What is my head thinking
If you think that I am a good student, you are wrong. I study hard. For some reason, everyone thinks that I am capable, but lazy. I don't know if I'm capable or not. But only I know for sure that I'm not lazy. I sit on tasks for three hours.
Here, for example, now I'm sitting and I want to solve the problem with all my might. And she does not dare. I say to my mother: Mom, but my problem is not working.
Don't be lazy, says mom. - Think carefully, and everything will work out. Just think carefully!
She's leaving on business. And I take my head with both hands and say to her:
Think head. Think carefully... "Two pedestrians went from point A to point B..." Head, why don't you think? Well, head, well, think, please! Well, what are you worth!
A cloud floats outside the window. It is as light as fluff. Here it stopped. No, it floats on.
Head, what are you thinking? Aren `t you ashamed!!! “Two pedestrians went from point A to point B…” Luska, probably, also left. She is already walking. If she had approached me first, I would have forgiven her, of course. But is she suitable, such a pest ?!
"From point A to point B..." No, it won't work. On the contrary, when I go out into the yard, she will take Lena by the arm and will whisper with her. Then she will say: "Len, come to me, I have something." They will leave, and then they will sit on the windowsill and laugh and gnaw on seeds.
“Two pedestrians went from point A to point B ...” And what will I do? .. And then I will call Kolya, Petka and Pavlik to play rounders. And what will she do? .. Yeah, she will put on the record "Three Fat Men". Yes, so loudly that Kolya, Petka and Pavlik will hear and run to ask her to let them listen. They listened a hundred times, everything is not enough for them! And then Lyuska will close the window, and they will all listen to the record there.
"From point A to point ... to point ..." And then I'll take it and shoot something right at her window. Glass - ding! - and shatter. Let him know.
So. I'm tired of thinking. Think do not think - the task does not work. Just awful, what a difficult task! I'll walk around for a bit and start thinking again.
I closed my book and looked out the window. Lyuska alone was walking in the yard. She jumped into hopscotch. I went outside and sat down on a bench. Lucy didn't even look at me.
Earring! Vitka! - Lyuska immediately shouted, - Let's go play rounders!
The Karmanov brothers looked out the window.
We have a throat, both brothers said hoarsely. - They won't let us in.
Lena! Lucy screamed. - Linen! Come out!
Instead of Lena, her grandmother looked out and threatened Lyuska with her finger.
Pavlik! Lucy screamed.
Nobody appeared at the window.
Pe-et-ka-ah! Luska perked up.
Girl, what are you yelling at?! Someone's head popped out of the window. - A sick person is not allowed to rest! There is no rest from you! - And the head stuck back into the window.
Luska furtively looked at me and blushed like a cancer. She tugged at her pigtail. Then she took the thread off her sleeve. Then she looked at the tree and said:
Lucy, let's go to the classics.
Come on, I said.
We jumped into the hopscotch and I went home to solve my problem.
As soon as I sat down at the table, my mother came:
Well, what's the problem?
Does not work.
But you've been sitting on it for two hours already! It's just awful what it is! They ask the children some puzzles! .. Well, let's show your puzzle! Maybe I can do it? I still graduated from the institute ... So ... "Two pedestrians went from point A to point B ..." Wait, wait, this task is familiar to me! .. Listen, you and your dad solved it last time! I remember perfectly!
How? - I was surprised. - Really? .. Oh, really, it's the forty-fifth task, and we were given the forty-sixth.
At this, my mother got very angry.
It's outrageous! Mom said. - It's unheard of! This mess! Where is your head? What is she thinking about?!
"Greetings from the Far North!"
Let's single out prefixes and suffixes in words, - said Vera Evstigneevna. - Prefixes will be highlighted with wavy lines, and suffixes with straight lines ...
I sat and looked at the board. Nearby, Lyuska was writing something in a notebook with a smart look.
I was bored. Prefixes - suffixes, suffixes - prefixes ... A cat meowed outside the window. I wonder what she meows? Did they step on her tail or something? .. Prefixes - suffixes, suffixes - prefixes ... Boring!
Take pencils and underline, - said Vera Evstigneevna.
I took a pencil, looked at Lyuska and, instead of emphasizing, wrote on a blotter:
Hello dear Lyudmila Ivanovna!
Lyuska diligently singled out suffixes and prefixes in her notebook. She has nothing to do! I started writing more.
Your former school friend Lyudmila Semyonovna writes to you from afar. Hello from the Far North!
Luska glanced sideways at my blotter and again began to highlight the prefixes.
... How are your children Seryozha and Kostya? Your Sergei is very handsome. And your Kostya is very smart and wonderful. I just fell in love with him at first sight! He's so talented, it's scary! He composes books for children because he is your writer. And your son Seryozha is a janitor. Because he is handsome, but stupid. He did not study well, and he was expelled from the institute.
Luska cast an uneasy glance at my blotter. She was obviously worried about what I was writing there?
... And your husband Sindibober Filimondrovich is very angry. He is all gray-haired, and walks with long beard, and beats you with a stick, and I don’t feel sorry for you at all!
Then I burst out laughing, and Luska looked at me again with displeasure.
... And you yourself are also already an old aunt. You are fat as a barrel and thin as a skeleton, and you have one tooth missing in front.
This is where I burst out laughing. Lucy looked at me with hatred.
... And everything is still the same with us. We live far from you, and we don’t miss you, and we don’t notice any prefixes and suffixes. This is all mura and nonsense, and we don’t want to teach this ever!
Ta-a-ak ... - I suddenly heard behind me and went cold.
Next to me, no one knows where the figure of Vera Evstigneevna grew from!
I quickly covered the blotter with my hands.
Ta-a-ak. The whole class is engaged, and Sinitsyna, as always, is carried away by an extraneous matter. Give me what you write! Faster Faster!
I had already crumpled the blotter, but Vera Evstigneevna's hand extended commandingly... Vera Evstigneevna took the blotter out of my sweaty palm and unfolded it.
I wonder what we do in class?
The teacher smoothed out the blotting paper and, tilting her head slightly back, began to read:
- "Hello, dear dear Lyudmila Ivanovna! .."
The class was worried.
By the way, a comma is placed before the appeal, - Vera Evstigneevna said in an icy voice. - "... Your former school friend Lyudmila Semyonovna writes to you from afar ..."
The class chuckled softly.
- "Greetings from the far North!" Vera Evstigneevna said with an imperturbable face.
The class laughed. I didn't know where to fall. And Vera Evstigneevna read loudly and distinctly:
- "How are your children Seryozha and Kostya? Your Seryozha is very beautiful. And your Kostya ..."
