The story of how one man fed two generals
Once upon a time there were two generals, and since both were frivolous, then soon, according to pike command, at my will, found themselves on a desert island.
The generals served all their lives in some kind of registry; there they were born, brought up and grew old, therefore, they did not understand anything. They didn’t even know any words, except: “Accept the assurance of my perfect respect and devotion.”
The registry was abolished as unnecessary and the generals were released into the wild. Left behind the state, they settled in St. Petersburg, in Podyacheskaya street, on different apartments; each had his own cook and received a pension. Only suddenly they found themselves on a desert island, woke up and saw: both were lying under the same blanket. Of course, at first they did not understand anything and began to talk as if nothing had happened to them.
- Strange, Your Excellency, I had a dream today, - said one general, - I see that I live on a desert island ...
He said this, but all of a sudden he jumps up! Another general also jumped up.
- God! yes, what is it! Where are we! Both cried out in unnatural voices.
And they began to feel each other, as if not in a dream, but in reality such an opportunity happened to them. However, no matter how hard they tried to convince themselves that all this was nothing more than a dream, they had to be convinced of the sad reality.
In front of them on one side was the sea, on the other side lay a small piece of land, behind which was the same boundless sea. The generals cried for the first time after they closed the registry.
They began to examine each other and saw that they were in nightgowns, and on their necks hung an order.
- Now it would be good to drink coffee! - said one general, but he remembered what an unheard-of thing had happened to him, and for the second time he began to cry.
What are we going to do, though? he continued through tears, “if you write a report now, what good will come of it?”
- That's what, - answered another general, - go you, Your Excellency, to the east, and I will go to the west, and in the evening we will meet again at this place; maybe we'll find something.
They began to look for where the east is and where the west is. They remembered how the boss once said: “If you want to find the east, then stand with your eyes to the north, and in right hand you will get what you want." They began to look for the north, stood this way and that, tried all the countries of the world, but since they had served in the registry all their lives, they did not find anything.
- Here's what, Your Excellency: you go to the right, and I to the left; that way it will be better! - said one general, who, in addition to the registrar, served as a teacher of calligraphy at the school of military cantonists and, therefore, was smarter.
No sooner said than done. One general went to the right and saw that trees were growing, and there were all sorts of fruits on the trees. The general wants to get at least one apple, but they all hang so high that they have to climb. I tried to climb - nothing came of it, I just tore my shirt off. The general came to the stream, he sees: the fish there, as if in a cage on the Fontanka, are teeming and teeming.
“Here, if only some kind of fish and on Podyacheskaya!” - thought the general, and even his face changed from appetite.
The general went into the forest - and there the hazel grouse whistled, the black grouse lek, the hares ran.
- God! some food! some food! - said the general, feeling that he was already starting to feel sick.
There was nothing to do, I had to return to the agreed place empty-handed. He comes, and another general is already waiting.
“Well, Your Excellency, did you provide something?”
- Yes, I found the old issue of Moskovskie Vedomosti, and nothing more!
The generals went to bed again, but they could not sleep on an empty stomach. Either they are worried about who will receive a pension for them, or they recall the fruits they saw during the day, fish, hazel grouse, black grouse, hares.
- Who would have thought, Your Excellency, that human food, in its original form, flies, swims and grows on trees? one general said.
“Yes,” answered another general, “to confess, and I still thought that rolls would be born in the same form as they are served with coffee in the morning!”
- So, if, for example, someone wants to eat a partridge, he must first catch it, kill it, pluck it, roast it ... But how to do all this?
– How to do all this? - like an echo, repeated the other general.
They fell silent and began to try to sleep; but hunger decisively drove away sleep. Fritillaries, turkeys, piglets flashed before my eyes, juicy, lightly browned, with cucumbers, pickles and other salad.
- Now I think I would eat my own boot! one general said.
- Gloves are also good when they are worn for a long time! the other general sighed.
Suddenly, both generals looked at each other: an ominous fire shone in their eyes, their teeth chattered, a dull growl flew out of their chests. They began to slowly crawl towards each other and in the blink of an eye went berserk. Shreds flew, there was a screech and groan; the general, who was a calligraphy teacher, bit off an order from his comrade and immediately swallowed it. But the sight of flowing blood seemed to bring them to their senses.
- The power of the cross is with us! - they both said at once, - because that way we will eat each other! And how did we get here! who is the villain who played such a thing on us!
- It is necessary, Your Excellency, to amuse ourselves with some conversation, otherwise we will have a murder here! one general said.
- Get started! replied another general.
- How, for example, do you think why the sun rises first and then sets, and not vice versa?
“You are a strange man, Your Excellency: but you also get up first, go to the department, write there, and then go to bed?”
