I can't hold back my tears. How to hold back tears from resentment

26.09.2019
The first thing you can try to do is try not to think about the things that make you cry. The more you think about them, the more you want to cry. Think, for example, about your work or study. Engage yourself in a problem that requires your maximum concentration. For example, try mentally multiplying two or three digit numbers, or just keep count of all the objects around you. However, do not think about things that make you tender. They can lead to tears, which in your case will only worsen the situation.

Control yourself

Crying is most often directly related to emotional experiences. Therefore, the natural way to prevent tears is to control yourself. Try to calm down, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe slowly and through your nose. This will help you release the tension that occurs just before crying and stabilize your emotional state. You can try counting to 10 by alternating between inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. This will help you to move away from negative thoughts as much as possible.

Physical activity

You can also distract yourself with physical movements to prevent crying. Some of them block tears naturally. Try, for example, biting your lips, pinching yourself, or clenching your hands as tightly as possible into a fist. Such physical activity will not let you cry. However, do not bring yourself to pain, it can cause the opposite effect. Sometimes it is easier to hold back tears when they are already coming. At this moment, try to open your eyes as much as possible and raise your eyebrows up. It is almost impossible to cry in this position.

Try also to go for a short run outdoors or exercise. The tighter they are, the better. Such activity will lead to the release of endorphins by the body, which will cheer you up, give you vigor and thus keep you from crying.

Lump in the throat

If you are in a stressful situation and are very emotional about it, holding back tears can be extremely difficult. The main problem in this case is the sensation of a lump in the throat, which occurs as a result of the expansion of the glottis in your throat. This leads to nervous tension and encourages crying. To get rid of this feeling, drink a glass of water in small sips. This will help relax the muscles and calm the nerves. If you can't drink, take slow, deep breaths. Try swallowing air, sometimes it helps to soothe your throat.

People cry from the very first day of life - this is a natural reaction of our body to stress. The cause of tears is a feeling of deep grief, resentment, disappointment. Pity and compassion, a sense of pride and sincere joy can also cause tears. Psychologists agree that crying is good. However, there are situations in life when to cry means to lose, to show one's weakness, vulnerability. What to do when you need to restrain yourself at any cost, you will learn from this article.

In what situations do you need to restrain yourself?

Women are often called crybabies. Yes, our mobile psyche reacts to any emotional shock. We cry from overwhelming feelings. Tears are needed. They help to cope with stress, extinguish negative emotions. Particularly useful for us are tears of sympathy, which heal not only our body, but also our soul.

But there are times when you can't cry.

Here are some of them:

  1. On the exam. It seems to you that the teacher is too picky and decided to give you a deuce in the test at any cost. But you are tired and studied all night. Tears of resentment well up in my eyes. These tears cannot be held back;

In such a situation, it is absolutely impossible to cry. Why? A small child with tears causes pity for himself, attracts attention. Crying, he gives a signal: I am weak, have pity on me. In an exam, crying is more likely to cause a backlash. She cries, so she doesn’t know anything, she didn’t teach, she tries to pity.

To be equal with the teacher, you need to show that you are an adult and know how to restrain yourself.

  1. At the interview. At the interview, you are asked a lot of incorrect, in your opinion, questions, making you show emotions and get nervous. The fact is that the employer has his own idea of ​​what kind of employee he needs. In order to check whether the applicant is resistant to stress and unforeseen situations, a so-called stress interview is conducted. Shedding tears is the most unfortunate way out in this situation. This means showing your weakness and unsuitability for the job you are applying for. If you need this job, you should definitely hold back tears when talking with the employer;
  2. On the street with a large crowd of people. It happens that an unexpected trouble took you by surprise. A misfortune happened, a loved one left. The natural way out in this case is sobs and bitter tears. No need to cry in the street. This will cause unnecessary attention of strangers. Passers-by are unlikely to be able to help you. But scammers who take advantage of a vulnerable state of a person will not pass by.

It is undeniable that there are a lot of situations in which you need to restrain yourself. You have come across them many times. How to hold back the tears that came at the wrong time and control your emotions?


  1. Switching attention;

If tears are already welling up in your eyes and you need to hold them back, you can mentally ask yourself one of the following questions: "Did I turn off the iron?", “Did the neighbors flood me?”. Psychologists call these questions "adrenaline". A sharp release of adrenaline into the blood will change your emotions, and you will not cry.

