Shakespeare on the nature and character of women. Women in the auditorium

Today, feminist research on the role and significance of women in world culture, both past and present, plays a huge role in the scientific literature in Europe and the United States. From this point of view, the most diverse periods of the history of culture, including the Renaissance, are considered. Dozens and hundreds of articles, monographs, collective studies are devoted to the issue of the position of women in the Renaissance.

Many authors note the plight of a woman if she did not belong to high society and, nevertheless, aspired to independence. For example, having arrived in London, she could not become an actress ( female roles young men played in the theater), she could not write plays - English society was suspicious of a woman with a pen in her hands. There was only one opportunity waiting for her - to become a prostitute, like Mole Flanders, which was described by Daniel Defoe.

True, there are other opinions about Shakespeare's attitude towards women, focusing on the constant sympathy of the English playwright for his intellectual heroines. Some even speak of Shakespeare as a man who, if not a feminist, clearly and vigorously sympathized with him. This begs the question: was Shakespeare a feminist or not? There is a lot of controversy on this topic in feminist literature and, obviously, this issue should be sorted out.

Shakespeare lived in an era when England was experiencing an economic and political upsurge, and when the country felt the need for change and reform. The humanistic ideology, which was reflected in the writings of Thomas More, urgently demanded a reform of women's education, a radical change in attitudes towards women, and the establishment of her, if not political, then intellectual equality with men.

Julia Dazinber, author of the interesting study Shakespeare on the Nature of Women, writes: “The aristocratic women of the English court confirmed More's view that women are intellectually equal to men. Wife Henry VIII, Lady Anna Clifford, Countess of Pembroke, and later Lady Catherine Parr were widely known for their learning. This line could be followed by many, from Lady Margaret Beamont to Margaret Poper and Elizabeth Cooke. English aristocrats of the 16th century were fond of emancipation and in this area they could well compete with educated women. Italian Renaissance like Vittoria Colonna. They passionately fought for equality and often won their fight. Shakespeare knew this well and the high intellectualism of his court women - Beatrice, Rosalind or Helen in the play All's Well That Ends Well - is based on the realities of English life.

Humanists opposed the medieval attitude towards women based on biblical tradition. According to biblical tradition, God gave Adam good wife but as a punishment for her sins, she had to obey her husband unquestioningly. All this sanctioned the tyranny of man over woman, against which the humanists rebelled. The humanist Agrippa, in his treatise On the Glory of Women, argued that Holy Scripture cannot serve as the basis for the tyranny of a man over a woman. “Neither husband nor wife, but a new being must exist. The differences between the sexes are manifested only in the body. God has given one soul for men and women." Vives writes a special essay in which he instructs a man on how to create a good and happy marriage based on the spiritual equality of husband and wife. Erasmus of Rotterdam also wrote extensively about the equality of women with men, objecting to the medieval idea of ​​the innate sinfulness of women. Believe me, he said, a bad wife is not by chance, but by a bad husband. A husband should not tame his wife, but his own shortcomings.

The upbringing of a woman becomes a special topic for Italian humanists. The famous historian and writer Leonardo Bruni Aretino addressed his treatise "On scientific and literary pursuits" to Battista Malatesta, one of the educated women of that time. In fact, this treatise is a program of women's education, built on the basis of humanistic ideas. In it, Aretino contrasts the old medieval education with a new educational system based on a wide study by a woman of philosophy, history, literature, oratory. I do not think, - writes Aretino, - that a woman should be content with sacred books, and I will lead her to secular knowledge. Universal knowledge, acquaintance with ancient authors - Homer, Hesiod, Pindar, Virgil, Euripides - knowledge of languages ​​​​and the ability to speak gracefully and competently Aretino believes necessary quality educated woman.

The German humanist Johann Butzbach writes a letter "On famous artists" (1505), addressed to the nun-artist Gertrude. In it, he tries to describe the work of famous women artists Ancient Greece and Rome as a role model modern women. Butzbach expresses the opinion that in the past women have made no less contribution to the art of painting and sculpture than men.

The Italian Renaissance is an era of individualism, creating conditions for the emergence of a strong and vibrant personality among both men and women. In this era, such women as Isabella de Este, Joan of Aragon, Vittoria Colonna, Isotta Nogarola, Veronica Gambara became widely known. Many of them were excellent musicians, poetesses, amazed those around them with their knowledge in the field of philosophy and history.

In England, humanistic ideology was closely intertwined with puritanism. Puritanism also sought to reform marriage and attitudes towards women in general. Calvin and Luther developed the Puritan idea of ​​the purity of marriage. Puritan literature in the 16th century is full of debates about the role of women in the family. The Puritans protested against forced marriage, against marriage for money, against adultery, against wife-beating. But at the same time, Puritan feminism was limited. Puritans saw in the wife only a good partner, a good companion. But they objected to the too free behavior of women in society. In London, many women wore men's clothes and even weapons, which caused outrage in the church. Puritanism was also against the theater, in particular because there men and women change clothes during the play.

In Shakespeare's time, there was also a tradition of courteous attitude to a woman, based on the glorification of her as a deity, and not on the recognition of her as a real earthly being, who is characterized by weaknesses, illnesses, the birth of children, etc. This tradition of "idolizing" a woman, turning her into an idol, an idol, received unexpected support from the Neoplatonic attitude to love, which glorified spiritual love as opposed to physical love. This idea of ​​Neoplatonic love was brought from France by Henrietta Maria, who admired spiritual love as a victory over the flesh.

These were the main ideological motives in relation to a woman - the old Christian tradition, puritanism, humanism. It is extremely interesting which of these motifs are reflected - positively or negatively - in Shakespeare's work.

It is obvious that Shakespeare completely lacks a doctrinaire Christian attitude towards a woman as a lower being subject to the tyranny of a man. Meanwhile, these ideas are still widespread among Shakespeare's early contemporaries. For example, in Thomas Middleton's comedy Mad World Gentlemen! we find a view of a woman as an accomplice of the devil and the source of all sin.

O women! Take them in your arms,
As we are already in the arms of the devil:
They sniffed each other for a long time,
And it became tricky to distinguish between them.
Well, how can we live? Cry and groan!
One religion remained - lust.
The ardor of the soul was replaced by an alcove ardor,
The face is a mask, constancy is a fashion,
And my own hair in a chignon. (IV, 3)

In another play by Shakespeare's younger contemporary John Webster, with the rather eloquent title All Litigation, Litigation, or When a Woman Sues, the Devil Himself Is Not Her Brother contains an angry denunciation of women:

You women have combined
All the horror of hell, the viciousness of the basilisk,
The insidiousness of love herbs.
Nature knows no greater abomination.
No, with a woman, the most vile of this creature
Only a woman can compare
She, like a tornado, sweeps away everything in nature,
What's in her way!

