The man has read the message and is not responding. The man does not answer the phone. What to do

If a man does not answer you, then you immediately begin to build a whole logical chain in your head. Koshechka.ru will not be surprised if it leads to resentment, negative emotions and their splashing out not only on this person, but on everyone in a row.

I would like to say this right now. There will be no “sweet” dreams here that he did not answer, because, for example, he was forced to save a kitten from imminent death or transferred his grandmother across the road, and then it turned out that a plate with aliens had landed right at the crossroads. Hands are busy - where can I answer!

Now, no matter how trite it may sound, the century digital technologies. Phone, smartphone - always with you. Or a person is constantly at the computer and is able to check social networks, or even does not get out of them, sometimes because the work is connected precisely with this. And yes, let's make a reservation, there are unforeseen circumstances under which he really could not answer for objective reasons. But this exception only confirms the rule. And sooner or later he will show up, even if you do nothing (and this is best).

So, after such a "cold shower", let's figure out how to behave if a man does not answer. After all, we must agree, this is a strong blow to conceit, self-esteem, and in general everything with the prefix "self-". It is necessary to get out of this situation (introspection and finding out the reasons why such an ignore) into a situation of maximum self-love.

It is believed that only those who are not busy can “worry” on this topic. But it also happens that a mountain of deeds, work, projects has accumulated, namely the message that HIM sent, and hangs in the mind, like a kind of "stopper". And you think, what if I wrote something wrong, so he is silent. First, take him off his pedestal - what did he do to become the Man of Dreams? Ignores, why so attractive? Inaccessible and thus attractive?

Can you write messages?

Not in terms of typing them, putting words from letters and adding emoticons, but building messages correctly?

After all, sometimes your message is really faced with a wall of silence, because there is simply nothing to answer to it. Men are such "creatures" who (their best representatives, of course) do not waste words in vain. And if the message does not contain a specific question, then they do not see the point in coming up with something in response. This situation is just a prime example moreover, if the man does not answer immediately. He's just thinking about what to write to you. Of course, if he is very passionate about you, then he will write more often and come up with ways to contact you.

And it's not about whether you're good or bad. And in your behavior..

If a man does not answer - do not wait tensely by the phone, get down to business!

What to do if the man does not answer?

1. Forget it exists. It's really like it doesn't exist on this planet. It will be great to do other things, work, finally visit relatives, meet girlfriends, and finally answer some other guy and meet him. There will be nothing like this in a banal meeting, but in some incomprehensible way they “feel” that an opponent appears. Checked!
2. Let's analyze what you wrote to him. If your message literally shows dependence, adoration and all that, then it is repulsive. He's also a hunter. But if there is something in life that he cannot get, he literally blows his mind. And, perhaps, by the way, this is precisely the reason why he does not answer you, because he is thinking about how to impress another girl. Who looks down on him, is mysterious, or simply does not pay attention to him, because she is busy with her own business. That's right at the moment.
3. What to write to a man if he does not answer? Well, if you are not afraid to worry and worry even more, then the message should contain a question. And not in the spirit: “Why are you ignoring me, you are not a good person?” And something banal, to which it is simply impossible not to answer. Believe me, even if he is very busy or tired, he will answer if you are dear to him.
4. If a man does not respond to messages and SMS, call him. Again, if you are not afraid to come across a cold tone. Or long beeps, after which the person will not call back.
5. It is not necessary, in the case of even a minute of waiting after writing and sending a message, to think that he will definitely not answer, and reproach yourself, self-flagellate. Remember, a man treats you exactly the same as you treat yourself. And if you start looking for reasons in yourself, thinking that you are ugly or uninteresting, or he has better options and write menacing messages saturated with jealousy, he will not be interested in such a person.

In general, try to be inaccessible and do not agree to meetings immediately so that he does not think that after the first or second date you are completely his. Then, no matter how fabulous it may sound, you will become for him the girl of his dreams. And ideally, you need to make sure that he thinks why she does not answer, and where she spends time and with whom. Especially if we are now discussing not family relationships, but simply relationships between people looking for their soul mate.

