Editorial site collected best phrases geniuses:
1. There were only three rehearsals to shame.
2. Look with one eye at the party, and with two at me!
3. You play all this so familiarly, as if you personally drank with Prokofiev!
4. I will tell you now what notes are here - you will be very surprised.
5. This is not a symphony orchestra for you, you can’t hide in the crowd here, you have to play clean!
6. You need to play as if you had a little drink and are not in a hurry.
7. Alts, where are you climbing? And it would be nice if something decent climbed, otherwise it was F-sharp!
8. Guys, these are “cuckoo sounds”, and not the approach of enemy aircraft!
9. And if someone played out of tune, the main thing is to have time to look reproachfully at the neighbor.
10. Don't drown in your own talent!
11. Number the bars, otherwise the eyes may move, but the numbers do not!
12. Come home and practice so that your whole family knows how to play it.
13. Women's choir! Sing along with your brains.
14. You should have absorbed this work with the teacher's milk!
15. Mendelssohn must be played without "Mendelsism".
16. Get your manicure off the fretboard!
17. Stop staring at the neckline of the flutist, there are no notes, your part is on the music stand!
18. Well, you have to hate each other so much to play like that!
19. Why weren't they explained to you in childhood how the pipe differs from the pioneer bugle?
20. Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for such a game he would have risen and stuffed your face!
21. If you play the first number like this again, I will kill you all in turn, bury you, serve time, and then recruit a new orchestra!
22. Are you not afraid to go to the second branch? Say thank you that intellectuals go to the conservatory. Otherwise, the proletarians would have risen from their seats and beat all of you in the face for such a game!
23. Do not torment the harp like that and confuse it with a drunken husband!
24. I know that you all hate me. Now think about how I should treat you?
25. I have no place with you in the same music!
26. Second trombone, I want to wish you that they play like this at your funeral!
27. Try to blow from yourself! I have the impression that you are still in music school did not explain the direction of air flow in the mouthpiece!
28. If it were my will, I would use this stick so that you would have renewed air permeability in the body!
29. I promise you employment in the underground passage, and I personally agree with the cops and bandits not to touch you. But I do not vouch for passers-by.
30. Instead of a saxophone, you would have a Druzhba chainsaw in your hands. The sound is the same, but more money!
31. You are very beautiful, Strong arms. Put down the instrument and strangle yourself with them, don't mock the music!
32. Come home, give my condolences to your wife. How can you sleep with such an unrhythmic person?
33. I stop all ceremonies and from today I will begin to teach you to love, if not me, then at least music!
Only three rehearsals left to shame!
The bassoons have not yet been taken into the mouth, but the trombones have already finished!
I say pipes! And they, look, embrace, kiss.
Shostakovich has many notes, and they change all the time.
We all know what "rr" is - it's tenderness taken to the limit,
like your child...
What does not coincide with the text of the overture - see for yourself with your fingers.
A note under a dot means that you need to do something with it.
I will tell you now what notes are here - you will be very surprised.
There the devil knows what is written in the score! The copyist is a terrible shit man.
This is not a symphony orchestra for you, you can’t hide in the crowd here, you have to
play clean!
Play not what I demand, but what is written in the notes.
Gypsy fun is overshadowed by an impossible passage of trombones.
It is necessary to play as if you had a little drink and are not in a hurry.
Pretend that you are musicians, and not just assholes with pieces of iron.
In decent orchestras, they don't stare at the conductor!
"On eight" - the same pace, only 2 times faster!
Play airy like a flute in the bushes.
Alts, where are you going? And it would be nice if something decent climbed, otherwise it was F-sharp!
Guys, these are "cuckoo sounds", and not the approach of enemy aircraft!
All parts are like parties, and the first sopranos are invalids!
And if someone played out of tune, the main thing is to have time to look reproachfully at the neighbor.
Do not drown in your own talent!
I don’t need to spread all these snot with bows here! Wiped the neck and
played dry!
Look with one eye at the party, and with two at me!
Number the bars, otherwise the eyes may shift, but the numbers do not!
At home, come and practice so that your whole family knows how to play it ...
Why do you always try so hard to play as soon as I start
conduct?
Women's choir! Sing along with your brains.
Tenora, why did you take the sound with a bubble?
Play big here!
You should have absorbed this work with the teacher's milk!
Mendelssohn must be played without "Mendelsism".
Alts! Let the moment of your giftedness take effect.
We must take this note very firmly, even if it is false!
Get your manicure off the fretboard!
Move your left hand more strongly so that everyone thinks that you are alive.
They sit, waiting for the game to be put in their mouths...
