Many people are haunted by constant self-doubt and doubts about their own abilities. The psychological barrier built by a person is difficult to step over. Some experience insecurity due to constant failures, others consider themselves unworthy of more, others are afraid to look bad in the eyes of others. How to erase the line that interferes with a peaceful existence and makes you feel inferior? There are a number of trainings aimed at revealing inner strength, but it will be more effective to cope with uncertainty on your own.
A person who wants to gain confidence must get to know himself and explore his own "I". Look for activities that help you calm down, gain experience, discover new professional qualities, learn from your mistakes. Do not close yourself off from your negative sides, they are important for personal growth.
In most cases, people project mistakes made in the present onto the rest of their lives. When it seems to you that now everything is bad and will not get better, look at your positive sides. Remember past successes and do not succumb to the present oppressed state. No need to try to calm down, look at things soberly: you haven’t been a loser all your life, have you? Turn to the facts and replay in your mind the moments when you were confident. Convince your ego that your doubts are unfounded and that you are still the same person as you were a few months ago.
Unleashing the potential, you will understand how wrong you were, being insecure. The opinions of others will lose their significance, as you will better understand what needs to be done at a certain moment. Knowing the essence, a person becomes confident in his own abilities and prospects open up before him. Gaining experience, broadening your horizons and enriching yourself spiritually, you will begin to rely solely on yourself. Self-sufficiency helps to gain confidence!
Action
One of the most effective ways to gain confidence is action. Every time you start a business, try to finish it. Being at home regularly and thinking about what you would like to do will only exacerbate the situation.
To take action and gain confidence, you need to have a passionate desire. Do you want a good car, but no funds? Change your job to a more paid one, a change of scenery and will be the beginning of the action. The truth is quite understandable, the desire to have something valuable pushes for action. Set yourself big goals, it's easier to hit them!
Decided to get down to business, but uncertainty prevents? Imagine the situation as complex and incomprehensible, then relax. Now that the mind is calm, the problem has disappeared, it no longer seems impossible. The situation was created by your imagination and imaginary panic. Take things simply, act calmly and measuredly, counting the steps. Only then will you be able to start your plan and enjoy the process.
Being in the right place at the right time, it makes you act without effort. Soon it may seem that everything is going on as usual, but this is far from being the case. The method is like the work of the lungs: you breathe and do not think about the fact that they work. Attend social events, communicate with useful people, scroll through your head with new ideas for self-development.
Face your fears and be curious. At a time when a person is afraid, he builds barriers and closes himself from others. If you show a little curiosity, the world opens up in all its glory and there is no time for fear, which is closely related to uncertainty.
Stop associating fear with unfortunate events in the past. People make mistakes and you are no exception. You can't turn down an opportunity to achieve more because of past losses. Shield your mind from negative memories and move forward through insecurities.
Great people, before they succeed, have suffered defeat for many years. Failure gives a chance to learn useful knowledge and subsequently not make mistakes. There are opportunities to gain success by strengthening inner strength. No wonder they say that defeat does not repel, it leads the wanderer to a long-awaited dream with great strides. Try to think of failure as an example of what not to do in the future.
Do not tune in to a negative mood and perceive past mistakes as learning practice. With each failure, ask yourself the question “What good can I get out of this situation?”. Things happen for a reason, you learn from the mistakes you make. Nothing terrible happened if loved ones are alive and well, and the rest is the little things of the wicked fate.
Many will say “Learn from the mistakes of others!” This advice is not useful at all. You need to know the world through your own mistakes, becoming wiser every day. The experience gained cannot be compared with the empty chatter of acquaintances and friends. Fear will serve you well, learn and develop!
When a person does not know what he is going to do, he can easily get lost in the routine of uncertainty and nebula of the future. From here comes the fear of possible negative consequences. Do you have an important meeting where you need to speak in front of a gathering of people? Start preparing early and learn the speech. Reread and correct it, say it out loud, standing in front of the mirror. Imagine the office where the meeting will take place, start the presentation in your head.
Psychologists have proven the effectiveness of imagination, it helps to cope with uncertainty faster. Only by imagining the possible complexity, you can find not one, but several solutions. If you do not have experience in oratory, the speech will not be professional, but a simple technique will help get rid of uncertainty due to fear of failure. You will come to the meeting prepared, so you will not be at a loss in unforeseen circumstances.
Failures help to become stronger, a person understands all the pettiness of what happened and ceases to take defeat to heart. Now you have the power to overcome problems that a year ago seemed like a full-blown disaster. Failure brings revival to everyday life, it shows that you fell into the mud on your face, but did not break. The essence is in constant movement, because inaction suppresses faith in one's own success. It also makes a person withdrawn, as a result of which uncertainty develops.
Often people share plans with friends when they are in doubt or cannot decide due to uncertainty. In response, they want to hear words of support and approval, but it turns out the opposite. This happens because false friends are not able to rid a person of doubts, they are too passionate about their own comfort. It’s easier to say “Drop it, bad idea!”, thereby developing the opponent’s uncertainty even more. As a rule, such people are extremely indecisive and have not achieved anything in life, so they sow doubts in the heads of others.
Sociologists even argue that such individuals wish the rest to fail, because for them they are living proof of missed opportunities.
Imagine a situation in which you are about to start your own business and come to a friend who works for you for advice. He begins to dissuade, convincing that this is a waste of time and the business is not profitable. Do not get hung up on the words you heard, it is better to turn to successful people. Take an example from those who have achieved heights and strive for the best.
Do you still doubt your own abilities and do not know how to gain confidence? Come to the realization that in case of defeat, you will become wiser, failure does not kill, it makes a person experienced. Fight fears, they develop insecurity the most. Engage in self-knowledge, discover new positive aspects, set a goal and move towards its achievement. Remember past victories and think about them constantly, learn from your mistakes. Believe in your own success, develop, it's time to act!
