Throughout life, people have to deal with various emotional upheavals, but betrayal is the strongest “shake”, after which not everyone can quickly recover.

The worst thing about betrayal is that close people become enemies. How to survive the pain of a knife in the back and endure important lesson, read and understand together.

Betrayal - what kind of beast is this

The Society defines betrayal as "breaking allegiance to someone or failing to fulfill a duty to someone." But the phenomenon itself includes a rather wide range of explanations and has its own meaning for each person.

Most often, a traitor is called a person who was completely immersed in your inner world, knew secrets and enjoyed trust, but for some reason questioned this trust.

Sometimes we ourselves become the perpetrators of betrayal, because no one forced us to place great hopes on another person.

A person lives in society and always seeks support from the outside, and, unfortunately, one must be prepared for such unpleasant life turns.

Be it deceit, gossip behind your back, or, moreover, you have been mercilessly taken advantage of for your own benefit - all this needs to be experienced.

Everyone has experienced betrayal. Maybe you yourself were in the role of a traitor. As practice shows, nothing good comes from this.

Which of the friends can be considered a traitor

If the phrase “betrayal of a loved one” raises standard ideas, then the betrayal of friends has blurred boundaries. First of all, it depends on your perception of a friend and on what is important to you.

Usually, we encounter betrayal when a friend acts dishonestly. For example:

• Spread gossip behind your back.
• Gives all your secrets to other people.
• Looking for the moment when you will be overtaken by failure.
• Substitutes because of money or career.
• Turns away at a difficult moment for you.
• He cheats regularly.

The worst thing about betrayal is that it cannot be foreseen.

A friend or girlfriend can smile in the face, but plot intrigues behind their backs. It seems that this is the best friendship, but no. There comes a moment when a loved one reveals his true face and brings incredible pain to life.

You should not regard all the actions that you do not like as a betrayal. There are moments in life when a person becomes a hostage of a situation and, perhaps, he had to do something different from what you wanted.

You also need to soberly consider cases when a friend tells the truth that you would not want to hear, and it hurts you - but this is not a betrayal. There needs to be clear boundaries this concept and don't jump to conclusions.

How to deal with betrayal by a friend

Not all people have a stable psyche and emotional strength, many experience betrayal very hard and. It is difficult to recover after the closest person has acted dishonestly with you. Life changes dramatically, priorities are revised, and the feeling of longing and loneliness haunts. Remember that no one will help you in this situation except yourself.

• Calm down and think about the reasons for betrayal, try to enter into the position of a person. Perhaps you will see the other side of the coin.
• If the betrayal really happened - accept it, realize the whole situation.
• Sometimes it is difficult to calm down, and emotions themselves are torn out, so you should not restrain them.

If it hurts - cry, shout, splash out the negative. But it's better to do it alone.

• Talk to a friend. Calmly discuss the situation, give the opportunity to explain.
• When the betrayal really happened, and no excuses help, try to forgive anyway. Forgive and end the friendship.

The main thing to understand is that the pain will not go away immediately. The more you trust, the harder it will be.

Once you accept this situation and are able to forgive, you will turn most terrible act into a valuable lesson. Of course, you can’t immediately label all your acquaintances and friends as a traitor, but you should choose your surroundings more carefully. It is after such a bitter experience that you gain strength and wisdom. Try to benefit even from betrayal.

How to keep faith in people

Some are lucky to have more than one friend nearby, parents and other friends at the time of betrayal will turn their shoulders and help cope with the pain. But what if the disappointment is so strong that there is no desire to communicate with anyone? How to restore faith in people and not close yourself forever?

• Give yourself time. Everyone has heard the phrase “time heals”. At a difficult moment, it seems impossible, but it's true. Just let go of the situation. A month or even a year later, but you still smile and go towards other people.
• Don't generalize. If a friend betrayed you, you should not try on his act on everyone else. What one person did does not mean that another will follow his example.