- But why not allow such a rearrangement: first I go to bed, I see various dreams and then I get up?
- Hm ... yes ... And, to be honest, as I served in the department, I always thought this way: “Now it’s morning, and then it will be day, and then they will serve dinner - and it’s time to sleep!”
But the mention of dinner both plunged into despondency and stopped the conversation at the very beginning.
- I heard from a doctor that a person can for a long time to feed on your own juices,” one general began again.
- How so?
- Yes, sir. Their own juices seem to produce other juices, these, in turn, still produce juices, and so on, until, finally, the juices stop altogether ...
“Then what is it?”
“Then you need to eat some food ...
In a word, whatever the generals started talking about, it constantly boiled down to the recollection of food, and this irritated the appetite even more. They decided: to stop talking, and, remembering the number of Moskovskie Vedomosti they had found, they eagerly began to read it.
“Yesterday,” one general read in an excited voice, “at the venerable chief of our ancient capital was a formal dinner. The table was set for a hundred people with amazing luxury. The gifts of all countries appointed themselves, as it were, a rendezvous on this magical holiday. There was also “Sheksnin’s golden sterlet”, and a pet of the Caucasian forests - a pheasant, and, so rare in our north in February, strawberries ... "
- Pah, sir! can't you find another object, Your Excellency? another general exclaimed in despair, and, taking a newspaper from his comrade, he read the following:
“They write from Tula: yesterday, on the occasion of the capture of a sturgeon in the Upa River (an incident that even the old-timers will not remember, especially since a private bailiff B. was identified in the sturgeon), there was a festival in the local club. The hero of the occasion was brought in on a huge wooden dish, overlaid with cucumbers and holding a piece of greenery in his mouth. Dr. P., who on the same day was the foreman on duty, carefully watched that all the guests received a piece. The gravy was the most varied and even almost whimsical ... "
- Excuse me, Your Excellency, and you do not seem to be too careful in choosing your reading! - interrupted the first general and, taking, in turn, the newspaper, read:
“They write from Vyatka: one of the local old-timers invented the following original way preparation of fish soup: taking a live burbot, first carve it; when, from grief, his liver will increase ... "
The generals bowed their heads. Everything they looked at was evidence of food. Their own thoughts were plotting against them, for no matter how hard they tried to drive away the ideas of steaks, but these ideas fought their way in a violent way.
And suddenly the general, who was a teacher of calligraphy, was inspired...
“And what, Your Excellency,” he said joyfully, “if we could find a peasant?”
- That is, how about ... a man?
- Well, yes, a simple peasant ... what kind of peasants usually are! He would have given us a roll now, and he would have caught grouse, and fish!
“Hm… a peasant… but where can I get him, this peasant, when he’s gone?”
- Just as there is no man - there is a man everywhere, you just have to look for him! He must be hiding somewhere, slacking off work!
This thought encouraged the generals to such an extent that they jumped up as if ruffled and set off in search of the muzhik.
For a long time they wandered about the island without any success, but at last the sharp smell of chaff bread and sour sheepskin brought them to the trail. Under a tree, with his belly up and his fist under his head, a huge man was sleeping and in the most insolent way shied away from work. The indignation of the generals knew no bounds.
- Sleep, couch potato! - they pounced on him, - I suppose you don’t know with your ear that here two generals are dying of hunger for the second day! now march to work!
A man got up: he sees that the generals are strict. I wanted to give them an arrow, but they just froze, clinging to him.
And he began to act before them.
First of all, he climbed a tree and picked the generals ten of the most ripe apples, and took one, sour, for himself. Then he dug in the ground - and got potatoes from there; then he took two pieces of wood, rubbed them together, and drew fire. Then he made a snare out of his own hair and caught a hazel grouse. Finally, he lit a fire and baked so many different provisions that it even occurred to the generals: “Shouldn’t we give the parasite a piece?”
The generals looked at these peasant efforts, and their hearts played merrily. They have already forgotten that yesterday they almost died of hunger, and they thought: “This is how good it is to be generals - you won’t get lost anywhere!”
Are you satisfied, gentlemen generals? meanwhile the couch potato asked.
- Satisfied, dear friend, we see your zeal! the generals replied.
"Will you let me rest now?"
- Take a rest, my friend, just put the rope first.
Now the man had collected wild hemp, soaked it in water, beat it, crushed it - and by the evening the rope was ready. With this rope, the generals tied the man to a tree so that he would not run away, but they themselves went to bed.
A day passed, another passed; the peasant was so contrived that he even began to cook soup in a handful. Our generals became cheerful, loose, well-fed, white. They began to say that here they are living on everything ready, and in St. Petersburg, meanwhile, their pensions are accumulating and accumulating.