Video: how to acquire reinforced concrete confidence in 7 days
Every person is born into this world pure, kind and happy. In childhood, he is surrounded by benevolent, loving and sincere people. However, childhood passes quickly and the time comes for growing up, the very time when a person begins to accumulate negativity and negative emotions.
Many people already in adolescence experience acute dissatisfaction with life and consider themselves unhappy and unable to fully enjoy life. So how to find peace and self-confidence, how to get out of the swamp and see the bright colors of the world - let's try to figure it out together.
Do you know that only those who are open to the world and know how to perceive everything that happens disinterestedly, without reproaches and discontent are capable of rejoicing and smiling sincerely? If you are determined to become one of these lucky ones, then you will need to follow our advice.
So, the first and, perhaps, the most important rule on the way to happiness is sincere concern for loved ones and relatives. Of course, you want to help yourself first of all, but selfishness is far from the most necessary trait in the search for happiness and self-confidence. You need to learn to enjoy the little things that happen not only to you.
Let's say a friend received a handbag that you have long dreamed of as a gift from a loved one. Do not puff out your cheeks and grin, trying to portray a smile. Throw away bad thoughts and sincerely rejoice for a loved one. Try it and you will definitely enjoy the process.
The second advice we want to give you is not to sit still, be constantly on the move, go in for sports. Often people are so busy achieving their goals that they completely forget about their own health. But it is good health and mood that help us tune in a positive way.
Always look for the positive in every situation. Sometimes it seems that everything is not going the way you wanted, and you cannot change it. If you cannot change the course of events, they must be taken for granted. Why waste energy and nerves simply? It is better to accept and tune in a positive way.
How to learn to enjoy life and see the positive?
To learn to enjoy life and be always positive, you need to change your opinion of yourself. It all starts with ourselves, as long as you think badly of yourself, others around you will think the same way.
There is one very effective way to increase self-esteem. The essence of this method is as follows: in the morning, when you just woke up, go to the mirror, smile at yourself and make some nice compliments. For example - "How beautiful you are today!" or “You look great, today is a good day for you!”, this can not only set you up for positive, but also add self-confidence.
Answering the question of how to learn to be positive and enjoy life, you can answer - very simply, if you treat everything with humor. If you're waiting for that sooner or 
late "sit in a puddle", then this will certainly happen.
Do not judge people in all severity, take everything lighter, do not try to control everything and everything. You won't be able to do it anyway. But if you support loved ones who find themselves in not the most pleasant situations, not ridiculing, but with irony, then you will certainly earn respect.
Trying to find, do not forget to forgive the mistakes of other people and your own. We are all not perfect, and each of us has the right to make mistakes. It is important to understand that negative emotions and aggression can not only draw wrinkles on your beautiful face, but also significantly spoil your existence. Open up to the world and the world will reciprocate!
Lack of confidence is a serious barrier to the implementation of their plans, building normal relationships with colleagues, relatives, the opposite sex. Insecure people themselves suffer from their shyness, more and more immersed in their small but cozy world. But in order to achieve something in life, build a career, stand out from the crowd and be respected by a person, you need to cultivate self-confidence. And for this there are a few simple, but very effective rules.
How to find peace and self-confidence?
- The first step is to acknowledge the problem, because most shy people assume they are fine. They do not recognize the fact of their insecurity, writing off all their failures to the will of fate.
- Stop comparing your position to others. If you set yourself an example of an oligarch or a celebrity, then your self-esteem, and therefore confidence, will be at the lowest level. However, you can choose a successful person as your idols, and try to get used to his image. Try to imagine yourself in his place when you are in a big company, this will give you some confidence.
- Praise yourself more often, even for the smallest thing. They took the dog for a walk in the morning - well done, cleaned the house - clever! And if we are talking about more significant achievements, then it is better to write them down in a notebook in order to periodically remind the consciousness of your achievements and feel real pride for it.
- Visit only those places where you feel comfortable. Go to your favorite restaurant, cinema. You should not return home in a way that you do not like, but to which you are already accustomed. It is better to walk through a beautiful park, even if it takes longer.
- Learn to keep up any conversation. Agree that if the company communicates on a topic unknown to you, then some awkwardness appears, and you want to go home as soon as possible. Read more books, news, develop comprehensively, and then you will be able to competently support a conversation on any topic.
- Work on your voice. Read books on public speaking. If you learn to express your thoughts correctly, speak beautifully, and at the same time love your own voice, then others will always listen to you with great interest.
- Learn to love yourself. Do not let anyone insult you, humiliate, compare with other people.
- Do not criticize yourself either alone or in front of others. If you tell everyone that you are unlucky, then everyone will consider you just that. Moreover, do not allow criticism of you by others. If someone criticizes your actions, then you can ignore it. But if a person has touched your personality, you should immediately fight back.
- Always set goals for yourself. Any goal achieved, even the smallest, write down in a notebook, and every time you read it, praise yourself.
- Spend more time on your appearance and wardrobe. Make it a rule to always look well-groomed and neat, even if you plan to spend the whole day at home.
Cultivating calm self-confidence is a painstaking and long process. But if you follow these rules and realize that you are a person worthy of respect, you can quickly achieve your goals. Our life depends on ourselves, so do not waste time, but start building confidence right from today.
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“Let the turbulent water calm down and it will become clear.” (Lao Tzu)
«
Never rush and you will arrive on time»
. (Ch. Talleyrand)
Another article from the heading "every day" - peace of mind in human life. How to keep calm, why calmness is so good for life and health. We specifically placed this article in the "every day" section, as we believe that it will be useful for each person to calm down in time, put their thoughts in order and just relax. When making any hasty or emotional decision, we are sometimes disappointed, regret what we have done after a while, while feeling guilty. To avoid such situations, it is necessary to take this skill into service. And in general, on health and success in life, calmness will have the most beneficial effect. In a clear and calm state, a person is able to more soberly assess the situation, feel himself and the world. Let's try to figure out what peace is and try this feeling on ourselves.
