The man rarely responds to messages. If a man does not respond to messages

Calm down! Maybe he just died...

What to do if a man does not respond to messages? Let's take as a condition of the problem that you do not send him an SMS in the style of “Music! The goose is ready!” V work time, don't text him 10 times a day and spam him with kittens and hearts. But you are in love and still want to receive periodic confirmation that the object of love is also interested in you. What could be the reason for his silence?

Are you kidding? Are you not schoolchildren? Even if we assume that the money really ran out, then when he sees an SMS from his beloved woman, he can, for example:

• top up your account via Internet banking or go to the nearest terminal;
• order services on credit from a mobile operator;
• use the phone of a friend or colleague;
• call a landline phone;
• send the so-called "homeless" (then they would laugh together).

If the man is not in this moment on a desert island, did not go hiking high in the mountains, did not go on a polar expedition, then he MAY call you back or send a short message. And the only explanation for his silence is that he doesn't want to.

Banal employment can be the reason that a man does not respond to SMS. How to behave in this case depends on how long he does not call or write to you. You are lucky if your boyfriend is passionate about his work. Believe me, he really has no time to exchange emoticons with you. He may be at an important meeting or meeting. Maybe he's driving. Or the office is noisy and he just didn't hear the beep. For men, romantic relationships are not in the first place in life priorities. Maybe you should learn from them?

Another thing is if your chosen one has been silent for a couple of days. Then do not build illusions - employment has nothing to do with it. No matter how important the project is, there is always a minute for a smoke break, at lunch or before bedtime to write a few words: “Hello! I remember you...” If your place in his heart is somewhere between Counter-Strike and a Friday beer, then don't waste your precious time on him - he just doesn't like you.

If I really like you, I will never forget about you.

Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo "He Just Doesn't Like You: The Truth About Men"

Sometimes, in the event of some cooling, it makes sense to think about whether you went too far. Remember if you fantasized about the future? About a house, kids, or even just a vacation together next summer? There are men who are very, very afraid. Serious relationships. There are some of the most striking types:

1. Indecisive. He often has a domineering mother. He himself is unable to make a choice. He cannot decide to change jobs or apartments. He is afraid of any news, even good, does not like surprises. Such a man is not able to fight back a boor. With such a man next to you, you will always be forced to make strategic decisions that are important for your family. It is you who will plan romantic trips. You will advise, guide and support what your loved one does good career. If such a family model is close to you, then a timid, indecisive man is what you need. Therefore, take the initiative in your own hands right now, do not wait for a response to a message, but simply call and make an appointment.
2. He is in love and this feeling is new to him. This is the most "favorite" reason for a guy's silence for romantic young ladies. Rarely, but it does happen. He feels that he ceases to be the master of his thoughts and feelings, no longer manages his time on his own. This scares him a little, since his life before meeting you was simple, predictable and pleasant. In this case, just wait. Do not insist on frequent meetings, do not stay overnight, do not leave any items in his apartment. He will calm down, get used to it, and then - hook it up.
3. He is influenced from outside. Often their friends have a huge influence on our men. Which is much worse - mom. It's not curable. All you can do is just genuinely try to please. If his company accepts you, and your mother becomes yours in good sense accomplice - everything, he is in our pocket.

Although the most common reason for not calling or responding to a message is unfortunately still the same - he just doesn't like you.

Waiting for a call

Yesterday I spent the night with a guy, today he does not call me. Option one: he died. Option two: he did not like me in bed. It would be better if he, the bastard, died.

It would seem that the date went well, but for some reason after it the guy disappeared from the horizon, does not call, and does not answer your SMS. There may be many reasons for this.

1. You seemed too complicated, "stuffy" to him. He probably just wanted to eat a good steak in good company, and you started a song about marriage, children, responsibility, a scoundrel ex-husband, or an apartment with a mortgage.
2. He got what he wanted and has no plans to repeat it. Well, you understand ... Perhaps you will be interested in the article.
3. He re-read Pushkin and really believes that "than less woman we love, the easier she likes us.” In this case, we have a vulgar manipulator. Read more about them in the article.
4. He doesn't remember who you are. You will laugh, but this often happens. Have you ever met in nightclubs? Do you often go there not “in the hop”? So he forgot what your name is and under what circumstances he got new contact in phone.
5. He just doesn't know yet when he'll have time to see you again. A rare man likes to call or write just like that. They call to exchange information, to set up a meeting for a specific time. In the meantime, he has nothing to say on the merits, he does not call.

