Do you know that literature is not only for education and moralizing? Literature - it happens for laughter. And laughter is the most favorite thing for children, after sweets, of course. We have compiled for you a selection of the most fun children's books that will be of interest to even the oldest children, grandparents. These books are perfect for family reading. Which, in turn, is ideal for family leisure. Read and laugh!
Narine Abgaryan - "Manyunya"
“Manya and I, despite the strict prohibition of our parents, often ran away to the junk dealer’s house and fiddled with his children. We imagined ourselves as teachers and drilled the unfortunate kids as best we could. Uncle Slavik's wife did not interfere in our games, on the contrary, she approved.
- All the same, there is no government for children, - she said, - so at least you calm them down.
Since admitting to Ba that we picked up lice from the children of a junk dealer was like death, we were silent in a rag.
When Ba finished with me, Manka squealed thinly:
“Aaaaah, am I really going to be that scary too?”
- Well, why scary? - Ba grabbed Manka and imperiously nailed him to a wooden bench. “You might think that all your beauty is in your hair,” and she cut off a large curl from Mankina’s crown.
I ran into the house to look at myself in the mirror. The spectacle that opened my eyes plunged me into horror - I was short and unevenly cut, and on the sides of my head with two perky leaves of burdock my ears stood up! I burst into bitter tears - never, never in my life have I had such ears!
— Narineeee?! Ba's voice reached me. - It's good to admire your typhoid physiognomy, run here, better admire Manya!
I trudged into the yard. Manyuni's tear-stained face appeared from behind the mighty back of Baba Rosa. I swallowed loudly - Manka looked incomparable, even more whippy than me: at least both tips of my ears stuck out equidistantly from the skull, with Manka they were at odds - one ear was neatly pressed to the head, and the other belligerently bristled to the side!
- Well, - Ba looked at us with satisfaction, - Gena and Cheburashka are pure crocodile!
Valery Medvedev - "Barankin, be a man!"
When everyone sat down and there was silence in the class, Zinka Fokina shouted:
- Oh, guys! It's just some misfortune! The new academic year has not yet begun, and Barankin and Malinin have already managed to get two deuces! ..
A terrible noise immediately arose in the classroom again, but individual cries, of course, could be made out.
- In such conditions, I refuse to be the editor-in-chief of the wall newspaper! (This was said by Era Kuzyakina.) - And they also promised that they would improve! (Mishka Yakovlev.) - Unfortunate drones! Last year they were nursed, and again all over again! (Alik Novikov.) - Call the parents! (Nina Semyonova.) - Only our class is dishonored! (Irka Pukhova.) - We decided to do everything “good” and “excellent”, and here you are! (Ella Sinitsyna.) - Shame on Barankin and Malinin!! (Ninka and Irka together.) - Yes, kick them out of our school, and that's it!!! (Erka Kuzyakina.) "Okay, Erka, I'll remember this phrase for you."
After these words, everyone yelled with one voice, so loudly that it was completely impossible for Kostya and me to make out who and what was thinking about us, although from individual words it was possible to catch that Kostya Malinin and I were blockheads, parasites, drones! Once again, fools, loafers, egoists! And so on! Etc!..
What annoyed me and Kostya most of all was that Venka Smirnov was yelling the loudest. Whose cow, as they say, would moo, but his would be silent. This Venka's performance last year was even worse than that of Kostya and me. Therefore, I could not stand it and also screamed.
- Redhead, - I shouted at Venka Smirnov, - why are you yelling the loudest of all? If you were the first to be called to the board, you would not get a deuce, but a unit! So shut up in a rag.
- Oh, you, Barankin, - Venka Smirnov yelled at me, - I'm not against you, I'm yelling for you! What am I trying to say, guys!.. I say: you can’t immediately call to the blackboard after the holidays. It is necessary that we first come to our senses after the holidays ...
Christine Nestlinger - "Down with the Cucumber King!"
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“I didn’t think: it can’t be! I didn’t even think: well, the jester - you can die from laughter! Nothing came to my mind at all. Well, nothing! Huber Yo, my friend, says in such cases: closure in the convolutions! Perhaps the best thing I remember is how my dad said “no” three times. The first time is very loud. The second is normal and the third is barely audible.
Dad likes to say: "If I said no, then no." But now his "no" did not make the slightest impression. Not-that-pumpkin-not-that-cucumber continued to sit on the table as if nothing had happened. He folded his hands on his stomach and repeated: "King Kumi-Ori of the Undergrounding family!"
Grandpa was the first to come to his senses. He approached the Kumior king and curtseying, he said: “I am extremely flattered by our acquaintance. My name is Hogelman. In this house I will be a grandfather.”
Kumi-Ori extended his right hand forward and thrust it under his grandfather's nose. The grandfather looked at the thread-gloved pen, but did not understand what Kumi-Ori wanted.
Mom suggested that his arm hurts and a compress is needed. Mom always thinks that someone definitely needs either a compress, or pills, or, at worst, mustard plasters. But Kumi-Ori did not need a compress at all, and his hand was completely healthy. He waved his thread fingers in front of his grandfather’s nose and said: “We have inoculated that we have a whole watt of porridge apricots!”
Grandfather said, for nothing in the world he would kiss the august hand, he would allow himself this, at best, in relation to a charming lady, and Kumi-Ori is no lady, all the more charming.
Grigory Oster - “Bad advice. A book for naughty children and their parents
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***
For example, in your pocket
Turned out to be a handful of sweets
And met you
Your true friends.
Don't be afraid and don't hide
Don't run away
Don't shove all the candy
Together with candy wrappers in the mouth.
Approach them calmly
Without saying too many words
Quickly taking it out of my pocket
Give them... a hand.
Shake their hands firmly
Say goodbye slowly
And turning around the first corner,
Rush home quickly.
To eat sweets at home,
Get under the bed
Because there, of course,
You won't meet anyone.
Astrid Lindgren - "The Adventures of Emil from Lenneberg"
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The broth was very tasty, everyone took the addition as much as they wanted, and in the end only a few carrots and onions remained at the bottom of the tureen. This is what Emil decided to enjoy. Without thinking twice, he reached for the tureen, pulled it towards him and stuck his head into it. Everyone could hear him sucking thick with a whistle. When Emil licked the bottom almost dry, he naturally wanted to pull his head out of the tureen. But it was not there! The tureen tightly clasped his forehead, temples and the back of his head and was not removed. Emil was frightened and jumped up from his chair. He stood in the middle of the kitchen with a tureen on his head, as if wearing a knight's helmet. And the tureen slipped lower and lower. First, his eyes disappeared under it, then his nose and even his chin. Emil tried to free himself, but nothing came of it. The tureen seemed to be rooted to his head. Then he began to shout a good obscenity. And after him, with a fright, and Lina. Yes, and everyone was scared.