Your thoughts are like circles on the water. In excitement, clarity disappears, but if you let the waves calm down, the answer becomes obvious. (Cartoon Kung Fu Panda)
So, what are the benefits of peace of mind:
Calmness gives strength - to overcome external obstacles and internal contradictions.
Calmness gives liberation - it is fears, complexes and self-doubt.
Calmness shows the way - for self-improvement.
Calmness gives goodwill - from the people around you.
Calmness gives confidence - in one's own abilities.
Calmness gives clarity - thoughts and actions.
Calmness is a state of mind in which there are no internal conflicts and contradictions, and external objects are perceived equally balanced.
Manifestations of calmness in everyday life; everyday situations, discussions, in families, extreme situations:
household situations. The ability to extinguish an incipient quarrel between friends or loved ones is the ability of a calm person.
Discussions. The ability to calmly, not get excited and not lost, to defend one's position is the ability of a calm person.
Scientific experiments. Only calm self-righteousness helps scientists to go to the intended goal through a series of failures.
extreme situations. Clarity of mind and rationality of actions are those advantages of a calm person that increase his chances of salvation even in the most difficult situations.
Diplomacy. A necessary quality for a diplomat is calmness; it helps to restrain emotions and take only rational actions.
Family education. Parents who raise children in a calm environment, without excesses and loud quarrels, bring up calmness in children.
Can't help but agree:
Calmness is the ability to maintain clarity of mind and sobriety of mind under any external circumstances.
Calmness is the readiness to always act rationally, relying on logical conclusions, and not on an emotional outburst.
Calmness is the self-control and strength of a person’s character, which help to survive in force majeure and succeed in ordinary circumstances.
Calmness is an expression of sincere trust in life and the world around.
Tranquility is a benevolent attitude towards the world and a friendly attitude towards people.
If you feel like time is going too fast, slow down your breath....
How to achieve calmness, how to calm down right now, how to find calmness in practice
1. Sit on a chair and relax completely. Starting at your toes and working your way up to your head, relax every part of your body. Confirm relaxation with the words: "My toes are relaxed ... my fingers are relaxed ... my facial muscles are relaxed ...", etc.
2. Imagine your mind as the surface of a lake during a thunderstorm, when the waves are rising and the water is bubbling.. But now the waves subsided, and the surface of the lake became calm and smooth.
3. Spend two or three minutes reminiscing about the most beautiful and peaceful scenes you have ever seen.: for example, a mountain slope at sunset, or a deep plain filled with the silence of an early morning, or a midday forest, or the reflection of moonlight on water ripples. Relive these pictures.
4. Repeat slowly the words of calm, calmly, melodiously a series of words expressing peace and tranquility, for example: calm (say it slowly, in a low voice); serenity; silence. Think of other words of this type and repeat them..
5. Make a mental list of times in your life when you knew you were under God's protection and remember how He brought things back to normal and calmed you down when you were agitated and frightened. Then read aloud this line from an old hymn: "So long has Your power guarded me that I know it will SILENTLY guide me further."
6. Repeat the following stanza, which has amazing power to relax and calm the mind.: « You keep a firm spirit in perfect peace, for he trusts in You"(Book of Isaiah 26:3). Repeat it several times during the day, as soon as you have a free minute. Say it out loud, if possible, so that by the end of the day you have time to say it many times. Think of these words as active, vital, penetrating into your mind, and it sends them from there to every area of your thinking, like a healing balm. This is the most effective medicine to remove tension from your mind..
7. Let your breath bring you to a calm state. Mindful breathing, which in itself is a powerful meditation, will gradually bring you into contact with the body. Follow your breath as the air moves in and out of your body. Inhale and feel how with each inhalation and exhalation, the stomach first rises slightly, and then falls. If visualization is easy enough for you, then just close your eyes and imagine yourself engulfed in light or immersed in a luminous substance - in a sea of consciousness. Now breathe in that light. Feel how the luminous substance fills your body and also makes it luminous. Then gradually shift the focus more to the feeling. Here you are in the body. Just don't get attached to any visual image.
As you develop the methods suggested in this chapter, the tendency to the old behavior of tearing and throwing will gradually change. In direct proportion to your progress, you will gain strength and ability to handle any responsibility in your life that was previously suppressed by this unfortunate habit.
Learning to be calm - How to remain calm at a crucial moment, and in difficult situations, sound reasoning about the calmness and emotions of a person (in places, especially at the beginning and at the end, well, in the middle in places):
What other methods and ways of finding peace exist in life, where to go for peace, what will help you find peace, where to find peace:
Faith gives a person peace. A believer is always sure that everything in life - both bad and good - has a meaning. Therefore, faith gives a person peace of mind. - "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."(Gospel of Matthew 11:28)
Psychological trainings. Inner calmness training can help a person to shed the shackles of self-doubt and get rid of fears; therefore, to cultivate calmness in oneself.
Self improvement. The basis of calmness is self-confidence; getting rid of complexes and stiffness, cultivating self-respect - a person approaches a state of calm.
Education. Understanding is necessary for peace of mind - in order to understand the nature of things and their relationship, a person needs education
Selected quotes and aphorisms about calmness:
What are the elements of happiness? Only of two, gentlemen, only of two: a calm soul and a healthy body. (Michael Bulgakov)
The greatest peace of mind is possessed by the one who cares neither for praise nor for blasphemy. (Thomas Kempis)
The highest degree of human wisdom is the ability to adapt to circumstances and remain calm despite external storms. (Daniel Defoe)
Peace of mind is the best relief in trouble. (Plavt)
Passions are nothing but ideas in their first development: they belong to the youth of the heart, and he is a fool who thinks to be agitated by them all his life: many calm rivers begin with noisy waterfalls, and not one jumps and does not foam up to the sea. (Mikhail Lermontov)
Everything usually goes well as long as we are calm. This is the law of nature. (Max Fry)
What I will take out useful for myself and for life from this article:
If any difficulties arise in life, I will first calm down, and then I will make the right decision ....