  1. Turning on the imagination;

Present your offender in a funny and ridiculous way.

Or try "substitution method" You are the boss, and the boss is you. How many kind words would you say to him? Here, the main thing is not to overdo it. Loud laughter in such a situation is also inappropriate.

Physical Ways to Stop Crying

  1. Change your body position. If you are sitting, stand up, you can take a few steps, move a chair, shift papers. Act according to the situation;
  2. Inhale slowly and deeply, straighten your shoulders, raise your head up;
  3. Interlock and disengage your fingers. You can pinch your hand;
  4. Ask for water, take a few deep, slow sips;
  5. Shift your gaze, look into the distance or at a picture hanging on the wall.

If you are going to cry for a physical reason: your eyes are watery from fatigue, dust or mote has got in, you are allergic to pungent odors, then these measures will not help you. In this situation, the best way out is to apologize and try to eliminate the cause of the tears. Take your medicine, flush your eyes, go outside for fresh air.

So that a negative mood after an unpleasant conversation does not haunt you all day, take emergency measures:


  1. wash immediately with cold water;
  2. read "to yourself", if possible, then aloud a cheerful children's poem;
  3. go to the mirror, smile at yourself through force, then again. This can be done until the smile becomes natural;
  4. drink hot sweet tea.

If you cry very often for the slightest reason and it is very difficult for you to hold back tears, consult a doctor. Perhaps you have health problems. It can be stress, chronic fatigue, thyroid disease.

All people cry from time to time. However, there are times when you can and should cry, and there are times when you need to be able to hold back your tears, but you still cry.

If you are wondering how to contain such emotions, this information is just for you. But at the same time, remember that the old stereotypes that tears are a purely female emotional reaction are all in the past. Everyone is crying these days. In fact, it is sometimes helpful as crying balances your emotions and relieves stress.

Of course, there are moments in life when you do not want someone to see your tears. Fair. You decide when, where and for how long you do it, right? But if you do not know how to control your tears, then sometimes everyone sees them when you do not want them at all.

If you want to know how not to cry in the most inopportune situations, here are 13 tips to help you hold back your tears.

Breathe

Everything is exactly the same as in the movies. Just breathe deeply. Now it's our turn to tell you about it! Focus on your breathing, take long, deep breaths. If you have trouble concentrating and you can hardly breathe because of excitement, try to focus on someone else's breathing.

pinch yourself

Crying is always very difficult to control because it is a psychological response to a given situation. So you can control him by using physical force to divert attention. If you want to know how to stop crying, pinch yourself. Surprisingly, this will distract you and focus on the physical pain instead. However, be careful not to overdo it with your efforts. All you need is one solid nail prick or pinch.

Tighten your muscles

If you want to control your tears, try tensing your muscles. When people cry, it means they feel passive and helpless. Therefore, you must do the opposite. When you tense your muscles, you will feel more confident and thus won't cry.

Drink something cold

This is kind of weird advice when it comes to not crying at inopportune moments, but it really works. Your tears are stimulated by the facial nerve. So all that needs to be done is to stimulate the facial nerve with another sensation.

You need to pour yourself a glass of cold water and drink as if you were dying of thirst. This will stimulate the endings of the facial nerve and at the same time divert your attention from the unpleasant news that is about to make you cry.

Step back

Obviously, there is something in your environment that upsets you. So, if you can, try to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. Try to avoid moments that will trigger these emotions, at least for a while, until you calm down. It's not worth it.

Pay attention to your thoughts

What makes you cry? Why do you cry when you see someone cheating on someone or when your dog licks your face? Perhaps some childhood memories evoke these emotions? Ask yourself these questions so you can figure out what's upsetting you so much. That way, the next time the situation is the same, you will recognize the triggers.

Take your eyes off to the side

It may sound and look a bit odd, but if it works, why not? Look away, switch your attention to someone else. It can actually help you hold back your tears. Of course, people around you may throw strange looks in your direction, but keep looking around until you calm down. Do whatever you can to help keep you from crying.

physical movements

Don't sit in your chair - that will only make things worse. You need to get up and move around, for example, you can clean the room or go for a coffee break. Keep moving, because that's the only way you can distract yourself. Your main goal is to run away from bad thoughts.