- Our beautiful tureen! - all insisted Lina. What am I going to serve soup in now?
And indeed, since Emil's head is stuck in the tureen, you can't pour soup into it. Lina understood this immediately. But mother was worried not so much about the beautiful tureen, but about Emil's head.
- Dear Anton, - Mom turned to dad, - how can we get the boy out of there? Shall I break the tureen?
- This is still not enough! exclaimed Emil's father. “I paid four crowns for her!”
Irina and Leonid Tyukhtyaev - "Zoki and Bada: a guide for children on parenting"
It was evening and everyone was at home. Seeing that papa was sitting on the sofa with a newspaper, Margarita said:
- Dad, let's play animals, and Yanka wants to come out too. Dad sighed, and Yang shouted: - Chur, I'm thinking!
- Dove again? Margarita asked him sternly.
"Yes," Yang was surprised.
“Now I am,” said Margarita. “I guessed, guess.
- Elephant ... lizard ... fly ... giraffe ... - began Jan, - dad, and the cow has a cow?
- So you will never guess, - dad could not stand it and put down the newspaper, - it should be different. Does he have legs?
- Yes, - my daughter smiled enigmatically.
- One? Two? Four? Six? Eight? Margarita shook her head negatively.
- Nine? Jan asked.
- More.
- Centipede. No? - Dad was surprised. - Then I give up, but keep in mind: the crocodile has four legs.
- Yes? - Margarita was confused. - And I thought of it.
- Dad, - the son asked, - but if a boa constrictor sits on a tree and suddenly notices a penguin?
“Now dad is thinking,” his sister stopped him.
“Only real animals, not fictional ones,” the son warned.
- What are the real ones? Dad asked.
- A dog, for example, - said the daughter, - and wolves and bears are only in fairy tales.
- No! Yang shouted. “Yesterday I saw a wolf in the yard. Huge such, even two! Like this.” He held up his hands.
“Well, they were probably smaller,” dad smiled.
- But, you know how they barked!
“These are dogs,” Margarita laughed, “there are all kinds of dogs: a wolf dog, a bear dog, a fox dog, a sheep dog, even a kitty dog, such a small one.”
Mikhail Zoshchenko - "Lelya and Minka"
This year, guys, I turned forty years old. So, it turns out that I saw the Christmas tree forty times. It's a lot! Well, for the first three years of my life, I probably did not understand what a Christmas tree was. Probably, my mother endured me on her arms. And, probably, with my black little eyes I looked at the painted tree without interest.
And when I, children, hit five years old, I already perfectly understood what a Christmas tree is. And I was looking forward to this happy holiday. And even in the crack of the door I peeped how my mother decorates the Christmas tree.
And my sister Lele was seven years old at that time. And she was an exceptionally lively girl. She once told me: “Minka, my mother has gone to the kitchen. Let's go to the room where the tree stands and see what's going on there.
So my sister Lelya and I entered the room. And we see: a very beautiful Christmas tree. And under the tree are gifts. And on the Christmas tree there are multi-colored beads, flags, lanterns, golden nuts, pastilles and Crimean apples.
My sister Lelya says: - We will not look at the gifts. Instead, let's just eat one lozenge each.
And now she comes up to the Christmas tree and instantly eats one lozenge hanging on a thread.
I say: - Lelya, if you ate a pastille, then I will also eat something now.
And I go up to the tree and bite off a small piece of an apple.
Lelya says: “Minka, if you bit off an apple, then I’ll eat another lozenge now and, in addition, I’ll take this candy for myself.”
And Lelya was a very tall, long-knit girl. And she could reach high. She stood on tiptoe and began to eat the second lozenge with her big mouth.
And I was surprisingly short. And I could hardly get anything, except for one apple, which hung low.
I say: - If you, Lelisha, ate the second lozenge, then I will bite off this apple again.
And I again take this apple with my hands and bite it off a little again.
Lelya says: - If you have bitten off an apple for the second time, then I will no longer stand on ceremony and now I will eat the third lozenge and, in addition, I will take a cracker and a nut as a keepsake.
Then I almost cried. Because she could reach everything, but I can’t. ”
Paul Maar - "Seven Saturdays in a Week"
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On Saturday morning Mr. Peppermint sat in his room and waited. What was he waiting for? He certainly could not have said this himself.
Why then did he wait? Now this is easier to explain. True, we will have to start the story from Monday itself.
And on Monday there was a sudden knock on the door of Mr. Peppermint's room. Sticking her head through the crack, Mrs. Bruckmann announced:
- Mister Pepperfint, you have a guest! Just make sure that he does not smoke in the room: this will ruin the curtains! Let him not sit on the bed! Why did I give you a chair, what do you think?
Mrs. Bruckman was the mistress of the house where Mr. Peppermint rented a room. When she was angry, she always called him "Pepperfint". And now the hostess was angry because a guest had come to him.
The visitor pushed through the door that same Monday by the landlady turned out to be Mr. Peppermint's school friend. His last name was Pone delcus. As a gift to his friend, he brought a whole bag of delicious donuts.
It was Tuesday after Monday, and on that day the master's nephew came to Mr. Peppermint to ask how to solve a problem in mathematics. The owner's nephew was lazy and repeating. Mr. Peppermint was not at all surprised by his visit.
Wednesday, as always, came in the middle of the week. And this, of course, did not surprise Mr. Peppermint.
On Thursday, a new film was suddenly shown in a nearby cinema: "Four Against the Cardinal." This is where Mr. Peppermint got a little wary.
Friday came. On this day, the reputation of the company where Mr. Peppermint served was stained: the office was closed all day, and customers were indignant.
Eno Raud - "Muff, Half Shoes and Moss Beard"
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One day, three naxitralls met by chance at an ice cream stand: Mossbeard, Halfboot, and Muff. They were all so small that the ice-cream lady mistook them for gnomes at first. Each of them had other interesting features. Moss Beard has a beard of soft moss, in which, although last year's, but still beautiful lingonberries grew. The half-boot was shod in boots with cut off toes: it was more convenient to move the toes this way. And Mufta, instead of ordinary clothes, wore a thick muff, from which only the crown and heels protruded.
They ate ice cream and looked at each other with great curiosity.
"Excuse me," Muft said at last. - Perhaps, of course, I'm wrong, but it seems to me that we have something in common.
“So it seemed to me,” Polbootka nodded.
Mossbeard plucked a few berries from his beard and handed them to his new acquaintances.
- Sour ice cream is good.
- I'm afraid to seem intrusive, but it would be nice to get together some other time, - said Mufta. - We would cook cocoa, talk about this and that.
“That would be wonderful,” Polbootka rejoiced. - I would gladly invite you to my place, but I have no home. Since childhood, I have traveled the world.
