Existential questions are those that take a long time to answer. Often, many people cannot find answers to questions about the meaning of life. Our small article, the materials of which will be presented below, will try to talk about what it means to find yourself. In short, we will offer you our vision of this problem. So:
What is the search for yourself?
Finding yourself in this world can be quite difficult. It is very difficult to immediately determine what the person who asks such a question to himself or anyone else means. Often, we hear in our address: "You're lost! Find yourself! You need to find yourself!". But what do they mean? Profession? Hobbies? Find yourself in another person? Answer questions about what we do not understand? Or maybe all this together? As you can see, dear reader, we are faced with many questions without clear and simple answers.
Finding yourself in a profession or career means working for the good of the cause in which you believe. At the moment, the variety of professions is amazing, so only those who truly dream of finding a job to their liking will be able to find it. Unfortunately, a huge number of obstacles arise in the way of people who aspire to better share. But the more attractive and the result of these searches!
What would an essay look like: what does it mean to find yourself? It is unlikely that an ordinary schoolboy could reflect this problem at least somehow. And here's how we see it. Finding yourself in life means finding inner peace and confidence in your thoughts, actions and motivations. This area any person is defining her life. without possession exact image yourself in this world, a person will be lost anyway. How to come to harmony? How do you end up finding yourself? The answer to this question lies deep in your mind. Do you appreciate what you are doing? Do you like the place where you live? How often do you think about who is not next to you? By answering at least these three questions, you will come closer to understanding the correctness of your choice in life. You will understand in which direction you need to move in order to find yourself.
We continue the topic of finding your calling (). If you are still looking for yourself and do not know what to do in life, then this article is for you. Let's see what could be the reasons for this situation and how to change it.
Let's start with the fact that people cannot find themselves for two main reasons. Either you are a very versatile person and do not know what to choose, or you think that you are not attracted to anything at all. Let's consider the first situation. People who have a lot of interests, favorite things, hobbies, cannot find themselves precisely because of the difficulty of choosing - they are torn between several directions in life. If you are just such a person, then you can only be congratulated - you are never bored of life and people are always interested in you. Your hobbies are the voices of your abilities. You can develop yourself in many areas and this is your advantage. The difficulty lies in the fact that a large number of interests creates a situation of "swan, cancer and pike", when you spray your energy at the same time on many things that are in no way connected with each other. As a result, you will not get good results anywhere, scattering your forces first on one, then on the other, then on the third. Mastery can only be achieved in the business to which you devote the maximum of your time. , attention and hard work. Therefore, make your choice as soon as possible, otherwise you will stand still.
Analyze what exactly of your favorite activities could become your profession, your main activity. Look in every direction you like. At the same time, in each case, imagine that this is your job, and track your feelings - could you do this all day five days a week, could you take money for it. Whatever suits you best permanent job then choose. Leave the rest of your favorite activities as a hobby. Do these simple reflections, and everything will become clear to you at once.
Then start acting in the direction that you have chosen to finally make sure that your decision is correct. It is in the process of activity that you will finally understand whether this is your business or not.
If necessary, get additional education. If you need new knowledge, go, for example, to courses or engage in self-education. 
The main thing is to start developing in what you have chosen, take small practical steps every day. Just say to yourself, “This is what I do in my life. Now". Nobody says that you can't change your mind later. It can always be changed. You just need to start moving towards something, choose from it a large number your favorite activities one thing and start devoting maximum of your time to it.
Now let's talk about the second group of people. About those who generally vaguely imagine what they want. As a rule, they quickly lose interest in everything, live as if by inertia, and have already ceased to believe that they have their calling, or never believed in it. I declare with all responsibility that it cannot be that a person does not have a vocation. Each person has his own calling. Understand that you are unique, there is no other like you! In nature, there are no two identical snowflakes, just like there are no two identical people. Even twins - although outwardly similar, but inside - completely different unique personalities. And in each person there is some kind of unique hidden talent, often not even one. Your task is to find talents in yourself, to understand what your main feature. After all a person is happy when he is not just a faceless cog in the system, but when he can give his uniqueness to the world.
