It is believed that it is psychologically much more comfortable for a person to agree than to refuse. Indeed, many have great difficulty in saying "No", even if objectively they had all the moral and legal rights to refuse. We suggest that you do not ignore the right to negative answers and give a few advice, how to learn to refuse and don't worry about it.
Why is it important to be able to say no?
Feelings of guilt and embarrassment, anger on yourself and the one who addressed you, wasted time, money etc., execution someone else's work, solution other people's problems etc. - these are just some of the consequences that those who do not know how to refuse correctly face. Plus to that broken plans, problems with friends or family members, which are "exchanged" for the execution of the next request, constant stress, lack of time and other "joys of life", up to serious psychological problems. And all because of the difficulty in saying no.
Here we add the fact that many manipulators know very well (on a conscious or subconscious level) who from their environment cannot refuse, and are starting to take advantage of it.. It is in this way that some begin to work for two, regularly take care of other people's children or take on the solution of other people's problems on an ongoing basis. But even if you are lucky and there are no manipulators in your environment (or they could not adapt you to solve their goals), the ability to refuse a request or something like that will certainly come in handy for you.
Of course, we are not suggesting saying no to everyone at all (especially before the question has been raised). We just want to help you learn to say no and not feel bad about it. Therefore, in this article we do not offer you universal “excuses” for all occasions: our focus is not on excuses, but on the very process of how best to refuse so as not to offend anyone and not experience internal torment yourself.
Why and to whom we do not like to refuse
Before moving on to practical advice on how to properly refuse people, let's think about why it is generally difficult for us to do this? In relation to different personalities, different reasons come into play, but the most typical ones can be distinguished. As with many other questions, 
knowledge of the cause is necessary in order to choose the correct strategy of action in the future.
Such people like to feel needed and useful, they like the feeling that they are needed. And here, as in the case of universal adoration, among other things, it is important to work with the root cause of such a state.One of the top tips: overcome the fear of rejection and the resulting guilt. This is especially true in cases where the problem is caused by internal settings and/or if you are dealing with manipulators. Having said “No” once, you will see that the world has not turned upside down, but to take on unnecessary tasks, problems, etc. you didn't have to. For some people, such "experiments" in rejection after a series of endless consents give a sense of freedom, a feeling that they themselves control their own destiny, etc. Perhaps you will enjoy this experience so much that all the moral anguish that could be associated with this event will disappear by itself.
Choose the right way to communicate
Of course, for most people, refusing in person is harder than over the phone, and verbally harder than in writing. Remember this, and especially at first choose the most convenient way for you(most likely, it will be electronic means of communication). Transfer to it even those who contact you through a different “channel”. For example, if a distant friend calls you with a request that seems completely inappropriate to you, say that you need to check the calendar, work plan, discuss it with your significant other, etc. And after a while, write your refusal - for example, by SMS, by mail, through a social network, etc. This, among other things, will help you reduce the intensity of bad emotions (both on your part and on his part) and, probably, not let yourself be convinced (more below).
Choose a response form
Sometimes the best rejection is just say "no"(a more detailed version is “No, I can’t”, “No, it won’t work like that”, etc.), without giving any explanation. This is especially true when you are dealing with manipulators (colleagues who have already hung their tasks on you or shameless relatives to whom everyone owes). If they will 
insist on an answer do not give a specific reason, and answer as streamlined as possible: “I don’t have such an opportunity”, “I already said that I can’t do this”, “It categorically does not suit me”. Repeat the same answer (for example, "No, I can't") until you get left behind.
Short answers don't give you the opportunity to break down your excuses and show that you can really do anything. Plus, you won't look defensive (we'll talk more about this below). Another advantage: short answers will help you shorten the conversation, and therefore the chance that the interlocutor will still force you to do what he needs.
Of course, this advice is completely inappropriate if you are thinking about how to tactfully refuse a friend, spouse or other close person - in a word, someone who is really dear to you. In this case, the reason must be given. And here we move on to the next point.
