Parents urge the child, threaten him, almost force him to get up, wash, dress, have breakfast and go to school.
A lazy child was not born that way, although some children are indeed born slower than others. Many “lazy people” have become so because they are constantly spurred on: “Finish dinner quickly,” “How many times do you have to repeat that it’s time to go to bed?” The habit of pushing children is developed very quickly, but the child becomes even more distracted and slow. Parents make excuses that they simply have to push the child, otherwise he will be forever late. A vicious circle is created, but as a rule, the parents themselves laid the foundation for it, especially if they are impatient or in such a hurry that they cannot get used to the natural pace of the child's life.
You have to start early
When the child is still small and cannot follow all your instructions, show him step by step everything he has to do. When he has grown enough to feel his own responsibility, quietly leave the stage. If he forgets something, show everything again. When he goes to school, you need to accustom him to the idea that this is his job, where you can’t be late. It's okay if he's late for school a couple of times or misses the bus and misses classes. In this case, he will be upset himself.
The child does not like to be in delicate situations even more than the parents. This is the best incentive to get him to hurry up.
How to deal with slowness
If the child has already grown up, but is still too slow, then this is most likely due to his disorganization and absent-mindedness. He starts to dress, but on his way to the closet he finds a toy to play with, or a doll to put into bed, or a book to read. Fifteen minutes go by and he's still in his pajamas, fiddling with his toys serenely. It can help to draw up a daily routine in the form of pictures or, if the child already knows how to read and write, in writing, where all the actions that he must complete in order to, for example, get ready for school in the morning will be described step by step. Put this piece of paper in a transparent folder so that the child can make easily erased marks on it with a felt-tip pen about the completion of each step. Set a timer for him and set a task for the child so that he completes all the actions on the list before the bell rings. Praise him if he made it to the allotted time, but don't overdo it. the best award for the child, it will be that he himself dressed and prepared for school without tedious moralizing and prodding, and he still has a few minutes left to read, play computer games and even watch TV.
Before mastering the methods of raising slow children, you should understand what is the reason for this very slowness and why the child becomes like that.
Causes of children's slowness
According to statistics, every seventh child can be considered slow. At the same time, it is very important to be able to distinguish a truly slow child from a child who has a slow rate of performance due to general weakness of the body, frequent illnesses or left-handedness.
A slow child has low mobility nervous activity, which affects the pace of all the activities of such a child. Most scientists agree that the pace of each person's activity is individual and is an innate feature that is almost impossible to change.
It is important to understand that the mobility of the processes of nervous activity is characterized not only by the speed with which a person can perform a particular movement, but also by the time during which he perceives the signal and begins to actually act. This process improves as a person grows up. Therefore, even a slow child at 8 years old will be faster than a three-year-old. very important and individual characteristics every child. As a result, the speed of activity of a slow child is 1.5, and sometimes even 2 times lower than usual.
It is also necessary to realize that the pace of any activity of a slow child will always lag behind the pace of a child with high mobility of nervous processes. And the most important thing, understanding this, is not to push the baby, but to create favorable conditions for him, so as not to undermine child health. Since the irritability and shouting of adults will only worsen the situation, further slowing down the pace of the child's work and significantly reducing its quality.
It is impossible to rush a slow child, since the effect will be the opposite and the likelihood of developing a neurosis will increase many times over.
Manifestations of childish slowness
It is important to understand the condition of the child and pay attention to the fact that he, too, suffers, beginning to understand that he does not keep up with the rest of the children. Moreover, trying to “catch up” with the rest and satisfy the demands of adults (parents, teachers, educators), gradually the child begins to suffer from physical ailments. This increases fatigue, frequent headaches, and sleep disturbances. Often, as a result of a misunderstanding of adults, the child begins to need not only a special pedagogical approach, but also serious treatment.