"Just like me," said Mossbeard.
- Wow, what a coincidence! Muft exclaimed. - Exactly the same story with me. So we are all travelers.
He tossed the ice cream slip into the dustbin and zipped up the muff. His clutch had such a property: to fasten and unfasten with the help of a "lightning". Meanwhile, the others finished their ice cream.
- Do not you think that we could unite? - said Polbotinka.
- Traveling together is much more fun.
“Of course,” Mossbeard agreed happily.
“Brilliant thought,” Mufta beamed. - Simply magnificent!
"So it's settled," said Polbootka. “Why don’t we have another ice cream each before we unite?”
The importance of books in human life cannot be overestimated. If you want your child to be versatile and successful in life, instill in him a love of literature from an early age. Of course, in preschool and primary school age, you need to choose light, fun works. If you like to read, then you probably remember the funny stories for children from the collection "Deniska's Stories" by V. Dragunsky. What other authors of funny stories for children deserve the attention of young readers? The answers are in our article today.
As we have already said, the first place among funny stories for children is occupied by the book of V. Dragunsky. His cute and funny stories will appeal to both preschool children and young "visitors" of elementary school. The protagonist Deniska Korablev finds himself in funny and sometimes ridiculous situations every day that will surely make little readers smile. "The Elephant and the Radio", "Knights", "Chicken Soup", "The Battle of the Clean River", "Exactly 25 kilos", "The Dog Thief" and other stories will be interesting, and most importantly, understandable to children from 5 years old. Download a book.
The collection consists of two children's humorous stories, based on which the famous films of the same name were shot. The plot will especially attract primary school students. The main characters of the first part are two mischievous people who have to spend the whole summer vacation visiting strict aunts. Naturally, they do not expect anything fun from this plan, but they are in for big surprises... The stories described in the book will definitely appeal to your children, especially boys who dream of the most memorable adventure of their childhood!
Mikhail Zoshchenko is a famous writer and one of the best authors of funny stories for children. His collection is rightly recognized as a classic of children's literature. In his stories, he notices funny moments in such a fascinating and simple language that among the admirers of his work there are even children of 6 years old! Through light and truthful images, he teaches children to be kind, honest, courageous, strive for knowledge and act nobly. In a special honor among children, stories about the heroes Lela and Minka.
We also recommend adding to the children's list of literature “Humorous stories for children” by A. Averchenko, the famous “Bad advice” by G. Oster, “The thief of intercoms” by E. Rakitina, “Do not lie” by M. Zoshchenko, “Carousel in the head” by V. Golovkin, “Smart dog Sonya. Stories" by A. Usacheva, "Zateykina Stories" by N. Nosov and all works by E. Uspensky.
Notebooks in the rain
At recess, Marik says to me:
Let's get out of class. Look how good it is outside!
What if Aunt Dasha delays with briefcases?
Throw your briefcases out the window.
We looked out the window: near the wall it was dry, and a little further away there was a huge puddle. Don't throw your portfolios into the puddle! We removed the straps from our trousers, tied them together, and carefully lowered our briefcases over them. At this time, the bell rang. The teacher entered. I had to sit down. The lesson has begun. Rain poured outside the window. Marik writes me a note: "Our notebooks are gone"
I answer him: "Our notebooks are gone"
He writes to me: "What shall we do?"
I answer him: "What are we going to do?"
Suddenly they call me to the blackboard.
I can’t, I say, I can go to the blackboard.
“How, - I think, - to go without a belt?”
Go, go, I will help you, - says the teacher.
You don't need to help me.
Did you happen to get sick?
I'm sick, I say.
How about homework?
Good with homework.
The teacher comes up to me.
Well, show me your notebook.
What's going on with you?
You'll have to put in a two.
He opens the magazine and gives me a F, and I think about my notebook, which is now getting wet in the rain.
The teacher gave me a deuce and calmly says this:
You are strange today...
How I sat under the desk
Only the teacher turned away to the blackboard, and I once - and under the desk. When the teacher notices that I have disappeared, he will be terribly surprised, probably.
I wonder what he'll think? He will ask everyone where I have gone - that will be laughter! Half a lesson has already passed, and I'm still sitting. “When, I think, will he see that I am not in the class?” And it's hard to sit under the desk. My back even hurt. Try to sit like this! I coughed - no attention. I can't sit anymore. Moreover, Seryozhka pokes me in the back with his foot all the time. I couldn't stand it. Didn't make it to the end of the lesson. I get out and say:
Excuse me, Pyotr Petrovich...
The teacher asks:
What's the matter? Do you want to board?
No, excuse me, I was sitting under the desk...
Well, how comfortable to sit there, under the desk? You were very quiet today. That's the way it's always been in class.
When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters: O - a circle and T - a hammer. And that's it. I didn't know any other letters. And he couldn't read.
Grandmother tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick:
Now, now, granny, I'll wash the dishes for you.
And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about her studies and even bought him gifts for helping with the household. And Gogin's parents were on a long business trip and hoped for a grandmother. And of course, they did not know that their son had not yet learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went for bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And read aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with his eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, “if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try.
And in class, he dodged as best he could.
The teacher tells him:
Read it right here.
He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him. The teacher stopped him. To the laughter of the class, he said:
If you want, I'd better close the window so that it doesn't blow.
I'm so dizzy that I'm probably about to fall...
He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor. The doctor asked:
How is your health?
Bad, - said Goga.
What hurts?
Well then go to class.
Because nothing hurts you.
How do you know?
How do you know that? the doctor laughed. And he lightly pushed Goga to the exit. Goga never pretended to be sick again, but he continued to evade.
And the efforts of classmates did not lead to anything. First, Masha, an excellent student, was attached to him.
Let's study seriously, - Masha told him.
When? Goga asked.
Yeah right now.
Now I will come, - said Goga.
And he left and didn't come back.
Then Grisha, an excellent student, was attached to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk.
Where are you going? - asked Grisha.
Come here, - called Goga.
And here no one will interfere with us.
Yah you! - Grisha, of course, was offended and immediately left.
No one else was attached to him.
As time went. He dodged.
Gogin's parents arrived and found that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book that she brought to her child.
Now every evening, - she said, - I will read aloud this wonderful book to my son.
Grandma said:
Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening.
But the father said:
You really shouldn't have done it. Our Gogochka has grown lazy to such an extent that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting.
And dad, along with grandma and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And even dangled his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet.
But he didn't know what the meeting was! What did they decide!
So Mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, dangling his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to continue. But when mom stopped at the most interesting place, he became worried again.
And when she handed him the book, he became even more excited.
He immediately suggested:
Come on, Mommy, I'll wash the dishes.
And he ran to wash the dishes.
He ran to his father.
The father strictly told him never to make such requests to him again.