• Don't cultivate your pain. Try to remember the positive moments in friendship. This will help you tune in to the positive, and you will not have a desire to hurt the traitor or take revenge on him.
• Be yourself good example. Do not close and do not take revenge on other people. Show how to treat your friends.

The first thing to do after betrayal is to forgive. Forgive not the person himself, but his act. But, nevertheless, the main thing is to answer yourself truthfully a few questions:

1. First, how did it happen that you were betrayed?
2. Why did you trust this particular person?

After all, until you yourself learn to more carefully select your environment and not be an absolutely naive person, the situation will repeat itself.

Do not close yourself completely from people, but do not continue to blindly believe everyone.

As soon as you begin to think about who to trust and who not, then it will be more difficult for you to become a victim of betrayal.

Having experienced terrible pain, such a person will be able to open his heart to others and trust people again.

The betrayal of friends always comes as a surprise to us, if not a blow. And this is what happened to you. There are a lot of questions in your head, in comparison with which the question "What to do?" seems simple. And so that you don’t get completely confused in trying to argue someone else’s behavior, let’s first understand what betrayal is.

In fact, betrayal is an act, and even though we are accustomed to calling “deeds” only something positive, it’s still true. True, after such an act, there is no place for trust.

In order to make it easier for you to imagine the essence of betrayal, we turn (don't be surprised) to scientific and technological progress. Recently, we thought about the fact that the person who invented the computer was trying not only to make life easier for the whole world, but also to create an ideal version of himself. He created something, but he himself did not learn anything from his ideal version. A computer, for example, can not only prevent/delete/correct other people's mistakes, but also accept and undo changes that have occurred due to someone else's fault. A person, as before, can only be responsible for his own actions (changes), he is not given the ability to program other people's.

So, betrayal it is a change that cannot be reversed and is very difficult to accept. Sometimes, in order to accept betrayal, we pretend that nothing happened, which means that we try to mentally cancel someone else's act. In this case, in order to accept, we need to cancel, and this is impossible (and even for a computer). Well, now that you have understood what betrayal is, it is time to give answers to the questions that have accumulated in your head.

Betrayal is not a mistake
That very close person, or friend, knows perfectly well your hidden line of trust that cannot be crossed. Therefore, no matter how your friend tries to convince you that she did not know that her action could offend you, betrayal is a completely conscious act.

The material was prepared by Maria Milerius
Photo: Pinterest

Has there been betrayal in your life? Were you betrayed? Or maybe you yourself betrayed a loved one and regret it? Leave your stories in the comments.

Life is amazing and wonderful. It is full of wonder and charm. But the most unpleasant and unexpected things happen, for which a person is not always ready. Fortunately, not everyone experiences betrayal. But many have gone through this negative life experience. And you should not despair, because there are always both negative and positive aspects. Therefore, it is better to focus on the positive.

What is betrayal?

Betrayal has many varieties. And there is always some cover or reason. And if you think about it, every individual once betrayed someone in something. It could be some deeds, deeds, words, relationships. Such is life, and resentment has no place in it.

Friends betray friends, girlfriends betray girlfriends. When this happens, a person seems to fall into a dead end or a maze. Not everyone can survive such a blow without consequences for themselves. And when this happens to you, different thoughts spin in your head and a lot of questions appear: “Why?”, “How to live on?”, “Forgive or take revenge?”. In order not to get confused, you need to reflect on this topic somewhere inside yourself and give clear guidelines.

It is important to try to put yourself in the place of friends, assess the situation and decide: is it worth it to forgive and be friends further or end the relationship?

What does betrayal look like?