Therefore, having the characteristics of work nervous system, sluggish children react longer to instructions from adults, get involved in work more slowly, it is difficult to switch from one type of activity to another, they read and write more slowly. As a result, learning programs are slower to master. So, it is easy to guess that the child gradually grows and strengthens the fear of not being able to keep up with everyone, getting disapproving grades from adults, becoming a lagging student. Such situation - Right way to child health problems.
However, one should not think that a slow child is doomed to be an outsider. Do not forget about age compensation and that it is in the power of parents to help their baby adapt to the pace of life around him.
If you want to know for sure whether the child suffers from slowness or not, then conduct a simple test. The main thing is that during testing the child is rested and healthy, and you are not in a hurry, that is, the atmosphere should be calm and inviting. Also, the child should be able to count to 10.
Slowness test
Take a notebook sheet in a box and offer the child in any line, putting a point in each box, clearly count to 10. That is, you should get 10 points in a row in a row.
Then evaluate the child's work. If your kid is 6 years old, then he should complete the task in 10-12 seconds, if he is 7 years old, then he will need 6-8 seconds. Such indicators will indicate a normal pace of activity. A slow child will spend on doing test task 2 (or 1.5) times more time.
Often parents complain that he, as if to spite them, digs. But this is not so, because children under the age of six do not yet know how to distinguish between the speed of actions. But, reacting to the emotions of adults at the command “Come on, faster!”, They will fuss, the volume of the count will change, but the speed of the task itself will not only not increase, but may become even lower. It is also important to take into account the fact that a truly slow child has an increased reaction time to the “Do” command, therefore, when everyone has already begun to work, he will start 2.5-3 times later. And the discontent and irritated shouts of adults will only aggravate the situation and slow down the whole process.
Slow children have no less mental faculties than all the rest. It's just that the pace of their activity is significantly reduced, so they will do the same thing, but later than others. Therefore, in individual lessons, the child shows excellent results. However, the impatient urging of adults can only exacerbate the process of inhibition and worsen the situation.
Features of raising a slow child
Knowing that your child is slow, allow him to work at his optimal pace. Then you will be pleasantly surprised by the accuracy of the task, and its quality.
Speaking about such a feature of a slow child as the difficulty of switching from one type of activity to another, one must understand how difficult it is for him to grasp the rapidly changing tasks in the classroom. And when the teacher (educator) simultaneously decides several educational goals, combining mathematics with the development of speech, etc., then a child who is not able to switch instantly will not be able to answer a question at all or quickly complete a task. And at this time, all the other children will be ready for the next stage of the lesson (lesson).
Perhaps, in this situation, it will seem to adults that the child is not responding, but in fact, he is just still thinking about the previous task and does not keep up with the general pace.
Often a slow child is "convenient" for parents, he is not fussy, loves quiet games often shunned by other children. That is, it does not cause as much trouble as an active child.
It would be a mistake to encourage such behavior. Parents of slow children, on the contrary, should teach them to actively move, run, play outdoor games with their peers. In this case, the lack of mobility of the nervous processes will train, and the slow child will learn to act faster.
Ways to train a slow child
The maximum results are obtained by work carried out with children 4-6 years old. A very good technique aimed at changing the type of activity: “fast-slow”, that is, a change in the pace of movement and the periodic inclusion of maximum speeds. For example:
- alternating walking and running (slow - fast - slow - fast - very fast-slow);
- clap your hands (or stomp your feet), also slowly - quickly;
- drumming with your fingers on the table at a changing pace;
- in a notebook in a box, alternate dots and sticks;
- jumping rope with a change in speed.
You can set maximum speeds when the child already knows how to slow down and accelerate, otherwise the effect may be reversed and the command “very fast” will turn out very slowly.
It is very important not only to systematically engage with the child for 10-15 minutes a day, but also to make these activities interesting and attractive for the child. Can be practiced at any free time, most importantly - daily.