I will remember quotes about calmness that will help me in difficult times, in times of trouble....
I will apply the methods of entering a calm state in practice ....
We must value peace if we want to live our lives happily!
That's all Dear Friends, stay with us - your favorite - site
How to stay calm, the health benefits of being calm, or how to stop throwing and tearing.
Many people unnecessarily complicate their lives by wasting their strength and energy, succumbing to an uncontrolled state, which is expressed by the words "tear and throw."
Does it happen to you that you “tear and toss”? If yes, then I will draw you a picture of this state. The word "vomit" means boiling, explosion, release of steam, irritation, confusion, seething. The word "throw" has similar meanings. When I hear him, I remember a sick child at night, who is naughty and now screams, now whimpering plaintively. As soon as he calms down, he starts again. It's annoying, annoying, destructive. Throwing is a childish term, but it describes the emotional response of many adults.
The Bible advises us: "...not in thy wrath..." (Psalm 37:2). This is useful advice for people of our time. We need to stop tearing and tossing and find peace if we want to save strength for an active life. And how to achieve this?
The first step is to moderate your stride, or at least the pace of your steps. We do not realize how much the pace of our life or the speed we set ourselves has increased. Many people are destroying their physical body at this rate, but even sadder, they are tearing their mind and soul to shreds as well. A person can live a calm physical life and at the same time maintain a high emotional pace. From this point of view, even a disabled person can live at too high a pace. This term defines the nature of our thoughts. When the mind frantically jumps from one position to another, it becomes extremely excited, and the result is a state close to a flash of irritation. The tempo of modern life must be slowed down if we are not to suffer later the debilitating overexcitement and over-excitement it causes. Such overexcitation produces toxic substances in the human body and leads to diseases of an emotional nature. This gives rise to fatigue and frustration, which is why we tear and flail when it comes to everything from our personal problems to national or global events. But if the influence of this emotional disturbance produces such an effect on our physiology, then what can we say about the effect, on that deep inner essence of man, which is called the soul?
It is impossible to find peace of mind when the pace of life is so feverishly accelerating. God can't go that fast. He will not make an effort to keep up with you. It's like he's saying, “Go ahead if you have to keep up with this foolish pace, and when you've exhausted your strength, I'll offer you My healing. But I can make your life very fulfilling if you slow down now and begin to live, move and abide in Me.” God moves calmly, slowly and in perfect harmony. The only reasonable pace for life is Divine pace. God ensures that everything is done and done right. He does everything without haste. He does not tear and does not fling. He is calm, and therefore his actions are effective. The same calmness is offered to us: “Peace I leave you, My peace I give you...” (Gospel of John 14:27).
In a sense, this generation is pitiable, especially in the big cities, because it is under the influence of constant nervous tension, artificial excitement and noise. But this disease also penetrates into remote rural areas, as air waves transmit this tension even there.
I was amused by one elderly lady who, when discussing this problem, said: "Life is so everyday." This line very well reflects the pressure, responsibility and tension that everyday life brings us. The constant insistence that life places on us provokes this tension.
One might object: Isn't this generation so accustomed to tension that many feel unhappy because of the discomfort they don't understand, caused by the absence of habitual tension? The deep tranquility of forests and valleys, so well known to our forefathers, is an unusual state for modern people. The pace of their lives is such that in many cases they are unable to find the sources of peace and quiet that the material world offers them.
One summer afternoon, my wife and I went for a long walk in the woods. We stopped at a beautiful mountain lodge by Mohonk Lake, located in one of the most beautiful natural parks in America - 7500 acres of virgin mountain slopes, between which there is a lake lying in the middle of the forest like a pearl. The word mohonk means "lake in the sky". Many centuries ago, a certain giant lifted this part of the earth, which is why sheer cliffs were formed. From the dark forest you emerge onto a majestic cape, and your eyes rest on vast glades spread between hills studded with stones and ancient as the sun. These forests, mountains and valleys are the place where one should go from the turmoil of this world.
This afternoon, while walking, we watched the summer showers give way to bright sunlight. We were soaked to the skin and began to discuss it excitedly, because it was necessary to wring out our clothes somewhere. And then we agreed that nothing terrible would happen to a person if pure rainwater soaked him a little, that the rain so pleasantly cooled and refreshed the face, and that you could sit in the sun and dry off. We walked under the trees and talked, and then fell silent.
We listened, listened to the silence. Frankly, the forests are never quiet. Incredible in scale, but invisible activity is constantly unfolding there, but nature does not make sharp noises, despite the gigantic volume of its labors. Natural sounds are always calm and harmonious.
On this beautiful afternoon, nature laid her hand of healing calm on us, and we felt how the tension was leaving our body.
Just as we were under this spell, we heard the distant sounds of music. It was a fast, nervous variation of jazz. Soon three young men walked past us - two women and a man. The latter carried a portable radio receiver. They were city dwellers who had gone for a walk in the woods and, out of habit, dragged their city noise with them. They were not only young, but also friendly, because they stopped,
and we had a very nice conversation with them. I wanted to ask them to turn off the radio and invite them to listen to the music of the forest, but I knew that I had no right to teach them. In the end, they went their own way.
We talked about how they lose a lot from this noise, that they can pass through this calmness and not hear ancient as the world of harmony and melodies, the likes of which man can never create: the song of the wind in the branches of trees, the sweetest trills of birds pouring out in singing your heart, and the inexplicable musical accompaniment of all spheres in general.
