are more important to me than material ones.
About the child
While we were preparing the documents for the move, I managed to graduate from the university and, since I was pregnant in my 5th year, I planned to give birth in my hometown. The daughter's passport says that she was born in Russia, but she is an Arab by nationality. I am for the child to be brought up in the traditions of the father. I don't want to offend anyone, but why should she be Russian? The attitude towards Muslims in Russia is ambiguous. I just don't want my kids to be influenced, the most important thing is that they just know what's good and what's bad. Arabic is her main language, she already knows a few words in English, it is very easy, and she will learn it anyway. But I will teach her Russian later so that I can keep in touch with my Russian grandparents.
About food
Most of all I miss Russian food! Arabic cuisine is also delicious, but I want Russian more. I love herring, and Olivier, and pies, and dumplings. In general, only when I left I realized that I love the most! Unfortunately, no one here can repeat a real Russian dish in cooking, and there are no suitable products. I taught my kitchen workers how to make puree and olivier, it turns out delicious, but still not the same as in Russia. Now, every time I come to Khanty-Mansiysk, I enjoy the moment.
The cuisine in Qatar is very diverse. Kebabs, for example, are the most delicious I have ever eaten. And since we live on the coast, we often enjoy seafood. Rice is always on the table every day. As for sweets, they are not all tasty here. And they put a lot of spices in food, which I also don’t really like. Often we have food delivered from our restaurant, and on Fridays we have parties and get together with the whole family at a large table. By the way, our daughter is a real Arab. No matter how much borscht I cooked for her, she refuses to eat!
This is how destinies intertwine. And while some residents of countries are intensively building barricades of racism, chauvinism and other "isms", others are blurring these boundaries.
KSENIA GRINEVICH
Back on topic again arab love.
Too many questions from girls who, in desperation, are looking for their Love in the Arab countries. They go several times a year just to have sex with arab, because in Russia it simply has not been available for years.
Therefore, I want to return to this topic again.
I already wrote that I love Egypt.
Would love to visit others Arabic countries to write about the role of women, oh love, about family. To compare and understand where are the pros and cons of life. Just plunge into a completely different atmosphere, which you either accept with all your heart or reject forever.
On one of my first trips, I met Anya Stepanova, who, like me, studied Arabic. Several years have passed. We only keep in touch online. I see that her interest in this country has not disappeared, but, on the contrary, has only intensified. Today I want to offer you an interview with her.
To start.
Anna Stepanova, graduated from the Gumilyov Eurasian National University in Astana, Faculty of International Relations, orientalist, Arabist. We met her in 2010. Since then, she has repeatedly returned to Egypt, to Cairo. And today it is in the same place.
Anna, where does such a love for Egypt come from?
When we met, I first came to Cairo. Just like you, learn Arabic. It was my very first trip abroad. Maybe that's why she made such a strong impression on me. It was a completely different world. Other manners, customs. Everything else. I was very young. Everything seemed so fabulous and mysterious to me. Of course, we have many Arabs in Astana. But there they are different. And here I was for the first time in their midst. I don’t know why, but I liked everything: music, clothes, relationships, some kind of understatement and mystery. It is difficult for me to explain what happened then, no, I did not fall in love with a young man, but I left my heart in Egypt. Then I studied for a long time, but at every opportunity I tried to return back, where I am very comfortable, where I have favorite places, and today people whom I call true friends.
Do you agree that Cairo and, for example, tourist Hurghada are two completely different countries that practically mutually exclude each other?
I was in Hurghada for the first time this year. I was shocked, shocked, discouraged, I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.
I communicate with intelligent and educated Arabs, and here those who come for a while gather to earn money, while forgetting about ethical norms and rules. Although not only Arabs, our countrymen too. There is a special speech about girls, they complain that the Arabs are rude to them, intrusive, but ..
How do they behave? This is a Muslim country. On the territory of the hotel, you can do whatever you want, but going into the city almost naked, flirting, flirting, and then getting angry that your lover behaves boorishly is against all the rules.
Yes, Hurghada today is, I don’t know what to call it, but in any case it is not the face of the country itself. It is not necessary to draw a conclusion about the whole of Egypt from this city.
However, our girls are indignant, we came to rest, we have the right to behave as we want .. We are not required to wrap ourselves in black clothes.
In this case, it is better to choose another country. As for black clothes. I would agree to wear them if I would be as protected as Arab women.