Also try to spend more time with your child: walk, play outdoor games, start family tradition, for example, on Sundays to play football with the whole family (volleyball, catch-up, hide and seek, badminton, etc.). Know that outdoor games and physical exercise help get rid of the emotional stress that accompanies a slow baby everywhere.
Often slow children suffer from sleep disorders. Therefore, it is useful to take a walk before going to bed, not sorting out the relationship, but remembering something good. Before going to bed, try not to rush to put the baby to sleep as quickly as possible. Sit with him, pat on the back, on the head. Tactile contact is very important for the healthy growth of the baby. The sound of your voice should soothe and set you up for relaxation. It's good to sing something softly. And even if you are angry or upset, the evening ritual should be mandatory for you, only in this way the child will feel protected and calm. Let the child fall asleep with his favorite toy every time, this is a useful technique. If you are reading to your child at bedtime, then the stories must have a good ending, and even better, a repetitive plot that will help you fall asleep.
Not only falls asleep, but the slow child wakes up for a long time, give him time in the morning to just lie down and wake up. Do not forget that any rush will provoke an even greater slowdown. In general, speaking about organizing a child's day, it is important to note that a clear regimen is a great way to educate any baby, not just a slow one.
Remember that a favorable, calm family environment is especially important for a slow child, otherwise all your efforts will be in vain. Try to bring to all family members the methods of raising a child in order to develop a unity of requirements and a common tactic of behavior.
Never compare a slow child with his active peers. You can only compare with his own successes, and then only if today turned out better than yesterday.
Despite the fact that each educator (teacher) knows the methods of working with different children, if you notice that the child is depressed, irritable and does not show a desire to attend kindergarten or school, talk to the teacher. Perhaps he simply has not yet had time to pay attention to the peculiarities of your baby's activities, and you will delicately tell him about them. Slowing down the pace of work always affects school success, so you need to help your child from the first school day, and not when he becomes unsuccessful or there are health problems.
Parents of a slow student must constantly control how he learns the material, explaining the misunderstood. Ideally, you should preliminarily analyze the next topic with the child so that he has an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat awaits him in the classroom and has time to understand. Such a preliminary stock of knowledge will prevent gaps in knowledge from accumulating. With this approach, the prognosis for the development of the child will be favorable and, by about the fourth grade, your student will level out and be able to keep up with the rest.
When arranging games with competitive elements, do not forget that the baby must also be a winner, so adjust to his pace.
Sometimes it is fashionable to achieve a good result and treat the problem with humor. But you need to joke without irritation and anger, it’s good if you can also ridicule such qualities in yourself.
In general, get used to the idea that your child is who he is. From this, he does not become bad, he is just slow, which means that you need to accept him just like that and not try to remake him at all costs, but help him learn to live in harmony with himself and those around him.
And now here is the task: put a dot in each cell and count loudly "One, two, three" and so on. Lena diligently draws dots and, drawing out the words, making long pauses, counts.
And now here is the task: put a dot in each cell and count loudly "One, two, three" and so on. Lena diligently draws dots and, drawing out the words, making long pauses, counts.
- Okay, smart girl, now do the same, only faster.
The girl raises her eyes in fright and barely audibly, guiltily says: "I can't go any faster...". Tears in my eyes, lips trembling...
“It’s always like this,” Mom remarks irritably. Previously, she was not such a crybaby, but now it comes to hysteria.
Mom's story: "I grew up normally, I just ate badly, I could sit over a plate for hours. I was already losing my temper, even to consulted doctors, maybe some kind of illness, - nothing. She was at home until she was three and a half years old, I sat with her, and then went to the garden.