He slipped the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it back to his grandmother. But she again dropped it from her hands. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is it really,” thought Goga, “is she sleeping, or was she instructed at the meeting to pretend? Goga pulled her, shook her, but grandmother did not even think of waking up.
In desperation, he sat down on the floor and looked at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was going on there.
He brought the book to class. But classmates refused to read to him. Even more than that: Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly climbed under the desk.
Goga stuck to a high school student, but he flicked his nose and laughed.
That's what a home meeting means!
That's what the public means!
He soon read the whole book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go out for bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes.
That's what's interesting!
Who is surprised
Tanya is not surprised by anything. She always says: "That's not surprising!" Even if it's surprising. Yesterday, in front of everyone, I jumped over such a puddle ... No one could jump over, but I jumped over! Everyone was surprised, except Tanya.
“Think! So what? It's not surprising!"
I tried my best to surprise her. But he couldn't be surprised. No matter how much I tried.
I hit a sparrow from a slingshot.
He learned to walk on his hands, to whistle with one finger in his mouth.
She saw it all. But she wasn't surprised.
I tried my best. What I didn't do! He climbed trees, walked without a hat in winter ...
She wasn't surprised at all.
And one day I just went out into the yard with a book. Sat down on a bench. And began to read.
I didn't even see Tanya. And she says:
Marvelous! That would not have thought! He reads!
Prize
We made the original costumes - no one else will have them! I will be a horse, and Vovka a knight. The only bad thing is that he should ride me and not me on him. And all because I'm a little younger. True, we agreed with him: he will not ride me all the time. He rides me a little, and then he gets down and leads behind him, like horses are led by the bridle. And so we went to the carnival. They came to the club in ordinary costumes, and then changed and went out into the hall. I mean, we moved in. I crawled on all fours. And Vovka was sitting on my back. True, Vovka helped me - he touched the floor with his feet. But it still wasn't easy for me.
And I haven't seen anything yet. I was wearing a horse mask. I couldn't see anything at all, even though there were holes in the mask for the eyes. But they were somewhere on the forehead. I crawled in the dark.
Bumped into someone's legs. He ran into a convoy twice. Sometimes I shook my head, then the mask moved out, and I saw the light. But for a moment. And then it's dark again. I couldn't keep shaking my head!
I saw the light for a moment. And Vovka didn’t see anything at all. And all the time he asked me what was ahead. And asked to crawl more carefully. And so I crawled carefully. I didn't see anything myself. How could I know what was ahead! Someone stepped on my arm. I stopped right now. And he refused to move on. I told Vovka:
Enough. Get off.
Vovka probably liked the ride, and he didn't want to get off. He said it's still early. But still he got down, took me by the bridle, and I crawled on. Now it was easier for me to crawl, although I still could not see anything.
I offered to take off the masks and look at the carnival, and then put on the masks again. But Vovka said:
Then we will be recognized.
It's probably fun here, - I said. - Only we don't see anything ...
But Vovka walked in silence. He was determined to endure to the end. Get first prize.
My knees hurt. I said:
I will now sit on the floor.
Can horses sit? - said Vovka. - You're crazy! You are a horse!
I am not a horse, I said. You are a horse yourself.
No, you're a horse, - answered Vovka. - Otherwise we won't get a bonus.
So be it, - I said. - I'm tired.
Be patient, - said Vovka.
I crawled up to the wall, leaned against it and sat on the floor.
You are sitting? - asked Vovka.
I'm sitting, I said.
Well, okay, - Vovka agreed. - You can still sit on the floor. Just don't sit on a chair. Do you understand? A horse - and suddenly on a chair! ..
Music blared all around, laughing.
I asked:
Will it end soon?
Be patient, - said Vovka, - probably soon ...
Vovka also could not stand it. Sat on the sofa. I sat next to him. Then Vovka fell asleep on the couch. And I fell asleep too.
Then they woke us up and gave us a bonus.
In the closet
Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.
I sat in the closet, waited for the start of the lesson and did not notice myself how I fell asleep.
I wake up - the class is quiet. I look through the crack - no one is there. He pushed the door, and it was closed. So I slept through the whole lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.
Stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I was scared, I started screaming:
Eee! I'm in the closet! Help!
Listened - silence all around.
ABOUT! Comrades! I'm in the closet!
I hear someone's steps. Someone is coming.
Who is yelling here?
I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaner.
I rejoiced, I shout:
Aunt Nyusha, I'm here!
Where are you, dear?
I'm in the closet! In the closet!
How did you, dear, get there?
I'm in the closet, grandma!
So I hear that you're in the closet. So what do you want?
I was locked in a closet. Oh, grandma!
Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She must have gone for the key.
Pal Palych tapped on the cabinet with his finger.
There is no one there, - said Pal Palych.
How not. Yes, - said Aunt Nyusha.
Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked again on the cabinet.
I was afraid that everyone would leave, I would stay in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:
I'm here!
Who are you? asked Pal Palych.
I... Tsypkin...
Why did you climb up there, Tsypkin?
They locked me up... I didn't get in...
Um... He's locked up! But he didn't get in! Did you see? What wizards in our school! They do not climb into the closet while they are locked in the closet. Miracles don't happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?
How long have you been sitting there? asked Pal Palych.
Don't know...
Find the key, - said Pal Palych. - Fast.
Aunt Nyusha went for the key, but Pal Palych remained. He sat down on a chair nearby and waited. I saw his face through the crack. He was very angry. He lit up and said:
Well! That's where the prank comes in. Tell me honestly: why are you in the closet?
I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, but I'm not there. As if I had never been there. They will ask me: “Were you in the closet?” I'll say, "I didn't." They will say to me: “Who was there?” I'll say, "I don't know."
But that only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow mom will be called ... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept there all the lessons, and all that ... as if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs hurt, my back hurts. One pain! What was my answer?
I was silent.
Are you alive there? asked Pal Palych.
Well, sit down, they will open soon ...
I am sitting...
So ... - said Pal Palych. - So you will answer me, why did you climb into this closet?
Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?
I wanted to disappear again.
The director asked:
Tsypkin, are you?
I sighed heavily. I just couldn't answer anymore.
Aunt Nyusha said:
The class leader took the key.
Break open the door, - said the director.
I felt the door being broken - the closet shook, I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I rested my hands on the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.
Well, come out, - said the director. And tell us what that means.
I didn't move. I was scared.
Why is he worth it? the director asked.
They took me out of the closet.
I was silent all the time.
I didn't know what to say.
I just wanted to meow. But how would I put it...
carousel in the head
By the end of the school year, I asked my father to buy me a two-wheeled bicycle, a battery-powered submachine gun, a battery-powered airplane, a flying helicopter, and table hockey.
I so want to have these things! - I said to my father. - They are constantly spinning in my head like a carousel, and this makes my head spin so much that it is difficult to stay on my feet.
