Human relationships are one of the most fascinating and limitless topics of study, and love experiences are of the greatest interest. Where does attraction come from in men and women, why do people fall in love with each other? Is it worth blaming the instinct of reproduction for everything, or is it impossible to explain close relationships with animal prerequisites alone?
Why do people fall in love with each other?
- Chemistry. During love, the body produces hormones that give a feeling. It is only natural that the body will try to find a way to get its dose of joy again.
- similarity. Men, answering the question of why they fall in love with a particular type of women, often admit that the point is the presence of traits that their mother possessed. The same applies to the fair sex, unconsciously girls look for the recognizable qualities of their father in guys.
- Circumstances. Often, falling in love overtakes after many years of friendship, and sometimes the awakening of warm feelings contributes to the joint passage through problem situations or just a strong fright.
- Correspondence. Researchers have found that subconsciously we choose partners for ourselves, who are located approximately on the same level with us: intellectual, material, social.
- Instinct. Many try to explain why people fall in love with just this point. There is some truth in this, since the probability of successfully leaving offspring in a state of love is higher for obvious reasons.
- General plans. If two people see a joint future, then feelings are likely to appear immediately.
- Talent. Stories about falling in love with an actor or singer have set the teeth on edge for many, but this also happens to those who do not flicker on the screens. A perfectly honed skill in any field can become a reason for love.
- Low self-esteem. Having a partner hints at success in at least some part of life, so insecure people try to fall in love no matter what. Often these are far-fetched, unrequited, or directed at an absolutely inappropriate person.
Probably, tireless researchers will soon discover many more reasons for tender feelings, but we can only continue to fall in love, which is also not bad.
... ”, - wrote Valery Okhlupin (it was he, although on the net the poem is often attributed to A.S. Pushkin). And he was right. Sometimes we really like those with whom we cannot be together. With whom we want to be, but cannot be for one reason or another. Who doesn't suit us at all. Well, the list goes on. And all this is perceived almost as a disease for which there is no cure.
The inaccessible attracts, so it would seem that the situation is standard. However, people who constantly fall in love with someone who is not suitable periodically think: “What is wrong with me?”. Calm, just calm. This behavioral pattern, like many others, can be explained by science.
Curiosity. The information gap theory, created by George Loewenstein, an economist by training and a major contributor to psychology, explains, among other things, how "wrong love" occurs. It could be that when we can't get something, we let curiosity get the best of us. And then the desire for an object or a person turns out to be too strong, so that it is simply impossible to explain it rationally.
Chase. People tend to be more satisfied with something they have been striving for for a particularly long time. Same story with love. As Elite Daily writes, our brain releases where when we are chasing something we really want, and the longer this pursuit, the more “pleasure hormone” we get. That's why sometimes we like people so much who don't like us (or like us, but).
Ego. Another popular reason why we continue to persecute people who don't care is self-esteem. Because rejection will be a huge blow to our ego, no matter how mild and diplomatic it may be. So when someone tells us "no", we are ready to do everything to change it to "yes", and as soon as possible.
Inaccessibility. The more inaccessible a person seems, the more we want to be with him. The theory, hundreds of times tested in practice, has a completely scientific explanation. Research shows that people who are in high social demand, as a rule, seem to us more valuable (smart, attractive, purposeful - underline). Is this person still busy? Then this value, psychologists say, can be safely multiplied by two.
Game element. In the same way that children instantly want to get what their parents forbid them to touch, so we are attracted to people whom we cannot get. The reasons can be very different - a stamp in the passport, polar views on life, or a banal lack of sympathy for one of the parties. However, we literally become obsessed when we find out that we cannot get “this particular person” right now, and therefore we spend a lot of time and effort trying to please someone. Moreover, quite often at the end of the game, the winner discovers with horror that he no longer needs the main prize.
Unpredictability. In the case of falling in love, the situation can develop in two ways: either we get this person, or, which is logical, we don’t. We do not know what the result will be - and this is especially attractive to us. According to a study by Gregory Burns, the human brain responds to unpredictability the same way it does to pleasure. Can you substitute chocolate? The question is rhetorical (and so far, unfortunately, unexplored).
