Betrayal can be compared to a knife in the heart. And this is no exaggeration, because at this moment there is a feeling that life has ended. That all the best and kindest things are left in the past, and an unknown future looms ahead. Surviving betrayal means getting for yourself a very valuable and important lesson. A lesson that will hardly ever be forgotten...
The betrayal of a person close to you completely changes your worldview. And it changes remarkably quickly. You have been betrayed. Your feelings were not needed by someone who was so dear to you. From what? And the most main question- why? You can torment yourself with the search for an answer to this question for an infinitely long time, but you need to understand that only the one who betrayed you can give you the right answer. Everything else is your guesses and conjectures.
In this regard, it is better for you to spare your nerves (they will still be useful to you) and not try to think about what guided the person close to you. He clearly had his own motives. But what do you...
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How to survive the betrayal of a loved one
After reading this article, you will know how to survive the betrayal of a loved one and stop thinking about him.
In our difficult life there are moments when close person betrays us. Such a person can be a best friend, a once-faithful soulmate, and close relatives. It is very difficult to come to terms with the fact that your trust has been broken on the sharp stones of betrayal and meanness. But life goes on, only memory can not let go of the one we trusted so much.
We must learn to forgive and let go, but this is such a subtle philosophy that you need to grow up to.
An independent expert on sociological issues, Artem Sergeevich, again agreed to take part in the discussion of the issue and express his point of view related to how one can survive betrayal and what needs to be done in order not to lose trust in people.
Good afternoon,...
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How to survive the betrayal of a friend?
Read also on the topic:
God forbid someone learn and survive the betrayal of a friend. This feeling is in no way comparable to other mental anguish. Even many divorced people quickly build new relationships and remarry, and a person who has survived the betrayal of a friend can no longer trust anyone and is suspicious of everyone. How to survive the betrayal of a friend?
Faced with betrayal, you will probably begin to ask the following question: “Why did this happen to me?”. The answers may be completely different. Either you have a very poor understanding of the people around you, or you are completely gullible (but do not overdo it with self-criticism).
Assess the situation from a philosophical point of view. Perhaps fate sent you such tests to temper your spirit.
Do not think about the bad things, that life is no longer nice, that all people are bad, etc. drive away such thoughts from yourself if they began to visit you. All our thoughts...
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or how to live after being betrayed
and you have lost faith in people and in love, you have lost the strength to love.
Have you been betrayed? You left the person who was dear to you, who was your friend, whom you loved, and you no longer feel the desire for love in yourself? Very well. Just wonderful. (You will understand why this is good and wonderful when you read the article to the end). Someday this would definitely happen. Every person, there is no exception here, because this is not a rule, but a natural component of a full-fledged and human life, and its constructive harmonious development.
Many people think that they are the only ones who are so unlucky. In vain they think so. It is generally inappropriate to talk about luck or bad luck here. And it's best to refer to it as a "viral disease of the soul." There are people who rarely get sick, but there are those who never get sick at all. The main thing to understand is that betrayal in love is normal.
Now about...
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We have to face the first betrayal in early childhood. Then, for lack of experience, we perceive everything more sharply and more painfully. But over the years, old grievances are forgotten and new ones come to replace them, sometimes from the most unexpected side.
Why do people betray?
This question is tormented by everyone who has ever experienced the betrayal of a friend or loved one. Meanwhile, the question itself contains a trap. Most often, betrayal occurs not due to some personal reasons or intentions, but under the influence of circumstances. Someone shows natural weakness, someone forgets about their obligations, and someone simply does not dare to confess in time. One way or another, try to understand that this is not your fault. Many people are naturally weak and tend to do stupid things, acting completely unconsciously. Often betrayal can be completely imaginary, because you perceive your relationship differently. Before you dramatize, try to find out what is on ...
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Instruction
When faced with betrayal, you are probably wondering: “Why did this happen to me?”. Answer options may vary. Either you are not good with people, or you are too gullible (but do not overdo it with self-flagellation).
Try to assess the situation from a philosophical point of view. Perhaps fate sends you trials to temper your spirit.
Any of your assumptions will do, except for the following: “All people are selfish egoists”, “I have no happiness in life - no family, no friends, no career”, “Nothing, I will be more careful in the future! From now on, no friends! If you are visited by any of these thoughts, nip them in the bud. Transformed into subconscious attitudes, they will not allow you to get out of depression.
Having survived the betrayal of a friend, you are in a state of shock. This is due to the fact that strong friendship per long years has become one of the foundations of your worldview. And when the load-bearing wall collapses, the whole building begins to stagger.
