Nikolai Nosov, a writer of bright humorous talent, believed that children begin to understand jokes very early, before the age of two, and that the violation of the order of things that they have just learned is funny. In general, Nosov's books, as a rule, have two addresses - a child and an educator. Nosov helps the educator to understand the motives and motivations of the child's actions, and therefore to find more subtle ways of influencing him. He brings up a child with laughter, and this, as you know, is a better educator than any edification.
In Nosov's humorous stories for younger schoolchildren and preschool children, the funny is not in the circumstances, but in the characters, the comedy of which stems from the peculiarity of a boyish nature. Nosov's funny books tell about serious things, and children, perceiving the life experience of the heroes, will learn how difficult, but how good it is to be responsible for the task assigned.
Stories for children of preschool and primary school age, action-packed, dynamic, full of unexpected comic situations. The stories are full of lyricism and humor; The story is usually told in the first person.
Humorous situations help Nosov show the logic of the hero's thinking and behavior. “The real reason for the funny lies not in external circumstances, but is rooted in the people themselves, in human characters,” Nosov wrote.
The writer's insight into the psychology of the child is artistically authentic. His works reflect the peculiarities of children's perception. Laconic expressive dialogue, a comic situation help the author to describe the characters of the guys
Nosov in his stories knows how to talk with children, knows how to understand the innermost thoughts. Reading Nosov's stories, you see real guys in front of you - exactly the same as we meet in everyday life, with their strengths and weaknesses, thoughtfulness and naivety. The writer boldly resorts in his work to fantasy, mischievous fiction. At the heart of each of his stories or novels is an incident that happened or could happen in life, describes the characters of the guys, which we often meet in the surrounding reality.
The strength of his stories and stories lies in the truthful, ingenuous display of a peculiar and cheerful childish character.
All the work of Nikolai Nosov is permeated with genuine, intelligent love for children. Whichever of Nosov's stories we begin to read, immediately, from the first page, we experience joy. And the more we read, the more fun it becomes.
In funny stories, there is always something that makes you think seriously. Think about how it is necessary to prepare yourself for an independent life from an early age: learn to cook porridge, fry minnows in a pan, plant seedlings in the garden and repair the telephone, light sparklers and follow the rules of the street. Everyone should know and be able to do this. These stories help to get rid of bad character traits - absent-mindedness, cowardice, excessive curiosity, rudeness and arrogance, laziness and indifference.
The writer teaches little children to think not only about themselves, but also about their comrades. Together with the heroes, we experience spiritual relief, great satisfaction. The writer is generally opposed to flaunting the moralizing thought of his work, and strives to write in such a way that the little reader himself draws a conclusion. Possessing a deep understanding of children, the writer never presents a fact in its purest form, without conjecture, without creative imagination. N.N. Nosov is an amazing children's writer. It is surprising and remarkable in that not only children receive a charge of extraordinary cheerfulness, vigor, a surge of strength, but adults immediately plunge into the atmosphere of childhood, remembering their "difficult" childhood problems.
The artistic word always more emotionally expresses the everyday problems faced by teachers, parents and children. It is much more effective than boring moralizing, instructions, explanations. And a lively discussion of Nosov's stories is not only an exciting journey along with the heroes of his books through the country of childhood, it is also the accumulation of life experience, moral concepts, what is "good", what is "bad", how to do the right thing, how to learn to be strong, bold.
Reading Nosov's stories to children, you can have fun, laugh heartily, and draw important conclusions for yourself, do not forget that next to you are the same girls and boys, who do not always go smoothly and do well, that you can learn everything, you need to just keep your nose down and be able to be friends.
This is the moral and aesthetic side. The social position of the children's writer, his worldview is reflected in his work. The internal organization of a work addressed to children reflects the worldview of the author himself, his social, moral and aesthetic orientation in the world.
The story "The Living Hat" will always remain relevant. This hilarious story was a favorite of many in childhood. Why is it so well remembered by children? Yes, because “childish fears” haunt the child throughout his childhood: “What if this coat is alive and will grab me now?”, “What if the closet opens now and someone terrible comes out of it?”.
Such or other similar "horrors" often visit small children. And Nosov's story "The Living Hat" is, as it were, a guide for kids on how to overcome their fear. After reading this story, the child remembers it every time he is haunted by "invented" fears, and then he smiles, the fear goes away, he is bold and cheerful.
The power of life-affirmation is a common feature of children's literature. The very life-affirmation of childhood is optimistic. A small child is sure that the world he has come to is created for happiness, that this is a correct and lasting world. Such a feeling is the basis of the child's moral health and future ability for creative work.
A story about honesty - "Cucumbers" by N. Nosov. How many experiences Kotka got for the collective farm cucumbers! Not understanding what he did wrong, he rejoices, carrying cucumbers from the collective farm field home to his mother, not expecting her angry reaction: “Now bring them back!” And he is afraid of the watchman - they just managed to run away and be glad that he did not catch up - and here you have to go and voluntarily “surrender”. And it's already late - it's dark outside, it's scary. But on the other hand, when Kotka returned the cucumbers to the watchman, there was joy in his soul, and the way home was now pleasant for him, not terrible. Or has he become bolder, more confident in himself?
There are no "bad" stories in Nosov's stories. He builds his works in such a way that children do not notice that they are taught a polite, respectful attitude towards adults, they are taught to live in harmony and peace.
On the pages of Nosov's works, a lively dialogue sounds, conveying to everything that happens the hero - the boy, in his own way, often the attitude of the very directly illuminating certain artistically reliable events. This penetration into the psychology of the hero, who evaluates everything from his own, boyish point of view, creates not only a comical situation in Nosov’s stories, but also humorously colors the logic of the hero’s behavior, which sometimes contradicts the logic of adults or the logic of common sense.
If you recall the heroes of the story "Mishkin's porridge", "- Don't worry! I saw my mother cooking. You will be full, you will not die of hunger. I will cook such porridge that you will lick your fingers! You just marvel at their independence and skill! Broke the stove. The bear poured cereal into the pan. I speak:
More rash. I really want to eat!
He poured a full pan and poured water to the top.
Isn't there a lot of water? - I ask. - The mess will work.
It's okay, mom does it all the time. You just look after the stove, and I'll cook, be calm.
Well, I look behind the stove, put firewood, and Mishka cooks porridge, that is, he doesn’t cook, but sits and looks at the pan, she cooks herself.
Well, they couldn’t cook porridge, but after all, they melted the stove, they put firewood on it. They get water from the well - they drowned the bucket, it’s true, but they still got it with a mug, a pan. "- Nonsense! I will bring it now. He took the matches, tied a rope to the bucket and went to the well. Returns in a minute.
Where is the water? - I ask.
Water... there, in the well.
I know what's in the well. Where is the bucket of water?
And a bucket, - he says, - in the well.
How - in the well?
Yes, in the well.
Missed?
Missed."
The minnows have been cleaned and, you see, they would have been fried if the oil had not burned. “We are freaks! Mishka says. - We have minnows!
I speak:
There is no time now to mess around with minnows! Soon it will start to light up.
So we will not cook them, but fry them. It's fast - once, and it's ready.
Come on, - I say, - if quickly. And if it will be like porridge, then it’s better not to.
