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Fonvizin Denis Ivanovich

undergrowth

Denis Ivanovich Fonvizin

UNDERGROWTH

Comedy in five acts.

CHARACTERS: Prostakov. Mrs. * Prostakova, his wife. Mitrofan, their son, is undersized. ** Eremeevna, mother *** Mitrofanova. Pravdin. Starodum. Sophia, niece of Starodum. Milo. Mr. Skotinin, brother of Mrs. Prostakova. Kuteikin, seminarian. Tsyfirkin, retired sergeant. Vralman, teacher. Trishka, tailor. Servant of Prostakov. Starodum's valet. Action in the village of Prostakov.

* Mrs. - Abbreviated spelling of the word "Ms." In the future, a more common abbreviation is adopted - Ms. ** So the nobles were officially called, mostly young, who did not receive a document on education and did not enter the service. At the same time, the word "undergrowth" meant any nobleman who had not reached the age of majority. *** Mom, that is, the nurse.

STEP ONE

SCENE I Mrs. Prostakova, Mitrofan, Eremeevna Mrs. Prostakova (examining Mitrofan's caftan). The coat is all ruined. Eremeevna, bring in the swindler Trishka here. (Yeremeevna moves away.) He, the thief, has taunted him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend, I'm having some tea, it's squeezing you to death. Call your father here. Mitrofan leaves.

SCENE II Mrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Trishka Mrs. Prostakova (Trishke). And you, cattle, come closer. Didn't I tell you, thieves' mug, that you let your caftan go wider. The child, the first, is growing, the other, the child, and without a narrow caftan of delicate build. Tell me, idiot, what's your excuse? Trishka. Why, madame, I was self-taught. I then reported to you: well, if you please, give it to the tailor. Ms Prostakova. So is it really necessary to be a tailor in order to be able to sew a caftan well. What a beastly argument! Trishka. Why, ma'am, the tailor studied, but I didn't. Ms Prostakova. He also argues. A tailor learned from another, another from a third, but who did the first tailor learn from? Speak, cattle. Trishka. Yes, the first tailor, perhaps, sewed worse than mine. Mitrofan (runs in). Called my father. I dared to say: immediately. Ms Prostakova. So go and get him out, if you don’t call for good. Mitrofan. Yes, here is the father.

SCENE III The same and Prostakov Mrs. Prostakova. What, what are you trying to hide from me? Here, sir, what I have lived with your indulgence. What is the son's new thing to his uncle's conspiracy? What caftan Trishka deigned to sew? Prostakov (stammering from timidity). Me...a little baggy. Ms Prostakova. You yourself are baggy clever mind. Prostakov. Yes, I thought, mother, that you think so. Ms Prostakova. Are you blind yourself? Prostakov. With your eyes mine see nothing. Ms Prostakova. That's the kind of hubby the Lord has given me: he doesn't know how to make out what is wide and what is narrow. Prostakov. In this I believed you, mother, and I believe. Ms Prostakova. So believe the same and the fact that I do not intend to indulge the lackeys. Go, sir, and now punish...

SCENE IV The same and Skotinin Skotinin. Whom? for what? On the day of my collusion! I ask you, sister, for such a holiday to postpone the punishment until tomorrow; and tomorrow, if you please, I myself will gladly help. If it wasn't for me Taras Skotinin, if I don't have any fault to blame. In this, sister, I have the same custom with you. Why are you so angry? Ms Prostakova. Yes, brother, I will send to your eyes. Mitrofanushka, come here. Is this coat baggy? Skotinin. No. Prostakov. Yes, I myself can already see, mother, that it is narrow. Skotinin. I don't see that either. The caftan, brother, is quite well made. Mrs. Prostakova (Trishke). Get out, cattle. (Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. After all, I have tea, soon the teachers will come. Eremeevna. He already, mother, deigned to eat five buns. Ms Prostakova. So you're sorry for the sixth, you bastard? What zeal! Feel free to watch. Eremeevna. Hello, mother. After all, I said this for Mitrofan Terentyevich. Protoskoval until morning. Ms Prostakova. Ah, mother of God! What happened to you, Mitrofanushka? Mitrofan. Yes, mother. Yesterday, after dinner, I had a seizure. Skotinin. Yes, it is clear, brother, you had a hearty supper. Mitrofan. And I, uncle, hardly ate supper at all. Prostakov. I remember, my friend, you deigned to eat something. Mitrofan. What! Three slices of corned beef, yes hearth, I don’t remember, five, I don’t remember, six. Eremeevna. At night every now and then he asked for a drink. The whole jug deigned to eat kvass. Mitrofan. And now I'm walking like crazy. All night long such rubbish climbed into the eyes. Ms Prostakova. What kind of rubbish, Mitrofanushka? Mitrofan. Yes, then you, mother, then father. Ms Prostakova. How is it? Mitrofan. As soon as I begin to fall asleep, then I see that you, mother, deign to beat the father. Prostakov (aside). Well! my trouble! dream in hand! Mitrofan (relaxing). So I felt sorry. Mme. Prostakova (with annoyance). Who, Mitrofanushka? Mitrofan. You, mother: you are so tired, beating the father. Ms Prostakova. Embrace me, my friend of the heart! Here, son, is one of my consolations. Skotinin. Well, Mitrofanushka! You, I see, are a mother's son, not a father's. Prostakov. At least I love him as a parent should, this is a clever child, this is a reasonable child, an amusing, entertainer; sometimes I am beside myself with him, with joy I myself truly do not believe that he is my son, Skotinin. Only now our amusing fellow is frowning at something. Ms Prostakova. Why not send for a doctor to the city? Mitrofan. No, no, mother. I'd rather get better on my own. I'll run to the dovecote now, so maybe ... Mrs. Prostakova. So maybe the Lord is merciful. Come, frolic, Mitrofanushka. Mitrofan and Yeremeevna depart.

SCENE V Mrs. Prostakova, Prostakov, Skotinin Skotinin. Why can't I see my bride? Where is she? In the evening there will be an agreement, so isn't it time for her to say that she is being married off? Ms Prostakova. We'll make it, brother. If she is told this ahead of time, then she may still think that we are reporting to her. Although by my husband, however, I am a relative of hers; And I love that strangers listen to me. Prostakov (Skotinin). To tell the truth, we treated Sofyushka like a real orphan. After her father, she remained a baby. For half a year, as her mother, and my fiancé, a stroke began ... Mrs. Prostakova (shows that she is baptizing her heart). The power of the cross is with us. Prostakov. From which she went into the next world. Her uncle, Mr. Starodum, went to Siberia; and since for several years now there has been neither a rumor nor news about him, we consider him dead. We, seeing that she was left alone, took her to our village and oversee her estate as if it were our own. Ms Prostakova. Why are you so upset today, my father? Another brother might think that we took her to us for the sake of interest. Prostakov. Well, mother, how can he think it? After all, Sofyushkino's real estate cannot be moved to us. Skotinin. And although the movable has been put forward, I am not a petitioner. I don't like to bother, and I'm afraid. No matter how much the neighbors offended me, no matter how much damage they did, I didn’t hit anyone with my forehead, and any loss, than to go after him, I’ll tear off my own peasants, and the ends are in the water. Prostakov. That's true, brother: the whole neighborhood says that you are a masterful collector of dues. Ms Prostakova. If only you would teach us, brother father; and we can't. Since we took away everything that the peasants had, we can no longer tear anything off. Such trouble! Skotinin. If you please, sister, I will teach you, I will teach you, just marry me to Sofyushka. Ms Prostakova. Do you really like this girl? Skotinin. No, I don't like a girl. Prostakov. So in the neighborhood of her village? Skotinin. And not villages, but the fact that in the villages it is found and what my mortal hunt is. Ms Prostakova. To what, brother? Skotinin. I love pigs, sister, and we have such large pigs in our neighborhood that there is not a single one of them that, standing on its hind legs, would not be taller than each of us by a whole head. Prostakov. It's strange, brother, how relatives can resemble relatives! Our Mitrofanushka is all like an uncle - and he has grown up to pigs as much a hunter as you are. As he was still three years old, it happened, when he saw a pig, he would tremble with joy. Skotinin. This is truly a curiosity! Well, brother, Mitrofan loves pigs because he is my nephew. There is some resemblance here; why am I so addicted to pigs? Prostakov. And there are some similarities. This is how I argue.

Characters

Prostakov.

Ms. Prostakova, his wife.

Mitrofan, their son, undersized.

Eremeevna, Mitrofanov's mother.

Pravdin.

Starodum.

Sofia, niece of Starodum.

Milon.

Skotinin, brother of Ms. Prostakova.

Kuteikin, seminarian.

Tsyfirkin, retired sergeant.

Vralman, teacher.

Trishka, tailor.

Servant Prostakov.

Valet Starodum.

Action in the village of Prostakov.

Denis Fonvizin. Engraving from the collection of portraits of Platon Beketov. 1821 edition

Act one

PHENOMENON I

Cover of the first edition of D.I. Fonvizin "Undergrowth", 1783

Ms. Prostakova, Mitrofan, Eremeevna.

Ms. Prostakova (examining the caftan on Mitrofan). The coat is all ruined. Eremeevna, bring in the swindler Trishka here. (Yeremeevna leaves.) He, the thief, has restrained him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend! I have tea, you are pressed to death. Call your father here.

Mitrofan leaves.

PHENOMENON II

Mrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Trishka.

Ms. Prostakova (Trishka). And you, cattle, come closer. Didn't I tell you, thieves' mug, that you let your caftan go wider. The child, the first, grows; another, a child and without a narrow caftan of delicate build. Tell me, idiot, what's your excuse?

Trishka. Why, madame, I was self-taught. I then reported to you: well, if you please, give it to the tailor.

Ms Prostakova. So is it really necessary to be a tailor in order to be able to sew a caftan well. What a beastly argument!

Trishka. Yes, a tailor learned to knit, madam, but I didn’t.

Ms Prostakova. He is also seeking and arguing. A tailor learned from another, another from a third, but who did the first tailor learn from? Speak, cattle.

Trishka. Yes, the first tailor, perhaps, sewed worse than mine.

Mitrofan(runs in). Called my father. I dared to say: immediately.

Ms Prostakova. So go and get him out, if you don’t call for good.

Mitrofan. Yes, here is the father.

PHENOMENON III

The same and Prostakov.

Ms Prostakova. What, what are you trying to hide from me? Here, sir, what I have lived with your indulgence. What is the son's new thing to his uncle's conspiracy? What caftan Trishka deigned to sew?

Prostakov(stammering from timidity). Me ... a little baggy.

Ms Prostakova. You yourself are baggy, smart head.

Prostakov. Yes, I thought, mother, that you think so.

Ms Prostakova. Are you blind yourself?

Prostakov. With your eyes mine see nothing.

Ms Prostakova. This is the kind of hubby the Lord has rewarded me with: he doesn’t know how to make out what is wide and what is narrow.

Prostakov. In this I believe in you, mother, and believe.

Ms Prostakova. So believe the same and the fact that I do not intend to indulge the lackeys. Go, sir, and now punish ...

EVENT IV

The same and Skotinin.

Skotinin. Whom? For what? On the day of my collusion! I ask you, sister, for such a holiday to postpone the punishment until tomorrow; and tomorrow, if you please, I myself will gladly help. If it wasn't for me Taras Skotinin, if I don't have any fault to blame. In this, sister, I have the same custom with you. Why are you so angry?

Ms Prostakova. Yes, brother, I will send to your eyes. Mitrofanushka, come here. Is this coat baggy?

Skotinin. No.

Prostakov. Yes, I myself can already see, mother, that it is narrow.

Skotinin. I don't see that either. The caftan, brother, is quite well made.

Ms. Prostakova (Trishka). Get out, cattle. (Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. Vit, I have tea, soon the teachers will come.

Eremeevna. He already, mother, deigned to eat five buns.

Ms Prostakova. So you're sorry for the sixth, you bastard? What zeal! Feel free to watch.

Eremeevna. Hello, mother. I said this for Mitrofan Terentyevich. Protoskoval until morning.

Ms Prostakova. Ah, Mother of God! What happened to you, Mitrofanushka?

Mitrofan. Yes, mother. Yesterday, after dinner, I had a seizure.

Skotinin. Yes, it can be seen, brother, you dined tightly.

Mitrofan. And I, uncle, hardly ate supper at all.

Prostakov. I remember, my friend, you deigned to eat something.

Mitrofan. What! Three slices of corned beef, yes hearth, I don’t remember, five, I don’t remember, six.

Eremeevna. At night every now and then he asked for a drink. The whole jug deigned to eat kvass.

Mitrofan. And now I'm walking like crazy. All night long such rubbish climbed into the eyes.

Ms Prostakova. What rubbish, Mitrofanushka?

Mitrofan. Yes, then you, mother, then father.

Ms Prostakova. How is it?

Mitrofan. As soon as I begin to fall asleep, then I see that you, mother, deign to beat the father.

Prostakov(to the side). Well, my trouble! Dream in hand!

Mitrofan(spread out). So I felt sorry.

Ms. Prostakova (with annoyance). Who, Mitrofanushka?

Mitrofan. You, mother: you are so tired, beating the father.

Ms Prostakova. Embrace me, my friend of the heart! Here, son, is one of my consolations.

Skotinin. Well, Mitrofanushka, I see you are a mother's son, not a father!

Prostakov. At least I love him as a parent should, this is a clever child, this is a reasonable child, an amusing, entertainer; sometimes I am beside myself with him and with joy I myself truly do not believe that he is my son.

Skotinin. Only now our amusing fellow is frowning at something.

Ms Prostakova. Why not send for a doctor to the city?

Mitrofan. No, no, mother. I'd rather get better on my own. I’ll run to the dovecote now, so maybe ...

Ms Prostakova. So maybe the Lord is merciful. Come, frolic, Mitrofanushka.

Mitrofan and Eremeevna depart.

EVENT V

Ms. Prostakova, Prostakov, Skotinin.

Skotinin. Why can't I see my bride? Where is she? In the evening there will be an agreement, so isn't it time for her to say that she is being married off?

Ms Prostakova. We'll make it, brother. If she is told this ahead of time, then she may still think that we are reporting to her. Although by my husband, however, I am a relative of hers; And I love that strangers listen to me.

Prostakov(Skotinin). To tell the truth, we treated Sofyushka like a real orphan. After her father, she remained a baby. Tom, with six months, as her mother, and my fiancé, had a stroke ...

Ms. Prostakova (showing that he baptizes his heart). The power of the cross is with us.

Prostakov. From which she went into the next world. Her uncle, Mr. Starodum, went to Siberia; and since for several years now there has been neither a rumor nor news about him, we consider him dead. We, seeing that she was left alone, took her to our village and oversee her estate as if it were our own.

Ms Prostakova. What, why are you so pissed off today, my father? Looking for a brother, he might think that we took her to us for the sake of interest.

Prostakov. Well, mother, how can he think it? After all, Sofyushkino's real estate cannot be moved to us.

Skotinin. And although the movable has been put forward, I am not a petitioner. I don't like to bother, and I'm afraid. No matter how much the neighbors offended me, no matter how much damage they did, I didn’t hit anyone with my forehead, and any loss, than to go after him, I’ll tear off my own peasants, and the ends are in the water.

Prostakov. That's true, brother: the whole neighborhood says that you are a masterful collector of dues.

Ms Prostakova. At least you taught us, brother father; and we can't. Since we took away everything that the peasants had, we can no longer tear anything off. Such trouble!

Skotinin. If you please, sister, I will teach you, I will teach you, just marry me to Sofyushka.

Ms Prostakova. Do you really like this girl?

Skotinin. No, I don't like a girl.

Prostakov. So in the neighborhood of her village?

Skotinin. And not villages, but the fact that in the villages it is found and what my mortal hunt is.

Ms Prostakova. To what, brother?

Skotinin. I love pigs, sister, and we have such large pigs in our neighborhood that there is not a single one of them that, standing on its hind legs, would not be taller than each of us with a whole head.

Prostakov. It's strange, brother, how relatives can resemble relatives. Our Mitrofanushka looks like an uncle. And he is a pig hunter from childhood, just like you. As he was still three years old, it happened, when he saw a pig, he would tremble with joy.

Skotinin. This is truly a curiosity! Well, brother, Mitrofan loves pigs because he is my nephew. There is some resemblance here; why am I so fond of pigs?

Prostakov. And there is some similarity, I think.

The same and both Prostakovs.