Try to push the lump out of your throat

You know what it's about. This com is causing all the problems. When you are about to cry, you may feel it build up in your throat. You need to get rid of this barrier as soon as possible if you do not want to burst into tears. So, take a couple of sips of water, hold a little in your mouth and sip slowly.

Don't listen to happy music

You probably thought that positive music would not be on this list, but often it is such melodies that bring tears. It is best to listen to sad music. This will help you sort out your emotions and calm down.

Think about the future

Perhaps you just broke up with your partner or lost your job. If you can't stop crying at this moment, think about the future and tell yourself that everything will be fine. You may worry deep down, but it will help you look to the future, not the current situation.

Talk

It may seem a little strange, but when you feel like you're about to cry, just talk to yourself. Yes, it probably looks weird, but it really helps to calm down, especially if you have no one else to talk to. If you have friends, talk to them about how you feel. Verbal release of emotions can prevent tears from flowing from the eyes.

Let it all out

Over time, you will learn to hold back your tears, but at some point you will need to let out everything that has boiled up, everything that you have been hiding inside for so long. It makes no sense to keep these negative feelings inside. Find a place where you feel comfortable crying.

Take a warm bath or watch a sad movie. It doesn't matter how you want it to turn out, just do it. In the morning you will feel much better.

While it's important to get rid of these emotions, sometimes you just don't want to or shouldn't. So, try some of these tips for not crying the next time you feel like tears are about to come out.

First, try each of these methods separately, determine the most effective for yourself. And then you can already experiment, combining two methods or more, everything will depend, so to speak, on the complexity of the situation. The main thing is not to cry at the most inopportune moment, and you are striving for this. Learn to control your emotions when needed.

Crying is a normal physiological reaction inherent in absolutely all people. Everyone knows that when a person cries, it is a reaction to stress. It happens, of course, that a person cries due to chemical or mechanical irritation of the eye. Often people cry when they peel onions. Surely every person at least once in his life got a speck in his eye and for this reason a tear welled up. It is far from news that crying helps to relieve emotional stress and calm down. It is also known that tears are similar in composition to sweat and urine. Despite this, there are times when you need to hold back your tears and not show that you are upset. There are many reasons for crying: someone offended, memories flooded in, etc. Obviously, in some situations, you need to hold back your tears, especially in public. How to learn to hold back your tears?

Of course, tears are much harder to hide than laughter. If you have been offended, then in order to defend your honor, you must not show it, so tears are inappropriate.

How to control your feelings?

One way to hold back your tears and control your emotions is to inflict pain on yourself, such as pinching. The pain impulse will help you not to cry at the wrong moment. If you feel like you're about to cry, bite your tongue, lip, or pinch your arm. Just do not get too carried away, otherwise you will have to cry not from resentment, but from pain.

But it's not always easy to stop crying. The surest way is to eliminate the cause of your tears, or at least distract from it. There is also a method known to everyone - if someone offended you, imagine him in a funny way, which will sufficiently reduce the offense, and it may even cheer someone up. For example, imagine the abuser in ridiculous clothes or reduce him in size. The main thing is not to go to the other extreme and not laugh.

  1. If you have a tear because of past memories, you need to distract yourself with something more interesting or think about something pleasant. You can, for example, imagine a green baboon, as the grandfather advised the hero of the book "Lullaby for a Brother."
  2. Basically, you can imagine whatever you want. Just try to imagine something fun. If instead of one problem you think about another, then this is unlikely to help you cheer up.
  3. Calm and even breathing will help to normalize your condition. It is also worth noting that crying, in addition to tears, is also accompanied by a contraction of the facial muscles, contractions of the diaphragm, the rhythm of breathing changes, which is manifested in sobs and sobs. Thus, even breathing, of course, will not save you from tears, but it will help to nullify sobbing and sobbing.

Despite the harm, cigarettes can help hold back tears for some. This is because when a smoker takes a puff, they take a deeper breath. Of course, given the dangers of smoking, it would be foolish to recommend this method, so it is better to use methods that are not harmful to health.

An important detail: you should use techniques that help hold back tears only in cases where it is really very important for you not to cry in public at the moment. If you are alone, then cry as much as you need to get rid of the accumulated negativity, otherwise you will definitely have to cry, sooner or later.

If you notice that you want to cry more often than usual, with or without a reason, this may be the cause of disorders of the endocrine and nervous systems. It is best to consult a doctor in this case.



Similar articles