All this can still be found in the countryside, in our forests and endless plains, in our valleys, in the majesty of our mountains, in the noise of foamy waves on the coastal sand. We should take advantage of their healing power. Remember the words of Jesus: “Go alone to a desert place and rest a little” (Gospel of Mark 6:31). Even as I write these words and give you this good advice, I remember times when I needed to remind myself and put into practice the same truth that teaches that we must value tranquility if we want to live our lives happily.
One autumn day, Mrs. Peel and I made a trip to Massachusetts to see our son John, who was then studying at Deerfield Academy. We informed him that we would arrive at exactly 11 am, as we prided ourselves on our good old-fashioned habit of being punctual. Therefore, noticing that we were a little late, we rushed headlong through the autumn landscape. But then the wife said, “Norman, do you see that sparkling mountainside?” "What mountain slope?" I asked. “He was just on the other side,” she explained. “Look at this wonderful tree.” "What other tree?" “I was already a mile away from him. “This is one of the most magnificent days I have ever seen,” said the wife. - Can you imagine such amazing colors as those that color the slopes of New England in October? In fact,” she added, “it makes me happy on the inside.”
This remark made such an impression on me that I stopped the car and turned back to the lake, which was a quarter of a mile away and surrounded by steep hills dressed in autumn dress. We, sitting on the grass, looked at this beauty and thought. God, with the help of His genius and unsurpassed art, painted this scene with various colors that only He alone could create. In the still water of the lake there was a picture worthy of His greatness - a mountain slope of unforgettable beauty was reflected in this pond, as in a mirror. For a while we sat without saying a word, until finally my wife broke the silence with the only appropriate statement in such a situation: “ He leads me to still waters” (Psalm 23:2). We arrived in Deerfield at 11 am, but did not feel any fatigue. On the contrary, we even seemed to be thoroughly refreshed.
To help reduce this day-to-day tension, which seems to be universally the dominant state of our people, you can start by slowing down your own pace. To do this, you need to slow down, calm down. Don't get annoyed. Don't worry. Try to stay calm. Follow this directive: "...and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding..." (Philippians 4:7). Then notice how a sense of calm strength wells up within you. A friend of mine, who was forced to go on vacation because of the “pressure” he had acquired, wrote me the following: “During this forced vacation, I learned a lot. Now I understand what I did not understand before: in silence we are aware of His presence. Life can become extremely turbulent. But, as Lao Tzu says, let the agitated water calm down and it will become clear».
A doctor gave rather eccentric advice to his patient, an overburdened businessman in the category of active purchasers. He excitedly told the doctor what an incredible amount of work he had to do, and that he should do it immediately, quickly, or else ...
“I also bring home work in a briefcase for the evening,” he said excitedly. “Why do you bring work home every night?” the doctor asked calmly. “I have to do it,” the businessman said irritably. "Couldn't someone else make it or help you deal with it?" the doctor asked. "No," the patient blurted out. - I'm the only one who can do it. It must be done right, and only I can do it right. It must be done quickly. It all depends on me". "If I write you a prescription, will you follow it?" the doctor asked.
Believe it or not, this was the doctor's prescription: the patient had to carve out two hours for a long walk during each working day. Then once a week he had to spend half a day at the cemetery.
The surprised businessman asked, "Why should I spend half a day at the cemetery?" “Because I want you to wander around and look at the tombstones on the graves of people who found eternal rest there. I want you to consider that many of them are there because they reasoned just like you, as if the whole world rested on their shoulders. Consider the serious fact that when you get there permanently, the world will remain the same as before, and other people as important as you will be doing the same work that you are doing now. I advise you to sit on one of the tombstones and repeat the following verse: For a thousand years are before your eyes, like yesterday when it has passed, and like a watch in the night” (Psalm 89:5).
The patient understood this idea. He slowed down his pace. He learned to delegate authority to other, rather authoritative persons. He came to a correct understanding of his own significance. Stopped tearing and throwing. Found peace. And it should be added that he became better at his job. He has developed a better organizational structure and admits that his business is now in better shape than before.
One well-known industrialist suffered greatly from overload. In fact, his mind was tuned to a state of constantly taut nerves. This is how he described his awakening: every morning he jumped out of bed and immediately started up at full speed. He was in such a hurry and excitement that he "made himself a breakfast of soft-boiled eggs just because they skipped faster." This hectic pace tired and exhausted him to the point of exhaustion by the middle of the day. Every evening he fell into bed completely broken.
It so happened that his house was located in a small grove. Early one morning, unable to sleep, he got up and sat by the window. And then he began to observe with interest the newly awakened bird. He noticed that the bird was sleeping with its head under its wing, tightly covered with feathers. Waking up, she stuck out her beak from under the feathers, looked around her eyes, still clouded from sleep, stretched out one paw to its full length, at the same time stretching the wing along it, opening it in the form of a fan. Then she retracted her paw and folded her wing and repeated the same procedure with the other paw and wing, after which she again hid her head in feathers to take a little more sweet nap, and again stuck her head out. This time the bird looked around intently, turning its head back, stretched twice more, then uttered a trill - a touching, delightful song in praise of a new day - after which it flew down from the branch, took a sip of cold water and went in search of food.
My nervous friend said to himself, "If this method of awakening is good for birds, slow and easy, why shouldn't it work for me?"
And he actually did the same performance, including singing, and noticed that the song had a particularly beneficial effect, since it served as a kind of relief.
“I can't sing,” he grinned, remembering, “but I practiced: I sat quietly in a chair and sang. Mostly I sang hymns and funny songs. Just imagine - I sing! But I did it. My wife thought I was crazy. The only thing in which my program differed from the bird’s one was that I also prayed, and then, like a bird, I began to feel that it would not hurt me to refresh myself, or rather, to eat a solid breakfast - scrambled eggs with ham. And I spent my time on this. Then, with a peaceful mind, I went to work. All this really contributed to an effective start to the day, without any tension, and helped to work out the day in a calm and relaxed state.