Something unimaginable happened to the class.
- "...and he was kicked out of the institute. And your husband C...Cindy..." How? There is something incomprehensible here...
Sindybober, - I said quietly. Something terrible was happening to my ears. From them all my head was hot and unpleasant.
Ka-a-ak ?!
The class paused for a second.
Sindybober, I repeated. - Sindibober Filimondrovich ...
And then the class seemed to explode. Everyone laughed at full voice. How crazy!
Valka Dlinnokhvostova, who was sitting to my left, all red as a cancer, squealed thinly and piercingly. Ivanov, bulging his eyes and opening his mouth, rode on the sled. And fat Burakov fell down from his desk with laughter, like a sack.
Only Vera Evstigneevna did not laugh.
Get up, Burakov! she ordered. - I do not see anything funny! And in general, stop the noise in the classroom!
Burakov immediately jumped up. The laughter ceased, as if on cue. In complete silence, the teacher finished reading my blotter.
Well then, said the teacher. - Now everything is clear to me. I always suspected, Sinitsyna, that for you the prefixes and suffixes are "mura and nonsense." And not only prefixes and suffixes!
The class became alert again. Sima Korostyleva with open mouth listened to every word of Vera Evstigneevna and looked from me to her and back.
It turns out that I was right ... Well, then ... If this is so, since studying for you, in your own words, is "mud and nonsense", you will have to do with you, as with that Seryozha, who was expelled from the institute for poor performance, and released you from school!
A general sigh, like a sigh of horror, swept through the classroom. Things were getting serious...
Yes, Sinitsyna, I made a mistake. I thought that you began to study worse because it was difficult for you, because you were sick and missed a lot, but what happens? .. It turns out that you just "don't want to learn this ever"! Stand up when the teacher is talking to you!
I stood in front of Vera Evstigneevna. Tears fell from my eyes and silently clattered against the lid of the desk.
Why are you silent? And why are you crying? - said Vera Evstigneevna. - If you don't want to study, take your briefcase and leave. At least you will not distract those who want to study from their studies. In particular, your girlfriend, with whom you could take an example! You're free. Go, Sinitsyna.
There was deathly silence in the classroom. Such that the slapping of my tears on the wet desk was clearly heard.
Vera Evstigneevna, I won't do it again, - I whispered. - Can I stay?
No, - said Vera Evstigneevna firmly. - Tell your parents to come to school tomorrow.
And you can't come.
I collected a portfolio. My hands were trembling. Lucy looked at me with eyes wide with horror.
You can keep this for yourself,” said Vera Evstigneevna.
I stuffed the ill-fated blotter into my briefcase and slowly trudged to the door.
Everyone followed me with their eyes. Everyone sat and was silent.
They will never see me again.
I can imagine how happy they are: "It's not enough for her! So she needs it!"
Everyone, everyone is happy. Nobody cares about me. Not Ivanov! Not Longtail! Not Lucy! Not even Kolya Lykov!
There they all sit and are silent. And tomorrow they won't even remember me! They don't even remember!
I grabbed the door handle and slowly pulled it towards me…
And suddenly, behind me, in complete silence, the lid of the desk banged, and Kolya Lykov jumped up from his seat. His face was red.
Vera Evstigneevna! he stammered. - Please allow Sinitsyna to stay! She won't b-b-write in letter class anymore! H-w-honestly, it won't!
Vera Evstigneevna, she really won't be anymore! - I heard a squeaky voice from the last desk, and I saw how the skinny figure of Irka Mukhina, a terrible wretch and imaginary, hung over the desk in the far corner of the class. She didn't do it on purpose! She stupidly wrote that, Vera Evstigneevna!
Of course, stupid! - picked up Sima Korostyleva. - Vera Evstigneevna, out of stupidity! Honestly!
Yes, she is a fool, what can I say! shouted Ivanov. - Don't kick her out! She's a fool, but she shouldn't be!
No need! No need! they all shouted. - Don't kick her out!
I stood near the door. I didn't know what to do. They were screaming from all sides. They didn't want me to be kicked out! And my Lyuska, my mischievous Lyuska, shouted the loudest:
Vera Evstigneevna, she will be no more! Please forgive her! Forgive her! Sorry!
Vera Evstigneevna looked at the class with some surprise. She looked from Ivanov to Dlinnokhvostova, from Dlinnokhvostova to Korostyleva, from Korostyleva to Kolya Lykov, and a strange expression appeared on her face. It was as if she wanted to smile, but she held back with all her might, and made a stern face, and knitted her eyebrows ...
That's it! she said slowly. "So you don't want me to kick Sinitsyna out?"
We do not want! We do not want! they all shouted. And even the lazy Wy Rakov parted his thick lips and said in a bass voice:
We do not want!
Well, what about Sinitsyna's unwillingness to study?
She was joking! It's just her!
"Just"? Vera Evstigneyevna frowned.
And then Kolya Lykov came forward again.
Vera Evstigneevna, - he said, - Sinitsyna really does not study well. But I promise you as a leader, I will do everything so that she begins to study well!
Ah, so? .. You promise it, Kolya? ..
Vera Evstigneevna thought for a second.
Well... If you promise me that... And besides, I can't ignore the opinion of the class. Okay, Sinitsyna. Take your seat. But look, Kostya Lykov vouched for you. Don't let your friend down!
And I went back.
I listened to the teacher throughout the lesson. I didn't take my eyes off her. I underlined the prefixes and suffixes in such a way that I almost pushed through the notebook.
And then the bell rang.
Vera Evstigneevna collected notebooks, took cool magazine and went to the teacher's room.
And then the whole class surrounded me with a dense wall.
Well, Sinitsyna, you gave! - said Ivanov, - How are you talking about Kostya?
- "Your Kostya is smart and wonderful," said Sima Korostyleva.
“And I fell in love with him,” giggled Valka Long-tailed. - Oh, I can't! I can not!
And what about Seryozha the janitor? He was kicked out of the institute, right? Great! Lucy, where did you get all this from? Did you read it in a book?
And this one ... how is it ... Sindibober Filimondrovich? Angry, with a gray beard, fights with a stick ... Oh, I can’t! Scream!
And about Kositsyna, how! About Kositsyn! That she is thin as a skeleton, and she does not have a tooth in front! Lucy, come on, open your mouth!
Well, that's stupid! Luska said. - And there is nothing funny. Also me, a friend is called! She may be missing two teeth. This does not mean that I have to report to the whole class about this!
"How the ships are escorted..."