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How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one
When loved ones betray us, pain, disappointment and emptiness settle in the soul. These feelings break the heart so much that sometimes a person does not see the further meaning of life. But any, even the most a difficult situation, requires an informed decision.Often, betrayal forever destroys the idyll in a relationship. But more often people try to restore lost trust, and start life with clean slate. How to forgive the betrayal of a loved one, and learn to trust him again?
Is it worth it to forgive?
Often the word "betrayal" refers to physical treason. And before accepting important decision you must decide whether the traitor is worthy of forgiveness. To do this, you must find out the reason for his act. If you find out that your partner has been cheating on you for a long time, and he has a second family, it is unlikely that your forgiveness will be able to revive the old relationship. Such an act carries too severe consequences for all participants in the current ...0 0
The answer to the question of how to survive betrayal lies in the question itself - SURVIVE! Just live, finding an interest in life that is not related to the person who betrayed you.
Who can betray?
Betrayal can be perceived as such only from a loved one - a loved one, a husband. We do not evaluate the betrayal of a friend or girlfriend as the "end of the world": betrayed? Well, the flag is in his (her) hands! "The warehouse will give you a new one!" But the betrayal of a loved one, a beloved man or a lawful husband, we perceive very hard, even tragically, almost like the destruction of the entire Universe.
Why is this happening? Because as a result of the betrayal of a loved one, our trust in him is trampled, which was the guarantee that a woman is not alone, she has a reliable rear behind her - a person whom she can rely on and trust him. Awareness of the fact of betrayal leads to the fact that a woman instantly feels lonely and unappreciated. Peace in her...
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And why are you with him, if you have not forgiven? Yes, I would be glad, but where can I go with a small child? My parents live in a dacha, and the apartment is rented out to tenants, and they live at their expense. I don’t want a new relationship, I’m not drawn to it, and as mentioned above, now I won’t be able to trust another initially. I’m still on maternity leave, without a job (((And like any woman, in 15 years there is some hope that everything will get better, with everything is really getting better on his part, but now I can’t overcome myself.Moments when you don’t think about what happened, everything is fine, but when even a minor quarrel occurs, I began to perceive everything very painfully, I often suspect if everything had started again ........ oh, this is a nightmare in short. I feel that sometimes the roof goes because my head says that there will be nothing good in this relationship, and my heart asks me to wait and hope that time is all .. .
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Betrayal is a blow you don't expect. Paulo Coelho
Have you ever been betrayed, dear readers? I'm sure they betrayed. That's why you showed interest in this article, isn't it? And now you want to know how you can continue to live with the pain in your soul that you experience and that haunts you. However, it is quite possible that you yourself betrayed someone, and because of this, you now have a heavy burden on your soul that you want to get rid of. You want to know what it is like to be betrayed, you want to understand how the person who has been betrayed feels, how much his pain is. And you will definitely find out about this, because in this article I am going to tell you everything I know about betrayal. And I know a lot about him, believe me. Betrayal is something that I have repeatedly encountered in my life, not only as a specialist, but also as a person who was cruelly betrayed several times. Therefore, I will share with you not only my knowledge of betrayal, but also my feelings. Unfortunately,...
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In almost all world religions, betrayal was considered and is considered one of the worst sins: Judas betrayed Christ and forever remained the embodiment of apostasy. Almost in any legislation, treason is considered one of the most serious crimes against the state.
The moral category, and betrayal is one of those, turns out to be very important both for huge states and for individual person- all appreciate devotion and despise treason. But if the best lawyers of the world and international and national courts deal with betrayal at the state level, then betrayal in the family or simply in human relations really remains simply on the conscience (or on the conscience) of the one who decided on it. Why can a person become a traitor, an apostate, an informer, a spy, that is, simply a traitor?
Circumstances are very different - this is jealousy, and envy, and fear, it can be fanaticism or greed, the inability to keep one's tongue for ...
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Wadded legs, the heart is pounding madly about chest and the stomach seems to do somersaults, causing nausea. Anger, shock, pain, disappointment from lost trust. What can cause such emotions? Betrayal. No matter what happened - adultery, abuse, lies, lack of support, a broken promise, secrets revealed or something else. Being betrayed hurts a lot. A few tips to help you deal with this stress.
Acknowledge your feelings
Don't ignore own emotions. Feeling what you feel is normal. Write about them in your diary. If you realize that emotions are overwhelming in such a way that they interfere with living a normal life, contact a psychologist.