And, whatever one may say, it all comes down to the fact that he doesn’t really like you. You deserve to be looked after, to be sought, to sincerely want to call you theirs. Stop hypnotizing your phone and go to a new meeting!

Always remains a mystery to many girls. And it often happens that it seems to us that some guy likes us, while he remembers our existence. It happens quite the opposite: we are sure that we are only irritating a young person, but it turns out that he is crazy about us.

That is why women's magazines and websites for women constantly write about the relationship between a man and a woman, and all the fair sex flood the editorial offices of women's magazines with questions like why he does not call, although he promised to do it a week ago, and also why the guy does not answer SMS . However, do not worry, sooner or later you will understand which seem to you the most suitable for building relationships, and everything will go on as usual - dates, flowers, ... But still, some behavior of young people will remain incomprehensible to us.

For example, why the guy does not respond to SMS. This question is asked by both girls who have already established a permanent relationship with a young man, and those who are not yet sure how he treats them.

In order to rid them of their tormenting doubts once and for all, our electronic women's magazine "Virgoklab" decided to ask the young people themselves directly why they still do not respond to messages.

Dima, 23 years old, actively searching:

- If I like some girl, I myself will gladly take the initiative and invite her somewhere. However, I do not mind if the girl herself starts to communicate with me, for example, at a party or in a general get-together. But I can't stand all these stupid text messages, when it's completely incomprehensible what a girl you barely know wants from you. Well, if she misses me so much, then why not call me and ask how I'm doing? Why all these emoticons and rhymes that come to my mobile phone?

Sergey, 25 years old, 2 years in a civil marriage:

- The simplest and most obvious answer to the question of why a guy texts back is that he doesn't want to. I am a rather sociable young man and I enjoy spending time not only with my beloved, but also with friends, among whom there are both boys and girls. However, when one of them tries to get my attention with all sorts of text messages, I just get pissed off. Firstly, because it often occurs to them to send them to me during working hours, when I am busy and am not going to waste time on various nonsense, and secondly, it is not clear to me: what do they want to achieve with this if they know what I have already have a girlfriend.

Maxim, 24 years old, married 6 months:

- I love my wife very much, but I don’t understand at all what pleasure she can find in SMS- correspondence. It is much more pleasant for me to hear her gentle voice, and not to read the text on the small screen of a mobile phone. Is she also wondering why the guy does not answer texts? Well, I'll have to write her something affectionate so that she doesn't get upset.

Eugene, 19 years old:

- At the moment I do not have a permanent girlfriend, as I am quite satisfied with a free, non-binding relationship. I do not mind at all if one of the nice ladies wants to express their sympathy to me through SMS, however, when this is repeated with regular persistence and the demand for mandatory answers, it will cause me nothing but annoyance. Why is the guy not texting back? Because it's already been taken!

As you can see, young people do not see in SMS- Correspondence nothing romantic and pleasant. Probably, we ourselves should learn to find romance not in the new ways of communication that have been provided to us. information Technology, and in more familiar and natural ways to take care of your young man. Of course, to communicate with SMS much easier - the guy does not see the embarrassment of the girl, and she can afford to be more courageous. However, SMS correspondence rarely allows you to truly fall in love with a guy, because the most important weapon of a woman - a well-groomed appearance, a friendly smile, charm, a sly look and much more - remains "behind the scenes".

Some girls have found a great way to get a guy to answer SMS, using for this the ability to interest, easy manipulation and intrigue. How to do it? Read the thread on the forum:-

If a man does not answer: how to behave?

If a man does not answer you, then you immediately begin to build a whole logical chain in your head. Koshechka.ru will not be surprised if it leads to resentment, negative emotions and their splashing out not only on this person, but on everyone in a row.

I would like to say this right now. There will be no “sweet” dreams here that he did not answer, because, for example, he was forced to save a kitten from imminent death or transferred his grandmother across the road, and then it turned out that a plate with aliens had landed right at the crossroads. Hands are busy - where can I answer!

