We all know the phrase. American psychologists managed to prove with the help of research that these are not just words. Life's challenges really make you stronger! And if you make an analysis of the lives of successful people, then in the biography of many of them, you can find periods serious trials. A study on the impact of adverse life events on mental health has shown that trials teach a person to adapt better and restore mental balance more quickly. If you have now difficult period in life, hold on! Read more about the study here...
Life's challenges really make you stronger
Study participants reported negative events throughout their lives; they also recorded some indicators of mental health.
According to other studies, life tests adversely affect mental health and well-being.
2389 people participated in this study. Scientists have found that people who have experienced adverse life events have better mental health and well-being than those who have not.
“We analyzed the impact of adverse events on such indicators as general mental exhaustion, functional impairment, post-traumatic stress, and life satisfaction. According to earlier research, adverse life events have a direct negative impact on measures of mental well-being. However, we were able to find a U-shaped connection, that is, in people who underwent a large number of life's troubles, as well as people who did not tolerate them at all, showed good indicators of mental health and life satisfaction, ”explains Mark Seery, lead author of the study. (University of Buffalo, USA).
It also found that people who had previously experienced life's challenges were better than others at coping with recent adverse events.
Although it is impossible to establish a causal relationship, the authors of the study suggest that, to some extent, life's trials teach how to maintain and restore mental balance.
“Although we took into account only serious life tests, such as the loss of a loved one, in all likelihood, less tragic events also contribute to the development mental stamina”, adds Mark Seery.
Adapted from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Prepared by Anastasia Maltseva.
Source: Medlinks.ru
P.S. The material was recommended for publicationOlga Tutina(a regular reader of the blog and a participant in distance training). By publishing the results of my research on this blog, I hope that it will help many people to accept and overcome life's trials with dignity. Everything passes. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Thank you Olga!
Sincerely,
Dmitry Poslavsky.
Georgy Trofimov: “I started a businessfrom scratch,5 months ago. My advice is to take action!
15 success stories that will break your "impossible"
Irina Tarasova: “In 6 months I lost 9 kg and reached a monthly income of $1000
The right will help to fly up goal setting
Lyudmila Terentyeva: “Remember, you need to try! Even if you make a mistake, try again!
| . |
27 comments
- lena said:
I don’t agree, for the first time in my life I experienced a mental trauma, and I still can’t cope with it
lena, perhaps you should consult a psychologist or psychotherapist.
I was convinced of this truth on my own life experience over the past 3 years. Too many bad things happened, but now everything is much better.
Crazy blows of stupid mistakes
On their own skin, everyone has tried it.
It is important, however,
Make the right conclusion
To miss the whip, do not test twice.In times of hardships, hardships and delusions.
No need to cry into a vest.
He is protected from bad weather.
Who soberly looks, looking for a way out,
What is wrong? How to get away from troubles?After all, everything that happens to us
All…. From tears to smiles.
We record in experience -
Collection of our victories and mistakes.And everyone perceives differently
Those lessons that he asks himself.
Someone, out of difficulties, erects a fence.
And someone creates a springboard from them.Do not be afraid of mistakes, problems, ... avoid failures.
Paradox... But they are moving us forward.
And our path, through life, is always illuminated.
Just. They need to be understood, understood and solved ...There is such an American psychologist Larry Crabb, his book "Inside Out" helped me in a particularly difficult and VERY long period of continuous suffering. The idea of this passage was - and I will say it in my own words - that one can direct one's primary interest in life first of all into conscious observation of oneself and building one's personality, and also the spiritual and personal growth that inevitably follows.
If a person consciously chooses this path, then regardless of difficulties, trials, suffering and deprivation, he accustoms himself to rejoice on this path, despite tears and experiences. Moreover, the author offers VULNERABILITY and FORGIVENESS as the main and consciously chosen growth tools.
Thus, having shifted his interest to the area of growth, that is, attention, trust, love and respect for his own personality in the first place, a person gradually learns to find joy and benefit from any experience.
For myself, I call it: THE JOY PRINCIPLE. I hold on to him and he justifies himself.
Everyone suffers and is injured, this is an indispensable condition of our life. It is accompanied by pain, but I note that mostly pain occurs where healing and transformation are needed. And it depends only on the person's knowledge of what he wants and his choice.
You can suffer and let your suffering go down the drain, in which case both I and you are really unfortunate people worthy of regret, or you can use the same suffering
to build a solid foundation for growth, development, happiness, and much more, which together is called the FULL OF LIFE.
It doesn't matter what happens to us, what matters is what we do with it!I agree with “madinna”: “difficulties break the weak, they make the strong LEN stronger.” strong, just, and can cope with the situation, accepting it as a useful experience. I’ll add on my own that the mess around us is a consequence of the mess in ourselves. my mess, brought me to health problems, and the further it got worse. perceived others, especially relatives, with wild irritation. all sorts of troubles stuck to me. I began to practice according to a certain methodology, but it took more than a year for noticeable results. the essence of the methodology is precisely to put things in order in oneself, and only after that environment will change for the better. there will always be difficulties, if you learn to be “friends” with them, then they will be for your own good ( personal experience priceless).
