Great and wise, brave and loving, bold and romantic. The one who instills freedom, love for
life, confidence in your own path. So easy and hard at the same time! "Smile, Lord, smile!"
The following are quotations from movie "The same Munchausen!", in which Oleg Yankovsky, in my opinion, indescribably introduced us to the baron.
- - The truth is that this moment considered true...
- - So you say - hunting ...
- I speak?
- Well, don't talk, think. - - You say that a person can lift himself by the hair?
- Necessarily! thinking man just gotta do it from time to time. - - Mr. Baron has been expecting you for a long time. He has been working in the office since morning, locked himself up and asks: “Thomas,” he says, “has Mr. Pastor arrived yet?” I say, "Not yet." He says, "Well, thank God." Very much waiting for you.
- - And when the bear rushed at him, Mr. Baron grabbed him by the front paws and held him until he died.
- What did he die of?
- From hunger. The bear, as you know, eats what sucks its paw, and since the lord baron deprived him of this opportunity ...
“And what do you believe in all this?”
- Certainly. You yourself saw how thin he is.
- Who?
- Bear.
- What bear?
- Whom you saw. - - Frau Marta, I didn't hear: what time is it?
- The clock struck 3, the baron - 2, so only 5. - Are you waiting for me, dear? Sorry, Newton kept me.
- Let's hit through the chimney.
- - Got it. Duck! With apples. She seems to be well fried.
- She, it seems, and poured sauce on the way.
- Yes? How sweet of her! - She ran away from me two years ago.
“To tell you the truth, Baron, I would have done the same in her place.
- That's why I'm not marrying you, but Martha. - - Unfortunately, with a living wife, you cannot marry again.
- While alive? Are you suggesting we kill her?
- God bless you, baron! - “But you allow kings to divorce.
- Well, the kings in special occasions, as an exception, when it is necessary, say, for procreation.
- To continue the race, you need something completely different. - - The Church must bless love!
- Legal!
- Any love is legal if it is love!
- It's just your way!
- What do you recommend?
- There is nothing to advise here: live as you lived. Only according to civil and church laws, the wife who is no longer your wife will still be considered your wife! - - I was told - clever man.
- Well, you never know what they talk about a person! - - Well, do not change me because of every idiot!
- - Be like everyone else, Carl! I'm begging!
- As everybody? What are you saying? Like everyone else ... Do not fly on cannonballs, do not hunt mammoths, do not correspond with Shakespeare ... - - What are you yelling at night?
- Is it night?
- Night.
- And how long?
- Since the evening. - - I wanted to say, the duck is ready.
Let her go. Let it fly.
- - Do you want to hang this daub in the house?
- Why is she bothering you?
- She makes me angry! Chop her to pieces!
- Do not dare! He claims that this is the work of Rembrandt
- Whom?
- Rembrandt
- Lies
- Of course it's a lie, but the auctioneers are offering six thousand for it.
- Six? So sell
- To sell means to admit that it is true. - - Challenge your father to a duel.
- Never!
- But why?
- Firstly, he will kill me, and secondly ...
- And the first is enough. - - I'm already 19 years old, and I'm just a cornet! And no perspective! I was not even allowed to maneuver!
- Manyo-yovry!
- They were not allowed to go to the maneuvers! The colonel said that he generally refused to accept reports from Baron Munchausen. - - Baroness, how does this Amazon costume suit you! Ramkopf, you are charming as always! How are you, cornet? I see it's good!
- Judging by the abundance of compliments, you again have bad news. - - A man destroyed a family, drove his wife and child out of the house!
- What a child! I am an officer!
- Kicked out his wife with an officer! - You have a mistress - to health! Now everyone has mistresses. But they must not be allowed to marry. It is immoral!
- - But is it a fact?
- No, it's not a fact.
- Isn't that a fact?
- No, it's not a fact. This is much more than a fact. So it really was. - Being in some nervous overexcitation, the duke suddenly grabbed and signed several petitions for divorce with the words: “Free, everyone free!”
- Yes, we played it. Duel! Mr Ramkopf, you old friend our family, you do a lot for us. Do one more.
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Be my second.
- Never!
- But why?
- Firstly, he will kill the second ...
- Yes.
- Murderer! - “Your highness, maybe it’s all about our left wing?” It is unreliable.
- The center worries me too...
- Maybe, in this case, it is still worth raising the top from above and lowering the bottom from below?
- Let's do that! Two rows of darts on the left, two on the right. The whole solution is in the waist! Where do you think we will make the waist? At chest level!
- Brilliant! Brilliant, like everything is true.
- Exactly at chest level. Sixty six. I will not allow you to lower the waistline to the hips. One hundred fifty five. In the end, we are the center of Europe, I will not allow all the Spaniards there to dictate terms to us. If you want a detachable sleeve - please. If you want a pleated skirt with darts, I accept that too. But I will not let you lower the waistline! - - Get up at 6 am!
- Unpunished. - - from 8 to 10 - a feat.
- what does it mean?
- This means that from 8 to 10 in the morning he has a feat planned. Well, what do you say, Mr. Burgomaster, about a man who sets out daily for a feat, as if for a service?
- I serve myself, ma'am. Every day at nine in the morning I have to go to my magistrate. I will not say that this is a feat, but in general there is something heroic in this. - Lord, why didn't England please him?!
- War is not poker! It can not be announced when you want! War is... war!
- - Do we leave the chest in place?
- No, we take it with us! - - Where is my military uniform?
“Please, Your Highness, please!”
- What-about?? Me - in this? Single-breasted? What are you? Don't you know that no one is fighting in a single-breasted one now? Ugliness! War is on the doorstep, and we are not ready! No, we are not ready for war! - - Gentlemen officers, let's check the clock! How many now?
- 15:00!
- 15 and a quarter!
- And more precisely?
- Plus 22! - - Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus von Munchausen! You have been ordered to arrest. In case of resistance ordered to use force.
- To whom?
- What to whom?
- Whom to use force in case of resistance, you or me?
- Didn't understand…
- So, maybe send a messenger to ask again?
- This is impossible.
- Right. We will both follow orders. Is it logical?
- Uh-uh...
