The departure of a person into the world of illusions is associated with serious problems in his life. Alone in difficult situation drink too much, others withdraw into themselves, others get hooked on computer games, and someone goes to gaming club and plays on the sweepstakes.
All of these categories have practically no future if someone does not help them in time, or until a situation occurs that puts the whole life of an addicted person on the line. If your loved one got into such a bind, you must urgently look for the only right answer to the question of how to wean from slot machines.
Outline the situation
A gambler, like an alcoholic, cannot be forced to quit until he himself has passed. Talk to your husband or boyfriend about the consequences. Don't be afraid to lecture him. In this case, all methods are good. Tell me how very soon he will be left alone without a livelihood, unable to change anything. The brighter and thicker the colors are, the greater the effect your words will have. Eat good methods addiction treatment, mainly associated with psychotherapy and the appointment of special drugs. Offer to visit a specialist, especially if destructive changes in the psyche are already on the face.
Find something more interesting
Psychologists have studied the main reasons that encourage people to play the sweepstakes or slot machines. Excitement here is mixed with monetary interest. If a man does not have a normal high-paying job, interesting hobby, he will make up for it by relying on luck. Belief in the omnipotence of fortune and the desire to become her favorite sometimes brush aside the most compelling arguments. People who are addicted to computer games main motive- assert yourself in virtual world, because in reality it does not work very well. They can spend huge amounts of money on pumping their characters through the Internet, which is comparable in terms of damage to gambling addiction to slot machines. If you still don't want to spend money on a psychiatrist, imagine the cost of gambling.
Do you know that he has many talents that can bring him money? Then motivate to achieve something with their application. Try together to find a hobby that will give him no less adrenaline than computer game or "one-armed bandit".
Give me an ultimatum
If all your attempts are unsuccessful, set a condition: either he quits this business, or he will not see you again. Show your determination. Rent another apartment, pay the divorce fee, and so on. You really have nothing more to lose. This is not your cross, even if you love this person very much. He made his choice, do not succumb to pity and do not be indulgent in this case.
Do you still believe that he can change? If he doesn't do anything about it, you can't even force him to. Just like an alcoholic or drug addict, he is no longer able to give up addiction. In our country there is no requirement for compulsory treatment for addictions, so leave it, do not sacrifice yourself. You still have a chance to find a person who will take relationships and life in general more seriously.
Oh, I didn’t think, I didn’t guess that someday this problem would affect our family, but it just so happened. I want to talk about our experience - how to get rid of gambling addiction. The story that happened in our family is not the most pleasant, but it seems to me that such things can and should be talked about - this can help someone recover or cure loved one.
Unfortunately, more and more often the most ordinary people without any bad habits - from teenagers to very old people, but people aged 23-45 are most susceptible to this misfortune. As you can imagine, the range is very large.
I'll tell you a little about our family so that you understand what's what. We helped my brother recover from gambling addiction, he is quite successful man- He has his own house, car, small business and a pretty wife. It would seem that a person has everything that is possible, but apparently something was still missing.
Our family has a negative attitude towards alcohol and other ways of expanding consciousness, and I am almost sure that my brother never drank anything stronger than beer or champagne in New Year. Nevertheless, he could not cope with his problem on his own, he needed the help of his wife first, and then all family members.
How addiction to gambling and slot machines develops
The main reason for the development of addiction to slot machines and other gambling is that a person has a reflex. The principle of gambling addiction (as gambling addiction is correctly called) is similar to drug addiction and alcohol addiction. You do something specific, and immediately you get pleasure.There is another aspect, no less important. I don’t know about you, but in our family it has always been customary to achieve what you want, to try different approaches. Already when we tried to cure my brother, we talked with him, and he said that he remembers his expectations and thoughts from gameplay. You put it - it doesn't work. How did it happen? It should work! And this quagmire sucks every day deeper and deeper.
What is bad about addiction like gambling addiction is the lack of restrictions. It would seem that all dependencies can be described as a violation of some boundaries, but now you will understand what I mean.
Let's say a person can drink several bottles of vodka. Expensive or not, quality or burnt. But he can't drink her cistern. The story is similar with drugs. And if a person has signs of gambling addiction, then he can lose any amount in one evening.
My brother started playing slot machines and spent 100-500 rubles per evening on it. Not a lot of money, it did not affect his family budget in any way, and for a very long time even his wife did not know that her husband had a gambling addiction. Before we knew, the stakes in his games were five figures.