Ms. Prostakova(husband, go). There is nothing to override here. All century sir, you walk with your ears hanging out.
Prostakov. Yes, he himself and Pravdin have disappeared from my eyes. What am I to blame?
Ms. Prostakova(to Milo). A! my dad! Mister officer! I have now been looking for you all over the village; she knocked her husband down to bring you, father, the lowest thanksgiving for a good command.
Milo. For what, ma'am?
Ms Prostakova. Why, my father! The soldiers are so kind. So far, no one has touched the hair. Do not be angry, my father, that my freak missed you. Otrodu does not make sense to treat anyone. I was born so rotten, my father.
Milo. I don't blame you at all, ma'am.
Ms Prostakova. On him, my father, he finds such, in a local way, tetanus. Sometimes bulging eyes dead hour like a dug in. I didn't do anything with him; What could he not stand for me! You won't get through anything. If the tetanus goes away, then, my father, it will bring such game that you ask God for tetanus again.
Pravdin. At least, ma'am, you can't complain about his wicked temper. He is humble. ..
Ms Prostakova. Like a calf, my father, that's why everything in our house is spoiled. After all, it does not make sense for him to have strictness in the house in order to punish the guilty by way. I manage everything myself, father. From morning to evening, as if hanged by the tongue, I don’t lay my hands on it: either I scold, or I fight; That's how the house is kept, my father!
Pravdin(to the side). Soon it will be different.
Mitrofan. And today my mother deigned to be busy with the servants all morning.
Ms. Prostakova(to Sophia). Cleaned up the rooms for your kind uncle. I'm dying, I want to see this respectable old man. I heard a lot about him. And his villains only say that he is a little gloomy, and that he is so prejudiced, and if he loves someone, he will love him directly.
Pravdin. And whoever he does not love, he bad man. (To Sofya.) I myself have the honor of knowing your uncle. And besides, from many I heard things about him that inspired true reverence for him in my soul. What is called in him sullenness, rudeness, that is, one action of his straightforwardness. From his birth, his tongue did not say "yes" when his soul felt "no."
Sophia. But he had to get his happiness by labor.
Ms Prostakova. God's grace to us, we succeeded. I want nothing so much as his paternal mercy to Mitrofanushka. Sofyushka, my soul! Would you like to see Uncle's room?

Sophia leaves.

Ms Prostakova. I gaped again, my father; Yes, if you please, sir, to see her off. The legs didn't come off.
Prostakov(departing). They didn’t withdraw, but they buckled.
Ms. Prostakova(to guests). My only concern, my only joy is Mitrofanushka. My age is passing. I cook it for people.

Here appear Kuteikin with a book of hours, and Tsyfirkin with a slate and slate. Both of them make signs and ask Eremeevna: should I enter? She beckons them, but Mitrofan waves them off.

Ms. Prostakova(not seeing them, continues). Perhaps the Lord is merciful, and happiness is written for his family.
Pravdin. Look around, ma'am, what's going on behind you!
Ms Prostakova. A! This, father, is Mitrofanushka's teachers, Sidorych Kuteikin...
Eremeevna. And Pafnutich Tsyfirkin.
Mitrofan(to the side). Shoot them and take them with Eremeevna.
Kuteikin. Peace to the master's house and many years from children and households. Tsyfirkin. We wish your honor a hundred years, yes twenty, and even fifteen, countless years.
Milo. Ba! This is our soldier brother! Where did it come from, my friend?
Tsyfirkin. There was a garrison, your honor! And now he's gone clean.
Milo. What are you eating?
Tsyfirkin. Somehow, your honor! A little bit of passion fruit arithmetic, so I eat in the city near the clerks at the accounting department. The Lord has not revealed science to everyone: so whoever does not understand himself hires me either to believe the account, or to sum up the results. That's what I eat; I do not like to live idly. In my spare time, I teach children. Here, for the third year, their nobility and the guy have been fighting over broken lines, but something is not glued well; Ah and the truth, man on man not comes.
Ms Prostakova. What? What are you, Pafnutich, lying? I didn't listen.
Tsyfirkin. So. I reported to his nobility that in ten years you cannot hammer into another stump what another catches in flight.
Pravdin(to Kuteikin). And you, Mr. Kuteikin, aren't you one of the scientists? Kuteikin. From scientists, your highness! Seminaries of the local diocese. I went to rhetoric, but God willing, I turned back. He submitted a petition to the consistory, in which he wrote: "Such and such a seminarian, from church children, fearing the abyss of wisdom, asks her to be dismissed." To which a gracious resolution soon followed, with the note: "Suit such and such a seminarian from any teaching: it is written for there is, do not cast pearls before pigs, but they will not trample him underfoot."
Ms Prostakova. Where is our Adam Adamych?
Eremeevna. I was pushed towards him, but by force I carried my legs away. Smoke pillar, my mother! Strangled, damned, with tobacco. Such a sinner.
Kuteikin. Empty, Eremeevna! There is no sin in smoking tobacco.
Pravdin(to the side). Kuteikin is also smart!
Kuteikin. In many books it is allowed: in the psalter it is printed: "And cereal for the service of man."
Pravdin. Well, where else?
Kuteikin. And the same thing is printed in another psalter. Our archpriest has a small one in an octagon, and in the same one.
Pravdin(to Mrs. Prostakova). I don't want to interfere with your son's exercises; obedient servant.
Milo. Not me, sir.
Ms Prostakova. Where are you, my lords?
Pravdin. I will take him to my room. Friends, having not seen each other for a long time, have a lot to talk about.
Ms Prostakova. And where would you like to eat, with us or in your room? We just have our own family at the table, with Sofyushka ...
Milo. With you, with you, ma'am.
Pravdin. We will both have this honor.

The village of landowners Prostakovs. Mrs. Prostakova is angry: the serf tailor Trishka, she believes, sewed a too narrow caftan for her beloved son, the sixteen-year-old underage Mitrofanushka. Trishka justifies herself by saying that she did not learn tailoring, but the lady does not want to listen to anything. Her husband, Prostakov, a narrow-minded and obedient man to his wife, expresses the opinion that the caftan is baggy. And it seems to Taras Skotinin, Prostakova's brother, that the caftan is "quite well sewn."

The caftan itself is a new thing for Mitrofanushka to collude with Skotinin and Sophia, a distant relative of the Prostakovs. Sophia's father died when she was still a baby. The girl grew up with her mother in Moscow. But six months have already passed since she remained an orphan. The Prostakovs took her in to "supervise her estate as if it were their own." Sophia's uncle, Starodum, left for Siberia. For a long time there was no news about him, and the Prostakovs believe that he died long ago.

Skotinin wants to marry Sofya - not because he likes the girl, not because he wants to take possession of her villages, but because there are a lot of ... pigs in these villages, and he is a big hunter before them. But Sophia still does not know who is predicted for her husband.

Sophia receives a letter from Starodum. Mrs. Prostakova, having heard about this, is extremely annoyed: her hopes did not come true, her uncle turned out to be alive. Prostakova accuses Sofya of lying: the letter, they say, is amorous. But she cannot verify the statement, because she is illiterate. Her husband and brother are also not much of a reader. They are rescued by the guest Pravdin. He reads a letter in which Starodum informs his niece that he makes her the heiress of his fortune, acquired by him in Siberia, which gives an income of ten thousand a year. Mrs. Prostakova is amazed by this news. She gets new idea: to give Sophia for his son, the ignoramus Mitrofan.

Soldiers pass through the village of Prostakov. They are led by officer Milon. He meets here his old friend, Pravdin. He says that he is a member of the governor's board. Pravdin travels around the district and especially pays attention to the "evil-tempered ignoramuses" who mistreat their people. It was precisely such ignoramuses that he found in the person of the Prostakovs.

Milon, on the other hand, says that he is in love and has been separated from his beloved for more than six months. Recently, he learned that his beloved was left an orphan and some distant relatives took her to their villages ... At the moment when Milon talks about this, he suddenly sees his beloved - this is Sophia.

The lovers are happy to meet. But Sophia says that Mrs. Prostakova wants to marry her to Mitrofanushka. Milon is tormented by jealousy. True, she weakens when he learns more about his "rival".

Skotinin, passing by, unceremoniously declares his views on Sophia. Pravdin tells him about Mrs. Prostakova's plans. Skotinin is furious. Mitrofan catches his eye, being led to study by his nanny Eremeevna. The uncle wants to explain himself to his nephew and was already attacking him with his fists. But Yeremeyevna shields Mitrofanushka with her body and drives Skotinin away.

Mitrofanushka's teachers come: Sidorych - Kuteikin and Pafnutich - Tsyfirkin. Kuteikin, a deacon from Pokrov, who did not finish his studies at the seminary, teaches Mitrofan to read and write according to the Book of Hours and the Psalter. And Tsyfirkin, a retired sergeant, is a teacher of arithmetic.

Mitrofan refuses to study. He complains to his mother that after his uncle's "task" learning does not come to his mind. Eremeevna tells about the collision with Skotinin. Prostakova comforts her son, promises to marry him soon. She orders the teachers to be fed dinner and sent again. The lady is dissatisfied with Eremeevna: she “did not bite into Skotinin’s mug” and “did not pull his snout up to his ears.” Prostakova is going to “transfer” with her brother in her own way. Zealous Eremeyevna cries out of resentment. The teachers console her.

Starodum arrives. Before showing himself to the owners, he talks with an old acquaintance, Pravdin. Starodum recalls his father, who served Peter the Great, praises those times. Starodum came to free his niece from "ignoramuses without a soul." He was forced to leave the public service. When Starodum was still serving in the military, he became friends with the young count. Upon the declaration of war, Starodum hurried to the army, and the count evaded this. And soon after that, the count was promoted to the rank, and Starodum, wounded in the war, was bypassed. After retiring, Starodum came to St. Petersburg to the court. But later he decided that "it is better to lead a life at home than in someone else's front."

Starodum meets Sofya and promises to take his niece away from the Prostakovs. The conversation was interrupted by the appearance of Prostakova and Skotinin. Sister and brother fight, and Milon separates them. This scene amuses the old-timer. Mrs. Prostakova is annoyed by the stranger's fun, but, having learned that this is Starodum, she changes her tone to the most servile and obsequious. She wants to seduce herself to a wealthy relative and contribute to the marriage of Mitrofanushka to Sophia.

But Starodum promises to take Sophia to Moscow the very next morning in order to marry her there to some "young man of great merit." This news plunges everyone into despondency, and Sophia "seems amazed." Then Starodum tells her that the choice of a worthy groom is entirely in her will. It brings hope back to everyone. Mrs. Prostakova boasts before Starodum about the formation of Mitrofanushka. She is especially pleased with the German Adam Adamych Vralman, whom she hired for five years. She pays him three hundred rubles a year (other teachers - ten). Vralman teaches Mitrofan "in French and all sciences." But the main thing is that he "does not captivate the child."

Meanwhile, Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin are sad that the exercise is not going very well. Mitrofan has been studying arithmetic for the third year, but "he can't count three." He has been studying the diploma for the fourth year, and still “he won’t make out a new line.” And the whole trouble is that Vralman indulges a lazy student and interferes with his studies.

Mrs. Prostakova persuades her son to learn. He demands that there be an agreement as soon as possible: “I don’t want to study, I want to get married.” Tsyfirkin sets two tasks for Mitrofan. But the mother intervenes and does not allow them to be solved. In general, arithmetic seems to her an empty science: “There is no money - what to count? There is money - we will consider it good even without Pafnutich. Tsyfirkin has to finish the lesson. His place is taken by Kuteikin. Mitrofan senselessly repeats after him lines from the Book of Hours. Here comes Vralman. He explains to Mrs. Prostakova that it is very dangerous to stuff your head too much. Vralman believes that one can do without Russian literacy and arithmetic. Mitrofanushka, he says, only needs to know how to live in the world. Vralman lets Mitrofan frolic.

Tsyfirkin and Kuteikin want to beat Vralman. The retired sergeant brandishes the board, and the sexton - the Book of Hours, but the German manages to escape.

Sophia is reading Fenelon's book on the upbringing of girls. Starodum talks with her about virtue. He receives a letter from the Count of Chestan. This is Uncle Milon, who wants to marry his nephew to Sophia. Talking to Sophia about her marriage, Starodum again notices that she is embarrassed ... Then Pravdin and Milon appear. Pravdin introduces Milon to Starodum. It turns out that Milon in Moscow often visited the house of Sophia's mother, and she loved him like a son. Starodum, talking with Milon, is convinced that he is dealing with a worthy person. Milon asks for Sophia's hand, mentioning his "mutual inclination" with the girl. Starodum is happy to learn that Sophia has chosen exactly the one whom he himself reads to her as her husband. He agrees to this marriage.

But other contenders for Sophia's hand know nothing and do not leave their hopes. Skotinin begins to talk about the antiquity of his kind. Starodum jokingly pretends to agree with him on everything. Mrs. Prostakova invites Starodum to see how Mitrofanushka is learned. Sofya's uncle pretends to be delighted with Mitrofanushka's learning. However, he refuses both Skotinin and Mitrofanushka, saying that Sophia has already been agreed. He announces that he will leave with Sophia at seven in the morning. But Mrs. Prostakova decides that before that time she will have time to "put on her own." She places sentries around the house.

Pravdin receives a package; he is ordered to take custody of the house and villages of the Prostakovs at the first occasion when Prostakov's temper threatens the safety of the people subject to her. Pravdin tells Starodum about this. Their conversation is interrupted by noise...

Prostakova's people are dragging the resisting Sophia to the carriage - to marry Mitrofanushka. Milon, who caught this scene, frees the bride. Pravdin threatens that Prostakova will be brought to trial as a "violator of civil peace." Mrs. Prostakova violently repents of her act. Starodum and Sophia forgive her. Prostakova is glad for forgiveness: now she will take revenge on her servants for the failure that has occurred! But she fails to do this: Pravdin announces that, by government decree, he takes custody of the house and villages of the Prostakovs.

Skotinin goes back to his place, to his favorite stables. Mrs. Prostakova asks Pravdin to give her power for at least three days. But he does not agree. He calls teachers to pay them off. Eremeevna brings Kuteikin, Tsyfirkin and Vralman. Pravdin lets them go. Kuteikin demands to be paid for his studies, for worn out boots... But Tsyfirkin refuses to pay, because Mitrofanushka hasn't learned anything. For such generosity Starodum, Milon and Pravdin give him money. And Pravdin offers Kuteikin to settle accounts with the mistress herself. He exclaims in horror: "I retreat from everything." In Vralman, Starodum recognizes his former coachman. It turns out that Vralman could not find a job as a coachman anywhere and he had to become a teacher. Starodum agrees to take him back as a coachman.

Starodum, Sofya and Milon are going to leave. Prostakova hugs Mitrofanushka: “You are the only one left with me ...” But her son is rude to her. The mother faints. Pravdin decides to send Mitrofan to serve. Waking up, Mrs. Prostakova laments: “I died completely ...” And Starodum, pointing to her, says: “Here are the evil spirits worthy fruits!»