Take care of yourself
Eat healthy food, drink plenty of water, exercise, preferably on fresh air. Get enough sleep. Do something that gives you pleasure. Whatever happens to you, don't make your body suffer. Finally,...
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It is difficult for many people to survive betrayal, especially if a loved one inflicted a knife in the back. If you've ever experienced a betrayal by a friend, you know how difficult it can be to deal with at times. After all, a person loses confidence in his surroundings. Some in these situations try to drown out the pain with the help of alcoholic beverages, and in the future, in addition to longing, they also have to treat alcoholism. But the most dangerous thing that a betrayal of a friend can lead to is a person’s unwillingness to communicate with other people, his attempt to close himself off from the outside world.
What to do if you have been betrayed
If a friend betrayed you for the first time, then you should figure out why this could happen. In some cases, the reason lies in the inability of a person to choose his environment or in excessive credulity. But do not blame yourself for everything, because in any situation two people are to blame.
If you do not know how to relieve stress after the betrayal of a loved one, try to analyze everything ...
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How to survive the betrayal of her husband: advice from a psychologist
You found out that your husband is not faithful to you, and consider this a betrayal. You do not know how to continue to live and yearn for revenge. But what if you perceive everything too clearly? What if this is not a betrayal of her husband at all, but an unfortunate mistake, or vice versa, main love his whole life? Let's expand the vision of this problem and use the wise advice of psychologists.
How to survive the betrayal of her husband: forgive or expel?
How to survive the betrayal of a husband / man and believe in love again? Is it worth it to forgive a person in this case? How to learn to trust people again? We will try to answer these and other questions.
Is it even worth it to forgive the person who betrayed you? Undoubtedly yes! The anger that remains in the soul eats us from the inside. That is why it is very important to let go of resentment, because in this way we cause irreparable harm to ourselves. As for the question of whether to continue...
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Some people are afraid of betrayal, and some are not afraid of them, but they don’t even use such a word as “betrayal”. What is the difference between them? Do betrayals really exist? Why betray you friends, loved ones? In fact, everything does not depend on the people who betray you, but everything depends on you and how you perceive these very betrayals. Let's look at what actually constitutes a betrayal of people.
You don't change people. You can only change the attitude towards them and their actions. In order to do this, it is worth reading the new helpful beliefs below. Worth taking new reality. By accepting it, you will protect yourself from pain and emotional wounds.
All people are different. People are ill-mannered, selfish, ungrateful, and so on. Take them and their actions for granted. Take everything as reality. If something is happening in your life, then it just happens.
Be sympathetic to the fact that even the person closest to you can lie, can even harm you, intentionally or unintentionally. Every person has their own weaknesses. Just accept that even the people closest to you can ruin their lives and do terrible stupid things. Forget and never use the word betrayal again. Accept that people's plans, views, thoughts can change. People can break promises. People don't always have to take care of you. Even if a person leaves you in trouble, this may mean that he looks at everything differently.
If you live in this world, then you must accept it as it is.
Is it worth putting up with the so-called betrayals? Just because you've been treated badly doesn't mean you have to put up with it. The most important thing is that you have peace of mind. If you can change something, then great, you will do it. If you cannot afford to change something, then just accept this world, accept people. People live the way they do, not the way we want.
Now you know why people betray each other. Human betrayals can only exist in your minds. People "betray" because they tend to think about their own interests and take care of themselves first, and not of you. Of course, it's great if you come across such people in life who will take care of your interests. But there are not so many such people. It is worth looking for them very well, and having found them, try to be needed by them.
If you do not live on a desert island, are a member of society, then you know the word "betrayal". Moreover, you can be both the injured party and the traitor himself. Let's talk about what role betrayal plays in a person's life and how to continue to live after it.
Definition of betrayal
In the broad sense of the word, betrayal is a violation of the moral laws of society in the form of treason, a violation of a promise or a failure to fulfill a duty. Traitors have always been condemned and punished. Their actions can be compared with the fall in religion. And they really do true evil, because they destroy such important point in human society like trust.
There are various degrees of betrayal, for example, they can shortchange you in a store and thus undermine your confidence in yourself, or they can completely destroy, trample on the inner “I” of a person, which sometimes leads not only to mental death but also to the physical. The betrayal of loved ones is especially hard to bear, because these are the people whom you initially trust the most and whom you rely on as a support in difficult times.
The main types of betrayal:
- Change in marriage.
- When parents abandon their children.
- Leave a friend in a difficult life situation.
- Treason to the Motherland.
- Apostasy in religion.
Causes of betrayal
The person who was betrayed does not cease to be tormented by questions about why and why they did this to him, but the whole paradox is that the traitor himself does not know the answer to them.