In a moment, you'll see."
And most importantly, they found the right solution - they asked a neighbor to cook porridge, and for this they weeded her garden. "Mishka said:
Weeds are rubbish! Quite an easy task. Much easier than cooking porridge! So too, stormy energy and fantasy, combined with an overestimation of their capabilities and a lack of life experience, often put kids in a ridiculous position, which is even more aggravated by the fact that failure does not discourage them, but, on the contrary, is usually a source of new fantasies and unexpected actions.
Nikolai Nikolaevich so skillfully hid behind the little heroes that it seemed as if they themselves, without any participation of the author, were talking about their lives, about sorrows, joys, problems and dreams. In the center of the works of N. Nosov are dreamers, fidgets, indefatigable inventors, who are often punished for their inventions. The most ordinary life situations turn into unusually funny instructive stories in Nosov's stories.
Nosov's stories always include an educational element. There is it in a story about cucumbers stolen from a collective farm garden, and how Fedya Rybkin “forgot how to laugh in class” (“Blob”), and about the bad habit of learning lessons by turning on the radio (“Fedya’s task”). But even the most "moralistic stories" of the writer are interesting and close to children, because they help them understand the relationship between people.
The heroes of Nosov’s work are actively striving to learn about their surroundings: either they searched the entire yard, climbed all the sheds and attics (“Shurik at Grandpa’s”), then they worked all day - “they built a snow hill” (“On the hill”).
Nosov's boys carry all the traits of a person: his integrity, excitement, spirituality, eternal desire, the habit of inventing, which in reality corresponds to the images of real guys.
The work of N. Nosov is diverse and versatile. Laughter is the main engine of his creativity. Unlike the vast majority of comedians, Nosov has established himself as a theoretician of the funny.
For N. Nosov, the discovery and explanation of the world to children is one of the most important artistic tasks.
One can talk about Nosov - a humorist, Nosov - a satirist for a long time: almost every line written by him is related to laughter.
Nosov's books are readily translated almost all over the world. Back in 1955, the UNESCO Courier magazine published data according to which Nosov was the third among the most translated Russian writers in the world - right after Gorky and Pushkin! In this sense, he is ahead of all children's writers.
The continuation of the traditions of Nosov's humorous stories can be seen in the works of such writers as V. Dragunsky, V. Medvedev and other modern writers.
Call Natasha on the phone!
- Natasha is not there, what can I tell her?
Give her five roubles!
The patient came to the doctor:
- Doctor, you advised me to fall asleep, count to 100,000!
- Well, how did you fall asleep?
No, it's already morning! Sent by Yana Sukhoverkhova from Estonia, Pärnu on May 18, 2003
- Vasya! Does it bother you that you're left-handed?
- No. Every person has their own shortcomings. Here you are, for example, with which hand do you stir the tea?
- Right!
- Here you see! And normal people interfere with a spoon!
A psycho is walking down the street and dragging a thread behind him.
A passer-by asks him:
- Why are you dragging a thread behind you?
What should I push forward?
- I have a neighbor - a vampire was.
— How did you know that?
- And I drove an aspen stake into his chest, and he died.
"Boy, why are you crying so bitterly?"
- Due to rheumatism.
- What? So small, and you already have rheumatism?
- No, I got a deuce, because I wrote "rhyme" in the dictation!
— Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
- And the day after tomorrow?
"Petya, what are you laughing at?" Personally, I don't see anything funny!
- And you can’t see: after all, you sat on my sandwich with jam!
— Petya, how many excellent students are in your class?
“Not counting me, four.
- Are you an excellent student?
- No. That's what I said - except for me!
Phone call in the teacher's room:
— Hello! Is this Anna Alekseevna? Tolya's mother says.
— Who-whom? I can't hear well!
- Tolya! I spell it out: Tatyana, Oleg, Leonid, Ivan, Kirill, Andrey!
- What? And all the kids are in my class?
In a drawing lesson, one student turns to a neighbor on the desk:
- You drew well! I've whetted my appetite!
— Appetite? From sunrise?
- Wow! I thought you drew an egg!
During the singing lesson, the teacher said:
Let's talk about opera today. Who knows what opera is?
Vovochka raised his hand:
- I know. This is when one person kills another in a duel, and he sings for a long time before falling!
The teacher handed out notebooks after checking the dictation.
Vovochka approaches the teacher with his notebook and asks:
“Maria Ivanovna, I didn’t understand what you wrote down here!
- I wrote: "Sidorov, write legibly!"
The teacher told the lesson about the great inventors. Then she asked the students:
- What would you like to invent?
One student said:
- I would invent such an automaton: press a button - and all the lessons are ready!
- Well, lazy! the teacher laughed.
Here Vovochka raised his hand and said:
- And I would come up with a device that would press this button!
Vovochka answers in a zoology lesson:
- The length of the crocodile from head to tail is 5 meters, and from tail to head - 7 meters ...
“Think about what you are saying,” the teacher interrupts Vovochka. - Is it possible?
“It happens,” Vovochka replies. - For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
— Vovochka, what do you want to be when you grow up?
— An ornithologist.
Is this the one who studies birds?
- Yeah. I want to cross a dove with a parrot.
- For what?
- And if suddenly the dove gets lost so that he can ask for the way home!
The teacher asks Vovochka:
What teeth are the last to appear in a person?
“Artificial,” answered Little Johnny.
Vovochka stops the car on the street:
- Uncle, take me to school!
- I'm going in the opposite direction.
- All the better!
- Dad, - says Little Johnny, - I have to tell you that tomorrow there will be a small meeting of students, parents and teachers at the school.
What does "small" mean?
“It’s just you, me, and the class teacher.
We wrote a dictation. When Alla Grigoryevna was checking notebooks, she turned to Antonov:
- Kolya, why are you so inattentive? I dictated: "The door creaked and opened." What did you write? "The door creaked and fell off!"
And everyone laughed!
“Vorobiev,” said the teacher, “you didn’t do your homework again!” Why?
— Igor Ivanovich, we had no electricity yesterday.
— And what were you doing? I suppose you watched TV?
Yeah, in the dark...
And everyone laughed!
A young teacher complains to her friend:
- One of my students completely tortured me: he makes noise, hooligans, disrupts lessons!
“But does he have at least one positive quality?”
- Unfortunately, there is - he does not miss classes ...
At the German lesson, we went through the topic "My Hobby". The teacher called Petya Grigoriev. He stood and was silent for a long time.
“I don’t hear an answer,” said Elena Alekseevna. — What is your hobby?
Then Petya said in German:
— Their bean briefmark! (I'm a postage stamp!)
And everyone laughed!
The lesson has begun. The teacher asked:
- Duty officer, who is missing from the class?
Pimenov looked around and said:
- Missing Mushkin.
At that moment, Mushkin's head appeared in the doorway:
I'm not absent, I'm here!
And everyone laughed!
It was a geometry lesson.
- Who solved the problem? asked Igor Petrovich.
Vasya Rybin was the first to raise his hand.
- Excellent, Rybin, - the teacher praised, - Please, to the blackboard!
Vasya went to the blackboard and said importantly:
Consider triangle ABCD!
And everyone laughed!