Your pupils have dilated! Shrink your pupils, play small
pupil, the state of the music depends on the state of your pupil!
Tell me, please, is this how you played now after the conservatory?
Tomorrow I will go there, strangle the rector and demand that your diploma be taken away from you!
Girls, you have fingers on your hand like Schwarzenegger's on his foot!
People who play false should be jailed on the same basis as counterfeiters.
It would be better if you hit the timpani with your head, it would have turned out louder!
Stop staring at the neckline of the flutist, there are no notes, your part is on the music stand!
Trumpeters, although you sit above the trombones, they, unlike you, are men!
So I'll turn my back on you now, and you guess what I wanted to say!
Well, you have to hate each other so much to play like that!
Why didn’t they explain to you in childhood how the pipe differs from the pioneer bugle?
Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for such a game he would have been resurrected and stuffed your face!
And what fool told you that your place is on stage, and not at a construction site?
Fogot, excuse me, what place did you make sounds just now?
For such a solo, I would kiss you, it's a pity you are sitting far away. I'm waiting for you at 10
tomorrow morning in my office.
At me such impression, that at pipes - obstruction. Consult a gynecologist!
If you play the first number like that again, I will kill you all in turn,
I will bury, I will serve, and then I will recruit a new orchestra!
You, my dear, have such an expression on your face, as if, in addition to the cello, you
never held anything between the legs!
Are you afraid to go to the second branch? Say thank you for
intellectuals go to the conservatory. And then the proletarians would get up from their
places and stuffed all of you in the face for such a game!
No need to torment the harp like that and confuse it with a drunken husband!
Play pianissimo like I'm dead!
I know that you all hate me. Now think about how you should
treat ya?
I have no place with you in the same music!
Second trombone, I want to wish you that this is how they play at your funeral!
What kind of New Orleans are you setting up here? What, did you have blacks in your family?
If you think that a symphony orchestra is different from a tavern
only by the fact that there are more labukhs in it, you are very mistaken!
From yourself try to blow! I have the impression that you are still in
The direction of the air flow in the mouthpiece was not explained to the music school!
I'm going to ask you to die for these eight bars, don't even breathe!
If it were my will, I would use this wand so that you
the air permeability in the body has resumed!
Get the crumbs off the music stand, this is not a diner!
I will ask the scribes to write a bigger game for idiots!
I promise you employment in the underground passage, and I will personally arrange
with cops and bandits so that they don't touch you. But I can't vouch for passers-by.
For such a game - they can definitely kill!
Instead of a saxophone, you would like a chainsaw<Дружба>into hands. The sound is the same
more money!
You play so legato that I think you have hiccups!
You have very beautiful, strong hands. Put down the tool and choke
themselves by them, do not mock the music!
Violinists! If it were 1937 now, you would all be shot for sabotage.
Come home, give my condolences to your wife. How can
sleep with such an unrhythmic person?
You play all this so familiarly, as if you personally drank with Prokofiev!
Tell me, are you not ashamed? I'd rather spoil the air than this
great place in adagio!
I'm on next concert instead of a tailcoat I will write you a canvas suit,
you will play like in a fire band, if that's closer to you!
I stop all ceremonies, and from today I will begin to teach you
love, if not me, then at least music!
After each such concert, you should go to church and ask
God of forgiveness. And don't forget to donate to the temple.
It would be a mistake to think that symphony orchestras play ideal people. Conductors symphony orchestras, swearing at clumsy orchestra members, they anneal no worse than army officials. Even better.
Because they do it subtly, gracefully and very intelligently.
Only three rehearsals left to shame!
The bassoons have not yet been taken into the mouth, but the trombones have already finished!
I say pipes! And they, look, embrace, kiss.
Shostakovich has many notes, and they change all the time.
What does not coincide with the text of the overture - see for yourself with your fingers.
A note under a dot means that you need to do something with it.
I will tell you now what notes are here - you will be very surprised.
There the devil knows what is written in the score! The copyist is a terrible shit man.
This is not a symphony orchestra for you, you can’t hide in the crowd here, you have to play cleanly!
Play not what I demand, but what is written in the notes.
Gypsy fun is overshadowed by an impossible passage of trombones.
It is necessary to play as if you had a little drink and are not in a hurry.
Pretend that you are musicians, not just assholes with pieces of iron.
In decent orchestras, they don't stare at the conductor!
"On eight" - the same pace, only 2 times faster!
Play airy like a flute in the bushes.
Alts, where are you going? And it would be nice if something decent climbed, otherwise it was F-sharp!