How to determine if a loved one is addicted
Like any psychiatric disorder, gambling addiction has its own symptoms. Unfortunately, a person is most often unaware that it is time to worry, but if you see any of the signs described below in your husband, brother, father, or any other close person, it's time to sound the alarm.By the way, I often say that men are prone to gambling addiction, and I forget about women. In fact, there are slightly fewer women who want to recover from gambling addiction. So, the signs of gambling addiction:
- The person often plays large sums money (more than his budget can afford).
- He also often sets aside certain amounts for his entertainment - this becomes a constant expense.
- There is no sense of time - a person enters a casino or a gambling hall, and can spend from several hours to several days there.
- There is a desire to raise rates in order to experience pleasure.
- A person becomes aggressive and irritable if he fails to play.
- A person has tried many times to "tie up", that is, he partially assesses his condition as obsessive.
- With the help of the game you want to be distracted from life's troubles.
- The game and the gaming establishment become more significant than any other social objects or phenomena.
- A person returns to gambling despite the fact that it frankly interferes with his life.
In our case, my brother's wife got worried. At first she thought that her husband had a mistress - this is not my brother's style, but nevertheless, it occurred to her. And I understand her - a person can be suspected of anything if he is clearly hiding something, looks irritated, nervous and tired.
Then she also noted that money began to disappear in the family. Unfortunately, she did not have the courage to talk to me or our parents about this situation, and she continued to struggle with her thoughts alone. When suddenly the brother did not come to spend the night - then we found out that something was happening to him, and the whole story was revealed about the fact that he goes to casinos and gambling machines.
How to treat
That's when we all thought about how to get rid of gambling addiction. The decision was unequivocal - we will fight and treat him.
Olechka, his wife, was also determined to fight for her husband, and this made me happy - on the one hand, life with dependent person obviously not sugar, and I would understand her if she decided to leave. On the other hand, it was already so difficult for him to overcome his illness, and he would not have endured a divorce, as it seems to me.
First of all, we all went together for a consultation with a doctor - we needed an authoritative opinion and direction of action.
Opinion of physicians
The main thing that is required for successful treatment is to accept the fact of gambling addiction. The patient must agree that this is an addiction, and it interferes with him.The next thing that relatives (and if we are talking about adolescent addiction, then parents) need to do is to take a firm stand and identify it. Playing is bad, spending money on it is bad, the family is against it, and if everything continues like this, then you can lose your family.
Ludomania can and should be treated - this is a disease, and not at all a feature of the psyche or a bad habit. Such a person should be treated with the involvement of doctors - relatives and friends are unlikely to cope with this task on their own, co-dependent relationships may arise that will cause even more harm to the family.
How to treat? This question must be answered by the doctor. I can only say about our situation - my brother was helped good doctor, who prescribed him several sedatives (names are not given here for reasons medical ethics and the safety of readers - the doctor must prescribe medication!) And psychotherapy.
In addition, the support from the family helped, of course. We firmly explained that the point was not that he was spending money - this was the reason for our first conflict with my brother, it seemed to him that we were simply forbidding him to play for materialistic reasons.
It was very difficult to convey to him that he was destroying himself and his family. That he found an outlet in this, and this is a false outlet, it does not bring him happiness. Psychotherapy helped a lot - first individual, and then group - being in a group, it was easier for my brother to agree that this disease can really be treated, and moreover, successfully.
Now my brother does not play, and I hope he will never start again - the whole family keeps abreast.
I would like to give a separate piece of advice to the parents of those teenagers who pay a lot of attention to gambling. Remember that teenagers are almost always at risk, and pay more attention to them. Better to be safe.
And don't forget that gambling for real money are possible even in mobile phone and home computer - just go to the online casino site to start playing. Unfortunately, it is very, very difficult to control this.
Try to assess the condition of a teenager according to the signs that I have given, and in case of the slightest doubt, go to a psychologist.
Hello! A couple of months ago I discovered that my husband withdrew money from my bank card and lost them online slot machines. After that, a serious conversation took place with her husband, during which he swore that he would no longer do this and that he was very ashamed of his act. There was also an agreement that if he "breaks loose", he will immediately have to tell me about it. Last week I went to his computer and found that he was playing again. He also began to hide his earnings, constantly says that they do not pay at work, waits until I fall asleep and goes to play. Please tell me how to behave in this situation, how to behave further?!
Hello Svetlana!
Your husband most likely has a gambling addiction - one of the most serious non-chemical addictions. You need to this moment protect yourself as much as possible - do not give bank cards, remove money, change passwords.
And your husband needs to work with a specialist. Talk to him. But you should take into account that he must have a desire to change the situation.
If you need help, please contact.