Why weren't you at school yesterday?
“My older brother is sick.
— And what about you?
And I rode his bike!
— Petrov, why are you learning English so badly?
- What for?
- What do you mean why? After all, this language is spoken by half of the globe!
“And isn’t that enough?
- Petya, if you met old Hottabych, what wish would you ask him to fulfill?
— I would ask to make London the capital of France.
- Why?
- And I answered yesterday in geography and got a deuce! ..
- Well done, mitya. dad says. — How did you manage to get an A in zoology?
- They asked me how many legs an ostrich has and I answered - three.
“Wait, but an ostrich has two legs!”
— Yes, but all the others said four!
Petya was invited to visit. They tell him:
Petya, take another piece of cake.
Thanks, I've already eaten two pieces.
“Then eat a tangerine.”
Thanks, I've already eaten three tangerines.
“Then take some fruit with you.
Thanks, I already got it!
Cheburashka found a penny on the road. Comes to the store where they sell toys. He gives a penny to the saleswoman and says:
“Give me this toy, this one, and this one!”
The saleswoman looks at him in surprise.
- Well, what are you waiting for? Cheburashka says. - Let's change, and I went!
Vovochka with dad at the zoo are standing by the cage where the lion sits.
- Dad, - says Little Johnny, - and if a lion accidentally jumps out of the cage and eats you, which bus should I take home? ..
- Dad, - asks Little Johnny, - why don't you have a car?
— No money for a car. So don't be lazy, study better, become a good specialist and buy yourself a car.
- Dad, why were you lazy at school?
“Petya,” Dad asks, “why are you limping?”
“I put my foot in the mousetrap and got pinched.
Don't poke your nose where it doesn't belong!
— Grandpa, what are you doing with this bottle? Do you want to install a boat in it?
“That's exactly what I wanted at first. And now I would be glad to just pull my hand out of the bottle!
“Daddy,” the daughter turns to her father, “our phone works ugly!”
— And why did you decide so?
- Now I was talking with my girlfriend and did not understand anything.
Have you tried taking turns speaking?
“Mom,” asked Little Johnny, “how much toothpaste is in the tube?”
- Don't know.
- And I know: from the sofa to the door!
- Dad, get on the phone! Petya called to his father, who was shaving in front of the mirror.
When dad finished the conversation, Petya asked him:
Dad, are you good at remembering faces?
“I seem to remember. And what?
“The thing is, I accidentally broke your mirror…
- Dad, what is "telefigurotivization"?
- Don't know. Where did you read it?
I didn't read it, I wrote it!
- Natasha, why are you writing a letter to your grandmother so slowly?
- It's okay: after all, grandmother also reads slowly!
Anna, what have you done! You broke a vase that was two hundred years old!
What a blessing, Mom! I thought it was brand new!
- Mom, what is etiquette?
- This is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed ...
The art teacher says to Vovochka's father:
“Your son has exceptional abilities. Yesterday he drew a fly on the desk, and I even beat off my hand, trying to drive it away!
— What's that! Recently, he made a crocodile in the bathroom, and I got so scared that I tried to jump out through the door, which was also painted on the wall.
Vovochka says to his father:
- Dad, I decided to give you a present for your birthday!
- The best gift for me, - said dad, - is if you study for one five.
“Too late, dad, I already bought you a tie!”
A little boy is watching his dad at work, who is painting the ceiling.
Mom says:
- Look, Petya, and learn. And when you grow up, you will help dad.
Petya is surprised:
“What, he won’t have finished by then?”
The hostess, hiring a new maid, asked her:
“Tell me, dear, do you like parrots?”
— Oh, don't worry, madam, I eat everything!
An auction is taking place in the pet store - there is a sale of talking parrots. One of the buyers who bought the parrot asks the seller:
Does he really speak well?
- Still would! After all, he was always raising the price!
- Petya, what will you do if you are attacked by hooligans?
- I'm not afraid of them - I know judo, karate, aikedo and other scary words!
— Hello! Animal defence community? In my yard, a postman sits on a tree and calls my poor dog names with various bad words!
The three bears return to their hut.
— Who touched my plate and ate my porridge?! Papa Bear growled.
Who touched my saucer and ate my porridge?! squeaked the little bear.
“Calm down,” said the mother bear. - There was no porridge: I didn’t cook it today!
One person caught a cold and decided to be treated by self-hypnosis. He stood in front of the mirror and began to suggest to himself:
- I won't sneeze, I won't sneeze, I won't sneeze... A-a-pchhi!!! It's not me, it's not me, it's not me...
“Mommy, why does daddy have so little hair on his head?”
- The fact is that our dad thinks a lot.
"Then why do you have such curly hair?"
- Dad, today the teacher told us about an insect that lives only one day. That's great!
- Why - "great"?
- Imagine, you can celebrate your birthday all your life!
One fisherman, a teacher by profession, caught a small catfish, admired it, and, throwing it back into the river, said:
“Go home and come tomorrow with your parents!”
Husband and wife came by car to visit. Leaving the car at the house, they tied the dog nearby and told her to guard the car. When they got ready to return home in the evening, they saw that all the wheels had been removed from the car. And a note was attached to the car: "Do not scold the dog, it was barking!"
One Englishman went into a bar with a dog and said to the visitors:
- I bet that my talking dog will now read Hamlet's monologue "To be or not to be!"
Alas, he immediately lost the bet. Because the dog didn't say a single word.
Coming out of the bar, the owner began to shout at the dog:
- Are you completely stupid? I lost a thousand pounds because of you!
"You're stupid," said the dog. “Don’t you understand that tomorrow in the same bar we can win ten times more!”
- You have a strange dog - she sleeps all day. How can she guard the house?
- It's very simple: when someone else approaches the house, we wake her up, and she starts barking.
The wolf is going to eat the hare. Hare says:
- Let's agree. I will give you three riddles. If you don't guess them, then you will let me go.
- Agree.
— A pair of black, shiny, with laces.
The wolf is silent.
- It's a pair of shoes. Now the second riddle: four black, shiny, with laces.
The wolf is silent.
- Two pairs of boots. The third riddle is the most difficult: lives in a swamp, green, croaks, starts with "la", ends with "gushka".
The wolf shouts joyfully:
- Three pairs of boots!
Bats hang from the ceiling. All, as expected, heads down, and one - head up. Mice hanging in the neighborhood are talking:
Why is she hanging upside down?
And she does yoga!
The crow found a large piece of cheese. Then a fox suddenly jumped out from behind the bushes and gave the crow a slap on the back of the head. The cheese fell out, the fox immediately grabbed it and ran away.
Stunned crow with resentment says:
- Wow, the fable was reduced!
The out of breath director of the zoo comes running to the police station:
- For God's sake, help - an elephant ran away from us!
"Calm down, citizen," said the policeman. We'll find your elephant. Name special signs!
An owl flies and shouts:
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
Suddenly he hit a pole:
- Wow!
A Japanese schoolboy enters a company store that sells watches.
— Do you have a reliable alarm clock?
“There is nowhere safer,” the seller answers. “First, a siren goes off, then an artillery salvo goes off, and a glass of cold water is poured over your face. If that doesn't work, the alarm will ring the school and let you know you've got the flu!