- And this is good. One minute. So this is how it's done. To the side, gentlemen! You leave altogether. And, of course, dancing! Still a tractor. - It's all right, Your Highness. Baron Munchausen will be arrested any minute. He asked me to pass on so that they would not disperse.
- - He went into the woods without a gun.
- In what sense without a gun?
- Well, in the sense of a bear.
- Not a bear, but a mammoth. But he was shooting from a gun.
- From a gun?
- Yes. A bone from a cherry.
- Cherries!
- He shot, firstly, not cherries, but currants. As they flew over his house.
- The Bears?
- Well, not mammoths!
- And why then did all this grow in a deer? - - What is this?
- Arrested.
- Why an orchestra?
“Your Highness, the celebrations were planned first. Then the arrests. Then we decided to combine.
- And where is our guard? Where is the guard?
- Obviously, bypasses from the flanks.
- Whom?
- Everyone! - - Your Highness, well, do not go against your conscience. I know you noble man and in my heart, too, against England.
- Yes, in my heart I'm against it. Yes, I don't like her. But I sit and keep quiet! - - No, it's not a duke, it's a rag!
- Madame, what do you want from him? England has surrendered! - Why is the war going on? Do they not read newspapers?
- Remembered! He really shot a deer! But through the chimney! - - Have you forgotten that in half an hour the divorce proceedings will begin?
- It started a long time ago. Since I saw you. - Divorce is disgusting not only because it separates the spouses, but also because the man is called free, and the woman abandoned.
- - What is it about?
- Baron hides.
- And what does he say?
- It is clear that: "scoundrel", he says, "crazy crazy, unfortunate liar" ...
- And what does he want?
- It's clear what: so as not to quit.
- Logically. - - Carl, why so late?
- In my opinion, it's too early: not all nonsense has yet been said. - - How so: for 20 years everything was fine, and suddenly such a tragedy.
- Sorry, Mr. Judge, the tragedy lasted 20 years, and only now everything should be fine. It was a difficult 20 years, but I do not regret them! - There are couples made for love, we were made for divorce.
- Jacobina did not love me from childhood and, to her credit, managed to evoke response feelings in me. In the church, when the priest asked if we wanted to become husband and wife, we unanimously answered: “No!” - and we were immediately married. After the wedding, my wife and I left for Honeymoon: I'm in Turkey, she's in Switzerland. And for three years they lived there in love and harmony.
- I protest! You insult my client!
- You can't offend with the truth, dear lawyer! - It only takes a minute to fall in love. To get a divorce, sometimes you have to live 20 years together.
- At one time, Socrates once told me: “Marry by all means. get caught good wife- you will become happy, bad - you will become a philosopher. I don't know which is better.
- And long live the divorce, gentlemen! It eliminates the lies that I hate so much!
- Give in, Lord! You've already endured so much... well, be patient a little more!
- Thomas, are you happy that we have May 32?
“Not really, Mr. Baron. On the first of June I get paid. - - Are you excited about the new day?
- Look at what falls. If it's Sunday, then it's a shame. And if on Monday - well, why do we need two Mondays? - Lord, why didn't you marry Joan of Arc? She did agree.
- But I told the truth!
- To hell with it, with the truth! Sometimes you need to lie. You know, lie! Lord, I have to explain such obvious things to Baron Munchausen! - - Well that's just wonderful! And don't be so tragic, my dear. Look at it with your usual humor... With humor!.. In the end, Galileo also denied us.
- Therefore, I always loved Giordano Bruno more ... - - Don't complicate things, baron. Secretly you can believe.
- I can't secretly. I can only openly. - Since no one needs an extra day of spring, let's forget about it. On such a day it is difficult to live, but it is easy to die.
- I wasn't afraid to be funny. Not everyone can afford it.
- What if you don't be afraid...
- Eliminate! Or... get closer?
- Connect! - From Munchausen, gentlemen, we will not pour water! No need. He is dear to us just like Munchausen ... like Carl Friedrich Hieronymus ... and whether his horse drinks or does not drink - this does not bother us.
- I'm scared to remember. I dreamed of a duel with my father. I wanted to kill him... We all killed him... Assassins!!!
- - How about carnations?
- Two thalers!
- How about two thalers? They are lethargic!
- Sluggish. Ha ha ha! Our baron, while he was alive, was also valued cheaply. And withered - became dear to everyone! - - In Germany, having the surname Müller is like not having any.
- You're all kidding...
- Quit a long time ago. Doctors forbid.
- Since when did you start going to the doctors?
- Immediately after death. - - And they say that humor is useful. The joke, they say, prolongs life.
- Not everyone. To the one who laughs, it prolongs, and to the one who is sharp, it shortens. - - Good boy?
- 12 kilograms.
- Runs?
- For what? Walks.
- Chatting?
- Silent.
- Smart boy, will go far. - My funeral alone gave me more money than my entire previous life.
- Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Are you trying to ruin our holiday?
- - Today at midnight at the monument.
- At the monument. To whom?
- To me. - - You're dead!
- Died! - - For the fourth time we drive this boar past His Highness, and His Highness, excuse the expression, smears and smears! Will you order to drive away the fifth time?
- No! Uncomfortable. He already remembered him by sight.
- Who will win?
- Duke of the Boar! - Do what you want, but so that in half an hour it will be dry in the forest, light and a bear!
- - By the way, Baron, I have long wanted to ask you: where did you, in fact, get the bears?
- I don't remember. I think it's in the forest.
- No, this is impossible. They haven't been with us for a long time. - So, gentlemen, I have invited you to inform you most unpleasant news. Damn, that's a great opening line for a play. Someone will have to offer.
- - This is not my adventure, this is not my life. She is smoothed, combed, powdered and castrated!
- Ordinary editorial editing.
- Dear Jacobina, you know me: when they cut me, I endure, but when they supplement, it becomes unbearable. - - And you have changed a lot during this time, Mr. Burgomaster.
- You didn't do it for nothing. - Frau Marta, we are in trouble: the baron has risen! There will be trouble!
- I hate! All! Duel! Shoot here! Through a scarf!
- I'm on duty. If they decide that you are Munchausen, I will fall on your chest. If they decide that you are Mueller, I will put you in jail. That's all I can do for you.
- Lord, do you really need to kill a person to understand that he is alive?!