It was morning. It was Sunday. Kolya and I were sitting on a tree. On a large spreading branch. We ate bread with jam and dangled our legs. Thick white clouds floated importantly above us, and the sun shone with all its might, and the top of my head became hot, like a stove,
Kohl, let's climb trees every day! We will climb in the morning and climb down in the evening. And we will have lunch on a tree, and teach lessons, but we will not go to school.
Let's. I love height. I will definitely be a pilot when I grow up.
Kohl, and who should I become?
An artist. You sing great.
Really, Kol? Honestly, am I good at whining?
I like. Yesterday you sang "How the Steamboats See Off" in the yard, and I sat at home and listened. I even turned off the radio.
Do you want me to sleep now?
And I sang:
How are the steamers escorted,
I tried hard. I stole a glance at Kolya. Kolya had a thoughtful and serious face. He looked into the distance. Maybe he thought about how he would become a pilot when he grew up.
Water, water, -
Around the water...
And suddenly I heard:
Hey Lucy, where are you?
Under the tree stood Pavlik Ivanov.
Kolya and I froze. Just expect trouble from this Ivanov! After all, he will tell everyone that we climbed a tree. And then we will get it from our parents! And in the courtyard they will tease "the bride and groom" ...
Ivanov walked around the sandbox, looked around.
Luska! he yelled. - Get out! I found you! You are in the basement!
At this time, my Lyuska came out of the entrance.
What makes you think that I'm in the basement? Lucy was surprised.
Not you! - said Pavlik Ivanov. - Here Sinitsyna hid somewhere and sings from there. Let's look for her?
Here's another! - said Lyuska, - She will find herself ... And then, can she sing? It squeaks like a chicken. Listen disgusting!
It's still strange, - said Pavlik. - Where is she? I heard her voice somewhere nearby.
It was such a lie that I nearly fell off the tree.
Calmly! Kolya said. Don't worry, they'll see us.
And in general, she has no hearing, - said Lyuska. - You can't even imagine how exhausted I was with her, while I taught her to sing "How the steamers see off."
Do not lie, Luska, - I could not stand it. - How not ashamed to lie!
Aha! Pavlik said. She's definitely around here somewhere!
Lucy turned her head in all directions.
Well, I was joking, but you already believed it, ”she said in a loud voice. - "How the steamers see off" - she taught me. Both Lada and Russian Field. But I taught her Lensky's aria to sing. And Lensky's aria is a hundred times more interesting to sing than "Russian Field"! And let him not imagine that he sings best of all. Think the singer has been found!
She stretched.
Sergey Fedorovich arrived yesterday, - she said still loudly. - He brought me such a watermelon! And such pears! And today we are going to the ballet "Doctor Aibolit" with him. Now I'll put on my blue dress, put on new shoes - red, with holes - and let's go.
And she left. Pavlik was called, and he also left. Kolya and I climbed down from the tree.
Everything went well. Nobody saw us. Nobody scolded. I didn't even get scratched. The sun shone just as brightly. The clouds were just as white. And it was warm. And it was still morning. And it was Sunday. But my mood was spoiled.
She went to watch Doctor Aibolit, I said. And I have been dreaming of "Doctor Aibolit" for so long!
Lucy, - said Kolya, - you haven't finished yet. Sing on, oh!
And her shoes are new...
I looked down at my cracked sandals.
Lucy, sing, please.
And they brought her a watermelon. Still, it's unfair. Why is everything to her?
And pears, I said. And I wanted to cry.
Then Kolya looked at me in a strange way.
All right, I'll go, - suddenly said Kolya. - Please excuse me. Mom is waiting for me.
He turned and walked.
He didn't stop. He walked towards the entrance. Well, let! He thinks a lot about himself! What did I say? Well?
Kolya left. I knew why he was leaving. Colin's back flashed on the landing of the second floor. I knew, I knew why he was leaving!
Wait! I yelled and ran to catch up with him.
I caught up with him only on the third floor.
Kohl! - I muttered, - Wait! Well, wait, please! I... I want to ask you a riddle. You know what a great mystery! You won't guess anything. True true! Listen... A and B were sitting on a pipe. A fell, B disappeared, who remained on the pipe?
I know this riddle, - Kolya said gloomily.
Cole, I said. - Do not think! .. Do not think ... Honestly, I'm not like that! I don't even know what came over me! Think shoes! Yes, I have new shoes! And watermelon is nonsense! My dad can bring as many of these watermelons as you want ... And pears ...
We went down the stairs and out into the yard.
And you still sing, - said Kolya. - You haven't finished yet.
And I sang:
How are the steamers escorted,
Not like trains at all...
Lyuska was standing in the window in her new dress. She ate a pear.
Spring rain
I didn't want to study yesterday. It was so sunny outside! Such a warm yellow sun! Such branches swayed outside the window].. I wanted to stretch out my hand and touch every sticky green leaf. Oh, how your hands will smell! And the fingers stick together - you can’t pull them apart ... No, I didn’t want to learn lessons.
I went outside. The sky above me was fast. Clouds hurried along it somewhere, and sparrows chirped terribly loudly in the trees, and a big fluffy cat warmed up on a bench, and it was so good that spring!
I walked in the yard until the evening, and in the evening mom and dad went to the theater, and I went to bed without doing my homework.
The morning was dark, so dark that I did not want to get up at all. That's how it always is. If the sun is shining, I immediately jump up. I dress quickly. And coffee is delicious, and mom does not grumble, and dad jokes. And when the morning is like today, I barely get dressed, my mother pushes me and gets angry. And when I have breakfast, dad makes me remarks that I sit crookedly at the table.
On the way to school, I remembered that I had not done a single lesson, and this made me even worse. Without looking at Lyuska, I sat down at my desk and took out my textbooks.
Vera Evstigneevna entered. The lesson has begun. Now I will be called.
Sinitsyn, to the blackboard!
I started. Why should I go to the board?
I didn't learn, I said.
Vera Evstigneevna was surprised and gave me a deuce.
So why do I feel so bad in the world? I'd rather take it and die. Then Vera Evstigneevna will regret that she gave me a deuce. And mom and dad will cry and tell everyone:
"Oh, why did we ourselves go to the theater, and they left her all alone!"
Suddenly they pushed me in the back. I turned around. They put a note in my hand. I unrolled a narrow long paper ribbon and read:
Don't despair!!!
Two is rubbish!!!
You'll fix two!
I will help you!
Let's be friends with you!
It's just a secret!
Not a word to anyone!!!
Yalo-Kvo-Kyl.
It was as if something warm had been poured into me. I was so happy that I even laughed. Luska looked at me, then at the note and proudly turned away.