Don't make excuses
In most cases, if you say no to someone, you will be expected to explain. It's very it is important to give a reason, but not to make excuses. In theory, most understand the difference between these terms, but how to distinguish one from the other in practice? It seems that the main thing is not even so much in the specific occasion that you bring up, but in how you present the information.
As you work on your ability to say no, check out our article on developing emotional and social intelligence. Those who have a high level of EQ and SQ find it much easier to communicate and understand people's emotions.
In particular, don't give out too many details or bombard the person with unnecessary information, don't apologize too much, don't throw out multiple reasons at once, don't show guilt (both verbally and non-verbally), etc. Be calm (at least outwardly) and confident. Imagine that you are just talking about the weather outside the window - give the facts, but do not put yourself in the position of being guilty or subordinate.
Excuses are bad, firstly, because they are poorly perceived by others: if you show yourself to be actually guilty, then they will perceive you in exactly the same way. Secondly, excuses can affect your inner guilt - if you talk about yourself as if you are guilty, then most likely you will think too. Thus, even within the framework of the internal dialogue, do not justify yourself, but indicate the reasons.
Suggest options
If we are talking about people who are really dear to you, then it is logical to accompany the refusal not only by indicating the reason, but also offering an alternative. This, firstly, will demonstrate to colleagues / friends / relatives that, in principle, you want to help them and are ready to meet halfway, but the request they offer really does not suit you. Secondly, it will help you get rid of guilt or embarrassment for the rejection.
You will see that you do not leave a person to the mercy of fate and that he will be able to solve his problem one way or another. Among other things, this advice will help cut off those who are not aimed at finding compromises or more convenient options for you, but simply want to shift their worries onto your shoulders.
Stand your ground
If you choose to refuse don't let yourself be convinced. If you feel that you are almost ready to say “Well, I persuaded you” or “Well, well ...”, then it is best to either interrupt the communication, or start giving the shortest possible answers, 
what we talked about above. This rule is especially true if you are dealing with manipulators, annoying colleagues, impudent relatives, etc. If you change your mind, this will be additional evidence for those around you that you will definitely agree to everything, it is enough just to put more pressure on you.
The same advice is relevant if you are “lucky” to run into a person who does not know how to accept refusals. For some, this trait is so pronounced that they seem to "turn off" when they hear the word "no", and the conversation actually begins to go in circles. In this case, we offer you just stop talking. Yes, the last word will remain with your interlocutor, but by that time you will have time to clearly express your position on this issue. Remember, he who has ears, let him hear.
Consent as denial
An interesting and practical option, how beautiful it is to say no in response to an inappropriate request - agree. And be sure to set your own conditions.- perhaps those that will turn your consent into an actual refusal. For example, if you are asked to take a hack, set very high prices or extended deadlines. If your friends ask you to come to the other end of the city to water the flowers, say that you will have time to do this only if you take a taxi, and ask if your friends are ready to pay for it (money in advance!).
If a colleague asks you to take over his project, tell him to arrange with your boss to remove the current task from you. If the boss himself became the source of the problems, say that you will take on a new task, but then you definitely won’t have time for this and that, and let the boss decide what task you will eventually take on. If you are regularly asked to go out on the weekend, in response to another such request, say that you will go out, but then on Monday you will have to take the day off.
In all these cases, it is very important speak calmly and firmly, without giving an ultimatum or making excuses. Moreover, if your counterpart agrees to the proposed conditions, it is understood that you, in turn, will have to do what you agreed to. Therefore, try to think in advance about what exactly to ask for.
Remain calm [at least outwardly]
calmness(at least externally) is a very important quality for those who want to comprehend the art of delicate refusals. 
First, calmness will be evidence of your self-confidence. Secondly, sometimes excessive emotionality can lead to conflicts and resentment. It turns out, for example, as follows. Suppose you are asked to babysit. Considering that the refusal will lead to a quarrel and proceedings, you initially respond with a challenge (although no one has yet reproached you for anything). As a result, your friend receives a verbal “slap in the face” at a completely calm request. Most likely, this is precisely what will cause his resentment, and not at all that you do not want to sit with the child.