At home, I didn’t pay attention to how she dresses, she dressed herself. You know, like at home - a thousand things to do, and I have more than one Lena, then the youngest was already born. And as I went to kindergarten, so only complaints; everyone has been walking for a long time, and she is just getting dressed; everyone is already having lunch, and she is unlacing her shoes. And at home everything is the same ... But my main torment began last year, when I went to school. At first they could not learn the letters, the lessons were done for 3-4 hours. How many notebooks we have written, but there is no sense ... Look here. (Mom holds out notebooks, in which on each page in red ink: "Again half of the task. Where is the second half of the task?", "And that's all ?!", "Dirty", "Careless", "You don't try!".) And now getting worse and worse with both writing and reading. She has a B in reading speed and is not very good at math ... "
Mom complained about Lenin's stubbornness and whims for a long time. She had no doubts that she was right and wanted to get one piece of advice: "How to force?".
We managed to talk to Lena with great difficulty. And we found out: she is "the slowest and pulls the whole class back"; "exhausted her mother" - and her mother often punishes her: for bad grades, and "for dirt in the notebook", and for the fact that "everything does not have time" ... Now she often " Bad mood"," I want to cry, "and my head hurts," especially when I sit down to do my homework; I tell my mom But she doesn't believe." And Lena is also afraid to be alone in the room and cannot fall asleep for a long time in the evening. Sorrowfully pursing her lips and not childishly sighing, Lena ends unexpectedly: "I'm tired of everything, I'm tired."
Needless to say - there is something to get tired of this unfortunate girl, brought to a neurosis by a misunderstanding of adults! The test results showed that Lena's intellectual development, stock of knowledge and skills correspond to her age, she satisfactorily mastered school curriculum. But the pace of activity (her individual pace) is more than two times lower than that of her peers. Yes, she writes very slowly; but when it works at its own pace - there are almost no mistakes, no trembling lines and additional touches, no "dirt". It turns out "almost beautiful"! Here she reads aloud really badly: she rearranges and changes sounds, makes long pauses between syllables, sometimes she seems to stumble and stop. In general, he does everything uncertainly; Or rather, in full confidence that he is doing wrong; praise, encouragement at the first moment does not believe; gathers for a long time before starting to complete the task, fusses, is nervous. She reacts to "Don't rush", "Don't hurry", "Everything is fine" as a fit - she is so used to the fact that she "always lags behind" and is driven on... The results of the examination showed that Lena is the so-called slow or slow child.
Unfortunately, such situations are not isolated. And, even more unfortunately, neither parents nor teachers, as a rule, understand the condition of the child. And they continue to put deuces, scold them, blame them for laziness - not paying attention to the child's own suffering ... And they are not only moral. Gradually, fatigue grows, headaches appear, sleep is disturbed ... Everything ends, as a rule, like this sharp deterioration health, that not only pedagogical correction is already needed, but also treatment. But at first these are not sick children; Just such are the features of their nervous system. Hence, slow speech and writing, because they take longer than others to work, it is more difficult to move from one type of activity to another. And, as a rule, they do not keep up with the pace of the class. It is clear what happens next: the constant fear of falling behind, failures, dissatisfaction with the teacher and parents, eternal prodding - all this leads directly to health problems ...
Teachers do not need to be convinced of the need individual approach to such children - they heard about it a hundred times. But in practice ... in practice, almost nothing works! The excuse is the overcrowding of the class, the difficulty with today's children, the intensity of today's learning process. And they try to either not notice such children, or they demand: "Faster!", And if the task is not completed, they put deuces. Gaps in knowledge accumulate already in the second quarter, academic performance drops sharply and ... as a rule, a child does not leave the category of underachievers. And often parents already consider their child not very capable, or even stupid. How is it, they say, others have time for everything, but he does not seem to understand that it is necessary faster. But the parents themselves do not understand - the point is not in abilities, but in the fact that the child is constantly forced to work at an unbearable pace for him! Teacher talks too fast, changes too fast Kind of activity, too quickly everyone opened notebooks and write; and then they do something else, and he still writes ...
Proven: even a slight degree of slowness greatly reduces the child's chances of school success. And therefore, such children need help not when there is already poor progress and deviations in health, but from the first days at school!