The history of mankind is a whole series of betrayals and suffering that should have taught us modern people don't make these kinds of mistakes. Having the experience of many previous generations, we do not appreciate its significance and do not stop stepping on a rake. A person continues to betray, causing harm to others, and does not think at all about the consequences that await him.
We will then understand the reasons that push a person to betrayal. As it turned out, first of all, the reason lies in himself, or rather, in the three elements of character inherent in him in aggregate or separately: selfishness, weakness, unconsciousness.
So, egoism: all people are endowed with one degree or another of egoism, but it manifests itself in various forms. In educated, intellectually developed people with high moral standards, it manifests itself in the so-called healthy form. When a person calculates in advance the result of his actions, then reckless, stupid and childishly irresponsible egoism operates here. When making decisions, a person is guided by dubious momentary benefits.
Let's talk about weakness. Weak people, in whatever sense this word is used, are most prone to betrayal. A weak character, low intellectual level of development, a morally and spiritually impoverished person or incapable of volitional acts, betrays very easily, because he does not know any other way to solve his problems, except by using others. Weak person always striving difficult problems it is easier to decide for yourself, even with the help of betrayal.
Unconsciousness is another of the features of a person that pushes to betrayal. The unconscious, as a rule, cannot even understand the horror of his actions. At the same time, a person’s actions are as if he is in a dream and is not able to control anything. His behavior is inconsistent common sense, spontaneous and primitive. In this state, they act, succumbing only to primitive instincts that serve them. inner voice. These are people, to put it mildly, not very high intelligence.
How to respond to betrayal
One of the tips on how to behave if you have been betrayed, especially if it is a loved one - calmly and even indifferently. Many will object that this is not a situation in which it is possible to maintain composure and calmness. And, of course, you will be right. But experts advise in advance to allow a situation that you can be betrayed and not expect too much from people, thus, be mentally prepared for disappointment in a person. On the other hand, it is very hard to live like a hedgehog in a prickly skin, not opening up to anyone, not trusting anyone, all the while waiting for a blow.
If, nevertheless, such a situation happened to you, you were not ready for this, but you were betrayed, there is new problem: how to survive it. First of all, take a deep breath, exhale and pull yourself together. Analyze what happened and understand that this is not something out of the ordinary, but something that happens every day. Yes, what happened before was not with you, but now the turn has come to you. After all, no one can be completely insured from this. People have a huge number of shortcomings, and for some, pity for another person is not their forte.
You were treated ruthlessly, you were betrayed, but at the same time, unwittingly, the traitors made you stronger and wiser. And no matter how paradoxical it sounds, but having come to this conclusion, you can be glad that a weak-willed coward betrayed you, thus saving you from his society and teaching you how to be a fighter.
Further, many wonder how to forgive such a person. It doesn't matter if you can or can't forgive the traitor. If you feel that you are not capable of forgiving this person, do not force yourself, because no matter how much you try to persuade yourself otherwise, it will not be true. The main thing - do not let this event take over your thoughts and your life, do not torment yourself, a traitor is not worth it.
Remember that it is not the betrayal itself that harms you and your life, but how you react to it. If you understand that you are above all this, then you will be able to recover from the shock much faster and live on as a different, but already stronger person.
You've been friends since childhood or since attending school or university. At that time, there is no betrayal, because there are no problems. Always together, went everywhere with each other, shared the most secret secrets Helped out when it was really needed. Is this true friendship? It's hard to answer. And it’s difficult because on a beautiful day you are betrayed. It doesn't have to be one person, it can be friends. There are many articles on the Internet - “a cry from the heart: My friends betrayed me, why are they wiping their feet on me?” So much betrayal around.
One of the stories. Yana
“We have been friends since childhood, a story from the time of school, now I am graduating from university. At one point, a lot of problems fell on me, difficulties in relation to me; I seriously quarreled with my mother, and unable to bear everything, I went for a few days to my grandmother. I asked my friend not to disturb me, because I did not want to communicate with anyone. To which I only received one negative. A friend called me selfish, that she was worried, and I only think about myself. I understand that I’m wrong, but I have so many problems, my head is spinning, I don’t want to see anyone. I asked for forgiveness for my actions.
Because of this, our relationship became strained, it was hard to be with each other, and she had a new girlfriend. It's a shame, of course, but we agreed to remain friends, not to be enemies. FROM new girlfriend they talked everywhere, went to various events together. But when she has problems, she comes to me and shares them with me. She says she can't open up as a new one yet. And I listen, support her, give advice. I am always ready to help.