And of course, maintaining outer calmness increases the chances that you will soon achieve inner peace as well. And by that we mean that you will begin to say no faster, without really experiencing moral anguish.
Don't forget to think about yourself
The problem with many who do not know how to refuse is that they think too much about others and too little about themselves. In itself, of course, this is beautiful, philanthropic, noble, and so on. However, this only becomes to your detriment if you are dealing with someone who only cares about himself and does not think about you at all. In such cases there is no one to take care of you but you. 
When communicating with such people, it is important to put your interests, plans, goals, etc. in the first place.
When refusing someone, remind yourself that you really don't owe anything to anyone.. In other words, you can help a person if you see fit, or you may not help - especially if you understand that in fact you are simply being taken advantage of because you do not know how to refuse.
Once again, we repeat that we do not call for absolute selfishness or for saying no to everyone. We urge only that you take a balanced approach to incoming requests and proposals and agreed because you really want and can help, and not because you cannot refuse.
What you should not be afraid of, refusing people
In the last part of the material, we decided to summarize some aspects regarding the two most common fears associated with saying no to other people. It's about hurt and missed opportunities. Why aren't they really as scary as they seem?
Don't be afraid of resentment
This principle is relevant for almost all groups to whom you want to say no. Of course, different approaches will work for different people. So, the insults of impudent relatives who have already bothered you are not equivalent to the insults of the people you really care about. In general, here we can offer the following rationalistic model: if you have an adequate person in front of you who needs your help, he will not be offended by a motivated refusal and by offering an alternative option (or a joint search for it). 
Of course, he can show negative emotions (excitement, annoyance, etc.), however, most likely, it will not be about resentment or conflicts. Again, with the right person, problems can be solved.
If they take offense at you even because of a trifle, then, probably, the matter is in one of two options: 1) it's not about rejection; 2) in front of you one of the "problem" personality types: manipulator, not quite adequate person, too narcissistic person, etc. In the first case, it is logical to deal with the root cause (but not right now, but when you both move away from emotions a little). In the second, the most rational option would be to correlate the actual need / importance of what you are asked for and the inconvenience that it will cause you. In such situations, it is useful to remember that for most manipulators and inadequate people the concept of gratitude is alien, but they very easily sit on the neck of others. So think about how terrible this offense is for you? Maybe because of her, in fact, it will only make you feel better, since this person will stop pestering you?
Don't be afraid to miss opportunities
As we said, sometimes we cannot refuse a boss or, for example, a colleague, because we believe that later this will backfire on us or because of this we will miss some opportunities. Of course, this option cannot be ruled out, but it is useful to remember the other side of this problem. Often, those who always agree to everything are perceived worse than those who can firmly and correctly refuse. The fact is that once you get used to getting your consent, colleagues and management will take it for granted and absolutely for granted. Your endless readiness to meet halfway will not be perceived as your merit and is unlikely to bring any dividends.
The psychological side of the issue is also important. People who agree to everything are often seen as insecure, with low self-esteem, a sucker, or as a job addict. 
(in material or moral terms). This opinion is formed even when none of the above actually applies to the employee. As a result, instead of writing an additional bonus or promoting such an employee, more and more people begin to use him. Although, of course, this is only the most common scenario for the development of events, and not a rule. Just keep this principle in mind when you are going to work the next weekend for free.
The ability to say no to an inappropriate request from colleagues or a boss (or agree, but ask for compensation) is more likely to benefit you than endless consents. Then at least it will not turn out that you sacrificed everything for the company, and it bypassed you at every opportunity.
Of course, if you have already managed to earn the fame of a person who is always ready for anything, turn away colleagues gradually- first gently ask for compensation or offer compromises, give consent, but on your own terms. Otherwise, it is likely that your refusals will be considered whims and cause too much displeasure. Once colleagues get used to the change in your behavior, your "No" will be perceived as quite normal.