There are not so few children who are slow in our country: according to some data - 22% (according to our observations, less - 10-12%, but we do not include in this number those children in whom slowness is associated with left-handedness, frequent illnesses, general weakness). The "truly slow" ones have low mobility of nervous processes; this determines the optimal pace of any activity for them.
Of course, an adult can arbitrarily change the pace of his activity and do something, for example, tap his finger on the table, faster and slower ... But the fastest pace of a slow person will still be lower than the pace of a fast one! And a child at six years of age can practically work only at his own optimal pace. Moreover, many researchers believe that the individual pace of activity is an innate feature, which is practically impossible to change significantly.
The mobility of nervous processes determines not only the speed of the movement itself, but also the time from the signal to the beginning of actions to the beginning of this action. With age, these indicators are gradually improving, and, naturally, the movements of a preschooler are much faster than the movements of two or three-year-old children. But individual differences do not go anywhere, they are sometimes even stronger; and among the six-year-olds there may be children who have the same pace as the fast four-year-olds ...
Parents often ask: will the procrastination go away? No, in children with low mobility of nervous processes, the pace of activity will always be lower than in children with high mobility. The main thing is not to speed up their work at the initial stage of training, but to create all the conditions so as not to aggravate this condition, not to disrupt their health. After all, it is worth knocking the child out of the rut - and this, in turn, will slow down writing, reading, and any other activity even more. And besides, it will greatly degrade its quality.
Hurrying, urging such a child is not only useless (he will not work faster; the effect will be the opposite), but it is also harmful - this is how the conditions for the emergence of a neurosis are created.
Many parents of slow children themselves notice this, but they see here almost childish malignancy: "I rush him, but he is even slower in spite of himself ..." The fact is that the speed of action in such children is 1.5-2 times lower than usual.
This is easy enough to check. Put a sheet of paper in a cage in front of the child and ask each cell (on any line) to put a dot and count loudly to ten. On average, ordinary six-year-olds complete this task in 10-12 seconds, seven-year-olds in 6-8 seconds; and for slow ones this time is 1.5-2 times longer.
And this "out of spite", to which parents sometimes react so nervously, alas, depends little on the desire of the child. Firstly, six-year-olds and younger children cannot distinguish between the speed of actions. True, at the word "Faster!" they begin to fuss, count louder or quieter - and the speed remains the same! Secondly, in slow children, the time from the signal "Do" to the start of actions is 2.5-3 times longer than in the rest. Shouting, irritation, dissatisfaction of adults slow down their preparatory period even more; and it seems that they are pulling out of spite.
This must be taken into account when the children sit down for lessons, and when, showing parental zeal, you suddenly demand: "Quickly tell me the rule!" A slow child may know this rule very well, but you do not let him get ready, you spur him on: “I didn’t learn it again!” He is nervous - and even deeper process of inhibition. And it's not that he thinks badly - we are talking only about pace, not about quality mental activity.
If we take into account the characteristics of such a child and, most importantly, give him the opportunity to work at an optimal (for him!) pace, the quality and accuracy of such work can be very high!
Another feature of slow children that should be remembered is the difficulty of switching (especially fast) to a new type of activity. These children are often referred to as "inert", meaning that they do not keep up with a rapidly changing situation, often do not grasp it. If you explained mathematics to a child, and then suddenly at the same time decided to remember how this or that letter is written, the child’s answer will upset you - but he just has not yet been able to switch, reorganize; That's why he can't answer your question right off the bat. And at a superficial glance, this difficulty in switching, the inability to keep up with rapidly changing tasks, a change in activity may seem like stupid indifference - the child does not seem to react ... In reality, a new task may come at a time when the solution of the previous task is still ongoing ...