Now, no matter how trite it may sound, the century digital technologies. Phone, smartphone - always with you. Or a person is constantly at the computer and is able to check social networks, or even does not get out of them, sometimes because the work is connected precisely with this. And yes, let's make a reservation, there are unforeseen circumstances under which he really could not answer for objective reasons. But this exception only confirms the rule. And sooner or later he will show up, even if you do nothing (and this is best).

So, after such a "cold shower", let's figure out how to behave if a man does not answer. After all, we must agree, this is a strong blow to conceit, self-esteem, and in general everything with the prefix "self-". It is necessary to get out of this situation (introspection and finding out the reasons why such an ignore) into a situation of maximum self-love.

It is believed that only those who are not busy can “worry” on this topic. But it also happens that a mountain of deeds, work, projects has accumulated, namely the message that HIM sent, and hangs in the mind, like a kind of "stopper". And you think, what if I wrote something wrong, so he is silent. First, take him off his pedestal - what did he do to become the Man of Dreams? Ignores, why so attractive? Inaccessible and thus attractive?

Can you write messages?

Not in terms of typing them, putting words from letters and adding emoticons, but building messages correctly?

After all, sometimes your message is really faced with a wall of silence, because there is simply nothing to answer to it. Men are such "creatures" who (their best representatives, of course) do not waste words in vain. And if the message does not contain a specific question, then they do not see the point in coming up with something in response. This situation is just a prime example moreover, if the man does not answer immediately. He's just thinking about what to write to you. Of course, if he is very passionate about you, then he will write more often and come up with ways to contact you.

And it's not about whether you're good or bad. But in your behaviour. In order not to think about how to behave if a man does not answer, and simply not to face such a problem, ko6e4ka.ru wants to give you some practical recommendations.

If a man does not answer - do not wait tensely by the phone, get down to business!

What to do if the man does not answer?

1. Forget it exists. It's really like it doesn't exist on this planet. It will be great to do other things, work, finally visit relatives, meet girlfriends, and finally answer some other guy and meet him. There will be nothing like this in a banal meeting, but in some incomprehensible way they “feel” that an opponent appears. Checked!
2. Let's analyze what you wrote to him. If your message literally shows dependence, adoration and all that, then it is repulsive. He's also a hunter. But if there is something in life that he cannot get, he literally blows his mind. And, perhaps, by the way, this is precisely the reason why he does not answer you, because he is thinking about how to impress another girl. Who looks down on him, is mysterious, or simply does not pay attention to him, because she is busy with her own business. That's right at the moment.
3. What to write to a man if he does not answer? Well, if you are not afraid to worry and worry even more, then the message should contain a question. And not in the spirit: “Why are you ignoring me, you are not a good person?” And something banal, to which it is simply impossible not to answer. Believe me, even if he is very busy or tired, he will answer if you are dear to him.
4. If a man does not respond to messages and SMS, call him. Again, if you are not afraid to come across a cold tone. Or long beeps, after which the person will not call back.
5. It is not necessary, in the case of even a minute of waiting after writing and sending a message, to think that he will definitely not answer, and reproach yourself, self-flagellate. Remember, a man treats you exactly the same as you treat yourself. And if you start looking for reasons in yourself, thinking that you are ugly or uninteresting, or he has better options and write menacing messages saturated with jealousy, he will not be interested in such a person.

In general, try to be inaccessible and do not agree to meetings immediately so that he does not think that after the first or second date you are completely his. Then, no matter how fabulous it may sound, you will become for him the girl of his dreams. And ideally, you need to make sure that he thinks why she does not answer, and where she spends time and with whom. Especially if we are now discussing not family relationships, but just the relationship between people looking for their soul mate.

If the man does not answer, do not try to artificially reduce the distance between you. On the contrary, "run away" from him yourself.

Based on personal experience! Tested and approved for use! With love and Best wishes, Eva Raduga - especially for Koshechka.ru - a site for lovers ... into yourself!

Beloved man not answering calls and texts. Doesn't call, doesn't write. If he does not pick up the phone and does not answer SMS, then how to understand this?