Is it possible that someone wrote to me? Or maybe this note is not for me? Maybe she is Lucy? But on reverse side standing: LYUSA SINITSYNA.
What a wonderful note! I have never received such wonderful notes in my life! Well, of course, a deuce is nothing! What are you talking about! I can easily fix a double!
I re-read twenty times:
"Let's be friends with you..."
Well, of course! Sure, let's be friends! Let's be friends with you!! Please! Very happy! I love it when people want to be friends with me!
But who is writing this? Some kind of YALO-QUO-KYL. Incomprehensible word. I wonder what it means? And why does this YALO-QUO-KYL want to be friends with me?.. Maybe I'm beautiful after all?
I looked at the desk. There was nothing pretty.
He probably wanted to be friends with me because I'm good. What, I'm bad, right? Of course it's good! After all, since a bad person no one wants to be friends!
To celebrate, I nudged Luska with my elbow.
Lucy, and with me one person wants to be friends!
Who? Lucy immediately asked.
I dont know. It's kind of unclear here.
Show me, I'll figure it out.
Honestly, won't you tell anyone?
Honestly!
Luska read the note and pursed her lips:
Some idiot wrote it! I couldn't say my real name.
Or maybe he's shy?
I looked around the whole class. Who could write the note? Well, who? .. It would be nice, Kolya Lykov! He is the smartest in our class. Everyone wants to be friends with him. But I have so many triplets! No, he is unlikely.
Or maybe Yurka Seliverstov wrote this? .. No, we are already friends with him. He would send me a note for no reason!
At recess, I went out into the corridor. I stood at the window and waited. It would be nice if this YALO-QUO-KYL made friends with me right away!
Pavlik Ivanov came out of the classroom and immediately went to me.
So, it means that Pavlik wrote it? It just wasn't enough!
Pavlik ran up to me and said:
Sinitsyna, give me ten kopecks.
I gave him ten kopecks to get rid of it as soon as possible. Pavlik immediately ran to the buffet, and I stayed at the window. But no one else came up.
Suddenly Burakov began to walk past me. I thought he was looking at me in a strange way. He stood next to her and looked out the window. So, it means that Burakov wrote the note?! Then I'd better leave now. I can't stand this Burakov!
The weather is terrible,” said Burakov.
Terrible weather, I said.
Here Burakov took an apple out of his pocket and bit off half with a crunch.
Burakov, give me a bite, - I could not stand it.
And it is bitter, - said Burakov and went down the corridor.
No, he didn't write the note. And thank God! You won't find another one like this in the whole world!
I looked at him contemptuously and went to class.
I went in and freaked out. Written on the blackboard was:
SECRET!!! YALO-QUO-KYL + SINITSYNA = LOVE!!! NOT A WORD TO ANYONE!
In the corner, Luska was whispering with the girls. When I entered, they all stared at me and began to giggle.
I grabbed a rag and rushed to wipe the board.
Then Pavlik Ivanov jumped up to me and whispered in my ear:
I wrote you a note.
You lie, not you!
Then Pavlik laughed like a fool and yelled at the whole class:
Oh, die! Why be friends with you?! All freckled like a cuttlefish! Silly tit!
And then, before I had time to look around, Yurka Seliverstov jumped up to him and hit this blockhead with a wet rag right on the head. Peacock howled:
Ah well! I'll tell everyone! I’ll tell everyone, everyone, everyone about her, how she receives notes! And I'll tell everyone about you! You sent her a note! - And he ran out of the classroom with a stupid cry: - Yalo-quo-kyl!
Lessons are over. Nobody approached me. Everyone quickly collected their textbooks, and the class was empty. We were alone with Kolya Lykov. Kolya still couldn't tie his shoelace.
The door creaked. Yurka Seliverstov stuck his head into the classroom, looked at me, then at Kolya, and left without saying anything.
But what if? Suddenly it's still Kolya wrote? Is it Kolya? What happiness if Kolya! My throat immediately dried up.
Kohl, please tell me, - I barely squeezed out of myself, - it's not you, by chance ...
I didn’t finish, because I suddenly saw Colin’s ears and neck blush.
Oh you! Kolya said without looking at me. - I thought you... And you...
Kolya! I screamed. - So, I...
Chatterbox you, that's who, - said Kolya. - Your tongue is like a pomelo. And I don't want to be friends with you anymore. What else was missing!
Kolya finally got through the string, got up and left the classroom. And I sat down in my seat.
I won't go anywhere. Outside the window is such a terrible rain. And my fate is so bad, so bad that it can't get any worse! So I will sit here until the night. And I will sit at night. One in a dark classroom, one in an entire dark school. So I need it.
Mikhail Zoshchenko, Lev Kassil and others - Enchanted letter
Aunt Nyura came in with a bucket.
Go home, dear, - said Aunt Nyura. - Mom was tired of waiting at home.
No one was waiting for me at home, Aunt Nyura, - I said and trudged out of the classroom.
Bad fate! Lucy is no longer my friend. Vera Evstigneevna gave me a deuce. Kolya Lykov ... I didn’t even want to remember Kolya Lykov.
I slowly put on my coat in the locker room and, barely dragging my feet, went out into the street.
It was wonderful, the best spring rain in the world!
Cheerful wet passers-by were running down the street with their collars up!
And on the porch, right in the rain, stood Kolya Lykov.
Come on, he said.
And we went.
...................................................
Copyright: Irina Pivovarova
A five-year-old daughter - to her mother, trying on a new fur coat:
- Mommy! How beautiful you are in this fur coat!
- Really? ... - Mom was delighted.
- Truth. You look like a shepherd in it!
***
I ask my son (3 years 10 months): “Sasha, how many children do you want when you grow up?” “How much the wife hatches, so much will be ...”
***
On the bus, a man gave way to a woman. And I had the following dialogue with three year old daughter:
- Mom, why did uncle give up his seat?
- Because he's a man.
- Are the other uncles tired of being men?
You should have seen the proud face of a MAN!
***
Today my son (6 years old) came up and said:
- Life has no meaning.
I ask:
- Why?
Answer:
- Teeth fell out ... Who needs me now?
***
I feed Radu (2 years 8 months) from a spoon and I persuade:
- Well, let's go for mom, for Inna!
My daughter chewed for about five minutes, I told her again:
- Come on now for Lyuba!
Radmila, pointing at her still full mouth, says:
- Wait. There is also Inna.
***
Katya was 2 years old - a glorious period of ownership, when everything is "mine" - my pot, my dad, my toys, etc. Walking with dad in the yard. Dad teases her
- My tree!
- No, no, this is my tree!
- My shop!