- And my advice to you: do not rush to become Munchausen's widow. This place is currently occupied.
- - You face jail time.
- Wonderful place! Here next to me is Ovid, Cervantes… We will be tapping. - - Do you really think that he will fly?
- To the moon, of course!
- You can't even see her.
- When you can see, so the fool will fly. The Baron likes to make it harder. - - Well, let's confess.
- I did it all my life. But no one believed me.
- I beg you, lighten your soul.
- It happened by itself, pastor. I had a friend - he betrayed me. I had a favorite - she denied. I'm flying light. - - Well, say something goodbye!
- What to say?
- Think. There is always something important for such a moment.
- I ... I'll be waiting for you!
- Not that!
- I ... I love you very much!
- Not that!
- I'll be faithful to you!
- No need!
- They put raw gunpowder, Carl! They want to stop you!
- Here. - The pharmacist's daughter - she is the pharmacist's daughter!
- Now I will fly away, and we are unlikely to see each other. But when I return, next time, you will be gone. The fact is that time in heaven and on earth flies differently: there - moments, here - centuries.
- Lord, how tired of dying!
- - Where is the commander?
- In command! - Join, Mr. Baron. Join.
- Yes, understand, Baron Munchausen is famous not for flying or not flying, but for not lying.
- - When I return, let it be six o'clock.
- Six in the evening or six in the morning?
- Six days! - I understand what your trouble is: you are too serious. A smart face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All the stupid things on earth are done with this facial expression. Smile, gentlemen. Smile!
- It cannot be that one intelligent person does not understand another ...
I understand what your trouble is: you are too serious! A smart face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All the stupid things on earth are done with this facial expression. Smile, gentlemen! Smile!
"The same Munchausen" is a 1979 Soviet feature television film, filmed at the Mosfilm studio by order Central Television THE USSR. The script by Grigory Gorin was created based on the distant motives of the works of Rudolf Erich Raspe, dedicated to the adventures of Baron Munchausen. One of the most important works in the work of Mark Zakharov and Oleg Yankovsky. The film premiered on January 1, 1980 at the USSR Central Television.
Initial literary material Grigory Gorin's play "The Most Truthful" served as the script, which was successfully staged in the theater Soviet army(Munchausen - Vladimir Zeldin). Mark Zakharov liked the performance and decided to transfer it to the television screen. In the course of working on the script, the play was seriously revised and changed a lot compared to the theatrical version. Alexei Rybnikov's music was also originally written for the play.
Oleg Yankovsky, who has just starred as the Wizard in the film " Ordinary miracle", according to the director, was quite suitable for the role of Munchausen. However, Mark Zakharov had to convince the artistic council of the film studio for quite some time. Prior to this, Yankovsky's role was considered to be more in line with heroic roles. In addition, the image of the baron that developed from the book and the play corresponded to an elderly man with an adult son. Yankovsky, at the time of the start of filming, was only 35 years old. As a result, the director managed to defend his point of view.
The backbone of the ensemble cast was the troupe of the Lenkom Theatre. Leonid Armor was accepted for the role without audition. For the role of Theophilus, the actor of the Satire Theater Yuri Vasilyev originally auditioned, but Leonid Yarmolnik was approved. Some difficulties arose with the role of Martha. Initially, Tatyana Dogileva, Irina Mazurkevich and other actresses auditioned for the role. After a long search, the creators of the picture were satisfied with the candidacy of Elena Koreneva.
The film was shot in Germany, in the socialist part of it - the GDR. It was much easier to organize filming on the territory of the friendly socialist GDR, so film set became the streets of the city of Wernigerode, which had an "authentic" look and practically did not suffer during the war.
German actors and townspeople took part in the extras and episodes. In particular, in the very first scene, apart from Yankovsky and Katin-Yartsev, the rest of the hunters were Germans. This is noticeable, among other things, in the German articulation, which does not coincide with the Russian voicing.
Unlike Zakharov's other works, the film passed censorship barriers relatively easily. Only one scene was cut out - where the hunters study the works of Baron Munchausen.
The real Baron Munchausen was married to the Livonian noblewoman Jacobine von Dunten. They lived together from 1744 until Jacobina's death in 1790. They didn't have children. After 4 years, Munchausen married 17-year-old Bernardine von Brun, who led an extremely wasteful and frivolous lifestyle and soon gave birth to a daughter, whom the 75-year-old Munchausen did not recognize. Munchausen started a scandalous and expensive divorce proceedings, as a result of which he went bankrupt, and his wife fled abroad.
In the 1990s, part of the pastor's dialogue with Munchausen was removed from the first series of the film. After Munchausen's words, "Are you, a minister of the church, suggesting that I live a lie?" now it is shown how the pastor is leaving in a cart. Earlier, after the aforementioned phrase of Munchausen, a conversation continued between him and the pastor, in which, in particular, there was such a phrase of the pastor: “I read ... your book ... What nonsense you wrote there!”. The Baron replies: "I read yours - it's no better." Pastor: "What?" Baron: "The Bible."
Oleg Yankovsky unwittingly changed the essence of the text spoken by his hero in the final scene. In the original script, the famous phrase of Baron Munchausen sounded like this: "A serious face is not yet a sign of intelligence, all the stupid things on earth are done with just such a facial expression." But when voicing the film, Yankovsky made a reservation, saying: A smart face is not yet a sign of intelligence. In this form, the phrase, despite the protests of Grigory Gorin, remained in the film.
The plot mentions the recognition of US independence. According to the chronology of the plot of the film, this happened in 1779. In fact, Great Britain recognized the independence of the United States on September 3, 1783.
The Duke, according to the plot of the film, is most fond of cutting and sewing in his life, in one of the plots of the first series he scribbles on a sewing machine. IN late XVIII century machines of this type did not yet exist, they appeared about half a century later.
May 32
Composer Alexander Pitersky, a few days after the death of Oleg Yankovsky in May 2009, posted a composition dedicated to the actor and entitled "May 32, 1783" for free access. The name is a reference to the date of the "investigative experiment" that ends the film "The Same Munchausen", where Yankovsky played the main role.
Every year the Baron Munchausen Museum celebrates the offensive on 32 May.
In 2010, the human rights film festival "May 32" was held in St. Petersburg.