- And what do you think, Your Excellency, was there really a Babylonian pandemonium, or is it just that, one allegory? - says, it happened, one general to another, after breakfast.
- I think, Your Excellency, what really happened, because otherwise how can one explain that there are different languages!
“So there was a flood, too?”
– And there was a flood, because, otherwise, how could the existence of antediluvian animals be explained? Moreover, in the "Moskovskie Vedomosti" they tell ...
They will find the number, sit under the shade, read from board to board, as they ate in Moscow, ate in Tula, ate in Penza, ate in Ryazan - and nothing, they don’t feel sick!
How long, how short, but the generals missed. More and more often they began to recall the cooks they had left behind in St. Petersburg, and even wept quietly.
- Is something being done in Podyacheskaya now, Your Excellency? one general asked another.
“Don’t speak, Your Excellency!” all the heart is gone! replied another general.
- Well, it's good here - there is no word! and everything, you know, is somehow embarrassing for a lamb without a yar! Yes, and the uniform is also a pity!
- What a pity! Especially, as the fourth grade, so look at one sewing, your head will spin!
And they began to force the peasant: imagine yes, imagine them in Podyacheskaya! And so what! it turned out that the peasant even knew Podyachkaya, that he had been there, he drank honey-beer, it flowed down his mustache, it didn’t get into his mouth!
- But Podyachesky and I are generals! the generals rejoiced.
- And I, if you saw: a man is hanging outside the house, in a box on a rope, and smears the wall with paint, or like a fly walks on the roof - this is who I am! - answered the man.
And the peasant began to breed on beans, how would he please his generals for the fact that they favored him, a parasite, and did not disdain his peasant labor! And he built a ship - not a ship, but such a vessel that it was possible to cross the ocean-sea all the way to Podyacheskaya.
“Look, however, scoundrels, don’t drown us!” - said the generals, seeing the boat rocking on the waves.
- Be calm, gentlemen generals, not the first time! - answered the peasant and began to prepare for departure.
The man picked up soft swan fluff and covered the bottom of the boat with it. Having laid them down, he laid the generals on the bottom and, having crossed himself, swam. How much fear the generals gained during the journey from storms and from different winds, how much they scolded the man for his parasitism - this cannot be described with a pen, nor can be said in a fairy tale. And the peasant rows and rows and feeds the generals with herrings.
Here, finally, is Mother Neva, here is Catherine's glorious canal, here is Bolshaya Podyacheskaya! The cooks threw up their hands, seeing how well-fed, white and cheerful their generals had become! The generals got drunk on coffee, ate buns and put on their uniforms. They went to the treasury, and how much money they raked in - that cannot be said in a fairy tale, not described with a pen!
However, the peasant was not forgotten either; they sent him a glass of vodka and a nickel of silver: have fun, man!
1869
wild landlord
In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, there lived a landowner, he lived and looked at the light and rejoiced. He had enough of everything: peasants, and bread, and cattle, and land, and gardens. And that landowner was stupid, he read the newspaper "Vest" and his body was soft, white and crumbly.
Only this landowner once prayed to God:
- God! I am pleased with everything from you, awarded everything! Only one thing is unbearable to my heart: there are too many peasants divorced in our kingdom!
But God knew that the landowner was stupid, and did not heed his request.
The landowner sees that the muzhik does not decrease every day, but everything arrives, - he sees and fears: “Well, how will he get all the goods from me?”
The landowner will look into the newspaper "Vest", as in this case it should be done, and will read: "Try!"
“Only one word has been written,” says the stupid landowner, “and this is a golden word!”
And he began to try, and not just somehow, but everything according to the rule. If a peasant chicken wanders into the master's oats - now, as a rule, it is in soup; if a peasant gathers to chop wood in secret in the master's forest - now this very firewood is sent to the master's yard, and, as a rule, a fine is imposed on the chopper.
– I now act on them with these fines more! - says the landowner to his neighbors, - because for them it is more understandable.
The peasants see: although their landowner is stupid, he has a great mind. He reduced them so that there was nowhere to stick his nose: wherever they look - everything is impossible, but not allowed, but not yours! The cattle will go out to the watering place - the landowner shouts: “My water!”, The chicken will wander out of the outskirts - the landowner shouts: “My land!” And earth, and water, and air - all of it became! There was no torch for the peasant to light in the light, there was no more rod than to sweep the hut. So the peasants prayed with the whole world to the Lord God:
- God! It’s easier for us to disappear even with small children than to suffer like this all our lives!
The merciful God heard the orphan's tearful prayer, and there was no peasant in the entire space of the possessions of the stupid landowner. No one noticed where the peasant had gone, but people only saw how suddenly a whirlwind of chaff arose and, like a black cloud, the peasant's trousers swept through the air. The landowner went out onto the balcony, pulled his nose and smelled: clean, pure air in all his possessions became. Naturally, he was pleased. He thinks: “Now I will carry my white body, my body is white, loose, crumbly!”