I absolutely agree with Dmitry that the biographies of great people are direct proof of the saying “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”. Either you master the situation, pain, fear, illness, and become stronger from this, discover some new facets of yourself. Or negativity takes over you and your life. I think the answer to the question is critical here: “Are you afraid or not afraid?”. Pain, betrayal, death, lack of money ... If you accept the situation, find the reasons in yourself, change and move on, you will really become stronger. I know for myself.
Probably everyone is familiar with the expression: "Everything that cannot kill us makes us stronger." And I want to believe that failures harden us, and victories make us move on. Let's see what makes us stronger.
Spirit Formula
First, let's define what morality means. strong man. Firstly, he steadfastly overcomes all the difficulties that fate has prepared. Secondly, he knows how to control himself and in any situation goes to achieve his goals.
Victories and defeats
As we wrote above, the strength of our spirit directly depends on success and failure. It is very important in case of blows of fate to be able to analyze your mistakes and try not to make them in the future. Defeat always throws a person back, and the faster he can get back on his feet and move forward, the stronger he is.
Success inspires us and gives us faith in ourselves and our strengths. Victory must drive forward. Many lucky people stopped and began to stagnate when it was necessary to go forward with double strength so that a little luck would grow into a huge success.
Moral qualities
Of course, the strength of the spirit can be cultivated in oneself, thanks to moral character. It is necessary to have not only diligence and patience, but also to be open, honest, decisive. Build all you need moral qualities our will helps. Let's look at what volitional qualities needs to be developed.
- Initiative. This is the ability to voluntarily and independently solve their own affairs or embody new ideas. If necessary, you need to be able to involve outsiders to help.
- Purposefulness. The ability to set goals and work towards achieving them. In the article, we will also touch on the factors that affect the implementation of the plan.
- Determination. It is important not only to make decisions, but also to bring them to the end.
- Patience. It is the ability to accept reality, thereby affecting your comfort zone.
- Perseverance. The ability to withstand setbacks and stay true to the intended goal.
- Discipline. This is a code of conduct.
- Self-control. It is the control of one's feelings, speech and behavior. It is also important to be able to keep negative emotions.
How to become strong
- get busy physical activity. Choose the sport that you like and do it with pleasure. Gradually, you can move on to more complex loads that are difficult. Overcoming this kind of difficulties, you temper the body and spirit;
- Improve yourself. If you are strong in a particular area, read as many books as you can on the subject. Participate in discussions, seminars, conferences. If there is no area where you can boast of knowledge, then just take the time to read and gain useful information thus broadening your horizons. This also applies to sports, you can set yourself a goal - to become a candidate for a master of sports or to achieve certain heights. Choose an area in which you want to be at your best - sports, music, dance, science and study, study, study;
- Set yourself a goal in life and go to its implementation. It is better to start small and take small steps towards the cherished goal, or maybe the goal of your whole life. After all, everyone knows: "If you really want to, you can fly into space";
- Be prepared to change your habits and principles for your purpose. Learn to overcome laziness. To achieve the goal, set tasks and solve them;
- Try to be concentrated. Do not spray on several goals or cases at once. Start with one and gradually increase your needs. Concentration will help strengthen your spirit;
- Try to plan your day. It will be much easier for you if you know what awaits you tomorrow. This will not only make your life easier, but also give you confidence;
- Learn to say "no" to your weaknesses. It will be a kind of struggle with yourself. For example, do not eat after 18 pm or give up cigarettes;
- Be patient. Not everything can turn out the way you planned right away;
- Learn to deal with failure. Believe that after defeat there will be victory, and continue to work on yourself;
- Try to fight your fears;
- Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself, regretting the past. Spend it on analyzing your actions and results;
- Don't be afraid of change. Dare to take risks. This will help you discover your very best qualities;
- Do not envy the success of others;
- Don't be afraid of loneliness. Instead, use it to reflect on your present and plan for the future.
By adhering to these principles, you will build character and learn to make good decisions.
The greatest danger to our peace of mind, are not the problems that are around us every day, but how we relate to our problems. The biggest danger for us is not the problem itself, but what it brings after itself, that state of discomfort, disappointment, powerlessness. The problem itself does not affect our physical condition, but the feelings that it brings can destroy.
We need to make a clear distinction between what is happening and our reaction to what is happening. Remember, any problem can be solved, the main thing is how to do it, causing a minimum of harm to yourself and others. We are not always able to influence what happens. But we can influence our condition. Many successful people have developed the strength to accept life's challenges as a natural occurrence and manage their response to the situation. Why is it so hard for us to learn this?