A much more realistic view of a woman was expressed by John Donne. He said: “To make goddesses out of them is undivine, to turn them into accomplices of the devil is a devilish idea, to see them as lovers is not like a man, to make servants out of them is ignoble. Obviously, it is necessary to treat them the way the Lord created them - and this will be both masculine and divinely directed.

In contrast medieval representation, in Shakespeare, a woman appears as a person capable of confounding a man in the field of education or intellectual training. In Shakespeare, we constantly meet a satirical attitude to the medieval understanding of women. Shakespeare ridicules and absurdizes the biblical ideal of marriage, when two people are united in one flesh. In Measure for Measure, Pompey, who is being recruited as a soldier, is asked if he can cut off a man's head. Pompey's answer is very symptomatic: "If he is a bachelor, then I can, if he is married, then he is the head of his wife, and I can never cut off a woman's head" (II, 2, 118). Hamlet, saying goodbye to Claudius before leaving for England, says to him: "Farewell, dear mother." “Your loving father,” Claudius corrects him. To which Hamlet, parodying the biblical covenant, remarks: “Father and mother are husband and wife; husband and wife are one flesh, therefore my mother” (“Hamlet”, IV, 3). And in the comedy “The End is the Crown of Things”, the jester turns the same idea into a comic paradox: “My wife is my flesh and blood. Who pleases my wife, pleases my flesh and blood; whoever pleases my blood and flesh loves my flesh and blood; whoever loves my flesh and blood is my friend; consequently, whoever embraces my wife is my friend” (I, 2).

Shakespeare challenges the traditional idea medieval philosophy about the inherent sinfulness of women. In the tragedy "Othello" he seems to respond to the idea of ​​Erasmus that the cause of a woman's sinfulness is in a bad husband. Emilia, Iago's wife and Desdemona's maid, says:

It seems to me that in the fall
Husbands are to blame. So not diligent
Or spent on others
Ile unreasonably jealous,
Or constrain the will, or beat,
Or dispose of the dowry.
We are not sheep, we can repay.
Let it be known to husbands that wives
The same device as they
And they feel and see the same way.
What is sour or sweet for a man
That is sour or sweet for a woman.
When he changes us for others,
What drives them? Chasing the forbidden?
Apparently. Thirst for change?
Yes, that too. Or weakness?
Of course yes. Don't we have
Need for the forbidden or the new?
And are we strong-willed than them?
So let them not reproach us with our evil.
In our sins, we take an example from them. (IV, 3)

In "Hamlet" Shakespeare demonstrates two types of education - men and women. When Polonius speaks of his son living in Paris, he is ready to justify his violent pranks, fights, and even drunkenness and debauchery with the “impulses of a hot mind” characteristic of a young man. But he absolutely forbids Ophelia from relying on her experience and surrounds her with a system of authoritarian prohibitions. Hamlet does not offer Ophelia anything new compared to what the father offers when he tells her: "Go to the monastery." As a result, Ophelia plunges into the abyss of male authoritarian ethics, she drowns in it, even before she drowns in the river. Shakespeare does not directly condemn this system of women's education, but convincingly shows us its natural tragic end.

Shakespeare's Ophelia is a sacrificial figure. She is a victim of her obedience to her father, on the one hand, and a victim of a rather harsh attitude towards her by Hamlet, who is passionate about his struggle with the deceit, surveillance and lies surrounding him, and therefore does not allow his feelings for Ophelia to develop. But how much tenderness, sympathy, respect in his attitude towards Ophelia. Without this, the image of Ophelia could lose its poetry, sacrifice and turn into a banal, wordless mediocrity.

Everywhere in his plays, Shakespeare appears as an opponent of the old, medieval tyranny of a man over a woman and as a supporter of a new, humanistic view of the role of a woman both in society and in family life.

At the same time, he is also an opponent of Puritanism, which at the time of Shakespeare also proclaimed the idea of ​​reforms in relation to the family and the upbringing of women and preached the ideal of purity of marriage. In Shakespeare, we constantly meet with a satirical attitude towards the ideals of puritanism. Shakespeare looks like a real Falstaff in relation to that idealized world of virtues that the Puritans proclaimed. So, in the comedy "The End of the Crown" ridicules the Puritan ideal of the purity of marriage and virginity, as its indispensable guarantor. Through the mouth of Parol, he proclaims that to keep virginity means to go against nature.

“The wisdom of nature is not in the preservation of virginity. On the contrary, the loss of virginity increases her wealth: after all, not a single new virgin can be born into the world without her virginity being lost for this. What you are made of is the material for making maidens. Once you lose your virginity, you can gain a dozen virgins; What's the use of her, virginity? To hell with her!” (I, 1)

Thus, Shakespeare is quite radical in his views on the place and role of women in the family and society. True, the idea may arise that to a certain extent this is contradicted by Shakespeare's play The Taming of the Shrew, in which, as we know, the action ends with the victory of Petruchio over Katharina, who tames the obstinate temper of his wife. The play ends with a speech by Katharina, who recognizes the natural weakness of women and calls them to submit to their husbands.

This play usually puzzles some researchers. Is there a rejection of the humanistic ideology in it in favor of the old, medieval idea of ​​the role and significance of women? For example, Shakespeare's translator A. Smirnov comes to this conclusion in his commentary on this play. “Shakespeare, despite his genius and progressive criticism of contemporary society, was nevertheless a son of his time, who could not even think of the complete everyday and legal emancipation of a woman. The bourgeoisie did not know such equality. The appearance of such equality existed in some circles of the advanced nobility, but it had an epicurean character there and served to raise the price of selfish pleasure up to the establishment of complete freedom of adultery and refined immorality. The prototype of Shakespeare's morality in this play of his - as, indeed, in all others - could rather serve as folk morality peasant family, recognizing the internal (moral and practical) equality of husband and wife, but nevertheless, in the sense of the guiding and guiding principle, giving primacy to the husband.

Today one cannot read without a smile about Shakespeare's struggle "against the predatory, anarchic amoralism of the era of the primitive accumulation of capital." The naive Marxism that A. Smirnov demonstrates in this passage about Shakespeare is not very convincing. Shakespeare is a supporter of the spiritual equality of men and women, but he does not offer any social forms- legal or property - for this equality. It seems to us that in The Taming of the Shrew, Shakespeare does not at all lose his sympathetic attitude towards women and does not at all suggest that husbands do the taming of their wives, which the Puritans suggested doing. It seems that Shakespeare wrote his comedy The Taming of the Shrew as a parody of Puritan marriage and the Puritan idea of ​​taming the Shrew, which was so widely discussed in his time. In the end, Petruchio achieves his goal, he turns Katarina into an obedient and complaisant wife who obeys her husband's authority in everything, but her obedience is a weapon against him, which gives the wife much more strength and independence than a family squabble. In the end, both of them, Petruchio and Katarina, appear in Shakespeare as quite worthy rivals and partners for each other. And Katarina's final speech does not at all call on women to passive humility and reverence for her husband, but suggests using other weapons against men than outright fights and quarrels.