Prizes and awards
1980 - ITF "Golden Prague" in Prague, Jury Prize for Journalists, Prize for Directing (Mark Zakharov)
1981 - WTF Prize "For high skill and original creative search" (Mark Zakharov)
All quotes and catchphrases from the movie "The Same Munchausen"
- It was necessary to choose one of two things: to die or to be saved somehow.
- Well, what did you choose?
- Guess.
- And my hand, thank God, is strong, and my head, thank God, is thinking!
- Are you saying that a person can lift himself by his hair?
- Necessarily. A thinking person is simply obliged to do this from time to time.
- How, cherry tree?
- Tree? On the head of a deer? Say better - cherry orchard!
- If a garden grew, I would say - a garden. And since the tree has grown, why should I lie?
- Of course, we all know how to pull. Hanging handle, why not pull?
- Mister Baron has been expecting you for a long time. He has been working in the office since morning.
He locked himself and asked: "Thomas, he says, hasn't Mr. Pastor arrived yet?"
I say, "Not yet." He says, "Well, thank God." Very much waiting for you.
- Mr. Baron once went to the forest to hunt.
The bear rushed at him. And since Monsieur Baron was without a gun... - Why was he without a gun?
- I'm telling you, he went hunting.
- Thomas, look, are they flying? A?
- Fly, Mr. Baron! Now they will fly over our house.
- Let's hit through the chimney.
- Well, how?
- She seems to have spilled the sauce along the way.
- Yes? How nice of her.
- So. Unfortunately, Baron, I can't help you.
- Why?
- Because with a living wife, you cannot marry again.
- Are you talking about live?
- When alive.
- Are you suggesting we kill her?
- God! God bless you, baron!
- Maybe you shouldn't have started with Sophocles? And with the duck, this time you also overdid it.
- I wanted to cheer him up. They told me: a smart person.
- Well, you never know what they talk about a person.
- Mr. Ramkopf, you are a friend of our family, you do a lot for us. Take one more step!
- Everything in my power.
- Challenge your father to a duel.
- Never.
- But why?
- Well, first of all, he's going to kill me. And secondly...
- The first is enough. Calm down Feo.
- Judging by the abundance of compliments, you returned with bad news?
- No reason? The man destroyed the family, drove his wife and child out into the street.
- What kind of child? I am an officer!
- Kicked out his wife with an officer.
- But is it a fact?
- No, this is not a fact.
- Is this not a fact?
- No, this is not a fact. This is much more than a fact. So it really was.
- The fact is that our adored Duke in Lately was in some confrontation with our adored duchess.
- And what?
- Terrible boy. All in the father.
- Oh well. They say she caught him with some lady-in-waiting. It was terrible! It was...
- And what?
- Being in some nervous overexcitation, the duke suddenly grabbed and signed
several divorce petitions with the words "Free! Free everyone!"
- The whole solution is in the waist. Where do you think we will make the waist?
At chest level. - Brilliant!
- Brilliant, like everything true.
- I will not allow you to lower the waistline to the hips. 155.
After all, we are the center of Europe.
I will not let any Spaniards dictate terms to us.
If you want a detachable sleeve - please.
Do you want a pleated skirt with darts? I accept this too.
But I will not let you lower the waistline.
- "The daily routine of Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus von Munchausen
on May 30, 1779." - Curious.
- Very.
- "Wake up at 6 am."
- Not punishable.
- "From 8 am to 10 - a feat."
- What does it mean?
- This means that from 8 to 10 in the morning he has a feat planned. Well? What would you say, burgomaster, about a man who sets out every day for a heroic deed, as if for service?
- I serve myself, sir.
Every day at nine in the morning I have to go to my magistrate.
I won't say it's a feat. But in general there is something heroic in it.
- Gentlemen, we have come to a very interesting point. "16:00 - war with England."
- With whom?!
- With England.
- Lord, why didn't England please him?
- Where is she? Where, I ask you?
- England.
- Recall all retired to the reserve. Cancel holidays.
Guard to build on the central square. Dress code - summer, full dress.
Blue uniforms with gold trim. The sleeve is sewn in. The lapels are wide.
The waist is 10 cm lower than in peacetime. - Below?
- That is higher.
- And the chest?
- What, chest?
- Do we leave it in place?
- No, we take it with us.
- Can't one be arrested? the only person? The horse is tired!
- It's all right, Your Highness. Baron Munchausen will be arrested any minute. He asked me to pass on so that they would not disperse.
- What else is this?
- Arrested.
- Why with an orchestra?
- Your highness, first there were celebrations, then arrests. Then we decided to combine.
- Where are our guards? Where is the guard?
- Obviously outflanked.
- Whom?
- Everyone.
- Give up the sword.
- Your highness, do not go against your conscience.
I know you are a noble man, and in your heart you are also against England. - Yes, in my heart I'm against it. Yes, I don't like her... Yes.
But I sit and keep quiet. War is...
- Why is the war going on? Do they not read newspapers?
- My husband gentlemen a dangerous person! 20 years of my life is given to him!
For 20 years I pacified him. I kept him within the boundaries of family life.
And in doing so, she saved a life. your life. The life of society from him!...
It's not scary that I'm abandoned. Not scary.
It's scary that he's free!
- What is she talking about?
- Baron covers.
- And what does he say?
- Clearly, the scoundrel says. Crazy crazy, unfortunate liar.
- And what does he want?
- It is clear what, so as not to throw.
- Logically.
- There are couples made for love. We were created for divorce.
- Jacobina did not love me from childhood and, to her credit, managed to evoke response feelings in me.
In the church, when asked by the priest whether we want to become husband and wife, we unanimously answered "no", and we were immediately married.
After the wedding, my wife and I went on our honeymoon trip.
I - to Turkey, she - to Switzerland, and for three years they lived there in love and harmony.
- Great God, make it all right.
Help us Lord. We love each other so much.
And don't be mad at Carl, God.
He is impudent, he is often ready to argue with you, but you, Lord, are older, you are wiser.
You must give in. Give in, sir.
You've been through so much already. Well, hold on a little longer.
- Baron, are you man of sense. I have always treated you with sympathy.
I respected your way of thinking. Loose shoulder line, tapered pantaloons.