Guide: - in front of you is a rare exhibit of our museum - a beautiful statue of a Greek warrior. Unfortunately, he is missing an arm and a leg, and his head is damaged in some places. The title is "Winner".
Visitor: Great! I'd like to see what's left of the vanquished!
A foreign tourist who has arrived in Paris addresses a Frenchman:
- I come here for the fifth time, and I see that nothing has changed!
– What needs to change? he asks.
Tourist (pointing to the Eiffel Tower):
- In the end, did they find oil here, or not?
One secular lady asked Heine:
What do you need to do to learn to speak French?
- It's not difficult, - he answered, - just instead of German words, you need to use French.
In a history lesson at a French school:
Who was the father of Louis XVI?
— Louis XV.
- Fine. What about Charles VII?
— Charles the Sixth.
What about Francis the First? Well, what are you silent?
“Francis… Zero!”
In history class, the teacher said:
Today we will repeat the old material. Natasha, ask Semyonov a question.
Natasha thought about it and asked:
What year was the War of 1812 in?
And everyone laughed.
Parents had no time, and grandfather went to the parent meeting. He came in a bad mood and immediately began to scold his grandson:
- Disgrace! It turns out that you have solid deuces in history! For example, I always had fives in this subject!
“Of course,” the grandson replied, “at the time when you were studying, the story was much shorter!
Baba Yaga asks Koshchei the Deathless:
- How did you relax on New Year's holidays?
- He shot himself a couple of times, drowned himself three times, hanged himself once - in general, he had fun!
Winnie the Pooh congratulated the donkey on his birthday, and then says:
— Eeyore, you must be many years old?
- Why do you say that?
"Judging by your ears, you've been tugged at them a lot!"
The client enters the photo studio and asks the receptionist:
- I wonder why everyone is laughing in your photos?
— And you should have seen our photographer!
- What are you complaining about? the doctor asks the patient.
“You know, by the end of the day I just fall from fatigue.
— What do you do in the evenings?
- I play the violin.
- I recommend that music lessons be stopped immediately!
When the patient left, the nurse asked the doctor in surprise:
- Ivan Petrovich, what does music lessons have to do with it?
- Absolutely nothing. It's just that this woman lives on the floor above me, and we have disgusting soundproofing!
- Yesterday I pulled out a pike weighing twenty kilograms from the hole!
- Can't be!
- That's it, I thought that no one would believe me, so I released it back ...
The summer resident addresses the owner of the dacha:
Could you lower the room rate a little?
- Yes, what are you? With such a beautiful view of the birch grove!
“And if I promise you that I won’t look out the window?”
The millionaire shows his villa to the guest and says:
- And here I am going to build three pools: one with cold water, the second with warm water, and the third without water at all.
- Without water? the guest is surprised. - For what?
The thing is, some of my friends can't swim...
At an art exhibition, one visitor asks another:
Do you think this picture depicts a sunrise or a sunset?
Of course, sunset.
- Why do you think so?
— I know this artist. He doesn't wake up before noon.
Buyer: I would like to buy some book.
Seller: - Do you want something light?
Buyer: It doesn't matter, I'm in a car!
An unknown young man set a world record in the 100 meters. The journalist is interviewing him:
— How did you do it? Have you trained a lot in any sports club?
- No, in the shooting range. I work there to change targets...
- I recently ran two kilometers in one minute at a school competition!
- You're lying! That's better than the world record!
Yes, but I know a shortcut!
How I sat under the desk
Only the teacher turned away to the blackboard, and I once - and under the desk. When the teacher notices that I have disappeared, he will be terribly surprised, probably.
I wonder what he'll think? He will ask everyone where I have gone - that will be laughter! Half a lesson has already passed, and I'm still sitting. "When, - I think, - will he see that I'm not in the class?" And it's hard to sit under the desk. My back even hurt. Try to sit like this! I coughed - no attention. I can't sit anymore. Moreover, Seryozhka pokes me in the back with his foot all the time. I couldn't stand it. Didn't make it to the end of the lesson. I get out and say:
Excuse me, Pyotr Petrovich.
The teacher asks:
What's the matter? Do you want to board?
No, excuse me, I was sitting under the desk ...
Well, how is it comfortable to sit there, under the desk? You were very quiet today. That's the way it's always been in class.
In the closet
Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.
I sat in the closet, waited for the start of the lesson and did not notice myself how I fell asleep. I wake up - the class is quiet. I look through the crack - no one is there. He pushed the door, and it was closed. So I slept through the whole lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.
Stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I was scared, I started screaming:
Eee! I'm in the closet! Help! Listened - silence all around.
ABOUT! Comrades! I'm in the closet! I hear someone's steps.
Someone is coming.
Who is yelling here?
I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaner. I rejoiced, I shout:
Aunt Nyusha, I'm here!
Where are you, dear?
I'm in the closet! In the closet!
How are you. honey, did you get there?
I'm in the closet, grandma!
So I hear that you're in the closet. So what do you want? I was locked in a closet. Oh, grandma! Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She must have gone for the key.
Pal Palych tapped on the cabinet with his finger.
There is no one there, - said Pal Palych. How not? Yes, - said Aunt Nyusha.
Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked again on the cabinet.
I was afraid that everyone would leave, I would stay in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:
I'm here!
Who are you? asked Pal Palych.
I... Tsypkin...
Why did you climb up there, Tsypkin?
They locked me up... I didn't get in...
Um... He's locked up! But he didn't get in! Did you see? What wizards in our school! They do not climb into the closet while they are locked in the closet! Miracles don't happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?
I hear...
How long have you been sitting there? asked Pal Palych.
Don't know…
Find the key, Pal Palych said. - Fast.
Aunt Nyusha went for the key, but Pal Palych remained. He sat down on a chair nearby and waited. I saw his face through the crack. He was very angry. He lit up and said:
Well! That's what prank leads to! Tell me honestly why are you in the closet?
I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, but I'm not there. As if I had never been there. They will ask me: "Were you in the closet?" I'll say, "I didn't." They will say to me: "Who was there?" I'll say, "I don't know."
But that only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow my mother will be called ... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept there all the lessons, and all that ... As if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs hurt, my back hurts. One pain! What was my answer?
I was silent.
Are you alive there? asked Pal Palych.
Alive…
Well, sit down, they will open soon ...
I am sitting…
So ... - said Pal Palych. - So you will answer me, why did you climb into this closet?
Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?
I wanted to disappear again.
The director asked:
Tsypkin, are you?
I sighed heavily. I just couldn't answer anymore.
Aunt Nyusha said:
The class leader took the key.
Break open the door, - said the director.
I felt the door being broken - the closet shook, I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I rested my hands on the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.
Well, come out, - said the director. And tell us what that means.
I didn't move. I was scared.
Why is he worth it? the director asked.
They took me out of the closet.
I was silent all the time.
I didn't know what to say.
I just wanted to meow. But how would I say this?
Secret
We have secrets from girls. We don't trust them with our secrets for anything in the world. They can spread any secret all over the world. Even the most state secrets they can blabbed. It's a good thing they don't trust them!