And he began to live and live and began to think how he could console his soul.
“I’ll start, I think, the theater is at my place! I will write to the actor Sadovsky: come, they say, dear friend! And bring the actors with you!”
The actor Sadovsky obeyed: he himself came and brought the actors. He only sees that the landowner's house is empty and there is no one to put up a theater and there is no one to raise the curtain.
“Where are you sending your peasants?” - Sadovsky asks the landowner.
- But God, by my prayer, cleared all my possessions from the peasant!
“However, brother, you stupid landowner! who gives you, stupid, a wash?
- Yes, I go unwashed for many days!
- So, are you going to grow champignons on your face? - said Sadovsky, and with this word he left, and took the actors away.
The landowner remembered that he had four general acquaintances nearby; thinks: “What am I doing all grand solitaire and grand solitaire! I’ll try to play a bullet or two with the five of the generals!”
No sooner said than done: I wrote invitations, appointed a day and sent letters to the address. Although the generals were real, they were hungry, and therefore they arrived very soon. We arrived - and cannot be surprised why the landowner has such fresh air became.
“And because it is,” the landowner boasts, “that God, through my prayer, cleared all my possessions from the peasant!”
- Oh, how good it is! - the generals praise the landowner, - so now you will not have this servile smell at all?
“Not at all,” the landlord replies.
They played a bullet, they played another; the generals feel that their time has come to drink vodka, they become restless, look around.
- It must be that you, gentlemen generals, wanted to have a bite to eat? the landowner asks.
- It would not be bad, mister landowner!
He got up from the table, went to the cupboard and took out a lollipop and a printed gingerbread for each person.
– What is it? the generals ask, bulging their eyes at him.
“Here, eat what God sent!”
- Yes, we would have beef! beef to us!
“Well, I don’t have any beef about you, gentlemen, generals, because since God delivered me from the peasant, the stove in the kitchen has not been heated!
The generals got angry with him, so that even their teeth chattered.
“But you eat something yourself, don’t you?” they pounced on him.
- I eat some raw materials, but there are still gingerbread cookies ...
“However, brother, you are a stupid landowner! - said the generals and, without finishing the bullets, dispersed to their homes.
The landowner saw that another time he was being honored as a fool, and he wanted to think about it, but since at that time a deck of cards caught his eye, he waved his hand at everything and began to lay out grand solitaire.
“Let's see,” he says, “Messrs. liberals, who will defeat whom!” I will show you what true fortitude of the soul can do!
He lays out the "ladies' whim" and thinks: "If it comes out three times in a row, therefore, we must not look at it." And as luck would have it, no matter how many times he decomposes - everything comes out with him, everything comes out! There was not even any doubt left in him.
“If,” he says, “fortune itself indicates, therefore, we must remain firm to the end. And now, for now, enough grand solitaire to lay out, I'll go and do it!
And so he walks, walks through the rooms, then sits down and sits. And everyone thinks. He thinks what kind of cars he will order from England, so that everything will be by ferry and steam, but there will be no servile spirit at all. He thinks what kind of orchard he will plant: “Here there will be pears, plums; here are peaches, here are walnuts!” He looks out the window - everything is there, as he planned, everything is exactly the way it is! Pear, peach, apricot trees break, at the behest of a pike, under a load of fruits, and he only knows the fruits by machines and puts them in his mouth! He thinks what kind of cows he will breed, that no skin, no meat, but all one milk, all milk! He thinks about what kind of strawberries he will plant, all double and triple, five berries per pound, and how many of these strawberries he will sell in Moscow. Finally, he gets tired of thinking, he goes to the mirror to look - and there is already an inch of dust ...
- Senka! - he suddenly shouts, forgetting himself, but then he catches himself and says, - well, let him stand for the time being, for the time being! and I will prove to these liberals what hardness of soul can do!
It will shine in this manner until it gets dark - and sleep!
And in a dream, dreams are even more fun than in reality, they dream. He dreams that the governor himself found out about his landowner's inflexibility and asks the police officer: "What kind of hard chicken son did you have in the district?" Then he dreams that he was made a minister for this very inflexibility, and he walks in ribbons, and writes circulars: “Be firm and do not look!” Then he dreams that he walks along the banks of the Euphrates and the Tigris ...
Eva, my friend! he says.
But now I reviewed all my dreams: I have to get up.
- Senka! he shouts again, forgetting himself, but suddenly he remembers ... and bows his head.
- What would you like to do, though? he asks himself.