• First, it's an act. And how to act, everyone decides for himself, but also bears responsibility too. And we have no right to judge anyone. If something not very pleasant happens, friends behave differently than before, you should think about the reason. It is important to try to put yourself in their place, assess the situation and decide: is it worth it to forgive and be friends further or end the relationship?
• Second, it's a change. And there is no way to return anything back and change. Here everyone decides for himself what to do next. Sometimes people do not want to accept changes in order to maintain friendship, and in their thoughts they try to forget and cancel someone's bad deed. But a person is not a computer. What happened cannot be changed. And they will never betray.
• Thirdly, betrayal and devotion stand side by side. And the first goes against the second. Therefore, only the closest people betray, those in whom we are most confident. If some simple acquaintance does something unpleasant in your direction, this cannot be called a betrayal. After all, this person means nothing to you.
• Fourthly, this is not just some kind of oversight. If friendship is real, there is a certain trait or edge of trust between people. And the closer and kinder friend or a girlfriend, the more painful it is to survive betrayal. Therefore, friends should trust each other, always come to the rescue, especially at the most difficult moment. Who cares about you and who doesn't, anyone can show a difficult situation. Such moments make true friendship stronger, and imaginary ones are broken. And immediately it becomes clear: who is who. Therefore, the line of trust should never be crossed.
• Fifth, betrayal is not a simple offense. Situations are different, as well as the relationship of people to each other. And why it happened, no one knows. If a person is not close, he cannot know everything that can offend you. If a girlfriend or friend decides to hurt on purpose, they know the line that should not be crossed. If loved ones betray, this is a sign that you are no longer important to them, they don’t care. Therefore, you should draw conclusions and move on with your head held high.

And, of course, it must be remembered that betrayal is a choice that a person makes intentionally. Although situations are different. For example, your fell in love with your girlfriend and took her away from you. It is very painful, because at one moment both a friend and a loved one are lost. It's hard to forgive. But perhaps, because life is given to everyone for happiness. To appreciate pleasant moments and moments of joy, you need to survive a storm with rain.

What to do if you have been betrayed

No one is immune from betrayal. What to do next? And why is this happening? Because people think more about themselves, selfishness does its job. True friends do exist, but they are few and far between. After all, friendship is like a family, it is important to maintain it, and not to remember each other only when bored or there are problems. So that in the future there is no question why this happened, you yourself need to try to be a good friend. Not only to take, but also to give.

The world is not perfect, it must be loved as it is. And the traitors look funny and stupid. By the time they realize their mistake, it will be too late. There is nothing more for them to do in your heart. Betrayal will mark the end of friendship. Yes, people are different. Quite often, envy, anger, hatred arise in the hearts of some representatives of humanity. It is better to delete such subjects from your life and try to have less contact with them. Why waste your time and nerves, because there is a lot of beauty and magic in the world?

Friends who betray are not worth your attention. Why? Just because there are a lot of good, kind, noble and wonderful people who are looking forward to meeting you. When betrayal happens, you need to help yourself. What to do with resentment and pain in the soul? You need to try to forgive and reconcile. Sometimes it's not easy, but it's real. It is important to find the strength in yourself to be yourself. What happened should be calmly dealt with. Sometimes it's difficult. But if you change your attitude to the situation, look at the prism of what happened from a different angle, you can understand a lot.

You can't be prepared for this. But when betrayal is on the face, it is advisable to accept the situation, not torturing yourself with reflections on why it happened, to forgive a friend and move on with your life. But already without him. And even better to succeed and become the happiest. To stay positive and less sad, life needs to be filled with new highlights and impressions, every day to do something pleasant for the soul. You can do something useful and interesting, then pleasant like-minded people and comrades will appear, and last lesson will be remembered with a smile and peace.

Betrayal is a kind of real test of our nobility, tolerance, kindness, love and humanity. From such trials, you will only get stronger, and your new wings will take you high up to new achievements, goals and success. This is much more important. After all, life is wonderful and extraordinary, no matter what. Only the weak can betray, and the strong will become wiser and richer spiritually.

Friendship is based on common interests. It can last long years or suddenly collapse before our eyes. The most important thing at this moment is that one of the friends should be prudent.

