This prison game is a famous registration, they scare the green convicts even earlier, even in the pre-trial detention cells in the police, where there is always an experienced or just talkative and willing to scare a neighbor. Usually, such riddles are given to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what applies to you will be based on the answers. From prison games do not refuse. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.
Two chairs (classic): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are sharpened, on the other x * and d * chens, which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on?
Answer: I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down x * and d * cheny, I’ll sit down myself and plant my mother.
Answer number 2: I myself will sit on the peaks, I will put my mother on her knees.
Parachute: You are flying on a parachute, on the right - the forest hu * in, on the left - the sea of gov * a. Where will you sit down?
Answer: In every forest there is a glade, and in every sea there is an island.
Pit: You fell into a pit. There is a pie and x * d in the pit. What will you eat, what will you shove in your *op?
Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the pit.
* opa or mother?
Answer: F * pa is not given, the mother is not for sale.
Fork: Question on the forehead: With a fork in the eye or f * n times?
Answer: There are no forks in the zone.
Answer number 2: I don’t see one-eyed people here.
Soap or bread? What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap box, the bucket is not a breadbasket.
About the Sahara: You and Kent are walking through the Sahara desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is neither housing nor settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly, a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the Kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the Kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If below - then he will suck.
Answer number 2: Today is a kent, and tomorrow a cop.
About the train: You are on a train, chained to levers, you can turn them either to the left or to the right. There is a fork ahead - on the right, the mother is tied to a pole, on the left, there are ten Kents. Where will you turn, who will you crush?
Answer: Kents today, cops tomorrow.
The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up... and subscribe to Smart Journal:)
About the bones: The convict is sitting on the shkonar, they open the feeder and give gruel, dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.
About roosters: There were two roosters, one was fucked before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse off?
Answer: Who has it worse.
In addition to such riddles, citizens of prisoners can also offer a newcomer a series of tests for quick wit and ingenuity.
Football: Draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.
Broom: They give you a broom and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do?
Answer: Give the broom with the words "And you set the mood first"
Sew up the bottle: They break the bottle and say: "Sew." What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn inside out.
Button accordion: They ask you to play the battery, like the button accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to inflate the furs.
Pilots and miners: Who will you be? - ask the newcomer. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he replies. Then crawl under the racks, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping dust and dirt under the bunks.
Get out. Now who will you be? Well, probably better as a pilot, he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which rack will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? they ask him. Scared if he says - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to show himself to be a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he replies. Will you fall on dominoes or on chess set? they ask him.
When you stand blindfolded, you obviously get a very vivid picture of how you fly flat from two meters to the points of the placed figures. It’s bad if a newcomer chooses dominoes: they will force him to fall down, and the registration will begin to tighten. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: to chess, there will be another three minutes of fear and nothing more.
While the figures are being arranged, while they are being put on the bunk, and the most terrible seconds are when you have to fly off it yourself - fall down blindly with your whole body. Sharply twitching - was not - he flops, waiting acute pain, but falls on a stretched blanket.
Pain Resistance: A novice may be challenged to compete with an old-timer in pain resistance. Both of them are blindfolded (first an old-timer), they are seated on both sides of the table, and the beginner's scrotum, he feels this with horror, is tightened with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of an opponent. And he is given the end of the same tied rope.
Start - strictly on command. He quickly pulls on the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even worse, and he almost loses consciousness, because he is pulling himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and watch how he reacted to the bullying.
Bus: Beginner, gets on all fours, and someone heavier climbs on his back. Go! A beginner walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn around and rest. The rider-passenger asks him which stop. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner calls some. Let's go further! This will last until he guesses to say: the final stop.
Stargazer: A novice stargazer crawls under a padded jacket and must, through its sleeve stretched upwards - a telescope - count loudly the stars drawn on paper - he clearly sees them through the sleeve, as through a pipe. At this time, a pelvis unexpectedly poured onto him through his sleeve. cold water- a basin for washing, called Alyonka for some reason, is always in the cell. How will the newcomer react to this, crawling out wet under the general laughter of others?