Got another question from you: Why does a man avoid the questions I ask him?

Well, let's figure it out.

1. A matter of trust.
If your man ALWAYS does not communicate with you very much, and you do not often manage to get him to straight Talk, - then here, most likely, the question trust. Apparently, a certain reliable bridge has not been established between you, along which joint issues can be resolved.

You need to work on the level of trust in your relationship! Become more open, start trusting your partner more, and over time, he will also start to trust you more. In general, in this situation, you need to start with yourself.

2. Freedom of a man.
If you show excessive perseverance or importunity with your questions, your man may simply begin to close up and, as it were, run away from you into his cave.

This can be regarded as an infringement on his freedom. That is, he, instead of going about his business or discussing things that are interesting to HIM, he is forced to defend himself and justify himself to you.

In general, in this situation, a man regards your questions as harassment or an attack on his freedom and independence.

3. He has something to hide.
This is a sadder and more neglected version. It seems to you that you have a normal, high-quality, warm relationship, but for some reason your man simply does not answer your questions. And you expect things to get better soon.

Most likely, the man does not share your point of view on your relationship. Either he doesn't love you, or he has something to hide from you.

In this case, you need to take the most decisive measures to bring the situation to clean water. You don't want to live long years in deceit?

4. In any case, this is an unhealthy situation.
You should remember that if your questions remain unanswered, it means in any case that something is wrong in your relationship. In principle, it does not matter which scenario you have out of the three listed, or you have some other, fourth scenario.

It is important to remember that communication is the foundation of any normal relationship. And if healthy communication is gone (or never appeared) - this is an alarm!

You need to sit down and talk. You can calmly and amicably explain to him how you feel about the lack of trusting communication in your relationship, and then give him the floor and listen to him carefully.

In some cases, a man is not even aware of the existence of such a problem, and he will gladly meet you halfway, just to please you.

But if a man in this case does not enter into a dialogue, I recommend that you think carefully - but in FIG you have such a relationship? Why are you next to a person who is not interested in making you feel good and calm?

Here your task is to have a desire to get to the bottom of things, and not bury your head in the sand, thinking that "everything is fine with you, I just don't understand something." If you want to make your life better with your man, go straight to this life and ask direct questions.

How often a woman is ready to fall into hysterics if her beloved man stopped responding to the SMS that she sent him. And really - why the man does not respond to SMS? Of course, he fell out of love with me, left me, he got tired of me. He got another one and he can't answer because he's sitting with her right now. A familiar situation, isn't it?

Why does a man not respond to SMS and does not call you at all? What to do to draw attention to yourself? What is the danger of text messages that lovers send to each other? You can find out about this from our article.

Why does a man not respond to SMS

So, you sent a text message to a man, and now you are waiting for a response and you are getting more and more worried because the man does not respond to SMS! Relax, it is quite possible that the man's phone just ran out of power - this also happens. And yet, he may run out of money on the account, which, as you understand, also makes sending text messages impossible.

Also, a man simply corny may not have free time. If you think that by sending a romantic and sensual message in the middle of a work day, you are sure to get a response in 5 minutes, then you are wrong. Often men are so busy solving work issues that they do not have time at all, not only to answer, but even to read the message. In addition, it is women who can quickly switch from one type of activity to another - men are not capable of this. Therefore, show restraint - when a man is released, he will definitely answer.

Of course, the reasons why a man does not respond to SMS are more sad. For example, you met a handsome young man, exchanged phone numbers, and you wrote him a message thanking him for the evening. And the answer is silence...

You won't believe it, but they really don't understand the reasons for your panic in case a man doesn't respond to SMS. If a man has urgent business or is very busy, he does not even think that he absolutely needs to answer your message. It's just that there are a lot of other problems in his head now.