All Shakespeare's plays are imbued with the spirit of democracy, the idea of ​​equality between people - between a man and a woman, to the same extent as in them there is a fundamental equality between the prince and the gravedigger, the jester and the courtier, the nurse and the queen. This spirit of equality permeates everything Shakespeare writes and says about women.

One of his main ideas is the idea that a man and a woman love equally and therefore there should be equality in love. In Twelfth Night, the Duke preaches medieval ideas about marriage. In particular, he says that a wife should be younger than her husband solely in order to learn submissiveness and adapt to his habits:

After all, a woman should be younger
his wife: then she according to the customs of her husband
submitting,
Can take over his soul.
Although we often exalt ourselves,
But in love we are capricious, lighter,
We get tired and cool faster than women. (II, 4)

On the other hand, the Duke doubts a woman's ability to love constantly and deeply. He proclaims the ideal of Neo-Platonic love as opposed to carnal, earthly love.

A woman's breasts can't bear the beating
Such a powerful passion as mine.
No in female heart too little space:
It cannot hold love.
Alas! Their feeling is just the hunger of the flesh.
They just need to quench it -
And immediately satiety sets in.
My passion is like the sea
And just as insatiable. No my boy
A woman cannot love me
How I love Olivia.
(Ibid.)

All this lengthy monologue does not convince Viola, who is listening to the Duke dressed in men's clothes, which makes their dialogue all the more intimate. She secretly loves the duke, which allows her to say:

I know
How much a woman loves. She is
In love, she is no less faithful than a man.
(Ibid.)

At the same time, she, convinced that the Duke, despite his neoplatonic praises of love, loves no one but himself, speaks not without bitterness about the difference between male and female love:

After all, we men
Though we squander promises
But we, talking about passion again and again,
They are generous with oaths, stingy with love.
(II, 4)

At the same time, Shakespeare penetrates deeply into the nature of female love, where bashfulness and sensuality, a sense of fear and the desire for self-giving fight. The struggle of these feelings is so beautifully conveyed by Juliet, who, in anticipation of a meeting with Romeo, turns to the night, trying to hide the confusion of her feelings:

Love and night live by the instinct of the blind.
Great-grandmother in black, prim night
Come and teach me fun
In which the loser in the profit,
And the stake is the purity of two creatures.
Hide how the blood burns with shame and fear,
Until suddenly she dares
And he will not understand how pure everything is in love.
Come, night!
("Romeo and Juliet", III, 2)

In Shakespeare we find a clear distinction between masculine and feminine, what is considered "femininity" and "masculinity". It seems that any modern supporter of gender studies can find in his works an abyss of interesting materials related to the peculiarity of female and male behavior.

First of all, Shakespeare speaks of femininity in the most direct and everyday sense, associated with the physical weakness of a woman, her connection with motherhood. Therefore, Lady Macbeth, when she plots murder, thinks first of all of renouncing her sex.

To me, O spirits of death! Change
I'm gender. me from head to toe
Drink evil. my blood
Thicken. Close the entrance for pity,
So that the voice of repentance nature
My resolve didn't waver.
Leaning on my nipples, not milk,
And suck the bile out of them greedily,
Invisible demons of murder...
("Macbeth", I, 5)

Shakespearean men are afraid to look feminine. The belligerent Hotspur in "Henry IV" does not give in to his wife's questions, declaring to her:

I will part with you now, my friend Kate.
I know you're smart, but not smarter
Spouses Percy: you are strong in spirit,
But you're still a woman...
("Henry IV", I, 3)

But it is precisely this everyday ethic, which asserts that a man is a man, and a woman is a woman, that causes the rebellion of many Shakespeare's heroines who are not content with the role prepared for them to be the husband's servant. Portia, the wife of Brutus, demands from her husband that he let her in on his plans:

Tell me, Brutus: maybe according to the law
Is it forbidden for a wife to know her husband's secrets?
Maybe my husband, I'm part of you
But with the limitation that I can
To share with you only meals and a bed
And talk occasionally? But really
Only on the outskirts of your pleasures
Should I live? Or Portia for Brutus
Became a concubine, not a wife?
("Julius Caesar", II, 1)

Shakespeare depicts women striving, if not for equality with a man, then for liberation from the dictates of a man in family life. Andriana in The Comedy of Errors, addressing her sister Luciana, raises the fundamental question of the freedom of men and women: “But why should they be freer than us?” Luciana responds by citing the traditional, purely dogmatic view of marriage:

It's not good when we're too free
That is dangerous; look at the whole world
There is no will in the earth, in the water and in the sky.
After all, female fish, winged birds, animals -
Everything is subordinate to the males.
Men are masters over the world:
Both land and water are submissive to them.
They are endowed with mind, soul,
Which creatures do not have a single one.
Their right is to dispose of everything in the family,
And the wife's duty is always to obey. (II, 1)

But it is obvious that such an answer does not satisfy Andrian. If a husband is a bridle on a woman's path to freedom, then such a marriage does not suit her, because, according to her, "only donkeys are satisfied with their bridle." Andriana is a real rebel, she demands equality with a man, otherwise she is ready to refuse marriage.

Shakespeare is an opponent of the deification of a woman, this outdated ritual of courtly love. In his plays, she appears in a real, life situation. Unlike the Neoplatonists, he does not proclaim a cult of some perfect woman, but talks about her age, illnesses, depicts her in a real setting, physical world, in search of love, in the struggle for their independence.

Shakespeare sympathizes with his educated women, who have humor, do not go into their pockets for words, and in verbal duels are able to shame any man. Interestingly, in his plays, women show sympathy for the world of professional jesters and jokers, as Celia does in relation to Touchstone, Viola - to Festus, Cordelia - to the jester in King Lear. His world of women is bright, joyful, playful, unlike the serious and preoccupied world of men. And the educated women of Shakespeare, just like his favorite jesters and wits, oppose this serious world, demonstrating their wit as if from the outside.

As we have said, Shakespeare's attitude towards women is sympathetic. Perhaps nowhere is this sympathy more evident than in Hamlet and Othello. We have already spoken about Ophelia, the tragic victim of a purely male showdown at the Danish court. Another female image, to which Shakespeare treats with particular sympathy, is Desdemona. She is the victim of two intersecting male aspirations - the cunning of the villain Iago and the jealousy of her husband.

Perhaps nowhere in Shakespeare's plays does a man look in such a degrading form as in Othello. Not so long ago, a brilliant general, whom Venice holds so highly and to whose military authority all doges bow, because of some petty slander against his wife, turns into a pitiful animal, losing all kinds of human qualities and dreaming of only one thing - her death and blood. In the inflamed imagination of Othello, Desdemona is not only a woman who betrayed her duty as a wife with Cassio, but also a participant in some unimaginable orgies in a castle that turned into a brothel.

