See also funny poems about school for children. The advantages of our funny scenes are that they do not require costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and the one who plays the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be put in a magazine), they need to be rehearsed for a short time. At the same time, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes, looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. See also School Humor.
1. Scene "At the lessons of the Russian language"
Teacher: Let's hear how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first will get a point higher.
Disciple Ivanov (pulls out his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!
Teacher: Your composition about a dog, Petrov, word for word is similar to Ivanov's composition!
Disciple Petrov: Mary Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all!
Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why is it not finished?
Student Sidorov: But because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, confess, who wrote the essay for you?
Pupil Koshkin: I don't know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandpa? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is "egg", Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Student Sinichkin: Because it is not known who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Student Petushkov: "Table", "chair" and "sock" - male, and "stocking" - female.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the blackboard, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes: "Dad went to the garage."
Teacher: Ready? We listen to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad - subject, left - predicate, in the garage - ... pretext.
Teacher: Who guys can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Tyulkin's student holds out her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Tyulkin's student: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral "three".
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a knitwear factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the blackboard, write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where did you see bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Bags, what part of speech is the word "dryish"?
Pupil Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, give me your example now.
Pupil Petushkov: A cat is a dog.
Teacher: And what about "cat - dog"?
Disciple Petushkov: Well, how? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Disciple Sidorov: It's a pity to waste time at a break!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What about you?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Sushkin's student: Mary Ivanna, call!
2. Scene "Correct answer"
Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is that?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn't he owe you a plum?
Student: No, you shouldn't plum.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don't like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How much is correct?
Teacher: And now I will put the correct answer in your diary!
(I. Butman)
3. Scene "Our cases"
Characters: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down short story which I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then he promised to improve.”
The student writes from dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Great! Underline all the nouns in your story.
The student underlines the words: “dad”, “mother”, “Vova”, “behavior”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Decide what case these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Student: Mom and Dad. Who? What? Parents. So, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, what? Vova. "Vova" is a name. So the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has an instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. So, here “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, the “promise”, of course, is in dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest to give yourself?
Student: What? Of course, five!
Teacher: So five? By the way, in what case did you call this word “five”?
Student: Prepositional!
Teacher: In a prepositional? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)
4. Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"
Characters: teacher and students of the class
Teacher: Petrov, you can hardly count to ten. I have no idea who you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!
Teacher: Trushkin is coming to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How...
Disciple Trushkin goes to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there are sweets!
Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your yesterday's deuce in it.
Disciple Petrov: I don't have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Disciple Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don't know math!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don't know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how much is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will only answer your question in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: Mom doesn't have free time!
Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 on your own.
The students get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentiev?
Disciple Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he is copying me, and I'm just checking whether he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Shcherbinin's student: This is a mathematical Greek.
5. Scene "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: teacher and students of the class
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov raises his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: A tiger, a tigress and... three cubs.
Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Kosichkin's student: These are the kind of forests in which ... it's good to take a nap.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Simakov's student: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to a person?
Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Apprentice Roosters: "Frog Traveler"
Teacher: Who will answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.
Student Zaitsev holds out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it entirely depends on the cat.
Teacher: Go to the blackboard ... Meshkov and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (going to the blackboard): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head - seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you are saying! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt the amazingly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer where the bird flies with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand above all.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Pupil Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, which teeth appear last in a person?
Teplyakov's student: Plug-in, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very complex issue, for the correct answer I will immediately put the top five with a plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin raises his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Disciple Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
6. Scene "Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took a folder by mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrew: Ha-ha-ha! Indeed, it's funny.
Vovka (surprised): What's so funny? I haven't started talking yet.
Andrey (laughing): Folder... under the arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder under the arm and will not fit, he's not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? Folder - daddy. You forgot how to speak correctly from laughter, or what?
Andrei: (winking and pounding his forehead): Ah, I guessed! Grandfather - under the arm! He speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great you came up with it - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. You didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh, you interfere with speaking. Yes, even dragged my grandfather, put him under his arm, what a storyteller was found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrei (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why funny stories to tell if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)
7. Scene "3=7 and 2=5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: All year you did nothing, did not study anything. I don't know exactly what to put in the statement.
Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, scientific work was doing.
Teacher: What are you? What?
Petrov: I decided that all of our mathematics is wrong and ... I proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It's not my fault that Pythagoras was mistaken and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he, too, After all, they said that three is only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): That's not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is it?
Petrov: Look, 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 = 0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yep! So, Petrov, survived.
Petrov: I didn't want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you can't sin!
Teacher: Understood. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5 (4-4) \u003d 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: That's it, Petrov, I give you a "2"!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don't be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both parts of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. So did you do it?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put "2", it doesn't matter. BUT?
Petrov: No, it's not all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, "5" is better.
Teacher: Perhaps better, Petrov, but until you prove it, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to a five!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper " Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
8. Scene "Schoolboy and seller"
Characters: a schoolboy and a shop assistant
Sales assistant: What do you suggest?
Schoolchild: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales assistant: I don't know.
Schoolchild: Okay ... Pythagorean theorem?
Sales Assistant: … (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales Assistant: (sighing) I don't know...
Schoolboy: Well, what are you climbing then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
9. Scene "Schoolchildren at the stadium"
Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant
A group of young fans led by a leader loudly chant:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly, the voice of the stadium informant turns on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
"SPA-RTAK IS A ROMAN SLAVE!" "SPA-RTAK IS A ROMAN SLAVE!"
(KVN team from Ryazan)
10. Scene "Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather"
Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov
Hello Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Wu, the deeds of might.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, one wick blew such a thing. Rides to the sket. Give, he says, great to drive. Sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And he let's show off. Broke the mitten. Yes, how shaky. Himself with a black eye. The teacher almost went off the rails, but the bike hooted. In rzhachka. Cool, right?
- And what, there was a horse?
- What horse?
- Well, who was neighing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Nu, nothing you not understood?
- Come on, let's start over.
- Well, let's. So one wick...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- And what is this wick?
- Well, one guy, long, rolled up to the box ...
- What did he ride, on a bicycle?
- No, the child had a bicycle.
- Which sket?
- Well, shibzdik one. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a schnobel.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with whom, but with what, his nose is in the form of a schnobel. Well, let's go, he says, it's great to drive. Sat down and scratched.
- Did he itch something?
- No, he drank.
- Well, how did you cut it?
- What did you cut?
- Well, is it big?
- How?
- Well, this same, schnobel?
- No, the little girl had a schnobel. And the wick had a black eye, a bzig struck him in the head, and he began to roam. He opened his mitten, so he twitched.
- And why the mitten, did he twitch in the winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a black eye, that is, with a great one, no, with coils. But the very rolling, that great whooped.
- How did you goof off?
- Well, covered up. into small pieces. Now understand?
- Understood. I realized that you do not know Russian at all.
- I don't know how!
- Can you imagine if everyone spoke the way you do, what would happen?
- What?
Do you remember Gogol's? “Wonderful is the Dnieper in calm weather, when it rushes freely and smoothly through its forests and mountains full of its waters, it neither rustles nor thunders.
- I remember.
- Now listen to how it sounds in your bzik language: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, roaming and showing off, it saws its cool waves through forests and mountains. you don't know if he saws or doesn't saw. A rare bird with a schnobel combs up to the middle of the Dnieper. Do you like?
- I like it, - he said and ran, shouting: "Cool Dnieper in cool weather."
(Lion Izmailov)
11. A young man in a nightclub
Characters: girl, young man, mother
A girl is sitting at the bar. A young man approaches her.
Young man: Hey babe! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there are some.
YOUNG MAN: Can you come with me? I will arrange an unforgettable evening for you!
GIRL: Sounds. But my mother is waiting for me at 23-00 at home.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Drop it! What are you, 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom? Ha!
Suddenly young man someone's hand confidently takes by the ear. Everyone sees that this is the hand of an aged woman.
YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, Mom! I…
MOM: I don't want to hear! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
12. Radiologist's office
Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist
Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. The doctor is sitting at the table.
They enter the office a little boy and grandmother.
