Previously, all the boys knew that you would break through to the movie "Children under 16", boobs - they would! Now if they write "16+", there are no guarantees.
If you suspect someone is surreptitiously watching you, yawn. If he's really looking, he'll yawn too.
If intuition did not fail, then this is “I thought so,” if it failed, then “how I felt.”
Whatever I'm going to do, my grandmother has a similar story in which someone died.
My neighbor was struck by lightning, since then he has acquired a superpower - to beat everyone with this story.
In the morning I had such a strong hangover that I stood in the shower for almost an hour. Then I gathered my strength and turned it on.
I like traveling very much. Yesterday I visited the kitchen - the capital of the apartment.
Remember how we sat in class studying Pavlov's dog? They laughed for a long time about how stupid his dogs were. And then the bell rang, and we flew to the dining room.
Somehow it was not possible to throw easy money left and right. But I feel it's mine.
Perhaps the most funny statuses on the site Statuses-Tut.ru! When you want to amuse your friends, look at Statuses-Tut and you will find funny statuses for classmates, in contact or for other social networks. The main thing is not to lose heart, because you can always find positive statuses, thanks to which you will cheer up others, and gray days suddenly sparkle with new colors. Our most funny statuses will help to make any Princess Nesmeyana laugh, and now she is already laughing with you, and you are reading together funny statuses for classmates on Statuses-Tut.ru! This is not surprising, because laughter, jokes, a positive and cheerful attitude prolong life, help maintain good relations and make it easier to see the world. Our most hilarious statuses about everything and everyone will give you the opportunity to stand out from the crowd of gloomy and dissatisfied Internet users. Funny quotes and sayings are sure to cheer up everyone who is lucky enough to see them. The funniest statuses are here! Let's find the status together!
Selected funny statuses!
For us funny statuses do not imply a frivolous approach, as we carefully monitor the quality of our content. Funny statuses will surely please your friends and cheer you up. Positive Quotes as a status, they will reflect your positive attitude in life and will please everyone who sees them. In any situation, the main thing is to always think positively, and let your day not work out in the morning, come to us and read our carbon monoxide statuses and you yourself will not notice how the situation changes in your favor. Everyone knows that life, it's like a zebra - today the stripe is white, and tomorrow it's already black. Let pessimists think so, but we are optimists, because our very funny statuses are on our pages in classmates and in contact!The funniest statuses!
Your significant other wants to meet New Year on the seashore, and that the heat is +30? Our humorous statuses will help you take your companion's thoughts in a different direction. Parents tormented by talking about the dacha and already in December they are buying seeds? Our funny statuses about spring will help you, cheer them up. You can judge a person by their sense of humor. You do not want your friends to consider you a fan of Petrosyan or the Ponomarenko brothers? Then our statuses with humor will help you. And let them just say that Ivan Urgan is just handsome, now he has serious competition in your face.Funny statuses are here!
So, the matter is small: we go to the appropriate section of the site, find carbon monoxide statuses and place them on our site. Just a few minutes of pleasant work, and witty quote on your page. And the fact that the work of finding funny statuses is really pleasant can not even be disputed. After all, along the way, you will definitely look through more than a dozen funny quotes which will certainly delight you with excellent humor and charge you with excellent mood. Positive people are very fond of funny statuses. Because funny statuses are very simple, but incredible effective remedy to lift the spirits of everyone around. It's so easy to pick funny quote and place it as a status on your page. Everyone who visits your page will certainly pay attention to your status and at least smile. But this is already a lot! That is why funny statuses are so popular. It would seem that one or two lines of text, and the mood is already in the black. This is the whole essence and meaning of funny sayings and sayings.***
I see the meaning of life, I understand at a glance, I remove slags, I bring them back to consciousness - everything is at an agreed price. Your money is my concern
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There are people with such developed sense humor, that their humor clearly overtook their intellect.
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I built a house ... I am raising my son ... And I divorced a tree !!!
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Leaders are to be commended! And some - just put on a pedestal, but higher. Let them sit there, do not interfere with work.
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Damn it, we are beautiful as always, respectively, and everything around, and the whole world we make it even better :)
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"Indian summer" is hot weather that sets in immediately after you have packed and hid all summer things away.
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If we go and get into something, then it's me easily! Straight to the fullest and to the very pumpkin! Well done, I'm straight, special. I know routes...
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I eat a kilo of sweets a day ... not a fig, life does not become sweeter.
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Any reinforced concrete plans can be destroyed by ramming circumstances ...
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For some reason beautiful women they keep their eyes on themselves ... and loved ones - the brain ...
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It's always a little alarming when doctors give a lifetime guarantee on their work.
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It is very strange, but it is precisely those who do not want to lead healthy lifestyle life...
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After Vladimir Putin drew on school board cat in the “rear view” perspective, it became clear what place the government turned to education.
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If laziness comes into fashion, I will be the most stylish and cool.
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How fleeting life is - I didn’t have time to look back, how I turned from a girl with a future into a woman with a past ...))
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The advance payment and the salary divorced a long time ago, as before, they are only registered at the place of residence, but they don’t live ... I threw away my wallet ... as unnecessary))) ...
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We have a tolerant team. To endure and endure ...)) Statuses about life with humor
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Nature great feeling humor! April Fool's joke it was a success: from the night everything was covered with snow, and in the evening frost hit.
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A sense of humor is a person's attitude to life. The easier he treats everything, the brighter his sense of humor.
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Don't argue with just anyone.
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Talent, as an ideal - everyone has their own and is different for everyone ...
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- The doctor prescribed me this medicine and promised that with it I would start a different life!
- You mean the next one?
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HOORAY!!! Yesterday I won the court against traffic cops!!! My lawyer did manage to prove that at a speed of 240 km. per hour, the sign 40 is really not visible !!!