- And may the monument that we erect in his honor become a symbol...
- Well, let it become not only a symbol.
- Better.
- Let it become not only a symbol of the city's selfless love for its citizen...
- Better to say: "To your great son."
- Better. Let it become a source of courage, courage, a spring of life-giving optimism that will never stop beating...
- Better to say flow.
- But the spring, it beats.
- Sometimes it hits, and sometimes it flows. In this case, it is better that it flow.
- What time is it, Thomas?
- The clock struck 3, the baron fell at 2, so it was only an hour.
- What are you talking about? Add 3 plus 2.
- It used to have to be added, but now it's better to subtract.
- Too bad it's only half. And what if you are not afraid and ...
- Eliminate.
- Or get closer?
- Connect.
Here... It's even funnier. - Much. And immediately the water will flow.
- Where will we pour water from? From what place?
- From Munchausen, gentlemen, we will not pour water. No need.
He is dear to us just like Munchausen. Like Carl Friedrich Hieronymus.
And whether his horse drinks or does not drink - this does not bother us. - Not in the desert.
- Are you all kidding?
- Quit a long time ago. Doctors forbid.
- Since when did you start going to the doctor?
- Immediately after death.
- Good boy?
- 12 kilograms.
- Runs?
- For what? Walks.
- Chatting?
- Silent.
- Smart boy, will go far.
- Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Are you trying to ruin our holiday?
- Let's talk another time.
- Fine. Today at midnight at the monument.
- At the monument. To whom?
- Mister burgomaster! His Highness the Duke missed again!
For the fourth time we drive this boar past his highness, and his highness, pardon the expression, smears and smears. Will you order to drive away for the fifth time? - No. Uncomfortable. He already remembered him by sight.
- Who will win?
- Duke of the Boar.
- No, well, they came, huh? We've come! We steal bears from gypsies!
But they were, they were ... Literally the birthplace of bears.
- Martha left me.
- She went crazy. Ungrateful, motherfucker. Cook. She thinks it's easy to be the mistress of such a person.
Bastard. We will return it. - It's not scary. Really. We will persuade her.
- Here are the facts: an extract from the church book, a certificate of the death of the baron, a receipt for the coffin.
It would seem that there is more than enough evidence.
However, the defendant continues to persist!
Taking advantage of his outward resemblance to the late baron, insidiously mastering his gait, voice, and even fingerprints, the defendant naively hopes to deceive us and force us to recognize in ourselves our dear baron, whom we solemnly saw off three years ago!
- Frau Martha, Frau Martha! Frau Marta, we are in trouble, the baron has risen.
There will be trouble, Frau Martha.
- If a person wants to tell the truth, he has the right to do so.
I would just like to know what truth you mean? - True one!
- There is no truth at all.
Yes. The truth is what is currently considered the truth.
- God! Do you really need to kill a person to understand that he is alive!
- Well said. Very. But we have no choice.
- Mr pastor, Mr pastor!
- Ask to be let through!
- I picked up some things for him here. Still, the path is not close.
- What, do you really think that he will fly?
- To the moon? Certainly.
- She is not even visible.
- When it is visible, so the fool will fly. The Baron likes to make it harder.
- Amazing.
- What, your highness?
- I say, it is amazing how our people harmonize with nature.
- ABOUT! I will remember it.
- You write it down.
- Well, won't there be anything like that that isn't needed?
- What are you, your highness. Everything will go according to plan. After the overture - interrogations.
After - the last word defendant, volleys, general fun, dancing.
- Why can't you hear? I don't understand what they are talking about.
- Your highness, the defendant thanks the city authorities and, as it were, jokes with his beloved.
- Fine. Especially the lace collar and front tuck suit him very well.
And in general, he looks like the deceased.
- Well... Let's confess.
- I did this all my life, but no one believed me.
- Please lighten your soul.
- It just happened, pastor. I had a friend. He betrayed me.
I had a favorite. She recanted. I'm flying light. - Rough. How we still love ... Always would ... This is not the main thing.
- They put raw gunpowder, Carl! They want to stop you, Carl!
- Where is the commander?
- Commands.
- I don't understand anything anymore. So is he or isn't he?
- Can't wait 2 minutes?
- Well, maybe we were all wrong about something here ...
- Gentlemen, by the decision of the Hanoverian court in connection with the successful completion of the experiment...
- Since everything has turned out this way, so let it go as it goes ...
- It is ordered, by the Highest command, it is ordered to consider the defendant as Baron Munchausen!
- And here some began to allow themselves to sew on patch pockets and trim the sleeve - we will not allow this.
- Heartiest congratulations!
- But with what?!
- Happy return from the moon!
- Not true! This time I was not on the moon!
- How was it not, when there is already a solution, what was?
- Feel free to join...
- Join, baron. Join.
- Yes, understand!
Baron Munchausen is not famous for flying or not flying.
And those that do not lie.
- Thomas, go home! Prepare dinner! When I return, let it be 6 o'clock!
- 6pm or 6am?
- 6 days.
- I understand what your problem is. You are too serious.
A smart face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen.
All the stupid things on earth are done with this facial expression.
Smile, gentlemen, smile.
- Where are our guards?
- Obviously, bypasses from the flanks.
- Whom?
- Everyone! - - And they said - such a smart person!
Well, what do people say... - - Is it night?
- Night.
- And how long?
- Since the evening. - Baron Munchausen will be arrested any minute! He asked me to pass on so that they would not disperse.
- Baron Munchausen is famous not because he flew to the moon. He is famous for never lying.
- - Runs?
- For what? Walks.
- Chatting?
- Silent.
- Smart boy, will go far. - - He left his wife and child!
- I'm not a child, I'm an officer!
- Left his wife with an officer! - Let's hit through the chimney
- Being in some nervous excitement, the duke suddenly grabbed and signed several petitions for divorce with the words: “Free, everyone free!”
- - At midnight at the monument.
- To whom?
- To me. - In Germany, having the last name Müller is like not having any.
- War is not poker! You can't announce it whenever you like.
- At one time, Socrates told me: "Get married. If you get a good wife, you will become happy. If you get a bad wife, you will become a philosopher." It is not yet known which is better.
- To get up so early for people of our circle is unnatural - but ... not punishable ...