And at this word of his, the police captain himself suddenly arrives. The stupid landowner rejoiced at him inexpressibly; ran into the cupboard, took out two printed gingerbread and thought: “Well, this one, it seems, will be satisfied!”
- Tell me, please, Mr. landowner, by what miracle did all your temporarily liable suddenly disappear? - asks the police officer.
- And so and so, God, through my prayer, completely cleared all my possessions from the peasant!
- Yes, sir; But don't you know, Mr. landowner, who will pay taxes for them?
- Give? .. it's them! it's them themselves! it is their sacred duty and obligation!
- Yes, sir; and in what manner can this tax be exacted from them, if, through your prayer, they are scattered over the face of the earth?
“That’s… I don’t know… I, for my part, don’t agree to pay!”
- Do you know, Mr. landowner, that the treasury cannot exist without taxes and duties, and even more so without wine and salt regalia?
“I’m… I’m ready!” a glass of vodka... I'll cry!
“But do you know that, by your grace, you can’t buy a piece of meat or a pound of bread in our market?” do you know what it smells like?
- Have mercy! I, for my part, am ready to donate! here are two whole gingerbread!
“You are stupid, mister landowner! - said the police officer, turned and left, not even looking at the printed gingerbread.
This time the landowner thought seriously. Now the third person is honoring him with a fool, the third person will look, look at him, spit and walk away. Is he really a fool? Is it possible that the inflexibility that he so cherished in his soul, translated into ordinary language, means only stupidity and madness? and is it possible that, as a result of his inflexibility, both taxes and regalia stopped, and it became impossible to get a pound of flour or a piece of meat in the market?
And how stupid he was a landowner, at first he even snorted with pleasure at the thought of what trick he had played, but then he remembered the words of the police chief: “Do you know what it smells like?” - and he chickened out in earnest.
As usual, he began to walk up and down the rooms and kept thinking: “What does this smell like? Doesn't it smell like some sort of homestead? for example, Cheboksary? or perhaps Varnavin?”
- If only in Cheboksary, or something! at least the world would be convinced of what firmness of soul means! - says the landowner, and secretly from himself he already thinks: “In Cheboksary, maybe I would see my dear peasant!”
The landowner walks around, and sits, and walks around again. Whatever it comes up with, everything seems to say just like that: “And you are stupid, mister landowner!” He sees a little mouse running across the room and stealing towards the cards with which he made grand solitaire and already oiled it enough to excite the mouse's appetite with them.
“Kshsh…” he rushed at the little mouse.
But the mouse was smart and understood that the landowner without Senka could not do him any harm. He only wagged his tail in response to the landowner's menacing exclamation, and in a moment was already looking at him from under the sofa, as if to say: “Wait a minute, stupid landowner! it's only the beginning! I’m not only cards, but I’ll eat your robe, how you oil it properly!
How much, how little time has passed, only the landowner sees that in his garden the paths are overgrown with burdock, in the bushes snakes and all kinds of reptiles are swarming, and in the park wild animals howl. Once a bear came up to the estate itself, squatted down, looked out the windows at the landowner and licked his lips.
- Senka! cried the landowner, but suddenly caught himself ... and began to cry.
However, the firmness of the soul still did not leave him. Several times he weakened, but as soon as he felt that his heart began to dissolve, he would immediately rush to the Vest newspaper and in one minute become hardened again.
- No, I'd rather go completely wild, it would be better if I wandered through the forests with wild animals, but let no one say that the Russian nobleman, Prince Urus-Kuchum-Kildibaev, retreated from principles!
And so he went wild. Although autumn had already come at that time, and the frosts were decent, he did not even feel the cold. All of him, from head to toe, was covered with hair, like the ancient Esau, and his nails became like iron. He had long ago stopped blowing his nose, but he walked more and more on all fours and was even surprised that he had not noticed before that this way of walking was the most decent and most convenient. He even lost the ability to utter articulate sounds and acquired some special victorious click, an average between a whistle, hiss and bark. But the tail has not yet acquired.
He will go out into his park, in which he once did not live his body loose, white, crumbly, like a cat, in an instant, he will climb to the very top of the tree and guard from there. He will come running, this, the hare, will stand on his hind legs and listen, if there is any danger from where, - and he is already right there. Like an arrow, it will jump off a tree, grab onto its prey, tear it apart with its nails, and so on with all the insides, even with the skin, and eat it.
And he became terribly strong, so strong that he even considered himself entitled to enter into friendly relations with the same bear that once looked at him through the window.
- Do you want, Mikhailo Ivanovich, we will do trips together on hares? he said to the bear.
- Want - why not want! - answered the bear, - only, brother, you destroyed this peasant in vain!
- And why?
- But because this peasant is not an example more capable than your noble brother. And so I'll tell you straight out: you're a stupid landowner, even though you're my friend!