Reasons a friend might betray

1. Change of principles and agreements. A friend can exchange you for someone else from his environment. Perhaps something has changed in your friendship, you have become uninteresting to him or unnecessarily intrusive. Or a former friend tried to extract some self-interest from your relationship, but it didn’t work out. You considered it friendship, and he simply meant the existence of an oral contractual relationship.
2. Discontent.The friend was dissatisfied with your behavior or the consequences of the actions taken. If possible, you should immediately clarify the situation and explain your act. A smart friend will understand and forgive, and a stupid friend will prefer to break off relations.
3. petty quarrel. A quarrel over trifles suggests that friendly relations have not strengthened. This means that you remain in the status of comrades if some trifle is capable of dividing you forever. If there were frequent quarrels between you, there is no need to hope for the strengthening of friendly relations. Most likely, both of you are too proud and uncompromising to accept each other's position.

A torn friendship, like clothes, can be “darned”.

All is not lost - take a step forward

Or maybe not everything is as bad as it seems, and the usual disagreement from the outside seems like a betrayal to you? Calm down and analyze the situation. Remember how the disagreement began, try to investigate its true cause. Maybe a friend was not in the mood, or did something hurt at that moment? We all do bad things from time to time and then regret it.

The best thing take the first step forward trying to reach peace. You don't know how a friend feels at that moment. He may be so ashamed of his behavior and the emotions shown that he simply does not dare to apologize. Therefore, show nobility and approach a friend first (or call him, which is even easier to do). A calm conversation will be for both of you, like a balm for the soul. I fully admit that you will learn to appreciate each other and friendship will grow even stronger. And if in anger you express everything that is in your heart in response, the friendship will definitely end there.

Reaction to betrayal

• Get angry and take revenge. The most hasty and wrong decision. Anger can only do stupid things. You are angry, you harm your own emotional state trying to make another worse than what was done to you. And in the end, you make yourself an enemy. For what? After all, the relationship can not be restored. Just forget about the traitor.

Do not make fast conclusions. First, find out how your friend views the situation.

• Get offended, leave and not remember this person. Resentment is an uninvited guest, she comes without an invitation, suddenly. When you are offended by someone, you harbor bad thoughts and even curses in your heart regarding the other person. But everything comes back. Do you really want to reap the bad things in your life? So all claims - only to yourself.
• Hold a grudge and try to forgive, although it doesn't work. To finally forgive, you need to learn how to do it. The process is complex and lengthy. It is believed that you have forgiven a person when you remember him or the evil he committed calmly, without rage, as about a past stage of life that taught you something useful. Humility is submission, and forgiveness gives inner freedom.
• Forgive from the bottom of my heart and let go former friend on all 4 sides. This is the best way out for the devotee. Someone will consider this a weakness, but in fact this solution will help the victim to end up with inner peace and liberation from wrong thoughts and uncontrolled actions. People who believe in God are taught the highest degree forgiveness is a blessing to those who offend.

Why did this happen to me

Take a philosophical approach to a quarrel, even if it led to a break in relations. Maybe this situation is useful for you, as it will help to temper the spirit? You should not fall into despair. “All people are bad, life has failed…” – these thoughts are absolutely groundless. Such reflections will generally teach you to subconsciously repel new people. But new friend, real and true, may be on the way.

Normal relationships are possible when people give each other a certain freedom. And too claiming the time and attention of a friend, we can only spoil the relationship.

The shock of betrayal will soon pass. If friendship has cooled, then both are to blame. So take the situation as a lesson for the future. When you find a new friend, try not to open your whole soul to him. Don't dwell on your grief. Seek fellowship with others, turn your attention to family members: parents, children, brothers and sisters. You don't have to tell them about your grief. Just know that native people do not betray.

The most reliable friend is yourself.

Think about how many difficulties and misunderstandings you have already experienced. Appreciate yourself as a reasonable person who can cope with any trouble. When you see yourself standing above the problem, you will understand that life goes on and the most best friends- more to come.

Real friend or fake?

Friendship, like any other type of human relationship, has its own criteria. Surely you want to know how not to make a mistake and distinguish a true friend from a false one?