- No, no, this is my shop!
- My hydroelectric power plant! - and waits for the daughter to react to a difficult and unfamiliar word.
Katya thought and thought, and carelessly, so, she answers:
- I don't need it!
***
Ilya (4 years old) stands at the door to the bathroom where his dad is taking a bath:
- Dad, what are you doing there?
- I'm basking.
- You're on the battery, right?
***
Anya, 4 years old, seeing newly born kittens:
- Oh, how pretty, they look so much like mice, only by the face and you will determine that they are people!
***
My sister was 4 years old. She listens for a long time to how mom and dad are arguing, and then she says: “Dad, do as you like, but only as mom said.”
***
Ksyusha, 5 years old
We get dressed, I tie a scarf for her.
- Don't tie it tight, I just ate!
***
From the life of our kindergarten. At a physical education lesson, the teacher says to Sasha (4 years old):
- Heels together, toes apart.
"I can't," Sasha said.
- Why?..
- I forgot what a “heel” is, and my mother took off washing my socks, and today I’m in pantyhose ...
***
I am gathering my son for a walk, putting on boots, to speed up the process I decided to help:
- Give me a leg.
The son raises his leg, it seems to me that it is not the right one. I say:
- Let's have another one!
He gives another. I understand that the first time he was right, again to him:
- Let's have another one!
The son looks around in surprise, throws up his hands and says:
- And no more!
***
My sister fell in kindergarten and hit her elbow. Gets in the car and says:
“I fell down today and didn’t cry at all!” Mom, I'm ready to give birth!
***
Dima (3 years 9 months) unwraps a candy.
- Dim, will you share with me?
- Not. I cant!
- Why?
With a happy look
- Because I'm a GREED!
- Is it good to be greedy?
- N-u-u ... - chewing candy: - not bad !!!
***
- Mom, what is this soup?
- Rassolnik. Eat.
- I don't feel cucumbers.
- Well, they're swimming.
I hear crying.
- What happened?
- They don't swim! They don't move at all!
***
We check the hearing with a doctor in the clinic. Whispering Doctor:
- Candy.
Seva (3 years old), also in a whisper:
- I can't - I'm allergic ...
***
The son (5 years old) took a bath, got out of the shower, and shouts: “Mom, I washed!”. Then it’s already quieter, looking in the mirror: “First, I washed myself, then I shaved, then I got married” - sighs - “So life will pass…»
***
The store gave change today and the five fell. I say to the little one:
- Bunny, pick it up, please.
Then a man nearby picks it up and gives it to me with the words:
- Of course, I'm not a bunny ...
Small, so, indignantly:
Why did you pick it up then?
***
In the morning we go to the stop, carry Vanya (3 years 3 months) in my arms:
- Mom, what is it?
- Wan, calm down, it's already hard for me!
- Mom, what is it?
- Van, leave me alone with your questions, let's sit in the minibus, ask.
- Mom, why didn't you put on my shoes !!!
***
The child brings an unfamiliar toy car from the kindergarten. I ask:
- Where did you get the machine from?
- And ... it was Vovka and I who exchanged ...
- Vovka gave you a typewriter, and what did you give him?
Thinking, he replies:
- On the neck gave ...
***
- Thea, what are you sculpting from plasticine, my girl, flower?
- Not.
Continues to sculpt a thin vertical stick.
- And what? tree?
- Not.
- And what is it?
- Bent reinforcement.
***
The family is waiting for an addition. Liza (5 years old) asks her mother:
- And why is your stomach getting bigger and bigger?
- I ate a watermelon, swallowed a seed, now it's growing in my stomach new watermelon! - Mom answers.
Lisa narrows her eyes and puts her hands on her hips:
- Aren't you pregnant, my dear?
***
I send my son (3 years old) to wash his hands before dinner. Stands and holds hands under running water. I say:
- My hands, three of them.
He looked at me like I was crazy.
- Two of them.
***
I ask Vityusha:
- Do you keep any animals at home?
Proudly replies:
- Hold on! A cat and frozen mackerel!..
Egor, 4 years old:
- Mom, what will I be when I grow up?
- And who do you want?
- The driver. What will dad be when he grows up?
So he's already grown up.
Child, puzzled:
- Already grown up? Why are we feeding him?
***
I ask my daughter (4.5 years):
- What do you play in the kindergarten?
Amelia:
- In "Let's Get Married!"
- And who came up with this game?
- Artyom.
- It's strange ... Usually boys play cars and soldiers, but Artyom came up with "Let's get married"?
Daughter is very serious:
- Well, yes ... Because a smart boy knows what girls need.
Call Natasha on the phone!
- Natasha is not there, what can I tell her?
Give her five roubles!
The patient came to the doctor:
- Doctor, you advised me to fall asleep, count to 100,000!
- Well, how did you fall asleep?
No, it's already morning! Sent by Yana Sukhoverkhova from Estonia, Pärnu on May 18, 2003
- Vasya! Does it bother you that you're left-handed?
- Not. Every person has their own shortcomings. Here you are, for example, with which hand do you stir the tea?
- Right!
- Here you see! BUT normal people stir with a spoon!
A psycho is walking down the street and dragging a thread behind him.
A passer-by asks him:
- Why are you dragging a thread behind you?
What should I push forward?
- I have a neighbor - a vampire was.
— How did you know that?
- And I drove an aspen stake into his chest, and he died.
"Boy, why are you crying so bitterly?"
- Due to rheumatism.
- What? So small, and you already have rheumatism?
- No, I got a deuce, because I wrote "rhyme" in the dictation!
— Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
- And the day after tomorrow?
"Petya, what are you laughing at?" Personally, I don't see anything funny!
- And you can’t see: after all, you sat on my sandwich with jam!
— Petya, how many excellent students are in your class?
“Not counting me, four.
- Are you an excellent student?
- Not. That's what I said - except for me!
Phone call in the teacher's room:
— Hello! Is this Anna Alekseevna? Tolya's mother says.
— Who-whom? I can't hear well!
- Tolya! I spell it out: Tatyana, Oleg, Leonid, Ivan, Kirill, Andrey!
- What? And all the kids are in my class?
In a drawing lesson, one student turns to a neighbor on the desk:
- You drew well! I've whetted my appetite!
— Appetite? From sunrise?
- Wow! I thought you drew an egg!
During the singing lesson, the teacher said:
Let's talk about opera today. Who knows what opera is?
Vovochka raised his hand:
- I know. This is when one person kills another in a duel, and he sings for a long time before falling!
The teacher handed out notebooks after checking the dictation.