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Got up in the morning good mood, decided to enjoy life all day like crazy, came to work, caring people corrected the mood ...
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Only the dead are absolutely not hypocrites.
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I Lately I sleep very anxiously...especially at work.
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The head goes to the shoulders, the soul - to the heels. And there's nowhere for your butt to hide. And answer her.
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Delivery by Russian Post worked more or less. But then a bicycle was stolen from the postman Pechkin ...
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I treat life with humor and she, at times, likes to joke with me ...))))
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Men, if you don't want to live with a fool, don't turn your WOMEN INTO BAB!!
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Life is full of failures and troubles, but if there is a sense of humor, there will be a reason to laugh ... and a good mood
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It happens that the Mosquito considers himself an Eagle, because he has wings and he flies on them ...
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Foreigners are surprised why our fences are high - above the waist ... Darkness ... What is below the waist ... then we have a fence!
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I suffer from periodic bouts of an overabundance of emotions, but in general I am quite adequate and happy ...))
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Thought always gnaws, if food for thought, like a lump in the throat.
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I'm on a diet: I don't eat meat, fish, starchy foods, or sweets... Yes, it's simple, I don't have any money!!!
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Don't shout down a barking dog.
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Previously, in order to free the toilet, it was required to turn off the light in it. Now for this you need to turn off the router.
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My friend has been suffering from pressure since childhood ... You should have seen how she chokes on dumplings !!!
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Even people with a developed sense of humor do not want a ridiculous salary.
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Brevity is the sister of talent, but not all those who are friends with a sister are also friends with a brother ...
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The perfect cocktail for life: adventurism fuck *ism altruism a drop of selfishness. Mix, shake, drink immediately ...)))))
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A dull time is not autumn at all, but those ten days before payday!
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I'm still too young... to wonder if there is life after death? I'm much more interested in... is there any s*x... after the wedding???
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It seems there will be three of us soon, she told her husband ... and got a lover ... and he, in my opinion, has been thinking for the second month ... that I am pregnant ...))
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An exorcism, on the contrary, is when you are expelled from hell, because you got everyone there too.
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Looking for adventure for my fall! Statuses about life with humor
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As soon as my sense of humor wins over my upbringing, I can finally be rude to others without suffering remorse.
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Ponies are cheap and cost more...
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Not noticed in bad companies! I'm trying to fool myself ... on my own !!!)))
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I drank 200 grams of rum in the morning ... Now I'm roaming !!!))
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Why am I so lazy? - Asked ass and she answered - Because I'm forever young and beautiful!
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A women's handbag is like a tourist's backpack - it contains only the most necessary things.
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If the wife listens to your every word, she is probably looking for a hole in your alibi.)))
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Six billion people live on Earth, not counting visitors!!!
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I don’t listen to anyone, if they shame and blame ... Because the best! And also deaf!
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Life is a complete s * ks: everyone fries each other with great pleasure ...
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A smart woman GET SMART when necessary.
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Before scolding a child, remember yourself at his age, pat him on the head, kiss and go drink your valerian ... :))))))))
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Hope dies penultimately...
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People without a sense of humor are like run out of champagne. It seems that the taste is the same, but there is no feeling of a holiday.
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I can't understand people... without a sense of humor ;))
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It turns out that bestiality has its deep and rich history: that's where the nymphs, satyrs and mermaids came from!
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When there are children in the house, it can only be perfectly clean in a vase of sweets ...
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And her name is Glashka, and her last name is Gotovko, and every day she has the same thing ...
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exit from maternity leave to work - milestone in the life of any woman ... Well, if you don’t be smart, then I went wild, really went wild))))))
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Today was on the market! I found out ... that we have three clothing sizes: "for you", "not for you" and "must be measured"!
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Don't know who you are in life? go outside at 4 am and shout "WHO AM I?" whoever wakes up will answer!!
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Tell me my dressing table, am I such a schmuck in nature?
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For wealthy gentlemen! The family is for sale on a turnkey basis. Beautiful wife, child and mother-in-law.
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Girl, it's time to tell you the truth. we got you to wash the dishes
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Not all proverbs are carnival for the cat! For example, when I eat, I am vigilance and sociability itself ...
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“I will urgently meet an unmarried president to create a strong family”
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I watch detective stories on TV. The judge was killed with a figurine of Themis, a computer scientist was hit on the head with a laptop. In the next series, the corpse of a gynecologist is found. That's interesting, how is it?
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Keep your friends at a distance. At gunshot distance. And NO problems with betrayal.
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A woman is honest only during a tantrum ... Provoke her and shudder enthusiastically at what she really thinks of you ...
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Your freedom to wave your arms ends where my nose begins.
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It's good when people have a sense of humor, some don't have it at all.
Statuses about life with humor
New cool statuses- seems to be a trifle, but how uplifting from these funny quotes! We want to cheer you, your friends when they visit your page in Odnoklassniki or just cheer you up. We must live happily, joyfully! You come home sad, maybe you quarreled with a young man, or at school, at work, trouble. And so you want something that will cheer you up, cheer you up! Add new cool statuses to Odnoklassniki or Vkontakte!
Watch, read, choose cool statuses for Odnoklassniki, Vkontakte. We collect the newest, funniest, funny and funny statuses. Choose the cool status you like and click on the icon of your social network. Most cool statuses only on our website! Stop looking for them on the Internet, because we have already collected the best of the best. Most people often fall into funny situations. With the right approach, they easily turn into cool statuses. This is how about half of them are created, the other half are specially invented, but no less cool. As cool status jokes can be used that have recently lost some of their popularity. Best jokes, jokes, incredible life situations, it's all here - read and enjoy. We hope you enjoy it!
