How to properly raise a son? How to make a son a real man?
The issue of raising boys is of concern not only to single mothers who are acutely experiencing the departure of often the only man to whom they had tender feelings. These are the questions most parents ask. Especially in cities with a population of over a million!
The modern world dictates its own terms, sometimes not in better side. Freedom of choice, effeminate idols of show business, propaganda of homosexuality - female education blurs the line between a man and a woman.
And how can real gamers who live in their virtual world raise their son?
In my practice as a personal kickboxing trainer, I had to deal with “sissy” and make them not only real fighters, but also real men. And all because the father does not devote time to raising his son or does not know how to do it.
Of great importance is the positive example of a man in the family. When dad is a real man, most likely, the son will be equal to him and imitate him in every possible way. Therefore, do not underestimate the role of the mother in this difficult process. If the mother respects and loves the father, admires him, the boy will also strive to become like his father.
Otherwise, when a mother in front of the children in every possible way humiliates, “saws” her man, shows disrespect to him, there is every chance to raise insecure males who will never become real men. Yes, and the father will strive to be at home less. He goes to work, he is calmer there.
Earlier, when I tried to educate my nephew and give advice to my sister, she answered me: “Here will be your children, then bring up as you want!”
Of course, I have long been ready to become a father. Wishes tend to come true!
On May 14, 2015, I was the happiest person on the planet - my son was born! I became a DAD!!!
"Don't educate children, educate yourself - because children will still be like you"
From the first days of my son's birth, I try to be at home more often, next to him. I read a bunch of articles and books about child development. But no theory will not convey the feelings that you experience when you become a parent. That heartbreak feeling when a baby starts crying. Or an unprecedented joy when a child suddenly smiles.
At such moments, it doesn’t matter if you are tired, sleepless or hungry. There is the little Prince, whom you love and is ready to do everything at the first call.
Of course, this will not always be the case. Son learns about male independence!
How will I raise a real man:
- I'll give it to him good manners: consume polite words“thank you” and “please”, offer help, shake hands with women, give up your seat on public transport, etc. These skills will make the world around him a little better and kinder.
- Teach my son to show his feelings. Small child may hide his face in embarrassment, scream in despair, cry in fear, or bite in excitement. All of these are normal emotions. They dictate to the body how to behave. I will discuss with my son and my own emotions. He will learn to deal with emotions normally, to express them competently, while not feeling embarrassed or guilty.
- It is also worth accustoming your son to order: keep cleanliness, cook food, etc. Yes, it may well be that such skills will never be useful to him, but he will be able to help his parents and be ready for an independent life.
- Getting your child to read is the responsibility of every parent. Every person needs to read books. You can learn through books the world, learn the necessary information, become literate and culturally developed person. Discussing what you read and fantasizing about it is always helpful.
- Of course, my son will receive a sports education. Sport develops the body, willpower, necessary qualities and good habits. Many people think that my son will be a kickboxing champion. But I'm not going to force him to devote his life to kickboxing. It will be his choice!
- I will teach my son not only to protect himself and his loved ones, but also to lose. As much as I would like to, my baby can't always be a winner. But that doesn't mean you have to give up and quit. Mistakes open up further possibilities. And they should become a new breakthrough to victory.
- Also, the son should know that practice helps a lot in achieving perfection. Namely . This applies not only to sports, but to all things in life.
Of course, it is necessary to accustom a child to sports gradually. At least one exercise per muscle group and three sets per day. After all, big things always start small.
In addition, sport creates an environment for personal growth. This is the ability to set a goal, and the ability to calculate strength, and difficult for people outside of sports - time management. Enjoy! Rejoice in success together!
Maybe my son will not be a super champion, but he will definitely become good and happy man. He will be a real man who will make right choice about your future!
Some people think that the mother plays the most important role in the upbringing and life of a toddler, but there are things a father can certainly do better. This is even more true when we are talking about a son.
FROM early years the boy is sent to kindergarten, and then to school, where in 90% of cases women are involved in his upbringing. As a result, the child lacks male education.
We will tell you about those things that only a father can teach a boy.