Hold on, - said the father, - do not fall and write all these things on a piece of paper for me so that I do not forget.
But why write, they already sit firmly in my head.
Write, - said the father, - it doesn't cost you anything.
In general, it costs nothing, - I said, - just an extra hassle. - And I wrote in large letters on the whole sheet:
WILISAPET
GUN-GUN
VIRTALET
Then I thought about it and decided to write “ice cream” again, went to the window, looked at the sign opposite and added:
ICE CREAM
Father read and says:
I'll buy you ice cream for now, and wait for the rest.
I thought he had no time now, and I ask:
Until what time?
Until better times.
Until what?
Until next year ends.
Yes, because the letters in your head are spinning like a carousel, this makes you dizzy, and the words are not on their feet.
It's like words have legs!
And I've already bought ice cream a hundred times.
Betball
Today you should not go outside - today is a game ... - said dad mysteriously, looking out the window.
Which? I asked from behind my father's back.
Wetball, - he answered even more mysteriously and put me on the windowsill.
A-ah-ah ... - I drawled.
Apparently, dad guessed that I did not understand anything, and began to explain.
Vetball is football, only trees play it, and the wind is driven instead of the ball. We say - a hurricane or a storm, and they are a wetball. Look how the birch trees rustled - they are giving them poplars ... Wow! How they swayed - it is clear that they conceded a goal, they could not hold the wind with branches ... Well, another pass! Dangerous moment...
Dad spoke just like a real commentator, and I, spellbound, looked out into the street and thought that vetball would probably give 100 points ahead to any football, basketball and even handball! Although I didn't fully understand the meaning of the latter...
Breakfast
Actually, I love breakfast. Especially if mom cooks sausage or cheese sandwiches instead of porridge. But sometimes you want something unusual. For example, today or yesterday. I once asked my mother for today, but she looked at me in surprise and offered an afternoon snack.
No, - I say, - I would just like today. Well, or yesterday, at worst ...
Yesterday there was soup for lunch ... - Mom was confused. - Would you like to warm up?
In general, I did not understand anything.
And I myself don’t really understand how these today’s and yesterday’s look and what they taste like. Maybe yesterday's people really do taste like yesterday's soup. But what then is the taste of today? Probably something today. Breakfast, for example. On the other hand, why are breakfasts so called? Well, that is, if according to the rules, then breakfast should be called today, because they cooked it for me today and I will eat it today. Now, if I leave it for tomorrow, then it's a completely different matter. Although no. After all, tomorrow it will become yesterday.
So would you like porridge or soup? she asked carefully.
How the boy Yasha ate badly
Yasha was good to everyone, he just ate badly. All the time with concerts. Either mom sings to him, or dad shows tricks. And he gets along:
- Don't want.
Mom says:
- Yasha, eat porridge.
- Don't want.
Papa says:
- Yasha, drink juice!
- Don't want.
Mom and dad got tired of persuading him every time. And then my mother read in one scientific pedagogical book that children should not be persuaded to eat. It is necessary to put a plate of porridge in front of them and wait for them to get hungry and eat everything.
They put, put plates in front of Yasha, but he does not eat and does not eat anything. He doesn't eat meatballs, soup, or porridge. He became thin and dead, like a straw.
-Yasha, eat porridge!
- Don't want.
- Yasha, eat soup!
- Don't want.
Previously, his pants were hard to fasten, but now he dangled completely freely in them. It was possible to launch another Yasha into these pants.
And then one day a strong wind blew. And Yasha played on the site. He was very light, and the wind rolled him around the site. Rolled up to the wire mesh fence. And there Yasha got stuck.
So he sat, pressed against the fence by the wind, for an hour.
Mom calls:
- Yasha, where are you? Go home with the soup to suffer.
But he doesn't go. He is not even heard. He not only became dead himself, but his voice became dead. Nothing is heard that he squeaks there.
And he squeaks:
- Mom, take me away from the fence!
Mom began to worry - where did Yasha go? Where to look for it? Yasha is not seen and not heard.
Dad said this:
- I think our Yasha was rolled away somewhere by the wind. Come on, mom, we'll take the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind will blow and the smell of soup will bring to Yasha. On this delicious smell, he will crawl.
So they did. They carried the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind carried the smell to Yasha.
As soon as Yasha smelled the smell of delicious soup, he immediately crawled to the smell. Because he was cold, he lost a lot of strength.
He crawled, crawled, crawled for half an hour. But he reached his goal. He came to the kitchen to his mother and how he immediately eats a whole pot of soup! How to eat three cutlets at once! How to drink three glasses of compote!
Mom was amazed. She didn't even know whether to be happy or upset. She says:
- Yasha, if you eat like this every day, I won’t have enough food.
Yasha reassured her:
– No, Mom, I don’t eat so much every day. I correct past mistakes. I bubu, like all children, eat well. I'm a completely different boy.
I wanted to say "I will", but he got "boob". Do you know why? Because his mouth was full of apples. He couldn't stop.
Since then, Yasha has been eating well.
secrets
Are you good at secrets?
If you don't know how, I will teach you.
Take a clean piece of glass and dig a hole in the ground. Put a candy wrapper in the hole, and on the candy wrapper - everything that you have beautiful.
You can put a stone, a fragment of a plate, a bead, a bird's feather, a ball (you can use glass, you can use metal).
You can use an acorn or an acorn cap.
Maybe a multi-colored piece.
It can be a flower, a leaf, or even just grass.
Maybe real candy.
You can elderberry, dry beetle.
You can even eraser, if it is beautiful.
Yes, you can have another button if it's shiny.
Here you go. Have you put it down?
Now cover it all with glass and cover it with earth. And then slowly clear the ground with your finger and look into the hole ... You know how beautiful it will be! I made a “secret”, remembered the place and left.
The next day my "secret" was gone. Someone dug it up. Some bully.
I made a "secret" in another place. And they dug it up again!
Then I decided to track down who was doing this business ... And of course, this person turned out to be Pavlik Ivanov, who else ?!
Then I again made a "secret" and put a note in it:
"Pavlik Ivanov, you are a fool and a bully."
An hour later, the note was gone. Peacock did not look into my eyes.
Well, did you read it? I asked Pavlik.
I didn’t read anything,” Pavlik said. - You're a fool yourself.
Composition
One day we were told to write an essay in class on the topic “I help my mother.”
I took a pen and began to write:
"I always help my mom. I sweep the floor and wash the dishes. Sometimes I wash handkerchiefs.”
I didn't know what to write anymore. I looked at Lucy. That's what she wrote in her notebook.
Then I remembered that I washed my stockings once, and wrote:
“I also wash stockings and socks.”
I didn't really know what to write anymore. But you can’t hand over such a short essay!