Vovochka approaches the teacher with his notebook and asks:
“Maria Ivanovna, I didn’t understand what you wrote down here!
- I wrote: "Sidorov, write legibly!"
The teacher told the lesson about the great inventors. Then she asked the students:
- What would you like to invent?
One student said:
- I would invent such an automaton: press a button - and all the lessons are ready!
- Well, lazy! the teacher laughed.
Here Vovochka raised his hand and said:
- And I would come up with a device that would press this button!
Vovochka answers in a zoology lesson:
- The length of the crocodile from head to tail is 5 meters, and from tail to head - 7 meters ...
“Think about what you are saying,” the teacher interrupts Vovochka. - Is it possible?
“It happens,” Vovochka replies. - For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
— Vovochka, what do you want to be when you grow up?
— An ornithologist.
Is this the one who studies birds?
- Yeah. I want to cross a dove with a parrot.
- Why?
- And if suddenly the dove gets lost so that he can ask for the way home!
The teacher asks Vovochka:
What teeth are the last to appear in a person?
“Artificial,” answered Little Johnny.
Vovochka stops the car on the street:
- Uncle, take me to school!
- I'm going in the opposite direction.
- All the better!
- Dad, - says Little Johnny, - I have to tell you that tomorrow there will be a small meeting of students, parents and teachers at the school.
What does "small" mean?
“It’s just you, me, and the class teacher.
We wrote a dictation. When Alla Grigoryevna was checking notebooks, she turned to Antonov:
- Kolya, why are you so inattentive? I dictated: "The door creaked and opened." What did you write? "The door creaked and fell off!"
And everyone laughed!
“Vorobiev,” said the teacher, “you didn’t do your homework again!” Why?
— Igor Ivanovich, we had no electricity yesterday.
— And what were you doing? I suppose you watched TV?
Yeah, in the dark...
And everyone laughed!
A young teacher complains to her friend:
- One of my students completely tortured me: he makes noise, hooligans, disrupts lessons!
But he has at least one positive quality?
- Unfortunately, there is - he does not miss classes ...
On the lesson German language we passed the topic "My hobby". The teacher called Petya Grigoriev. He stood and was silent for a long time.
“I don’t hear an answer,” said Elena Alekseevna. — What is your hobby?
Then Petya said in German:
— Their bean briefmark! (I'm a postage stamp!)
And everyone laughed!
The lesson has begun. The teacher asked:
- Duty officer, who is missing from the class?
Pimenov looked around and said:
- Missing Mushkin.
At that moment, Mushkin's head appeared in the doorway:
I'm not absent, I'm here!
And everyone laughed!
It was a geometry lesson.
- Who solved the problem? asked Igor Petrovich.
Vasya Rybin was the first to raise his hand.
- Excellent, Rybin, - the teacher praised, - Please, to the blackboard!
Vasya went to the blackboard and said importantly:
Consider triangle ABCD!
And everyone laughed!
Why weren't you at school yesterday?
“My older brother is sick.
— And what about you?
And I rode his bike!
- Petrov, why are you teaching so badly English language?
- What for?
- What do you mean why? After all, this language is spoken by half the globe!
“And isn’t that enough?
- Petya, if you met old Hottabych, what wish would you ask him to fulfill?
— I would ask to make London the capital of France.
- Why?
- And I answered yesterday in geography and got a deuce! ..
- Well done, mitya. dad says. — How did you manage to get an A in zoology?
- They asked me how many legs an ostrich has and I answered - three.
“Wait, but an ostrich has two legs!”
— Yes, but all the others said four!
Petya was invited to visit. They tell him:
Petya, take another piece of cake.
Thanks, I've already eaten two pieces.
“Then eat a tangerine.”
Thanks, I've already eaten three tangerines.
“Then take some fruit with you.
Thanks, I already got it!
Cheburashka found a penny on the road. Comes to the store where they sell toys. He gives a penny to the saleswoman and says:
“Give me this toy, this one, and this one!”
The saleswoman looks at him in surprise.
- Well, what are you waiting for? Cheburashka says. - Let's change, and I went!
Vovochka with dad at the zoo are standing by the cage where the lion sits.
- Dad, - says Little Johnny, - and if a lion accidentally jumps out of the cage and eats you, which bus should I take home? ..
- Dad, - asks Little Johnny, - why don't you have a car?
— No money for a car. So don't be lazy, study better, become a good specialist and buy yourself a car.
- Dad, why were you lazy at school?
“Petya,” Dad asks, “why are you limping?”
“I put my foot in the mousetrap and got pinched.
Don't poke your nose where it doesn't belong!
— Grandpa, what are you doing with this bottle? Do you want to install a boat in it?
“That's exactly what I wanted at first. And now I would be glad to just pull my hand out of the bottle!
“Daddy,” the daughter turns to her father, “our phone works ugly!”
- And why did you decide so?
- Now I was talking with my girlfriend and did not understand anything.
Have you tried taking turns speaking?
“Mom,” asked Little Johnny, “how much toothpaste is in the tube?”
- I do not know.
- And I know: from the sofa to the door!
- Dad, get on the phone! Petya called to his father, who was shaving in front of the mirror.
When dad finished the conversation, Petya asked him:
Dad, are you good at remembering faces?
“I seem to remember. And what?
“The thing is, I accidentally broke your mirror…
- Dad, what is "telefigurotivization"?
- I do not know. Where did you read it?
I didn't read it, I wrote it!
- Natasha, why are you writing a letter to your grandmother so slowly?
- It's okay: after all, grandmother also reads slowly!
Anna, what have you done! You broke a vase that was two hundred years old!
What a blessing, Mom! I thought it was brand new!
- Mom, what is etiquette?
- This is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed ...
The art teacher says to Vovochka's father:
“Your son has exceptional abilities. Yesterday he drew a fly on the desk, and I even beat off my hand, trying to drive it away!
— What's that! Recently, he made a crocodile in the bathroom, and I got so scared that I tried to jump out through the door, which was also painted on the wall.
Vovochka says to his father:
- Dad, I decided to give you a present for your birthday!
- The best gift for me, - said dad, - is if you study for one five.
“Too late, dad, I already bought you a tie!”
A little boy is watching his dad at work, who is painting the ceiling.
Mom says:
- Look, Petya, and learn. And when you grow up, you will help dad.
Petya is surprised:
“What, he won’t have finished by then?”
The hostess, hiring a new maid, asked her:
“Tell me, dear, do you like parrots?”
— Oh, don't worry, madam, I eat everything!
An auction is taking place in the pet store - there is a sale of talking parrots. One of the buyers who bought the parrot asks the seller:
Does he really speak well?