Why do people fall in love? First of all, falling in love causes the physical attraction of many opposite people. They strive to be together for a long time and dream of continuing their kind. However, people can feel sympathy for unfamiliar personalities. They cannot explain this feeling. Falling in love can also occur over a long distance. Scientists have done a lot of research, and have established certain conclusions for themselves. A wonderful feeling of falling in love can arise for certain reasons. They should be dealt with in detail.
- Hormone production
- Psychological love
- sexual attraction
- social phenomenon
Hormone production
Every person in love becomes. He instantly has a sparkle in his eyes, and a smile glows with happiness. His thoughts are immersed in the object of his adoration. During this period, it is difficult for him to spoil the mood. This condition is explained by the huge presence of hormones that have a positive effect on the state of falling in love. They are able to create extraordinary euphoria inside everyone. The main hormone of falling in love is dopamine. He is responsible for the pleasure that people experience at the moment of falling in love.
Basically, it is produced in large quantities. It has a strong influence on the behavior of a couple in love. It is on its quantity that the excellent internal state of people depends. For a certain period of time, it has the ability to shrink. However, with a long relationship, its production remains at an average level. The hormone oxytocin has a beneficial effect on couples in love. It contains a lot of motherly love and care. It is he who pushes people to regular kisses and tenderness. The hormone is responsible for maternal love. It is especially found in abundance in expectant mothers. In men, the hormone is secreted in enormous quantities and is an analgesic.
Psychological love
From the point of view of psychology, love is an important element in the relationship of any couple. It is difficult to manipulate your psychological emotions and create a romantic feeling in your head. There are special psychological factors that can push a person to fall in love. The most important thing is the feeling of inner spiritual kinship. Over time, such a relationship develops into a happy and wonderful marriage. Lovers feel the same thoughts and interests.
This feature makes them fall in love at first sight. Psychologists say that love relationships usually arise in some cases. These include compassion for a loved one and a feeling of sublime passion. A selfless romance usually springs from a foundation of trust, love, and respect. Passion is based on a sharp sexual attraction and instant affection of two partners. Any relationship is always based on these psychological elements.
sexual attraction
Attraction on a sexual level is a rapid desire to get closer to your partner. Especially this feeling occurs during a period of strong love. In men, it is always developed in a wider format. They can see unusual episodes with elements of eroticism in a dream. With erotic attraction, the partner strives for gentle caresses and touches. Sexual attraction is characterized by the desire to have sexual intercourse with one's partner. In such manifestations, the main role is played by psychological factors and emotional state of mind. The result of this aspect is the complete satisfaction of both partners at the sexual level. A feeling arises suddenly and is controlled by the inner subconscious.
A modern person is usually busy at work with serious matters or certain family concerns. However, sexuality throughout the day does not decrease. The intimate sphere of life is an important source of human relationships. It brings joy to people and gives them a new flow of vitality. markedly different from the feeling of falling in love. However, it is considered the main element in a love relationship. Sexual attraction depends on numerous factors. These include the climate of residence and certain characteristics of a person. Scientists have proven that short and thin people have a high sex drive.
social phenomenon
People are currently living in the modern world. It contains clear laws that are based on all stages of human relationships. Society rewards people to live fulfilling family lives. They jointly solve everyday issues and participate in the upbringing of their children. Teenagers who have reached puberty strive to create a wonderful relationship with their partner. They dream of finding the perfect person for life.
Modern society, based on important life situations and media alerts, attracts children to serious relationships in the future. As a result, teenagers feel a state of love over time. The social society opens up a huge number of opportunities for children. It contributes to their interaction in future relationships. This method allows them to easily fall in love with other people in the future. Such views on things are ways to please every person. Today, a wonderful family life has a positive impact on many people. As a result, a person sincerely falls in love with the opposite sex.
Many children are deprived of parental attention and love. Adults are not able to spend proper time for their child. The reason is an overloaded work schedule and severe fatigue throughout the day. In this situation, the ideal option for children is the search for a person for life. He will replace their lack of love in childhood. Usually they devote the bulk of their love to romantic feelings. Such social phenomena play a huge role in the period of falling in love with many people.