Olga Vorobieva 9.10.2015 9031
If you are unwilling or unable to comply with a friend or relative's request, say one of these phrases. They will help politely refuse any person.
To be honest, I didn’t know how to say “no” to people before. I helped everyone who asked: girlfriends, second cousins, random fellow travelers, “neighbors” in the store queue. Far from always their requests were easily fulfilled, often they caused me inconvenience.
One day I realized that I needed to learn how to say no. And if over time I began to refuse strangers without remorse, then things were more complicated with friends and relatives - they could be offended by me because of the refusal.
As a result, by trial and error, I formulated phrases that will help to refuse relatives and friends, and do it as politely as possible. Perhaps these words will be useful to you.
Your offer is very tempting, but I can't do it yet.
This phrase is suitable, for example, if family friends invited you and your husband to relax with tents, and you really don’t want to go to the forest because of annoying mosquitoes and lack of hot water. And in general, you have not been interested in such a vacation option for a long time (probably since you studied at the university).
But you are afraid that the refusal will entail unpleasant consequences: your friends will no longer offer you not only a vacation with tents, but they will not invite you to the theater or to fun family gatherings.
I think this is the most successful form of polite refusal: you will let your friends know that you are happy with their offer, but explain that circumstances are preventing you.
This type of denial can only be applied a few times. Otherwise, friends will suspect something was wrong. However, I see two ways out of this situation: to admit that you do not like to relax with tents, or to remember your youth and still take a chance.
I would lend you money, but I have a bad experience
We often have to say no to friends or relatives when they ask for a loan of large sums of money. Let me give you an example from life: I always helped out my sister if she did not have enough money for food before her salary. But when she asked me to lend her money to buy a new car, I tensed up. Yes, I had some savings, but at that time I was planning to fly on vacation with the whole family. But the sister, most likely, would not have had time to return the money on time.
I had to refuse a loved one by saying this phrase. I referred to a real story when a close friend did not return a debt to me. She disappeared and even changed her phone number. I lost both friendship and money.
My sister understood me and after the refusal decided to buy a cheaper car. So everyone was a winner.
I can't help you, but I'll do it for you...
If you can’t or don’t want to (and you have every right, by the way) to do what a friend or relative asks you to do, you can refuse him that way. The main thing is to offer a nice bonus in return for your refusal.
Once a friend asked me to bring her a sack of potatoes from the dacha. And by that time we had already distributed all the excess stocks. I turned her down, but invited their whole family to try my new dish -
Saying "no" is right
General rules for polite refusal:
- Before you refuse, consider whether the request is really difficult for you to fulfill. Weigh all the pros and cons.
- During the rejection, do not joke or smile. Speak firmly and confidently.
- Try to argue your refusal (unless, of course, your arguments do not offend a person).
- When refusing, do it by saying that you are very pleased that the person turned to you for help.
- Offer a friend or relative a way out of this situation.
- Avoid words with a negative connotation: "error", "problem", "failure", "delusion".
If it’s easy for you to fulfill a request, do what a loved one asks you to do. After all, someday you will have to turn to him for help.
Helpful Hints
Turning down another person is always difficult, and many of us make commitments that we would like to avoid.
Sometimes we we agree out of politeness, and sometimes we just don’t know how to refuse a person.
Human nature is such that we want to like b to other people, we want to be kind and pleasant.
In many cases, the inability to say "no" can become a problem because,that we forget about ourselves and our needs, while trying not to hurt someone's feelings.
If you're afraid of rejection most of the time, you're doing yourself a disservice. It's important for you to prioritize. By agreeing to everything, you risk simply burning out.
So how to refuse a person without offending him? Here are some tips how to do it politely and tactfully.
How to learn to say no to people
1. Use the word "No".
Use " No", "Not this time", but not " I don't think so", "I'm not sure", "Maybe next time". The word "No" has incredible power. Use it if you are absolutely and precisely sure that there can be no other answer. And you do not need to apologize for your answer. Practice saying the word "No" until you feel comfortable, pronouncing it.