Meanwhile, the police captain, although patronizing the landowners, did not dare to remain silent in view of such a fact as the disappearance of a peasant from the face of the earth. The provincial authorities were also alarmed by his report, writing to him: “And what do you think, who will pay taxes now? who will drink wine in taverns? who will be engaged in innocent occupations? The police captain answers: now the treasury should be abolished, and innocent occupations have been abolished by themselves, instead of them robberies, robbery and murders have spread in the county. The other day, de, and he, the police officer, some bear is not a bear, a man is not a man, he almost pulled up, in which man-bear he suspects that same stupid landowner, who is the instigator of all confusion.
The chiefs were worried and gathered a council. They decided: to catch and install the peasant, and to inspire the stupid landowner, who is the instigator of all the turmoil, in the most delicate way, so that he would stop his fanfare and do not interfere with the receipt of taxes in the treasury.
As if on purpose, at this time through provincial city a swarm of peasants flew in and showered the entire market square. Now this grace has been taken away, put in a basket and sent to the county.
And suddenly there was again a smell in that district of chaff and sheepskins; but at the same time, flour, and meat, and all kinds of living creatures appeared in the bazaar, and so many taxes were received in one day that the treasurer, seeing such a pile of money, only clasped his hands in surprise and cried out:
- And where do you, rogues, take !!
"What happened, however, to the landowner?" readers will ask me. To this, I can say that, although with great difficulty, they caught him. Having caught them, they immediately blew their nose, washed and trimmed their nails. Then the police captain gave him a proper reprimand, took away the newspaper "Vest" and, entrusting him with Senka's supervision, left.
He is alive to this day. He lays out grand solitaire, yearns for his former life in the forests, washes only under duress, and hums from time to time.
"Domestic sheep from time immemorial live in enslavement to humans; their real ancestors are unknown." - Bram
Have domestic rams ever been "free" - history is silent about this. In the deepest antiquity, the patriarchs already possessed herds of tamed rams, and then, through all the ages, the ram passes spread over the whole face of the earth as an animal, as if deliberately created for the needs of man. Man, in turn, creates whole special breeds of sheep, which have almost nothing in common with each other. Some are brought up for meat, others for fat, others for warm sheepskins, and others for a rich and soft wave.
Another beast, probably, would have been touched by the selflessness of the hare, would not have limited himself to a promise, but now would have had mercy. But of all the predators found in temperate and northern climates, the wolf is the least accessible to generosity.
However, he is not so cruel of his own free will, but because his complexion is tricky: he cannot eat anything but meat. And in order to get meat food, he cannot act otherwise than to deprive a living being of life. In a word, he undertakes to commit villainy, robbery.
In a certain kingdom, the Bogatyr was born. Baba Yaga gave birth to him, brought him to drink, nursed him, groomed him, and when he Kolomna verst grew up, she herself went to rest in the desert, and let him go on all four sides: "Go, Bogatyr, perform feats!"
Of course, first of all, the Bogatyr hit the forest; he sees one oak stands - he uprooted it; he sees another standing - he broke him in half with his fist; sees the third one standing and there is a hollow in it - the Bogatyr climbed into the hollow and fell asleep.
The green oak-tree mother groaned from his rolling snores; fierce beasts fled from the forest, feathered birds flew; the goblin himself was so frightened that he took a lesha with leshas in his armful - and he was like that.
Trezorka served as a watchman at the storehouse of the Moscow 2nd guild of the merchant Vorotilov and guarded the master's goodness with an unsleeping eye. Never left the kennel; I didn’t even see the Zhivoderka, on which the storage shed stood, in a real way: from morning to evening, it jumps on chains, and it floods! Caveant consuls! [Let the consuls be vigilant! (lat.)]
And he was wise, he never barked at his own people, but all at strangers. It used to happen that the master's coachman would steal oats - Trezorka waving his tail, thinking: "How much does the coachman need!" And if a passer-by happens to go past the yard on his own business - Trezorka will hear somewhere else: "Ah, fathers, thieves!"
The merchant Vorotilov saw Trezorkin's service and said: "There is no price for this dog!" And if it happened to pass a dog kennel in the storehouse, he would certainly say: "Give Trezorka slop!" And Trezorka climbs out of her skin with delight: "We are glad to try, your degree! .. ham-am! rest, your degree, calmly ... ham ... am ... am ... am!"
