My husband's father left the family. Since then, the mother has been against communication between father and son. The husband continues to communicate with his father, but when the mother-in-law found out about this, she cursed our entire family. We pray for her health, for the deliverance of her soul from anger and hatred, but there is no peace of mind. Advise how to get rid of the mother's curse. It is said to be the strongest.
She must not give up her body to anyone other than her husband, and she must not wear clothes that show her body shape. Some scholars such as Muhammad Nasiruddin al-Albani believe that modernity is full of Fitna, women should go so far as to cover their faces, as even the face can attract the eager looks of men.
Sheikh Albani says: We recognize that the face is not part of the body that should be covered, but we are not allowed to hold it if we want to stop dishonesty. modern era and the need for means of further dishonesty. However, it is said that, given the tradition of the Prophet, it is sufficient to cover the body, exposing the face and hands to the wrists, as this is a clear Islamic covering and can sometimes be indispensable for a woman with an uninspired face.
Hieromonk Job (Gumerov) answers:
Curse - deprivation of blessing and condemnation to disasters. This power belongs exclusively to God. However, even in ancient biblical times The Lord has given special spiritual authority to certain righteous people to bless or curse. Such power was with the patriarchs, and then with the prophets.
But if a woman chooses to wear a veil, she should not be discouraged, as it is a sign of piety and piety. Dress codes become more relaxed as a woman gets older and her sex appeal disappears. That they abstain from it is better for them.
And Allah hears knowing. However, if the woman is old but still has sexual desire, she is not allowed to strip her coat. Women who are not necessarily mercenary glances, but rather respectful and honorable, justify the use of this looseness and run around in their homes without "excessive clothing".
The Lord gave parents special spiritual and moral authority over their children. According to St. John Chrysostom, it is assumed by the very origin of children. “The power of parents over children has its origin in nature itself. Such an honor is their reward for the illnesses of birth ”(Eight words on the book of Genesis. Word IV). The basis of this power is also the exclusive responsibility of parents for the upbringing of children. Their relationship should be modeled on our relationship with God. The goal of our spiritual life is to be worthy of that highest title, about which the holy Apostle Paul speaks: “Therefore, you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Jesus Christ” (Gal. 4:7). We, the people of the New Testament, “received the Spirit of adoption, by which we cry, “Abba, Father!”” (Rom. 8:15). The word "abba » Aramaic corresponds to our "dad" - confidentiality of children to their father.
Islam requires its male and female followers to avoid forbidden sexual relations in all circumstances. Since the desire for sexual relations can only arise through the look that one person brings to another, Islam forbids looking at each other in love.
Since it is impossible for a person to constantly keep his eyes on the ground, and it is impossible to understand that a man will never see a woman or a woman, never a man, Islam apologizes for the first possible glance, but forbids a second glance or a constant look at a face that is attractive at first glance.
The spiritual and moral education of children is based on this parental authority, correctly applied. Without this power, parents cannot fulfill their obligations to their children. Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov) in the word “On Honoring Parents” says: “There are many stories that confirm the real power of parents' power over children. There are many such examples when a parent's blessing brought down grace on the souls of their children. And vice versa, the parental curse subjected disobedient children to terrible suffering, torment. Blessed Augustine, Bishop of Hippo, relates one incident. Once, in one of the cities of his diocese, an entire family was subjected to such a curse. The mother of nine sons, an old woman, was once very upset by her eldest son, who not only insulted her verbally, but also dared to beat her. Offended, upset by such an act eldest son, the mother grieved for her other sons: why didn’t they hold him back and help, didn’t protect her when he stabbed her? And in a fit of such indignation, anger, she cursed them all indiscriminately. And the judgment of God, the inevitable judgment, took place. The eldest son was stricken with paralysis the same day. His hands, and then all the members of his body, began to tremble. He was completely exhausted, he could not even walk. The same fate befell all the other sons within a single year. So they, unable to bear the shame, unable to bear the disgrace of their fellow citizens, left this city and wandered somewhere throughout the Roman Empire. Here is a clear example, an obvious example, of how swiftly the judgment of God is carried out on impudent, irreverent children. This example also convinces us that mothers who dare to utter such reckless curses on their children are also sinning. And doubly sinning children who force their parents to such extreme acts - curses.