Psychologist Nikulina Marina, St. Petersburg. Consultations in person, skype
Good answer 1 bad answer 0Hello Svetlana!
All the best, Svetlana,
Kuvshinov Alexander Viktorovich, psychologist-psychoanalyst, St. Petersburg
Good answer 2 bad answer 2Although our government began to fight with slot machines that flooded the whole country, alas, enterprising businessmen find how to get around the law and those who suffer from a passion for the game can always find a suitable object for themselves. How to wean from slot machines?
Ludomania - this is the scientific name for the passion for various kinds of games and slot machines - this is mental disorder which refers to compulsive disorders. Unfortunately, our country began to investigate this problem not so long ago, while the West has already accumulated quite significant experience based on practical research.
How to wean a person from slot machines?
First of all, you need to understand what addiction is. Addiction is called the withdrawal of a person from real life by taking various psychotropic substances or compensatory substitution by some kind of activity. Slot machines give such compensation when a person begins to depend on risk. Alas, in this case, a person risks not his life, but only money, but, unfortunately, this also creates huge problems in the family and communication with relatives and friends.
By what signs can it be determined that a person has already become addicted to gambling, and specifically to slot machines?
Man starts almost everything free time to spend in the game room, and sometimes he spends time on it when he is supposed to go to work. Very often, gamblers spend the game and all night long.
More and more money is being spent on the game. At first, money from the family budget goes to it, but then it starts to be missed and the person begins to borrow money or simply spends other people's money, which he is no longer able to pay on his own. Ludomania can push the sufferer to theft or any other crime.
In addition, the passion for the game destroys family and friendships, because few people can withstand a long communication with a gambling addict. At first, wives or relatives try to persuade a person, appeal to his mind, ask him to stop. I must say that all this is quite useless. After all, passion for gambling is absolutely the same disease as drug addiction or alcoholism. What do you think - is it possible to persuade a drug addict to quit drugs, even if he understands that they are killing him?
Unfortunately this is not possible. That is why, in order to wean a person from slot machines, it is necessary to contact specialists who deal with this problem. Moreover, the sooner you do this, the better and the greater the likelihood of a person returning to normal life.
How to wean your husband from playing and do everything so that he overcomes this harmful and dangerous addiction? It does not matter at all what form of gambling your husband suffers - a gamer: he plays slot machines or poker. The important thing is that such activities cause irreparable damage not only to the family budget, but also to your relationship. You are probably looking for information on how to treat gambling addiction and whether it is possible. Be sure that it is quite possible to overcome such a disease, and you can help your spouse do this using our advice.
How to treat gambling addiction in a husband
Talk to your spouse first, if possible. Find out what prompted him to start playing. Sometimes people become players because of financial problems. It seems like it only takes a little bit of luck to make a fortune.
However, after the first minor win, as a rule, there is a serious loss. This is followed by attempts to recoup - and now, the person himself does not notice how he gets into vicious circle from which it is impossible to get out.
Sometimes gambling occurs under the influence family problems. Do you often quarrel, and the situation at home is tense to the limit? It is not surprising that the husband begins to look for a way to relax, to escape from worries. By the way, problems at work can also provoke such behavior. So, the most important thing is to eliminate the cause, and only then you can try to treat your husband's gambling addiction.
Remember that gambling is the same disease as drug addiction and alcoholism. And this means that it must be treated. Consult a psychologist - he will recommend effective methodology, which will allow you to understand how to treat your husband's gambling addiction. Even if the spouse is categorically against visiting a psychologist, talk to a specialist on your own - you will learn a lot of useful things.
If there is no other way out, just hide all the money in the house. The husband will have some kind of stash left. Having spent it, he will actually be left without a livelihood and will understand that money needs to be spent wisely and for other purposes. Another option is to agree that the husband will take a certain percentage of wages and play on it. Only, of course, such an approach, although it will ensure peace in the family, still will not cure the husband’s gambling addiction, and sooner or later he will definitely break down.
Threaten to leave if the games don't stop. Put the person in front of a choice: either you or the game. If a man is still able to prioritize, he will choose you. If the game turns out to be more important, then your relationship does not make sense - look for a person who will love only you.
Gamer husband: what to do
How about how to treat the gambling addiction of a husband - a gamer in case this hobby of his simply poisons your life? Is there any chance to change the situation and normalize the microclimate in the family? Let's talk about it today.
To begin with, it is very important to determine the reason why slot machines have become a part of your spouse's life. Often this happens under the influence of negative circumstances. Constant quarrels in the family, unstable financial position, problems at work, accumulated fatigue - all this leads to the fact that a person begins to look for an opportunity to relax and forget about all the troubles.