The whole heart of the old raven ached. They exterminate the crow race: who is not lazy, everyone beats him. And at least for the sake of profit, otherwise just for fun. Yes, and the crow itself was exhausted. There is no trace of the former prophetic croaking; crows will shower the birch in a crowd and shout in vain: "Here we are!" Naturally, now - bang! - and a dozen or two in the flock as if it had never happened. The food of the former, free, also disappeared. The forests were cut down all around, the swamps were dried up, the animals were stolen - there is no way to feed yourself in an honest way. The crows began to dart around the gardens, orchards, and barnyards. And for this again - bang! - and again a dozen or two in the flock as if it had never happened! It’s good that crows are fruitful, otherwise who would pay tribute to the gyrfalcon, the hawk, and the golden eagle?
He, the old man, will begin to exhort his younger brothers: "Do not croak in vain! Do not fly around other people's gardens!" - Yes, only one answer is heard: “Nothing, you old horseradish, you don’t understand new things! You can’t not steal at the present time.
Vobla was caught, cleaned out the insides (only milk for the offspring was left) and hung on a string in the sun: let it dry. The roach hung for a day or two, and on the third, the skin on her belly wrinkled, and her head dried up, and the brain that was in her head was weathered, became flabby.
Look into any Zoology and look at the picture of the hyena. Her pointed muzzle speaks neither of slyness, nor of trickery, nor, all the less, of cruelty, but even seems pretty.
She makes this good impression thanks to her small eyes, in which benevolence shines. Other sharp-nosed ones have clear, quick, shining eyes, a hard, carnivorous gaze; her eyes are languid, moist, her gaze is benevolent, inviting to trust. Priests have such touching eyes when they gather, ad majorem Dei gloriam [to the greater glory of God (lat.)], in the conscience of the flock to rummage around.
In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, there lived a landowner, he lived and looked at the light and rejoiced. He had enough of everything: peasants, and bread, and cattle, and land, and gardens. And that landowner was stupid, he read the newspaper "Vest *" and his body was soft, white and crumbly.
The well-known writer Mikhail Evgrafovich Saltykov-Shchedrin was a truly great creator. As an official, he masterfully denounced the ignorant nobles and praised the simple Russian people. Tales of Saltykov-Shchedrin, the list of which includes more than a dozen, are the property of our classical literature.
"Wild Landlord"
All Mikhail Evgrafovich's fairy tales are written with sharp sarcasm. With the help of heroes (animals or people), he ridicules not so much human vices as stupidity higher ranks. The tales of Saltykov-Shchedrin, the list of which would be incomplete without the story of the wild landowner, help us to see the attitude of the nobles of the 19th century towards their serfs. The story is short, but it makes you think about many serious things.
Landowner with strange name Urus Kuchum Kildibaev lives for his own pleasure: he gathers a rich harvest, has luxurious housing and a lot of land. But one day he got tired of the abundance of peasants in his house and decided to get rid of them. The landowner prayed to God, but he did not heed his requests. He began to mock the peasants in every possible way, began to crush them with taxes. And then the Lord took pity on them, and they disappeared.
At first, the stupid landowner was happy: now no one bothered him. But later he began to feel their absence: no one prepared food for him, no one cleaned the house. The visiting generals and police officer called him a fool. But he did not understand why they treated him like that. As a result, he became so wild that he even became like an animal: he was overgrown with hair, climbed trees, and tore his prey with his hands and ate.
Saltykov-Shchedrin skillfully portrayed the satirical guise of the vices of a nobleman. Fairy tale " wild landlord” shows how stupid a person can be who does not understand that he lived well only thanks to his men.
In the finale, all the serfs return to the landowner, and life flourishes again: meat is sold in the market, the house is clean and tidy. Yes, but Urus Kuchum never returned to its former appearance. He still hums, missing his former wild life.
"Wise Gudgeon"
Many from childhood remember the fairy tales of Saltykov-Shchedrin, the list of which is not small: “How a man fed two generals”, “A bear in the province”, “Kissel”, “Konyaga”. True, we begin to understand the real meaning of these stories when we become adults.
Such is the tale wise gudgeon". He lived all his life and was afraid of everything: cancer, a water flea, a man, and even his own brother. Parents bequeathed to him: "Look at both!" And the scribbler decided to hide all his life and not come across anyone's eyes. And he lived like that for more than a hundred years. I haven't seen or heard anything in my entire life.
Saltykov-Shchedrin's tale "The Wise Gudgeon" makes fun of stupid people ready to live their whole lives in fear of any danger. Now the old fish-man thought about what he lived for. And he became so sad because he did not see white light. Decided to emerge from behind his driftwood. And after that no one saw him.
The writer laughs that even a pike will not eat such an old fish. The minnow in the work is called wise, but this is undoubtedly because it is extremely difficult to call him smart.
Conclusion
The tales of Saltykov-Shchedrin (listed above) have become a real treasure trove of Russian literature. How clearly and wisely the author describes human shortcomings! These stories have not lost their relevance in our time. In this they resemble fables.