Stop torturing the phone! He is already tired of showing you with silence and beeps that your boyfriend is not answering. My God, how much excitement I see in your eyes. Just don't cry so that the mascara doesn't spread. Then, after all, you will be angry with the mascara and the fact that you again bought nonsense.

It was necessary, before sowing anxiety, to think about the fact that there are reasons that your loved one does not “text” you in response and does not answer your calls. And you continue to call and write messages, in the hope that a sudden miracle will happen.

Why is the guy not answering calls and texts? Beloved man does not answer calls and SMS.

How many thoughts are observed in your beautiful head. How about making things right? You and I will arrange good "showdowns", without assault. Why do we need sacrifices if we can do without them?

Causes for which your boyfriend is silent, not replying to messages and "ignoring" your endless calls:

1. He works. You understand yourself: there are moments when, to answer, there is simply no way. Maybe the boss is wandering around, or, in the moments of your "anxiety", he is sitting at a meeting.
2. He lost his mobile. He is looking for him, connecting everyone to this case. Doesn't take someone's phone to warn you because he wants to find his own.
3. He is in the soul. And I didn’t take my mobile phone with me, so as not to accidentally bathe her. Otherwise, she, for sure, may never earn money.
4. He turned on silent mode. Sometimes, this kind of regimen is very necessary. It was invented so that the phone does not distract when the owner of this phone is very busy.
5. He drinks beer, with friends, at the bar. He does not answer because he is afraid. That learning about his whereabouts will make you angry. We all know how girls feel about the fact that their guys spend time holding a glass or a bottle filled with an alcoholic drink.
6. He's in the toilet. Well, you yourself understand: he will not always want to take the phone there. Not the most pleasant and convenient place for telephone conversations.
7. He is in the realm of dreams. Even if his phone is not in vibration mode, he can sleep very soundly.
8. He is driving a car. Do you know that talking on a cell phone while driving is a very serious fine? For example, in Lithuania, at the moment, the fine for using mobile phone behind the wheel, is almost ninety euros.

Doesn't call, doesn't write. The guy does not answer calls and texts. Why? How shoud I understand this?

Now I will tell you what appears in your thoughts without leaving you for a moment. You think he resented you. Such thoughts don't just happen. How could you offend him? If this is indeed the case, write him a long text message with apologies. He will definitely read it. And he will answer if he considers that it needs to be done. Do not answer - do not impose.

Doesn't pick up the phone and not responding to sms. - Do you think that now your beloved man is with another girl ....? – And this is possible. No one ruled this out. In any case, if this is so, wish him happiness and let him go. Let him stay with the one for which he made you worry for so long.

He broke-up with me. And such thoughts allow themselves to finish off your brain. You are tired of him, he decided to leave without a trace, in English. And you, not knowing for sure whether this is so, continue to torment yourself.

He decided that you were cheating on him, someone told him about it. You didn't do it! So what are you worried about? If he loves you, he will believe only your words, and not some “leftist” ones.

Boy not answering calls and texts? - There is a way out: go home to him. It is unlikely that he would have kicked you out, no matter what happened there. Here, and you will find out, at the same time, what, and why, so as not to torment yourself with conjectures. I forgot to buy a travel card - take the money, jump in a taxi, and rush to him. If he, at this time, is not at home - wait for him an hour - another. And dress warmly if it's cold outside.

Don't be proud, get dressed and go to him. And there - be what will be! But, imagine how much easier it will be for you after your frank conversation.

He hasn't responded in just a few hours?! Then it's funny. Well, you are impatient! Wait a little. I thought he hadn't let me know in weeks. Don't panic, babe. Psychologists, in general, are of the opinion that thoughts materialize sooner or later.

So, set yourself up only for the good, bright and positive, so that this will come true. And dry your tears. Eyes from them, then, will hurt and itch. And you can’t put on makeup: everything will blur. Don't create such problems for yourself. There are already enough of them, without your "creation".

Watch TV, drink coffee or tea, listen to music. He will answer, appear, call back if he needs you. Have no doubt: men, when they are bored, become very annoying and intrusive.