But as soon as we are in public together, she makes me look like a fool, always makes me wrong in disputes in which she does not even participate. And she is too lazy to sit at the same desk with me.
Why do I endure all this humiliation and betrayal best friend? Why do I allow you to wipe your feet on me? I myself understand that I should not allow this, but I have always been strong, but, not understanding anything, I try to establish contact again, turn the other cheek. I was disappointed in female friendship, but I want everything to be the same as before, when we were faithful friends.
Pain in the soul
It's a shame to realize that I'm only needed when someone needs help in advice or simple support. Yes, I am glad to help, to listen - with joy, as a mother, I will understand and will not offend. But this is where the relationship ends, they neglect the fact that it is important to me, that I also need the support and reliable shoulder of a friend. For some reason, they don’t discuss their problems with anyone, they just “hang out” with others, have fun, and they run to me with problems. Not only does this apply to one of my girlfriends, everyone around me does this. I am like a transit point, as a place where people need to repent, get support, they show their weakness with me, I accept it, and help. Never laughed in your face and said that they were wrong. But in public they do not seem to notice me, they almost try to avoid my company, they behave aloofly.
It’s not self-confident to say, I’m no different from others either externally or in communication, no worse, it’s interesting with me. But they wipe their feet on me. Feet are wiped by those whom I consider friends. How to find a good and true friend? Or will I have to live like this for the rest of my life?
I have significant event, I hope for support, but they throw me into last moment, citing stupid reasons. Of course, I put on an understanding face, I tell them "yes, of course, it's okay." And then I feel sad, and even worse, I roar. It's a shame, not children now, to blindly believe lies.
Sometimes I look into their eyes, it seems to me that I even see a sense of guilt on their faces, honestly, I saw it, apparently they understand that they are not treating me fairly, but, unfortunately, they stop there. If only someone apologized ... You feel like a doormat - you wiped your feet - we ask for joy!
I watch films, they show true friendship, and I think, well, it must be, because how is it. And I'm waiting for the appearance of a person with whom it will be possible to just sit next to me, say nothing, but be there and feel support. I firmly decided that someday I will have a child, and I will give him all my love, he will grow in joy, he will become a good and decent person, and I will always help him, because I don’t want him to know grief and betrayal by others.
What is friendship based on? Why am I alone? Does everyone have it? Is everyone talking and waiting at the same time for a hit from your friend? Or someone lucky enough to have faithful loved ones? This is my soul cry! Maybe someone will feel better from my words, someone is also in a situation like me. After all, it must be so, there must be people in different parts of the world who are honest and kind, who value friendship.”
My opinion
Why best friends betray
Yana, fuck such friends!!! There are enough people like your "friends" in our world, selfish and ... Everyone will choose the words for himself. You good man, there are no flaws in you, I often found myself in such a situation. It's disgustingly awful! You pick your friend, and he's really a rotten dummy. Good friend he will never make fun of you or avoid you in public, he has a conscience. And he will definitely help you. And the "rotten" - they punish themselves, refusing friendship with such wonderful person, How do you. It's just that our world is becoming cruel, everyone is afraid to show their weaknesses, and hide behind a mask strong man and if there are people on the way kind soul like you, they express everything that they have accumulated bad. You're right, for them, you're a staging post.
They are not worthy to be called your friends, let them now cope with their own problems. I really hope you get it soon true friend. And you know, choose not from the "stars" - they are selfish and mercantile in everything, but look among the "simple" and modest - these people know the price of communication and friendship. Do not choose by financial and appearance, many rich people have friends - the simplest, but also the most faithful.
If pseudo-friends come to you again for help, then tell them directly: “to go to those who are publicly called their own. best comrades, and you are not a vest that is only cry for when they are in need. You are a living person and also need support and attention.” It's hard to say, but you can do it! Your reaction will make them think about themselves and how they neglected you. Friendship is not based only on a one-sided division of the problem, let them turn to a psychologist for advice and do not fool you with the hope of friendship.
It seems to me that seeing your relationship with children, as you wrote above, you must have a wonderful family, because you will put all your efforts into it. And your future husband you can be both a friend and a vest, just like you dreamed of! And family happiness will cover all the hardships that you have suffered.
Dear girls, do not let others fool you, do not let them "lower you below the plinth", you deserve much better than you imagine! And you are not alone in this. If you have a similar situation, then let's share it together, it's better to speak out and listen to the advice of the same heroines as you and I. Support should always be, do not hide the negative for yourself, otherwise you will hate the weight of white light.