A former member of the university's champion rowing team told me that their team's coach, a very perceptive man, often reminded them: To win this or any other competition, row slowly ". He pointed out that hasty rowing, as a rule, knocks down the swing of the oar, and if this happens, then it is very difficult for the team to restore the rhythm necessary for victory. Meanwhile, other teams bypass the unlucky group. This is truly wise advice. "To swim fast, row slowly".
In order to row slowly or work slowly and maintain a constant pace that leads to victory, the victim of high speed will do the right thing if he coordinates his actions with the calmness of God in his own mind, soul, and, it would not hurt to add, also in nerves and muscles.
Have you ever thought about the importance of having Divine peace in your muscles and joints? Perhaps your joints would not hurt so much if there was Divine calmness in them. Your muscles will work in an interconnected way if their action is controlled by the Divine creative power. Every day say to your muscles, joints, and nerves, "... not in your wrath..." (Psalm 37:2). Relax on the couch or on the bed, think of every vital muscle from the head to the toes, and say to each of them: "Divine peace descends on you." Then learn to feel the calm flowing through your entire body. In due time, your muscles and joints will come into full order.
Take your time, because what you really want will be there in due time if you work in this direction without stress and fuss. But if, by continuing to follow Divine guidance and His smooth and unhurried pace, you do not get the desired result, then, presumably, it should not be. If you missed it, then maybe it's for the best. So try to develop a normal, natural, God-determined pace. Develop and maintain mental calmness. Learn the art of getting rid of all nervous excitement. To do this, stop your activities from time to time and affirm: “Now I am releasing nervous excitement out - it flows out of me. I am calm". Don't tear. Don't dream. Develop calmness.
In order to achieve this state of being productive for life, I recommend developing a calm mindset. Every day we perform a number of necessary procedures related to taking care of our body: we take a shower or bath, brush our teeth, do morning exercises. Likewise, we should devote some time and some effort to keeping our minds healthy. Here is one way to achieve this: sit in a quiet place and run a series of calming thoughts through your mind. For example, some memory of a once seen majestic mountain or valley, over which fog rises, of a river sparkling in the sun, where trout splashes, or a silvery reflection of moonlight on the surface of the water.
At least once a day, preferably during the busiest time of the day, deliberately stop all activities for ten to fifteen minutes and practice a state of serenity.
There are times when it is necessary to resolutely restrain our unrestrained pace, and I must emphasize that the only way to stop is to stop and stop.
Once I went to one of the cities to give a lecture, which was agreed in advance, and at the train I was met by representatives of some committee. I was promptly dragged to a bookstore where I was forced to sign autographs. Then, just as quickly, I was dragged to a light breakfast arranged in my honor, after I swallowed this breakfast with great speed, I was picked up and taken to the meeting. After the meeting, I was wheeled back at the same speed to the hotel, where I changed, and was then hurried to a reception, where I was greeted by several hundred people and drank three glasses of punch. I was then rushed back to the hotel and told that I had twenty minutes to change for dinner. As I was changing my clothes, the phone rang and someone said, "Hurry up, please, we have to rush to lunch." I excitedly replied, "I'm already running."
I rushed out of the room, so excited that I could barely get the key into the keyhole. Hurriedly feeling myself to make sure I was fully dressed, I rushed to the elevator. And then he stopped. I caught my breath. I asked myself: “What is all this for? What's the point of this never ending race? It's funny, after all!"
And then I declared my independence and said: “I don’t care if I get to dinner or not. I don't care if I make a speech or not. I don't have to go to this dinner and I don't have to give a speech." After that, I consciously slowly returned to my room and slowly unlocked the door. Then he called the escort who was waiting downstairs and said: “If you want to eat, go ahead. If you want to take a seat for me, then after a while I will go down, but I do not intend to rush anywhere else.
So I sat and rested and prayed for fifteen minutes. I will never forget the sense of peace and contentment that I felt when I left the room. I seemed to have heroically overcome something, took control of my emotions, and when I arrived for dinner, the invitees had just finished the first course. I only missed the soup, which by all accounts was not such a big loss.
This incident made it possible to be convinced of the amazing effect of the healing Divine presence. I acquired these values in a very simple way - I stopped, calmly read the Bible, prayed sincerely, and filled my mind with calming thoughts for a few minutes.
Doctors generally believe that most physical ailments could be avoided or overcome by constantly practicing the philosophical attitude - no need to tear and throw.
A prominent New Yorker once told me that his doctor advised him to come to our church clinic. “Because,” he said, “you need to develop a philosophical lifestyle. Your energy resources have run out."
“My doctor says I am pushing myself to the limit. He says that I'm too tense, too tight, that I'm too ripping and slashing. He declares that the only treatment suitable for me is the development of what he calls a philosophical way of life.
My visitor stood up and began pacing excitedly up and down the room, then asked, “But how the hell can I work this out? Easy to say, hard to do."
Then this excited gentleman continued his story. His doctor gave him specific guidelines for developing this quiet, philosophical lifestyle. The recommendations turned out to be really wise. “But then,” the patient explained, “the doctor suggested that I see your people here in the church, because he thinks that if I learn to use religious faith in practice, it will give my mind peace and reduce blood pressure, after which will make me feel better physically. And although I admit that my doctor's prescription makes sense," he concluded plaintively, "but how can a fifty-year-old man, such an overwrought nature as I, suddenly change the habits that he has acquired throughout his life, and develop this so-called philosophical image life?"