2. Use strong but polite options.
I appreciate your time, but no thanks.
Thank you for thinking of me, but my plate is already full.
No thanks!
Not today, thanks.
Not for me, thanks.
I'm afraid I can't.
I'm not really into yoga/hard rock/computer games, but thanks for asking.
I don't feel like it.
Perhaps I will refuse.
3. Notcunning.
This goes for family, friends, and even your boss. You don't have to come up with some elaborate gimmick all the time - just say you don't want to. If you don't want to go to an event because you've had a tough week and would rather stay home and watch TV, say so. Don't make up a dying grandmother to make your excuse more acceptable.
4. Don't keep explaining.
In some cases it is better not to go into details. If you start making excuses too much, it will look like you are lying, or it will allow the person asking you to find workarounds and get you to agree.
5. Don't be afraid to say it twice.
Some people don't respect other people's boundaries or are used to the person giving up if asked again. Don't give in just because someone is too pushy. Smile politely, and say "No" again, even more firmly than the first time.
6. If necessary, say "because."
Research has shown that the word "because" makes people agree with you, even if the reason is completely absurd. Instead of saying, "Sorry, I can't arrange the meeting," try to give a reason to soften the rejection.
7. Smile and shake your head.
You can resort to this before leaving. This works when people on the streets are handing out flyers or trying to get you to sign something.
8. Be persistent.
How to refuse a request
16. Don't delay.
There is no point in making a person wait for an answer if you know the answer will be no. Delaying the response only exacerbates the situation. Don't say "I'll think about it" if you're not going to.
17. You can change your answer.
If you agreed once, it does not mean that you should always do it.
18. Repeat this often.
The devil is not as scary as he is painted. The more you practice, the less intimidating it becomes. Start refusing everything that does not add any value to your life.
19. What a pity!
When you say "I'm sorry, I can't," while it softens your message and makes it polite, it sounds rather vague. It's better to say " What a pity, I would like to help, but I already made an appointment with .... I wish you good luck".
20. Desire to please.
We often agree with something that is not of paramount importance, because we do not want people to think badly of us. However, some people will think badly of us anyway, no matter how polite you are. So stop worrying about what other people think and finally say "No".
21. Get ahead of the request.
When you learn to say no, you will begin to proactively say "No" before the request comes up. If you think that your friend is going to invite you to the wedding, let him know that you are broke.
22. Avoid those who constantly ask for something.
If you know a person who constantly asks for money, never returning it, avoid him, especially when you know that he is just such a period.
23. A harmless lie.
Of course, in most cases you need to tell the truth, but sometimes you have to be creative with the answer. For example, if you know that your grandmother will try to persuade you to eat her pies, let her know that the doctor forbade you to eat flour if you do not want to offend her. If the grandmother is very persistent, go back to tip number 2.
24. Not now.
You should only use this answer if you know for sure that you will consider this request later. For example, you can say that you will look into this matter when you return in a week. If the request is not urgent, do not drop everything, but say that you will take up work as soon as you complete your project.
How beautifully and competently to refuse
25. It's not about you, but about me.
Use this phrase if you feel that the idea/person/event is more suitable for someone else, but that someone is not you. You can also say that it doesn't suit you.
26. It's not about me, but about you.
Turn this phrase around and don't be afraid to say a firm "No" if you're sure of it. For example, if you're a vegetarian and don't want to "just a little" try your aunt's meat, say: " Thanks, but you know I'm a vegetarian and will never try this.". Draw the line when you need to and people will respect your choice.
27. Show empathy .
Sometimes all it takes is empathy for the other person. For example, " I know it's annoying, but I can't, I'm sorry".
28. You don't have to be nice all the time.
Do you need permission to refuse because you don't want to? Consider that you have been given it.
29. State your discomfort.
If a friend asks you to borrow money, say something like: " I don't like borrowing money, I'm sorry".