It is possible that with a certain amount of perseverance and patience, you will be able to teach him to send you at least ordinary emoticons in response. Some men, after some time, begin to understand that he needs to answer your SMS with a smiley, and now the woman is calm and instead of tears and reproaches, affectionate chirping will await him ..

Well, imagine, you really don’t want your man to quit his job, build himself a hut on the outskirts and from time to time call out to you from there, right? Unfortunately, you need to come to terms with the fact that men do not have multi-channel thinking, like women, and at the time of the meeting, he will not think about you, but about business.

Well, of course, there are cases when a man does not respond to SMS because he is really offended by you for something and that is why he ignores the messages that you send him. Try to remember if you had a fight recent times? Or maybe your mutual friends could tell him something?

Yes, maybe he just doesn’t have time to answer the message, but still, it’s also worth considering the option that the man is ignoring you. Yes, it's hard to accept this fact. However, it is worth bearing it in mind. Also, a man may simply accidentally delete your message when he clears the folder of unnecessary SMS messages. In general, as you can see, there are a lot of reasons.

What to do if a man does not answer SMS

After your man nevertheless appears on the horizon and receives a series of reproaches and tears from you, in his brain begins to happen active work, which manifests itself on the face with sincere bewilderment - but what happened? I was just busy. Indeed, the male understanding of life and relationships with their loved ones is very different from the female.

If you suspect that you offended the man in some way and that is why the man does not respond to SMS, then the best thing you can do in this situation is to write him a sincere repentant message and apologize if you feel guilty. Well, now you just have to wait until he manages to calm down enough and answer you. Don't take it too far. He will definitely need time to come to his senses and think everything over. If he a real man, he will definitely get in touch in order to explain to you.

Note that an SMS message is not the most The best way connections today. You can always send a letter to a person by e-mail or leave a message social network. This will allow the addressee to read it and respond when he has free time.

Of course, the man does not respond to SMS, you can always call the man if you have an urgent question, or even come to his work. True, keep in mind that the latter option is not always acceptable - many men do not like such obsession on the part of their partners.

We hope that our tips have helped you understand why a man does not respond to SMS, and choose the method of communication with a partner that will be as effective as possible.

Often a woman begins to fall into hysterics when a man does not respond to a message that she sent him. Pictures of jealousy and self-doubt immediately begin to develop in my head: “What if he doesn’t love me anymore?”, “What if he has another?”, “Maybe they are together now?”. Why is the man actually ignoring your message? What do you do to get the right attention? Let's try to find answers to these questions.

What are possible reasons no response to your sms?

You are waiting for an answer, but it is still not there. Panic is slowly building up in my heart. Relax and reassure yourself, maybe your loved one just ran out of phone or ran out of money in the account, so he can’t answer.

Most likely your beloved person is busy. He probably just doesn't have time to answer you right now. Do not rush to blame him for all the sins, wait, he will answer a little later, when he will deal with the cases. Men do not understand women's anxiety if they do not respond to messages or call back in time. When they have urgent business, all thoughts will be only about business. Perhaps over time you will be able to convey your anxieties to your chosen one, and he will learn to answer at least in short phrases.

There are also sadder cases. If you just recently met a young man, exchanged numbers and decided to write to him, silence in response may mean that the guy does not want to continue communication.

Another man may not answer because he is offended or angry with you. Remember if you had any disagreements or quarrels lately, maybe you said something unpleasant to him. He could also learn something bad about you from mutual acquaintances and is now ignoring it.

How to behave when he does not respond to your SMS?

If your partner was just busy and could not answer, you should not pour reproaches on him and shed tears. Men and women perceive relationships with loved ones differently. In his understanding, he did not do anything that could upset you so much.

If you know that a man is offended by you and for this reason ignores your message, you should write to him that you are sorry about what happened. If you feel guilty towards him, apologize. After that, it remains only to wait for the result. No need to call or write anything else, give your partner some time to think. If you are valuable to him, he will call back or write an answer.