Using the example of slow children, we can see with our own eyes how significant the real meaning is of the thesis with which "generally" everyone agrees, but in reality is neglected: children are different. In mobile children, the acceleration of the rate of signaling has a stimulating effect on the course of nervous processes. And in slow children, when the pace of signaling is accelerated, the amount of information absorbed decreases! Slow ones react to the load not by increasing, but by further reducing the amount of assimilated information, which means that the load leads to a deepening of inhibition. Can you imagine the difficulty a slow child experiences when listening to fast speech or follow the quick show educational material! He does not have time to catch the essence of the story or explanation; naturally, a greater or lesser part of what is heard and seen is not assimilated. But if you repeat the same thing again or speak more slowly, such children would do a great job! But this, alas, is not always possible in the classroom; Therefore, parents can help the child.
We advise parents: not only to analyze in detail everything that is incomprehensible, not learned in the lesson, but even to go one step ahead so that the day before the child knows what he will do in the lesson, so that he has time to catch the thought and actions of the teacher. If the child is not given such a preliminary supply, gaps will accumulate very quickly; But it is especially difficult for such children to catch up!
So, the individual pace of the child's activity is determined mainly by the innate characteristics of his nervous system. However, some other factors and circumstances may contribute to it: upbringing, conditions for growth and development , health status etc. Imagine a child being raised by an elderly grandmother. She has measured movements, a slow gait, slightly drawn-out speech, she does not tolerate noise, fast movements - and constantly restrains her pet, does not allow her to “run around uselessly”, “spin”. Such a baby will not be able to painlessly fit into an active, mobile children's society; he will shun children and keenly feel his awkwardness, as he is not used to thinking quickly and acting quickly. Therefore, such a child (perhaps with quite normal mobility of nervous processes) may be in for the difficulties inherent in slow children.
Special meaning has the influence of educational influences in cases where the inertia (small mobility) of nervous processes manifests itself as a natural trait. Such children are "comfortable", they do not cause anxiety, they prefer calm sedentary games to running around. Because of the slowness, they can shun peers from kindergarten; A if parents encourage such behavior, do not help the child - they do not teach them to move, run, jump, and sometimes, due to fear of infections or for some other reason, they themselves limit contact with children - all this only exacerbates the slowness.
And now a child of such development and upbringing comes to school. And - the new environment, new faces, new demands are too much for him! The kid is lost, does not know what to do, literally freezes when he is asked a question; in response, he is often silent or begins to cry.
... Ira grew "imperceptibly" (so my mother said). Even the first year, usually the most difficult for parents, was neither sleepless nor restless. She slept for 10-12 hours, however, she ate without hunting. Ira went in time, started talking; but she did not differ in talkativeness; every word is gold. It cannot be said that she was unhappy; but there was a certain stiffness, lethargy, in her. Until the age of three, her mother was at home with her and tried to avoid contact with the children, as they always ended in Irina's tears: "The children always offended her, took away her toys, she was very upset." It took a long time to get used to kindergarten, it was difficult and I was glad for any reason to stay at home. Once, already senior group, ate snow, "to get sick and not go to kindergarten." Yes, and the teacher did not really complain about her: “I always have to mess around with her alone - I dress, then undress, then I feed, otherwise she will sit over the plate all day.”
Ira prepared for school and went to study with great desire. But the first day at school ended in tears. Ira did not have time to do anything, avoided children, shuddered and got lost when her last name was called. And the loud-voiced and very determined teacher horrified her. At home, the torment continued - it was necessary to write beautifully and quickly, but it turned out worse and worse ... And there was something wrong with reading ... Ira became withdrawn, often cried for no reason, began to sleep badly (crying out in her sleep, falling asleep with difficulty); and one morning before school started vomiting. They called the doctor, they decided that she ate something wrong. Ira did not go to school for several days - and everything was in order; but as soon as it was necessary to go to class, vomiting repeated. This went on for several weeks until the parents were advised to consult a neuropsychiatrist. He immediately understood: all these violations were manifestations of school neurosis, which arose in a slow child as a result of constant time pressure.