Desdemona.
Tell me what is my sin? What have I done?
Othello.
Are you white as a white sheet for that,
To print in ink: "harlot"?
Tell me what your sin is, street creature,
Tell me, scum, what have you done?
With shame, I will heat my cheeks like a forge,
When I answer. It's boring to speak.
("Othello", IV, 2)

There are a huge number of interpretations of Othello, but most of them do not refer to Desdemona, but to Othello. Many authors focus on his pathological jealousy, others on his pathological gullibility. The English poet W. H. Auden, in his excellent article on "Othello" ("Jester in the Pack"), says that the basis of the tragedy lies not so much in Othello's love for Desdemona, but in racial problems, in relation to him, a military leader with dark skin, to Republic of Venice, and not only to Desdemona proper.

It seems that Auden is too prejudiced towards Desdemona when he says: “Everyone pities Desdemona, but I just can’t love her. Her intention to marry Othello - after all, she actually proposed to him - looks like a schoolgirl's romantic passion, and not the feeling of an adult: Othello's extraordinary life, full of amazing adventures, captivated her imagination, and what kind of person he was is not so important for us.

However, few people are interested in the causes of the tragedy of Desdemona herself. And they lie in the complete lack of personal freedom for women. As Desdemona herself says, whose father puts her before a choice - to follow him or go to Othello, she cannot reserve the right to be close to both her father and her husband, but must, as in feudal law, move from one to another. Desdemona herself says this:

Father, in such a circle my duty is doubled.
You gave life and education to me.
Both life and upbringing tell me
That obeying you is my child duty.
But here is my husband. Like my mother once
Changed the debt to you, so I from now on
Obedient to the Moor, my husband.
("Othello", I, 3)

The husband has the right to completely dispose of her life and fate, and she perishes regardless of whether he is a jealous or gullible person. In both cases, she has no chance of proving her innocence. In fact, as Shakespeare shows, she has no right to be heard.

Now back to the question we posed at the very beginning: was Shakespeare a feminist or not? It seems to us that Shakespeare was not a supporter of feminism, even in the sense of the word in which feminism existed at the court of Elizabeth. Shakespeare is often reproached by contemporary feminists for not being enough of an advocate for women. Indeed, Shakespeare never claimed to be a champion of women's rights. He sympathized with women, his the best heroines are not inferior to men, they are educated, witty, have a freedom of mind and know how to stand up for themselves in difficult situations. life situations. But Shakespeare never claimed to be a reformer of the family and marriage. He offered no recipes or reforms. The basis of his views on the family, as well as on the state as a whole, was the idea of ​​the unity of the micro- and macrocosm, which ensures harmony and order in society. Shakespeare cannot be considered a feminist in the modern sense of the word, mainly because he never separated the world of men and the world of women. One cannot but agree with the opinion of the author of Shakespeare and the Nature of Women, which we have already cited, who writes: “Shakespeare considered men and women equal in a world that recognized their inequality. He did not share human nature into male or female, although he found in every man or woman a huge number of commonalities with similar opposite impulses. To talk about Shakespeare's women is to talk about his men because he refused to share their world physically, intellectually or spiritually." Auden W. X. Reading. Letter. Essay on Literature. M., 1998. S. 213.

O female images Much has been written in Shakespeare's work. But we will talk about the women who surrounded the great playwright in real life.

What do we know about Shakespeare

Shakespeare's life is full of mysteries, the facts that we have are too scarce. He was born on April 23, 1564 in the small English town of Stratford-upon-Avon, was the third child in the family, at the age of seven he was sent to the local Grammar School, where they taught reading, writing and the rudiments of ancient languages. But the father soon took his son away from this school, needing his help. On this, in essence, the education of Shakespeare ended. His father, John Shakespeare, managed to grow up to be a typical provincial townsman who earned his living in trade. He even managed to rise to the position of burgomaster, although later he fell into very cramped circumstances and practically went bankrupt. It is known that at the age of eighteen William Shakespeare marries Anne Hathaway from neighboring village. The bride was eight years older than him, and their first child was born six months after the wedding - a fact that testifies to the forced nature of the marriage. Soon, twins are also born in the family. In 1585, Shakespeare left Stratford-upon-Avon, and until 1612 he only visited it briefly. It is assumed that Shakespeare was lured to the London theater by his fellow countryman Richard Burbage, the great tragic actor. About the first years of Shakespeare in London (1585-1592) we know almost nothing, and in general about the twenty years of his London creative life we know surprisingly little. It is known that he had high-ranking friends and patrons - Lord Southampton, Lord Essex, communication with which should have been beneficial for him. It seems strange that the playwright left his beloved theater in 1616 and went to his native Stratford to live out his century in the contentment of a wealthy tradesman, where he died on his birthday - April 23, 1616. The house in which Shakespeare was born, the Church of the Holy Trinity, where he was baptized and where his ashes rest, have survived to this day.

Gloriana

Shakespeare lived during the brilliant reign of Elizabeth 1, who received the nickname Gloriana, which means "glorious." She knew how to laugh, loved the theater and patronized the actors. Shakespeare was a leading member of her beloved troupe, and his plays were shown at court more than once. No doubt the Queen honored Shakespeare with a conversation.
England, which had recently survived a century of bloody feudal turmoil, needed strong power and stability. Elizabeth I suppressed feudal opposition by sending to the scaffold her rival, the Scottish Queen Mary Stuart, and later her favorite, Lord Essex, who was caught in a conspiracy. England conquered the world, victoriously paved new sea ​​routes and acquired new colonies.
Elizabeth I's father, Henry VII a short time succeeded six wives, two of whom were executed on his orders. Elizabeth's childhood was filled with a nightmare - she had to shiver from the cold, she fled more than once, a helpless girl at the mercy of terrible adult intriguers. It's amazing how she didn't turn into an uncontrollable violator of all the rules! The nervous and physical stress of this period of life affected her health. Her mood was erratic all her life. But she ruled the country very successfully.
Despite the terrible conditions in which she grew up, the queen acquired a vast knowledge. Her teachers were prominent people of her time and some of her unfortunate stepmothers, the wife of Henry VII. She knew Latin and Greek, history, geography and mathematics, mastered four modern languages ​​- French, Italian, Spanish and Flemish. She also knew the doctrines of the Reformed Church, which was important from a political point of view. She had a photographic memory. She was to become the first lady in the country and set the cultural standard by which other female representatives were to be equal.