How to discover them? Agree, always, every person has such activities that bring joy, that cause pleasant excitement, inspiration, enthusiasm. It just happens that the limiting social attitudes acquired in the family, in your circle of friends, have become so entrenched in your consciousness that for you these activities seem to be something frivolous or impossible, and you do not perceive them as possible variant your activities.
Think about what inspires you? What activity brings you moral satisfaction? What are you unconsciously drawn to? - You collect information about it, but you keep putting it off until later. When you experience a feeling of pleasant excitement (and not a feeling of boredom), when thoughts begin to unwind in this direction. Inspiration is the sister of vocation.
Now we are not considering a situation where a person does not want anything at all, when he has depression or apathy. It is clear that in such periods there is no time for searching for a destination. Here you just need to restore vitality, return the desire to live.
We take the case when a person is mentally healthy, just has not yet found his path and thinks that he is not drawn to anything. In fact, this is an illusion, the inertia of the mind, the conviction with which a person has become accustomed and considers it a part of his personality, he perceives as his own. Start thinking differently. Create new look myself - one who knows what his purpose is. Stop freaking out and getting upset. Your image should always go ahead of reality. Think outside the box - don't be afraid of bold ideas. Repeat as often as possible: “I know what my purpose is. I know what I want to do in life. Life shows me my way, sends signs, directs and leads me to my goal. Or ask yourself a question, ask directly: “What is my calling? What is my main goal? Go to sleep and wake up with this question, and your subconscious mind will find a way to tell you the answer. In fact, all the answers are already within you. Stop looking around and look inside yourself.
We will talk about the factors that influence the choice of life path.
Anna HandelThe question "How to find your calling?" or “How to find yourself in life?” people ask in different ages. It’s good when, as a child, a person begins to think about such important issues. But even if you are forty years old, there is nothing shameful in this. What is wrong with the fact that a person rethinks his life, his own, changes his views on the reality surrounding him, wants to change his life in better side? Nothing!
The relevance of this issue is enormous. Firstly, only by moving in the right way and doing what you love, you will always be full of inspiration and energy, you will enjoy life and enjoy it. And secondly, finding your own path can be much more difficult than finding it to follow.
If you are still concerned about finding your place in life and your vocation, reading this article will be useful to you.
Grab paper and pen...
The most common method (but no less effective) used by school psychologists to help children decide on a life calling and with:
Take a piece of paper, a pen and write down what you like to do most in life. Approach the matter seriously, with inspiration, after all, decide the future direction of your life! Write more, points should not be less than thirty.
After that, cross out the activities that you do inconsistently only because of your mood. Also cross out hobbies and passions that you would not want to do professionally, cross out those that you will not do all your life. Think well!
Now write down all your strengths, skills, abilities, skills. Highlight what you are better than others? What are you proud of?
Now match your list of favorite activities with your list. strengths and write down in which activities you think it can be used. Think, it cannot be that your virtues and hobbies cannot be applied. The more options you get, the better, it's always good when there is plenty to choose from.
It does not matter if there is a great desire to do something, but there are no abilities and talents. Skills can be developed.
Try!
The main thing to do in order to find your place in life, to find yourself - you have to try! Try yourself everywhere and in everything, use all the chances and opportunities, and one day you will definitely find exactly what you personally need! What will you be ready to give your whole life!
Conditional values and rivalry
In the depths of his soul, a person can know his vocation, but he is prevented from comprehending his place in life and following his inner urges by conventional values, as well as the wishes and hopes of other people. Here is what the Austrian psychiatrist and psychologist Viktor Frankl said about this - “ Often people do not see themselves as responsible for self-determination in values and therefore as an active participant in their own life. Therefore, they allow various - social, natural, and psychological - determinants to determine their life path.».