Then I added:
“I also wash T-shirts, shirts and shorts.”
I looked around. Everyone wrote and wrote. I wonder what they write about? You might think that they help mom from morning to night!
And the lesson didn't end. And I had to keep going.
“I also wash dresses, mine and my mother’s, napkins and a bedspread.”
And the lesson never ended. And I wrote:
“I also love washing curtains and tablecloths.”
And then the bell finally rang!
I got a "five". The teacher read my essay aloud. She said that she liked my composition the most. And that she will read it at the parent-teacher meeting.
I asked my mother very much not to go to the parent meeting. I said that my throat hurts. But my mother told my father to give me hot milk with honey and went to school.
The following conversation took place at breakfast the next morning.
Mom: And you know, Syoma, it turns out that our daughter writes compositions wonderfully!
Dad: It doesn't surprise me. She has always been good at writing.
Mom: No, really! I'm not kidding, Vera Evstigneevna praises her. She was very pleased that our daughter loves to wash curtains and tablecloths.
Dad: What?!
Mom: Really, Syoma, is it wonderful? - Turning to me: - Why have you never admitted this to me before?
I was shy, I said. - I thought you wouldn't let me.
Well, what are you! Mom said. - Don't be shy, please! Wash our curtains today. It's good that I don't have to haul them to the laundry!
I goggled my eyes. The curtains were huge. Ten times I could wrap myself in them! But it was too late to retreat.
I washed the curtains piece by piece. While I was lathering one piece, the other was completely washed out. I'm just tired of these pieces! Then I rinsed the curtains in the bathroom piece by piece. When I finished squeezing one piece, water from neighboring pieces was again poured into it.
Then I climbed onto a stool and began to hang the curtains on a rope.
Well, that was the worst! While I was pulling one piece of the curtain onto the rope, the other fell to the floor. And in the end, the whole curtain fell to the floor, and I fell on it from the stool.
I became quite wet - at least squeeze it out.
The curtain had to be dragged back into the bathroom. But the floor in the kitchen shone like new.
Water was pouring from the curtains all day.
I put all the pots and pans we had under the curtains. Then she put the kettle on the floor, three bottles, and all the cups and saucers. But water still flooded the kitchen.
Oddly enough, my mother was pleased.
You did a great job washing the curtains! - said my mother, walking around the kitchen in galoshes. I didn't know you were so capable! Tomorrow you will wash the tablecloth...
What is my head thinking
If you think that I am a good student, you are wrong. I study hard. For some reason, everyone thinks that I am capable, but lazy. I don't know if I'm capable or not. But only I know for sure that I'm not lazy. I sit on tasks for three hours.
Here, for example, now I'm sitting and I want to solve the problem with all my might. And she does not dare. I tell my mom
Mom, I can't do it.
Don't be lazy, says mom. - Think carefully, and everything will work out. Just think carefully!
She's leaving on business. And I take my head with both hands and say to her:
Think head. Think carefully… “Two pedestrians went from point A to point B…” Head, why don't you think? Well, head, well, think, please! Well, what are you worth!
A cloud floats outside the window. It is as light as fluff. Here it stopped. No, it floats on.
Head, what are you thinking? Aren `t you ashamed!!! “Two pedestrians went from point A to point B ...” Luska, probably, also left. She is already walking. If she had approached me first, I would have forgiven her, of course. But is she suitable, such a pest ?!
"...From point A to point B..." No, it won't fit. On the contrary, when I go out into the yard, she will take Lena by the arm and will whisper with her. Then she will say: "Len, come to me, I have something." They will leave, and then they will sit on the windowsill and laugh and gnaw on seeds.
“... Two pedestrians left point A for point B...” And what will I do?.. And then I will call Kolya, Petka and Pavlik to play bast shoes. And what will she do? Yeah, she'll put on a Three Fat Men record. Yes, so loudly that Kolya, Petka and Pavlik will hear and run to ask her to let them listen. They listened a hundred times, everything is not enough for them! And then Lyuska will close the window, and they will all listen to the record there.
"... From point A to point ... to point ..." And then I'll take it and shoot something right into her window. Glass - ding! - and shatter. Let him know.
So. I'm tired of thinking. Think do not think - the task does not work. Just awful, what a difficult task! I'll walk around for a bit and start thinking again.
I closed my book and looked out the window. Lyuska alone was walking in the yard. She jumped into hopscotch. I went outside and sat down on a bench. Lucy didn't even look at me.
Earring! Vitka! Lucy immediately screamed. - Let's go to play bast shoes!
The Karmanov brothers looked out the window.
We have a throat, both brothers said hoarsely. - They won't let us in.
Lena! Lucy screamed. - Linen! Come out!
Instead of Lena, her grandmother looked out and threatened Lyuska with her finger.
Pavlik! Lucy screamed.
Nobody appeared at the window.
Pe-et-ka-ah! Luska perked up.
Girl, what are you yelling at?! Someone's head popped out of the window. - A sick person is not allowed to rest! There is no rest from you! - And the head stuck back into the window.
Luska furtively looked at me and blushed like a cancer. She tugged at her pigtail. Then she took the thread off her sleeve. Then she looked at the tree and said:
Lucy, let's go to the classics.
Come on, I said.
We jumped into the hopscotch and I went home to solve my problem.
As soon as I sat down at the table, my mother came:
Well, what's the problem?
Does not work.
But you've been sitting on it for two hours already! It's just awful what it is! They ask the children some puzzles!.. Well, let's show your task! Maybe I can do it? I did finish college. So. “Two pedestrians went from point A to point B ...” Wait, wait, this task is familiar to me! Listen, you and your dad decided it last time! I remember perfectly!
How? - I was surprised. - Really? Oh, really, this is the forty-fifth task, and we were given the forty-sixth.
At this, my mother got very angry.
It's outrageous! Mom said. - It's unheard of! This mess! Where is your head?! What is she thinking about?!
About my friend and a little bit about me
Our yard was large. There were a lot of children walking in our yard - both boys and girls. But most of all I loved Lucy. She was my friend. She and I lived in neighboring apartments, and at school we sat at the same desk.
My friend Luska had straight yellow hair. And she had eyes! .. You probably won’t believe what her eyes were. One eye green as grass. And the other is completely yellow, with brown spots!
And my eyes were kind of grey. Well, just grey, that's all. Completely uninteresting eyes! And my hair was stupid - curly and short. And huge freckles on the nose. And in general, everything at Luska was better than mine. It's just that I was taller.
I was awfully proud of it. I really liked it when we were called “Big Lyuska” and “Lyuska Little” in the yard.
And suddenly Lucy grew up. And it became unclear which of us is big and which is small.
And then she grew another half a head.