Mother

Mary Arden, Shakespeare's mother, was a well-bred lady of impeccable conduct who belonged to the nobility-farmers. She came from a wealthy family, but she had to work her way to fame in her town of Stratford. She married a man who for a long time enjoyed the trust and respect of the inhabitants of the city, John Shakespeare, produced offspring for 22 years, but most of her offspring died as children. Diseases and epidemics then now and then mowed down people. As befits a woman of this age, she craved neither rights nor power beyond what she had in her home. We don't know what Mary looked like, but in Shakespeare's play " winter fairy tale”there are memories of a shepherd about a cheerful, hectic holiday, which was usually arranged by his wife - a wonderful hostess who knew how to have fun at the same time. Perhaps this was the mother of the playwright himself. According to the information that has been preserved about her, it can be assumed that she had tact and common sense.

Wife

daughters

The eldest, Susan, was a respectable citizen of her town, in which she occupied an important position as the daughter of Shakespeare, heir presumptive to a beautiful house. At the age of 24, she married Dr. John Hall, who was 32 years old. He had no medical education, although he graduated from King's College Cambridge. But in those days it was not an obstacle to the practice of medicine. Among his favorite drugs, with which he treated all diseases, were emetic tincture and laxative. He ran a pharmacy in the house, where he mixed potions with disgusting ingredients, like worms, crab eyes, dog and cat excrement, the smells of which irritated Susan. The doctor constantly praised the Lord as a powerful source of his success in the medical field. But on the other hand, he treated scurvy, which was especially common then in England, really correctly - with vitamin decoctions. Despite the doubtful, on the look modern man, the method of treatment, the doctor enjoyed authority, he was often called to the sick throughout the district, and Susan was left alone with her daughter Elizabeth. AT old age the doctor himself fell seriously ill, recovered, but his health did not recover, he had attacks of unreasonable and uncontrollable irritation. Susan took it with humility. When Shakespeare's granddaughter married, she had no children, and with her death, the branch of Shakespeare's direct heirs ceased.
Shakespeare's youngest daughter, Judith, was a black sheep in the family, lived to be 77 years old, but was a failure - her marriage was unhappy, her children died. Maybe she was timid and slow, being in the shadow of her older sister. She married only at the age of 31, her husband, Thomas Queenie, was four years younger. Her choice was unsuccessful. Her husband was involved in a bad story, which resulted in the death of a woman and her child from Thomas. William Shakespeare did not trust this son-in-law and deprived him of his inheritance. Judith never had a strong position in society, and even the location of her grave is unknown.

"Dark Lady"

There is no doubt that she existed in Shakespeare's life. It is impossible to consider the poet's passionate lines as mere formal exercises in poetry. There are suggestions that they are addressed to Mary, or Moll, Fitton, the queen's maid of honor, about whom all London was talking:
Moll came to court at the age of 17. She was proud of her noble origin.
Court life was fun - palace ceremonial, mask theater, risky tricks, love adventures ... Young maids of honor squealed and frolicked at night. The queen was aware of the life of her courtiers and repaired the guilty with severe reprisals. Moll was frivolous and shameless. She even dared to invite the queen to dance at the performance of masks. But the queen favored her. Moll was a black-haired and dark-skinned beauty. She was haunted by a married elderly court steward, to whom Shakespeare's epithet "disgusting pike" fits - he reported in letters to her older sister about how life goes on Moll, not at all hiding his dirty passion for the young lady. But he didn't have any the slightest chance, the poet Shakespeare appeared at court, treated kindly by the queen, who was much more attractive to Moll. The poet was fascinated by her irresistible black eyes:

I love your eyes. They got me
Forgotten, regret unfeignedly.
Burying a rejected friend
They, like mourning, wear their color black.

Her features for Shakespeare were "disastrous, like the plague."

But soon the Mall was removed from the court in disgrace. She left Shakespeare for William Herbert, who showed no honor to Moll by leaving her pregnant. The child soon died. The lines of the sonnets testify to Shakespeare's despair:

Love is a disease. My soul is sick
A lingering, unquenchable thirst...

And for a long time to me, devoid of mind,
Hell seemed like heaven, and darkness seemed to be light!

Always restrained and noble, he did not miss the opportunity to let go of a sharp remark about her in the play "Twelfth Night". However, perhaps these are not the words of a playwright, but an actor's "gag", which then got into the text of the play by accident. After an ugly incident, the well-known Mall in London became the heroine of mocking songs of commoners. Moll returned to her homeland in Cheshire, married twice, lived to be 69 years old. She had many grandchildren, to whom she left a solid legacy and many memories.
There are other candidates for the role of the "Dark Lady" - for example, Lucy Morgan, nicknamed Lucy the Negress, is obviously also a dark-skinned woman who has gone from court lady to prostitute and brothel owner.
Whoever she was, the Swarthy Lady inflicted an incurable wound on Shakespeare. Their relationship was destructive. The idea of ​​female depravity and betrayal with surprising intolerance arises more than once in the speeches of the heroes of the later plays of the playwright. It seems that personal anger is raging in them. The playwright's description of passion and jealousy is especially expressive. There is a heavy aversion to sex that runs through all of Shakespeare's later works. The thought of the crushing power of lust does not leave him, and the heroes bring down their fury not on specific women, but on the entire female sex.

Women in the auditorium

London, by the time Shakespeare appeared in it, was
a city with a population of 300 thousand, huge at that time. It was a Renaissance city, where spectacles, holidays, magnificent ceremonies were adored, everything that promised joy to the eye and ear, and especially the theater. The theater turned out to be the art to which the soul of the Renaissance Englishman was especially drawn, longing for spectacle, dynamism, festivity and intensity of passions. City theaters were distinguished by their freedom of morals - the stalls were assigned to the poorest and rudest part of the public, who watched the performance standing up, behaved very freely, reacted directly and violently, throwing leftover food and even stones at the actors on occasion as a sign of discontent. Here they ate, drank beer, smoked, quarreled, and sometimes got into fights. Private theaters looked more decent. On the whole, however, the theatrical audience was motley, but rather bourgeois than vulgar. This audience was mostly literate. In those days, a good female education was not uncommon. The theater props were very primitive. The decorations were practically non-existent. When a comedy was played, the ceiling of the stage was covered with a blue cloth, while a tragedy was performed with a black one.
Women's roles were performed at that time only by men, they were
young actors. At the same time, no money was spared for acting costumes. The dandies and ladies used to give their clothes to the servants, who sold them to the theatres. The boy who played Cleopatra fainted when he heard that Antony was leaving for the war, and shouted from the stage: “Loosen the lacing, stuffy!”, And one of the ladies sitting in the hall recognized at the same time his last year's outfit on the ancient heroine.
The theaters were visited by respectable ladies who gladly flaunted their dresses and jewelry. It was customary to dress well in the theater. The audience was festive and friendly. Foreigners who came to London were surprised by the activity of women in recreation and entertainment.

Shakespeare was a woman and smoked marijuana?