- To the side, please. You leave altogether.
- On such a day it is difficult to live, but it is easy to die.
- - You allow kings to divorce.
- Well, kings, in special cases, as an exception, when it is necessary, say, for procreation.
- To continue the race, you need something completely different. - - You say that a person can lift himself by the hair?
- Necessarily! A thinking person is simply obliged to do this from time to time. - - Where is the commander?
- In command! - - They say that humor prolongs life ...
- This is for those who laugh, prolongs life, and for those who are sharp - shortens. - Lord, do you really need to kill a person to understand that he is alive?!
- Lord, why didn't England please him?!
- - Mr. Baron has already asked about you three times: “He didn’t come, he says, Mr. Pastor?” No, I say, I didn’t come ... “Well, thank God, he says.” Very much waiting for you!
- Long live divorce! It eliminates the lies that I hate so much!
- Do what you want, but so that in half an hour it will be light, dry and bear in the forest!
- Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Are you trying to ruin our holiday?
- - As everybody? Do not fly on cores? Do not hunt mammoths? Do not correspond with Shakespeare?
- - To me? Single breasted uniform? Do you know that no one fights in a single-breasted one? We are not ready for war!
- I'm 19 years old and I'm just a cornet. And no prospects!
- My best friend betrayed me, my beloved renounced. I'm flying light.
- We were sincere in our delusions!
- We have forgotten how to do little stupid things. We stopped climbing out the window to our beloved women ...
- Some couples are made for love, we were made for divorce.
- - But it's a fact!
- No, it's not a fact.
- Isn't that a fact?
- No, it's not a fact. This is much more than a fact. So it really was. - - Don't complicate things, Baron... Secretly you can believe.
- I can't secretly. I can only openly. - Is it really necessary to kill a person to understand that he is alive?
- - Well, that's nice ... And don't be so tragic, my dear ... In the end, Galileo also renounced!
- That's why I always liked Giordano Bruno more. - Well, do not change me because of every idiot!
- - Well, sir... let's confess
- I've been doing this all my life. - Well, what do you want - England surrendered ...
- - Explain to the court why everything was fine for 20 years, and, suddenly, such a tragedy?
- Sorry, Mr. Judge, the tragedy lasted twenty years and only now everything should be fine! - She ran away from me two years ago.
“Honestly, I would have done that too.
That's why I'm not marrying you... - After the wedding, we immediately left for our honeymoon. I went to Turkey, my wife went to Switzerland, and we lived there for three years in love and harmony.
- - Aren't you dead?
- Died. - - What is it about?
- Baron hides.
- And what does he say?
- It is clear that: the scoundrel speaks, the psycho is crazy, the unfortunate liar ...
- And what does he want?
- It's clear what: so as not to quit.
- Logically. - First there were celebrations, then arrests. Then we decided to combine.
- - He shot not cherries, but currants when they flew over his house.
- - Jail awaits you.
- A wonderful place ... Here, next to me, Ovid, Cervantes - we will be tapping. - - The duck is ready.
- Let her go, let her fly. - Frau Marta, we are in trouble: the baron has risen! There will be trouble!
- The clock struck 2, the baron fired 3 times, so it was 5 o'clock!
- - In half an hour, the divorce proceedings will begin.
- It started a long time ago. The day I saw you. - It only takes a minute to fall in love. To get a divorce, sometimes you have to live twenty years together.
- This is not my adventure, this is not my life! She is smoothed, combed, powdered and castrated!
- Jacobina did not love me from childhood and, to her credit, managed to evoke response feelings in me.
- I am in the service... If the court decides that you are a baron, I will fall on your chest. If the court decides that you are Mueller, I will put you in jail.
- I wasn't afraid to be funny. Not everyone can afford it.
- I understand what your problem is. You are too serious. All the stupid things on earth were committed precisely with this facial expression... Smile, gentlemen... Smile...
- I decided to resurrect.
- I serve myself, sir. Every day at nine in the morning I have to go to my magistrate. I will not say that this is a feat, but in general there is something heroic in this!
Every year in the Museum of Baron Munchausen (Latvia) the offensive of May 32, mentioned in the film "The Same Munchausen", is celebrated. Baron Munchausen, signing the divorce papers, dates them on May 32 - according to his calculations, an error has crept into the calendar over the past millennia related to the more accurately calculated period of the Earth's rotation around its axis, and this year there should be one more extra day. But the baron's ideas are of no interest to anyone, everyone perceives his act as another challenge to public order.
A film directed by Mark Zakharov with the inimitable Oleg Yankovsky in leading role immediately won the hearts of the audience and after the release in 1979 was dismantled into quotes. This is a real masterpiece that you want to revise again and again - and each time find new meanings. 
- Truth is what is currently considered the truth ...
So you say - hunting ...
- I speak?
- Well, don't talk, think.
Are you saying that a person can lift himself by his hair?
- Necessarily! A thinking person is simply obliged to do this from time to time. 
- Mr. Baron has been expecting you for a long time. He has been working in the office since morning, locked himself up and asks: “Thomas,” he says, “has Mr. Pastor arrived yet?” I say, "Not yet." He says, "Well, thank God." Very much waiting for you.
Mr. Baron went to the forest to hunt and there he met this bear. The bear rushed at him, and since Mr. Baron was without a gun ...
- Why without a gun?
- I'm telling you: he went hunting ...
- And when the bear rushed at him, Mr. Baron grabbed him by the front paws and held him until he died.
- What did he die of?
- From hunger. The bear, as you know, eats what sucks its paw, and since the lord baron deprived him of this opportunity ...
“And what do you believe in all this?”
- Certainly. You yourself saw how thin he is.
- Who?
- Bear.
- What bear?
- Whom you saw. 
- Frau Marta, I didn't hear: what time is it?
- The clock struck 3, the baron - 2, so only 5.
Are you waiting for me, dear? Sorry, Newton kept me. 
Let's hit through the chimney.
Got it. Duck! With apples. She seems to be well fried.
- She, it seems, and poured sauce on the way.
- Yes? How sweet of her!
She ran away from me two years ago.
“To tell you the truth, Baron, I would have done the same in her place.
- That's why I'm not marrying you, but Martha.