We talk about this in detail because For many parents, a quiet child that does not cause much anxiety suits even more than a lively, restless, active child. And it turns out: the property of mobility, and so insufficient, is weakened even more without training! Namely, children with insufficient mobility of nervous processes need constant training! Otherwise, the process of adaptation to school can be not only difficult, but with a combination of adverse conditions (wrong tactics of the teacher and parents), lead to school stress and cause severe health problems. So do not rejoice at quiet children - it is better to try to stir them up in games in the time remaining before school.
Sometimes slow children go through the first weeks of school quite calmly. And the main difficulties begin in the second quarter. Increased volume, intensity written work- and then there is a whole bunch of difficulties in writing. A child has only two options. Or write beautifully, in accordance with the requirements of calligraphy, but then things go slowly. Or quickly, as the teacher requires (“Keep up with the pace of the whole class!”), But then trembling lines appear, additional strokes, letters look in different directions, their height and width are not respected. However, try to write yourself 2-3 times faster than usual - what happens? So it is with a slow child ... Further - worse. He does not have time to complete all the tasks, begins to write with errors. And at school and at home they consider: "He began to be lazy", "He does not want", "Does not try."
Even greater difficulties arise when writing and reading are checked "for speed". Unfortunately, not all teachers know: the pace of writing and reading in slow children can be much lower than in the standards - but this does not affect the quality of reading. If you see that the teacher does not pay attention to the slowness of your child, try (but tactfully, correctly, without reproaches) to bring this feature to the teacher's consciousness and ask him to be more indulgent to the handwriting of the slow. Yes, and do not scold the little schoolboy for handwriting! In the future, a lot is compensated, something can be trained, something not to fix attention on. After all, the main thing, after all, is not exemplary calligraphy, but children's health!
Does training help slow kids?
Yes, special studies have shown: systematic classes contribute to an increase in the speed of work for both preschoolers and schoolchildren. Such training is most successful at the age of 4 to 6 years. In order for classes to be effective, it is necessary to organize the life of the child in such a way that all loads are training. In addition, special training is also needed - daily 10-15-minute classes. It is not at all difficult to create such conditions, but there is a special tactic that you must follow: do not rush, do not rush the child, do not be nervous at the same time, do not pull or push him. Are you in a hurry? These are your problems. Remember: any rush will cause even more slowdown! Calmly, without irritation, wait for the child to get up (by the way, sluggish children do not jump out of bed right away, they should move away from sleep, just lie down for 5-10 minutes), wash themselves, have breakfast. Better wake him up early...
Do not conflict in the evening before going to bed, do not reproach for long preparations for bedtime. At the same time, you yourself must be sufficiently organized - otherwise there will be no success. It is necessary to make it easier for the child to perform all daily activities: help in this can well organized mode. If the child gets used (it takes time, so be patient) to get up and go to bed at the same time, eat and do homework, if he knows what is ahead and what he has already done, then it will become much easier for him to cope with slowness .
You can come up with a lot of games that will help the child overcome it: it is important to do something together, competing - but at the same time it is important not to get carried away by the "winning role" and adjust to his pace.
A difficult question: is it possible to act on kopush with humor? Yes, you can play a joke on a kopush - but in a kind way, without irritation! You can emphasize this quality in yourself - and let the child laugh. Let's give him the opportunity to realize his slowness and at the same time not feel flawed and incapable.
Accustom yourself (and him too) to the thought: because he is slow, he is neither good nor bad, but just the way he is. And he needs help with these qualities to navigate both at school and in life.
How else to train? Need to know: training with gradually accelerating movements is not very successful; the use of limiting speeds is more efficient, but leads to fatigue. The most successful work is using the "slow-fast" technique: the lessons include sharp transitions from a slow pace of movements to a fast one and vice versa; and from time to time the limiting speeds of movements are given.