Indeed, this seemed like a difficult problem, since this man was a solid bundle of nerves that were overexcited to the limit. He tossed about the room, pounded the table with his fist, spoke in a loud, excited voice, and gave the impression of an extremely anxious, bewildered person. Obviously, his affairs were in a very bad state, but in parallel with this, his inner state was also revealed. The picture obtained in this way gave us a chance to help him because we were able to better understand his nature.
As I listened to his words and observed his position, I understood anew why Jesus Christ has consistently maintained his amazing influence over people. Because He had an answer to problems like this, and I verified that fact by suddenly changing the subject of our conversation. Without any introductory words, I began to quote some places from the Bible, for example: "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). And again: “Peace I leave you, My peace I give you: not as the world gives, I give you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" (Gospel of John 14:27). And again: “You keep a firm spirit in perfect peace, for he trusts in you” (Book of the Prophet Isaiah 26:3).
I quoted these words quietly, slowly, thoughtfully. As soon as I stopped talking, I immediately noticed that the excitement of my visitor subsided. Calm settled over him, and we both sat in silence for a while. It seemed like we were sitting like this for a few minutes, maybe less, but then he took a deep breath and said, “It's funny, but I feel much better. Isn't that strange? I think those words did it." “No, not only the words,” I answered, “although they certainly had a significant effect on your mind, but something incomprehensible that happened after that. A moment ago He touched you - the Healer - with His healing touch. He was in this room."
My visitor did not show any surprise at this statement, but readily and impetuously agreed - and conviction was written on his face. “That's right, He was definitely here. I felt Him. I understand what you meant. Now I know that Jesus Christ will help me develop a philosophical way of life.”
This man found what more and more people are discovering today: simple faith and the use of the principles and methods of Christianity give peace and rest, and therefore new strength to the body, mind and spirit. It is the perfect antidote for those who vomit and rage. It helps a person to find peace and thus open up new resources of strength.
Of course, it was necessary to teach this person a new way of thinking and behavior. This was done in part with the help of relevant literature written by experts in the field of spiritual culture. For example, we gave him lessons in church attendance. We showed him that you can take the church service as a kind of therapy. We instructed him in the scientific use of prayer and relaxation. And in the end, as a result of this practice, he became a healthy person. Anyone who wants to follow this program and sincerely apply these principles day in and day out, I am sure, will be able to develop inner peace and strength. Many of these methods are presented in this book.
The control of emotions in the daily practice of healing methods is a factor of paramount importance. Emotional control cannot be achieved by magic or some easy way. You can't work it out just by reading a book, although that often helps. The only guaranteed method is regular, persistent, scientifically based work in this direction and the development of creative faith.
I advise you to start with the basic and simple procedure of regular practice of being in physical rest. Do not step from corner to corner. Don't wring your hands. Do not pound the table with your fists, do not shout, do not quarrel. Don't let yourself work to the point of exhaustion. With nervous excitement, the physical movements of a person become convulsive. Therefore, start with the simplest, stopping all physical movement. Stand still for a while, or sit or lie down. And, it goes without saying, only speak in the lowest tones.
When developing control over your condition, it is necessary to think about silence, because the body is very sensitive and responds to the way of thinking that prevails over the mind. Indeed, the mind can be calmed by calming the body first. In other words, the physical state can bring about the desired mental attitude.
Once in my speech I touched on the following incident, which occurred at a meeting of some committee, where I was then present. One gentleman who heard me tell this story was deeply impressed by it, and he took this truth to heart. He tried the suggested methods and then reported that they were very effective in getting his throwing and throwing habit under control.
Once I was present at a meeting where the heated discussion turned rather bitter towards the end. Passions flared up, and some of the participants were almost on the verge of collapse. Sharp retorts followed. And suddenly one man got up, slowly took off his jacket, unbuttoned the collar of his shirt and lay down on the couch. Everyone was in amazement, and someone even asked if he was ill.
"No," he said, "I feel great, but I'm starting to lose my temper, and I know from experience that it's hard to lose my temper while lying down."
We all laughed and the tension eased. Then our eccentric friend went into further explanation and told how he learned to do "one little trick" with himself. He had an unbalanced character, and when he felt himself losing his temper and began to clench his fists and raise his voice, he immediately slowly spread his fingers, not allowing them to clench into a fist again. He did the same with his voice: when tension increased or anger grew, he deliberately suppressed the sound of his voice and switched to a whisper. “After all, it is absolutely impossible to argue in a whisper,” he said with a laugh.
This principle can be effective in controlling emotional arousal, irritation, and tension, as many have found in the course of such experiments. Therefore, the initial step in achieving a calm state is to work out your physical reactions. You will be surprised at how quickly this cools the heat of your emotions, and when this heat subsides, you will no longer have any desire to tear and throw. You have no idea how much energy and effort you will save. And how much less tired you will be. In addition, this is a very suitable procedure for developing phlegm, indifference and even indifference. Don't be afraid to try to build inertia. With such skills, people are less likely to experience emotional breakdowns. Highly organized individuals will benefit from such an ability to switch their reactions. But it is quite natural that a person of this type does not want to lose such qualities as sensitivity and responsiveness. However, having developed a certain degree of phlegm, a harmonious personality acquires only a more balanced emotional position.
What follows is a six-step method that I personally find extremely helpful for those who want to break the habit of throwing and tearing. I have recommended this method to so many people who have found it extremely helpful.
Mantra of Peace of Mind
Self-confidence is usually called that belief in one's abilities and strengths, without which it is very difficult to achieve any significant goals in the modern world. You can find answers to questions about how to develop self-confidence and how to make sure that you look worthy in the eyes of the people around you in this article, or rather, in the simple recommendations given in it.