Do you respect me? Do you respect me? - asks one of the old-timers. Yes! - the newcomer is ready to answer. Then drink a glass of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? - asks the second. Then a mug for me. And in the cell, as a rule, more than a dozen people. After three or four cups it becomes torture. Guess, newbie, on the second or third cup, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the last one for general health.
The young guy told what riddles the cellmates in prison ask the newcomer.
ATTENTION! For Android smartphone owners, there is a bonus at the end of the article!
This prison game is a famous registration, it is used to frighten green convicts even earlier, even in the pre-trial detention cells in the police, where there is always an experienced or just talkative and willing to scare neighbor. Usually, such riddles are given to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what applies to you will be based on the answers. From prison games do not refuse. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.
Two chairs (classic): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are sharpened, on the other x * and d * chen, which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on?
Answer: I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down x * and d * cheny, I’ll sit down myself and plant my mother.
Answer number 2: I myself will sit on the peaks, I will put my mother on her knees.
Parachute: You are flying on a parachute, on the right - the forest hu * in, on the left - the sea of gov * a. Where will you sit down?
Answer: In every forest there is a glade, and in every sea there is an island.
Pit: You fell into a pit. There is a pie and x * d in the pit. What will you eat, what will you shove in your *op?
Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the pit.
*oops or mother? Will you give in F * pu or will you sell your mother?
Answer: F * pa is not given, the mother is not for sale.
Fork: Question in the forehead: With a fork in the eye or f * n times?
Answer: There are no forks in the zone.
Answer number 2: I don’t see one-eyed people here.
Soap or bread? What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap box, the bucket is not a breadbasket.
About the Sahara: You and Kent are walking through the Sahara desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly, a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the Kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the Kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If below - then he will suck.
Answer number 2: Today is a kent, and tomorrow a cop.
About the train: You're on the train, chained to the levers, they can turn either to the left or to the right. There is a fork ahead - on the right, the mother is tied to a pole, on the left, there are ten Kents. Where will you turn, who will you crush?
Answer: Kents today, cops tomorrow.
The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up.
About the bones: The convict is sitting on the shkonar, they open the feeder and give gruel, dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.
About roosters: There were two roosters, one was fucked before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse off?
Answer: Who has it worse.
In addition to such riddles, citizens of prisoners can also offer a newcomer a series of tests for quick wit and ingenuity. 
Football: Draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.
Broom: They give you a broom and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do?
Answer: Give the broom with the words "And you set the mood first"
Sew up the bottle: They break the bottle and say: "Sew." What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn inside out.
Button accordion: They ask you to play the battery, like the button accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to inflate the furs.
Pilots and miners: Who will you be? a newbie is asked. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he replies. Then crawl under the racks, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping dust and dirt under the bunks.
Get out. Now who will you be? Well, probably better as a pilot, he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which rack will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? they ask him. Scared if he says - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to show himself to be a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he replies. Will you fall on dominoes or on chess set? they ask him.
When you stand blindfolded, you obviously get a very vivid picture of how you fly flat from two meters to the points of the placed figures. It’s bad if a newcomer chooses dominoes: they will force him to fall down, and the registration will begin to tighten. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: to chess, there will be another three minutes of fear and nothing more.
While the figures are being arranged, while they are being put on the bunk, and the most terrible seconds are when you have to fly off it yourself - fall down blindly with your whole body. With a sharp twitch - it was not - he flops, expecting a sharp pain, but falls on a stretched blanket.
Pain Resistance: A novice may be challenged to compete with an old-timer in pain resistance. Both of them are blindfolded (first an old-timer), they are seated on both sides of the table, and the beginner's scrotum, he feels this with horror, is tightened with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of an opponent. And he is given the end of the same tied rope.
The beginning is strictly on command. He quickly pulls on the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even worse, and he almost loses consciousness, because he is pulling himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and watch how he reacted to the bullying.
Bus: A beginner, gets on all fours, and someone heavier climbs onto his back. Go! A beginner walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn around and rest. The rider-passenger asks him which stop. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner calls some. Let's go further! This will last until he guesses to say: the final stop.