GRANDMA (pointing to the boy). I've looked all over, there are no points anywhere. I think he swallowed them. All in his grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST (referring to the boy). Have you swallowed granny's glasses?
The boy does not answer.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! All in his grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and through and find out everything.
GRANDMA (happily). Yep, got it! Would love to have something like this at home.
RADIOLOGIST (examines the picture). Well, well, well ... You know ... he has here not only glasses, but also a wallet with money. I can’t say for sure, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. It's not ours, we don't need someone else's. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist comes up to the boy, picks him up by his legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall to the floor.
GRANDMA (grabbing glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don't even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
RADIOLOGIST (turns the wallet in his hands). No need. But the wallet, if possible, I will leave myself as a keepsake.
GRANDMOTHER. It's not ours, not ours, we don't need someone else's.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
RADIOLOGIST (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)
Characters:
Father: Serpent Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Math teacher: Leshy
Geography teacher: Kikimora
Botany Teacher: Witch
Class teacher: Water
ZMEY GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher's room):
... Yes, I told him a hundred times! ..
So what did he do again?
LESHIY:
Multiply a minus with a sine -
Got a minus one!
KIKIMORA:
Confused albinos
With albatrosses...
WITCH:
Threw apricots...
KIKIMORA:
Blowing soap bubbles!
LESHIY:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!
KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And infected everyone with a yawn!
WATER:
But yesterday
dragged to class
Behemoth!!!
LESHIY:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!
BABA YAGA (unctuous):
Maybe give him poison?
Or throw it to the wolves?
AM -
And there is no bad student!
KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our age
Such measures are outdated.
LESHIY:
A hundred years ago
We would have it
Of course,
Ate...
But now
We have
Not many students
In reserve...
WATER:
I agree!
Let's not run
To extreme measures.
WITCH:
Let's try to get him
Good example.
ZMEY GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmmm... Less, more...
That is, more or less!
And yet...
WITCH (interrupts):
BUT...
Understand!
Your example doesn't work...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!
BABA YAGA:
Oh, how much trouble with children! ..
DRAGON:
Lock him in the closet - let him learn lessons!
And if he doesn't stop yawning...
ALL IN CHOIR:
We will turn it
In chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)
14. Daily routine
Characters:
Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya
PETYA:
- And you, Vova, do you know what a regime is?
VOVA:
- Of course! Regime… Regime is where I want, I jump there.
PETYA:
- Not properly! Routine is the order of the day. Are you doing it?
VOVA:
- I even overfulfill it.
PETYA:
- Like this?
VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, and I walk four!
PETYA:
- No, you are not overfulfilling it, but breaking it! Do you know what the daily routine should be?
VOVA:
- I know! Climb. Charger. Washing. Bed cleaning. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.
PETYA:
- Good.
VOVA:
- And it can be even better.
PETYA:
- How is it?
VOVA:
- Like this! Climb. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.
PETYA:
- Oh no. In this mode, you will turn out to be a lazy and ignoramus.
VOVA:
- Will not work.
PETYA:
- Why?
VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we carry out the whole regimen.
PETYA:
- How is it with your grandmother?
VOVA:
- And so. Half of it is done by me, and half by my grandmother. And together it turns out the whole regime.
PETYA:
- I do not understand!
VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lifting. Charging is performed by the grandmother. Washing is a grandmother. Bed cleaning - grandmother. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Cooking lessons - my grandmother and I. Walk - me. Lunch is me.
PETYA:
- Aren't you ashamed?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.
https://website/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/
15. About Pushkin
Two duelists stand opposite each other. One of them is Pushkin.
Second: Come on!
Pushkin and his opponent raise their pistols. Approach barriers. Pushkin's opponent makes a shot. Pushkin is wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.
Pushkin: For what?
Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, they left me for the second year in literature !!!
16. School riddles
Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov
SCHOOLCHILD (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing to a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is slow-witted! Here I came across interesting riddles about school affairs, and riddles should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then I decided to test Vovka for quick wits.
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “Between two calls, the term is called ...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!
SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that's right, "change" is suitable, but there should be a guess in rhyme!
VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, he himself said that it was right, and then you start ...
SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me give you another riddle, just think before you say the answer. “The athlete told us: Everyone go to the sports ...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
Score!
SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? What for? Where did you see him?
VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? I need to buy new sneakers, otherwise the sole of mine is already lagging behind on my left foot. And the Sporting Goods store is right in front of the school. You, too, have seen him a hundred times.
SCHOOLBOY (to the side of the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!
SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Can you solve this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not simple buildings, schools get…”
VOVKA SIDOROV:
Over the head! Yesterday, I almost didn’t touch the bow at Lenka Petrova’s, and she bang-bang me with a book on the head.
SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to another riddle: “And today I got another grade…”
VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts):
Three, three I again received in mathematics.
STUDENT (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well Vovka and slow-witted! Well dumbass! Although ... I look, his face is cunning, tricky. Maybe he played me? Today is April 1st!!!
(Leonid Medvedev)
17. About parents
A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.
Man: Hello, honey! … Did our Mishka do his homework? … Yes? How about in his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he leave the room? Crap! Did you eat soup? Nothing ... I just went to the store, and then the sale of belts!
Intellectual game KVN
Purpose: To promote the formation individual abilities children through intellectual game KVN.
Tasks:
- Ensure development cognitive activity, logical and creative thinking,
Memory and attention of children;
- To ensure the development of the ability to make simple inferences;
- Fix geometric representations;
- Repeat the quantitative and ordinal count, numbers 0 - 9;
- Contribute to the formation of the team of the group;
- Maintain friendly relations among the students of the group.
(KVN callsigns include teams)
Leading: We start KVN!
He came to us - do not frown.
Have fun to the end.
You are not a spectator or a guest,
And the programs of our nail!
Don't be shy, don't break
Obey all laws!
Let me introduce both teams.
Team Zvezda, Team Captain...
Team greeting: We shine high
It won't be easy to get us.
You'll have to try
To be able to reach us.
Team "Rocket", team captain ...
Team greeting: Let's fly to other planets!
We announce this to everyone.
We'll take off on a rocket
And up to the stars we will all instantly domchim.
(Jury presentation)
Leading: We know you love games
Songs, jokes, riddles.
But there is nothing more interesting
Than our fairy tales!
1. Competition - warm-up: "Guess the riddle"
Know this bastard
Don't fool anyone:
Cannibal like a mouse
I managed to swallow!
And the spurs jingle on his feet,
Tell me who is it?
(Puss in Boots.)
She taught Pinocchio to write,
And she helped to find the golden key.
That doll girl with big eyes
Like an azure sky, with hair,
On a pretty face - a neat little nose.
What is her name? Answer the question.
(Malvina)
I went to visit my grandmother
She brought the pies.
The Gray Wolf followed her,
Deceived and swallowed.
(Red Riding Hood).
Evening would soon come
And the long-awaited hour has come,
To me in a gilded carriage
Go to a fabulous ball!
No one in the palace will know
Where am I from, what is my name,
But as soon as midnight comes,
I'll go back to my attic. (Cinderella)
Self-confident, though clumsy,
And by nature he is a big nerd,
Come on, guess him,
Known to everyone under the name ... (Dunno)
The same mischievous as the letter "B".
The passenger is a little strange
wooden man,
On land and underwater
Looking for a golden key.
It has a long nose everywhere.
Who is he? (Pinocchio).
(Jury summing up)
2.Mathematical competition "Name the neighbors"
Each member of both teams receives a card with a certain amount objects, you need to count and name the neighbors of this number.
(Jury summing up)
3. Competition "Who was?"
(the task for each team is given in turn)
Chicken - egg
Butterfly - caterpillar
Cow - calf
Shirt - cloth
Oak - acorn
Frog - tadpole
Fish - caviar
Wardrobe - board
(Jury summing up)
4. Competition "Help Dunno"
(Children solve a problem situation)
1. Dunno wants to invite a lot of friends to his birthday, but how to make a lot of invitation cards in a short time?
2. Dunno was playing with a typewriter, suddenly a metal bolt fell out of the typewriter into a box with Lego. How can he quickly find a bolt among the details of the designer.