Surely every person, one way or another, asked himself the question of why people fall in love? As soon as the child reaches adolescence and he has the first, albeit ridiculous, but romantic feelings, he wonders why he has such strange and unusual sensations. In this article, we will understand why people fall in love, namely, the reasons and factors for the appearance of this feeling.
What are the reasons for falling in love
Psychologists have found quite a few reasons why this feeling may arise. But, having systematized and collected the most common ones, we can name more than ten rather strange reasons that explain why people fall in love. These reasons are difficult to explain, since our feelings arise at a subconscious level and thanks, no matter how crude it may sound, to the instincts inherent in nature.
We are almost always absolutely sure that we love our soul mate, but psychologists say that our brain can deceive us or set traps for us. For example, a completely random factor can become a catalyst for falling in love. So, perhaps, it is worth coming to terms with the bugs of our brain and trying to figure out why we fall in love with a certain person.
Attractions, hot drinks and neighbors
Why do people fall in love? Psychology in the person of Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron in 1974 explained the connection between sexual attractiveness and anxiety. Psychologists have argued that such a connection exists. And proof of this is the fact that men who decide to meet girls in an amusement park or, for example, after overcoming severe stress, fall in love with them much more often than when they meet in a neutral emotional state.
Did you know that the reason why people fall in love can be a hot drink? While doing research at Yale, John Bargh showed that it is much easier for people to win over by offering them hot drinks. It is for this reason that girls often like bartenders, and men like waitresses.
Between neighbors, by the way, love can also arise. Psychologists from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have proven that with frequent meetings and close living next to each other, people are more likely to fall in love with their neighbors. As they say, life can bring together.
Speed, dogs and beautiful houses
When asked why people fall in love, the answer can give a rather strange fact - you just walk at the same speed. Researchers from the University of Illinois have proven that in order to make a woman fall in love with him, a man should adapt to her and walk so that she is not in a hurry and does not catch up with him, and that they walk approximately on an equal footing. It is even better if the walking style is similar and the man and woman walk with the same foot.
How many stories exist when dog owners first see each other often in parks, and then they develop a romantic relationship. Surprisingly, dogs also act as catalysts for falling in love. According to research at the University of Michigan, psychologists say that women prefer men who have a dog.
Researchers from Cardiff University have proven that a beautiful home can also play a key role in trying to make a person fall in love with you. A beautiful and well-maintained house often puts its owner in a better light than just a good car, because women tend to create the perfect image of their boyfriend if they see where he lives.
Smiles, beard, red color and guitar
Now let's look at the question of why people fall in love at first sight with smiling people. Psychologists from Switzerland have proven that people who smile a lot are more likely to become objects of someone's desires.
A beard can be a bonus for men, and red clothes for women. Australian psychologists during their study found out that during the period of ovulation, women are more likely to pay attention to bearded men. Men, in turn, according to the results of a study in Slovakia, distinguish girls in red from the crowd.
French psychologists argue that with the ability to play any musical instrument, men receive much more attention from persons of the opposite sex than those who do not know how.
Why do we cling to someone and cling to someone
Do you want to know the answer to a question such as why we fall in love with this particular person? Psychologists Ori and Ron Brafman prove that there are only five factors that can make us fall in love with someone. These are openness, resonance, closeness, similarity and external circumstances. Let's take a closer look at this.
If you are open to a person and show that you want to communicate with him, he, in almost any case, will reciprocate. But here you need to know the measure - having dumped all our secrets, secrets and bad sides at the very first meeting, we risk instilling disgust in a person, and not sympathy. Smile, joke, do not hide your emotions - this will show your interlocutor that you are the same person as he is, that you also have flaws and emotions. The faster you step over the barrier of misunderstanding and tightness, the more chances you will have to hook a specific person. It usually takes several weeks or months to open up to strangers. But if you can talk or talk a person, then this means that there is already a spark between you.
As mentioned above, neighbors most often fall in love with each other. But this applies not only to those who live nearby, but also to those who spend a lot of time together in a closed space - at the university, at work, even on a reality show. Be close to the object of sympathy, so it will be more likely that he will still pay attention to you.
Resonance, similarity and external circumstances
The phenomenon that leads to emotional bonding through confidence is called resonance. This means that the more a person is sure that a certain person likes, the more he likes this person. When you find yourself in the same company, you are calm in his presence, you know that he will support the conversation and trust him.