CHARACTERS: Prostakov. Mrs. * Prostakova, his wife. Mitrofan, their son, is undersized. ** Eremeevna, mother *** Mitrofanova. Pravdin. Starodum. Sophia, niece of Starodum. Milo. Mr. Skotinin, brother of Mrs. Prostakova. Kuteikin, seminarian. Tsyfirkin, retired sergeant. Vralman, teacher. Trishka, tailor. Servant of Prostakov. Starodum's valet. Action in the village of Prostakov. * Mrs. - Abbreviated spelling of the word "Ms." In the future, a more common abbreviation is adopted - Ms. ** So the nobles were officially called, mostly young, who did not receive a document on education and did not enter the service. At the same time, the word "undergrowth" meant any nobleman who had not reached the age of majority. *** Mom, that is, the nurse. ACT FIRST SCENE I Mrs. Prostakova, Mitrofan, Eremeyevna Mrs. Prostakova (examining Mitrofan's caftan). The coat is all ruined. Eremeevna, bring in the swindler Trishka here. (Yeremeevna moves away.) He, the thief, has taunted him everywhere. Mitrofanushka, my friend, I'm having some tea, it's squeezing you to death. Call your father here. Mitrofan leaves. SCENE II Mrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Trishka Mrs. Prostakova (Trishke). And you, cattle, come closer. Didn't I tell you, thieves' mug, that you let your caftan go wider. The child, the first, is growing, the other, the child, and without a narrow caftan of delicate build. Tell me, idiot, what's your excuse? Trishka. Why, madame, I was self-taught. I then reported to you: well, if you please, give it to the tailor. Ms Prostakova. So is it really necessary to be a tailor in order to be able to sew a caftan well. What a beastly argument! Trishka. Why, ma'am, the tailor studied, but I didn't. Ms Prostakova. He also argues. A tailor learned from another, another from a third, but who did the first tailor learn from? Speak, cattle. Trishka. Yes, the first tailor, perhaps, sewed worse than mine. Mitrofan (runs in). Called my father. I dared to say: immediately. Ms Prostakova. So go and get him out, if you don’t call for good. Mitrofan. Yes, here is the father. SCENE III The same and Prostakov Mrs. Prostakova. What, what are you trying to hide from me? Here, sir, what I have lived with your indulgence. What is the son's new thing to his uncle's conspiracy? What caftan Trishka deigned to sew? Prostakov (stammering from timidity). Me...a little baggy. Ms Prostakova. You yourself are baggy, smart head. Prostakov. Yes, I thought, mother, that you think so. Ms Prostakova. Are you blind yourself? Prostakov. With your eyes mine see nothing. Ms Prostakova. That's the kind of hubby the Lord has given me: he doesn't know how to make out what is wide and what is narrow. Prostakov. In this I believed you, mother, and I believe. Ms Prostakova. So believe the same and the fact that I do not intend to indulge the lackeys. Go, sir, and now punish... SCENE IV The same and Skotinin Skotinin. Whom? for what? On the day of my collusion! I ask you, sister, for such a holiday to postpone the punishment until tomorrow; and tomorrow, if you please, I myself will gladly help. If it wasn't for me Taras Skotinin, if I don't have any fault to blame. In this, sister, I have the same custom with you. Why are you so angry? Ms Prostakova. Yes, brother, I will send to your eyes. Mitrofanushka, come here. Is this coat baggy? Skotinin. No. Prostakov. Yes, I myself can already see, mother, that it is narrow. Skotinin. I don't see that either. The caftan, brother, is quite well made. Mrs. Prostakova (Trishke). Get out, cattle. (Eremeevna.) Come on, Eremeevna, let the child have breakfast. After all, I have tea, soon the teachers will come. Eremeevna. He already, mother, deigned to eat five buns. Ms Prostakova. So you're sorry for the sixth, you bastard? What zeal! Feel free to watch. Eremeevna. Hello, mother. After all, I said this for Mitrofan Terentyevich. Protoskoval until morning. Ms Prostakova. Ah, mother of God! What happened to you, Mitrofanushka? Mitrofan. Yes, mother. Yesterday, after dinner, I had a seizure. Skotinin. Yes, it is clear, brother, you had a hearty supper. Mitrofan. And I, uncle, hardly ate supper at all. Prostakov. I remember, my friend, you deigned to eat something. Mitrofan. What! Three slices of corned beef, yes hearth, I don’t remember, five, I don’t remember, six. Eremeevna. At night every now and then he asked for a drink. The whole jug deigned to eat kvass. Mitrofan. And now I'm walking like crazy. All night long such rubbish climbed into the eyes. Ms Prostakova. What kind of rubbish, Mitrofanushka? Mitrofan. Yes, then you, mother, then father. Ms Prostakova. How is it? Mitrofan. As soon as I begin to fall asleep, then I see that you, mother, deign to beat the father. Prostakov (aside). Well! my trouble! dream in hand! Mitrofan (relaxing). So I felt sorry. Mme. Prostakova (with annoyance). Who, Mitrofanushka? Mitrofan. You, mother: you are so tired, beating the father. Ms Prostakova. Embrace me, my friend of the heart! Here, son, is one of my consolations. Skotinin. Well, Mitrofanushka! You, I see, are a mother's son, not a father's. Prostakov. At least I love him as a parent should, this is a clever child, this is a reasonable child, an amusing, entertainer; sometimes I am beside myself with him, with joy I myself truly do not believe that he is my son, Skotinin. Only now our amusing fellow is frowning at something. Ms Prostakova. Why not send for a doctor to the city? Mitrofan. No, no, mother. I'd rather get better on my own. I'll run to the dovecote now, so maybe ... Mrs. Prostakova. So maybe the Lord is merciful. Come, frolic, Mitrofanushka. Mitrofan and Yeremeevna depart. SCENE V Mrs. Prostakova, Prostakov, Skotinin Skotinin. Why can't I see my bride? Where is she? In the evening there will be an agreement, so isn't it time for her to say that she is being married off? Ms Prostakova. We'll make it, brother. If she is told this ahead of time, then she may still think that we are reporting to her. Although by my husband, however, I am a relative of hers; And I love that strangers listen to me. Prostakov (Skotinin). To tell the truth, we treated Sofyushka like a real orphan. After her father, she remained a baby. For half a year, as her mother, and my fiancé, a stroke began ... Mrs. Prostakova (shows that she is baptizing her heart). The power of the cross is with us. Prostakov. From which she went into the next world. Her uncle, Mr. Starodum, went to Siberia; and since for several years now there has been neither a rumor nor news about him, we consider him dead. We, seeing that she was left alone, took her to our village and oversee her estate as if it were our own. Ms Prostakova. Why are you so upset today, my father? Another brother might think that we took her to us for the sake of interest. Prostakov. Well, mother, how can he think it? After all, Sofyushkino's real estate cannot be moved to us. Skotinin. And although the movable has been put forward, I am not a petitioner. I don't like to bother, and I'm afraid. No matter how much the neighbors offended me, no matter how much damage they did, I didn’t hit anyone with my forehead, and any loss, than to go after him, I’ll tear off my own peasants, and the ends are in the water. Prostakov. That's true, brother: the whole neighborhood says that you are a masterful collector of dues. Ms Prostakova. If only you would teach us, brother father; and we can't. Since we took away everything that the peasants had, we can no longer tear anything off. Such trouble! Skotinin. If you please, sister, I will teach you, I will teach you, just marry me to Sofyushka. Ms Prostakova. Do you really like this girl? Skotinin. No, I don't like a girl. Prostakov. So in the neighborhood of her village? Skotinin. And not villages, but the fact that in the villages it is found and what my mortal hunt is. Ms Prostakova. To what, brother? Skotinin. I love pigs, sister, and we have such large pigs in our neighborhood that there is not a single one of them that, standing on its hind legs, would not be taller than each of us by a whole head. Prostakov. It's strange, brother, how relatives can resemble relatives! Our Mitrofanushka is all like an uncle - and he has grown up to pigs as much a hunter as you are. As he was still three years old, it happened, when he saw a pig, he would tremble with joy. Skotinin. This is truly a curiosity! Well, brother, Mitrofan loves pigs because he is my nephew. There is some resemblance here; why am I so addicted to pigs? Prostakov. And there are some similarities. This is how I argue. SCENE VI The same and Sophia. Sofya entered, holding a letter in her hands and looking cheerful. Mrs. Prostakova (Sofya). What is so cheerful, mother, what made you happy? Sophia. I have just received good news. Uncle, about whom we have known nothing for so long, whom I love and revere as my father, has recently arrived in Moscow. Here is the letter I received from him. Mme. Prostakova (frightened, angrily). How! Starodum, your uncle, is alive! And you deign to conceive that he is risen! Here's some fancy stuff! Sophia. Yes, he never died. Ms Prostakova. Didn't die! And why can't he die? No, madame, these are your inventions, in order to intimidate us with your uncles, so that we would give you free will. Uncle is a smart man; he, seeing me in the hands of others, will find a way to help me out. That's what you're glad about, ma'am; however, perhaps not much fun; your uncle, of course, did not resurrect. Skotinin. Sister! Well, if he didn't die? Prostakov. God forbid he didn't die! Mrs. Prostakova (to her husband). How did he not die! What are you confusing grandma? Don't you know that for several years from me he has been remembered in memorials for his repose? Surely my sinful prayers did not reach! (To Sofya.) A letter to me, perhaps. (Almost vomits.) I bet it's some kind of amorous one. And guess who. This is from the officer who was looking to marry you and whom you yourself wanted to marry. Yes, that beast without my asking gives you letters! I'll get there. Here's what we've come up with. Write letters to girls! Girls can read and write! Sophia. Read it for yourself, sir. You will see that nothing could be more innocent. Ms Prostakova. Read it yourself! No, madame, I, thank God, have not been brought up like that. I can receive letters, but I always order someone else to read them. (To her husband.) Read. PROSTAKOV (looking for a long time). Tricky. Ms Prostakova. And you, my father, apparently, were brought up as a red maiden. Brother, please do your best. Skotinin. I never read anything, sister! God delivered me from this boredom. Sophia. Let me read. Ms Prostakova. Oh mother! I know that you are a craftswoman, but I do not really believe you. Here, I have tea, teacher Mitrofanushkin will come soon. I tell him... Skotinin. Have you already begun to teach the young man to read and write? Ms Prostakova. Ah, father brother! She has been studying for four years now. Nothing, it’s a sin to say that we don’t try to educate Mitrofanushka. We pay money to three teachers. For the diploma, the deacon from the Intercession, Kuteikin, goes to him. He is taught arithmetic, father, by a retired sergeant Tsyfirkin. Both of them come here from the city. After all, the city is three miles away from us, father. He is taught in French and all sciences by the German Adam Adamych Vralman. This is three hundred rubles a year | We sit at the table with us. Our women wash his linen. Where necessary - a horse. A glass of wine at the table. At night, a tallow candle, and our Fomka directs the wig for nothing. To tell the truth, and we are pleased with him, father, brother. He does not captivate the child. After all, my father, while Mitrofanushka is still in his undergrowth, sweat * him and soak him up, and there, in a dozen years, when he enters, God forbid, into the service, he will endure everything. How happiness is written for someone, brother. Look, from our family of Prostakovs, lying on their side, they fly to their ranks. ** Why is their Mitrofanushka worse? Ba! Yes, by the way, our dear guest has come by the way. * Until. ** Nobles in the 18th century could receive ranks and ranks without serving, being on a long-term vacation. SCENE VII The same and Pravdin Mrs. Prostakova. Brother, my friend! I recommend you our dear guest, Mr. Pravdin; and to you, my lord, I recommend my brother. Pravdin. I am glad to have made your acquaintance. Skotinin. All right, my lord! what about last name? I didn't hear. Pravdin. I am called Pravdin, so you can hear. Skotinin. What native, my lord, where are the villages? Pravdin. I was born in Moscow, if you need to know, and my villages are in the local governorship. Skotinin. But do I dare to ask, my lord, I don’t know my name and patronymic, are there pigs in your villages? Ms Prostakova. Enough, brother, let's start about pigs. Let's talk about our grief. (To Pravdin.) Here, father! God told us to take the girl in our arms. She deigns to receive letters from her uncles. Uncles write to her from the other world. Do me a favor, my father, take the trouble to read it aloud to all of us. Pravdin. Excuse me, madam, I never read letters without the permission of those to whom they are written. Sophia. I ask you about it. You are doing me a great favor. Pravdin: If you order. (Reads.) "Dear niece! My deeds have forced me to live for several years in separation from my neighbors; and the distance has deprived me of the pleasure of having news of you! I am now in Moscow, having lived for several years in Siberia. I can serve as an example that one can make one's fortune through labor and honesty. By these means, with God's help of happiness, I have amassed ten thousand rubles an income..." Skotinin and both Prostakovs. Ten thousand! Pravdin (reads). "Thee heiress! Prostakov. Sophia's heiress! Skotinin. Her heiress! Mrs. Prostakova (rushing to hug Sofya) Congratulations, Sofyushka! Congratulations, my soul! I'm overjoyed! Now you need a groom. I, I best bride and I don’t want Mitrofanushka. That's uncle! That's a father! I myself still thought that God would protect him, that he was still alive. Skotinin (holding out his hand). Well, sister, hurry up. Mrs. Prostakova (quietly to Skotinin). Hold on, brother. First you need to ask her if she still wants to marry you? Skotinin. How! What a question! Are you going to report to her? Pravdin. May I read the letter? Skotinin. And for what? Yes, even if you read for five years, you will never read better than ten thousand. Mrs. Prostakova (to Sofya). Sofyushka, my soul! let's go to my bedroom. I desperately need to talk to you. (Take away Sofya.) Skotinin. Ba! So I see that today collusion is unlikely to be. SCENE VIII Pravdin, Prostakov, Skotinin, Servant Servant (to Prostakov, out of breath). Barin, barin! the soldiers came and stopped in our village. Prostakov. What trouble! Well! destroy us to the end. Pravdin. What are you afraid of? Prostakov. Oh, you dear father! We've already seen the views. I don't dare to go to them. Pravdin. Do not be afraid. Of course, they are led by an officer who will not allow any impudence. Come to him with me. I am sure that you are shy in vain. Pravdin, Prostakov and the servant depart. Skotinin. Everyone left me alone. Go for a walk in the barnyard. End of the first act ACT SECOND APPEARANCE I Pravdin, Milon Milon. How glad I am, my dear friend, that I accidentally saw you! Tell me, on what occasion... Pravdin. As a friend, I will tell you the reason for my being here. I have been designated as a member of the governorship here. I have a command to go around the local district; and besides, from my own feat * of my heart, I do not leave to notice those malevolent ignoramuses who, having full power over their people, use it for evil inhumanly. You know the mindset of our viceroy**. With what zeal he helps suffering humanity! With what zeal does he thereby fulfill the philanthropic forms of the higher authorities! In our region, we ourselves have experienced that where the viceroy is the same as the viceroy is depicted in the Institution***, there the well-being of the inhabitants is true and reliable. I've been living here for three days now. I found the landowner an innumerable fool, and his wife a wicked fury, whose infernal temper makes misfortune to their whole house. What are you thinking, my friend, tell me, how long will you stay here? Milo. I'm leaving here in a few hours. Pravdin. What's so soon? Have a rest. Milo. I can not. I was ordered to lead the soldiers without delay ... Yes, besides that, I myself am burning with impatience to be in Moscow. Pravdin. What's the reason? * Motives. ** Russia in 1775 was divided into fifty provinces. In some cases, two or three provinces were united in the hands of a representative of the supreme power - the governor, under whom the board was created. Pravdin was a member of the vicegerency board. *** The law on provinces was called "Institution for the administration of provinces Russian Empire ". It was published in 1775. Milo. I will reveal to you the secret of my heart, dear friend! I am in love, and I have the happiness of being loved. For more than six months, I have been separated from the one that is dearest to me in the world, and, what else more sadly, I heard nothing about her all this time. Often, attributing her silence to coldness, I was tormented by grief; but suddenly I received news that amazed me. They write to me that, after the death of her mother, some distant relatives took away her to her villages. I don't know who or where. Perhaps she is now in the hands of some greedy people who, taking advantage of her orphanhood, keep her in tyranny. I am beside myself at this thought. Pravdin. Such inhumanity I see it in this house as well. I caress *, however, soon put limits on the wickedness of my wife and the stupidity of my husband. I have already notified our boss about everything and I have no doubt that measures will be taken to calm them. * I caress myself with the thought, I hope. Milo. Happy are you, my friend, being able to alleviate the fate of the unfortunate I do not know what to do in my sad situation. Pravdin. Let me ask about her name. MILO (delighted). A! here she is. SCENE II The same and Sophia Sophia. Milon! do I see you? Pravdin. What happiness! Milo. Here is the one that owns my heart. Dear Sophia! Tell me, how do I find you here? Sophia. How many sorrows have I endured since the day of our separation! My unscrupulous in-laws... Pravdin. My friend! do not ask about what is so sad for her ... You will learn from me what rudeness ... Milo. Unworthy people! Sophia. Today, however, for the first time the hostess here changed her behavior with