There are cases when, guys, they generally forget about the phone and about their girls. Maybe your boy is hanging out with his buddies and discussing how you lost, unfairly, their love. football team. He is indignant there, worries about football, and you think, fig knows what! No need to spoil the mood with your thoughts.

If the beloved man does not answer calls and SMS. - You will freak out, write offensive messages to him, turn off your mobile phone. Maybe you shouldn't worry so much? You can't wait. Like many. Waiting is hard and frustrating. They also anger the clock, which, as on purpose, stops and slows down, for some reason, the time on the dials and on the scoreboard.

You sit on your home phone. Look - do not crush! I'm trying to joke so that you don't become so limp. Your taste is sweet, and you. Now, sourer than any cucumber! AND salty taste you add with your tears. Friends are not a panacea. You will chat with them, and in an hour your “loss” will be announced. And in the end, she distracted her friends, and she herself was all upset. Alarmist, Christmas trees - sticks!

How do you feel about walking? - Sad eyes? But you will walk with your feet! So - go ahead! Without laziness and without longing! Better without an elevator. You can also count the steps so that it is not boring. If you meet someone along the way - talk, do not ignore. Together - twice the fun. And triple if you meet anyone else. Here it is - how lucky.

If that's the case, don't give up anyway appearance. Get your hair done, make up. And then, you see, there is no one to preen for! But what about, at the expense, for yourself, your beloved? You also need to like it. Have a good day and good luck!

An interesting fact: the madness that you fall into today simply did not exist 10, 20 years ago. In those days, you wouldn't be maniacally checking your phone every few minutes, falling into anger and despair, in agony just because a person didn't send you a short, stupid text.

Modern romance is stressful, especially when it comes to writing. In 2010, only 10% of young people used messages to ask someone out on a date for the first time. In 2013 - already 32%. More and more people are sitting alone, staring at the screen of the phone, and at the same time experiencing a whole range of emotions.

A few minutes passed and the status of my message changed to read. My heart has stopped. Here it is, the moment of truth. I braced myself and watched as these little dots appeared on the smartphone screen, indicating that someone was typing a response for you. Feels like from a slow ride to the highest part of the slide. But then a few seconds pass - and that's it, they disappeared. And no answer.

Hmmm... What happened? A few more minutes pass and... nothing. 15 minutes pass... Nothing. My confidence is fading, doubts begin to torment me. An hour passes... Nothing. Two hours pass... Nothing. Three hours pass… A slight panic sets in. I am rereading my post. I was sure of him, but now I'm starting to wonder what's wrong with him.

“I am such a fool! You should have typed "Hello!" with two "e"s, not one. I asked too many questions. What was I thinking? Oh, I should have asked about something else. Aziz, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR QUESTIONS?”

Aziz Ansari

Technological progress today allows us to contact the person we like instantly. But that doesn't make it any less of a problem. For example, how to invite a girl or a guy on a date? Worth a call? Or send SMS? Or add me as a friend and send a message to social network? How long do you have to wait before answering an invitation? Obviously, with progress came changes in our personal lives. We evaluate a partner differently, we start and build relationships differently.

Comedian Aziz Ansari decided to look into the problems of modern romantic relationships and, together with New York University sociologist Eric Klinenberg, developed a massive research project. From 2013 to 2014, they conducted focus groups and surveys around the world, as well as interviewing well-known romance researchers. The results of this research resulted in the book Actively Searching, in which, among other things, you can find the answer to the question of what to do as soon as you send or receive a message.

How long should I wait before replying to a message?

This issue caused the most controversy and disagreement among the respondents. And here are the tactics that people usually follow.

• The tactic of doubling the response time: they answer you in five minutes, you wait ten. In this way, you will always be in a better position because you will seem busier and less available than your interlocutor.
• Some people wait a few minutes to show that there is something more important in their life than a phone.
• Some respondents believe that it is better to double the response time, but sometimes you can answer quickly, there is nothing to worry about (as, indeed, in too long a response).
• Some people claim that they wait exactly 1.25 of the response time.
• Others argue that it is enough to wait three minutes.
• There were those who were already fed up with such games, so they responded immediately as soon as they saw the message. They find that their responses without feigned anticipation seem more lively and confident.