Guys, these are “cuckoo sounds”, and not the approach of enemy aircraft!
All parts are like parties, and the first sopranos are invalids!
And if someone played out of tune, the main thing is to have time to look reproachfully at the neighbor.
Do not drown in your own talent!
I don’t need to spread all these snot with bows here! Wiped the neck and played dry!
Look with one eye at the party, and with two at me!
Number the bars, otherwise the eyes may shift, but the numbers do not!
At home, come and practice so that your whole family knows how to play it ...
Why do you always try so hard to play as soon as I start conducting?
Women's choir! Sing along with your brains.
You should have absorbed this work with the teacher's milk.
Alts! Let the moment of your giftedness take effect.
We must take this note very firmly, even if it is false!
Get your manicure off the fretboard!
Move your left hand more strongly so that everyone thinks that you are alive.
Your pupils have dilated! Reduce your pupils, play on a small pupil, the state of the music depends on the state of your pupil!
Tell me, please, is this how you played now after the conservatory? Tomorrow I will go there, strangle the rector and demand that your diploma be taken away from you!
Girls, you have fingers on your hand like Schwarzenegger's on his foot!
People who play false should be jailed on the same basis as counterfeiters.
It would be better if you hit the timpani with your head, it would have turned out louder!
Stop staring at the neckline of the flutist, there are no notes, your part is on the music stand!
Trumpeters, although you sit above the trombones, they, unlike you, are men!
So I'll turn my back on you now, and you guess what I wanted to say!
Well, you have to hate each other so much to play like that!
Why didn’t they explain to you in childhood how the pipe differs from the pioneer bugle?
Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for such a game he would have been resurrected and stuffed your face!
And what fool told you that your place is on stage, and not at a construction site?
Bassoon, excuse me, what place did you make sounds now?
For such a solo, I would kiss you, it's a pity you are sitting far away. I'll be waiting for you at 10 am tomorrow in my office.
For some reason, drummers always try to consider themselves the most important in the orchestra! Remember: the chief in the orchestra is the director, the second is me, and you are in the first hundred!
At me such impression, that at pipes - obstruction. Consult a gynecologist!
If you play the first number like that again, I will kill you all in turn, bury you, serve time, and then I will recruit a new orchestra!
You, my dear, have such an expression on your face, as if, except for the cello, you have never held anything between your legs in your life!
Are you afraid to go to the second branch? Say thank you that intellectuals go to the conservatory. Otherwise, the proletarians would have risen from their seats and beat all of you in the face for such a game!
No need to torment the harp like that and confuse it with a drunken husband.
Play pianissimo like I'm dead!
I know that you all hate me. Now think about how I should treat you?
I have no place with you in the same music!
Second trombone, I want to wish you that this is how they play at your funeral!
What kind of New Orleans are you setting up here? What, did you have blacks in your family?
If you think that a symphony orchestra differs from a tavern only in that it has more labukhs, you are greatly mistaken!
From yourself try to blow! I have the impression that the direction of air flow in the mouthpiece has not been explained to you yet in music school!
I'm going to ask you to die for these eight bars, don't even breathe!
If it were my will, I would use this wand so that you would have renewed air permeability in the body!
I will ask the scribes to write a bigger game for idiots!
I promise you employment in the underground passage, and I will personally agree with the cops and bandits so that they do not touch you. But I can't vouch for passers-by.
Instead of a saxophone, you would have a Druzhba chainsaw in your hands. The sound is the same, but more money!
You have very beautiful, strong hands. Put down the instrument and strangle yourself with them, don't mock the music!
Come home, give my condolences to your wife. How can you sleep with such an unrhythmic person?
You play all this so familiarly, as if you personally drank with Prokofiev!
Tell me, are you not ashamed? It would be better if you spoiled the air than this beautiful place in the adagio!
I stop all ceremonies, and from today I will begin to teach you to love, if not me, then at least music!
After each such concert, you should go to church and ask God for forgiveness. And don't forget to donate to the temple.
Only three rehearsals left to shame!
After each such concert, you should go to church and ask God for forgiveness. And don't forget to donate to the temple.
I say pipes! And they, look, hugging, kissing.
A note under a dot means that you need to do something with it.
I will tell you now what notes are here - you will be very surprised.
There the devil knows what is written in the score! The copyist is a terrible shit man.
This is not a symphony orchestra for you, you can’t hide in the crowd here, you have to play cleanly!
Play not what I demand, but what is written in the notes.
Gypsy fun is overshadowed by an impossible passage of trombones.
It is necessary to play as if you had a little drink and are not in a hurry.
Pretend that you are musicians, not just assholes with pieces of iron.