- Still would! After all, he was always raising the price!
- Petya, what will you do if you are attacked by hooligans?
- I'm not afraid of them - I know judo, karate, aikedo and other scary words!
— Hello! Animal protecting community? In my yard, a postman sits on a tree and calls my poor dog names with various bad words!
The three bears return to their hut.
— Who touched my plate and ate my porridge?! Papa Bear growled.
Who touched my saucer and ate my porridge?! squeaked the little bear.
“Calm down,” said the mother bear. - There was no porridge: I didn’t cook it today!
One person caught a cold and decided to be treated by self-hypnosis. He stood in front of the mirror and began to suggest to himself:
- I won't sneeze, I won't sneeze, I won't sneeze... A-a-pchhi!!! It's not me, it's not me, it's not me...
“Mommy, why does daddy have so little hair on his head?”
- The fact is that our dad thinks a lot.
"Then why do you have such curly hair?"
- Dad, today the teacher told us about an insect that lives only one day. That's great!
- Why - "great"?
- Imagine, you can celebrate your birthday all your life!
One fisherman, a teacher by profession, caught a small catfish, admired it, and, throwing it back into the river, said:
“Go home and come tomorrow with your parents!”
Husband and wife came by car to visit. Leaving the car at the house, they tied the dog nearby and told her to guard the car. When they got ready to return home in the evening, they saw that all the wheels had been removed from the car. And a note was attached to the car: "Do not scold the dog, it was barking!"
One Englishman went into a bar with a dog and said to the visitors:
- I bet my talking dog now read Hamlet's monologue "To be or not to be!"
Alas, he immediately lost the bet. Because the dog didn't say a single word.
Coming out of the bar, the owner began to shout at the dog:
- Are you completely stupid? I lost a thousand pounds because of you!
"You're stupid," said the dog. “Don’t you understand that tomorrow in the same bar we can win ten times more!”
- You have a strange dog - she sleeps all day. How can she guard the house?
- It's very simple: when someone else approaches the house, we wake her up, and she starts barking.
The wolf is going to eat the hare. Hare says:
- Let's agree. I will give you three riddles. If you don't guess them, then you will let me go.
- I agree.
— A pair of black, shiny, with laces.
The wolf is silent.
- It's a pair of boots. Now the second riddle: four black, shiny, with laces.
The wolf is silent.
- Two pairs of boots. The third riddle is the most difficult: lives in a swamp, green, croaks, starts with "la", ends with "gushka".
The wolf shouts joyfully:
- Three pairs of boots!
Hanging on the ceiling the bats. All, as expected, heads down, and one - head up. Mice hanging in the neighborhood are talking:
Why is she hanging upside down?
And she does yoga!
The crow found a large piece of cheese. Then a fox suddenly jumped out from behind the bushes and gave the crow a slap on the back of the head. The cheese fell out, the fox immediately grabbed it and ran away.
Stunned crow with resentment says:
- Wow, the fable was reduced!
The out of breath director of the zoo comes running to the police station:
- For God's sake, help - an elephant ran away from us!
"Calm down, citizen," said the policeman. We'll find your elephant. Name special signs!
An owl flies and shouts:
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
Suddenly he hit a pole:
- Wow!
A Japanese schoolboy enters a company store that sells watches.
— Do you have a reliable alarm clock?
“There is nowhere safer,” the seller answers. - First, the siren turns on, then the artillery salvo is heard, and a glass is poured on your face cold water. If that doesn't work, the alarm will ring the school and let you know you've got the flu!
Guide: - in front of you is a rare exhibit of our museum - a beautiful statue of a Greek warrior. Unfortunately, he is missing an arm and a leg, and his head is damaged in some places. The title is "Winner".
Visitor: Great! I'd like to see what's left of the vanquished!
A foreign tourist who has arrived in Paris addresses a Frenchman:
- I come here for the fifth time, and I see that nothing has changed!
– What needs to change? he asks.
Tourist (pointing to the Eiffel Tower):
- In the end, did they find oil here, or not?
One secular lady asked Heine:
What do you need to do to learn to speak French?
- It's not difficult, - he answered, - just instead of German words, you need to use French.
In a history lesson in French school:
Who was the father of Louis XVI?
— Louis XV.
- Good. What about Charles VII?
— Charles the Sixth.
What about Francis the First? Well, what are you silent?
“Francis… Zero!”
In history class, the teacher said:
Today we will repeat old material. Natasha, ask Semyonov a question.
Natasha thought about it and asked:
What year was the War of 1812 in?
And everyone laughed.
Parents had no time, and Parent meeting grandfather went. He came to bad mood and immediately began to scold his grandson:
- Disgrace! It turns out that you have solid deuces in history! For example, I always had fives in this subject!
“Of course,” the grandson replied, “at the time when you were studying, the story was much shorter!
Baba Yaga asks Koshchei the Deathless:
How did you rest in new year holidays?
- He shot himself a couple of times, drowned himself three times, hanged himself once - in general, he had fun!
Winnie the Pooh congratulated the donkey on his birthday, and then says:
— Eeyore, you must be many years old?
- Why do you say that?
"Judging by your ears, you've been tugged at them a lot!"
The client enters the photo studio and asks the receptionist:
- I wonder why everyone is laughing in your photos?
— And you should have seen our photographer!
- What are you complaining about? the doctor asks the patient.
“You know, by the end of the day I just fall from fatigue.
— What do you do in the evenings?
- I play the violin.
- I recommend music lessons stop immediately!
When the patient left, the nurse asked the doctor in surprise:
- Ivan Petrovich, what does music lessons have to do with it?
- Absolutely nothing. It's just that this woman lives on the floor above me, and we have disgusting soundproofing!
- Yesterday I pulled out a pike weighing twenty kilograms from the hole!
- Can't be!
- That's it, I thought that no one would believe me, so I released it back ...
The summer resident addresses the owner of the dacha:
Could you lower the room rate a little?
- Yes, what are you? With such beautiful view on the birch grove!
“And if I promise you that I won’t look out the window?”
The millionaire shows his villa to the guest and says:
- And here I am going to build three pools: one with cold water, the second with warm water, and the third - completely without water.
- Without water? the guest is surprised. - Why?
The thing is, some of my friends can't swim...
At an art exhibition, one visitor asks another:
Do you think this picture depicts a sunrise or a sunset?
Of course, sunset.
- Why do you think so?
— I know this artist. He doesn't wake up before noon.
Buyer: I would like to buy some book.
Seller: - Do you want something light?
Buyer: It doesn't matter, I'm in a car!