Stargazer: A novice stargazer crawls under a padded jacket and must, through its sleeve stretched upwards - a telescope - count loudly the stars drawn on paper - he clearly sees them through the sleeve, as through a pipe. At this time, a basin of cold water suddenly pours onto him through his sleeve - a basin for washing, called Alyonka for some reason, is always in the cell. How will the newcomer react to this, crawling out wet under the general laughter of others?
Do you respect me? Do you respect me? one of the old-timers asks. Yes! - ready answers newcomer. Then drink a glass of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? asks the second. Then a mug for me. And in the cell, as a rule, more than a dozen people. After three or four cups it becomes torture. Guess, newbie, on the second or third cup, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the last one for general health.
Based on: Guberman I.M., Walks around the barracks, M., "Verb", 1993, p. 78-82.
Bonus for gadget owners on the Android OS - There is an application-quest "Test for convicts 2.0" in the playmarket. In this application, you can independently go through the "registration" in the "hut", using the knowledge from this article.
Well, some delivering reviews on the app from the play store:
One person leaves his house every day and walks to the same intersection. There he waits for the exact time of 8:30, after which he crosses the street. Then he takes a city train and passes a couple of stops. Then he walks for about 15 minutes and reaches his meta work. Why does a person wait every time for the time of 8:30, although the intersection can be crossed immediately without waiting?
Answer
Three robbers broke into the jewelry store and, threatening with a gun, began to collect jewelry from the windows. Suddenly one of them said that the police were coming. The second looked around, listened, but found nothing. However, when he looked at the robber who said that the police were coming, he immediately agreed to quickly run away. Why?
Answer
In one company, two employees sit in the office during lunch break. One of them reads news on the Internet. Suddenly he says to the second employee: "You know that three of the first five presidents of the United States died on July 4, but it does not indicate which of them." The second replies: "I do not know them, but I can say for sure that at least the fifth president died on July 4 for sure." How could the second employee guess that the 5th President of the United States died on July 4, because before the conversation he did not know about it?
Answer
Two thieves in law quarreled with each other, sitting at the same table in the prison cafeteria. Suddenly the second of them turned blue and grabbed the first, and the first first hit the second on the back, and then stuck a knife into him. The guards came to the rescue immediately called the doctors, who saved the life of the wounded jailer. After this story, the first thief in law did not add a term at all, and the second was very grateful to him. Why?
Answer
in one very famous museum flaunted a super-expensive transparent diamond. He was behind glass partitions, but at any touch to which an alarm was triggered. After that, in a fraction of a second, all the windows and doors to this room were closed with iron shutters. 30 people were allowed into this room. After the third group left, the alarm suddenly went off. Immediately, all doors and windows were closed with iron shutters. Half a minute later, guards entered this room, opening the iron shutters-doors. They saw that the glass partitions were broken, but the diamond was intact. Inside the room stood one visitor who was left alone in the room. He said that he was about to leave and accidentally hit the glass partitions of his glass bottle which he held in his hand. After an explanation, he was released. However, a week later an announcement appeared in the newspapers that the expensive diamond had been stolen. How did it happen?
Answer
One elite and very expensive restaurant was visited by one wealthy married couple. They asked for a menu, after which they made an order for four people, but for now they drank a glass of expensive wine. Suddenly, the husband received a call on a cell phone, after the conversation he said a few words to his wife. Then they immediately got up and went to the exit without paying. As soon as they put on their outerwear, they calmly left the restaurant. At the same time, no one stopped them and did not ask to pay at least for the drunk wine. Why?
Answer
One dad had two daughters and one greedy, greedy son. Once dad gave all the children 5 apples. How many apples do you think each sister got?
Answer
Ten men are seated round table in tense silence. After a pause, the phone rang, after which one of them took off and jumped out the window. What happened?
Answer
If we add the numbers from 1 to 3, then we get 6. If we add the numbers from 1 to 5, we get 15. And how to quickly add the numbers from 1 to 100 (in your mind)?