You can use games with a change in the speed of movements:
1) walking-running-walking is slow;
2) clapping hands slowly-quickly-slowly;
3) "running" with fingers (big and forefinger); it's good enough for a child difficult task, so first let him learn how to "run" at a normal pace; you can compete
4) jump over the jump rope, changing the pace;
5) knock on the table or on the drum (with all fingers or one);
6) draw sticks and put dots. To do this, use a notebook in a cage;
7) the same task, but more complicated - put dots, draw sticks and count: "One, two, three ..." - up to ten.
When the child learns to work at a certain pace and slow it down, you can try games with the fastest possible movements. Do not be upset if at first your "Faster!" may come out even slower, especially for those movements that are performed by hands, fingers. At the initial stage, you should not play "who is faster."
When do these classes take place? At any time of the day, the main thing is that they be systematic, not boring, but interesting, not a burdensome obligation, but a fun game.
To relieve emotional stress, you can use special complexes of autogenic training. It is believed that already at the age of 7-8, children are able to understand the rules of autogenic training and apply it meaningfully. If you have the opportunity to attend special autogenic training groups for children (or with children) - that's great. If not, you can use some of the tricks yourself at home. In order for such training to be effective, you must first relax the child, relieve tension. Did you know that movements, outdoor games, gymnastics, exercises with a ball and a rope not only strengthen child physically, but also relieve tension, give the necessary discharge?
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If you find several times a week for half an hour or an hour to run with your son or daughter, play cat and mouse, catch up, sandals, badminton, or just jump "like a hare", walk "like a bear", run "like a lion ", you will notice how tension, alertness, uncertainty disappear, how your contact with the child is established. You can relax the child in the evening, before going to bed, after walking together, discussing some business. "Does your mother sing songs to you before going to bed?" - we ask the kids. A typical answer: "I used to sing, now I don't, she says that I'm already big." It would be nice to sit next to you (not in a hurry, not twitching because there are a lot of things to do or on television interesting program), stroke the child on the head, on the back with light calm movements, run it several times on the forehead, as if removing all daytime worries and anxieties, saying something affectionate, kind ... Do not deprive the child of your warmth, even if he is somehow upset or upset you! Do not remember the troubles at night! This is especially important for those children who do not fall asleep well and sleep anxiously. According to the Austrian physician Gisela Eberlein, in young children, the basis of fear is unresolved, "unprocessed" conflicts. The child feels threatened, restless, and sleeps poorly. Adults often cannot find out the cause of these disorders: after all, a small child cannot express his condition in words ... Some kind of comforter helps in falling asleep - a bear, a hare, a doll ...
Favorite fairy tales or stories with sequels help a lot to overcome daytime troubles and fears - and always with good ending! You can dream about coming holidays or a Sunday walk, an interesting book that you will start tomorrow, or buying a bicycle. But just in no case do not put the condition "if ..." - you can get into a deadlock.
We would like to emphasize: any efforts to relax, relieve tension will not be effective if tension reigns in the house. The well-known psychotherapist A. I. Zakharov noted: for a child, not only your discontent expressed clearly in any form is essential, but also discontent that is not outwardly expressed, but heard by him intuitively. And when heard, it causes a state of uncertainty and anxious expectation in children. Remember this. If mom tries to make the tension subside in the evening, so that the son relaxes, and dad gives vent to his irritation in the morning ("You're digging again!"), there will be no sense in classes. Sometimes it is difficult for parents to agree among themselves. But still try: a unified and coordinated tactic of relating to the child, to his behavior, to his successes and failures is an indispensable condition for the success of any activity.
So, slowness is a property of the nervous system. You cannot force a child to do everything as quickly as adults want. You can not compare a slow child with his mobile peers. Fast pace is given to slow children at a great cost. The constant time trouble in which they live is one of the most harmful factors; this is the path to neurosis.
But this does not mean that slow children are doomed to be forever behind. First, there is an age compensation; secondly, it is in the power of parents to make it easier for the child to adapt to school.
And then, by about the fourth grade, the child evens out and feels equal among his peers ...
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