There are many hypotheses that completely deny any relation of Shakespeare to the works attributed to him. Some would like to think that the authors of the famous plays were more educated and intelligent people than half-educated country boy William Shakespeare. One of these versions, owned by Valentina Novomirova, says that the authors who wrote under the pseudonym "William Shakespeare" were Mary Sidney Herbert, Countess of Pembroke, her sons - William Herbert, Earl of Pembroke, and Philip Herbert, Earl of Montgomery, which is to Shakespeare's work the poets Samuel Daniel and Ben Jonson are directly and immediately related. Their conclusions about the true authorship Shakespearean works V. Novomirova made on the basis of the so-called First Folio of William Shakespeare - complete collection dramatic works William Shakespeare, published in London in 1623. In her study, the portraits of William Shakespeare and the Countess of Pembroke in this edition are very interestingly compared, from which it is concluded that Shakespeare's portrait is a modified face of the Countess.
Literary critic Alfred Barkov, examining the structure of "Hamlet", suggested that the text of this work answered the question of who was hiding under the pseudonym "Shakespeare": "tanner, not lying in his grave", was the son of Queen Elizabeth, a brilliant poet and playwright on Nicknamed "Tanner" Christopher Marlowe, whose death was staged. The secrecy of authorship, he argues, turned out to be closely related to the political situation and the security of the country. There are also suggestions that the works belong to the Queen herself.
Some scholars have found direct indications that Shakespeare was inspired not only by an unknown lady who went down in history as the "dark lady of the sonnets." Shakespeare's plays were found to be generously scattered with unusual metaphors and descriptions of natural disasters, quite characteristic of hallucinatory visions. Lines: “Why do I always write the same way and hold on to fiction in famous grass?” - usually attributed to the general artsy style of sonnets and understood in figuratively. But researchers suggest understanding these lines quite unambiguously: “grass” is hemp, which was widespread in England at that time (ship ropes were woven from it), and “fiction” is the poems themselves, written under its influence. Having made a chemical analysis of the contents of earthenware excavated in the garden of Shakespeare's house in Stratford smoking pipes, scientists found traces of marijuana in them. Of course, they do not claim that these are Shakespeare's pipes, but the pipes belong to the period of his life. Marijuana has been smoked before and is now smoked by many, but none of them has created something like Shakespeare's creations. So it's not the grass...

LAUGHINGAndRise!

O women, your name is treachery! (translated by B. Pasternak)

Frailty, you are called a woman! (translated by M. Lozinsky)

Insignificance, woman, is your name! (translated by A. Kroneberg)

O women! nothingness is your name! (translated by N. Polevoy)

***

It is good to marry, but there is a lot of annoyance.

I will not say a word about women's outfits.

Who is nice, the dress is always pleasant;

Though it is true that at the same time the purse is undisputed.

The most unbearable of all is nasty advice,

Stubborn words and controversial answers.

An example was recently shown to us by a man,

Whom the wife was doomed in the water.

He, having come to the shore, saw a neighbor there:

Didn't he see, he asked, a drowned trace.

The neighbor advised to go down the bank:

That the rapidity should carry it there.

But he answered: “I, brother, confess,

That for a century she lived with me in spite of:

That is true now I have no doubt about it,

That, having sunk, she swam against the river.

M. V. Lomonosov.

1747

***

FOOL

Once upon a time there was a fool. He prayed earnestly

(However, as you and I).

Rags, bones and a bunch of hair -

All this was called an empty woman,

But a fool called her the Queen of Roses

(However, as you and I).

Oh, the years that have gone nowhere, that have gone,

Heads and hands of our work -

Not a damn thing here.

What the fool squandered, just do not count

(However, like you and me) -

Future, faith, money and honor.

But the lady could eat twice

BUT fool - that's why he is a fool

(However, as you and I).

Oh, the works that have gone, their fruits that have gone.

And dreams that will not come again -

She ate everything, not wanting to know

(And now we know - who did not know how to know),

Not a damn thing here.

When the lady resigned him

(However, like you and me),

God sees! She did everything she could!

But a fool did not put a barrel to his temple.

He is alive. Although life is not nice to him.

(However, like you and me.)

This time it was not shame that saved him, not shame,

Not reproaches that burn -

He just found out that she didn't know

What did she not know and what did she know

Nothing could be done here.

R. Kipling

Translation by K. M. Simonov

***

Baba is delusional, but who believes her!

Baba and demon - one at (in) them weight.

Baba and the devil outwit.

Baba cries - his temper amuses.

A woman with a cart, a mare is easier.

Baba flies from the stove, seventy-seven thoughts will change his mind.

Baba jumps and back and p e redom, and things go on as usual.

Baba is like a pot: no matter what you pour in, everything boils.

Baba is like a bag: whatever you put in, you carry.

Baba is dear - from the stove to the threshold.

You will lower the grandmother - you yourself will be a woman.

Baba has at least a stake on his head.

Babi age - forty years; at forty-five - Baba berry again.

A woman's mind is a woman's yoke: both crooked and hackneyed, and at both ends.

A woman's tongue is a damn pomelo.

The women scold, so the scarves fall off their heads.

Women in the hut - flies out.

There is no post for a woman's tail.

Women's minds are ruining the house s .

Babia lies and you can't ride a pig.

Where a woman is, there is a market; where there are two, there is a market.

Where the devil cannot ( or: the devil can't handle), he will send a woman there.

A chicken is not a bird, an ensign is not an officer, a woman is not a person.

A crafty woman cannot be crushed in a mortar.

Don't sing like a rooster to a chicken, don't be a man to a woman.

Let the woman go to heaven, she leads the cow with her.

The woman was angry at bargaining, but bargaining didn’t know about it.

Three women are a market, and seven are a fair.

A woman's hair is long, but her mind is short.

A woman has seven Fridays in a week.

Russian proverbs

***

OWOMEN

Since the very creation of the world, a woman has been considered a harmful and malignant creature. She stands at such a low level of physical, moral and mental development that anyone, even a scoundrel deprived of all rights and blowing his nose in other people's handkerchiefs, considers himself entitled to judge her and scoff at her shortcomings.

Its anatomical structure is beyond all criticism. When some respectable father of the family sees the image of a woman “about naturel”, he always frowns with disgust and spits to the side. To have such images in plain sight, and not in the table or in your pocket, is considered bad manners. The man is much prettier women. No matter how wiry, hairy and blackheaded he is, no matter how red his nose and narrow forehead, he always condescendingly looks at female beauty and marries only after a strict choice. There is no Quasimodo who would not be deeply convinced that only a beautiful woman can be his partner.

One retired lieutenant, who robbed his mother-in-law and flaunted in women's half boots, assured that if a person descended from a monkey, then first a woman descended from this animal, and then a man. Titular adviser Slyunkin, from whom his wife locked up vodka, often said: "The most malicious insect in the world is the female sex."