Answer
One terrorist group kidnapped a high-ranking official of the current government. They decided to execute him by firing squad. One of them volunteered to do it. He shot him 3 times with a pistol, after which everyone dispersed. However, on the same day they were all caught. A day later, the dignitary who had been shot met with the one who had shot him. They shook hands and wished each other good luck. How come?
There are two chairs, on one the peaks are sharpened, on the other x * and d * chen, which one will you sit on, which mother will you sit on?
Answer: I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down x * and d * cheny, I’ll sit down myself and plant my mother.
Answer number 2: I myself will sit on the peaks, I will put my mother on her knees.
PARACHUTE:
You are flying on a parachute, on the right - the forest hu * in, on the left - the sea of gov * a. Where will you sit down?
Answer: In every forest there is a glade, and in every sea there is an island.
PIT:
You fell into a hole. There is a pie and x * d in the pit. What will you eat, what will you shove in your *op?
Answer: I'll take a pie and get out of the pit.
*OPA OR MOTHER?
Will you give in F * pu or will you sell your mother?
Answer: F * pa is not given, the mother is not for sale.
FORK:
Head-on question: With a fork in the eye or f * n times?
Answer: There are no forks in the zone.
Answer number 2: I don’t see one-eyed people here.
SOAP OR BREAD?
What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap box, the bucket is not a breadbasket.
ABOUT SUGAR:
You and Kent are walking through the Sahara desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly, a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the Kent and bites him for x * d. What are you going to do?
Answer: If the Kent has a prick above the knee, then the snake will not reach. If below - then he will suck.
Answer number 2: Today is a kent, and tomorrow a cop.
PRO TRAIN:
You are on a train chained to levers that can be turned either to the left or to the right. There is a fork ahead - on the right, the mother is tied to a pole, on the left, there are ten Kents. Where will you turn, who will you crush?
Answer: Kents today, cops tomorrow.
The answer to all the riddles above is: Wake up.
PRO BONES:
The convict is sitting on the shkonar, they open the feeder and give a gruel, dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see the bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.
ABOUT COCKS:
There lived two roosters, one was fucked before dinner, and the other after dinner, who was worse off?
Answer: Who has it worse.
FOOTBALL:
Draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.
BROOM:
They give you a broom in your hands and say: "Play something on the guitar." What will you do?
Answer: Give the broom with the words "And you set the mood first"
YOUR BOTTLE:
They break the bottle and say: "Zashey." What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn inside out.
ACCORDION:
They ask you to play the battery, like an accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to inflate the furs.
And if you are interested in how life goes in prison, we can offer quite unusual and interesting stories about life in prison.
Collection of prison riddles and answers.
THEY HAVE PUT A MAN IN PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:
They put the man in prison for strict 9 years. One day, the godfather (head of the prison) says to him, if you solve the riddle for 9 years, I will let you go, well, the man agreed and the head says:
The word of 9 letters, is in every home, ends in "zor", but not TV. The man thought he thought for a long 9 years and did not guess. He served his 9 years, comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
Answer: TV. The question is not about what the jailer thought, but about the subject, about the cat. The man first heard from the jailer (TV), and then saw at home. And if you read the condition, you can understand it.
ZEK ESCAPE FROM ISLAND JAIL:
Island in the ocean. There is a prison on the island, around the water. A convict escaped from the prison, climbed over the wall, jumped into a motorboat and shoveled with all his might. The guards jumped into a faster motorboat and chased after him. They caught up, tied me up, grabbed me by the hair, banged my head against the side, and took me back to prison. There are 3 inconsistencies in this story.
Answer:
1. The wall is not needed in the open ocean
2. Why row with oars in a motorboat if there is a motor
3. Zeki are still bald
This article was automatically added from the community
“You drive into the hut,” he began loquaciously, “and they arrange a residence permit for you: they ask all sorts of fucked-up questions, a bunch of all sorts of riddles, if you don’t answer, they hit you on the head with an oar ...”, wrote Vladimir Ivanov in the book Life in Prison.