Explain why it is so important to be able to win and lose
Who, besides friends, is the best company for a child in various games and competitions? Of course, dad. it good time for development in a boy male qualities. During the games, the child will be able to feel the taste of victory and understand how much effort is required to achieve his goal.
For a father, such games are great opportunity explain to your son that defeat is inevitable. If he falls, he should just get up and keep going, because there is nothing shameful in failures.
Explain how to treat women properly
A mother can also tell her son how to treat women, but only a father is able to show all this on own example. It is very important that the son learns this from his father, and not from friends or, even worse, from the Internet. Take your son with you when you buy flowers for his mom. Make it so that he sees how you communicate politely with unknown women, for example, cashiers in a store. It's not that difficult, is it?
Talk to him like a man about love
This advice follows from the previous one. Let your son learn from you about this feeling during a male conversation when the time comes. For a teenager, this will be a valuable gift, especially if the father tells about his first love and first date and that there is no need to rush, but rather wait right girl that can light a spark in his soul. Such conversations are extremely useful for mutual trust.
Teach him how to stand up for himself
father is the only person who can teach his son how to be strong, tough and be able to defend himself. He can teach the boy to determine when it is worth responding so that the enemy is afraid to approach him, and when not to succumb to provocations. A father can explain to his son and show by his own example that kindness is not weakness.
Help your child to form his views on the world
You don't even have to do anything special. You just need to be close to the child and talk to him. The boy must understand that there is not only a mother with her requirements and expectations, but also another person with a different approach.
Of course when we are talking about education, parents should adhere to the same views. But in terms of world views, their philosophy can be very different. Thanks to the father, the child will be able to understand that there are several points of view on the same phenomenon, learn to analyze and form his own point of view.
Help your son understand that love can be shown in different ways.
Even a 6-month-old baby can feel the difference between the manifestations of mother's and father's love. Unlike mothers, with their hugs and caresses, fathers prefer active games. Moms usually feel a quiet horror when they see all this, but the child gets new experience, as well as many visual, auditory and tactile sensations.
Teach him manly things
There are things that look like magic to most women. This, for example, kindling a fire, hammering nails, repairing a car. Even if your son is 100% an "urban" kid, there is no doubt that the ability to start a fire will be useful to him in the future. In any company, the skills described above will add 100 points to your son's reputation.
Help him improve routine skills
Of course, we are talking about tying a tie, shaving and ironing shirts. Although today the answer to any question can be found on the Internet, it's hard not to admit that it would be much better if a son learns this from his father. Moreover, who, if not a father, will be able to show the boy that men can also cook. Well, at least not to starve to death.
A mother sees a baby in her child all her conscious life. The father is only an adult. Accordingly, the approach to education is determined. For a woman, the results of upbringing are not as important as the process itself. It is important for her to be close to the child, to take care of him, to give her love. She experiences happiness from this.
For a man, the result is important - what kind of person he will eventually raise: successful or loser, decent or scoundrel. He does not enjoy the process itself, as a woman does, but makes every effort to ensure that the result is of the highest quality. In this sense, a woman, as Nikolai Kozlov defined, is a “process worker”, and a man is a “resultant”.
Fatherly love is pride in the “fruits” of one’s labor, which are good well-behaved son or daughter. Men are more categorical and demanding in matters of education. They shape the younger generation moral standards: responsibility, purposefulness, willpower, decency. A child will not receive paternal love if he is not good, socially successful, etc. The mother, on the other hand, instills in the child such feelings as trust in the world, the ability to deeply feel and sympathize with another.
The main quality of the male type of education is responsibility. The father takes on the responsibility of raising a useful member of society. Based on the results of his work, he evaluates whether he completed the task or not. For a mother, the main thing is taking care of her child, realizing that he is happy (and it is not so important what social status he will take).
Scientists from the Center for Behavior and Evolution, which was established at Newcastle University (UK), conducted a long-term experiment. For 50 years, the data of 5600 people born at the same time were carefully analyzed. Some children were brought up in complete families; other mothers were cared for alone.
In 2004, the results were summed up. It turned out that children who were raised by their fathers became more successful than those who were raised only by their mothers. But demanding parenting is important not only in terms of better adaptation of the child in society. It is also important in terms of the development of its higher moral qualities. Maternal love can make a person happier and more harmonious in personal terms.