How to refuse a job
30. I would like to help you.
Sometimes you need to be softer. " I'd like to help you with a project, but I'm swamped with work this week.".
31. Thank you, but no.
Sometimes, that's all there is to say. Or you can say the above phrase to soften the answer. Thus, you thank the person for contacting you, tactfully refusing him.
32. Use facial expressions and gestures.
Shake your head, raise your eyebrows, and sometimes roll your eyes. Use body language to show that you are serious, even when you politely refuse.
33. Buy time.
Use this as a last resort or you risk being bombarded with requests later. You're just postponing the inevitable, but if it helps you, you can say: " let me think about it", "I'll check my schedule and say".
34. I'm flattered, but no thanks.
Sometimes you need to be grateful that a person has asked you for something. For example, you were offered a promotion at work, but you did not want it.
35. I really shouldn't.
This answer is suitable for when you would like to say "Yes" but feel you should say no. For example, when you receive an unexpected gift. When you say this, the person is likely to respond so that you accept them without any hesitation.
36. For nothing in the world!
This phrase should be used with caution, and perhaps only with friends.
37. I said "No".
This works in the case of children or pushy counselors. Again, be polite but firm.
38. This is not the best option.
This is a gentle way of saying "No" when, for example, you are asked "Does this neon dress suit me?". Instead of responding abruptly, say that this is not the best color, and you should try on a blue dress.
39. Mmm, no (accompanied by laughter)
Use this phrase carefully, for example, when someone asks you to work for free or tries to insult you.
40. I know that you were not hoping for this answer.
It is important to acknowledge the other person's feelings, and this response will help soften the rejection. If you know that the person expects something from you that you cannot do, say "No" and say this phrase.
How to tactfully refuse
The ability to write rejection letters is one of the most important skills of an employee of an enterprise responsible for the organization's external relations and business correspondence. The content and presentation of such a letter not only speak about the education and culture of its originator, but also form the image and reputation of the enterprise in the business environment.
What are the reasons for business correspondence
Each actively working company regularly receives letters with various offers. This may be a proposal for cooperation (commercial), for participation in an event (conference, seminar, celebration), etc. Letters of inquiry, claims, reminders, etc. are also common in circulation between organizations. Thus, the incoming correspondence of an enterprise can amount to tens or even hundreds of different messages that require a response.
FILES Open these files online 4 files
How to issue a waiver
Consideration of this or that letter in no way guarantees that the representative of the organization who received it will necessarily agree to the proposal, request or claim contained in it. On the contrary, in many cases employees of companies write refusals.
But in order to refuse correctly, certain skills are needed. It is important not to offend the sender of the letter with negative content - this is dictated not only by the rules of elementary business courtesy, but also by the possibility that in the future he may become a customer, client or partner.
General information about a business letter
All official correspondence is subject to certain drafting rules. First of all, it must be remembered that, despite the fact that the content of the letter can be completely arbitrary, its structure and composition must comply with the standards adopted in the design of business papers, i.e. conditionally divided into three parts: beginning (address and heading of the letter), main section and conclusion (signature and date).
The writing style should be restrained, concise, without unnecessarily "loaded" sentences, complex specific terminology. Refusal should be made as correct as possible, rudeness, profanity and other extreme manifestations are unacceptable in it. When forming a letter, it is necessary to take into account the norms of the Russian language in terms of the culture of speech, vocabulary, grammar, spelling and style.
The refusal may be unmotivated, but it is still better if the letter indicates its reason.
If the answer is detailed and detailed, then it should be divided into paragraphs or paragraphs - this way the perception of the text is greatly facilitated.
In case of refusal, it is not necessary to chop off the shoulder and “burn bridges”, it is advisable to leave the path to retreat, that is, to thank for the attention paid and express hope for the possibility of further cooperation. To do this, you can specify conditions that the recipient can fulfill in order to establish a business relationship. If there is an opportunity to advise an enterprise that would also agree to cooperation or other proposals made in the original message, then it should not be neglected - this will leave a good mark in the memory of the addressee.