First you need to understand: "what does not kill us makes us stronger." Learn to treat problems as life lessons. From any problem you can learn something new. See the problem as an opportunity to gain new experience that you are still not familiar with.
Don't think the problem is unsolvable. Everything can always be changed, the main thing is to wish for it. Don't give up and don't give up. Usually we spend more energy on experiencing the problem than on its solution, although it should be the other way around.
Do not allow the problem to affect all areas of life. If in some area of your life there was problem situation Don't let it affect other areas of your life. What happened at work should stay at work, what happened in the family, in the family.
Do not blame your personal qualities as the cause of the problem. Look at the problem as a new challenge to your capabilities, do not reproach yourself, but solve the problem, do not be pathetic. Fate loves the strong.
Don't wait for the problem to go away, fix it. Like any strong person, treat the problem as if it were a problem to be solved. Do not take the problem too seriously, but try to solve it. Having solved one problem in our life, we will meet another, third, fourth ... Over time, we will learn to solve all problems at once, as a problem with many solutions.
Expand your views. Look at the problem from all sides, because the solution to a particular problem may be the most unexpected.
It is by solving problems that we can achieve success, because only then do we force ourselves to think about what is training for our gray matter. By solving problems, we develop a lot of good qualities. There are no problems, solving which a reward would not await you, you are the master of the situation, and not vice versa.
Exist three types of problems , and, accordingly, the type of their solution. Think about what kind of problem you have and how to solve it, based on the type:
- Problems that we can control directly. We can solve them by changing our habits. For example, the problem of lack of money. To solve this problem, we must change the habit of spending money on everything and learn how to save.
- Problems that we can solve indirectly. We can solve them only by changing the sphere of influence, i.e. learning something new, gaining experience, changing your outlook on life
- Problems that are out of our control. Usually we cannot solve such problems, and the only thing left is to pull ourselves together and not be upset.
The principle of solving the problem of each type consists of six simple steps :
1. Think about what is useful about this problem? There is a lesson to be learned from any problem. Think about the lesson that this particular problem teaches.
2.
What shortcomings in my life contributed to the problem? By answering this question, you will get rid of the feeling of the victim. Perhaps the problems arose not because of you, but because of someone else.
3.
What should I do to avoid falling into this situation again? Think about what actions you need to take in order not to encounter this problem again.
4.
What solutions exist? Think of ALL options for solving the problem, believe me, there are a lot of them. Look at the situation from different angles.
5.
What is the best solution? After weighing all the pros and cons, choose one, the most correct solution.
6.
How can solving a problem give me pleasure? In simple words what prospects leads to the solution of a particular problem.
life is full difficult situations, and you can’t say that it’s easier for someone, it’s more difficult for someone. Everyone has had problems at some time, but only strong personalities found worthy ways out of the situation. Life does not punish us, but educates us, and what does not kill us makes ours stronger.
Man is spoken of in passive form. Those. there is a preset that nothing depends on the person.
The second substitution trick: "kills" - is it a process or a result? If "kills" - it means it makes you closer to death and more helpless, then the expression turns into "everything that does not make us weaker, makes us stronger" ... Tautology, yes neutral events are also ignored. when it is no longer possible to intervene and use force. Killed? So it made you weaker! Didn't kill? (And this is about everyone who is still able to read) So it made me stronger! It's very nice to read how you get stronger for free.
The third substitution trick: who decides what strength is? What about people who do not fit into the framework of this thought and do not feel their strength after an injury? And it's very simple. We need to tell them that they are strong (and this aphorism will give weight to your words). And mentally solve their problem for yourself, because other people's problems are solved elementarily. Is someone unable to do something? So you just need to “believe in yourself”, “try hard”, “let go of the bad”, “think constructively” and other meaningless motivational statements. And even if the “patient” resists and repels his strength, then this inconsistency between reality and the aphorism is temporary ... sooner or later he will either get out or die (and stop bothering, falling out of attention).
And now about the consequences: what will happen if you blindly follow this thought?
The person will strengthen his passive position and the conviction that nothing depends on him. And it will be easier to give up what he considers beyond his strength.
A person will receive the correct undeniable truth if he perceives "kills" as a process, or he will receive a criterion for solving situations that have already ended if he perceives "kills" as a result. After that, you can more confidently broadcast the truth (process) and not be afraid that the solution you proposed will cause Negative consequences(total).
A person receives one more indestructible rule of life, which helps to feel the unity and limitations of this world at the cost of avoiding contradictions.
And in the end, about the reasons that made this aphorism so popular. Aphorism helps to distract from one’s impotence, it helps to communicate more confidently and be firmer in one’s decisions, it protects from feelings of guilt and shame when in contact with unresolved issues other people and, finally, it makes the picture of the world more predictable and safer. But the price is high! If you (according to your ideas) know how to admit your mistakes, are free and spontaneous in dealing with other people, are ready for surprises in this world and still adhere to this conviction, let me know and refute my words with your own example.