True, we do not have such important secrets, where do we get them from! So we made them ourselves. We had such a secret: we buried a couple of bullets in the sand and did not tell anyone about it. There was another secret: we collected nails. For example, I collected twenty-five different kinds of nails, but who knew about it? Nobody! I didn't spill the beans to anyone. You understand how difficult it was for us! So many secrets passed through our hands that I don't even remember how many there were. And none of the girls knew anything. They walked and looked askance at us, various grimaces, and thought only of this, in order to extract our secrets from us. Although they never asked us about anything, it doesn't mean anything! How clever, though!
And yesterday I walk around the yard with our secret, with our new wonderful secret, and suddenly I see Irka. I walked by a few times and she looked at me.
I still walked around the yard, and then went up to her and sighed softly. I sighed lightly on purpose so that she wouldn't think I sighed on purpose.
I sighed a couple more times, she just looked sideways again, and that was it. Then I stopped sighing, since there was no sense in it, and I said:
If you knew that I know, you would have failed right here on the spot.
She looked at me again and said:
Do not worry, - he answers, - I will not fail, no matter how you yourself fail.
And why should I, - I say, - fail, I have nothing to fail, since I know the secret.
Secret? - speaks. - What secret?
She looks at me and waits for me to start telling her about the secret.
And I say:
A secret is a secret, and it does not exist for everyone to blurt out this secret.
For some reason she got angry and said:
Then get out of here with your secrets!
Ha, - I say, - that's still not enough! Is this your yard?
It even made me laugh. Here's what we've come to!
We stood, stood, then I see - she looks askance again.
I pretended to leave. And I say:
OK. The secret will remain with me. And he chuckled so that she understood what it meant.
She didn't even turn her head to me and said:
You don't have any secrets. If you had any secret, you would have told it long ago, and since you don’t tell, it means that there is nothing like that.
What do you think she's saying? Some kind of nonsense? But to be honest, I'm a little confused. And it’s true, because they may not believe me that I have some kind of secret, since no one except me knows about it. Everything is mixed up in my head. But I pretended that nothing was mixed up with me there, and I say:
It's a shame you can't be trusted. And then I would tell you everything. But you can be a traitor...
And then I see, she again squints at me with one eye.
I speak:
The matter here is not simple, I hope you understand this very well, and I think it’s not worth being offended at any occasion, especially if it were not a secret, but some trifle, and if I knew you better ...
I spoke long and hard. For some reason, I had such a desire - to talk a lot and for a long time. When I finished, she was not around.
She was crying, leaning against the wall. Her shoulders were trembling. I heard sobs.
I immediately realized that she could not be a traitor for anything in the world. She is just the kind of person you can safely trust with everything. I understood it right away.
You see ... - I said, - if you ... give your word ... and swear ...
And I told her the whole secret.
The next day they beat me.
She pissed everyone off...
But the most important thing was not that Irka turned out to be a traitor, not that the secret was revealed, but that then we could not come up with a single new secret, no matter how hard we tried.
I didn't eat any mustard
I hid my bag under the stairs. And he himself turned around the corner, went out onto the avenue.
Spring. Sun. Birds are singing. Somehow reluctant to go to school. Anyone will get bored. That's what I'm tired of.
I look - the car is standing, the driver is looking at something in the engine. I ask him:
Broke?
The driver is silent.
Broke? - I ask.
He is silent.
I stood, I stood, I said:
What, the car broke down?
This time he heard.
Guessed, - he says, - it broke. Do you want to help? Well, let's do it together.
Yes, I... I can't...
If you don't know how, you don't have to. I'm on my own anyway.
There are two standing. They are talking. I come closer. I listen. One says:
How about a patent?
Another says:
Good with the patent.
"Who is this, - I think, - a patent? I have never heard of him." I thought they would say more about the patent. And they didn't say anything more about the patent. They began to talk about the plant. One noticed me and said to the other:
Look, the guy opened his mouth.
And he turns to me:
What do you want?
Nothing for me, - I answer, - I just like that ...
Don't you have anything to do?
That's good! Do you see the crooked house over there?
Go push him from that side so that he is even.
Like this?
And so. There's nothing for you to do. You push him. And they both laugh.
I wanted to answer something, but I couldn't think of it. On the way, he came up with it, returned to them.
It's not funny, I say, but you're laughing.
They don't seem to hear. Me again:
Not funny at all. What are you laughing at?
Then one says:
We don't laugh at all. Where do you see us laughing?
They weren't really laughing anymore. They used to laugh. So I'm a little late...
ABOUT! The broom stands against the wall. And there is no one around. Great broom, great!
The janitor suddenly comes out of the gate:
Don't touch the broom!
Why do I need a broom? I don't need a broom...
If you don't need it, then don't go near the broom. A broom for work, not to be approached.
Some evil janitor got caught! Brooms are even a pity. Eh, what would you like to do? It's too early to go home. The lessons are not over yet. Walking the streets is boring. The guys are nowhere to be seen.
Climb on scaffolding?! The house is being renovated right next door. I look down on the city. Suddenly I hear a voice:
Where are you going? Hey!
I look - there is no one. Wow! There is no one, but someone is screaming! He began to rise higher - again:
Well, get down!
I turn my head in all directions. Where are they screaming from? What's happened?
Get off! Hey! Get down, get down!
I nearly fell down the stairs.
Moved to the other side of the street. Upstairs, I look at the forests. I wonder who yelled it. I didn't see anyone up close. And from afar I saw everything - the workers on the scaffolding are plastering, painting ...
I got on the tram and drove to the ring. There's nowhere to go anyway. I'd rather ride. Tired of walking.
I made the second round on the tram. Came to the same place. One more round to go, right? It's not time to go home yet. Too early. I look out the car window. Everyone is in a hurry somewhere, in a hurry. Where is everyone rushing to? Unclear.
Suddenly the conductor says:
Pay boy again.
I don't have any more money. I only had thirty kopecks.
Then go, boy. Go on foot.
Oh, I have a long walk to go!
And you don't ride. Didn't you go to school?
How do you know?
I know everything. You can see.
What is visible?
It's obvious that you didn't go to school. Here's what's visible. The kids are happy from school. And you seem to have eaten mustard.
I didn't eat any mustard...
Go anyway. I don't drive truants for free.
And then he says:
Okay, ride. I won't allow it next time. So know.
But I still got off. Somehow uncomfortable. The place is completely unfamiliar. I have never been in this area. On one side there are houses. On the other side there are no houses; five excavators are digging the ground. How elephants walk on the ground. They scoop up the earth with buckets and pour it to the side. Here is the technique! It's good to sit in a booth. Much better than going to school. You sit to yourself, and he walks and digs the earth.
One excavator stopped. The excavator climbs down to the ground and tells me:
Do you want to get into the bucket?
I was offended:
Why do I need a bucket? I want to go to the cab.
And then I remembered about the mustard that the conductor told me, and began to smile. So that the excavator thinks that I am cheerful. And I'm not bored at all. Lest op guess I wasn't at school.
He looked at me in surprise.
Look at you, brother, some foolish.
I began to smile even more. Mouth almost stretched to the ears.
What happened to you?
What are you making faces for me?
Give me a ride on the excavator.
This is not a trolleybus for you. This is a working machine. People work on it. Clear?