10 Ways to Build Self-Confidence
How a person can “teach” himself largely depends on his success, both professionally and in his personal life. Therefore, many people are interested in the question of how to develop self-confidence. So far no one has been able to find a definitive answer. However, the task set - the acquisition of confidence can be somewhat facilitated if you follow the advice and recommendations of psychologists exactly:
Be competent in the issues that you deal with in life. The deeper you know your subject, the better you navigate it, the less you will have to think about how to develop self-confidence.
Remember that the inner confidence of a person is usually clearly reflected in his behavior. Several universal characteristics of confident behavior can be identified: it is a smooth, unhurried speech, the absence of hesitation and reservations in it, open postures, a gaze directed towards the interlocutor, a firm gait, and a straight posture. Develop your self-confidence by adhering to these qualities in your behavior.
Try to do everything possible to build confidence in yourself and avoid thinking that there is something wrong with your appearance. If you are dissatisfied with your physical form, immediately go on a diet or go in for sports. If you think that this or that clothing looks much worse on you than on others, change your style. If necessary, contact a specialist who can pick up some perfectly fitting, stylish suits for you, in which you can feel confident.
Inner confidence is impossible without an appropriate external appearance, which is created by clothes, shoes and accessories. It is not necessary in the pursuit of beauty to clog the closet with all sorts of rubbish. There should be few things, but all of them simply must be of high quality and be combined with each other. In addition, clothes and shoes must be kept clean and tidy - a stain on a blouse or wrinkled trousers has not yet given confidence to anyone.
Choose your role model. An idol can be a person from whom you can borrow a demeanor, features of speech and gestures, approaches to choosing wardrobe items. At the same time, it does not matter who it will be - your close friend, or someone you can only see on TV.
Be inspired by the positive results of your activities. To build self-confidence, praise yourself even for small, insignificant accomplishments. At the same time, stop reproaching yourself for previous mistakes and mistakes made: with reproaches and self-flagellation, you are unlikely to be able to fix something, but you will be able to destroy self-confidence.
Show concern for others, insecure and weak people. If you manage to cheer up an outsider who constantly doubts his own abilities, then, along with his confidence, your own will increase.
Public performance. This is a stressful way to build confidence, but allows you to do it in the shortest possible time - just one performance is enough. Of course, it is very difficult to decide whether to read a speech in front of an audience or sing a song - it's like stepping into ice water. However, having taken this step, a person experiences great relief and will never again doubt his abilities.
Gait and gestures. Psychologists say that if you increase the pace of your walking at least by 1/4, not only the perception of others will change, but also your own feeling of a person - he will become more businesslike and more confident. The same applies to gestures, which should be concise, quick, but by no means fussy.
Summary. A good support for an insecure person will be a reminder of his merits. For such a "demonstration" you need to take a sheet of paper and write on it all your victories and achievements, not even missing victories in children's competitions. At the moment when doubts about your own abilities begin to torment, in order to develop self-confidence, you just need to get a piece of paper and remember how much has already been achieved.
Not "gallery". At school, at the institute, and then at trainings or meetings at work, everyone tries to take the last place in order to be unnoticed. It is necessary to break this habit radically and sit in the front row without fear, but on the contrary, attracting everyone's attention.
How to Build Self-Confidence: The Hypnotic Way
This method of developing self-confidence helps the client to get in touch with past feelings of self-confidence and use them now and in the future. How to develop self-confidence. Now relax even more deeply than before, relax and calm down, saying to yourself: "I can, I will, deep down my own interests are important to me."
You see, you told me that you've had self-confidence issues in the past. But still, a person with little self-confidence would not email me or call me, and would not take the necessary steps to sort out their problem. A person who is not confident in himself would not call at all, would not make an appointment and would not show up for it, and I am absolutely sure that you are here today.
Now I will speak to you, and you will be able to make the changes that you really want to make, because your subconscious mind is listening to me and will receive my messages and will act in accordance with the messages that it hears. And you will find that when this happens, you will be much happier within yourself. So much more... satisfaction you will feel from who you are, what you have, and from all that you are capable of.
Can you remember a time when you felt confident in yourself, situations in the past and up to the most recent occasions when you experienced this feeling? And you can remember how you stood, walked or talked, clearly remember now how you did it at that time, it is very easy to behave in this way.
Thinking about what you seriously want to achieve here, be calm and relaxed, just the way you are. All your wonderful and unique qualities are not in dispute, because you know that it does not matter who judges you, what they may think of you, and you will never know about it, and besides, it does not matter.
What matters is what you think and where you use your unique and amazing abilities - do you remember them? Is it the ability to relax and feel free and comfortable? These abilities to relax and feel at ease and comfortable, to be calm and unruffled when someone asks you, your jaw is relaxed, as if an elastic bandage has been removed; it allows you to think and express your true thoughts clearly, with equanimity. Just breathe, in-breath out, unconsciously, all the time.
You can feel the pleasure of being like your own parents. You understand that although you cannot know what situations that child inside you may face, what kind of conversations he has in the depths of himself, you will always be there for him, you will always help with the necessary, useful advice.
You will teach him the right behavior, take care of him, encourage and encourage him in this. You will dispel the panic by telling yourself that everything will be fine with you, that you can easily achieve it, that you have the potential to do it, and that you will help him achieve it.
You will be able to get rid of everything that could be, and could not be, and probably will never be as scary and bad as you used to imagine, because you believe in yourself now, believe that you can handle it , when the time comes.
This is the only way to do it. Since you now know that your mind is full of happy, positive, calming thoughts, you don't really even have time to analyze, to speculate about things that might never happen.
You know that when and if such a time comes, you will say positive words to yourself, you will tune in to the best outcome for yourself and you will do it seriously. You can easily do this, right?
Because even if your self-confidence was hidden away, it just had to be found in the depths of your memory or simply seen in others. It's here, you have it, otherwise you wouldn't even know what it was or how to use it, but you know that, right?
© Tsapleva Lera
© Photo: depositphotos.com