(Jury summing up)
Fizminutka
5.Competition "The fourth extra".
All members of each team receive a card on which they must choose extra item and explain why it is redundant.
(Jury summing up)
6. Competition of captains "Connect the dots in order from 1 to 10."
Connect the dots in order from 1 to 10
(Jury summing up)
3. Competition "Magic Mirror"
Each team receives a split picture of a fairy tale. You need to quickly collect and name a fairy tale.
Bang!!!
And the mirror broke.
To smithereens!
And forever.
How did it happen?!
What a misfortune! Here's the trouble!
However, don't worry
Don't waste your time.
Try from the fragments
Assemble the mirror again!
(Jury summing up)
7.Homework“What or who is it about?”. (Using ESM)
Members of one team guess a riddle-description of the other and vice versa.
- This piece of furniture is in the living room. It has glass doors, shelves, legs. It contains books. What's this?
- Long, green, crispy, pimply. Grows in the garden in the garden. What's this?
- Round, ruddy, juicy, smooth, sweet. Rasho in the tree garden. What's this?
- Oval, yellow, sour, juicy. Grows in the garden on a tree.
(Jury summing up)
8. Competition "Riddles-jokes"
1. What kind of dishes can not eat anything?
(From empty)
2. Can I bring water in a sieve?
(You can when it freezes)
(Jury summing up)
9.Musical competition"Guess the melody".
Each team must guess several children's songs from fragments.
(Summarizing the results of the jury)
Leading: Our KVN was a success,
We think everyone liked it.
We sincerely wish you
All the best,
All the best, friends
It doesn't come cheap to us.
May every day and every hour
You will get a new one.
May your mind be good
And the heart will be smart!
(Congratulations to the winners)
The children realized that they were unlikely to leave the forest after the words of the OBZhshnik: “Children, I found moss, eat!”
CamBridge (KemTIPP team)
and as the Italian proverb says, gore me Zidane.
Children of Lieutenant Schmidt
Here is a coincidence: the director of the gas station has children born in 92, 95 and 98
Georgy Valentinych
The children decided to take revenge on their parents and unexpectedly, without warning, arrived at the dacha.
Female version, GUU
The Slavs were a freedom-loving people, they were often driven into slavery, but they did not work there either.
Children of Lieutenant Schmidt
If in the Middle Ages children shouted "Sefa", this meant a real danger.
Papkin slippers Samara - Volgograd
Sicilians only eat chicken with eggs. After all, otherwise the children will grow up and take revenge.
Petersburg team
Best defense is attack. Parents were the first to ask Vanya where children come from.
Female version, GUU
The children rejoiced and laughed, and the clown Petya tried to explain that he had been stung by a scorpion.
Soyuz, Tyumen region
My children, I am dying, bring me a glass of water.
- Father, on January 1, everyone is dying, take it, bring it yourself!
Flight attendant kids don't play rock, paper, scissors. They play meat, chicken, fish.
Team YAMAL
Petya no longer wanted to know where the children came from, but there was no stopping the father.
Bad Company
Dear passengers! Remember! Among you on the bus there are elderly people, children and disabled people. Be careful not to leave your belongings unattended...
Dear passengers! Remember! Among you on the bus there are elderly people, children and disabled people. Be careful not to leave your belongings unattended...
For all misconduct, the counselor punished the children with push-ups, and by the end of the season, the children could force the counselor to do anything.
Central Park of Culture and Leisure
In childhood, while other children were rolling down the hill, the future traffic police officers stood nearby and watched.
Team of Kutafin University "Barricade instance"
For us, KVN is like an elephant's trunk. He is needed for life, but it seems that for laughter.
Children of Lieutenant Schmidt
The LDPR party built Kindergarten, now children go to the potty with the slogan "enough to endure it!"
"Guests from Rostov"
Tikhomirova Elena DmitrievnaMBDOU kindergarten No. 44 of the city of Belovo
Game - KVN for older children up to school age.