• A friend always remembers you, even if he is busy with work and affairs. And he is always ready to offer his help in difficult situations.
• A friend will not dismiss your problems, such as "decide for yourself." He will not only find out what happened, but will also try to offer a way out to solve the situation to the best of his ability.
• It is interesting to spend time with him, to communicate, to study common cause. Picnics, billiards, football, fishing trips, household chores - true friends never get bored.
• A friend can, without hesitation, "cry in a vest." He will listen, understand and will not tell anyone about your weakness.
• A true friend knows how to forgive - and there is nothing to add here.
• A friend knows what to offer you to improve your mood. He is on the same "wave" with you and perfectly feels your condition, especially if the friendship lasts more than one year.
• A friend, if necessary, is ready to let you spend the night, he will feed and share the money without demanding anything in return.
• You can consult with a friend various issues. He will not make fun of you if he hears some stupidity. On the contrary, he will try to convince you and offer the right solution. And if you are already in trouble somewhere, a friend will try to help you get out of problems.

Friends have been looking for years. That is why there are not many of them. Therefore, one must be able to value a friend as oneself. And the one who neglected your friendship, let him out of your life as soon as possible.

Let's first look at what it means real friendship, and then, why friends betray.

Each person divides all new acquaintances into friends and foes. We ourselves sometimes do not understand, but one person is sympathetic to us, and the other immediately causes unpleasant feelings.

Therefore, there are two camps, people who are pleasant to us and not. It occurs at the biological level of the organism. You know that people emit their scent, hormones, pheromones. Our nose has lost a lot of sensation and we don't act like animals sniffing each other. Nevertheless, the smell of a person carries the first information.

Suppose you have a good first impression of a new person. Then you start talking to him. And if you have the same outlook on life, then there is a desire to meet more often, visit some institution together and study common cause. This is how friendship is born.

Real friendship

Remember the children's song:

A friend in trouble will not leave, he will not ask too much ...

And I will add, but it will be sincere in joy

Now look what's really happening. People converge with common views, therefore, they are basically on the same material and social level.

A vivid example: who rent a dorm room. Here there is both material status and social status. Two neighbors can become very close friends, talking every evening about a hard life, about unscrupulous men and injustice in life. So live for years, and even help each other out in trouble. Borrow money, look after the child. It seems that friendship is for life, but only a man appears with one friend, and if he is still wealthy and treats children well and calls for marriage, then most likely the friendship comes to an end.

It turns out that they experienced grief together, and the joy of one friend led to anger or to have another friend. Why? Everything is very simple, they were brought together common problems. One woman ran out of problems, the commonality of views disappeared.

Imagine what they are going to talk about now?

If given general characteristics true friendship, That plain language can be expressed - these are people of the same status who are in similar situations and have similar goals in life.

why friends betray

From the above, it turns out that since these people have the same goals, then if one friend achieves the intended goal, then the second one begins to feel anger and disappointment, basically he turns to another person with a similar situation and begins to pour out all his pain.

I know him, he is so-and-so and stupid, but he was lucky, and I'm so good, but I'm not lucky ...

All the innermost secrets of a friend become known to other people.

Sometimes the betrayal of a friend is material or personal.

If you have to choose between your happiness and the happiness of your girlfriend, 90% will choose their happiness in exchange for the joy of a friend or girlfriend. Everything is simple.

If it means your friend is missing personal growth. And you have a lesson for the future, tell less about yourself and learn to be responsible for yourself and solve your problems yourself. TO strong personality people are reaching out. And if a friend betrayed you, for you it will be a push forward on new level, perhaps you stayed too long in one place.

Real friendship

And one last look at this problem. Each person has their own criteria for betrayal. What is betrayal for you, for your friend can be considered the norm. You think that the man you met first is YOUR man, and YOUR girlfriend thinks that there is no difference. Whom this man looked at, that he belongs to. For her, there is no betrayal in this gesture, but for you there is.

And most importantly, always put yourself in your friend's shoes. What would you do in this situation? Perhaps then you will understand the motives of betrayal. Solve the problem, break the friendship or forgive the friend.

Be confident be the dream woman, then many problems will simply leave your life.

I wish you happiness and personal growth.

Sincerely, Angelica.

Interesting information coming soon!