Well, that was too much! I was offended by her, and we stopped walking together in the yard. At school, I didn’t look in her direction, but she didn’t look in mine, and everyone was very surprised and said: “A black cat ran between the Lyuski,” and pestered us why we quarreled.
After school, I now did not go out into the yard. There was nothing for me to do there.
I wandered around the house and did not find a place for myself. In order not to be so bored, I stealthily, from behind the curtain, watched Luska play bast shoes with Pavlik, Petka and the Karmanov brothers.
At lunch and dinner, I now asked for more. I choked, but ate everything ... Every day I pressed the back of my head against the wall and marked my height on it with a red pencil. But strange thing! It turned out that I not only did not grow, but even, on the contrary, decreased by almost two millimeters!
And then summer came, and I went to a pioneer camp.
In the camp, I always remembered Luska and missed her.
And I wrote her a letter.
“Hello, Lucy!
How are you? I'm doing well. We have a lot of fun at camp. We have the River Vorya flowing nearby. It has blue water! And there are shells on the beach. I found a very beautiful shell for you. She is round and has stripes. She'll probably come in handy for you. Lucy, if you want, let's be friends again. Let them now call you big, and me small. I still agree. Please write me an answer.
With pioneer greetings!
Lucy Sinitsyna"
I've been waiting a whole week for an answer. I kept thinking: what if she doesn’t write to me! What if she never wants to be friends with me again! .. And when a letter finally arrived from Luska, I was so happy that my hands even trembled a little.
The letter said this:
“Hello, Lucy!
Thanks, I'm doing well. Yesterday my mother bought me wonderful slippers with a white edging. I also have a new big ball, you will swing right! Hurry up, come, otherwise Pavlik and Petka are such fools, it’s not interesting with them! Don't lose your shell.
With pioneer salute!
Lucy Kositsyna"
On that day, I carried Lucy's blue envelope with me until evening. I told everyone what a wonderful friend Lyuska I have in Moscow.
And when I returned from the camp, Lyuska, along with my parents, met me at the station. She and I rushed to hug ... And then it turned out that I had outgrown Luska by a whole head.
Interesting stories by Viktor Golyavkin for younger students. Stories to read in elementary school. Extracurricular reading in grades 1-4.
Viktor Golyavkin. NOTEBOOKS IN THE RAIN
At recess, Marik says to me:
Let's get out of class. Look how good it is outside!
- What if Aunt Dasha delays with briefcases?
- You need to throw your briefcases out the window.
We looked out the window: near the wall it was dry, and a little further away there was a huge puddle. Don't throw your portfolios into the puddle! We removed the straps from our trousers, tied them together, and carefully lowered our briefcases over them. At this time, the bell rang. The teacher entered. I had to sit down. The lesson has begun. Rain poured outside the window. Marik writes me a note:
Our notebooks are gone
I answer him:
Our notebooks are gone
He writes to me:
What we are going to do?
I answer him:
What we are going to do?
Suddenly they call me to the blackboard.
“I can’t,” I say, “I can go to the blackboard.
"How," I think, "to go without a belt?"
“Go, go, I will help you,” the teacher says.
- You don't need to help me.
“Did you get sick by any chance?”
“I got sick,” I say.
- How about homework?
- Good with homework.
The teacher comes up to me.
- Well, show me your notebook.
- What's going on with you?
You'll have to put in a two.
He opens the magazine and gives me a F, and I think about my notebook, which is now getting wet in the rain.
The teacher gave me a deuce and calmly says this:
"You're kind of weird today...
Viktor Golyavkin. THINGS ARE NOT GOING MY WAY
One day I come home from school. On this day, I just got a deuce. I walk around the room and sing. I sing and sing so that no one would think that I got a deuce. And then they will ask again: “Why are you gloomy, why are you thoughtful? »
Father says:
What is he singing like that?
And mom says:
- He must be in a cheerful mood, so he sings.
Father says:
- Probably got an A, that's fun for a man. It's always fun when you do something good.
When I heard this, I sang even louder.
Then the father says:
- Well, Vovka, please your father, show the diary.
At this point, I immediately stopped singing.
- For what? I ask.
“I see,” says the father, “you really want to show the diary.
He takes my diary, sees a deuce there and says:
- Surprisingly, he got a deuce and sings! What, is he crazy? Come on, Vova, come here! Do you happen to have a temperature?
“I don’t have,” I say, “no temperature.”
Father spread his hands and says:
“Then you should be punished for this singing…”
That's how bad luck I am!
Viktor Golyavkin. WHAT'S INTERESTING
When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters: O - a circle and T - a hammer. And that's it. I didn't know any other letters. And he couldn't read.
Grandmother tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick:
“Now, now, granny, I’ll wash the dishes for you.”
And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about her studies and even bought him gifts for helping with the household. And Gogin's parents were on a long business trip and hoped for a grandmother. And of course, they did not know that their son had not yet learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went for bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And read aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with his eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, “if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try.
And in class, he dodged as best he could.
The teacher tells him:
- Read it right here.
He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him. The teacher stopped him. To the laughter of the class, he said:
- If you want, I'd better close the window so that it doesn't blow.
“I’m so dizzy that I’m probably going to fall now ...
He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor. The doctor asked:
- How is your health?
"Bad," said Goga.
- What hurts?
“Well then, go to class.
- Why?
Because you don't have any pain.
— How do you know?
- How do you know that? the doctor laughed. And he lightly pushed Goga to the exit. Goga never pretended to be sick again, but he continued to evade.
And the efforts of classmates did not lead to anything. First, Masha, an excellent student, was attached to him.
"Let's study seriously," Masha told him.
- When? Goga asked.
- Yeah right now.
"I'll be right back," said Goga.
And he left and didn't come back.
Then Grisha, an excellent student, was attached to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk.
- Where are you going? Grisha asked.
“Come here,” Goga called.
“No one will interfere with us here.
- Yah you! - Grisha, of course, was offended and immediately left.
No one else was attached to him.
As time went. He dodged.
Gogin's parents arrived and found that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book that she brought to her child.
“Now every evening,” she said, “I will read this wonderful book aloud to my son.
Grandma said:
“Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening.
But the father said:
“You really shouldn’t have done it. Our Gogochka has grown lazy to such an extent that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting.
And dad, along with grandma and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And even dangled his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet.
But he didn't know what the meeting was! What did they decide!
So Mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, dangling his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to continue. But when mom stopped at the most interesting place, he became worried again.
And when she handed him the book, he became even more excited.
He immediately suggested:
- Come on, Mom, I'll wash the dishes.
And he ran to wash the dishes.
He ran to his father.
The father strictly told him never to make such requests to him again.
He slipped the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it back to his grandmother. But she again dropped it from her hands. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is it really,” thought Goga, “is she sleeping, or was she instructed at the meeting to pretend? Goga pulled her, shook her, but grandmother did not even think of waking up.