Annotation: Children and parents participate in the KVN game, in which they perform different tasks show their talents.
Teams of parents - "Literates" and children - "Znaiki" take part in the game. Jury members can be educators of other groups, a methodologist preschool, manager.
Parents and children meet each other in the hall, sit down at the tables.
Leading . Everyone! Everyone! Everyone! Let's start our KVN!
Captain of the Znayki team. We came to this evening not to be lazy, to answer questions, sing and have fun. We tell our rivals "Literates" ...
Children. We will fight with you and we will not give up so easily!
Captain of the Grammar Team . And we send a fiery hello to the Znayka team and sincerely wish to know the correct answer!
Warm up
Leading. I will ask questions now. Don't hesitate to answer them! (The team that raises the flag first will answer.)
How many legs does an octopus have?
"Mind is good, but ... better." What word is missing?
What number is included in the title of the fairy tale about Naf-Naf, Nuf-Nuf and Nif-Nif?
How many days in a week?
How many fingers are on the hand?
Leading. Who wants to talk, he must pronounce everything correctly and clearly, so that everyone can understand. Therefore, the next warm-up task is "Who will talk to whom." (Quickly and clearly pronounce as many tongue twisters as possible)
From the clatter of hooves, dust flies across the field.
Grass in the yard, firewood on the grass.
Do not cut wood in the middle of the yard.
Leading. You can't repeat all the tongue twisters!
Musical competition
Leading . Everyone in the world loves music: both adults and children.
1st child . All goats love to sing
All calves love to sing
All curls on lamb
They love to whistle songs! (Yu.Moritz)
Adults and children sing V. Shainsky's song "Smile".
Leading. There is a little bit of everything in our orchestra. We will play a tambourine, rattles and spoons. We will not go for raspberries, but we will play "Kalinka" for you. Children and parents perform music for the song "Kalinka".
Homework
Leading . Sisters are hiding in this young woman. Each sister is a dungeon for a smaller one.
"Znayki" show a dramatization of "Matryoshka",
Leading . Eight wooden dolls
Chubby and ruddy
In multi-colored sundresses
They live on our table
They are all called matryoshkas.
1 child . The first doll is thick
And inside it's empty
It splits into two halves.
Another one lives in it.
doll in the middle.
2 child . Open this doll
There will be a third in the second.
3 child . Unscrew one half
Dense, lapped, -
And can you find
fourth doll,
Take it out and have a look
Who is hiding inside.
4 child. Hiding in her fifth
pupa is chubby,
And empty inside.
5 child . The sixth lives in it.
6 child . And in the sixth - the seventh.
7 child. And in the seventh - the eighth.
Leading. These dolls are the smallest
a littlemore than a nut.
Here they are in a row
Doll sisters are standing.
How many of you? -
We will ask them.
And the dolls will answer:
Eight!
"Znayki" perform any Russian folk dance.
Leading . Grandfather planted a turnip. How? He took a hammer, hammered a seed into the ground, combed the ground with a comb and smoothed it with an iron so that it was even. Then he took a funnel, watered the ground, cut down the weeds with a saw, played the balalaika to make it rain ... And when the turnip grew, the grandfather picked it up with a grip and ... Well, that's enough! Was it so, "Literates"?
"Literates" show a dramatization of the fairy tale "Turnip".
Captains competition
The leader makes riddles to the captains, the one who first raises his hand answers.
One pours, the second drinks, and the third turns green and grows. (Rain, earth, grass.)
One speaks, two watch, two listen. (Language, eyes, ears.)
Three brothers went to the river to swim. Two are swimming, the third is lying on the shore. Bathed - went out, hung on the third. (Buckets and yoke.)
Two rings, two ends, carnations in the middle. (Scissors.)
Four brothers live under one roof. (Table.)
Five boys - five closets. The boys dispersed, each boy to his closet. (Fingers in gloves.)
Assignment to the captain of the Znayki team: look carefully at the picture and find objects in it that cannot be used without knowing how to count and not knowing the numbers.