me. Hearing that my uncle was making me an heiress, she suddenly turned from being rude and quarrelsome to the very base, and I can see from all her innuendo that she will read me as a bride to her son. MILO (impatiently). And you did not show her the same hour of complete contempt? .. Sophia. No... Milo. And didn't tell her that you have a heartfelt obligation, that... Sophia. No... Milo. A! now I see my doom. My opponent is happy! I do not deny all the merits in it. He may be reasonable, enlightened, kind; but so that he could compare with me in my love for you, so that ... Sofya (grinning). My God! If you saw him, your jealousy would drive you to the extreme! MILO (indignantly). I imagine all his virtues. Sophia. You can't imagine everyone. Although he is sixteen years old, he has already reached the last degree of his perfection and will not go far. Pravdin. How far will it not go, madam? He finishes teaching hours; and there, one must think, they will also take up the psalter. * The Book of Hours and the Psalter are church books that were used to teach literacy, forcing the text to be confirmed by heart. Milo. How! that's my rival! A! dear Sophia! why are you tormenting me with a joke? You know how easily a passionate person is upset by the slightest suspicion. Tell me what did you say to her? Here Skotinin walks through the theater, lost in thought, and no one sees him. Sophia. I said that my fate depended on my uncle's will, that he himself promised to come here in his letter, which (to Pravdin) Mr. Skotinin did not allow us to finish reading. Milo. Skotinin! Skotinin. I! SCENE III The same and Skotinin Pravdin. How did you sneak up, Mr. Skotinin! I didn't expect this from you. Skotinin. I passed by you. Heard that they called me, I answered. I have such a custom: whoever screams - Skotinin! and I told him: me! What are you, brothers, and for real? I myself served in the guards and retired as a corporal. It used to happen that at the exit they would shout at the roll call: Taras Skotinin! and I wholeheartedly: I! Pravdin. We have not called you now, and you can go where you went. Skotinin. I didn’t go anywhere, but I wander, thinking. I have such a custom, as if I take something into my head, you cannot knock it out with a nail. With me, you hear, what entered the mind, it settled here. All I think about is that I only see in a dream, as in reality, and in reality, as in a dream. Pravdin. What would interest you so much now? Skotinin. Oh, brother, you are my heart friend! Miracles are happening to me. My sister quickly took me out of my village to hers, and if she takes me out of her village to mine just as quickly, then I can honestly say before the whole world: I went for nothing, brought nothing. Pravdin. What a pity, Mr. Skotinin! Your sister plays with you like a ball. Skotinin (embittered). How about a ball? Protect God; Yes, I myself will throw it so that they won’t find a whole village in a week. Sophia. Oh, how angry you are! Milo. What happened to you? Skotinin. You yourself, a smart person, think about it. My sister brought me here to get married. Now she herself drove up with a tap. "What do you want, brother, in your wife; if you had a good pig, brother." No sister! I want to have my own pigs. It's not easy to fool me. Pravdin. It seems to me, Mr. Skotinin, that your sister is thinking about a wedding, but not about yours. Skotinin. What a parable! I am not a hindrance to others. Everyone marry his bride. I won't touch someone else's, and don't touch my someone else's. (To Sofya.) Don't be afraid, darling. No one will beat you from me. Sophia. What does it mean! Here's another new one! Milo (shouted). What audacity! Skotinin (to Sofya). What are you afraid of? Pravdin (to Milon). How can you be angry with Skotinin! Sophia (to Skotinin). Am I destined to be your wife? Milo. I can hardly resist! Skotinin. You can’t drive around your betrothed, darling! You blame it on your happiness. You will live happily ever after with me. Ten thousand of your income! Eco happiness rolled; Yes, I was born so much and have not seen; yes, I will redeem all the pigs from the world for them; Yes, I, you hear, I will make everyone blow their trumpet: in the local neighborhood, and only pigs live. Pravdin. When only cattle can be happy among you, then your wife will have poor peace from them and from you. Skotinin. Bad peace! Ba! Ba! Ba! do I have enough lights? For her, I’ll give you a coal stove with a stove bench. You are my dearest friend! if I now, seeing nothing, have a special peck * for each pig, then I will find a litter box for my wife. * nibble - barn, room for cattle. Milo. What a beastly comparison! Pravdin (Skotinin). Nothing will happen, Mr. Skotinin! I'll tell you bluntly: your sister will read it for her son. Skotinin (embittered). How! Nephew to interrupt from his uncle! Yes, I'll break him like hell at the first meeting. Well, if I'm a pig's son, if I'm not her husband, or if Mitrofan is a freak. SCENE IV The same, Eremeevna and Mitrofan Eremeevna. Yes, learn a little. Mitrofan. Well, say another word, you old bastard! I'll get you off! I will again complain to my mother, so she will deign to give you a task in yesterday's way. Skotinin. Come here, buddy. Eremeevna. Feel free to go to your uncle. Mitrofan. Hello, uncle! What are you so bristling deigned? Skotinin. Mitrofan! Look straight at me. Eremeevna. Look, father. Mitrofan (Eremeevna). Yes, uncle, what kind of unseen? What will you see on it? Skotinin. Once again: look at me straighter. Eremeevna. Don't make uncle angry. There, if you please look, father, how he goggled his eyes, and you, if you please, also goggle yours. Skotinin and Mitrofan, bulging eyes, look at each other. Milo. Here's a good explanation! Pravdin. Will it end somehow? Skotinin. Mitrofan! You are now within a hair's breadth of death. Tell the whole truth; if I had not been afraid of sin, I would have those, without saying a word, by the legs, but about the corner. Yes, I do not want to destroy souls without finding the guilty one. Eremeevna (trembling). Oh, he's leaving! Where should my head go? Mitrofan. What are you, uncle? ate henbane? Yes, I don’t know why you deigned to jump on me. Skotinin. Look, don’t deny it, so that I don’t knock the spirit out of you at once in my heart. You can't put your hands up here. My sin. Blame God and the sovereign. Look, do not riveted on yourself, so as not to accept a needless beating. Eremeevna. God forbid the slander! Skotinin. Do you want to get married? Mitrofan (relaxing). For a long time, uncle, the hunt takes ... Skotinin (rushing at Mitrofan). Oh, you damned pig! .. Pravdin (not allowing Skotinin). Mr Skotinin! Do not let your hands go. Mitrofan. Mommy! shield me. Eremeevna (shielding Mitrofan, frenzied and raising her fists). I will die on the spot, but I will not give the child away. Sunsya, sir, just show yourself if you please. I'll scratch those walleyes. Skotinin (trembling and threatening, departs). I will get you. Eremeevna (trembling, following). I have my own hooks too! Mitrofan (after Skotinin). Get out, uncle; get out. SCENE V The same and both Prostakovs Mrs. Prostakova (to her husband, walking). There is nothing to override here. All your life, sir, you walk with your ears hanging out. Prostakov. Yes, he himself and Pravdin have disappeared from my eyes. What am I to blame? Mrs. Prostakova (to Milon). A! my dad! Mister officer! I have now been looking for you all over the village; she knocked her husband down to bring you, father, the lowest thanksgiving for a good command. Milo. For what, ma'am? Ms Prostakova. Why, my father! The soldiers are so kind. So far, no one has touched the hair. Do not be angry, my father, that my freak missed you. Otrodu does not make sense to treat anyone. I was born so rotten, my father. Milo. I don't blame you at all, ma'am. Ms Prostakova. On him, my father, he finds such, in a local way, tetanus. Sometimes a bulging eye is worth an hour, as if rooted to the spot. I didn't do anything with him; What could he not stand for me! You won't get through anything. If the tetanus goes away, then, my father, it will bring such game that you ask God for tetanus again. Pravdin. At least, ma'am, you can't complain about his wicked temper. He is humble. .. Ms. Prostakova. Like a calf, my father, that's why everything in our house is spoiled. After all, it does not make sense for him to have strictness in the house in order to punish the guilty by way. I manage everything myself, father. From morning to evening, as if hanged by the tongue, I don’t lay my hands on it: either I scold, or I fight; That's how the house is kept, my father! Pravdin (aside). Soon it will be different. Mitrofan. And today my mother deigned to be busy with the servants all morning. Mrs. Prostakova (to Sofya). Cleaned up the rooms for your kind uncle. I'm dying, I want to see this respectable old man. I heard a lot about him. And his villains only say that he is a little gloomy, and that he is so prejudiced, and if he loves someone, he will love him directly. Pravdin. And whoever he does not love is a bad person. (To Sofya.) I myself have the honor of knowing your uncle. And besides, from many I heard things about him that inspired true reverence for him in my soul. What is called in him sullenness, rudeness, that is, one action of his straightforwardness. From his birth, his tongue did not say "yes" when his soul felt "no." Sophia. But he had to get his happiness by labor. Ms Prostakova. God's grace to us, we succeeded. I want nothing so much as his paternal mercy to Mitrofanushka. Sofyushka, my soul! Would you like to see Uncle's room? Sophia leaves. Ms Prostakova. I gaped again, my father; Yes, if you please, sir, to see her off. The legs didn't come off. Prostakov (departing). They didn’t withdraw, but they buckled. Mrs. Prostakova (to the guests). One of my concerns, one of my joys is Mitrofanushka. My age is passing. I cook it for people. Here appear Kuteikin with a book of hours, and Tsyfirkin with a slate and slate. Both of them make signs and ask Eremeevna: should I enter? She beckons them, but Mitrofan waves them away. Mrs. Prostakova (continues not seeing them). Perhaps the Lord is merciful, and happiness is written for his family. Pravdin. Look around, ma'am, what's going on behind you! Ms Prostakova. A! This, father, is Mitrofanushka's teachers, Sidorych Kuteikin... Eremeevna. And Pafnutich Tsyfirkin. Mitrofan (aside). Shoot them and take them with Eremeevna. Kuteikin. Peace to the master's house and many years from children and households. Tsyfirkin. We wish your honor a hundred years, yes twenty, and even fifteen, countless years. Milo. Ba! This is our soldier brother! Where did it come from, my friend? Tsyfirkin. There was a garrison, your honor! And now he went to clean. * Milo. What are you eating? Tsyfirkin. Somehow, your honor! A little bit of passion fruit arithmetic, so I eat in the city near the clerks ** at the accounting department. The Lord has not revealed science to everyone: so whoever does not understand himself hires me either to believe the account, or to sum up the results. That's what I eat; I do not like to live idly. In my spare time, I teach children. Here, for the third year, their nobility and the guy have been fighting over broken lines ***, but something doesn’t stick well; Ah and the truth, man on man not comes. * Retired from service. ** Officials. *** Over fractions. Ms Prostakova. What? What are you, Pafnutich, lying? I didn't listen. Tsyfirkin. So. I reported to his nobility that in ten years you cannot hammer into another stump what another catches in flight. Pravdin (to Kuteikin). And you, Mr. Kuteikin, aren't you one of the scientists? Kuteikin. From scientists, your highness! Seminaries of the local diocese. * Went to rhetoric, ** yes, God willing, returned back. He submitted a petition to the consistory *** in which he wrote: "Such and such a seminarian, from church children, fearing the abyss of wisdom, asks her to dismiss her." To which a gracious resolution soon followed, with the note: "Suit such and such a seminarian from any teaching: it is written for there is, do not cast pearls before pigs, but they will not trample him underfoot." * A diocese is an ecclesiastical administrative district. ** Classes in seminaries were named after the main subjects studied at this level of the course: rhetoric, philosophy, theology. *** The Consistory is the church office, the administrative apparatus of the diocese. **** Petition, statement Ms. Prostakova. Where is our Adam Adamych? Eremeevna. I was pushed towards him, but by force I carried my legs away. Smoke pillar, my mother! Strangled, damned, with tobacco. Such a sinner. Kuteikin. Empty, Eremeevna! There is no sin in smoking tobacco. Pravdin (aside). Kuteikin is also smart! Kuteikin. In many books it is allowed: in the psalter it is printed: "And cereal for the service of man." Pravdin. Well, where else? Kuteikin. And the same thing is printed in another psalter. Our archpriest has a small one in an octagon, and in the same one. PRAVDIN (to Mrs. Prostakova). I don't want to interfere with your son's exercises; obedient servant. Milo. Not me, sir. Ms Prostakova. Where are you, my lords? Pravdin. I will take him to my room. Friends, having not seen each other for a long time, have a lot to talk about. Ms Prostakova. And where would you like to eat, with us or in your room? We just have our own family at the table, with Sofyushka ... Milon. With you, with you, ma'am. Pravdin. We will both have this honor. SCENE VI Mrs. Prostakova, Eremeevna, Mitrofan, Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin Mrs. Prostakova. Well, now at least read the rears in Russian, Mitrofanushka. Mitrofan. Yes, asses, how not. Ms Prostakova. Live and learn, my dear friend! Such a thing. Mitrofan. How not like that! Learning comes to mind. You should bring your uncles here! Ms Prostakova. What? What's happened? Mitrofan. Yes! that and look what is from uncle's task; and there from his fists and for the watch book. No, so I thank you, one end with me! Mrs. Prostakova (frightened). What, what do you want to do? Remember, sweetie! Mitrofan. After all, the river is close here. Dive, so remember what your name was. Mrs. Prostakova (beside herself). Dead! Dead! God be with you! Eremeevna. All uncle scared. Almost grabbed his hair. But for no reason, for nothing ... Mrs. Prostakova (in anger). Well... Eremeevna. Sticking to him, do you want to get married?.. Mrs. Prostakova. Well... Eremeevna. The child did not hide: for a long time, de, uncle, the hunt takes. How he will freak out, my mother! how she jumps up... Mrs. Prostakova (trembling). Well... and you, the beast, were dumbfounded, and you didn't bite into your brother's mug, and you didn't pull his snout up to his ears... Eremeevna. Accepted, it was! Oh, I accepted, yes ... Ms. Prostakova. Yes ... yes ... not your child, you beast! For you, even kill a roben to death. Eremeevna. Oh, creator, save and have mercy! Yes, if my brother didn’t deign to leave at that very moment, then I would have broken with him. Whatever God put in. If these were blunted (pointing to the nails), I wouldn’t even take care of the fangs. Ms Prostakova. All you bastards are zealous in words alone, and not in deeds ... Eremeevna (weeping). I'm not zealous for you, mother! You don’t know how to serve more ... I would be glad not only that ... you don’t regret your stomach * ... but you don’t want to. Kuteikin. Will you command us in your own way? Tsyfirkin. Where are we going, your honor? Ms Prostakova. You are still, the old witch, and burst into tears. Go, feed them with you, and after dinner immediately come back here. (To Mitrofan.) Come with me, Mitrofanushka. I won't let you out of my eyes now. As I tell you neschichko **, so live in the world will fall in love. Not a century for you, my friend, not a century for you to learn. Thanks to God, you already understand so much that you yourself will cock the children. (To Eremeyevna.) I'm not going to talk with my brother in your way. Let all good people see that mother and mother are dear. (Departs with Mitrofan.) * Life (Slav). ** Something, a secret. Kuteikin. Your life, Eremeevna, is like total darkness. Let's go to a meal, but with grief, first drink a cup. Tsyfirkin. And there is another, that's the multiplication. Eremeevna (in tears). Not easy will not take me away! I have been serving for forty years, but the mercy is still the same... Kuteikin. How great is the blessing? Eremeevna. Five rubles a year, and five slaps a day. Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin take her by the arms. Tsyfirkin. Let's see at the table what you earn all year round. End of Act II ACTIVITY THIRD APPEARANCE I Starodum and Pravdin Pravdin. As soon as they got up from the table, and I, going to the window, saw your carriage, then, without telling anyone, I ran out to meet you to hug you from the bottom of my heart. My sincere respect to you ... Starodum. It is precious to me. Trust me. Pravdin. Your friendship with me is all the more flattering because you cannot have it with others, except for such ... Starodum. What are you. I speak without ranks. The ranks begin, sincerity ceases. Pravdin. Your circumstance. .. Starodum. Many people laugh at him. I know it. Be so. My father raised me in the way of that time, but I did not find the need to re-educate myself. He served Peter the Great. Then one person was called you, not you. Then they did not yet know how to infect people so much that everyone considered himself to be many. But today many are not worth one. My father is at the court of Peter the Great... Pravdin. And I heard that he is in military service ... Starodum. In that century, courtiers were warriors, but warriors were not courtiers. The education given to me by my father was the best in that age. At that time, there were few ways to learn, and they still did not know how to fill an empty head with someone else's mind. Pravdin. The upbringing of that time really consisted of several rules ... Starodum. In one. My father constantly told me the same thing: have a heart, have a soul, and you will be a man at all times. Fashion for everything else: fashion for minds, fashion for knowledge, like buckles, buttons. Pravdin. You are speaking the truth. The direct dignity in a person is the soul ... Starodum. Without her, the most enlightened smart girl is a miserable creature. (With feeling.) An ignoramus without a soul is a beast. The smallest feat leads him into every crime. Between what he does and what he does for, he has no weights. From such and such animals I came to free... Pravdin. Your niece. I know it. She is here. Let's go... Starodum. Wait. My heart still boils with indignation at the unworthy act of the local hosts. Let's stay here for a few minutes. I have a rule: in the first movement, do not start anything. Pravdin. They know how to observe your rare rule. Starodum. The experiences of my life have taught me that. Oh, if I had previously been able to control myself, I would have had the pleasure of serving the fatherland longer. Pravdin. In what way? Incidents with a person of your qualities cannot be indifferent to anyone. You will greatly lend me if you tell... Starodum. I do not hide them from anyone so that others in a similar position will be smarter than me. Logged in military service , I met a young count, whose name I don’t even want to remember. He was younger than me in the service, the son of an accidental father*, brought up in a big society and had a special opportunity to learn something that was not yet part of our upbringing. I used all my strength to gain his friendship, in order to reward the shortcomings of my upbringing with my usual treatment of him. At the very time when our mutual friendship was being established, we accidentally heard that war had been declared. I rushed to hug him with joy. "Dear Count! Here's an opportunity for us to distinguish ourselves. Let's go to the army right away and make ourselves worthy of the title of nobleman, which the breed has given us." My friend the count frowned heavily and, embracing me, dryly: "Happy journey to you," he said to me: "and I caress that the father does not want to part with me." Nothing compares to the contempt I felt for him at that very moment. Then I saw that there is sometimes an immeasurable difference between casual people and respectable people, that in the big world there are very small souls, and that with great enlightenment one can be a great stinger**. * "Random people" in the 18th century were called people who enjoyed the special favors of kings and queens. ** Scared - miser, miser. Here is a swear word. Pravdin. Sheer truth. Starodum. Leaving him, I immediately went to where my position called me. Many occasions had I distinguished myself. My wounds prove that I did not miss them. The good opinion of my commanders and troops was a flattering reward of my service, when suddenly I received the news that the count, my former acquaintance, whom I disdained to remember, had been promoted, and I, who was then lying from wounds in a serious illness, was bypassed. Such injustice tore my heart to pieces, and I immediately resigned. Pravdin. What else should have been done? Starodum. It had to come to its senses. I did not know how to guard against the first movements of my irritated piety. Fervor did not allow me then to judge that a straightforwardly pious person is jealous of deeds, and not of ranks; that ranks are often solicited, and true respect must be deserved; that it is much more honest to be bypassed without guilt than to be granted without merit. Pravdin. But isn't a nobleman allowed to take resignations in any case? Starodum. Only in one thing: when he is internally convinced that the service to his fatherland does not bring direct benefit. A! then go. Pravdin. You give to feel the true essence of the office** of a nobleman. Starodum. Having taken my resignation, I came to Petersburg. Then blind chance led me in a direction that had never even crossed my mind. Pravdin. Where to? Starodum. To the yard***. They took me to the court. A? How do you think about it? Pravdin. How did you see this side? Starodum. Curious. At first it seemed strange to me that in this direction almost no one drives along the big straight road, and everyone goes around by a detour, hoping to get there as soon as possible. Pravdin. Though a detour, is the road spacious? Starodum. And it is so spacious that two, having met, cannot disperse. One knocks down the other, and the one who is on his feet never lifts the one who is on the ground. Pravdin. So that's why pride is here ... Starodum. This is not self-love, but, so to speak, self-love. Here they love themselves perfectly; they care about themselves alone; fuss about one real hour. You won’t believe it: I saw a lot of people here who, in all the cases of their lives, neither ancestors nor descendants have ever thought of. * Truly, indeed. ** Responsibilities, debt. *** Courtyard - the immediate environment of the sovereign, courtiers. Pravdin. But those worthy people who serve the state at the court ... Starodum. ABOUT! those do not leave the court because they are useful to the court, but the rest because the court is useful to them. I was not among the first and did not want to be among the last. Pravdin. Of course, they didn’t recognize you at the courtyard? * Starodum. The better for me. I managed to get out without trouble; otherwise they would have survived me in one of two ways. Pravdin. What? Starodum. From the court, my friend, survive in two ways. Either they get angry at you, or they get angry at you. I did not wait for either one or the other. He reasoned that it was better to lead a life at home than in someone else's antechamber. Pravdin. So, you walked away from the court with nothing? (Opens his snuffbox.) Starodum (takes tobacco from Pravdin). How about nothing? Snuffbox price five hundred rubles. Two people came to the merchant. One, having paid money, brought home a snuffbox. Another came home without a snuffbox. And you think the other one came home with nothing? You're wrong. He brought back his five hundred rubles intact. I left the court without villages, without a ribbon **, without ranks, but I brought mine home intact, my soul, my honor, my rules. Pravdin. With your rules, people should not be let go from the court, but they must be called to the court. Starodum. Summon? What for? Pravdin. For what a doctor is called to the sick. Starodum. My friend! You're wrong. It is in vain to call a physician to the sick. Here the doctor will not help, unless he becomes infected. * Not understood. ** "Without a ribbon", that is, without receiving the first degree of one of the orders, the sign of which, in addition to the star, was a wide ribbon worn over the shoulder of the colors established for the order. SCENE II The same and Sofya Sofya (to Pravdin). My strength was gone from their noise. Starodum (aside). Here are the features of her mother's face. Here is my Sophia. SOPHIA (looking at Starodum). My God! He called me. My heart does not deceive me... Starodum (embracing her). No. You are my sister's daughter, my heart's daughter! SOPHIA (rushing into his arms). Uncle! I am overjoyed. Starodum. Dear Sophia! I learned in Moscow that you live here against your will. I am sixty years old. It happened to be often irritated, sometimes to be pleased with yourself. Nothing so tormented my heart as innocence in the nets of deceit. I have never been so pleased with myself as if I happened to wrest prey from the hands of vice. Pravdin. What a joy it is to be a witness! Sophia. Uncle! your favors to me... Starodum. You know that I am bound to life by you alone. You must do the consolation of my old age, and my cares are your happiness. Having retired, I laid the foundation for your upbringing, but I could not have founded your fortune otherwise than by being separated from your mother and from you. Sophia. Your absence grieved us unspeakably. Starodum (to Pravdin). In order to protect her life from the lack of the necessary, I decided to retire for several years to that land where they get money, without exchanging it for conscience, without vile length of service, without robbing the fatherland; where they demand money from the land itself, which is more just than people, knows no favoritism, but pays only labors faithfully and generously. Pravdin. You could be enriched, as I heard, incomparably more. Starodum. And for what? Pravdin. To be rich like others. Starodum. Rich! And who is rich? Do you know that all of Siberia is not enough for the whims of one person! My friend! Everything is in the imagination. Follow nature, you will never be poor. Follow people's opinions, you will never be rich. Sophia. Uncle! What truth you speak! Starodum. I have amassed so much that when you are married, the poverty of a worthy groom will not stop us. Sophia. For the rest of my life, your will will be my law. Pravdin. But, having given it away, it would not be superfluous to leave it to the children ... Starodum. Children? Leave wealth to children! Not in the head. They will be smart, they will manage without it; A stupid son wealth does not help. I saw good fellows in golden caftans, and with a lead head. No my friend! Cash is not cash worth. Golden blockhead * - all blockhead. * Statue. Pravdin. With all this, we see that money often leads to ranks, ranks usually lead to nobility, and respect turns out to be noble. Starodum. Reverence! One respect should be flattering to a person - sincere; and spiritual respect is worthy only of those who are in ranks not according to money, but in the nobility not according to ranks. Pravdin. Your conclusion is undeniable. Starodum. Ba! What a noise! SCENE III The same, Mrs. Prostakova. Skotinin, Milon (Milon separates Mrs. Prostakova from Skotinin.) Mrs. Prostakova. Let it go! Let go, father! Give me a face, a face... Milo. I won't, sir. Don't get angry! Skotinin (in a fit of temper, adjusting his wig). Get off, sister! It will come to breaking, I will bend, so you will crack. Milon (to Mrs. Prostakova). And you forgot that he is your brother! Ms Prostakova. Ah, father! Heart took, let me fight! Milon (to Skotinin). Isn't she your sister? Skotinin. What a sin to hide, one litter; yes, you see how she squealed. Starodum (could not help laughing, to Pravdin). I was afraid to get angry. Now the laughter takes me. Ms Prostakova. Someone, over someone? What kind of newcomer is this? * * Newcomer. Starodum. Don't be angry, ma'am. I have never seen anything funnier in my life. Skotinin (holding his neck). Who laughs, but I don’t even have half a laugh. Milo. Didn't she hurt you? Skotinin. He shielded the front with both, so clung to the neck ... Pravdin. And it hurts?.. Skotinin. The nape of the neck was slightly pierced. In the next speech of Ms. Prostakova, Sophia tells Milon with her eyes that Starodum is in front of him. Milon understands her. Ms Prostakova. She blew it! .. No, brother .. you must exchange the image of the officer; and if not for him, then you would not shield yourself from me. I will stand up for my son. I will not let my father down. (To the Starodum.) That, sir, is not funny at all. Don't get angry. I have a mother's heart. Have you heard of a bitch giving out her puppies? Deigned to welcome no one knows to whom, no one knows who. Starodum (pointing to Sophia). Came to her, her uncle Starodum. Mrs. Prostakova (overwhelmed and scared). How! it's you! you, father! Our invaluable guest! Oh, I'm stupid! Yes, would it be so necessary to meet a father, on whom all hope, who we have one, like gunpowder * in the eye. Father! I'm sorry. I'm a fool. I can't figure it out. Where is the husband! where is the son? How in empty house I arrived! God's punishment! Everyone went crazy. Wench! Wench! Palashka! Wench! Skotinin (aside). That one! he! uncle something! * gunpowder - dust. SCENE IV The same and Eremeevna Eremeevna. What do you want? Ms Prostakova. Are you a girl, are you a dog's daughter? Do I have in my house, except for your nasty hari, and there are no maids! Where is the stick? Eremeevna. She fell ill, mother, lies in the morning. Ms Prostakova. Lies! Oh, she's a beast! Lies! Like she's noble! Eremeevna. Such a heat discordant, mother, incessantly delirious ... Ms. Prostakova. Delirious, you bastard! As if noble! Call you husband, son. Tell them that, by the grace of God, we waited for our dear Sofyushka's uncle; well, run, roll over. Starodum. Why make such a fuss, ma'am? By the grace of God, I am not your parent, and by the grace of God, I am a stranger to you. Ms Prostakova. Your unexpected arrival, father, took my mind away; Yes, at least let me give you a good hug, our benefactor! .. SCENE V The same, Prostakova, Mitrofan and Eremeevna In the next speech of Starodum, Prostakov and his son, who came out of the middle door, stood behind Starodum. The father is ready to hug him, as soon as the turn comes, and the son to approach the hand. Eremeyevna took a seat to one side and, with folded arms, stood as if rooted to the spot, bulging her eyes at Starodum with slavish subservience. STARODUM (reluctantly embracing Madame Prostakova). Mercy is superfluous, ma'am! I could have done very easily without her. (Tearing out of her hands, he turns around to the other side, where Skotinin, already standing with outstretched arms, immediately seizes him.) Starodum. Who did I fall for? Skotinin. It's me, sister brother. STARODUM (seeing two more, impatiently). Who else is this? PROSTAKOV (embracing). I am a wife's husband. Mitrofan (catching his hand). And I'm a mother's son. Milon (Pravdin). Now I won't introduce myself. Pravdin (to Milon). I will find an opportunity to introduce you later. STARODUM (without giving his hand to Mitrofan). This one catches kissing the hand. It can be seen that they cook in it big soul . Ms Prostakova. Speak, Mitrofanushka. Why, sir, should I not kiss your hand? You are my second father. Mitrofan. How not to kiss, uncle, your hand. You are my father... (To mother.) Which one? Ms Prostakova. Second. Mitrofan. Second? Second father, uncle. Starodum. I, sir, am neither your father nor your uncle. Ms Prostakova. Father, after all, a child, perhaps, prophesies his happiness: perhaps God will deign to be him and indeed your nephew. Skotinin. Right! Why am I not a nephew? Hey sister! Ms Prostakova. I, brother, will not bark with you. (To Starodum.) Otrodu, father, did not quarrel with anyone. I have such a temper. At least scold me, I won’t say a word for a century. Let, in his own mind, God pay the one who offends me, the poor one. Starodum. I noticed this, how soon you, madam, appeared from the door. Pravdin. And I have been a witness of her good nature for three days now. Starodum. I can't have this fun for so long. Sofyushka, my friend, tomorrow morning I will go with you to Moscow. Ms Prostakova. Ah, father! Why such anger? Prostakov. Why the disgrace? Ms Prostakova. How! We have to part with Sofyushka! With our cordial friend! I will fall behind with one melancholy of bread. Prostakov. And I'm already here, the fold is gone. Starodum. ABOUT! When you love her so much, I must make you happy. I'm taking her to Moscow in order to make her happy. I have been introduced to her as a suitor a certain young man of great merit. I will give it to him. Together. Ms Prostakova. Ah, tired! Milo. What do I hear! Sophia seems stricken. Skotinin. That's it! Prostakov threw up his hands. Mitrofan. Here's to you! Eremeevna nodded her head sadly. Pravdin shows an air of distressed surprise. Starodum (accepting all the confusion). What does it mean? (To Sofya.) Sofyushka, my friend, do you seem embarrassed to me? Did my intention upset you? I take the place of your father. Trust me that I know his rights. They will go no further than to avert the daughter's unfortunate inclination, and the choice of a worthy person depends entirely on her heart. Be calm, my friend! Your husband, worthy of you, whoever he may be, will have in me a true friend. Go for whoever you want. Everyone looks cheerful. Sophia. Uncle! Do not doubt my obedience. Milo (aside). Honorable man! Mrs. Prostakova (with a cheerful look). Here is the father! Here to listen! Go for whoever you want, as long as the person is worth it. Yes, my father, yes. Here, only suitors should not be missed. If there is a nobleman in the eyes, a young fellow ... Skotinin. He left the guys a long time ago. .. Ms. Prostakova. Who has enough, albeit a small one ... Skotinin. Yes, the pig factory is not bad ... Mrs. Prostakova. So in good hour , and Arkhangelsk. Skotinin. So a fun feast, but for the wedding. Starodum. Your advice is impartial. I see it. Skotinin. Then you will see how you recognize me more briefly. You see, it's sodomy here. In an hour, I'll come to you alone. This is where we'll get it right. I will say without boasting what I am, really, there are few of them. (Leaves.) Starodum. This is most likely. Ms Prostakova. You, father, do not wonder that my dear brother ... Starodum. Dear... Mrs. Prostakova. Yes, father. After all, I am the father of the Skotinins. The deceased father married the deceased mother. She was nicknamed the Priplodins. They had eighteen of us children; yes, except for me and my brother, everyone, by the power of the Lord, tried on. Others were dragged out of the bath of the dead. Three, having sipped milk from a copper pot, died. Two of the holy week fell from the bell tower; but the ones who got it didn’t stand on their own, father! Starodum. I see what your parents were like. Ms Prostakova. Old people, my father! This was not the age. We weren't taught anything. It used to happen that kind people would come to the priest, appease, appease, so that they could at least send their brother to school. By the way? The dead man is light with both hands and feet, the kingdom of heaven to him! Sometimes, deigns to shout: I’ll curse a child who learns something from the infidels, and if it wasn’t that Skotinin, who would want to learn something. Pravdin. You are, however, teaching your son something. Ms Prostakova. Yes, now the age is different, father! (To Starodum.) We do not regret the last crumbs, if only to teach our son everything! My Mitrofanushka does not get up for days because of the book. Motherly my heart. It’s a pity, a pity, but you’ll think: but there will be a kid anywhere. After all, now, father, he will be sixteen years old around the winter Nikola. The bridegroom to anyone, but still the teachers go around, they don’t lose an hour, and now two people are waiting in the hallway. (She winked at Yeremeevna to call them.) In Moscow, they accepted a foreigner for five years and, so that others would not lure, the police announced the contract. He agreed to teach what we want, but teach us what he himself knows how to teach. We fulfilled all our parental duty, we accepted the German and we pay him a third of the money in advance. I sincerely wish that you yourself, father, would admire Mitrofanushka and see what he learned. Starodum. I am a bad judge of that, madame. Mrs. Prostakova (seeing Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin). Here come the teachers! My mitrofanushka has no rest day or night. It is bad to praise your child, and where not unhappy will be the one