The mind of a woman is no good. Her hair is long, but her mind is short; the opposite is true for a man. You can't talk to a woman about politics, or about the state of the course, or about bureaucrats. At a time when the high school student IIIclass is already solving world problems, and collegiate registrars study the book “30,000 Foreign Words”, smart and adult women talk only about fashion and the military.

The woman's logic is proverbial. When some court adviser, anathema or departmental watchman Dorotheus starts talking about Bismarck or about the benefits of the sciences, then it is a pleasure to listen to them: pleasant and touching; when someone's wife, for lack of other topics, begins to talk about children or her husband's drunkenness, then which spouse will refrain from exclaiming: “I tarantated the taranta! Well, yes, and logic, Lord, forgive me a sinner!”

A woman is incapable of studying science. This is already clear from the fact that they don’t start for her educational institutions. Men, even an idiot and a cretin, can not only study science, but even occupy chairs, but a woman is a nonentity her name! She does not compose textbooks for sale, she does not read abstracts and long academic speeches, she does not go on official business trips at government expense, and she does not dispose of dissertations abroad. Terribly underdeveloped! She has no creative talents. Not only the great and ingenious, but even the vulgar and blackmailing are written by men, but she was given by nature only the ability to wrap pies in the creations of men and make papillots out of them.

She is vicious and immoral. From it comes the beginning of all evil. One old book says: Muilerestmalleus, perquemdiabolusmollitetmalleatuniversummundun” (“A woman is a hammer with which the devil softens and threshes the whole world” - lat.). When the devil wants to commit some kind of dirty trick or trick, he always strives to act through women. Remember that because of Belle Helene broke out Trojan War, Messalina has deceived more than one good boy from the path of truth ... Gogol says that officials take bribes only because their wives are pushing for it. This is absolutely true. They drink it away, they lose at the screw, and officials spend only salaries on Amaliy ... The property of entrepreneurs, government contractors and secretaries of warm institutions is always recorded in the name of the wife.

The woman is utterly debauched. Each rich lady is surrounded by dozens of young people who are eager to get into gigolos with her. Poor young people!

A woman does not bring any benefit to the fatherland. She does not go to war, does not rewrite papers, does not build railways, and locking a decanter of vodka from her husband helps to reduce excise duties.

In short, she is cunning, talkative, vain, deceitful, hypocritical, greedy, mediocre, frivolous, evil ... There is only one thing that is pretty in her, namely, that she gives birth to such sweet, graceful and terribly smart darlings, like men ... For this virtue, let us forgive her all her sins. Let us all be generous to her, even cocottes in jackets and those gentlemen who are beaten in clubs with candlesticks on their muzzles.

A. P. Chekhov

***

FEMALETOAST

- Lord! After a foreign toast, it is not difficult to move on to strange toasts, but I will protect myself from this danger and proclaim - women's toast!

I regret that I did not take a Krupp cannon with me when I came here for dinner to salute the women. According to Shakespeare, a woman is nothing, but in my opinion she is everything! (...) Without it, the world would be the same as a violinist without a violin, without a pistol, a scope and a valve without a clarinet. (...) Personally, for us, no advance payment can replace a woman. Tell me, poets, who inspired you and poured fire into your cold veins when you returned from beautiful moonlit nights rendez- vous, sat down at the table and wrote poems, which were partly returned to you from the editors, partly, due to a lack of material, were printed, having undergone a significant reduction? And you, humorous prose writers, won't you agree that your stories would lose nine-tenths of their ridiculousness if there were no woman in them? Aren't those jokes the best, the salt of which is hidden in long trains and bustles? To you artists no need to remind that many of you are sitting here only because you know how to portray women. Having learned to draw a woman with her chaos of bodices, frills, tunics, festoons, experiencing with a pencil all the vagaries of her foolish fashion, you have gone through such a difficult school, after which you can draw some kind of “Walpurgis Night” or “The Last Day of Pompeii” - just spit! Gentlemen, who frees our pockets from the burden, who loves us, saws, forgives, robs us? Who delights and poisons our existence? (…) Who decorates our today's meal with their presence? Oh! A little later, and leaving here, we will be weak, defenseless ... Shaken, we will sit on cabs and, nodding, forgetting the addresses of our apartments, we will go wandering in the darkness. And who, what bright star will meet us at the final point of our journey? Still the same woman! Urrrraaa!

A. P. Chekhov

***

A woman can be a friend of a man only in this sequence: first a friend, then a lover, and then a friend. (A.P. Chekhov, “Uncle Vanya”)

***

One lady told me that if a man starts talking to her about insignificant things, as if adjusting to the weakness of the feminine concept, then in her eyes he immediately exposes his ignorance of women. Indeed, isn't it ridiculous to consider women, who so often amaze us with their speed of conception and subtlety of feeling and reason, as inferior beings in comparison with us? This is especially strange in Russia, where Catherine reigned. IIand where women in general are more enlightened, more read, more following the European course of things, than we, the proud ones, God knows why? (A. S. Pushkin)

***

... women are the same everywhere. Nature, endowing them with a subtle mind and the most irritable sensitivity, almost denied them a sense of elegance. Poetry slips through their ears without reaching the soul; they are insensitive to its harmony; note how they sing fashionable romances, how the most natural verses distort, upset the measure, destroy rhyme. Listen to their literary judgments, and you will be surprised at the curvature and even rudeness of their concept ... Exceptions are rare. (A. S. Pushkin)

***

In some Asiatic people, every day, men, rising from sleep, thank God, who created them not as women.

Mahomet disputes the existence of the soul of the ladies.

In France, in a land renowned for its courtesy, grammar has solemnly declared the masculine to be the noblest.

The poet gave his tragedy for consideration famous critic. There was a verse in the manuscript: I am a man and I walked in the ways of delusions...

The critic stressed the verse, doubting whether a woman could be called a man. This is reminiscent of a well-known decision: a woman is not a person, a chicken is not a bird, an ensign is not an officer.

Even people who pretend to be the most zealous admirers of the fair sex do not assume in women a mind equal to ours, and adjusting to the weakness of their concept, they publish learned books for ladies, as if for children, etc. (A. S. Pushkin, “ Little things”)

_____

HOWGODCREATEDWOMAN

So, God took a few rays of the sun, the thoughtful sadness of the moon, the trembling of the deer, the affectionate look of the chamois, the beauty of the swan, the sedateness of the peacock, the fragrance of the rose, the voice of the nightingale, the harmony of the reed, the meekness of the dove, the sweetness of honey, the tenderness of fluff, the lightness of the air, the freshness of the water ... In This is what God has mixed together. But in order not to turn out cloying, God added the inconstancy of the wind, the cunning of the fox, the poison of the snake, the greed of the shark, the cowardice of the hare, the cruelty of the tiger, the tearfulness of the clouds, the talkativeness of the magpie, and all the horrors of poetry. Out of this mixture came a beautiful woman. God breathed her soul into her, gave it to a man and said: “Take care of her - there will be no repetition!”