Saltykov-Shchedrin (pseudonym - N. Shchedrin) Mikhail Evgrafovich- Russian satirist.
Born in the village of Spas-Ugol, Tver province, in the ancient noble family. Childhood years passed in family estate father in "... the years ... of the height of serfdom", in one of the back corners of Poshekhonye. Observations of this life will later be reflected in the books of the writer.
Having received good home education, Saltykov at the age of 10 was accepted as a boarder at the Moscow Noble Institute, where he spent two years, then in 1838 he was transferred to the Tsarskoye Selo Lyceum. Here he began to write poetry, having been greatly influenced by the articles of Belinsky and Herzen, the works of Gogol.
In 1844, after graduating from the Lyceum, he served as an official in the Office of the War Ministry. "... Duty is everywhere, coercion is everywhere, boredom and lies are everywhere..." - this is how he characterized bureaucratic Petersburg. Another life attracted Saltykov more: communication with writers, visiting Petrashevsky's "Fridays", where philosophers, scientists, writers, military men gathered, united by anti-serfdom sentiments, the search for the ideals of a just society.
Saltykov's first stories "Contradictions" (1847), "A Tangled Case" (1848) with their sharp social issues drew the attention of the authorities, frightened French Revolution 1848. The writer was exiled to Vyatka for "... a harmful way of thinking and a pernicious desire to spread ideas that have already shaken the whole of Western Europe ...". For eight years he lived in Vyatka, where in 1850 he was appointed to the post of adviser to the provincial government. This made it possible to often go on business trips and observe the bureaucratic world and peasant life. The impressions of these years will have an impact on the satirical direction of the writer's work.
At the end of 1855, after the death of Nicholas I, having received the right to "live wherever he wanted", he returned to St. Petersburg and resumed literary work. In 1856 - 1857 were written " Provincial essays", published on behalf of the "court adviser N. Shchedrin", who became known to all reading Russia, who called him Gogol's heir.
At this time, he married the 17-year-old daughter of the Vyatka vice-governor, E. Boltina. Saltykov sought to combine the work of the writer with public service. In 1856 - 1858 he was an official special assignments in the Ministry of the Interior, where work was concentrated on the preparation of the peasant reform.
In 1858 - 1862 he served as vice-governor in Ryazan, then in Tver. He always tried to surround himself at his place of service with honest, young and educated people, dismissing bribe-takers and thieves.
During these years, short stories and essays appeared ("Innocent Stories", 1857㬻 "Satires in Prose", 1859 - 62), as well as articles on the peasant question.
In 1862, the writer retired, moved to St. Petersburg and, at the invitation of Nekrasov, joined the editorial office of the Sovremennik magazine, which at that time was experiencing enormous difficulties (Dobrolyubov died, Chernyshevsky was imprisoned in Peter and Paul Fortress). Saltykov took on an enormous amount of writing and editorial work. But the main attention was paid to the monthly review "Our public life", which became a monument of Russian journalism of the 1860s.
In 1864 Saltykov left the editorial office of Sovremennik. The reason was intra-journal disagreements on the tactics of social struggle in the new conditions. He returned to public service.
In 1865 - 1868 he headed the State Chambers in Penza, Tula, Ryazan; observations of the life of these cities formed the basis of "Letters on the Province" (1869). The frequent change of duty stations is explained by conflicts with the heads of the provinces, over whom the writer "laughed" in grotesque pamphlets. After a complaint from the Ryazan governor, Saltykov was dismissed in 1868 with the rank of real state councilor. Moved to St. Petersburg, accepted the invitation of N. Nekrasov to become co-editor of the magazine " Domestic notes", where he worked in 1868 - 1884. Saltykov now completely switched to literary activity. In 1869, he wrote "The History of a City" - the pinnacle of his satirical art.
In 1875 - 1876 he was treated abroad, visited countries Western Europe V different years life. In Paris he met with Turgenev, Flaubert, Zola.
In the 1880s, Saltykov's satire culminated in its rage and grotesque: " Modern idyll"(1877 - 83); "Lord Golovlevs" (1880); "Poshekhon stories" (1883㭐).
In 1884, the journal Otechestvennye Zapiski was closed, after which Saltykov was forced to publish in the journal Vestnik Evropy.
IN last years life the writer created his masterpieces: "Tales" (1882 - 86); "Little Things in Life" (1886 - 87); autobiographical novel "Poshekhonskaya antiquity" (1887 - 89).
A few days before his death, he wrote the first pages of a new work "Forgotten Words", where he wanted to remind the "variegated people" of the 1880s about the words they had lost: "conscience, fatherland, humanity ... others are still there ...".
M. Saltykov-Shchedrin died in St. Petersburg.