The following traditions of the Prophet provide guidance in this regard: Jarir says. The Prophet replied, "Turn your eyes away." "According to Buraida, the Prophet told the future fourth caliph Ali not to take a second look, since the first look is forgiven, and the second is forbidden." However, there are certain circumstances in which a man is allowed to look at another woman. Such circumstances arise when a woman is forced to deal with a male doctor if she has to appear before a judge as a witness, or when a woman is caught in a burning house or drowned, or when a woman's life is in danger.
Having many examples of curses being fulfilled, one cannot think that the power of parents over children is absolute, and even more so it is unacceptable to attribute the words of a father or mother magical power. Both an unreasonable blessing and a parental curse, contrary to Divine truth, the Lord does not fulfill. IN Holy Scripture it is said: “As a sparrow flutters, as a swallow flies away, so an undeserved curse will not come true” (Prov. 26: 2). The psalmist also addresses the Lord: “They curse, but you bless” (Ps. 109:28). A parent's unkind word is no exception to this truth.
In such cases, even areas of prohibited bodies can be seen or hugged, and it is not only legal, but even the duty of the individual to save them from danger, no matter what physical contact it entails. However, Islam requires a person, however, in such a situation that his intentions are pure.
If, however, his emotions are somewhat aroused, he is not to blame for such a woman, because contact with her was not intended, but was necessary by this circumstance, and the person cannot be his natural desire completely depressed. Sharia also allows a man to look at a woman to decide whether to marry her or not.
Many parents, unfortunately, are in disbelief and blindness. Others, although they consider themselves believers, have a damaged spirituality. It would be a great disaster for children if curses containing malevolence were to achieve their purpose. If children do not live in sin, fulfill the commandments, the most important among which is “honor your father and your mother, that your days on earth may be long” (Ex. 20: 12), the merciful and all-good God will not only not fulfill the evil word of such parents, but also to protect the children.
The following tradition continues the matter: Mughira Ibn Shubah says. I sent a message to the woman asking for her hand. The Prophet told me, "Go and look at them, because it will promote love and mutual respect between you." Abu Hurairah says that he was sitting with the Prophet when a man came and told him that he intended to marry a woman among the Ansar. The Prophet asked him if he had seen them. The Prophet told him to go and have a look at them because the Ansar often have a mistake in their eyes. According to Jabir Ibn Abdullah, the Prophet said that when a man sends a request for help to a woman, he should look at her to see if there is anything in her that makes her marry.
Our Lord Jesus Christ brought a blessing into this world. By His death on the cross He conquered the curse. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit” (Rom. 8:1). Therefore, the New Testament Holy Scripture forbids cursing: “Bless your persecutors; bless, and do not curse” (Rom. 12:14). The curser commits a grave sin. “Whoever blesses his enemy, blesses himself, and whoever curses him, curses himself, and whoever prays for the enemy, prays for himself, and not for him” (St. John Chrysostom).
Therefore, it is understandable that a man is not prevented from gazing at a woman, but the idea of the prohibition is to avoid the evil of forbidden sexual intercourse. Therefore, what the prophet forbade is only a point of view that does not serve a social purpose and is burdened with sexual urge.
This command applies to both Muslims and women and is therefore not limited to sex alone. If something annoys him, he is forced to acquire it from within. On the other hand, the character of a woman is quite full of inhibitions and escapes. If her nature is not completely corrupted, she can never be so aggressive, fussy and fearless as to make the first attempts to approach a person whom she finds attractive. In view of this difference, the legislature sees a woman who looks at other men as dangerously as a man looks at other women.
If, nevertheless, a father or mother in malice, anger and blindness curses one of the children, then, first of all, one must pray fervently for the world as a great treasure and for parents so that they have a peaceful spirit. Prayer brings people together. The person on whom the curse has been pronounced should very carefully examine his spiritual and outer life: was there a reason for such a temptation that a person could not see due to insensitivity and inattention. "Beware, Christians, of offending their parents so as not to experience the punishing hand of God. After God, we have no great benefactors like our parents. It is terrible to be ungrateful to them! Moreover, know: what you will be to your parents, such will your children be to you, according to the word of Christ: measure according to the measure, it will be measured to you! (Matt. 7: 2) ”(St. Tikhon of Zadonsk). It often happens that a person considers himself right, but in a conversation with him you are convinced that in his behavior his rightness was external, formal. There was no love in the relationship, no true Christian humility. Without this, it is impossible to fulfill the commandment "honor your father and your mother." Scripture does not say: good father or a good mother. The commandment does not require obedience from children that is contrary to their Christian conscience, but forbids malice, hostility, and even simple indifference towards them. A person who has fallen under a parental curse must also, without delay, prepare and proceed to a full confession. Having fulfilled all this (honoring parents, praying for them, regularly being cleansed of sins, living in the grace-filled experience of the Church), a person must free himself from all fear and calmly follow his saving path.