I speak:
I also want to work on it.
He says:
Hey brother! Need to learn!
I thought it was about school. And he began to smile again.
And he waved his hand at me and climbed into the cockpit. He didn't want to talk to me anymore.
Spring. Sun. Sparrows bathe in puddles. I go and think to myself. What's the matter? Why is it so boring to me?
Traveler
I firmly decided to go to Antarctica. To temper your character. Everyone says that I am spineless - my mother, the teacher, even Vovka. It's always winter in Antarctica. And there is no summer at all. Only the bravest go there. So Vovkin's dad said. Vovkin's dad was there twice. He spoke to Vovka on the radio. He asked how Vovka lives, how he studies. I will also be on the radio. So mom doesn't have to worry.
In the morning I took all the books out of my bag, put sandwiches, a lemon, an alarm clock, a glass and a soccer ball in it. I'm sure I'll meet sea lions there - they like to twirl the ball on the nose. The ball didn't fit in the bag. I had to let the air out of him.
Our cat was walking on the table. I put it in my bag too. Barely everything fit.
Here I am on the platform. The locomotive whistles. How many people are traveling! You can take any train you want. In the end, you can always change seats.
I climbed into the car, sat down, where it was more free.
An old woman was sleeping opposite me. Then a soldier sat down with me. He said: "Hi neighbors!" - and woke up the old woman.
The old woman woke up and asked:
We go? - and fell asleep again.
The train started moving. I went to the window. Here is our house, our white curtains, our linen hanging in the yard ... Our house is no longer visible. I got a little scared at first. But this is just the beginning. And when the train went very fast, somehow I even became amused! After all, I'm going to temper my character!
I'm tired of looking out the window. I sat down again.
What is your name? - asked the military man.
Sasha, - I said almost inaudibly.
What about grandma sleeping?
And who knows!
Where are you heading? -
Far…
Visiting?
For how long?
He talked to me like an adult, and for that I really liked him.
For a couple of weeks, I said seriously.
Well, not bad, - said the military man, - very good.
I asked:
Are you in Antarctica?
Not yet; do you want to go to Antarctica?
How do you know?
Everyone wants to go to Antarctica.
I want too.
You see now!
You see ... I decided to temper myself ...
I understand, - said the military man, - sports, skating ...
Not really…
Now I understand - around five!
No ... - I said, - Antarctica ...
Antarctica? - asked the soldier.
Someone invited a military man to play checkers. And he went to another compartment.
The old lady woke up.
Don't dangle your legs, said the old woman.
I went to see how they play checkers.
Suddenly ... I even opened my eyes - Murka was walking towards me. And I forgot about her! How did she get out of the bag?
She ran back and I followed her. She climbed under someone's shelf - I, too, immediately climbed under the shelf.
Murka! I shouted. - Murka!
What's that noise? shouted the conductor. - Why is the cat here?
This cat is mine.
Who is this boy with?
Me with the cat...
With what cat?
He is traveling with his grandmother, - said the military man, - she is nearby, in the compartment.
The conductor took me straight to the old woman.
Is this boy with you?
He is with the commander, - said the old woman.
Antarctica ... - the military man remembered, - everything is clear ... Do you understand what is the matter here? This boy decided to go to Antarctica. And so he took a cat with him ... And what else did you take with you, boy?
Lemon, - I said, - and more sandwiches ...
And went to educate his character?
What a bad boy! - said the old woman.
Ugliness! - confirmed the conductor.
Then for some reason everyone started laughing. Even Grandma started laughing. She even had tears in her eyes. I did not know that everyone was laughing at me, and slowly laughed too.
Take the cat, the guide said. - You arrived. Here it is, your Antarctica!
The train stopped.
"Really," I think, "Antarctica? So soon?"
We got off the train onto the platform. I was put on an oncoming train and taken home.
Mikhail Zoshchenko, Lev Kassil and others - Enchanted letter
Once Alyosha had a deuce. By singing. And so there were no more deuces. There were triplets. Almost all three were. One four was once a very long time ago.
And there were no fives at all. A person has not had a single five in his life! Well, it wasn’t like that, it wasn’t, well, what can you do! Happens. Alyosha lived without fives. Ros. Moved from class to class. I got my positive triples. He showed everyone the four and said:
Here, it was a long time ago.
And suddenly - five. And most importantly, why? For singing. He got this five quite by accident. He successfully sang something like that, and he was given a five. And even verbally praised. They said: "Well done, Alyosha!" In short, it was a very pleasant event, which was overshadowed by one circumstance: he could not show this five to anyone, since it was entered in the journal, and the journal, of course, is usually not given to students. He forgot his diary at home. If so, then Alyosha does not have the opportunity to show everyone his five. And so all joy was darkened. And he, of course, wanted to show everyone, especially since this phenomenon in his life, as you understand, is rare. He may simply not be believed without factual data. If the five would be in a notebook, for example, for a problem solved at home or for a dictation, then it’s easier than ever. That is, go with this notebook and show it to everyone. Until the sheets start popping out.
In arithmetic class, he came up with a plan: steal a magazine! He steals the magazine and brings it back in the morning. During this time, he can bypass all acquaintances and strangers with this magazine. In short, he seized the moment and stole the magazine at recess. He slipped the magazine into his bag and sits as if nothing had happened. Only his heart is beating frantically, which is quite natural, since he committed theft. When the teacher returned, he was so surprised that the magazine was not in place that he didn’t even say anything, but suddenly became somehow thoughtful. It seemed that he doubted whether there was a magazine on the table or not, whether it came with or without a magazine. He never asked about the magazine: the idea that one of the students had stolen it did not even cross his mind. There was no such case in his pedagogical practice. II he, without waiting for the call, quietly left, and it was evident that he was greatly upset by his forgetfulness.
And Alyosha grabbed his bag and rushed home. On the tram, he took a magazine out of his bag, found his five there and looked at it for a long time. And when he was already walking down the street, he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten the magazine in the tram. When he remembered this, he almost collapsed from fear. He even said "oops!" Or something like that. The first thought that came to his mind was to run after the tram. But he quickly realized (he was still quick-witted!), that there was no point in running after the tram, since he had already left. Then many other thoughts came to his mind. But these were all such insignificant thoughts that it is not worth talking about them.
He even had such an idea: to take a train and go to the North. And go to work somewhere. Why exactly to the North, he did not know, but he was going there. I mean, he didn't even want to. He thought about it for a moment, and then remembered his mother, grandmother, his father and abandoned this idea. Then he thought if he should go to the Lost Property Bureau, it is quite possible that the magazine is there. But here comes the suspicion. He will certainly be detained and prosecuted. And he did not want to be held accountable, despite the fact that he deserved it.
He came home and even lost weight in one evening. And all night he could not sleep, and by morning, probably, he had lost even more weight.
First, his conscience tormented him. The entire class was left without a magazine. All friends' marks are gone. His excitement is understandable.
And secondly, five. One in a lifetime - and she was gone. No, I understand it. True, I do not quite understand his desperate act, but his feelings are completely understandable to me.
So he came to school in the morning. Worried. Nervous. Lump in throat. Doesn't look into the eyes.
The teacher comes. Speaks:
Guys! The magazine is gone. Some sort of opportu- nity. And where could he go?