In whose name to write
The refusal must be written strictly in the name of the person who signed the original letter. Otherwise, the refusal may not reach the addressee or get lost in the flow of incoming mail. However, if there was no signature of a specific person under the offer letter, then a neutral form of address can be used (for example, in the form of a simple greeting “Good afternoon”).
Drafting a rejection letter
The letter can be written by hand (this format will speak of a special, warm attitude towards the addressee) or printed on a computer.
In this case, it is permissible to use a simple sheet of paper or a form with company details and a company logo.
The letter of refusal is formed in a single original copy, must be dated and numbered (in accordance with the document flow of the enterprise). At the same time, information about it should be included in the log of outgoing correspondence, noting its date, number and briefly - content. In the future, this journal may become evidence of the creation and sending of the message.
Who must sign
Ideally, the letter should be autographed by the director of the organization, but perhaps this is far from always (and almost completely excluded in enterprises with a large number of employees and many structural divisions). Therefore, any employee of the company authorized to create this kind of documentation and endowed with the right to sign correspondence can sign a letter of refusal. It can be a secretary, lawyer, head or specialist of any department.
How to send a letter
A letter can be sent in many ways, and it is best to choose the one through which the original message came. Sending via Russian post is most acceptable, but in this case you should take a registered order with a return receipt, you can also use a transfer through a representative or courier (this method guarantees faster delivery). It is also acceptable to use a fax, electronic means of communication and even social networks or instant messengers (but only on condition that the sender of the initial letter himself uses this way of communication).
Non-cooperation letter
If you need to create a letter of refusal to cooperate, see its sample and comments to it.
- At the beginning of the letter, write for whom it is intended: indicate the name of the organization, position and full name of its representative, in whose name you are writing the answer. Use a polite form of address, thank you for the attention shown to your company, and then move on to the essence of the message.
- Be sure to refer to the letter in response to which you are writing a refusal, indicate the circumstances that caused the negative reaction. If any additional papers were attached to his proposal by your opponent, indicate that you have read them.
- If possible, express in the letter an expression of hope that cooperation will nevertheless take place, without failing to introduce the conditions that must be met for this.
- Finally, sign the letter and date it.
Letter of refusal to participate in the event
When writing a letter of refusal to participate in an event, use the above recommendations for a letter of refusal to cooperate. Everything in the letter is standard, but mandatory: information about the sender and addressee, then the appeal, the refusal itself with a mention of the proposal to participate in the event and the circumstances that led to the negative answer, then the signature and date.
Job offer rejection letter
Not only from the enterprise can receive a letter of refusal. In some cases, it can be expressed by a person who has nothing to do with the company: for example, an applicant for a position. If you are just such a person, form a refusal also in accordance with the rules and regulations of business documentation. Use courtesy, indicate the name of the job offered to you, as well as the reason why you refuse it (keep in mind that a potential employer may revise the terms of the job offered to you). Be sure to sign and date at the end.
Letova Olga
Your company can produce a great product at a fair price or provide the highest quality service, you can be polite and considerate to your customers. But it does not matter, because customers will always find a reason to be dissatisfied.
The program freezes, the taxi is stuck in a traffic jam, the courier is driving too slowly,“I thought that it would be green, and this is the color of the sea wave”, “can I have a discount of not 10% but at least 35%”, “where is the moon from the sky for these couple of thousand?”.
No, reciprocal rudeness, even if it seems like an adequate response, is not an option. But in any case, you must learn to say “no” to clients, on the one hand, without burning guilt and, on the other, without aggression.
We will tell you about ways to politely refuse, which will help you cope with an awkward situation and shamelessly say “no” to a client without ruining your relationship with him.
Ask for clarification
Quite often, customer complaints are emotional, but not very meaningful:
“Your update sucks, what the hell!!! Return everything as it was!”, “Where is that manager, it seems that his name was Vasily, with whom I talked on Wednesday? I want to work only with him, but I don’t know you at all and don’t want to know! What does quit mean? How can I be?.