So how to find yourself in life, how to distinguish the inner vocation from the attitudes once adopted from other people?
If you are striving to achieve a certain result in order to feel like the most-most (“most beautiful”, “most powerful”, “most successful”, “richest”) and you are driven solely by yourself, then maintaining a sense of significance and importance is decisive for you. You are forced to hide your true nature and wear a psychological "mask". And even if you achieve what you were striving for, let's say, become the richest (although there will always be those who are richer than you, you are unlikely to earn more), the feeling of meaninglessness, futility and emptiness will not leave you.
Find yourself in life, find your true purpose you will succeed if you refuse to compare yourself with others, stop competing with other people, then all the beauty of your true essence will appear. The true essence seeks ways for self-determination through creativity and love for life. The activity of such a person ceases to depend on the opinions of others. He is busy with an interesting and favorite thing and this brings him joy and satisfaction, he does it with enthusiasm, for his own sake, and not for the sake of the result.
By abandoning rivalry and conventional values, a person can realize how to find his purpose in life.
Be Consistent
The problem with many people who don't know how to find themselves in life is inconsistency. They grab onto one thing, then abandon it, abruptly switch to another, as soon as the initial enthusiasm goes out, they give it up, and again find something new, and so on in a circle. Not seeing the results in the end, they are disappointed in themselves.
Having chosen a task, and feel the courage, do not back down. Bring the work you have started to the end, and you will feel how much energy and strength you will have to move in the chosen direction. Doubts about the correctness of your calling will disappear as soon as you achieve some results. If it doesn't disappear, then try something else.
Breaking stereotypes
On a subconscious level, it is common for a person to consider his style of life and thinking as the most true and correct, and this makes him sometimes immune to certain things. Therefore, if you want to change something in life and find new meaning, you should get rid of the prevailing stereotypes that were formed in your mind long years.
Try, communicating with people who do not belong to your circle, try on their “skin” for a while, i.e. understand and even accept their worldview, their values and aspirations. Try, in spite of these alien values from above, to weigh them objectively.
Deal with your fears
Sometimes a person is insecure own forces but at the same time knows how to find his calling, knows everything about his life goals. In this case, uncertainty and a sense of fear do not allow him to move. All sorts of things prevent people from doing what they like. I will not delve into this topic, because there are a lot of fears and fears, and many reasons for their occurrence. Identify and get rid of, either on your own or with the help of qualified psychologists.
The question of how to find oneself in life should be asked not only by high school students choosing a profession, but also by adults and accomplished people. Indeed, in our youth we often depend on the opinions and desires of our parents, on the opinions of others, on issues of prestige, so we forget about the main questions: who am I? What is left for me? Where is my calling? Here are a few simple exercises who will tell you how to find yourself in life.
1. Remember your childhood.
Sometimes they say that it is better to look not where it is brightest, but where you have lost it. We were all told that music does not feed, and artists are poor, so we began to forget over time what we should really do. Remember your favorite childhood activities and you will understand a lot. This is a real clue. Yes, some famous architects they admit that they loved to play with the designer most of all in childhood, and male fashion designers sewed outfits for dolls and they didn’t care that other boys laugh at it ... Some may object that, they say, my son only likes to play computer games So what is this calling? Who knows, maybe over time the son will start creating his own games, commercially successful, or become a tester.
2. Ask questions.
For yourself, or you can ask a friend or household member to ask questions, and you look for answers to them. Think about what your cherished desire is and why it is exactly like that, asking “why?” many times, you can get to the bottom of the matter, for example, what you really want to do.
But there is a small, or rather, serious, snag. So, one girl who wanted to become a movie star, in fact, dreamed only of understanding and that her relatives loved her.