- Unfortunately, with a living wife, you cannot marry again.
- While alive? Are you suggesting we kill her?
- God bless you, baron! 
“But you allow kings to divorce.
- Well, kings in special cases, as an exception, when it is necessary, say, for procreation.
- To continue the race, you need something completely different.
- The Church must bless love!
- Legal!
- Any love is legal if it is love!
- It's just your way!
- What do you recommend?
- There is nothing to advise here: live as you lived. Only according to civil and church laws, the wife who is no longer your wife will still be considered your wife! 
- I was told - a smart person.
- Well, you never know what they talk about a person!
Well, do not change me because of every idiot!
- Be like everyone else, Carl! I'm begging!
- As everybody? What are you saying? Like everyone else ... Do not fly on cannonballs, do not hunt mammoths, do not correspond with Shakespeare ... 
- What are you yelling at night?
- Is it night?
- Night.
- And how long?
- Since the evening.
I wanted to say the duck is ready.
- Let her go. Let it fly. 
- Do you want to hang this daub in the house?
- Why is she bothering you?
- She makes me angry! Chop her to pieces!
- Do not dare! He claims that this is the work of Rembrandt.
- Whom?
- Rembrandt.
- Lies.
- Of course it's a lie, but the auctioneers offer twenty thousand for it.
- Twenty? So sell.
- To sell means to admit that it is true.
Challenge your father to a duel.
- Never!
- But why?
- Firstly, he will kill me, and secondly ...
- And the first is enough.
I'm 19 years old and I'm just a cornet! And no perspective! I was not even allowed to maneuver!
- Manyo-yovry!
- They were not allowed to go to the maneuvers! The colonel said that he generally refused to accept reports from Baron Munchausen. 
- Baroness, how does this Amazon costume suit you! Ramkopf, you are charming as always! How are you, cornet? I see it's good!
- Judging by the abundance of compliments, you again have bad news. 
- A man destroyed a family, drove his wife and child out of the house!
- What a child! I am an officer!
- Kicked out his wife with an officer!
You have a mistress - to health! Now everyone has mistresses. But they must not be allowed to marry. It is immoral! 
- But is it a fact?
- No, it's not a fact.
- Isn't that a fact?
- No, it's not a fact. This is much more than a fact. So it really was.
Being in some nervous overexcitation, the duke suddenly grabbed and signed several petitions for divorce with the words: “Free, everyone free!” 
Yes, we played it. Duel! Mr Ramkopf, you are an old friend of our family, you do a lot for us. Do one more.
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Be my second.
- Never!
- But why?
- Firstly, he will kill the second ...
- Yes.
- Murderer!
Your Highness, maybe it's our left wing? It is unreliable.
- The center worries me too... 
- Maybe, in this case, it is still worth raising the top from above and lowering the bottom from below?
- Let's do that! Two rows of darts on the left, two on the right. The whole solution is in the waist! Where do you think we will make the waist? At chest level!
- Brilliant! Brilliant, like everything is true.
- Exactly at chest level. Sixty six. I will not allow you to lower the waistline to the hips. One hundred fifty five. In the end, we are the center of Europe, I will not allow all the Spaniards there to dictate terms to us. If you want a detachable sleeve - please. If you want a pleated skirt with darts, I accept that too. But I will not let you lower the waistline! 
- Get up at 6 am!
- Unpunished.
- from 8 to 10 - a feat.
- what does it mean?
- This means that from 8 to 10 in the morning he has a feat planned. Well, what do you say, Mr. Burgomaster, about a man who sets out daily for a feat, as if for a service?
- I serve myself, ma'am. Every day at nine in the morning I have to go to my magistrate. I will not say that this is a feat, but in general there is something heroic in this.
Lord, why didn't England please him?! 
War is not poker! It can not be announced when you want! War is... war!
Do we leave the chest in place?
- No, we take it with us!
Where is my military uniform?
“Please, Your Highness, please!”
- What-about?? Me - in this? Single-breasted? What are you? Don't you know that no one is fighting in a single-breasted one now? Ugliness! War is on the doorstep, and we are not ready! No, we are not ready for war! 
- Gentlemen officers, let's check the clock! How many now?
- 15:00!
- 15 and a quarter!
- And more precisely?
- Plus 22!
Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus von Munchausen! You have been ordered to arrest. In case of resistance ordered to use force.
- To whom?
- What to whom?
- Whom to use force in case of resistance, you or me?
- Didn't understand…
- So, maybe send a messenger to ask again?
- This is impossible.
- Right. We will both follow orders. Is it logical?
- Uh-uh...
- And this is good. One minute. So this is how it's done. To the side, gentlemen! You leave altogether. And, of course, dancing! Still a tractor.
It's all right, Your Highness. Baron Munchausen will be arrested any minute. He asked me to pass on so that they would not disperse.
He once went into the woods without a gun.
- In what sense without a gun?
- Well, in the sense of a bear.
- Not a bear, but a mammoth. But he was shooting from a gun.
- From a gun?
- Yes. A bone from a cherry.
- Cherries!
- He shot, firstly, not cherries, but currants. As they flew over his house.
- The Bears?
- Well, not mammoths!
- And why then did all this grow in a deer? 
- What is this?
- Arrested.
- Why an orchestra?
“Your Highness, the celebrations were planned first. Then the arrests. Then we decided to combine.
- And where is our guard? Where is the guard?
- Obviously, bypasses from the flanks.
- Whom?
- Everyone!
Your Highness, don't go against your conscience. I know you are a noble man and in your heart you are also against England.
- Yes, in my heart I'm against it. Yes, I don't like her. But I sit and keep quiet!
- No, it's not a duke, it's a rag!
- Madame, what do you want from him? England has surrendered!
Why is the war going on? Do they not read newspapers? 
- Remembered! He really shot a deer! But through the chimney!
Have you forgotten that the divorce proceedings will begin in half an hour?
- It started a long time ago. Since I saw you.
Divorce is disgusting not only because it separates the spouses, but also because the man is called free, and the woman abandoned.
- What is it about?
Baron covers.
- And what does he say?
- It is clear that: "scoundrel", he says, "crazy crazy, unfortunate liar" ...
- And what does he want?
- It's clear what: so as not to quit.