If an unfamiliar man does not answer you, he may not want to establish communication. In this case, it is better not to be intrusive and leave him alone. If he is still interested in you, he will answer or call back when he is not busy.

To date, SMS messages are not the most good way for communication. In case of an urgent matter, you can always call. And if you want to write a few pleasant lines, it is better to do it on a social network or by e-mail. This will allow the man to read it at a convenient time and respond.

Anton, 29 years old

Thanks to your advice, we were able to keep our family together with my wife. Soon we will give birth to the second boy)) Just thank you. From the heart.

Christina, 29 years old

When the daughter began to enter a transitional age, we completely lost mutual language with her. Home work. career - all this prevented timely recognition of the problem. Thanks for letting me know how to proceed.

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An interesting fact: the madness that you fall into today simply did not exist 10, 20 years ago. In those days, you wouldn't be maniacally checking your phone every few minutes, falling into anger and despair, in agony just because a person didn't send you a short, stupid text.

Modern romance is stressful, especially when it comes to writing. In 2010, only 10% of young people used messages to ask someone out on a date for the first time. In 2013 - already 32%. More and more people are sitting alone, staring at the screen of the phone, and at the same time experiencing a whole range of emotions.

A few minutes passed and the status of my message changed to read. My heart has stopped. Here it is, the moment of truth. I braced myself and watched as these little dots appeared on the smartphone screen, indicating that someone was typing a response for you. Feels like from a slow ride to the highest part of the slide. But then a few seconds pass - and that's it, they disappeared. And no answer.

Hmmm... What happened? A few more minutes pass and... nothing. 15 minutes pass... Nothing. My confidence is fading, doubts begin to torment me. An hour passes... Nothing. Two hours pass... Nothing. Three hours pass… A slight panic sets in. I am rereading my post. I was sure of him, but now I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with him.

“I am such a fool! You should have typed "Hello!" with two "e"s, not one. I asked too many questions. What was I thinking? Oh, I should have asked about something else. Aziz, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR QUESTIONS?”

Aziz Ansari

Technological progress today allows us to contact the person we like instantly. But that doesn't make it any less of a problem. For example, how to invite a girl or a guy on a date? Worth a call? Or send SMS? Or add as a friend and send a message on a social network? How long do you have to wait before answering an invitation? Obviously, with progress came changes in our personal lives. We evaluate a partner differently, we start and build relationships differently.

Comedian Aziz Ansari decided to look into the problems of modern romantic relationships and, together with New York University sociologist Eric Klinenberg, developed a massive research project. From 2013 to 2014, they conducted focus groups and surveys around the world, as well as interviewing well-known romance researchers. The results of this research resulted in the book Actively Searching, in which, among other things, you can find the answer to the question of what to do as soon as you send or receive a message.

How long should I wait before replying to a message?

This issue caused the most controversy and disagreement among the respondents. And here are the tactics that people usually follow.

• The tactic of doubling the response time: they answer you in five minutes, you wait ten. In this way, you will always be in a better position because you will seem busier and less available than your interlocutor.
• Some people wait a few minutes to show that there is something more important in their life than a phone.
• Some respondents believe that it is better to double the response time, but sometimes you can answer quickly, there is nothing to worry about (as, indeed, in too long a response).
• Some people claim that they wait exactly 1.25 of the response time.
• Others argue that it is enough to wait three minutes.
• There were those who were already fed up with such games, so they responded immediately as soon as they saw the message. They find that their responses without feigned anticipation seem more lively and confident.

But do these tactics really work? And why do so many people follow them? Let's see if these strategies correlate with real psychological research.

Reply as reward

AT last years Behavioral scientists have studied why waiting tactics have such a powerful effect on people.

You will appear less attractive if you reply to messages immediately.