If you crave to be the most successful, rich, strong, beautiful, apparently, you are driven only by a sense of your significance. This is a mask and nothing more, and this superficial, or rather, the desire to hide the real oneself ... Something that vocation has nothing to do with. Even if you become super rich or super strong, the emptiness and feeling of uselessness will not go anywhere. The search for oneself begins with the rejection of competition and comparison of oneself with others.
3. If you have only six months of life left.
Indeed, what would you do if, God forbid, you had only six months left in your life? Perhaps this is exactly what you need.
4. Five lives.
An exercise that is exactly the opposite of the previous one. Just imagine that you have not one life, but five. It is possible and more, do not deny yourself. Let's say that in one you will raise your children, in another you will fly into space, in the next you will be a biochemist. You don't have to choose one, it's wrong. In fact, there are only a few people who have been given a single vocation. So, you can bring all this into your the only life. You have the right.
5. Twenty activities to your liking.
We write everything that you like to do more than anything in the world, even if these activities are banal or ridiculous, for example, a love of cooking and baking. Having written 20 the best things to do, try to find a pattern: perhaps there are most of all activities related to communication and helping people? Or maybe caring for children or animals gives you a lot of positive emotions? Try to break the list into groups and you will find many answers yourself. The main thing is not to hide your desires and not be afraid of them. Now try doing these things. Something definitely "yours".
6. How to fulfill your calling
For many, it is not so much the realization of the vocation that is difficult, but the embodiment of it in life. What will they think? What if it doesn't work? It is important to understand here that you are alone and you will not be forcibly sweet for everyone all your life.
7. Change the environment
If you don’t have much faith in you, then it’s not easy to find yourself. Of course, you can’t get away from relatives and friends, but winners are born among winners. If you like making music, look for new friends among musicians, if needlework is among hand-made lovers. Like-minded people are a real fulcrum. By the way, if your favorite business starts to bring money, relatives are unlikely to laugh at you.
8. Do not be afraid of mistakes
Just try and don't be afraid. Everyone, even prominent personalities, there were dips and black bars. But that doesn't mean you have to give up calling. The most interesting, as you know, happens on the way, and fear destroys all our strength, by the way. So, we are testing every chance.
9. Consistency
Many cannot find themselves just because they give up an interesting business quickly and grab on to something else. If you have caught the courage, then do not lose it and do it, do it, do it ... The result may not be immediately, but you only need to do what you love and nothing more.
10. Breaking stereotypes
Their. Yes, we all believe that our way of life and our way is the only correct one. But in order to find yourself, sometimes you need to disengage from this and remove the stereotypes that have been created for you for many years. In order to get rid of this, communicate with people from different circles, trying to understand their value system and "get into their shoes."
11. Deal with your fears
It is they who hinder the search for yourself the most. Here, only one thing can be advised: go to an intelligent psychotherapist and remove fears together.
However, the theme of the search for one's own I, which lives real, full life is far from exhausted. In this article, we will storm the problem from a slightly different angle.
In general, there are innumerable ways to find your own purpose and meaning. Starting from replicated in hundreds of cozy articles, writing out in a column your ideas about ideal life and ending with a three-day meditation on the slopes of the Tien Shan. The problem is that different people fit different ways and what for someone will be a useful practice, for another it will be a waste of time.
So, what kind of self-discovery method do I suggest?
We will go from the contrary. From contrary to direct and figuratively: from the nasty, interfering with effective living. Actually, this is one of the obstacles on the way to. And - attention! - the path to this real life often begins with the realization of what a veil lies in front of your eyes, how much you do not understand and did not even suspect the existence of many things. And now in order.
First. Almost all of us have certain stereotypes and prejudices. Having got rid of them, we not we will find our own purpose (I don’t like this pathetic word, but don’t poke everywhere “find your self”). Without them, we run the risk of being simply left without any convictions and principles, without an inner core. But you need to get rid of at least part of it, and the sooner the better.