whom God will bring to be his wife. Pravdin. That's all well and good: don't forget, however, ma'am, that your guest has now only arrived from Moscow and that he needs peace much more than your son's praises. Starodum. I confess that I would be glad to take a break both from the road and from all that I heard and saw. Ms Prostakova. Ah, my father! All is ready. She cleaned the room for you. Starodum. Thankful. (To Sofya.) Sofyushka, see me out. Ms Prostakova. And what are we? Allow me, my father, to guide me, and my son, and my husband. We all promise to go to Kyiv on foot for your health, if only to manage our business. Starodum (to Pravdin). When will we see you? After resting, I will come here. Pravdin. So I am here and will have the honor to see you. Starodum. Happy soul. (Seeing Milon, who bowed to him with reverence, bows to him courteously.) Madame Prostakova. So you are welcome. Except for the teachers, everyone leaves, Pravdin and Milon to one side, and the others to the other. SCENE VI Kuteikin and Tsyfirkin Kuteikin. What an abomination! You won't get anywhere in the morning. Here every morning will flourish and perish. Tsyfirkin. And our brother lives like this forever. Do not do business, do not run away from business. That's the trouble with our brother, how badly they feed, how today the food was gone by the local dinner ... Kuteikin. Yes, if Vladyka didn’t manage to make me, walking here, wander at the crossroads to our mallow, vzalka * would be like a dog in the evening. Tsyfirkin. The gentlemen here are kind commanders! .. Kuteikin. Have you heard, brother, what is life like for the local servants **, even though you are a serviceman, you have been to battles ***, fear and trembling will come to you ... * I wanted to eat (hungry - Slavic.). ** servants, servants. *** In battles. Tsyfirkin. Here on! Have you heard? I myself saw here a quick fire a day in a row for three hours. (Sighing) Oh, me! Sadness takes. Kuteikin (sighing). Oh, woe to me a sinner! Tsyfirkin. What did he sigh about, Sidorych? Kuteikin. And is your heart troubled in you, Pafnutevich? Tsyfirkin. You think about captivity ... God gave me a student, a boyar son. I've been fighting with him for the third year: I can't count three. Kuteikin. So we have one twist. I've been torturing my stomach for four years. Sit down for an hour, except for backs, he won’t make out a new line; Yes, and the backside mumbles, God forgive me, without a warehouse in warehouses, to no avail in rumors. Tsyfirkin. And who is to blame? Only he is a stylus in his hands, and the German is at the door. He has a coven because of the board, and they are glad to push me. Kuteikin. Is this my sin? Only a pointer in the fingers, a basurman in the eyes. A student on the head, and me on the neck. Tsyfirkin (with heat). I would give myself an ear to carry, if only this parasite would be scolded like a soldier. Kuteikin. At least now with whispers*, if only I’ll be a sinner** by the way. * Whips. ** The sinner's neck. SCENE VII The same, Mrs. Prostakova and Mitrofan Mrs. Prostakova. While he is resting, my friend, at least for the sake of appearance, study, so that it comes to his ears how you work, Mitrofanushka. Mitrofan. Well! And then what? Ms Prostakova. And then you get married. Mitrofan. Listen, mother, I will amuse you. I will learn; just to be last time and to be in agreement today. Ms Prostakova. The hour of the will of God will come! Mitrofan. The hour of my will has come. I don't want to study, I want to get married. You tricked me, blame yourself. Here I sat down. Tsyfirkin is sharpening the lead. Ms Prostakova. And I will swear right away. I'll knit a purse for you, my friend! Sofyushkina's money would have been used where to put it. Mitrofan. Well! Get the plank, garrison rat! Set what to write. Tsyfirkin. Your nobility will always bark idle. Mrs. Prostakova (at work). Ah, my God! Don't you dare even choose Pafnutich! Already angry! Tsyfirkin. Why be angry, your honor? We have a Russian proverb: the dog barks, the wind carries. Mitrofan. Set your butts, turn around. Tsyfirkin. All butts, your honor. After all, you will remain with tasks a century ago. Ms Prostakova. None of your business, Pafnutich. I am very pleased that Mitrofanushka does not like to step forward. With his mind, fly far, and God forbid! Tsyfirkin. Task. You deigned, on the butt *, to go along the road with me. Well, at least we'll take Sidorych with us. We found three ... * For example, Mitrofan (writes). Three. Tsyfirkin. On the road, on the butt, three hundred rubles. Mitrofan (writes). Three hundred. Tsyfirkin. It came to division. Smekni-tko, why on a brother? MITROFAN (calculating, whispering). Once three - three. Once zero is zero. Once zero is zero. Ms Prostakova. What, what, before the division? Mitrofan. Look at the three hundred rubles that they found, to divide the three. Ms Prostakova. He's lying, my dear friend. Found money, don't share it with anyone. Take everything for yourself, Mitrofanushka. Don't study this stupid science. Mitrofan. Hey, Pafnutich, ask another. Tsyfirkin. Write, your honor. For learning, you give me ten rubles a year. Mitrofan. Ten. Tsyfirkin. Now, it’s true, it’s not for anything, but if you, sir, had adopted something from me, it wouldn’t be a sin then to add ten more. Mitrofan (writes). Well, well, ten. Tsyfirkin. How much for a year? MITROFAN (calculating, whispering). Zero yes zero - zero. One and one... (Thinking.) Mrs. Prostakova. Do not work in vain, my friend! I will not add a penny; and for nothing. Science is not like that. Only you are tormented, and everything, I see, is emptiness. No money - what to count? There is money - let's consider it good even without Pafnutich. Kuteikin. Sabbath, right, Pafnutich. Two tasks are solved. After all, they will not lead to believe. Mitrofan. Never mind, brother. Mother is not mistaken here. Go now, Kuteikin, teach yesterday. Kuteikin (opens a book of hours. Mitrofan takes a pointer). Let's start with blessings. Follow me with attention. "But I am a worm..." * * I am a worm (Slavonic). Mitrofan. "But I am a worm..." Kuteikin. Worm, that is to say animal, cattle. In other words: "I am cattle." Mitrofan. "I am cattle." Kuteikin ( training voice). "Not a man." Mitrofan (also). "Not a man." Kuteikin. "Desecration of men". Mitrofan. "Desecration of men". Kuteikin "And uni..." PHENOMENON VIII The same and Vralman Vralman. Ay! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! Now I'm fizh! They want to kill the turnip! You are my mother! Crashed nat sfaey morning, dragged the cator tef mesesof, - so to say, asmo typhus f sfete. Tai foul to those damn slates. And with such a calaf only a palfan? Ear disposition *, ear fse is. * Location (French). Ms Prostakova. The truth, your truth, Adam Adamitch! Mitrofanushka, my friend, if learning is so dangerous for your little head, stop it for me. Mitrofan. And even more so for me. Kuteikin (closing the Book of Hours). The end and glory to God. Vralman. My mother! What is hot now? Son, there is a kakof, but the old FSUs were gone; or the son of the wise, so to speak, Aristotelis, but to the grave. Ms Prostakova. Ah, what a passion, Adam Adamitch! He same and so carelessly dined yesterday. Vralman. Rassuti-sh, mother of May, drank too much pruho: peda. And to fit a kaloushka at the nave is a bit of a sloppy pryukha; drink it too much and save it later! Ms Prostakova. Your truth, Adam Adamych; yeah what are you going to do? Child, without learning, go to the same Petersburg: they will say, you are a fool. There are a lot of smart people now. I'm afraid of them. Vralman. Why solder, my mother? A wise man nikakhta efo does not sate, nikakhta does not argue with him: but he does not get in touch with smart people, and so the blasphemy will be alive! Ms Prostakova. This is how you should live in the world, Mitrofanushka! Mitrofan. I myself, mother, am not a fan of smart girls. Your brother is always better. Vralman. Sfaya campaign is it the body? Ms Prostakova. Adam Adamych! Who will you choose from? Vralman. Do not collapse, my mother, do not collapse; what is your most precious son, there are millions, millions of them on the planet. How can he not screw up sepe campaigns? Ms Prostakova. It's for nothing that my son is a little sharp, agile. Vralman. Is it your body, the caps, who didn’t samarize the epho for ear? Russian Kramat! Arithmetic! Oh, hospot after mine, how the carcass and the body remains! How putto py rassiski tforyanin ear and could not advance in the world * without Russian kramat! * Move forward, play a role (French). Kuteikin (aside). Under the tongue you would have labor and illness. Vralman. How putto py to the arithmetic of dust, the sandy turaks are fierce! Tsyfirkin (aside). I'll count those ribs. You will fall for me. Vralman. It is shabby for him to sleep, how to sew on a fabric. I sleep sfet by heart. I myself terta kalash. Ms Prostakova. How can you not know big light , Adam Adamych? I am tea, and in Petersburg alone you have seen enough. Vralman. Tafolno, my mother, tafolno. I am always eager to watch the public. Pyfalo, about the prasnik of the sietutz in Katringof * carriages with hospots. I fse look at them. Pyfalo, I won’t get off the mower for a minute. * Ekateringof - a former suburb of St. Petersburg, where festive festivities were held. Ms Prostakova. What goat? Vralman (aside). Ay! ouch! ouch! ouch! What did I screw up! (Aloud.) You, mother, are dreaming about what to look at always better. So, pifalo, I sat on a snak carriage, and I looked at a Polish sfet with a scythe. Ms Prostakova. Of course you can see. A smart person knows where to climb. Vralman. Your worst son is also on the planet, somehow, with a lot of courage, to look fiercely and to touch it. Utalets! Mitrofan, standing still, rolls over. Vralman. Utalets! He will not stand still, like a teak horse of a pez usda. Go! Fort!* * Get out! (German). Mitrofan runs away. Mrs. Prostakova (smiling joyfully). The child, right, though the groom. Follow him, however, so that he does not anger the guest with playfulness without intent. Vralman. Sweat, my mother! Sallet bird! With him, your voices are top notch. Ms Prostakova. Farewell, Adam Adamitch! (Departs.) SCENE IX Vralman, Kuteikin, Tsyfirkin Tsyfirkin (scoffing). What an image! Kuteikin (laughing). Byword! Vralman. Why are you barking soups, nefezhi? Tsyfirkin (hitting his shoulder). And why did you frown your eyebrows, you Chukhon owl! Vralman. Oh! Ouch! slick paws! Kuteikin (hitting his shoulder). Cursed owl! What are you slapping with burkali? Vralman (quietly). I got lost. (Aloud.) Why are you freaking out, repyat, is it me? Tsyfirkin. Eat your own bread idly and give nothing to others; Yes, you still won’t get tired of making faces. Kuteikin. Your mouth always speaks pride, wicked one. VRALMAN (recovering from timidity). How do you go about being unfashionable in front of an eared person? I screeched. Tsyfirkin. And we will honor those. I'll board... Kuteikin. And I am a clock. Vralman. I'll fool around on the face. Tsyfirkin, waving his board, and Kuteikin with a book of hours. Tsyfirkin. I will open your face five times. Kuteikin. I will crush the teeth of the sinner. Vralman is running. Tsyfirkin. Aha! He raised his cowardly legs! Kuteikin. Direct your steps, damned one! Vralman (at the door). What fsyali, beast? Shuta suntes. Tsyfirkin. Gobbled up! We would give you a task! Vralman. I don't get drunk now, I don't get drunk. Kuteikin. Sat down, lawless! Are there many of you, basurmans? Send everyone! Vralman. They didn’t get along with atnim! Oh, prat, fsyali! Tsyfirkin. I'll take one ten! Kuteikin. In the morning I will beat all the sinful earth! End of Act Three ACT FOUR APPEARANCE I Sophia (alone. Looking at her watch). Uncle should be out soon. (Sitting down.) I'll wait for him here. (Pulls out a book and reads a few.) It's true. How not to be satisfied with the heart when the conscience is calm! (After reading a few again.) It is impossible not to love the rules of virtue. They are ways to happiness. (After reading a few, she glanced and, seeing Starodum, runs up to him.) SCENE II Sophia and Starodum Starodum. A! You are already here, my friend! Sophia. I've been waiting for you, uncle. I have now read a book. Starodum. What? Sophia. French. Fenelon *, on the education of girls. .Fenelon (1651-1715) - French writer, author of the novel "The Adventures of Telemachus", which was of a political and moralizing nature. Fenelon's book "On the Education of Girls" in Russian translation was published in 1763. Starodum. Fenelon? The author of Telemachus? Fine. I don't know your book, but read it, read it. Whoever wrote Telemachus will not corrupt morals with his pen. I fear for you the present sages. I happened to read from them everything that was translated into Russian. True, they strongly eradicate prejudices, but uproot virtue. Let's sit down. Both sat down. My heart desire is to see you as happy as possible in the light. Sophia. Your instructions, uncle, will make up all my well-being. Give me rules that I must follow. Lead my heart. It is ready to obey you. Starodum. I am pleased with the location of your soul. I will gladly give you my advice. Listen to me with such attention, with what sincerity I will speak. Closer. Sophia moves her chair. Sophia. Uncle! Every word of yours will be embedded in my heart. STARODUM (with important frankness). You are now in those years in which the soul wants to enjoy all its being, the mind wants to know, and the heart wants to feel. You now enter the light, where the first step often decides fate whole life where most often the first meeting takes place: minds corrupted in their concepts, hearts corrupted in their feelings. O my friend! Know how to distinguish, know how to stop with those whose friendship for you would be a reliable guarantee for your mind and heart. Sophia. I will use all my efforts to earn the good opinion of worthy people. But how can I avoid that those who see how I move away from them do not become angry with me? Is it possible, uncle, to find such a means that no one in the world would wish me harm? Starodum. The bad disposition of people who are not worthy of respect should not be distressing. Know that you never wish evil on those who are despised, but usually wish evil on those who have the right to despise. People envy more than one wealth, more than one nobility: and virtue also has its envious people. They try with all their might to corrupt the innocent heart in order to humiliate it to themselves; and the mind, which has not been tested, is deceived into believing its happiness in something other than what is needed. Sophia. Is it possible, uncle, that there are such pitiful people in the world in whom a bad feeling is born exactly from what is good in others. A virtuous person should take pity on such unfortunate ones. Starodum. They are pitiful, it is true; however, for this virtuous person does not stop going his own way. Think for yourself, what a misfortune it would be if the sun stopped shining so as not to dazzle weak eyes? Sophia. But tell me, please, are they to blame? Can any person be virtuous? Starodum. Trust me. Everyone will find enough strength in himself to be virtuous. It is necessary to want it decisively, and there it will be easier not to do that for which your conscience would chafe. Sophia. Who will warn a person, who will not allow him to do something for which his conscience torments him afterwards? Starodum. Who will beware? The same conscience. Know that conscience, like a friend, always warns before punishing like a judge. Sophia. So, therefore, it is necessary that every vicious person should really be worthy of contempt when he does badly, knowing what he is doing. It is necessary that his soul be very low, when it is not above a bad deed ... Starodum. And it is necessary that his mind should not be a direct mind, when he believes his happiness is not in what is necessary. Sophia. It seemed to me, uncle, that all people agreed on what to consider their happiness. Nobility, wealth. .. Starodum. Yes, my friend! And I agree to call a noble and rich happy. Let us first agree who is noble and who is rich. I have my calculation. I will calculate the degrees of nobility according to the number of deeds that the great master did for the fatherland, and not according to the number of deeds that I took upon myself out of arrogance; not by the number of people who stagger in his front, but by the number of people who are satisfied with his behavior and deeds. My noble person of course happy. My rich man too. According to my calculation, not the rich one who counts out money to hide it in a chest, but the one who counts out too much from himself in order to help someone who does not have what he needs. Sophia. How fair! How appearance blinds us! I myself have seen many times how they envy the one who is looking for the yard, which means ... Starodum. And they don’t know that at the court everyone means something and looks for something. They do not know that at the court all the courtiers and all pretend. No! There is nothing to envy here. Without noble deeds, a noble state is nothing. Sophia. Of course, uncle! And such a noble does not make anyone happy, except for himself alone. Starodum. How! But is he happy who is happy alone? Know that, no matter how noble he may be, his soul does not partake of direct pleasure. Imagine a man who would direct all his nobility to that only, so that he alone would be well, who would already reach the point where he himself had nothing left to desire. After all, then his whole soul would be occupied with one feeling, one illness: sooner or later it would overthrow. Tell me, my friend, is he happy who has nothing to desire, but something to fear? Sophia. I see the difference between being happy and actually being. Yes, this is incomprehensible to me, uncle, how can a person remember everything oneself? Do they not argue that one is indebted to the other? Where is the mind that is so praised? Starodum. How to be proud of your mind, my friend! The mind, if it is just a mind, is the most trifle. With fugitive minds we see bad husbands, bad fathers, bad citizens. Good manners gives him a direct price. Without it, a smart person is a monster. It is immeasurably higher than all the fluency of the mind. This is easy to understand for anyone who thinks carefully. Minds are many and many different. smart person it is easy to excuse if he does not have any quality of mind. An honest person cannot be forgiven in any way if some quality of the heart is missing in him. He needs to have everything he needs. The dignity of the heart is inseparable. An