There is a common phrase - "ignorance is one of oldest species emotional abuse." I think that one way or another, any of us resort to ignoring. Sometimes it is a method of psychological protection from information or actions unpleasant to us, a way of protection against aggression, sometimes it is a way of flirting.
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Previously, I very often used ignore, the only harmless way of self-defense that seemed to me. For example, I had a very jealous first husband, a scandal could even happen because a waiter smiled at me in a cafe (although he scandalized at home, away from the public). Instead of actively defending myself and expressing my protest, I silently listened to the storm of his emotions with a supposedly indifferent look. It seemed to me to defend myself beneath my dignity, that is, I believed that if I started to speak out, it would be taken as an excuse - and I am above it. But it turned out the opposite - he was furious that I did not try to dissuade him of his suspicions, there were more claims, jealousy grew - scandals became more frequent. At one fine moment, he got into my very bad mood and that's when it broke through me.
First, a mug flew into him (my metal thermal mug for hiking), this made him shut up, and then in a calm tone I began to tell how and with whom I was cheating on him, with such dirty details, then she moved on to the question of why, I was cheating on him, after which she suggested a divorce. And when the frustrated and lost husband, turning pale, said: “I don’t believe you, you couldn’t,” I asked: “If you don’t want to believe that I’m cheating on you, then why are you giving me these scandals and checks? Don’t you think Are you saying that in the end I can, to spite you for frayed nerves, go all out, or even easier - file for divorce, then all your experiences will definitely "don't care" for me?
For a while, this conversation helped stop a series of endless scandals based on jealousy, from it it turned out that he was really hurt by the fact that I ignored his feelings and doubts. It turned out that the difference of 10 years frightened him greatly, moreover, by that moment he perfectly began to realize that on my part there was no love for him, but there was love. Then I felt in my own skin how painful it was for him to see my ostentatious indifference.
Now, I have come to this conclusion - I can ignore strangers, but I have no right to my own. If a person is at least a little dear or pleasant to me, I will try to solve the problem with him, explain to him what he is wrong, but I will not humiliate him or force him to delve into himself, and very often such a conversation, although it can be painful, gives very good results . Yes, it takes courage and a certain nobility to make a decision.
In general, in my opinion, ignoring a problem or a person is a sign of weakness and laziness - "I'm too lazy (rather scared) to look for possible way conflict resolution so "I will hide my head in the sand." Of course, there are cases when ignoring is indispensable - an example is energy vampirism, when a person clings to you only because he needs your negative emotions and he enjoys the conflict - then all arguments will be in vain, but again without a clearly defined position and conversation you do not recognize the vampire man or he is simply in a somewhat unbalanced state and does not know how to express his doubts and fears.
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And how often do you resort to ignoring and ignoring you, and how did you feel?
He tore off all the cockroach's legs, said "run!" - does not run. Conclusion: without paws, a cockroach does not hear. (C)
Let everyone have notebooks, banknotes, banknotes, work, worries, muddied, offsets, evening doses, but I have you and plus you, still you, still you, still you, still you, still you, still you ... ( With)
It’s always like this… you save up, you save up for a Lamborghini and an iPhone, and then bam! I couldn’t resist and bought myself a Coca Cola and Snickers ... (c)
I want to be a guy ... you don’t need to shave your legs, drink, smoke, you don’t need to shave your legs (c)
What fell? - My clothes . - And why with such a roar? - And I didn’t have time to get out of it. (C)
A real friend is one who is sincerely glad to see you beautiful (c)
If you are waiting for a very important call, but they don’t call you, then you just have to paint your nails ... (c)
"We dress in" snow queen"! And you?" AND WE DRESS IN THE CORRIDOR (c)
My sun, look at me.
My palm turned into a fist. (c)
If you want change, go to school. there are changes every 45 minutes .. (c)
In the 60s of the last century and now the phrase "a boy glued a model in a club" is perceived differently (c)
2-3 times a year there is such a state when you just want to close up and live completely alone, without seeing anyone. friends, relationships, nothing.