Second. There is a group of prejudices from which life itself often relieves people in one way or another. In general, if you wish, you can distinguish many types of stereotypes. There are those with which we were awarded by education, parents and school. There are those developed by their own cones, due to life failures (or vice versa, successes). And then there are cockroaches that have settled in your head as a result of regular communication with a certain circle of people. People different professions, social status and age (and so on) have different stereotypes. In extreme cases, this results in . So here it is if the group of people to which you belong is narrow enough and somewhat specific, then most likely the stereotypes that it instills are easy enough to destroy.(If something is not clear here, don't worry, there will be an example below;)
And finally, the essence of the method.
Which is very simple. It is necessary to destroy the stereotypes universed by your surroundings. As a rule, exemption from them gives powerful push thought process. By itself, you begin to think about life and wonder at yourself - how could you not understand such simple things.
Now in order.
1. Destruction of group stereotypes. Everything is simple here. We communicate with other people who do not belong to the “circle” and try to understand and even slightly accept their values and aspirations that differ from ours. Usually people never do this (unless life pokes its nose at the fact that their aspirations are worthless, that they are chasing something worthless).
It is human nature to subconsciously own style life and thinking the most correct. Otherwise, he will be very uncomfortable to live. Therefore, you will have to make some efforts not to treat other people's values and goals down. Just try to weigh them objectively.
2. The second step is more difficult. It is important not to ruin the awakened doubts about the complete correctness of the chosen paths and values. How does it usually happen? If a person is poked in the face with the fact that he does not live very correctly and strives for the wrong thing, he does - what? That's right, he runs to like-minded people and, after chatting with them for an hour or two, brightens in spirit and is filled with joy. Let the experts correct me, but, as far as I know, it is very difficult to cure alcoholism, if you do not excommunicate a person from the company in which he drinks. So it is with everything else. Only the beliefs that prevail in different micro-societies (wow, how I wrapped it up) can be any, and not just “drinking and drinking is our everything.”
3. Now it is important that reflections in the spirit of “I do something wrong in my life / think” do not turn into a continuous negative. It is necessary to concentrate on positive questions: “what should I do?” “But what will a person do without cockroaches”? etc.
4. Actually, that's all. The process is running (if running). We began to get rid of stereotypes - slowly and naturally. Why natural? Because our group stereotypes are already being tested every day: billions of people on Earth live differently and strive for other goals. Moreover, if this process is controlled consciously, then it goes much faster, and most importantly, we do not just throw off prejudices. We replace them with consciously developed values and goals that are fundamentally important to us and based on reality and not on human delusions.
This is a fundamental point: as I wrote above, simply by getting rid of all the cockroaches, a person runs the risk of remaining in a psychologically uncomfortable, hostile environment. And it doesn't bode well, of course.
If all of the above seemed to you reasoning out of touch with life, then delve into the example. Private.
When I was, we had a very strong group in terms of study, which went through the fire and water of a competition of 20 people / place. Accordingly, a lot of pay-girls were selected, who were drummed from childhood that the five was “our everything”. I have never been a big gouging, but in this company I felt like it was. And - attention - in just a couple of months I adopted a bunch of stereotypes from my environment. It happened imperceptibly and I realized it only later, after a couple of years. And then - I really earnestly studied, studied and studied. Obtaining absolutely unnecessary knowledge for me now.
Do you understand? A person begins to share the values of a group of people with whom he communicates constantly. It is an innate human need to belong to a group. We all understand that a group can profess any values and strive for any goals.
But that's not what matters. The important thing is that it was by realizing the unreal stupidity of intensive study, monstrously divorced from life, that I began to think about important things. About what you still need to strive for. About, . How . And further . And I think I found myself.
And all this happened almost by itself. And what if you make an effort and intelligently manage this process, huh?
Good luck!!!
P.S. Perhaps it would be superfluous to emphasize that this way of finding oneself in life is not suitable for everyone, but only for those who have many group (or other easily destroyed) stereotypes. Unfortunately, there is no universal way. But it's even more interesting, isn't it?
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