The more common interests between you, the more you like each other. Your habits, interests, and hobbies can be the deciding factor in getting close. A common hobby is not only a way to start a conversation, but also an attempt to feel out how friendly a person is.
Psychologists also prove that the more difficult the situation and the difficulties that people find themselves in, the deeper the emotional connection between them becomes. In real life, troubles and extreme situations can really bring people together and even make us fall in love with a person who is in a difficult situation with us.
We all try to live consciously and make sound decisions. But now the question of love becomes that cobblestone that gets into our heads and knocks us down, making it difficult to live in a balanced and sober way. No wonder they say that in lovers the voice of reason is muffled, and the ability to think adequately is overshadowed.
Why do we fall in love?
Scientists say that the feeling of falling in love is conceived by nature so that we continue our race, make love and produce offspring. That is, falling in love is a symptom of gene compatibility. The criteria by which our body falls in love or does not fall in love with a certain person consist of little things - this is the timbre of the voice, and the structure of the body, and behavior, and facial features, the natural smell of a person, and much, much more. If we received the correct set of signals, then we unconsciously begin to fall in love, our body decided for us that this person is suitable, that this is your person.
How many times does a person fall in love?
According to the Siemens Festival Nights survey, most people only fall seriously in love twice in their lives and, on average, fall in love not mutually once in their lives. In addition, most of the respondents said that their partner is the love of their life. But there was also a negative aspect in these statistics - every seventh respondent said that his relationship did not have such a basis as love. And these people agreed with their partner after the relationship with their "true love of all life" did not work out. Read about the reasons why these relationships, according to the respondents, do not at all prevent them from being in search and searching for their destiny further. The survey also showed such an interesting nuance - after a ten-week relationship, people can usually firmly and accurately say whether their relationship is true love or not.
Love and Anthropology
Such a scientist as Fisher explains love from the point of view of anthropology. According to Helen, our choice in the "love" sphere is influenced by certain chemicals produced by the body. Including hormones such as testosterone and dopamine.
The scientist conducted a series of studies over the course of three years from the ninth to the twelfth year of the twenty-first century and found that the predominance of hormones such as serotonin, estrogen and testosterone, as well as dopamine, affect most of all our personality traits. The woman conducted a series of experiments on dating sites and found out that different types of neurochemical devices choose partners according to a certain pattern. Dopamine dominated people choose people with their own type of internal organization, that is, impulsive, emotional, inquisitive and energetic.
The scientist also found a way to keep the feeling of love - it is enough to maintain your own positive illusions about your chosen one or chosen one.
Secrets of how to win over the person you like
Several interesting factors about what else besides hormones and metaphysical factors influences our choice and
1) Emotional background. Meeting a girl after overcoming stressful situations, after an extreme attraction or a potentially dangerous situation makes men fall in love with a girl who met them in such circumstances more often than if the emotional background around was neutral.
2) Yale psychologist John Barg was able to prove that you can win over another person simply by treating him to a hot drink in the cold. That is why it is quite common to fall in love with waitresses or bartenders. Read on to find out how to keep him warm.
3) And experts from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology proved that living next to each other and frequent meetings significantly increases the likelihood of creating a couple.
4) Thanks to research at Cardiff University, we now know that the more beautiful a man's house, the more likely that his chosen one idealizes him and enters into a sexual relationship with him.
5) If a man has a dog, then this will also significantly increase his chances of a woman's love. This was proven by an experiment at the University of Michigan.
6) Researchers at the University of Illinois say that the same walking speed contributes to the development of warm feelings for each other.
7) And researchers from Slovakia said that girls dressed in red attract the attention of men much more and are more likely to meet a potential partner.
8) Bearded men attract women during ovulation. Such a secret was revealed to us by an experiment conducted in Australia.
Love is a rather complex process that is not so easy to explain. There are many factors involved. In addition to chemistry and psychology, love is, according to many, a metaphysical, difficult to explain feeling, given to us from above. But thanks to the efforts of scientists, we can understand the physiology of the process that happens to our psyche and body as a whole when we fall in love.
Love and be loved.