In decent orchestras, they don't stare at the conductor!
"Eight" - the same pace, only 2 times faster!
Play airy like a flute in the bushes.
Alts, where are you going? And it would be nice if something decent climbed, otherwise it was F-sharp!
Guys, these are “cuckoo sounds”, and not the approach of enemy aircraft!
All parts are like parties, and the first sopranos are invalids!
And if someone played out of tune, the main thing is to have time to look reproachfully at the neighbor.
Do not drown in your own talent!
I don’t need to spread all these snot with bows here! Wiped the neck and played dry!
Look with one eye at the party, and with two at me!
Number the bars, otherwise the eyes may shift, but the numbers do not!
Come home and practice so that your whole family knows how to play it ...
Why do you always try so hard to play as soon as I start conducting?
Women's choir! Sing along with your brains.
You should have absorbed this work with the teacher's milk!
Mendelssohn must be played without "Mendelsism".
Alts! Let the moment of your giftedness take effect.
We must take this note very firmly, even if it is false!
Get your manicure off the fretboard!
Move your left hand more strongly so that everyone thinks that you are alive.
Tell me, please, is this how you played now after the conservatory? Tomorrow I will go there, strangle the rector and demand that your diploma be taken away from you!
Girls, you have fingers on your hand like Schwarzenegger's on his foot!
People who play false should be jailed on the same basis as counterfeiters.
It would be better if you hit the timpani with your head, it would have turned out louder!
Stop staring at the neckline of the flutist, there are no notes, your part is on the music stand!
Trumpeters, although you sit above the trombones, they, unlike you, are men!
So I'll turn my back on you now, and you guess what I wanted to say!
Well, you have to hate each other so much to play like that!
Why didn’t they explain to you in childhood how the pipe differs from the pioneer bugle?
Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for such a game he would have been resurrected and stuffed your face!
And what fool told you that your place is on stage, and not at a construction site?
For such a solo, I would kiss you, it's a pity you are sitting far away. I'll be waiting for you at 10 am tomorrow in my office.
For some reason, drummers always try to consider themselves the most important in the orchestra! Remember: the chief in the orchestra is the director, the second is me, and you are in the first hundred!
I have the impression that the pipes have an obstruction. Consult a gynecologist!
If you play the first number like that again, I will kill you all in turn, bury you, serve time, and then I will recruit a new orchestra!
You, my dear, have such an expression on your face, as if, except for the cello, you have never held anything between your legs in your life!
Are you afraid to go to the second branch? Say thank you that intellectuals go to the conservatory. Otherwise, the proletarians would have risen from their seats and beat all of you in the face for such a game!
No need to torment the harp like that and confuse it with a drunken husband!
Play pianissimo like I'm dead!
I know that you all hate me. Now think about how I should treat you?
I have no place with you in the same music!
Second trombone, I want to wish you that this is how they play at your funeral!
What kind of New Orleans are you setting up here? What, did you have blacks in your family?
If you think that a symphony orchestra differs from a tavern only in that it has more labukhs, you are greatly mistaken!
From yourself try to blow! I have the impression that the direction of air flow in the mouthpiece has not been explained to you yet in music school!
I'm going to ask you to die for these eight bars, don't even breathe!
If it were my will, I would use this wand so that you would have renewed air permeability in the body!
I will ask the scribes to write a bigger game for idiots!
I promise you employment in the underground passage, and I will personally agree with the cops and bandits so that they do not touch you. But I can't vouch for passers-by.
Instead of a saxophone, you would have a Druzhba chainsaw in your hands. The sound is the same, but more money!
You have very beautiful, strong hands. Put down the instrument and strangle yourself with them, don't mock the music!
Come home, give my condolences to your wife. How can you sleep with such an unrhythmic person?
You play all this so familiarly, as if you personally drank with Prokofiev!
Tell me, are you not ashamed? It would be better if you spoiled the air than this beautiful place in the adagio!
I stop all ceremonies and from today I will begin to teach you to love, if not me, then at least music!
After each such concert, you should go to church and ask God for forgiveness. And don't forget to donate to the temple
Sometimes conductors give out phrases no worse than army ranks.
Only three rehearsals left to shame!
The bassoons have not yet been taken into the mouth, but the trombones have already finished!
I say pipes! And they, look, embrace, kiss.
Shostakovich has many notes, and they change all the time.
What does not coincide with the text of the overture - see for yourself with your fingers.
A note under a dot means that you need to do something with it.
I will tell you now what notes are here - you will be very surprised.
There the devil knows what is written in the score! The copyist is a terrible shit man.