Assignment to the captain of the "Literacy" team: what statement is hidden in the picture? (Make words from the first letters of the names of the objects depicted)
Leading . We thought and had fun
And sometimes they even argued
But very friendly our game,
The game is replaced by the game,
The game ends
But the friendship doesn't end.
Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! /AT. Berestov/
The jury members sum up.
To the music, the participants of the game leave the hall.
Methodological development (senior group) on the topic: Intellectual KVN for children 5-6 years old
Goals:1. To teach children to find solutions to problems based on preliminary reflection on the course of the solution.
2. Fixing the account within 10.
3. Shaping logical thinking children.
4. Development of competitive qualities of children.
To the music, children enter the hall, the hall is decorated accordingly. Spectators sit in the hall (parents, children from the preparatory group)
Presenter:- Today we will arrange an intellectual competition. Are the teams ready?
Children: - Yes!
Presenter:- We have two teams of children, there are spectators and there is a jury that will observe the course of the competition and evaluate your results.
Presenter:- Teams greet each other and our spectators.
The Smart Team.
"We are smart kids, kids are naughty,
We love to play in KVN and, of course, to win.”
Our motto: "One mind is good, but many are better."
Team "Znaiki".
“We are the guys of the know-it-all, the know-it-alls are not the know-it-alls,
We play different games, we win in KVN.
Our motto: "Knowledge is power."
Presenter:- Let's start our intellectual competition. Teams will receive points for each task.
Exercise 1. "Warm-up for the mind"
The facilitator asks the children the following tasks. The team that raises the flag the fastest will answer. (1 correct answer = 1 point)
1) Liquid, not water, white, not snow.
(Milk)
2) What grows upside down.
(Icicle)
3) Who can't be picked up from the floor by the tail?
(ball of thread)
4) Seven brothers have one sister each. How many sisters are there?
(One)
5) Two mothers, two daughters and a grandmother with a granddaughter. How many?
(Three: grandmother, mother and daughter)
6) There are three apples in the basket. How to divide them among three children so that one apple remains in the basket?
(Give away one with the basket)
7) One man has four sons and each of them has a sister. How many children does he have?
(Five persons)
8) There were sweets on the table. Two mothers, two daughters, and a grandmother and granddaughter each took one piece of candy. How many sweets were on the table?
(Three)
9) When a goose stands on one leg, it weighs 7 kg. How much will a goose weigh if it stands on two legs?
(7 kg)
10) In the running competition, Yura, Grisha and Tolya won prizes. What place did each of them take if Grisha did not take second or third place, and Tolya did not take third?
(Grisha - 1, Tolya - 2, Yura - 3)
Task 2. "Logic Pair"
The children are given the task to look at the pictures and continue the row. (1 correctly completed task = 5 points)
Task for 1 team:
Tasks for 2 teams:
Task 3. "Let's pick up the sea piece by piece"
Children are given a task, whose team will collect the picture faster, gets 5 points, if the second one completes the task later, gets 3 points, if it does not complete 0 points. You need to collect the picture in stripes, putting the numbers in order.
Intermediate scoring is done.
Host: Well done guys! And now we will rest a little.
The music is turned on, exercises are performed to the music.
While the votes are being counted, the audience is invited to guess tricky riddles.
Everything is dressed in white snow -
So it's coming...
(winter)
At night, every window
Weak lighting...
(moon)
Friend of animals and friend of children
kind doctor...
(Aibolit)
Crows awake
Dear, kind...
(rooster)
tall, long-legged,
He is not too lazy to fly -
On a straw roof
Settled...
(stork)
Task 4. "Euler circles»
The team with the lowest number of points chooses the difficulty of the task.
1 level of difficulty - 5 points
2nd level of difficulty - 7 points
You need to choose the correct answer.
1st level:
2nd level:
Task 5. "Captains"
Team captains participate in the competition. You need to find 10 differences between two pictures. Each team receives as many points as there are differences. (1 difference = 1 point)
1 team:
2 team:
- Guys, ours is over. mathematical KVN. Now the final results will be summed up, so the floor is given to the jury.
All children are awarded medals "Intellectuals"