An unknown young man set a world record in the 100 meters. The journalist is interviewing him:
— How did you do it? Have you practiced a lot in any sports club?
- No, in the shooting range. I work there to change targets...
- I recently school competitions ran two kilometers in one minute!
- You're lying! That's better than the world record!
Yes, but I know a shortcut!
It's great that we, adults, are sometimes pleasantly surprised by children's resourcefulness and naturalness. We are in the site we offer you a few minutes of joy while reading the following collection, shared by parents on the Internet.
Sonya (5 years):
- It's okay that I'm small, for that I have a big character!
*** *** ***
I play with the small one, picked it up and jump with it. Daughter (9 years):
- Mom, why are you jumping like a young?
*** *** ***
When songs based on Dementiev’s poems were performed in the program “Property of the Republic”, the grandmother says:
- I know: at the end the singer will sing " Swan fidelity». The sad song! I will cry.
Tanya:
- And it seems to me that the saddest one is “Apples in the Snow”. They lie, they lie, they freeze, everyone tramples on them ...
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
I take a persimmon out of the refrigerator on a saucer. The fruit is so overripe that a crack has passed from the top to the sepals and a little light juice has accumulated on the saucer. Taya carefully examines this still life and utters:
- A persimmon described itself ...
*** *** ***
Masha (5.5 years old) shouts to me from the room:
- Mother! Did you say something?
- Not.
Masha, sighing:
So this is my conscience.
*** *** ***
Dima has a birthday. Grandmother congratulates him and at the end of all wishes:
- ... well, Dimochka, be healthy!
- Yes, I did not sneeze!
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
We sit with the children (son is 12 years old, daughter is 5) in the kitchen, we have breakfast. Here I say:
- Oh, my leg is numb.
Here is the daughter with sincere curiosity:
- Show me, show me where she's gone!
My son and I nearly died laughing. And she was offended and went to her father to sneak:
- Dad, mom does not tell me where her leg is numb!
Here and dad, along with us, could not help laughing.
*** *** ***
Now all films, concerts and social events are assigned an age category of 0+, 6+...
Our children watch cartoons and often pay attention to these categories.
Niece (7 years old) whispers in her grandmother's ear, but loud enough so that everyone can hear:
- Grandmother, I saw a bottle in my grandfather's closet, it says "Cognac, 5 years old." This means that I can already try it, because I'm already 7!
*** *** ***
Dasha (3 years old) in Egypt jumps along the water's edge and talks to herself:
What is this, the Neva River?
And she answers herself:
- Well, what kind of river is the Neva? This, - with aspiration, - Egypt!
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
Tyoma (3 years):
- Grandfather, are you sitting with me today?
Grandfather, taking off his jacket, replies:
- Yes I.
Topic:
- Well, come in, I'll twist the ropes out of you.
*** *** ***
Daughter says:
The girls behaved very badly in kindergarten today.
- And what did they do?
- They stuck their heads between the bars of the fence during a walk.
- You didn't put it in, did you?
- No, I didn't get through.
*** *** ***
Dinochka says to dad:
- Until you solve my riddles, you won’t go to sleep!
*** *** ***
*** *** ***
Two sisters (3 and 7 years old) are fooling around. The older one is trying to pick up the younger one. I comment:
- Don't, it's hard, the navel will come out!
The youngest is right there with a serious look:
- Yes Yes! I saw in the kindergarten: a boy lifted something heavy, and his navel popped out. Now he's pissing from it!
*** *** ***
Last year, my son went to a nursery and one day Lyosha's mother asked mine:
- Bogdan, why did Lyosha bite Anya?
To which followed the logically iron answer:
Because he has teeth!
*** *** ***
Timokha (4 years):
Why are bears called teddy bears? Are they eating buns?
*** *** ***
Children's jokes about grandmothers.
Children's jokes about Winnie the Pooh and Piglet.
Children's jokes about Vovka and the parrot Kesha.
Children's jokes about Vovochka.
Children's jokes about the Wolf and the Hare.
Children's jokes about doctors.
Children's jokes about everything.
Children's jokes about Gena and Cheburashka.
Children's jokes about grandfathers.
Children's jokes about animals.
Children's jokes about the Kid and Carlson.
Children's jokes about mom.
Children's jokes about dad.
Children's jokes about Prostokvashino.
Children's jokes about school.
Children's jokes with the heroes of fairy tales.
The most-most children's jokes.
Funny jokes about kindergarten.
A man comes into the repair shop.
- Hello. Do you fix printers?
- Yes, we do. What about your printer?
- Yes, you know, I go to the site, I read jokes - it's funny. And I print them out on a printer - it's not funny.
Ad:
"I trade my sense of humor for something to laugh at."
Jokes and laughter.
Everyone knows that jokes make people laugh. Scientists have asked themselves the question: what is laughter. Here are the conclusions they came to.
It turns out that a smile or laughter is a special signal. Of all living creatures, only people know how to signal with laughter. With his smile, a person shows that he has good mood. Thus, laughter helps people communicate, get to know each other and make friends.
How does laughter come about? Scientists have not yet found an exact answer to this question, although they have been studying laughter for a long time. Scientific experiments have established that a person begins to laugh for no reason when exposed to certain areas of the cerebral cortex. But when we laugh, no one touches our brain! And usually we don't just laugh - we do it when we see or hear something funny, or just when we're in a good mood.
Although scientists do not know exactly why we start laughing, they have studied well how laughter is useful, and hence jokes.
Firstly, during laughter, numerous muscles of the face work hard. And it improves the movement of blood in the brain. Therefore, laughter improves thinking and memory.
Secondly, thanks to laughter, the work of the body's immune system improves. And this means that a person who laughs more often gets sick less often.
Thirdly, during laughter, special substances are produced in the human body - endorphins. They are also called hormones of happiness. Thanks to endorphins, good mood lasts longer.
Article from the children's magazine "Fidget".
About jokes.
Who doesn't like to listen and tell funny jokes, short funny stories. Here you will find humorous school dialogues, funny stories from life, various jokes.
Our children's jokes will decorate any company, holiday. With their help, you will always be able to cheer up friends and relatives, giving them joy and a smile.
List of used literature:
1. Children's magazine"Fidget".
2. Children's magazine "Mickey Mouse".
3. Children's magazine "Classy".
4. Funny magazine about animals "Toshka".
5. "Funny school stories and anecdotes." Compiled by Galina Petrovna Shilova. 6. "Jokes with cartoon characters". Edited by Alexander Alir.
7. "Jokes with the heroes of fairy tales." Chief Editor and artist Alexander Alir.
8. 2. Children's magazine "Misha".