In desperation, he sat down on the floor and looked at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was going on there.
He brought the book to class. But classmates refused to read to him. Even more than that: Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly climbed under the desk.
Goga stuck to a high school student, but he flicked his nose and laughed.
That's what a home meeting means!
That's what the public means!
He soon read the whole book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go out for bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes.
That's what's interesting!
Viktor Golyavkin. IN THE CLOSET
Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.
I sat in the closet, waited for the start of the lesson and did not notice myself how I fell asleep.
I wake up - the class is quiet. I look through the crack - no one is there. He pushed the door, and it was closed. So I slept through the whole lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.
Stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I was scared, I started screaming:
— Eee! I'm in the closet! Help!
Listened - silence all around.
- ABOUT! Comrades! I'm in the closet!
I hear someone's steps. Someone is coming.
- Who's yelling here?
I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaner.
I rejoiced, I shout:
- Aunt Nyusha, I'm here!
- Where are you, dear?
- I'm in the closet! In the closet!
“How did you get there, honey?”
- I'm in the closet, grandma!
“I can hear that you are in the closet. So what do you want?
- They locked me in a closet. Oh, grandma!
Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She must have gone for the key.
Pal Palych tapped on the cabinet with his finger.
“There is no one there,” said Pal Palych.
- How not. Yes, said Aunt Nyusha.
- Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked again on the cabinet.
I was afraid that everyone would leave, I would stay in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:
- I'm here!
- Who are you? Pal Palych asked.
— I... Tsypkin...
"Why did you get in there, Tsypkin?"
- They locked me up... I didn't get in...
— Hm... He was locked up! But he didn't get in! Did you see? What wizards in our school! They do not climb into the closet while they are locked in the closet. Miracles don't happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?
- I hear...
- How long have you been sitting there? Pal Palych asked.
- Don't know...
“Find the key,” said Pal Palych. - Fast.
Aunt Nyusha went for the key, but Pal Palych remained. He sat down on a chair nearby and waited. I saw through
slit his face. He was very angry. He lit up and said:
- Well! That's where the prank comes in. Tell me honestly: why are you in the closet?
I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, but I'm not there. As if I had never been there. They will ask me: “Were you in the closet?” I'll say, "I didn't." They will say to me: “Who was there?” I'll say, "I don't know."
But that only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow mom will be called ... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept there all the lessons, and all that ... as if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs hurt, my back hurts. One pain! What was my answer?
I was silent.
Are you alive there? Pal Palych asked.
- Alive...
- Well, sit down, they will open soon ...
- I am sitting...
"Yes..." said Pal Palych. “So you tell me why you climbed into this closet?”
- Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?
I wanted to disappear again.
The director asked:
Tsypkin, is that you?
I sighed heavily. I just couldn't answer anymore.
Aunt Nyusha said:
The class president took the key.
"Break down the door," the director said.
I felt the door being broken, the closet shook, I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I rested my hands on the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.
“Come on out,” the director said. And tell us what that means.
I didn't move. I was scared.
Why is he standing? the director asked.
They took me out of the closet.
I was silent all the time.
I didn't know what to say.
I just wanted to meow. But how would I put it...
Funniest Literary Opus Competition
Send us withhowl short funny stories,
really happened in your life.
Great prizes await the winners!
Be sure to include:
1. Last name, first name, age
2. Title of work
3. Email address
Winners are determined in three age groups:
1 group - up to 7 years
Group 2 - from 7 to 10 years old
Group 3 - over 10 years old
Competitive works:
Didn't cheat...
This morning, as usual, I do a light jog. Suddenly a cry from behind - uncle, uncle! I stop - I see a girl of 11-12 years old rushing towards me with a Caucasian shepherd dog, continuing to shout: "Uncle, uncle!" I, thinking that something happened, go forward. When there were 5 meters left before our meeting, the girl was able to say the phrase to the end:
Uncle, I'm sorry, but she will bite you now !!!
Didn't cheat...
Sofia Batrakova, 10 years old
salt tea
It happened one morning. I got up and went to the kitchen for tea. I did everything automatically: I poured tea leaves, boiling water and put 2 tablespoons of granulated sugar. She sat down at the table and began to drink tea with pleasure, but it was not sweet tea, but salty! Waking up, I put salt instead of sugar.
My relatives made fun of me for a long time.
Guys, draw conclusions: go to bed on time so that you don’t drink salty tea in the morning!!!
Agata Popova, student of MOU "Secondary School No. 2, Kondopoga
Quiet time for seedlings
Grandmother and her grandson decided to plant tomato seedlings. Together they poured earth, planted seeds, watered them. Every day, the granddaughter looked forward to the appearance of sprouts. Here are the first shoots. How much joy! Seedlings grew by leaps and bounds. One evening, the grandmother told her grandson that tomorrow morning we would go to plant seedlings in the garden ... In the morning, the grandmother woke up early, and what was her surprise: all the seedlings were lying. Grandmother asks her grandson: “What happened to our seedlings?” And the granddaughter proudly replies: “I put our seedlings to sleep!”
school snake
After the summer, after the summer
I'm flying on wings to the classroom!
Together again - Kolya, Sveta,
Olya, Tolya, Katya, Stas!
How many stamps and postcards
Butterflies, beetles, snails.
Stones, glass, shells.
Eggs are motley cuckoos.
This is a hawk claw.
Here is the herbarium! - Chur, do not touch!
I take it out of my bag
What would you think?.. A snake!
Where is the noise and laughter now?
As if the wind had blown everyone away!
Dasha Balashova, 11 years old
Rabbit peace
Once I went to the market for shopping. I stood in line for meat, and a guy is standing in front of me, looking at the meat, and there is a sign with the inscription "Rabbit of the World." The guy probably did not immediately understand that "Rabbit of the World" is the name of the saleswoman, and now his turn comes up, and he says: "Give me 300-400 grams of the rabbit of the world," he says - very interesting, he never tried it. The saleswoman looks up and says, "Mira Rabbit is me." The whole line was just laughing.
Nastya Bohunenko, 14 years old
The winner of the competition is Ksyusha Alekseeva, 11 years old,
sent such a "chuckle":
I am Pushkin!
Once, in the fourth grade, we were asked to learn a poem. Finally the day came when everyone had to tell it. Andrey Alekseev was the first to go to the blackboard (he has nothing to lose, because his name is in front of everyone in the class magazine). Here he expressively recited a poem, and the teacher of literature, who came to our lesson to replace our teacher, asks for his last name and first name. And it seemed to Andrei that he was asked to name the author of the poem he had learned. Then he said so confidently and loudly: "Alexander Pushkin." Then the whole class roared with laughter along with the new teacher.
COMPETITION IS CLOSED