_____

Women don't like each other. Let us imagine two women bound by the bonds of close friendship; even suppose that they don’t say anything bad about each other behind their backs - they are so friendly. You meet them; if you lean towards one, then her friend is overcome by rage; and not because she is in love with you, but simply because she wants preference to be given to her. Such are women: they are too envious and therefore incapable of friendship. (A.–R. Lesage)

***

Women usually hide their willingness to give, even if they secretly burn with desire; they act frightened or indignant and give in only after persistent requests, assurances, oaths and false promises. (S. Zweig)

***

A man's word of honor always serves as a railing for a woman to cling to before falling. (S. Zweig)

***

Wisdom willingly visits women when beauty flees from them. (S. Zweig)

***

Once Bernard Shaw dropped the phrase that all women are corrupt. The Queen of England, having learned about this, at a meeting with Shaw asked: - Is it true, sir, that you said this?

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Shaw replied calmly.

- And how much do I stand? burst out from the queen.

“Ten thousand pounds sterling,” Shaw said at once.

– What, so cheap?! the queen was surprised.

“You see, you are already bargaining,” the playwright smiled.

***

Better than a beautiful woman there is only a beautiful and modest woman. (Pythagoras)

***

O women! I can confess

That you are much more cunning than us!

I. I. Dmitriev, “Fashionable wife”

***

The less mind a woman has, the more cunning and accurate she is. (V. Konetsky)

***

There are numerous ways to cure love, but only one of them works for sure - marriage! (J. A. Masson)

***

One third of women want to lose weight, one third want to gain weight, and the rest have not yet weighed themselves. (P. Weber)

***

God created women only to tame men. (Voltaire)

***

When a woman gives the key to her heart, it rarely happens that she does not change the lock. (Saint Beve)

***

It is necessary that a woman could choose: with a man whom women love, she will not be calm; with a man whom women do not like, she will not be happy. (A. France)

***

The beard these days is the only thing in which a woman cannot surpass a man. (J. Steinbeck)

***

If a woman is not prone to witchcraft, she has no need to do cooking. (Colette)

***

The most difficult task in a girl's life is to prove to a man in love with her that his intentions are serious. (Helen Rowland)

***

A woman never notices what is done for her, but she perfectly sees what was not done for her. (J. Courteline)

(Beginning with J. A. Masson - translated by C. Valery)

***

When a woman whispers to a man that he is the most beautiful, the kindest, the smartest, she does not so much tell him as she inspires herself. (K. Melikhan)

***

To reset excess weight sometimes it is enough to wash off the makeup. (K. Melikhan)

***

A woman is offended by a man in two cases: when he sees only a woman in her and when he does not see a woman in her. (K. Melikhan)

***

Beautiful women in old age are very stupid only because they were very beautiful in their youth. (V. O. Klyuchevsky)

***

At school, men learn only four operations of arithmetic, and women learn five! (Jaime Perish)

***

An excess of mind in a woman harms beauty and charm. (Author unknown)

***

Beautiful women are much more successful than smart ones. The fact is that there are few blind men, but many stupid ones. (Author unknown)

***

If women look at you, do not flatter yourself: it is not known who they turn away from at the same time. (Author unknown)

***

Take care of women inexhaustible source male labor! (A. Ratner)

***

To find a zest in a woman, she is often taken to pieces. (A. Ratner)

***

The dumbest woman can push around the smartest man, but you have to be

really smart to deal with a fool. (R. Kipling)

***

Tell a woman she's beautiful and the devil will tell her ten times.

(Taleyrand)

***

Wives usually pity, but other people's husbands. (S. Maugham)

***

Gustave Flaubert was asked what kind of women he prefers - smart or stupid. To this the author of "Madame Bovary" replied: "Those who are aware of their stupidity, and those who are unaware of their mind."

_____

WISHWOMAN

Dangle in the kitchen and sing merrily!

Love, smile, be a faithful wife!

Always be healthy, beautiful, slim!

(Nobody needs a sick wife.)

Always have time to go to the store, to the market!

Know how to get scarce goods!

Go to concerts, read newspapers -

Do not lag behind your husband in development!

He lay down to rest - you take the kids,

So that they do not interfere with dad's sleep.

Be affectionate, kind, beloved wife,

Attentive, gentle and sweet friend!

Go to work in the morning

Children on the way to Kindergarten take.

Do your job well

That's why you are equal with a man!

________

IFWOULDIWASWOMAN

- If I were a woman, I would behave completely differently than if

would I was the woman. I would be smart, charming, young, cheerful and happy. I would have a lot of fans, but when meeting with me, I would be confused and silent. This is not a joke. I would fall in love with me and become my wife.

Horror, how do I manage to wake up in the morning washed and combed? And why am I wearing a dress, skirt, jacket and white teeth at any time of the day? Where did I learn how to renovate an apartment?

And how patient I am with him, that is, with me. I'm crazy about him and at a loss for words. This is what it takes to be so lucky. What is my God. I live for him, I help him in everything and I work at the factory on purpose so as not to sit at home. But when you need me, I'm there. Daytime, evening, morning. Whenever needed. And always, when it is not necessary, I am not. I don't know where I am, but I'm not around.

How I process these stupid sausages and station schnitzels into such a slender figure, I don’t know myself.

I also type on a typewriter and dance in one chic ensemble. So I for the most part in Paris and Madrid.

I'm calling from Madrid and asking you to water the flowers on time. The music stops there, and someone answers - okay. And two months later I drag in a suitcase - turn it on, dear, this is some kind of new video, you know, I don’t understand this well. Yes, I almost forgot - here are the keys, this is a new Peugeot for you and a new coat for your mother.

Then I go back to the factory or to the rehearsal to be present and absent at the same time.

Yes, I still sew and edit the text. I am his memory, responder, and eraser. Yes, I almost forgot, I'm happy with him. Oh my God, how could I forget! He won't forgive me. There will be scandal again. Oh God, how I forgot...Now that's enough for a week. He will not leave until I swear with tears by all the saints that I am happy. No, he's really, really good. Well, first of all, smart. Secondly, neat, thirdly, witty, fair to others and, in general, to me.

- Are you back yet?

- Yes, Mishenka (that's my name). Today we have a small meeting of editors leading each other in the editorial office. We agreed without wives. She fell ill with one, the rest do not want to let him down. Urgent issue - request the newspaper for May 1 by April 10. A new initiative, and we all vied with each other, and it may happen, and it is absolutely certain that I will come to spend the night in the morning. You don't get angry.

- What are you, what are you! I thought you like it when I'm awake and waiting for you, but you like it when I sleep and wait for you. I will be worried, but not scandalous, but I will congratulate you on your return to your home, where we are waiting for you and your comings. Me and these kids. We are where you left us. Come back and find us. I am your creation. An example of dependent independence, silent wisdom, vast physical strength preserving femininity.