Psychologists have done hundreds of studies in which they different conditions rewarded animals. One of the most interesting findings is the “indeterminate reward”, that is, the situation when an animal, pressing a lever, cannot predict whether it will receive a reward. It turned out that uncertainty greatly increases the interest of the animal in receiving a reward: the level of dopamine rises, so that, one might say, it gets high from this sensation.

In lab animals that receive a reward each time the lever is pressed, interest eventually wanes. After all, they know that as soon as they want a reward, they will receive it.

The same principle applies in relationships: if you are a guy or a girl who responds to messages without delay, you begin to be taken for granted. As a result, you lower your value as a reward. This means that the other person will not feel a strong need to respond to the message. Or, as in the case of laboratory animals, the need to push a lever.

What do texting and gambling have in common?

Messaging is an environment in which our mind begins to work in a specific way. Before everyone had cell phones, people always waited some time (several hours or days) before calling back, but in such a way that the other person did not feel anxious. Correspondence taught us to get faster responses. According to surveys, this figure varies from person to person in the range from 10 minutes to one hour.

Natasha Schüll, an anthropologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (USA), studies gambling addiction, in particular, what happens to the minds and bodies of people who are addicted to slot machines. Unlike cards, horse races, or the weekly lottery, which make players wait (for their turn, when the horses finish, the start of the weekly draw), slot machines allow you to play gambling without delay, as the player promptly receives information.

You are used to expecting instant results, so you start to lose patience with any slightest delay. When you text someone you like but don't know well enough yet, it's very similar to slot machine. There is also a lot of uncertainty, anticipation, anxiety. You are set to receive a message. You want it, you need it right now. But if you don't get a quick response, it will throw you off track.

Natasha Shul

Text messages are different from the messages people left on answering machines before the advent of smartphones. A message on an answering machine can be compared to a purchase lottery ticket. You know in advance that you have to wait until you know winning numbers. You don't expect to be called back immediately. You can even enjoy this feeling of uncertainty because you know in advance that you will have to wait a few days. But in the case of text messages, if you don't get a response after 15 minutes, then you start going crazy.

How to appear more attractive in the eyes of another person

The psychological principles associated with waiting can be a very useful strategy for a single person who wants to appear more attractive.

For example, let's say you are a man who met three women at a bar. The next day you write to them. Two respond quickly enough, and the third does not respond at all. The first two women showed interest in you, and your brain, having received the answer, calmed down. But the third woman, without answering, created uncertainty, and your brain begins to look for an explanation for her act. You don't lose interest: “Why isn't she answering? What is wrong with me? Maybe I did something wrong? This uncertainty, social psychologists have found, can lead to strong romantic attraction.

A team of scientists - Erin Whitchurch, Timothy Wilson and Daniel Gilbert - conducted a study in which women were shown profiles different men on the social network Facebook, who, in turn, told what they think about their profiles.

• One group of women was shown the profiles of men who rated the profiles of the subjects from this group as the best.
• The second group was told that they were shown profiles of men who rated their accounts as average.
• The third group was shown profiles of men who could not decide whether they liked these women or not.

Women were expected to give preference to men who rated them as the best over the average (by the principle of reciprocity - we like people who love us). However, women were more likely to prefer men from the undecided group. Later, they also reported that they thought more about men who were undecided in the assessment.

When you think a lot about a person, their image is firmly established in your head, which, ultimately, can lead to attraction.

Another idea from social psychology that concerns our expectation games is the principle of scarcity. Usually we perceive something as more desirable when it seems to us beyond our reach. So when you rarely get messages from someone, in effect, that person is artificially creating scarcity and presenting themselves in a better light.

Don't take it personally

You wrote to a person and invited him on a date, but there was no reaction from him. What to do in such a situation? Certainly do not sprinkle ashes on your head and think what you said or did wrong. Remember that sometimes it's not about you, it's about other factors that come into play. There may be something going on in a person's life that you have no idea about, but this can affect his desire to start a relationship.