When clients behave in this way, they at least give you the opportunity to ask a clarifying question, such as this:
“I am very sorry to hear this. Could you clarify what exactly you liked about the previous version that you couldn't find after the update? Why did you like working with Vasily? If you explain, I will try to take this into account, and maybe it will become more convenient for you to work with our company.”
Of course, you will not replace the new version of the product with the old one, nor will you persuade the retired Vasily to return back, you will not even try. In this case, it doesn't matter.
You will give the client a reason to feel that their opinion is really important to you and that your company cares about it.
By the way, an added bonus is that customer explanations will actually help you solve their problem.
Promise the client to consider his request in the future
Very often, customers take the phrase too literally. "every whim for your money" and want from your company what it cannot give them.
Pizza delivery companies don't usually provide trash pickup or dog walking as an added option. And pizza is not always the same as rolls. Companies specializing in organizing children's parties rarely deal with bachelor parties, but sometimes the client does not think so.
It would seem simple “no, we deliver pizza, not rolls” it would be enough. But this is not entirely true, because
Firstly, this upsets the client and reduces his potential loyalty (after all, someday he will want pizza),
A Secondly, you deprive yourself of an additional and completely free marketing tool.
In order not to upset the client, you can answer something like this:
“Unfortunately, at the moment we are not engaged in the delivery of rolls, but we will definitely think about it. Our company closely monitors customer requests, and if there are enough requests like yours, we will revise our range in the future.”
The client is pleased to know that his request will not disappear and that he was paid attention, even if this is the type of client who tries to order a striptease from a children's party agency.
However, it is important to keep in mind that this kind of polite refusal only works if your company is really ready to change its product line based on customer requests.
But don't lie
No matter how much you want to reassure the client just to get rid of him "here and now", don't do it. Avoid lies and empty promises.
You should not lie to the client that his request will be taken into account and considered if you are not even going to share this information with those who make such decisions.
It is bad to deceive a client, not only because it is unethical, but also because people usually feel good about this kind of insincerity, and your cunning can turn against you.
It's better to upset the client and say "no" than to cheat by saying: "We will certainly consider your request." Because after a while, when you forget about him or your unsuspecting colleague or, even worse, your boss takes your place, the stubborn client will call back and ask how things are going with his “Wishlist”.
Say "no" in other words
If you still need to refuse a client's request, you may well do so without using the word "no" at all.
Instead of “No, we do not and will not have a stripper cake” you can say “Yes, we understand that many people like striptease and groceries and that it would be an interesting move to combine them, but I'm afraid our company is not ready for this and it is unlikely that we will ever have this option” or "There is currently no way we can do this for you, but thanks for taking the time."
An honest but polite response is more likely to leave the door open for future success, and the client won't feel like they've wasted their time with you.
Let the client feel like they've been heard
Very often it is important for people to understand that their problem has been heard and understood. Simple tricks like addressing the customer by name or phrases like "I understand what you're talking about" continue to work.
Thank people for letting you know what they need. Whatever their problem, it is important that they took the time to contact you, even if they do not distinguish rolls from pizza and do not understand that the call center operator will not solve their problems with low learning new technologies.
By the way: Respond quickly, but not too quickly, so as not to arouse the unpleasant suspicion in the client that you are doing this automatically without even delving into his problem.
Suggest alternatives
If you are serious about maintaining customer loyalty to your company or to you personally in the long term, you should try to help them, even if it does not bring you obvious benefits right now. Yes, you do not deliver rolls, but you can immediately name the company that does it, even if it is your competitor.
The next most important thing for the client (after getting what he wanted to receive) is the feeling that his request was treated carefully and seriously enough.
If you skillfully and almost honestly combine different techniques of polite refusal, then your “no” will be perceived by the client almost as a “yes”. This will not only avoid embarrassment, but will also strengthen the two-way relationship between the client and the company and, last but not least, between you and the client.