She is getting married and thinks of nothing else. Husband decides everything. Her job is to look good and please her husband. Branded dresses and very expensive jewelry are often hidden under black dresses and abayas.
But at any moment a man can say: “Halas”, that is, the end, I have stopped loving you. And this is a divorce. What then is a woman to do?
She has protection and has something to stay with. When they get married, the mullah asks: “How do you love your wife? How much is your love worth?
And a man, for example, says a million dollars.
During a divorce, he is obliged to give this million dollars to his wife, because this is all documented. A woman after a divorce can marry without restrictions.
How do you look at the marriages of Arabs with Russians, Ukrainians? Are such marriages happy?
Yes, I know examples of good and strong families that have been together for 10, 15, 20 years. But there are a lot of divorces.
I don't understand those girls who, hating this country, stay here to live. For what? For what? Therefore, today such marriages are very carefully checked. That is, they will not give permission for the wedding very quickly. For Arabs, our women are a great opportunity to rise to a new level of life, to solve some of their problems.
For example, an Arab woman will never get married, or rather her parents will not allow it, if there is no worthy baksheesh: an apartment, money, that is, a future.
Russian agrees to heaven in a hut. In the end, she comes, buys real estate, equips her life, and then .. Then here's what. As a rule, she does not even know English, she relies on her beloved in everything, who hurries to help her in everything. He does help. Makes everything for himself. In a divorce, everything remains with him. That is the law. I had to think and delve into it myself, pay extra money, but draw it up for myself. But we, I say we, I am also Russian, forget about it when we love.
That is, the Arabs are so insidious, they say one thing, do another?
Yes and no. Arabs are cunning, they are looking for profit in everything - that's true. This is their natural feature. And it also depends on education, the caste to which he belongs, there are many subtle points here.
We are different.
This must be recognized from the outset. Arabs they sing sweetly, they promise a lot, they look after wonderfully, they are amazing lovers, but at any moment they can betray, abandon their words, distort and alter the meaning of what was previously said. Arabs terrible gossips, they can’t say anything about themselves, deeds, problems, troubles. This is all you need to know. For us, with our mentality, it is incomprehensible to the mind, but these are their rules of the game.
We, I'm talking about girls, rush into love with our heads, because such an attitude of a man at the time of courtship is a fairy tale that we dreamed about. The more terrible is the disappointment when deceit, lies, betrayal are revealed.
So you personally would never marry an Arab?
No, I didn't say that. I live in this environment, I communicate only with worthy men, anything can happen. Marriage does not depend on the nationality of the chosen one, it depends on how the heart responds. And my heart belongs to this country, this language, this culture. I just already know what to expect and what to be afraid of. It's easier for me because I speak Arabic. I would advise this to all girls who want to find their happiness here. Learn the language and you can avoid a thousand problems. Plus Arab men - they do not drink alcohol, they grow up with the knowledge that they are responsible for the family. Here the concept of married, FOR HUSBAND, I understand. In Russia, this word has lost its original meaning.
Are you coming back here to live, work? How do you find a reason? Especially since you say no love for a man keeps you here?
Yes, I am looking for opportunities to come to work. Finding a permanent job is difficult. All the time these are some short-term contracts. Just go to teach in a school, yes - it's possible, but it's only $ 400, which will eventually go to pay for the apartment. Having a high salary is the dream of every Egyptian, even a very, very well educated one. It is very difficult to find a decent job. That's why I'm here for the time being. I've been here for four months now.
The most important thing for which they scold Egypt in particular, which is very dirty. How do you feel about it?
Yes, Cairo is dirty. There are cleaner areas, where foreign embassies are. But.. More recently, I lived in a town near Cairo. The situation is quite different. Surely you do not know that now there is a public service announcement on television calling for living in cleanliness. And in small towns, such as I lived, this result is already visible. I have been coming for four years now and I can say for sure that Egypt is changing, it is becoming cleaner. There are many countries in the world where it is not very clean, India, for example, but something attracts thousands and thousands of people there. And dirt is not a problem at all. Although everything is already changing in Egypt, which I already
I have a lot of questions about women's rights. Their role in society. About what is written in the Koran about a woman. Let's agree this. You find in the Koran what you consider a plus for a woman. I am what I, as a modern woman, is unthinkable and unacceptable. And we will continue this conversation. Fine?
To be continued.
Anya is on vacation with her parents in Egypt now,
Anya on the set of the series “Saraya abdein”
Arabic love.
What is she?
This is our next article.
You can find it in all online stores.
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