But do these tactics really work? And why do so many people follow them? Let's see if these strategies correlate with real psychological research.

Reply as reward

IN last years Behavioral scientists have studied why waiting tactics have such a powerful effect on people.

You will appear less attractive if you reply to messages immediately.

Psychologists have done hundreds of studies in which they different conditions rewarded animals. One of the most interesting findings is the “indeterminate reward”, that is, the situation when an animal, pressing a lever, cannot predict whether it will receive a reward. It turned out that uncertainty greatly increases the interest of the animal in receiving a reward: the level of dopamine rises, so that, one might say, it gets high from this sensation.

In lab animals that receive a reward each time the lever is pressed, interest eventually wanes. After all, they know that as soon as they want a reward, they will receive it.

The same principle applies in relationships: if you are a guy or a girl who responds to messages without delay, you begin to be taken for granted. As a result, you lower your value as a reward. This means that the other person will not feel a strong need to respond to the message. Or, as in the case of laboratory animals, the need to push a lever.

What do texting and gambling have in common?

Messaging is an environment in which our mind begins to work in a specific way. Before everyone had cell phones, people always waited some time (several hours or days) before calling back, but in such a way that the other person did not feel anxious. Correspondence taught us to get faster responses. According to surveys, this figure varies from person to person in the range from 10 minutes to one hour.

Natasha Schüll, an anthropologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (USA), studies gambling addiction, in particular, what happens to the minds and bodies of people who are addicted to slot machines. Unlike cards, horse races, or the weekly lottery, which make players wait (for their turn, when the horses finish, the start of the weekly draw), slot machines allow you to play gambling without delay, as the player promptly receives information.

You are used to expecting instant results, so you start to lose patience with any slightest delay. When you text someone you like but don't know well enough yet, it's very similar to slot machine. There is also a lot of uncertainty, anticipation, anxiety. You are set to receive a message. You want it, you need it right now. But if you don't get a quick response, it will throw you off track.

Natasha Shul

Text messages are different from the messages people left on answering machines before the advent of smartphones. A message on an answering machine can be compared to a purchase lottery ticket. You know in advance that you have to wait until you know winning numbers. You don't expect to be called back immediately. You can even enjoy this feeling of uncertainty because you know in advance that you will have to wait a few days. But in the case of text messages, if you don't get a response after 15 minutes, then you start going crazy.

How to appear more attractive in the eyes of another person

The psychological principles associated with waiting can be a very useful strategy for a single person who wants to appear more attractive.

For example, let's say you are a man who met three women at a bar. The next day you write to them. Two respond quickly enough, and the third does not respond at all. The first two women showed interest in you, and your brain, having received the answer, calmed down. But the third woman, without answering, created uncertainty, and your brain begins to look for an explanation for her act. You don't lose interest: “Why isn't she answering? What is wrong with me? Maybe I did something wrong? This uncertainty, social psychologists have found, can lead to strong romantic attraction.

A team of scientists - Erin Whitchurch, Timothy Wilson and Daniel Gilbert - conducted a study in which women were shown profiles different men on the social network Facebook, who, in turn, told what they think about their profiles.

• One group of women was shown the profiles of men who rated the profiles of the subjects from this group as the best.
• The second group was told that they were shown profiles of men who rated their accounts as average.
• The third group was shown profiles of men who could not decide whether they liked these women or not.

Women were expected to give preference to men who rated them as the best over the average (by the principle of reciprocity - we like people who love us). However, women were more likely to prefer men from the undecided group. Later, they also reported that they thought more about men who were undecided in the assessment.

When you think a lot about a person, their image is firmly established in your head, which, ultimately, can lead to attraction.

Another idea from social psychology that concerns our expectation games is the principle of scarcity. Usually we perceive something as more desirable when it seems to us beyond our reach. So when you rarely get messages from someone, in effect, that person is artificially creating scarcity and presenting themselves in a better light.

Don't take it personally

You wrote to a person and invited him on a date, but there was no reaction from him. What to do in such a situation? Certainly do not sprinkle ashes on your head and think what you said or did wrong. Remember that sometimes it's not about you, it's about other factors that come into play. There may be something going on in a person's life that you have no idea about, but this can affect his desire to start a relationship.