Each newcomer to the house - prison cell- Must be registered. This is done in order to get to know the cellmate better, with whom they will have to share shelter, food and a common fund. According to the results of the test, the newcomer is attached to a certain caste in the prison community. There are categories of prisoners who do not have to go through the initiation procedure. These include seemingly inadequate or sick individuals, men over 40 years old. Researchers who have studied the criminal world of Russia attribute the emergence of its traditions and laws to the 18th century. Since that time, the procedure of the rite of passage is planned. caste system already formed by late XIX century. The main ones were four categories (suits), which became the reason for the appearance of a permanent rite of initiation in the ranks of recruits. This process reached its apotheosis from the 30s to the 90s of the XX century.
To thieves or not to thieves - that is the question
During registration, a “friendly” dialogue takes place, in which riddles with a trick take special attention. The answers to them are clearly regulated. To show yourself worthy, you need to initially know the solution or intuitively reach it. The initiation procedure is generally not carried out among mature offenders. It affects minors who are registered in the cells of the pre-trial detention center. It is carried out in order to study the newcomer, to establish his degree of knowledge of the criminal subculture, to understand whether the cellmate is ready to follow its norms, to determine the status of a recently joined ranks, to clarify the rights and obligations arising from the established suit. Registration is often carried out immediately after the newcomer enters the cell. In some prisons, it is customary to dedicate after the expiration of the term (usually three months). The concept of “fun” or “toy” is inextricably linked with initiation. The goal is to convict the recruit of ignorance of the norms and rules of the criminal world. The most time-consuming are the riddles. They test the "green" prisoner until the questioner has enough strength.
That "green" prisoners do not kill ...
Riddles are set quickly. For each mistake, the subject receives a spoon on the forehead. If the cellmate turned out to be unintelligent, at the end of the registration, “horns” grow in him - due to swelling in the places of numerous blows. “You can’t retell all the riddles, and they help to remember (or think) the person passing the residence permit in different ways: either with a spoon, or with a fist in the forehead through a book, they can also hit them with a liter mug,” says Vladimir Ivanov in the book Life in Prison. Fun toys, as a rule, are defiantly disparaging in nature, associated with the use of obscene swearing. One of the most common questions is: “What keeps the prison?” The correct answer ("on a joke") is extremely rarely given. For an incorrect answer, recruits do push-ups or squats. But the wrong answer to the riddle “Will you give me a f*** or will you sell your mother?” leads to more offense. If the novice chooses the first option, he is subject to sodomy. The second one is beaten and becomes a “goat” (a type of suit). The correct answer sounds like this: "The kid in the f*** is not f***ing, and the mother is not for sale." A quick wit joke is widely known to experienced prisoners: “What do you choose: x ** in f *** or a fork in the eye?” A recruit should choose the latter, because prisons do not provide forks.
The venerables have the last laugh
During registration, there is a "kid's time" for thinking about the answer, equal to 45 seconds. If the answer is not received or it is incorrect, the recruit loses the status of the kid. Sometimes it becomes possible to redeem the answer to the riddle - to hurt the "green". The subject of beating can be a "carrot" - a dry or wet towel twisted into a bundle. Often the ransom is not real and is associated with torture. Experienced thus amuse themselves. For example, a disadvantaged person is offered to become a “kid”. To do this, a tube is made from pre-melted cellophane, which is set on fire and dripped 36 times (it is believed that persons under 18 years of age have 36 suits) into his anus. As a result, the recruit does not receive a new, higher status.
The road to the criminal elite
The prison world is conservative and structured. complete picture the division into castes was described by Yu. K. Alexandrov in the chapter “Table of Ranks in the Criminal Community (Division into Suits)” in the book “Essays on the Criminal Subculture”). A special position in it is occupied by thieves in law. One of these was Pasha Zakharov, who first ended up in a detention center after pickpocketing. During his term, he earned the “crown” of criminal authority, and in the first month of his stay in prison he received the nickname Cirul. He showed himself worthy during registration (it is possible that he answered riddles correctly), so professional criminals let him in. There is an opinion that Pasha Zakharov cut reputable thieves in law.