- Logically.
Carl, why so late?
- In my opinion, it's too early: not all nonsense has yet been said. 
- How so: for 20 years everything was fine, and suddenly such a tragedy.
- Sorry, Mr. Judge, the tragedy lasted 20 years, and only now everything should be fine. It was a difficult 20 years, but I do not regret them!
There are couples made for love, we were made for divorce. 
Jacobina did not love me from childhood and, to her credit, managed to evoke response feelings in me. In the church, when the priest asked if we wanted to become husband and wife, we unanimously answered: “No!” - and we were immediately married. After the wedding, my wife and I went on a honeymoon trip: I went to Turkey, she went to Switzerland. And for three years they lived there in love and harmony.
I protest! You insult my client!
- You can't offend with the truth, dear lawyer!
It only takes a minute to fall in love. To get a divorce, sometimes you have to live 20 years together. 
At one time, Socrates once told me: “Marry by all means. If you get a good wife, you will become happy; if you get a bad wife, you will become a philosopher.” I don't know which is better.
And long live the divorce, gentlemen! It eliminates the lies that I hate so much!
Give in, Lord! You've already endured so much... well, be patient a little more! 
Thomas, are you happy that we have May 32?
“Not really, Mr. Baron. On the first of June I get paid.
Are you excited about the new day?
- Look at what falls. If it's Sunday, then it's a shame. And if on Monday - well, why do we need two Mondays?
Lord, why didn't you marry Joan of Arc? She did agree.
But I told the truth!
- To hell with it, with the truth! Sometimes you need to lie. You know, lie! Lord, I have to explain such obvious things to Baron Munchausen!
May 32, 33rd, and so on ...
- Well that's just wonderful! And don't be so tragic, my dear. Look at it with your usual humor... With humor!.. In the end, Galileo also denied us.
- Therefore, I always loved Giordano Bruno more ...
- In the end, I always respected your choice: a free line of the shoulder ...
- So what is June like today?
- First.
- Don't complicate things, baron. Secretly you can believe.
- I can't secretly. I can only openly.
Since no one needs an extra day of spring, let's forget about it. On such a day it is difficult to live, but it is easy to die.
I wasn't afraid to be funny. Not everyone can afford it.
What if you don't be afraid...
- Eliminate! Or... get closer?
- Connect! 
From Munchausen, gentlemen, we will not pour water! No need. He is dear to us just like Munchausen ... like Carl Friedrich Hieronymus ... and whether his horse drinks or does not drink - this does not bother us.
I'm scared to remember. I dreamed of a duel with my father. I wanted to kill him... We all killed him... Assassins!!!
- How about carnations?
- Two thalers!
- How's that for two thalers? They are lethargic!
- Sluggish. Ha ha ha! Our baron, while he was alive, was also valued cheaply. And withered - became dear to everyone! 
- In Germany, having the surname Müller is like not having any.
- You're all kidding...
- Quit a long time ago. Doctors forbid.
- Since when did you start going to the doctors?
- Immediately after death.
And they say that humor is useful. The joke, they say, prolongs life.
- Not everyone. To the one who laughs, it prolongs, and to the one who is sharp, it shortens.
Good boy?
- 12 kilograms.
- Runs?
- For what? Walks.
- Chatting?
- Silent.
- Smart boy, will go far.
My funeral alone gave me more money than my entire previous life.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of your death. Are you trying to ruin our holiday?
- Today at midnight at the monument.
- At the monument. To whom?
- To me.
- You're dead!
- Died!
For the fourth time we drive this boar past His Highness, and His Highness, pardon the expression, smears and smears! Will you order to drive away the fifth time?
- No! Uncomfortable. He already remembered him by sight.
- Who will win?
- Duke of the Boar! 
Do what you want, but so that in half an hour it will be dry in the forest, light and a bear!
By the way, Baron, I wanted to ask you for a long time: where did you actually get the bears?
- I don't remember. I think it's in the forest.
- No, this is impossible. They haven't been with us for a long time.
So, gentlemen, I have invited you to tell you the most unpleasant news. Damn, that's a great opening line for a play. Someone will have to offer.
This is not my adventure, this is not my life. She is smoothed, combed, powdered and castrated!
- Ordinary editorial editing.
- Dear Jacobina, you know me: when they cut me, I endure, but when they supplement, it becomes unbearable.
And you have changed a lot during this time, Mr. Burgomaster.
- You didn't do it for nothing. 
Frau Marta, we are in trouble: the baron has risen! There will be trouble!
I hate! All! Duel! Shoot here! Through a scarf!
I'm on duty. If they decide that you are Munchausen, I will fall on your chest. If they decide that you are Mueller, I will put you in jail. That's all I can do for you.
Lord, do you really need to kill a person to understand that he is alive?! 
And my advice to you: do not rush to become Munchausen's widow. This place is currently occupied.
- You face jail time.
- Wonderful place! Here next to me is Ovid, Cervantes… We will be tapping.
What, do you really think that he will fly?
- To the moon, of course!
- You can't even see her.
- When you can see, so the fool will fly. The Baron likes to make it harder.
Well, let's confess.
- I did it all my life. But no one believed me.
- I beg you, lighten your soul.
- It happened by itself, pastor. I had a friend - he betrayed me. I had a favorite - she denied. I'm flying light.
- Well, say something goodbye!
- What to say?
- Think. There is always something important for such a moment.
- I ... I'll be waiting for you!
- Not that!
- I ... I love you very much!
- Not that!
- I'll be faithful to you!
- No need!
- They put raw gunpowder, Carl! They want to stop you!
- Here. 
The pharmacist's daughter - she is the pharmacist's daughter!
Now I will fly away, and we are unlikely to see each other. But when I return, next time, you will be gone. The fact is that time in heaven and on earth flies differently: there - moments, here - centuries. 
Lord, how tired of dying!
Where is the commander?
- In command!
Join, Mr. Baron. Join.
Yes, understand, Baron Munchausen is famous not for flying or not flying, but for not lying. 
- When I return, let it be six o'clock.
- Six in the evening or six in the morning?
- Six days! 
I understand what your trouble is: you are too serious. A smart face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen. All the stupid things on earth are done with this facial expression. Smile, gentlemen. Smile!