Machine guns help him with this. Although, of course, such an effect is a fiction. In fact, slot machines are the real "eaters" of time and money. The husband - a gamer does not have the strength and time for a family, work, hobbies. More and more it is the machines that capture him, and then a seemingly harmless hobby can turn into a serious problem.
So, initially, determine what exactly contributes to the increase of the spouse's interest in slot machines. As far as possible, make sure that negative factors are not present in the life of your husband, then the interest in the game will decrease.
It’s good if a trusting atmosphere reigns in your family, and you can speak the most different topics. Try to talk to your husband and find out what exactly worries him, why he started to play. When you understand this, you can think about how to wean your spouse from slot machines.
It is believed that gambling is a disease that is on a par with alcoholism and drug addiction. Therefore, do not expect that you can cure it yourself. For this, it is best to contact a psychologist. He will definitely give you some useful tips. It’s great if your spouse agrees to be treated voluntarily - then you won’t have to think about how to wean your husband from slot machines.
If the gamer husband is constantly losing money, just say that this month he will live solely on his salary. And even if a person spends all the money on slot machines, in no case do not lend him money - let him borrow money elsewhere and at the same time think about the fact that you could eat on the lost amount whole month.
Rest assured, if you wish, you can help your spouse get rid of gambling.
"Hello! Tell me how to cure my husband from gambling? My husband plays cards. Playing cards changed him a lot. Began to be delayed from work, became withdrawn, irritable. I feel like I'm losing him. I tried to talk that his passion for good would not end. That this is a gambling game that you can get involved in and lose everything. He told me that he really liked playing cards and he would decide when he should stop playing.
Then it turned out that he had lost a certain amount of money. We talked again. He promised, once again, to quit. But it turned out that he began to deceive me and still continues to play. I don’t recognize him and constantly think about how to treat my husband’s gambling addiction.
He is bored at work and will play cards no matter what. That I read all sorts of rubbish and drove it into my head that his game dragged on. That he is trying for the family, that he has just learned to play and began to win, and I interfere with him. He can't concentrate like the other guys who play with him. Their wives don't scold them like I do, and they're supposed to be great players, and they always have a lot of money in their pockets. Well, I was late for a couple of hours - no big deal.
I don’t know what to think, what to do, how to treat my husband’s gambling addiction, maybe I’m saying something wrong or behaving incorrectly, maybe I’m overcomplicating everything or winding myself up. Please help me advise what should I do? How to cure a husband from gambling? Do not disregard my message!!! I just can't find my place. The family is on the verge of collapse. Claudia Danilova.
How to cure your husband's gambling addiction, psychologist Elena Poryvaeva answers
Your husband is fond of playing cards for money, you do not approve of his hobbies and are afraid that because of him your relationship may collapse. The game has become a kind of “bone of contention”. Previously, your relationship was built on mutual understanding, respect and love.
Now the husband has become irritable and withdrawn, has become late at work and deceives you. You tend to think that it is the game that has such a negative effect on your husband, changing his behavior. You want to prevent danger, not to let the game take over your husband. In other words, you seek to counter the negative influence of the game with your own, positive influence.
Gambling, indeed, can be a serious temptation, addictive, just like alcohol. But after all, many people drink alcohol, but not everyone becomes addicted to it.
You are scared negative consequences and you are trying to warn, to protect your husband from trouble, but behind this lies your distrust of your husband, doubt in his power to control himself and be responsible for his actions. It seems to me that the response (irritability, protest, isolation, frequent absences) of the husband is due to the fact that he feels your distrust. Perhaps he wants to prove to you and to himself that you are wrong about him.
There is no agreement between you and your husband regarding his hobby. You are not required to agree with him and are entitled to your own opinion. You can express your disagreement, but the question is how to express it and for what purpose.
It seemed to me that your actions are aimed not only at curing your husband’s gambling addiction, but also at trying to convince your husband, which means forcing him to do what he does not agree with and does not want to do. In a concentrated form, it looks something like this: “Your hobby is wrong and harmful, you should give it up. You are mistaken, and I know better what you should do.” This cannot be perceived otherwise than as a pressure that meets with reciprocal resistance: "I am autonomous and able to answer for myself."
Whether your fears are justified or not, you cannot make the "play or quit" decision for your husband and cure your husband's gambling addiction. He must want to recover from gambling addiction himself. This solution is the same as possible mistakes- the choice and responsibility that lie with him. Allow yourself to internally accept this and defend, even in such difficult conditions for you, the principle of mutual respect and trust, which was the basis of your relationship before.