I don't like it when it starts with "what happened?" or "what's going on with you?". I'm fine, I'm just tired, I need a recharge. (C)
Sometimes the closest person is not the one you pray to as an idol, but the one who just knows how many spoons of sugar to put in your cup of tea (c)
So funny.. We are silent. No SMS. No calls. We are Online by different sides monitor ... We sort through each other's photos in albums ... I don’t know about you .. You don’t know what is happening in my life ... And only the songs in the playlist will tell about everything without words ... This is such a game. No rules. We invent them ourselves. And between the lines of this game, I see that you miss me too .. (c)
Those who do not understand your silence will probably not understand your words either ... (c)
Cry, snotty monster. (c)
She was a girl - she blushed at the word "sex" .. and now only thoughts are "sex, sex, sex !!" (c)
Sometimes I feel unbearably sad, but in general, life goes on as usual. (C)
How can you not listen to your inner voice when he says every morning: "Sleep uni, sleep ....".))) (c)
She: Can I go to the club? He laughed, hugged her and whispered: I'll break your jaw. (C)
I don't know how to say goodbye properly, so get off the pig. (c)
Who is he to you? - in fact, no one ... just the meaning of life ... no more. (c)
It's so strange to see people unfriend you even though they broke the bed together a week ago (c)
Men! Let's you clean, cook, wash, and we want you all the time? .. (c)
Petya has 12 apples, Lyosha has 8 apples, and Vasya has salt in his ass. Who ran last from the collective farm garden? (C)
If a girl whispers to you during sex "I'm coming .." Then shout in her ear "NOT IN ME !!! (c)
Emotional abuse refers to any behavior that has an overwhelming effect on the psyche of another person or group of people. It includes verbal and other forms of abuse designed to undermine the victim's self-respect and independence. Anyone can be a victim of emotional abuse, but women and children are the most common victims. With prolonged emotional pressure, a person loses self-confidence, his self-esteem and self-esteem decreases.
Most often, emotional abuse is associated with abusive attitudes and child abuse. This is always preceded or accompanied by physical violence. emotional abuse and cruel treatment with children can negatively affect their future social and psychological behavior.
Types of emotional abuse
All types of emotional abuse are directly related to dominance over their victim and can take the following forms:
- Rejection. The victim is not noticed, by all means they emphasize his uselessness and worthlessness, they blame him for all the problems, they drive him away. If a child becomes a victim, they do not hug or kiss him. Peers call names, treat differently than other children.
- Ignoring. If the emotional needs of a person are not satisfied, he is unable to listen, understand and adequately respond to the needs of other people and simply ignores them. Parents' indifference to their children, lack of control on their part can have detrimental consequences.
- Insulation. The physical and emotional restriction of the victim's freedom of action is often associated with physical violence. For example, a child is not allowed to spend free time with peers or watch TV. Or because of pathological jealousy, the husband forbids the woman to dress beautifully, do makeup, and communicate with her friends.
- Blackmail. Through intimidation and threats, the victim is encouraged to take some action or, conversely, inaction. You can threaten with physical violence, the destruction of something, or suicide.
- Humiliation. It can be insults, ridicule appearance or abilities, often grossly underestimated. Thus, by suppressing the personality of a person, the tyrant seeks to achieve complete power.
- Unpredictable behavior. Emotional outbursts, sudden mood swings, inconsistent behavior deprive the victim of a sense of stability and calmness.
Symptoms of emotional abuse
Unlike physical abuse, the effects of emotional abuse on mental health are long-term. However, the victim of emotional abuse is difficult to identify at a glance. Knowing the symptoms and emotional signs of physical and psychological pressure will help stop it in time. These signs may be:
Depression;
Pessimism;
social isolation;
Low self-esteem;
Anxiety;
fearfulness;
Guilt;
Feeling of shame;
Nervousness;
Frequent mood swings;
Mistrust;
Abuse of psychotropic drugs;
Aggressive behavior;
Suicide attempts.
What drives the emotional terrorist
Often the habit of taking out evil on others is insecure people who have a bouquet of complexes. Temporary outbreaks of violence can occur if a person himself is stressed for one of the following reasons:
Financial difficulties. Experiencing financial problems, a person becomes a source of emotional stress, he is seized by a feeling of inferiority and guilt towards loved ones;
Problems in personal relationships. Misunderstanding between partners, sexual dissatisfaction, disagreements in the family;
Disease. Serious disease, own or family members, carries an additional emotional burden;
Alcohol addiction. Drugs and alcohol deprive a person of control over emotions.
Consequences of emotional abuse
Emotional abuse is far more dangerous than physical abuse. Instead of injuries and bruises, it leaves wounds in the soul that do not heal for years and can cause psychomatic illnesses.
The end result of emotional abuse is that the victim becomes morbidly dependent on their tyrant and fears being alone. As a consequence, he continues to be in an abusive situation. This only exacerbates the situation and provokes further violence. If emotional abuse is left unaddressed, it can worsen symptoms and lead to serious emotional and psychological distress.
The best way to prevent emotional abuse is to be personally aware and aware of your rights and responsibilities. Remember that there is no need to be in a psychological trap and be afraid to change the relationship model, especially with loved ones.
Warning: This article is written for informational purposes and should not be considered a substitute for professional medical advice.
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