Alyosha is silent.
The teacher says:
I kind of remember coming to class with a magazine. Even saw it on the table. But at the same time, I doubt it. I couldn't lose it on the way, although I remember very well how I picked it up in the teacher's room and carried it along the corridor.
Some guys say:
No, we remember that the magazine was on the table. We saw.
The teacher says:
In that case, where does he go?
Here Alyosha could not stand it. He could no longer sit and be silent. He got up and says:
The magazine is probably in the chamber of lost things ...
The teacher was surprised and said:
Where? Where?
And the class laughed.
Then Alyosha, very excited, says:
No, I’m telling you the truth, he’s probably in the chamber of lost things… he couldn’t be lost…
In what chamber? - says the teacher.
Lost things, - says Alyosha.
I don't understand anything, says the teacher.
Then Alyosha suddenly for some reason was afraid that he would get a big blow for this case if he confessed, and he said:
I just wanted to advise...
The teacher looked at him and said sadly:
Don't talk nonsense, do you hear?
At this time, the door opens, and a woman enters the classroom and holds something wrapped in a newspaper in her hand.
I'm a conductor, she says, I'm sorry. I have a free day today, and so I found your school and class, in which case, take your magazine.
There was an uproar in the classroom, and the teacher said:
How so? Here is the number! How did our class magazine end up with the conductor? No, it can't be! Maybe this is not our magazine?
The conductor smiles slyly and says:
No, this is your journal.
Then the teacher grabs a magazine from the conductor and quickly flips through it.
Yes! Yes! Yes! - he shouts, - This is our magazine! I remember carrying him down the hallway...
Conductor says:
And then they forgot on the tram?
The teacher looks at her with wide eyes. And she, smiling broadly, says:
Well, of course. You forgot it on the tram.
Then the teacher grabs his head:
God! Something is happening to me. How could I forget the magazine on the tram? It's simply unthinkable! Although I remember carrying it down the hallway... Maybe I should leave school? I feel it's getting harder and harder for me to teach...
The conductor says goodbye to the class, and the whole class shouts "thank you" to her, and she leaves with a smile.
In parting, she says to the teacher:
Next time be more careful.
The teacher is sitting at the table with his head in his hands, in a very gloomy mood. Then he, resting his hands on his cheeks, sits and looks at one point.
I stole a magazine.
But the teacher is silent.
Then Alyosha says again:
I stole the magazine. Understand.
The teacher lazily says:
Yes... yes... I understand you... your noble act... but there is no need to do this... You want to help me... I know... take the blame... but why do it, my dear...
Alyosha almost crying says:
No, I'm telling you the truth...
The teacher says:
You see, he still insists... what a stubborn boy... no, this is an amazingly noble boy... I appreciate it, dear, but... since... things like this happen to me... I need to think about leaving... to leave teaching for a while...
Alyosha says through tears:
I... to you... tell the truth...
The teacher abruptly rises from his seat, slams his fist on the table and shouts hoarsely:
No need!
After that, he wipes his tears with a handkerchief and quickly leaves.
And what about Alyosha?
He remains in tears. He tries to explain to the class, but no one believes him.
He feels a hundred times worse, as if he had been severely punished. He cannot eat or sleep.
He goes to the teacher's house. And he explains everything. And he convinces the teacher. The teacher strokes his head and says:
This means that you are not yet a completely lost person and you have a conscience.
And the teacher escorts Alyosha to the corner and lectures him.
...................................................
Copyright: Victor Golyavkin
Interesting, surprising and funny stories for elementary and middle school students. Interesting stories from school life
As I sat under the desk. Author: Victor Golyavkin
As soon as the teacher turned to the blackboard, and I once - and under the desk. When the teacher notices that I have disappeared, he will be terribly surprised, probably.
I wonder what he'll think? He will start asking everyone where I have gone - that will be laughter! Half a lesson has already passed, and I'm still sitting. “When,” I think, “will he see that I am not in the class?” And it's hard to sit under the desk. My back even hurt. Try to sit like this! I coughed - no attention. I can't sit anymore. Moreover, Seryozhka pokes me in the back with his foot all the time. I couldn't stand it. Didn't make it to the end of the lesson. I get out and say:
— Excuse me, Pyotr Petrovich...
The teacher asks:
- What's the matter? Do you want to board?
- No, excuse me, I was sitting under the desk ...
- Well, how is it comfortable to sit there, under the desk? You were very quiet today. That's the way it's always been in class.
Who is surprised. Author: Victor Golyavkin
Tanya is not surprised by anything. She always says: "That's not surprising!" Even if it's surprising. Yesterday, in front of everyone, I jumped over such a puddle ... No one could jump over, but I jumped over! Everyone was surprised, except Tanya.
“Think! So what? It's not surprising!"
I tried my best to surprise her. But he couldn't be surprised. No matter how much I tried.
I hit a sparrow from a slingshot.
He learned to walk on his hands, to whistle with one finger in his mouth.
She saw it all. But she wasn't surprised.
I tried my best. What I didn't do! He climbed trees, walked without a hat in winter ...
She wasn't surprised at all.
And one day I just went out into the yard with a book. Sat down on a bench. And began to read.
I didn't even see Tanya. And she says:
- Marvelous! That would not have thought! He reads!
Carousel in the head. Author: Victor Golyavkin
By the end of the school year, I asked my father to buy me a two-wheeled bicycle, a battery-powered submachine gun, a battery-powered airplane, a flying helicopter, and table hockey.
“I really want to have these things!” - I said to my father. - They are constantly spinning in my head like a carousel, and this makes my head spin so much that it is difficult to keep on my feet.
“Hold on,” said the father, “don’t fall and write all these things on a piece of paper for me so that I don’t forget.”
“But why write, they are already firmly in my head.
“Write,” said the father, “it doesn’t cost you anything.”
“In general, it’s worth nothing,” I said, “only an extra hassle.” And I wrote in large letters on the whole sheet:
WILISAPET
GUN-GUN
VIRTALET
Then I thought about it and decided to write “ice cream” again, went to the window, looked at the sign opposite and added:
ICE CREAM
Father read and says:
- I'll buy you ice cream for now, and wait for the rest.
I thought he had no time now, and I ask:
— Until what time?
- Until better times.
- Until what?
Until next year ends.
- Why?
- Yes, because the letters in your head are spinning like a carousel, this makes you dizzy, and the words are not on their feet.
It's like words have legs!
And I've already bought ice cream a hundred times.
Interesting stories by Viktor Golyavkin for younger students. Stories to read in elementary school. Extracurricular reading in grades 1-4.
Viktor Golyavkin. NOTEBOOKS IN THE RAIN
At recess, Marik says to me:
Let's get out of class. Look how good it is outside!
- What if Aunt Dasha delays with briefcases?
- You need to throw your briefcases out the window.
We looked out the window: near the wall it was dry, and a little further away there was a huge puddle. Don't throw your portfolios into the puddle! We removed the straps from our trousers, tied them together, and carefully lowered our briefcases over them. At this time, the bell rang. The teacher entered. I had to sit down. The lesson has begun. Rain poured outside the window. Marik writes me a note:
Our notebooks are gone
I answer him:
Our notebooks are gone
He writes to me:
What we are going to do?