honest person must be a perfectly honest person. Sophia. Your explanation, uncle, is similar to my inner feeling, which I could not explain. I now vividly feel both the dignity of an honest man and his office. Starodum. Job title! A! My friend! How this word is in everyone's language and how little it is understood! The hourly use of this word has so familiarized us with it that, having pronounced it, a person no longer thinks anything, feels nothing. If people understood its importance, no one could utter it without spiritual reverence. Think about what a job is. This is the sacred vow that we owe to all those with whom we live and on whom we depend. If the office were performed in this way, as they say about it, every state of people would remain with their piety and would be completely happy. A nobleman, for example, would consider it a first dishonor not to do anything when he has so much to do: there are people to help; there is a fatherland to serve. Then there would be no such nobles, whose nobility, one might say, was buried with their ancestors. A nobleman, not worthy of being a nobleman - I don’t know anything meaner than him in the world. Sophia. Is it possible to humiliate yourself like that? Starodum. My friend! What I said about the nobleman, let's now extend it to a person in general. Each has their own positions. Let us see how they are fulfilled, what, for example, the husbands of the present world are for the most part, let us not forget what the wives are like. Oh my dear friend! Now I need all your attention. Let us take as an example an unfortunate house, of which there are many, where the wife has no cordial friendship for her husband, nor he for the wife of power of attorney; where each for his part has turned away from the path of virtue. Instead of a sincere and condescending friend, the wife sees in her husband a rude and depraved tyrant. On the other hand, instead of meekness, sincerity, the qualities of a virtuous wife, a husband sees in his wife’s soul only wayward impudence, and impudence in a woman is a sign of vicious behavior. The two became an unbearable burden to each other. Both already put in nothing good name because both have lost it. Is it possible to be worse than their condition? The house is abandoned. People forget the duty of obedience, seeing in their master himself a slave of his vile passions. The estate is squandered: it has become a nobody's property when its owner is not his own. The children, their unfortunate children, were already orphans during the life of their father and mother. The father, having no respect for his wife, hardly dares to embrace them, hardly dares to surrender to the tenderest feelings. human heart. Innocent babies are also deprived of the ardor of their mother. She, not worthy of having children, evades their caresses, seeing in them either the causes of her anxieties, or the reproach of her own corruption. And what upbringing should children expect from a mother who has lost her virtue? How can she teach them good manners, which she does not have? At the moment when their thoughts turn to their condition, what hell must be in the souls of both husband and wife! Sophia. My God! Why such terrible misfortunes! .. Starodum. Because, my friend, in today's marriages one rarely consults with the heart. The matter is whether the groom is noble or rich? Is the bride good or rich? There is no question of goodwill. It doesn't enter anyone's head, what's in the eyes thinking people an honest person without a great rank is a noble person; that virtue replaces everything, and nothing can replace virtue. I confess to you that my heart will only be at peace when I see you for a husband worthy of your heart, when mutual love yours... Sophia. But how can a worthy husband not be loved in a friendly way? Starodum. So. Only, perhaps, do not have love for your husband, which resembled friendship b. Have a friendship for him that would resemble love. It will be much stronger. Then, after twenty years of marriage, you will find in your hearts the former affection for each other. Wise husband! Good wife! What could be more honorable! It is necessary, my friend, that your husband obey reason, and you obey your husband, and you will both be completely prosperous ... Sofya. Everything you say touches my heart... Starodum (with tender fervor). And mine admires seeing your sensitivity. Your happiness depends on you. God has given you all the pleasures of your sex. I see in you the heart of an honest man. You, my heart friend, you combine both sexes of perfection. I caress that my vehemence does not deceive me, that virtue ... Sophia. You filled all my senses with it. (Rushing to kiss his hands.) Where is she? Starodum (kissing her hands himself). She is in your soul. I thank God that in you I find the firm foundation of your happiness. It will not depend on nobility or wealth. All this can come to you; however, for you there is the happiness of all this more. It is to feel worthy of all the blessings that you can enjoy. .. Sophia. Uncle! My true happiness is that I have you. I know the price... SCENE III The same and the Valet. The valet submits a letter to Starodum. Starodum. Where? Valet. From Moscow, by courier. (Departs.) Starodum (printing out and looking at the signature). Count Chestan. A! (Beginning to read, she pretends that her eyes cannot make it out.) Sofyushka! My glasses are on the table, in the book. SOPHIA (departing). Immediately, uncle. PHENOMENON IV Starodum (one). He, of course, writes to me in the same message about which he proposed in Moscow. I don't know Milo; but when his uncle, my true friend, when the entire public considers him an honest and worthy man... If her heart is free... SCENE V Starodum and Sofya Sofya (giving glasses). Found it, uncle. Starodum (reads) ... "I just found out now ... he is leading his team to Moscow ... He should meet with you ... I will be very glad if he sees you ... Take the trouble to find out his way of thinking" . (Aside.) Of course. I won't betray her without that... "You will find... Your true friend..." Good. This letter belongs to you. I told you that a young man of commendable qualities is presented ... My words confuse you, my friend of the heart. I noticed this just now, and now I see it. Your power of attorney to me ... Sophia. Can I have something hidden from you in my heart? No, uncle. I can honestly tell you.,. SCENE VI The same, Pravdin and Milon Pravdin. Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Milon, my true friend. Starodum (aside). Milon! Milo. I will post for true happiness if I get your good opinion, your favors to me ... Starodum. Is Count Chestan your relative? Milo. He is my uncle. Starodum. I am very pleased to be acquainted with a person of your qualities. Your uncle told me about you. He gives you all justice. Special merits... Milo. This is his mercy to me. At my age and in my position, it would be unforgivable arrogance to consider everything deserved by which a young man is encouraged by worthy people. Pravdin. I am sure in advance that my friend will gain your favor if you get to know him better. He often visited your sister's house... Starodum looks back at Sofya. SOPHIA (quietly to Starodum and in great timidity). And his mother loved him like a son. Starodum (Sofya). I am very pleased. (to Milon) I heard that you were in the army. Your fearlessness... Milo. I did my job. Neither my years, nor my rank, nor my position have yet allowed me to show direct fearlessness, if I have it in me. Starodum. How! Being in battles and exposing your life ... Milo. I exposed her like the others. Here courage was such a quality of the heart, which the commander orders the soldier to have, and honor to the officer. I confess to you sincerely that I have not yet had any chance to show direct fearlessness; I sincerely wish to test myself. Starodum. I am extremely curious to know, in what do you suppose direct fearlessness? Milo. If you allow me to say my thought, I place true fearlessness in the soul, and not in the heart. Whoever has it in her soul, without any doubt, and brave heart. In our military craft, the warrior must be brave, the military leader must be fearless. With cold blood, he sees all degrees of danger, takes the necessary measures, prefers his glory to life: but what is more, he is not afraid to forget his own for the good of the fatherland. own glory. His fearlessness, therefore, does not consist in despising his own life. He never disdains her. He knows how to sacrifice. Starodum. Fair. You believe direct fearlessness in a military leader. Does it apply to other states as well? Milo. She is a virtue; consequently, there is no state that could not distinguish itself by it. It seems to me that the courage of the heart is proved in the hour of battle, and the fearlessness of the soul in all trials, in all situations of life. And what is the difference between the fearlessness of a soldier who dares his life along with others in an attack, and between the fearlessness of a statesman who tells the truth to the sovereign, daring to anger him. The judge, who, fearing neither vengeance nor the threats of the strong, gave justice to the helpless, is in my eyes a hero. How small is the soul of the one who calls to a duel for a trifle, before the one who intercedes for the absent, whose honor in his presence the slanderers torment! I understand fearlessness in this way... Starodum. How should one understand who has it in her soul. Wallpaper me, my friend! Excuse my innocence. I am a friend honest people. This feeling is rooted in my upbringing. In yours I see and honor virtue, adorned with enlightened reason. Milo. Noble soul! .. No ... I can no longer hide my heartfelt feeling ... No; your virtue extracts by its power all the mystery of my soul. If my heart is virtuous, if it is worth it to be happy, it depends on you to make it happy. I suppose it consists in having your dear niece as a wife. Our mutual inclination... Starodum (to Sofya, with joy). How! your heart skillfully distinguish the one whom I myself offered you? Here's my fiancé... Sophia. And I love him dearly. Starodum. You both deserve each other. (Joining their hands in admiration.) With all my heart I give you my consent. MILO (embracing Starodum). My happiness is incomparable! SOPHIA (kissing Starodumov's hands). Who can be happier than me! Pravdin. How sincerely I am glad! SCENE VII The same and Skotinin Skotinin. And I'm here. Starodum. Why did you complain? Skotinin. For your need. Starodum. What can I serve? Skotinin. Two words. Starodum. What is it? Skotinin. Embracing me tighter, say: Sofyushka is yours. Starodum. Do you want to start something empty? Think well. Skotinin. I never think, and I am sure in advance that if you don’t think, then Sofyushka is mine. Starodum. How do you want me to give my niece, for whom - I do not know. Skotinin. You don't know, I'll say it. I am Taras Skotinin, not the last of my kind. The Skotinins are a great and ancient family. You will not find our ancestor in any heraldry*. Pravdin (laughing). So you will assure us that he is older than Adam? Skotinin. And what do you think? At least a few ... * Heraldry was an institution that, among other things, registered noble genealogies. Starodum (laughing). That is, your ancestor was created at least on the sixth day, but a little earlier than Adam? Skotinin. No, right? So you have a good opinion of the old of my kind? Starodum. ABOUT! so kind that I wonder how in your place you can choose a wife from a different kind, like from the Skotinins? Skotinin. Judge how happy Sofyushka is to be behind me. She is a noblewoman... Starodum. What a man! Yes, for that you are not her fiancé. Skotinin. I already went for it. Let them talk that Skotinin married a noblewoman. It doesn't matter to me. Starodum. Yes, it doesn’t matter to her when they say that the noblewoman married Skotinin. Milo. Such inequality would make you both unhappy. Skotinin. Ba! Yes, what does this equal? (Quietly to Starodum.) Ah! doesn't it beat? Starodum (quietly to Skotinin). It seems so to me. Skotinin (in the same tone). Where the hell! Starodum (in the same tone). Hard. Skotinin (loudly, pointing to Milo). Which one of us is funny? Ha, ha, ha, ha! Starodum (laughs). I see who is funny. Sophia. Uncle! I'm glad you're funny. Skotinin (to Starodum). Ba! Yes, you are a merry fellow .. Davich, I thought that there was no attack on you. I didn’t say a word, and now everyone is laughing with me. Starodum. Such is the man, my friend! Hour after hour does not come. Skotinin. This is visible. After all, I was the same Skotinin, and you were angry. Starodum. There was a reason. Skotinin. I know her. I myself am the same. At home, when I go to the nibble, but I find them out of order, annoyance will take them. And you, without saying a word, having driven here, found the sisters' house no better than nibbles, and you are annoyed. Starodum. You are happier than me. People touch me. Skotinin. And me so pigs. SCENE VIII The same, Mrs. Prostakova, Prostakov, Mitrofan and Eremeyevna Mrs. Prostakova (entering). Is everything with you, Mitrofanushka? Mitrofan. Well, don't worry. Mrs. Prostakova (to Starodum). We have come, father, to work you now with our common request. (To her husband and son.) Bow down. Starodum. Which one, ma'am? Ms Prostakova. First, I beg the mercy of everyone to sit down. Everyone sits down, except for Mitrofan and Eremeyevna. Here's the thing, daddy. For the prayers of our parents - we sinners, where would we beg - the Lord gave us Mitrofanushka. We did everything to make it become such as you would like to see it. Wouldn't you like, my father, to take on the work and see how we have learned it? Starodum. Oh, ma'am! It has already reached my ears that he now only deigned to unlearn. I found out who his teachers were. I see in advance what kind of literacy he needs to be when studying with Kuteikin, and what kind of mathematician when studying with Tsyfirkin. (To Pravdin.) I would be curious to hear what the German taught him. Ms Prostakova. All sciences, father. Prostakov. Everything, my father. Mitrofan. Everything you want. Pravdin (to Mitrofan). Why, for example? Mitrofan (gives him a book). Here, grammar. Pravdin (taking the book). I see. This is grammar. What do you know about it? Mitrofan. A lot of. Noun and adjective... Pravdin. Door, for example, what name: noun or adjective? Mitrofan. Door? Which door? Pravdin. Which door! This one. Mitrofan. This? Adjective. Pravdin. Why? Mitrofan. Because it is attached to its place. Over there, by the closet, the door has not yet been hung for six weeks: so that one is still a noun. Starodum. So that's why you have the word fool as an adjective, because it is attached to a stupid person? Mitrofan. And we know. Ms Prostakova. What is it, my father? Prostakov. What is it, my father? Pravdin. It can't be better. He is strong in grammar. Milo. I think no less in history. Ms Prostakova. Then, my father, he is still a hunter of stories. Skotinin. Mitrofan for me. I myself will not take my eyes off that the elected one does not tell me stories. Master, son of a dog, where does everything come from! Ms Prostakova. However, he still won't come against Adam Adamych. Pravdin (to Mitrofan). How far are you in history? Mitrofan. Is it far? What's the story. In another you will fly to distant lands, to thirty kingdoms. Pravdin. A! so Vralman teaches you this story? Starodum. Vralman! The name is familiar. Mitrofan. No. Our Adam Adamych does not tell stories; he, what am I, himself a hunter to listen. Ms Prostakova. Both of them force themselves to tell stories to the cowgirl Khavronya. Pravdin. Didn't they both study geography with her? Mrs. Prostakova (son). Do you hear, my dear friend? What is this science? Mitrofan (quietly to the mother). And how much do I know. Mrs. Prostakova (quietly to Mitrofan). Don't be stubborn, darling. Now show yourself. Mitrofan (quietly to the mother). Yes, I do not understand what they are asking. Ms. Prostakova (to Pravdin). What, father, did you call science? Pravdin. Geography. Ms. Prostakova (to Mitrofan). Do you hear, georgaphia. Mitrofan. Yes, what is it! Oh my God! They stuck with a knife to the throat. Ms. Prostakova (to Pravdin). And you know, father. Yes, tell him, do me a favor, what kind of science is it, he will tell it. Pravdin. Description of the land. Mrs. Prostakova (to Starodum). And what would it serve in the first case? Starodum. In the first case, it would also fit the fact that if it happened to go, you know where you are going. Ms Prostakova. Ah, my father! Yes, cabbies, what are they for? It's their business. This is not a noble science either. Nobleman, just say: take me there, they will take me wherever you want. Believe me, father, that, of course, that is nonsense, which Mitrofanushka does not know. Starodum. Oh, of course, ma'am. In human ignorance, it is very comforting to consider everything as nonsense that you do not know. Ms Prostakova. Without science people live and lived. The deceased father was a voivode for fifteen years, and with that he deigned to die, because he did not know how to read and write, but he knew how to earn and save enough. He always received petitions, sometimes sitting on an iron chest. After each, the chest will open and put something. That was the economy! He did not spare his life, so as not to take anything out of the chest. I won’t boast before another, I won’t hide from you, the deceased-light, lying on a chest with money, died, so to speak, of hunger. A! What is it like? Starodum. commendable. You have to be Skotinin to taste such a blissful picture. Skotinin. Yes, if to prove that teaching is nonsense, then let's take Uncle Vavila Falaleich. No one heard from him about literacy, nor did he want to hear from anyone. And what a head! Pravdin. What is it? Skotinin. Yes, that's what happened to him. Riding on a greyhound pacer, he ran drunk into the stone gates. The man was tall, the gate was low, he forgot to bend down. As soon as he had enough of himself with his forehead on the lintel, the Indo bent his uncle to the top of his head *, and a vigorous horse carried him out of the gate to the porch on his back. I would like to know if there is a learned forehead in the world that would not fall apart from such a cuff; and uncle, eternal memory to him, having sobered up, asked only if the gate was intact? * Potylitsa-neck; to the tails - to the tail strap at the saddle. Milo. You, Mr. Skotinin, admit yourself to be an unlearned person; however, I think in this case your forehead would be no stronger than a scientist. Starodum (to Milon). Don't worry about betting. I