This is not a symphony orchestra for you, you can’t hide in the crowd here, you have to play cleanly!
Play not what I demand, but what is written in the notes.
Gypsy fun is overshadowed by an impossible passage of trombones.
It is necessary to play as if you had a little drink and are not in a hurry.
Pretend that you are musicians, not just assholes with pieces of iron.
In decent orchestras, they don't stare at the conductor!
"On eight" - the same pace, only 2 times faster!
Play airy like a flute in the bushes.
Alts, where are you going? And it would be nice if something decent climbed, otherwise it was F-sharp!
Guys, these are “cuckoo sounds”, and not the approach of enemy aircraft!
All parts are like parties, and the first sopranos are invalids!
And if someone played out of tune, the main thing is to have time to look reproachfully at the neighbor.
Do not drown in your own talent!
I don’t need to spread all these snot with bows here! Wiped the neck and played dry!
Look with one eye at the party, and with two at me! vNumber the bars, otherwise the eyes may move, but the numbers do not!
Come home and practice so that your whole family knows how to play it ...
Why do you always try so hard to play as soon as I start conducting?
Women's choir! Sing along with your brains.
You should have absorbed this work with the teacher's milk.
Alts! Let the moment of your giftedness take effect.
We must take this note very firmly, even if it is false!
Get your manicure off the fretboard!
Move your left hand more strongly so that everyone thinks that you are alive.
Your pupils have dilated! Reduce your pupils, play on a small pupil, the state of the music depends on the state of your pupil!
Tell me, please, is this how you played now after the conservatory? Tomorrow I will go there, strangle the rector and demand that your diploma be taken away from you!
Girls, you have fingers on your hand like Schwarzenegger's on his foot! People who play false should be jailed on the same basis as counterfeiters.
It would be better if you hit the timpani with your head, it would have turned out louder!
Stop staring at the neckline of the flutist, there are no notes, your part is on the music stand!
Trumpeters, although you sit above the trombones, they, unlike you, are men!
So I'll turn my back on you now, and you guess what I wanted to say!
Well, you have to hate each other so much to play like that! vWhy didn’t they explain to you in childhood how the pipe differs from the pioneer bugle?
Shostakovich was not a boxer, but for such a game he would have been resurrected and stuffed your face!
And what fool told you that your place is on stage, and not at a construction site?
Bassoon, excuse me, what place did you make sounds now?
For such a solo, I would kiss you, it's a pity you are sitting far away. I'll be waiting for you at 10 am tomorrow in my office.
For some reason, drummers always try to consider themselves the most important in the orchestra!
Remember: the chief in the orchestra is the director, the second is me, and you are in the first hundred!
At me such impression, that at pipes - obstruction. Consult a gynecologist!
If you play the first number like that again, I will kill you all in turn, bury you, serve time, and then I will recruit a new orchestra!
You, my dear, have such an expression on your face, as if, except for the cello, you have never held anything between your legs in your life!
Are you afraid to go to the second branch? Say thank you that intellectuals go to the conservatory. Otherwise, the proletarians would have risen from their seats and beat all of you in the face for such a game!
No need to torment the harp like that and confuse it with a drunken husband.
Play pianissimo like I'm dead!
I know that you all hate me. Now think about how I should treat you?
I have no place with you in the same music!
Second trombone, I want to wish you that this is how they play at your funeral!
What kind of New Orleans are you setting up here? What, did you have blacks in your family?
If you think that a symphony orchestra differs from a tavern only in that it has more labukhs, you are greatly mistaken!
From yourself try to blow! I have the impression that the direction of air flow in the mouthpiece has not been explained to you yet in music school!
I'm going to ask you to die for these eight bars, don't even breathe!
If it were my will, I would use this wand so that you would have renewed air permeability in the body!
I will ask the scribes to write a bigger game for idiots!
I promise you employment in the underground passage, and I will personally agree with the cops and bandits so that they do not touch you. But I can't vouch for passers-by.
Instead of a saxophone, you would have a Druzhba chainsaw in your hands. The sound is the same, but more money!
You have very beautiful, strong hands. Put down the instrument and strangle yourself with them, don't mock the music!
Come home, give my condolences to your wife. How can you sleep with such a rhythmic person?
You play all this so familiarly, as if you personally drank with Prokofiev!
Tell me, are you not ashamed? It would be better if you spoiled the air than this beautiful place in the adagio!
I stop all ceremonies, and from today I will begin to teach you to love, if not me, then at least music!
After each such concert, you should go to church and ask God for forgiveness. And don't forget to donate to the temple.