I answer him:
What we are going to do?
Suddenly they call me to the blackboard.
“I can’t,” I say, “I can go to the blackboard.
"How," I think, "to go without a belt?"
“Go, go, I will help you,” the teacher says.
- You don't need to help me.
“Did you get sick by any chance?”
“I got sick,” I say.
- How about homework?
- Good with homework.
The teacher comes up to me.
- Well, show me your notebook.
- What's going on with you?
You'll have to put in a two.
He opens the magazine and gives me a F, and I think about my notebook, which is now getting wet in the rain.
The teacher gave me a deuce and calmly says this:
"You're kind of weird today...
Viktor Golyavkin. THINGS ARE NOT GOING MY WAY
One day I come home from school. On this day, I just got a deuce. I walk around the room and sing. I sing and sing so that no one would think that I got a deuce. And then they will ask again: “Why are you gloomy, why are you thoughtful? »
Father says:
What is he singing like that?
And mom says:
- He must be in a cheerful mood, so he sings.
Father says:
- Probably got an A, that's fun for a man. It's always fun when you do something good.
When I heard this, I sang even louder.
Then the father says:
- Well, Vovka, please your father, show the diary.
At this point, I immediately stopped singing.
- For what? I ask.
“I see,” says the father, “you really want to show the diary.
He takes my diary, sees a deuce there and says:
- Surprisingly, he got a deuce and sings! What, is he crazy? Come on, Vova, come here! Do you happen to have a temperature?
“I don’t have,” I say, “no temperature.”
Father spread his hands and says:
“Then you should be punished for this singing…”
That's how bad luck I am!
Viktor Golyavkin. WHAT'S INTERESTING
When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters: O - a circle and T - a hammer. And that's it. I didn't know any other letters. And he couldn't read.
Grandmother tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick:
“Now, now, granny, I’ll wash the dishes for you.”
And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about her studies and even bought him gifts for helping with the household. And Gogin's parents were on a long business trip and hoped for a grandmother. And of course, they did not know that their son had not yet learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went for bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And read aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with his eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, “if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try.
And in class, he dodged as best he could.
The teacher tells him:
- Read it right here.
He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him. The teacher stopped him. To the laughter of the class, he said:
- If you want, I'd better close the window so that it doesn't blow.
“I’m so dizzy that I’m probably going to fall now ...
He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor. The doctor asked:
- How is your health?
"Bad," said Goga.
- What hurts?
“Well then, go to class.
- Why?
Because you don't have any pain.
— How do you know?
- How do you know that? the doctor laughed. And he lightly pushed Goga to the exit. Goga never pretended to be sick again, but he continued to evade.
And the efforts of classmates did not lead to anything. First, Masha, an excellent student, was attached to him.
"Let's study seriously," Masha told him.
- When? Goga asked.
- Yeah right now.
"I'll be right back," said Goga.
And he left and didn't come back.
Then Grisha, an excellent student, was attached to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk.
- Where are you going? Grisha asked.
“Come here,” Goga called.
“No one will interfere with us here.
- Yah you! - Grisha, of course, was offended and immediately left.
No one else was attached to him.
As time went. He dodged.
Gogin's parents arrived and found that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book that she brought to her child.
“Now every evening,” she said, “I will read this wonderful book aloud to my son.
Grandma said:
“Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening.
But the father said:
“You really shouldn’t have done it. Our Gogochka has grown lazy to such an extent that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting.
And dad, along with grandma and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And even dangled his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet.
But he didn't know what the meeting was! What did they decide!
So Mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, dangling his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to continue. But when mom stopped at the most interesting place, he became worried again.
And when she handed him the book, he became even more excited.
He immediately suggested:
- Come on, Mom, I'll wash the dishes.
And he ran to wash the dishes.
He ran to his father.
The father strictly told him never to make such requests to him again.
He slipped the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it back to his grandmother. But she again dropped it from her hands. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is it really,” thought Goga, “is she sleeping, or was she instructed at the meeting to pretend? Goga pulled her, shook her, but grandmother did not even think of waking up.
In desperation, he sat down on the floor and looked at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was going on there.
He brought the book to class. But classmates refused to read to him. Even more than that: Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly crawled under the desk.
Goga stuck to a high school student, but he flicked his nose and laughed.
That's what a home meeting means!
That's what the public means!
He soon read the whole book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go out for bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes.
That's what's interesting!
Viktor Golyavkin. IN THE CLOSET
Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.
I sat in the closet, waited for the start of the lesson and did not notice myself how I fell asleep.
I wake up - the class is quiet. I look through the crack - no one is there. He pushed the door, and it was closed. So I slept through the whole lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.
Stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I was scared, I started screaming:
— Eee! I'm in the closet! Help!
Listened - silence all around.
- ABOUT! Comrades! I'm in the closet!
I hear someone's steps. Someone is coming.
- Who's yelling here?
I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaner.
I rejoiced, I shout:
- Aunt Nyusha, I'm here!
- Where are you, dear?
- I'm in the closet! In the closet!
“How did you get there, honey?”
- I'm in the closet, grandma!
“I can hear that you are in the closet. So what do you want?
- They locked me in a closet. Oh, grandma!
Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She must have gone for the key.
Pal Palych tapped on the cabinet with his finger.
“There is no one there,” said Pal Palych.
- How not. Yes, said Aunt Nyusha.
- Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked again on the cabinet.
I was afraid that everyone would leave, I would stay in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:
- I'm here!
- Who are you? Pal Palych asked.
— I... Tsypkin...
"Why did you get in there, Tsypkin?"
- They locked me up... I didn't get in...
— Hm... He was locked up! But he didn't get in! Did you see? What wizards in our school! They do not climb into the closet while they are locked in the closet. Miracles don't happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?
- I hear...
- How long have you been sitting there? Pal Palych asked.
- Don't know...
“Find the key,” said Pal Palych. - Fast.
Aunt Nyusha went for the key, but Pal Palych remained. He sat down on a chair nearby and waited. I saw through
slit his face. He was very angry. He lit up and said:
- Well! That's where the prank comes in. Tell me honestly: why are you in the closet?
I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, but I'm not there. As if I had never been there. They will ask me: “Were you in the closet?” I'll say, "I didn't." They will say to me: “Who was there?” I'll say, "I don't know."
But that only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow mom will be called ... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept there all the lessons, and all that ... as if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs hurt, my back hurts. One pain! What was my answer?
I was silent.
Are you alive there? Pal Palych asked.
- Alive...
- Well, sit down, they will open soon ...
- I am sitting...
"Yes..." said Pal Palych. “So you tell me why you climbed into this closet?”
- Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?
I wanted to disappear again.
The director asked:
Tsypkin, is that you?
I sighed heavily. I just couldn't answer anymore.
Aunt Nyusha said:
The class president took the key.
"Break down the door," the director said.
I felt the door being broken, the closet shook, I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I rested my hands on the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.
“Come on out,” the director said. And tell us what that means.
I didn't move. I was scared.
Why is he standing? the director asked.
They took me out of the closet.
I was silent all the time.
I didn't know what to say.
I just wanted to meow. But how would I put it...