think that the Skotinins are all kind of strong-willed. Ms Prostakova. My father! What is the joy of learning? We see it with our own eyes and in our region. Whoever is smarter will immediately be elected by his own brothers to some position. Starodum. And who is smarter, he will not refuse to be useful to his fellow citizens. Ms Prostakova. God knows how you judge today. With us, it used to be that everyone looks at peace. (Pravdin.) You yourself, father, how much you work. And now, on my way here, I saw that some kind of package was being brought to you. Pravdin. A package for me? And no one will tell me! (Rising.) I ask you to excuse me for leaving us. Maybe there are some orders for me from the viceroy. Starodum (gets up, and everyone gets up). Go, my friend; however, I do not say goodbye to you. Pravdin. I will see you again. Are you driving tomorrow morning? Starodum. Hours at seven. Pravdin departs. Milo. Tomorrow, as I see you off, I will lead my team. Now I'm going to make an order for that. Milon departs, saying goodbye to Sophia with his eyes. SCENE IX Mrs. Prostakova, Mitrofan, Prostakov, Eremeyevna, Starodum, Sophia Mrs. Prostakova (to Starodum). Well, my father! Have you seen enough what Mitrofanushka is like? Skotinin. Well, my dear friend? Do you see what I am? Starodum. Recognized both, can not be shorter. Skotinin. Will Sofyushka be with me? Starodum. Don't be. Ms Prostakova. Is her fiance Mitrofanushka? Starodum. Not the groom. Ms Prostakova. And what would prevent? Skotinin. What was the matter? Starodum (bringing both). You alone can tell a secret. She's spoken. (Goes away and signals to Sofya to follow him.) Madame Prostakova. Ah, villain! Skotinin. Yes, he freaked out. Mrs. Prostakova (impatiently). When will they leave? Skotinin. After all, you heard, in the morning at seven o'clock. Ms Prostakova. At seven o'clock. Skotinin. Tomorrow and I will wake up with the light suddenly. If he were smart, as he pleased, and you would not be unleashed with Skotinin soon. (Leaves.) Madame Prostakova (running around the theater in anger and in thoughts). At seven o'clock! .. We will get up early... what I want, I will put on my own... Everything to me! Everyone is running. Mrs. Prostakova (to her husband). Tomorrow at six o'clock for the carriage to be brought up to the back porch. Do you hear? Don't skip. Prostakov. Listen, my mother.. Mrs. Prostakova (to Eremeyevna). You don't dare to take a nap at Sophia's doors all night long. As soon as she wakes up, run to me. Eremeevna. I won't hesitate, my mother. Mrs. Prostakova (son). You, my friend of the heart, be completely ready at six o'clock yourself and do not tell the lackeys to leave the rooms. Mitrofan. Everything will be done. Ms Prostakova. Go with God. (Everyone leaves.) And I already know what to do. Where there is anger, there is mercy. The old man is angry and forgives for captivity. And we'll take ours. End fourth act ACT FIFTH EVENT I Starodum and Pravdin Pravdin. It was the package that the hostess here herself informed me about yesterday. Starodum. So, now you have a way to stop the inhumanity of the evil landowner? Pravdin. I am instructed to take custody of the house and villages at the first rabies, from which people subject to her might suffer. Starodum. Thanks be to God that humanity can find protection! Believe me, where the sovereign thinks, where he knows what his true glory lies in, there his rights cannot but return to mankind. There everyone will soon feel that everyone should seek their happiness and benefits in the one thing that is legal, and that it is illegal to oppress their own kind by slavery. Pravdin. I agree with you on this: yes, how tricky it is to exterminate rooted prejudices in which base souls find their advantages! Starodum. Listen, my friend! Great Sovereign there is a wise sovereign. His job is to show people their direct benefit. The glory of his wisdom is to rule over people, because there is no wisdom to manage idols. The peasant, who is the worst in the village, usually chooses to tend the herd, because it takes a little intelligence to tend the cattle. A sovereign worthy of the throne seeks to elevate the souls of his subjects. We see it with our own eyes. Pravdin. The pleasure that sovereigns enjoy in possessing free souls must be so great that I do not understand what motives could distract ... Starodum. A! How great a soul must be in a sovereign in order to take the path of truth and never deviate from it! How many nets have been set up to capture the soul of a person who has the fate of his own kind in his hands! And, firstly, a crowd of stingy flatterers every minute tries to assure him that people were created for him, and not he for people. Pravdin. Without spiritual contempt it is impossible to imagine what a flatterer is. Starodum. A flatterer is a creature that is not only about others, but also about himself good opinion does not have. All his aspirations are to first blind the mind of a person, and then make him what he needs. He is a night thief who first extinguishes the candle, and then begins to steal. Pravdin. Human misfortunes, of course, are caused by their own corruption; but ways to make people kind... Starodum. They are in the hands of the sovereign. How soon everyone sees that without good manners no one can go out into the world; that neither vile service nor for any money can buy that which rewards merit; that people are chosen for places, and not places are stolen by people, then everyone finds his own advantage to be well-behaved and everyone will be good. Pravdin. Fair. The great sovereign gives... Starodum. Mercy and friendship to those whom it pleases; places and ranks to those who are worthy. Pravdin. So that in worthy people there was no shortage, now a special effort is being made to educate. .. Starodum. It should be the key to the well-being of the state. We see all the unfortunate consequences of bad education. Well, what can come out of Mitrofanushka for the fatherland, for whom ignorant parents also pay money to ignorant teachers? How many noble fathers who moral education they entrust their son to their serf slave! Fifteen years later, instead of one slave, two come out, an old uncle and a young master. Pravdin. But persons of the highest status enlighten their children... Starodum. This is all true; yes, I would like that, with all the sciences, not to be forgotten the main objective of all human knowledge - good manners. Believe me that science in a depraved person is a fierce weapon to do evil. Enlightenment elevates one virtuous soul. I would like, for example, that when raising my son noble gentleman every day his mentor unfolded History for him and showed him two places in it: in one, how great people contributed to the good of their fatherland; in another, like an unworthy nobleman, having used his power of attorney and power for evil, from the height of his magnificent nobility he fell into the abyss of contempt and reproach. Pravdin. It is really necessary that every state of people should have a decent upbringing; then you can be sure... What's that noise? Starodum. What has happened? SCENE II The same, Milon, Sofya, Eremeevna Milon (pushing away from Sofya Eremeevna, who was clinging to her, shouting to the people, having a naked sword in her hand). Don't you dare come near me! SOPHIA (rushing towards Starodum). Ah, uncle! Protect me. Starodum. My friend! What's happened! Pravdin. What an atrocity! Sophia. My heart flutters! Eremeevna. My head is gone! Milo. Villains! Coming here, I see a lot of people who, grabbing her by the arms, despite resistance and screaming, are already leading from the porch to the carriage! Sophia. Here is my deliverer! Starodum. My friend! Pravdin (Eremeevna). Now tell me where you wanted to take it, or how about the villain ... Eremeevna. Get married, my father, get married! Mrs. Prostakova (backstage). Rogues! The thieves! Fraudsters! I order everyone to be beaten to death! SCENE III The same, Mrs. Prostakova, Prostakov, Mitrofan Mrs. Prostakova. What a lady in the house I am! (Pointing to Milo.) A stranger will threaten, my order will come to nothing. Prostakov. Am I to blame? Mitrofan. Take on people! Ms Prostakova. I don't want to be alive! Pravdin. The atrocity, to which I myself am a witness, entitles you, as an uncle, and to you, as a groom ... Mrs. Prostakova. Groom! Prostakov. We are good! Mitrofan. All to hell! Pravdin. To demand from the government that the offense done to her be punished with all the severity of the laws. Now I will present her to the court as a violator of civil peace. Mrs. Prostakova (rushing to her knees) Father, I'm to blame! Pravdin. Husband and son could not but take part in the atrocity... Prostakov. Guilty without guilt. Mitrofan. Guilty, uncle. Ms Prostakova. Ah, the daughter of a dog! What have I done! SCENE IV The same and Skotinin Skotinin. Well, sister, it was a good thing ... Bah! What is this? All of us are on our knees! Mrs. Prostakova (kneeling). Ah, my fathers, the sword does not cut a guilty head. My sin! Don't ruin me. (To Sofya.) You are my own mother, forgive me. Have mercy on me (pointing to her husband and son) and on the poor orphans. Skotinin. Sister! Are you mindful? Pravdin. Shut up, Skotinin. Ms Prostakova. God will give you well-being and with your dear bridegroom, what is in my head for you? Sophia (to Starodum). Uncle! I forget my insult. Mrs. Prostakova (raising her hands to Starodum). Father! Forgive me too, a sinner. After all, I'm a man, not an angel. Starodum. I know, I know that a person cannot be an angel. You don't even have to be the devil. Milo. Both crime and repentance in it are worthy of contempt. Pravdin (to Starodum). Your slightest complaint, your one word before the government... and it cannot be saved. Starodum. I don't want anyone to die. I forgive her. Everyone jumped up from their knees. Ms Prostakova. I'm sorry! Ah, father!.. Well! Now I'll give the dawn to the canals, my people. Now I'm going to take them all one by one. Now I'll try to find out who let her out of her hands. No, scammers! No, thieves! I will never forgive this ridicule. Pravdin. And why do you want to punish your people? Ms Prostakova. Ah, father, what is this question? Am I not powerful in my people too? Pravdin. Do you think you have the right to fight whenever you want? Skotinin. Isn't a nobleman free to beat a servant whenever he wants? Pravdin. When he wants! So what is hunting? You are direct Skotinin. (To Mrs. Prostakova.) No, madam, no one is free to tyrannize. Ms Prostakova. Not free! A nobleman, when he wants to, and a servant is not free to flog: why are we given a decree on the freedom of the nobility? * * "Decree on the Liberty of the Nobility", issued in 1762 Peter III, provided the nobility with a number of advantages, including freeing the nobles from compulsory service to the state. Prostakova, on the other hand, understands the decree as permission for the nobles to do whatever they want. Starodum. A master at interpreting decrees! Ms Prostakova. If you please, mock me, but now I'm upside down... (Tries to go.) Pravdin (stopping her). Stop, sir. (Taking out a paper and in an important voice to Prostakov.) In the name of the government, I order you to immediately gather your people and peasants to announce to them a decree that for the inhumanity of your wife, to which your extreme weak-mindedness allowed her, the government orders me to take custody of your house and villages . Prostakov. A! What have we come to! Ms Prostakova. How! New trouble! For what, father? That I am a mistress in my house ... Pravdin. An inhuman lady, who cannot be tolerated in a well-established state. (To Prostakov.) Come on. PROSTAKOV (departs, clasping his hands). Who is this from, mother? Mrs. Prostakova (yearning). Oh, grief has taken! Oh sad! Skotinin. Ba! bah! bah! Yes, they will get to me. Yes, that way, and any Skotinin can fall under guardianship ... I'll get out of here in a good way, healthily . Ms Prostakova. I lose everything. I'm completely dying! Skotinin (to Starodum). I went to see you. Groom... Starodum (pointing to Milo). There he is. Skotinin. Aha! So there is nothing for me to do here. Harness the wagon, and... Pravdin. Yes, and go to your pigs. Do not forget, however, to tell all the Skotinins what they are subject to. Skotinin. How not to warn friends! I'll tell them to be people... Pravdin. More loved, or used, at least ... Skotinin. Well... Pravdin. At least they didn't touch it. Skotinin (departing). At least they didn't touch it. SCENE V Mrs. Prostakova, Starodum, Pravdin, Mitrofan, Sophia, Eremeevna Mrs. Prostakova (to Pravdin). Father, do not ruin me, what have you gained? Is there any way to cancel the order? Are all orders being followed? Pravdin. I won't step down from my position. Ms Prostakova. Give me at least three days. (Aside.) I would let myself know... Pravdin. Not for three hours. Starodum. Yes, my friend! She can do so much mischief even in three hours that you can’t help for a century. Ms Prostakova. But how can you, father, enter into trifles yourself? Pravdin. It's my business. Alien will be returned to the owners, but ... Mrs. Prostakova. And to get rid of the debts? .. Not paid extra to teachers ... Pravdin. Teachers? (Eremeyevna.) Are they here? Enter them here. Eremeevna. Tea that they brought. What about a German, my father? Pravdin. Call everyone. Eremeevna leaves. Pravdin. Do not worry about anything, madam, I will please everyone. STARODUM (seeing Madame Prostakova in anguish). Madam! You yourself will feel better, having lost the power to do bad things to others. Ms Prostakova. Thanks for the mercy! Where am I fit when my own hands and will are not in my house! SCENE VI The same, Eremeevna, Vralman, Kuteikin, Tsyfirkin Eremeevna (bringing the teachers in to Pravdin). That's all our bastard for you, my father. Vralman (to Pravdin). Fache high-and-blank. Did they ask me to go to the sepa? .. Kuteikin (to Pravdin). Bykh called, and came. Tsyfirkin (to Pravdin). What will be the order, your honor? STARODUM (looks at him since Vralman's arrival). Ba! Is that you, Vralman? Vralman (recognizing Starodum). Ay! ouch! ouch! ouch! ouch! It is you, my gracious master. (Kissing the floor of the Starodum.) Are you old-fashioned, my father, poshifat isfoly? Pravdin. How? Is he familiar to you? Starodum. How not familiar? He was my coachman for three years. Everyone shows surprise. Pravdin. Quite a teacher! Starodum. And you're here as a teacher. Vralman? I thought, really, that you are a kind person and you won’t take on something other than your own. Vralman. What to tell, my father? I'm not a perfo, I'm not a post-summer. For three months, Moskfe staggered from place to place, Kutsher nihte not Nata. It came to me lipo to die of hunger, or a suture ... Pravdin (to the teachers). By the will of the government, having become the guardian of the house here, I release you. Tsyfirkin. Better not. Kuteikin. Would you like to let go? Let's read it first... Pravdin. What do you need? Kuteikin. No, sir, my account is not small. For half a year for studies, for shoes that you wore out at the age of three, for a simple one that you wander here, it happened, in an empty way, for ... Ms. Prostakova. Insatiable soul! Kuteikin! What is it for? Pravdin. Do not interfere, madam, I beg you. Ms Prostakova. Yes, if it’s true, what did you learn Mitrofanushka? Kuteikin. It's his business. Not mine. Pravdin (to Kuteikin). Good good. (Tsyfirkin). How much do you pay? Tsyfirkin. To me? Nothing. Ms Prostakova. He, father, was given ten rubles for one year, and not a penny was paid for another year. Tsyfirkin. So: for those ten rubles I wore out my boots in two years. We and the tickets. Pravdin. And for teaching? Tsyfirkin. Nothing. Starodum. Like nothing? Tsyfirkin. I won't take anything. He didn't take anything. Starodum. However, you have to pay less. Tsyfirkin. My pleasure. I served the sovereign for more than twenty years. I took money for the service, I didn’t take it in an empty way and I won’t take it. Starodum. Here's a straight a kind person! Starodum and Milon take money out of their wallets. Pravdin. Aren't you ashamed, Kuteikin? Kuteikin (lowering his head). Shame on you, damned. Starodum (to Tsyfirkin). Here's to you my friend kind soul. Tsyfirkin. Thank you, your highness. Thankful. You are free to give me. I don’t deserve it myself, I won’t demand a century. MILO (giving him money). Here's to you, my friend! Tsyfirkin. And thanks again. Pravdin also gives him money. Tsyfirkin. What are you complaining about, your honor? Pravdin. Because you don't look like Kuteikin. Tsyfirkin. AND! Your honor. I'm a soldier. Pravdin (to Tsyfirkin). Go, my friend, with God. Tsifirkin departs. Pravdin. And you, Kuteikin, perhaps come here tomorrow, but take the trouble to deal with the mistress herself. Kuteikin (running out). With myself! I retreat from everything. Vralman (to Starodum). Do not leave the old man of hearing, fashe fiskorie. Take me back to the sepe. Starodum. Yes, you, Vralman, I tea, lagged behind the horses? Vralman. Hey no, my darling! Shiuchi with stesh hospots, it concerned me that I was a fse with horses. PHENOMENON VII The same valet valet (to Starodum). Your card is ready. Vralman. Will you give me a bite to eat now? Starodum. Go sit on the goats. Vralman leaves. THE LAST PHENOMENON Mrs. Prostakova, Starodum, Milon, Sophia, Pravdin, Mitrofan, Eremeevna Starodum (to Pravdin, holding the hands of Sophia and Milon). Well my friend! We go. Wish us... Pravdin. All the happiness that honest hearts are entitled to. Mrs. Prostakova (rushing to embrace her son). You alone remained with me, my hearty friend, Mitrofanushka! Mitrofan. Yes, get off, mother, as imposed ... Mrs. Prostakova. And you! And you leave me! A! ungrateful! (She fainted.) SOPHIA (running up to her). My God! She has no memory. Starodum (Sofya). Help her, help her. Sophia and Eremeevna help. Pravdin (to Mitrofan). Scoundrel! Should you be rude to your mother? It is her mad love for you that has brought her most of all to misfortune. Mitrofan. Yes, she seems to be unknown ... Pravdin. Rude! Starodum (Eremeevna). What is she now? What? Yeremeevna (looking intently at Madame Prostakova and clasping her hands). Wake up, my father, wake up. Pravdin (to Mitrofan). With you, my friend, I know what to do. I went to serve ... Mitrofan (waving his hand). According to me, where they are told ... Mrs. Prostakova (waking up in despair). I completely died! My power has been taken away! From shame, you can’t show your eyes anywhere! I don't have a son! Starodum (pointing to Madame Prostakova). Here are the worthy fruits of evil-mindedness!