It has been reported in some traditions that the prophet Aisha had a performance on the occasion of the "black color", which shows that there is no absolute prohibition for women that forbid them to look at men, but what is forbidden for women is in one to sit next to men and watch at them, or looking at them in a way that could lead to a bad end.
The Prophet told Fatimah, the daughter of Queis, that she was instructed to carry her "Iddah in the house of Ibn Maktoum, the same blind companion from Umm Salama, to carry the veil". Qadi Abu Bakr ibn al-Arabi informs his Ahkam al-Quran that Fatimah, the daughter of Qays, wanted to take her to Umm Sharq's house. The Prophet did not agree, as many people visited the house. So he told her to stay in the house of Ibn Maktoum, who was blind, where she could stay without the veil.
“In deed and word, honor your father and mother, so that a blessing from them may come upon you, for the blessing of the father establishes the houses of children” (Sir. 3: 8-9).
I know that you can’t wish evil on anyone, curse, but ....
I didn't control myself.
My mother-in-law used to drink a lot. I struggled with this for a long time. With the birth of the child, she began to drink only on holidays, but in New Year drink so drink. When she drinks, then anger spills out of her directly. Instead of having fun, she screams, yells at the whole apartment, hell begins. Hell. which I do not wish anyone, especially I do not want my child to see it.
From 31 to 1, she started yelling because they poured too hot tea for her. I brought her a decanter and said, "Well, pour yourself some cold water, you're not a queen." To which she began to yell at the whole apartment, “No, I am the queen, COBRAAAAA, the queen of snakes.” Then she fell asleep at the table and her husband dragged her to the bed.
Well, these are flowers. The next day, 1, she drinks again. It was already 12. Ksyusha and I were sleeping. Serezha was sitting in the kitchen with a laptop. I wake up from screams in the kitchen “I need water, but I don’t have it, I don’t have anything cold to drink, you are all creatures! Right now, I'm going to fuck your bitch." Serezha stops her. I leave the room so that she doesn’t start yelling in the room, the child is still sleeping there.
She at me “I was thirsty, and you drank all the water bitches! I hate you all. You are just a guest here. This is not your home." I started shaking with anger, my husband is holding her (at the same time, her strength is not equal, she is a meter with a cap, and I am a young girl) I went out to smoke to avoid conflict, I thought maybe she would go to sleep herself. But when I went back she was already in the room where the child was sleeping. And yelled obscenities there as if cut. Ksyusha is shaking with fear, crying. I told her “What are you doing, the child was sleeping, and you are like this” And she told me “Yes, I *** == fuck your child!” And that was the last straw, I dragged her out of the room by the scruff of the neck and said, “Damn you, so that everything was bad for you!” I didn't even think about what I was talking about. I just felt so hurt and embarrassed. I don't consider myself a guest. I have been living with my husband for 8 years, we have done a lot together. Then the child appeared, we signed. We are happy and I hope to live together for the rest of our lives. But my anger came out. I believe that words have power. And I fear that the curse spoken in the hearts is effective. Then everything will come back to me 10 times. I regret it so that she doesn't tell me there over a glass of water. There is a lot of malice in this man, her life was not happy anyway. I became like her. And I'm afraid to go to church, I'm afraid to tell the priest what's in my soul, because I'm ashamed. In general, to believe in this or is it all nonsense and I didn’t send anything to anyone? What should I do? Do you need to overcome yourself and go to confession, or is there another way to neutralize what has been said?
This proves that the true intention of the Prophet was to limit any possibility of disturbance that might occur. That is why the woman did not allow her to live in a house where there were more opportunities for anxiety, but allowed her to stay in a house where there were less opportunities. On the other hand, where there was no need, women were forbidden to sit in the same place with other men.
It is common knowledge that a person looks at another without malicious intent. If the latter is attractive, it is possible that the former casts more glances and plunges into the abyss of sexual desire and, ultimately, fornication or adultery. Islam maintains a tuned love for building a happy family life as sensible families provide a package for a sane society to build. But this is contrary to promiscuity, which destroys family life people and people through the last catastrophe, forbidden sexual relations that develop between followers.
